briano alliano performs on venus party trap




oh yeah, bow bow come on and party on, oh yeah

get down and party and listen to everyone saying hey dudes lets party on

move on toward the next day, partying is so much fun

we get out the methane smoothies and spray it all over the dead up here

you see if you are sitting in the bedroom feeling like a hooligan

just go to bed and join me in the venus party trap and sing

we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas from everyone here

you see the videos on youtube a crackling up, but it sometimes shows a good effect

like it keeps pausing and you see the picture looking fantastic, oh yeah bow bow

you see people drinking alcohol very slowly, oh yeah, dude

you see i am a family person who loves to party, party party won’t stardy

move me, oh yeah won’t you move me

i watch all sorts of shows on youtube like entertaining christmas tree lighting ceremonies

and i try and watch stop start halloween parades on youtube, it’s got a good effect

and that is the methane dripping down on brian allan’s computer

you see i feel like someone is trying to keep with the young dudes

despite me liking what i had when i was a kid

i liked when young dudes would show me a picture, and slow it up and blow it up

and that is the reason why computers break up, but it looks cool

and then a voice comes up and says your just as messed up as the rest of us brian allan


and now here is another song titled let it shine, a copy of the christmas song let it snow

the weather outside is wonderful and the sun is so cool, yeah

and i don’t know which way oh yeah, let it shine let it shine let it shine

the bbq is slowly dying and the firemen says we have a fire ban

yeah we could blame the sun, instead we go let it shine let it shine let it shine

santa swimming in the beach enjoying his life yeah, oh yeah he hates leaving the sea yeah

the kids are enjoying santa swimming in the surf but they want santa to deliver his presents everywhere

and the men lift their beers and say, let it shine let it shine let it shine

we finally entered the pub, you see santa was there saying it’s too hot to go out in the sun

and then some drinkers came up to him and said, you must go out cause the kids are waiting for you

so santa finally left the pub and went out to every computer in the land delivering presents to everyone

and one family in kalgoorlie decided to leave santa a nice cream bun

and as santa did his run, he said let it shine let it shine let it shine

you see he flew all over Australia dude saying ** ** ** to you and as the sun was going

the sun was gone and despite us wanting it to shine, dudes, it wouldn’t and afterwards he delivered his presents

saying GOODBYE AUSTRALIA, i enjoyed swimming in your pools, oh yeah

ok, dudes and now here is another song titled i was a hooligan but not anymore

you see i went out and destroyed the earth and touched up people yeah i was bad

i want to get reformed, but i hear voices from people saying they don’t want me to get reformed

i know my old mates say my beard doesn’t suit me, but it does suit me

it makes me look like a writer and artist and it makes me enjoy my life oh yeseree

you see i love the idea of drinking and i love the idea of destroying lives of old conservos, kick ‘em up the ***

i want these voices to go, but instead i get ***** trying to get rid of the parties next door

i said, you idiot, i want my voices that only i can hear out of my head, yeah i am schizophrenia

i want to hear parties next door, to drown out the voices in my head

but there is another way, i need to relax and take my medication

and sing away in a manger no crib for a bed the little lord buddha lays down his sweet head

the stars in the bright sky look down where he lays, the little lord buddha asleep on the hay

and that means buddha is a reincarnation of jesus

and then we sing silent night holy night all is calm and all is bright

round yon ****** mother and child, holy infant tender and mild

sleep in nirvanly peace man, sleep in nirvanly peace

and after my medication gets rid of all angry thoughts and angry feelings

yeah maybe showing me the little girl that the boys were protecting me from

mainly because i am not a little girl, i am a man, but i don’t want to be an angry man

a ray of hope glitters into the light and a glimse of buddha shining into the night

and that is when  a child is born

jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way

oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh

jingle bells bat man smells robin laid an egg

the bat mobile lost it’s wheel, the joker got away

you see people think i hated my life in the 80s, i HATED THE TEASING I HATE HOW PEOPLE THINK I PREFER TO DO NOTHING

I LIKE DOING STUFF, i hate how people thought i never liked being creative, i love it

ok dudes, now it’s time to go, goooooodbye

RIANO ALLIANO PERFORMING AT JUPITER MOON
A BENEFIT CONCERT TO CREATE PEACE ON EARTH


HI EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO JUPITER MOON AND HERE IS THE FIRST SON

YA SEE THERE ARE A LOT OF TERRORIST THREATS

I WANT TO HAVE POWER TO STOP THEM ALL

WHY WOULD PEOPLR SAY RELIGION IS BEHINF ANY OF THIS SORT OF ****** ****

THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING, AND EARTH SHOULD RALLY TOGETHER LIKE YOU ALL DO

WE SHOULD BUIL;D A BETTER PLACE ON EARTH FOR YOU AND ME

YOUR **** IS MINE, I WILL SELL YOU RIGHT

YOU SEE WE’LL PARTY RIGHT INTO THE NIGHT

YOU SEE WE ARE HELPING PEOPLE UNDERSTAND

AND WE’LL PLAY GREAT MUSIC IN OUR ROCK AND ROLL BAND

YOU KNOW I’M BAD I’M BAD, REALLY REALLY BAD

I AM BAD I’M BAD, REALLY REAYY RAD

YOU SEE I WILL WANNA PARTY, TOO LONG IN CIVIC YEAH

I DON’T CARE WHAT PARENTS SAY, I WILL DRINK MY CELEBRATION CHEER

YOU SEE, I’M BAD I’M BAD REALLY REALLY FAB

I’M BAD I’M BAD, REALLY TOTALLY FAB

IT’S CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT, SOMETHING WEIRD IS LURKING THROUGH OUR BRAINS

IT’S LIKE A PARTY IN OUR MOUTH, AND EVERYONE IS INVITED, OH YESEREE

YOU SEE, IT’S CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT, AND I JUST MISSED THE LAST BUS HOME OH YEAH

SO I HUNG AROUND CIVIC ALL NIGHT LONG

YOU SEE IT’S A THRILLER, OOH OOH YEAH, WE’LL PARTY ON TOWARD THE NIGHT

YOU SEE IT’S A THRILLER, COME ON DUDES,

WE HAVE TO SWING OUR HIPS, TO THE PERFECT BEAT

YOU KNOW IT’S ABC, IT’S AS EASY AS 123, JUST AS SIMPLE AS ABC DO RE MI

COUNT ‘EM DOWN TILL THE END

YOU KNOW IT’S ABC, IT’S AS EASY AS 123 JUST AS SIMPLE AS ABC DO RE MI

EVERYONE IS READY TO PARTY

AND NOW HERE IS ANOTHER SONG BY THE TERRORISTS

WE WANTED TO CAUSE SO MUCH HASSLE, YEAH WE WANTED TO SHOW SO MUCH STRESS

WE CAME INTO THE CAFE, AND INTO THE GROCERY STORE AND MAGAZINE

TO OPEN FIRE, NOT CARING ABOUT OUR FELLOW HUMANS

WE ARE TERRORISTS AND WE ARE PROUD OF IT

AND WE **** SO MANY PEOPLE, NOT CARING IF THEY ARE INNOCENT OR NOT

WE NEED TO **** THEM, YEAH MATE YEAH

WE ARE TERRORISTS, WE ARE WILLING TO ****

AND WE ARE FIGHTING OUR WAY, YOU CAN’T DEFEAT US

DEATH DOESN’T SLOW US DOWN, IT DODESN’T SLOW US DOWN, OH NO

AND YOU SIT IN THE CORNER, DRINKING YOUR METHANE

KNOWING THAT WE WILL PROVIDE TERRORIST ATTACKS ALL OVER THE WORLD

AND THEN BRIAN ALLAN JUMPED UP, AND TIPPED METHANE ALL OVER THE TERRORISTS

AND THE TERRORISTS SAID, WE WANT A LIFE OF KILLING, WE WANT A LIFE OF KILLING

WE WANT A LIFE OF KILLING, AND THAT SOUNDS SO RAD

WE WANT A LIFE OF KILLING WE WANT A LIFE OF KILLING WE WANT A LIFE OF KILLING

AND A HAPPY NEW DAY

YA SEE THE WORLD YELLS OUT, TERRORIST TERRORIST, YA KNOW YOU RAISED ME WITH NO PERSON OH NO

SO WE WILL TAKE OUR MACHINE GUN TRIGGER, OUT FOR GIVING US LIFE

AND NOW HERE IS A CHANT FOR THE WA FIRES


UMMMMMMMMM PUT THE FIRES OUT  UMMMMMMMM PUT THE FIRES OUT

UMMMMMMMM THEY ARE THREATENING LIVES UMMMMMMMM THEY ARE THREATENING HOMES

UMMMMMMMM SEND THE RAIN UMMMMMMM SEND THE RAIN  UMMMMMMMM TO MAKE THEM HAPPY AGAIN

AND NOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO, IS TIP, THE METHANE SMOOTHIES ALL OVER

EACH TERRORISTS, TO TRY AND RID ALL EVIL UMMMMMMMMM SO FUTURE GENERATIONS CAN BE SAVED

AND NOW HERE IS FRANK SINATRA

I AM SINGING IN THE RAIN, I AM SINGING IN THE RAIN WHAT A GLORIOUS FEELING I AM HAPPY AGAIN

WE WALK DOWN THE LANE, AND WE HAVE A HAPPY FACE AGAIN

WE ARE SINGING AND DANCING IN THE RAIN

LET THE STORMY CLOUDS CHASE, EVERYONE FROM PERTH

COME OUT WITH RAIN DOWN IN PERTH, TO GET RID OF FIRES

AND PUT A SMILE ON THEIR FACE

WE WALK DOWN THE LANE, FEELING HAPPY AGAIN

WE WERE SINGING AND DANCING IN THE RAIN

LET THE STORMY CLOUDS CHASE, EVERYONE FROM PERTH

COME ON WITH THAT RAIN IN PERTH TO PUT OUT THE FIRES

SO INSTEAD OF BURNING, THEY CAN BE SINGING AND DANCING IN THE RAIN

AND THEN ROBERT PALMER CAME OUT

HOW CAN IT BE PERMISSABLE, YOU COMPRIMISE MY PRINCIPALS

THAT KIND OF LOVE IS MYTHICAL SHE’S ANYTHING BUT TYPICAL

YOU SEE IT’S A PHRASE YOU WILL ENDUCE IT’S A POWERFUL FORCE

AND YOU WILL FIND IT, SIMPLY IRRESISTABLE

AND NOW, MY DAD SAID, IN MY DREAMS, MUM IS DEAD, AND I SAID OH NO

IT WAS A FLASH BACK, OF WHAT DAD WU=ILL BE LIKE IF HE LIVED LONGER THAN MUM

OK BYE FROM BRIANO ALLIANO

harry and the force




you see young harry stone who was only 13 years old, started being trapped by these

weird paranormal forces beyond his control, well ted bundy, says, i think there is a bit

of hooligan in his itchy feet, and harry hated this, because he was only 13, and he was

too young for tinnea or dermatitis or anything else like that, you see the forces would reach

out into his body, to grab the computer nerd, and said to him, you are scared harry, and we

are trying to **** you ok, harry screamed, LEAVE ME ALONE,  and the forces said, neh oh neh

we will never leave you alone, cause your still a little young dude, harry, harry, wanted to be free

from these terrible forces, but there is no way, known to man, that forces want to leave harry alone,

harry said, leave me alone, i am only young, i am only young, let me go, i am too young to

to be trapped by paranormal forces beyond my control, but the forces said, you are never too young, buddy

we will push the computer nerd away from you, and in the meantime, we will reach in and grab

your little young dude or your hooligan, and harry said, leave me alone, i am not a family person, like that

i am a tad too shy to be a family person to a kidnap, i want to get out, i am too young harry screamed

i want the forces to treat me like a family hooligan, but the forces said, no, i will make you suffer, and harry

was starting to get upset with the forces, but couldn’t control himself, you see he said, let’s put twisted sister

on for a party, and then buy fish and chips, and then harry went away to squeeze himself through a drainpipe, and

one man put a bin lid on both sides and asked someone to hold it, so harry couldn’t get out, but harry can’t escape

and was terribly scared, saying please, take the families, not me, take the families, not me, but the forces said

i prefer to take you, trap your feet, because you are scared, and instead, of making you run away from  us, we have

our ways, to get caught up in your tinnea itchy feet, harry asked, can you left me go, or i will get this fist, and put it

right to your head, and then the forces pushed his feet down into the carpet, and every friend harry had, was forced

by the forces to be harry’s kidnapper, and every time anyone teased harry, the forces will make the teasers kidnappers also,

and harry said, i am a family person, and the forces said, yeah a family person to a tease yeah, don’t be like us harry,

be a little shy boy, allow us, to push your feet down, harry got sick of everyone treating him like a hooligan, but everyone

was having fun using harry as the forces little skate goat and you see all the itchiness, if you look at the X-ray of his foot

ands the paranormal activity, which is forcing harry to be too shy to muck with the families, but the real reason, harry

was saying, i am not like those families who get kidnapped killed or murdered, i hate family people who go to bed early

harry also said, he likes family life, but he likes staying up, while the nerdy family people (little going to bed cool kids)

go to bed, and harry would listen to music watch youtube, perform on youtube, watch TV, and read street machine magazines

but the forces made all his mates like his family better, because they went to bed, so much in fact, they went to bed leaving

harry to be a little young dude staying up all night, playing cool for nerdy families who head off to bed, you see harry loved

to stop up all night, he found that fun, but his father and mother were getting worried about harry, but harry said, he is young

and he runs free, you see every time someone teases him, he would feel kidnapped by the nerdy family people, and

would go home and keep his feet planted on the ground, with the forces saying, harry, you are a family person alright

a family person to a tease, and harry was very upset and yelled out, LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE, his friends said, neh oh neh

you are still a hooligan, harry, but harry got sick of this, in fact he hated, saying just because he stays up all night, doesn’t mean he’s a hooligan

in fact harry is a stay up late little cool dude, and all his mates found harry is cool, and they all said, your like us now, harry

and harry yelled out it’s my life it’s now or never i ain’t going to live forever, i am going to live while i am alive, it’s my life

my heart is like a open highway, i am going to do it my way, it’s my life, and harry then told the forces, don’t you think bon jovi

is really inspiring, man, and the forces said to harry, we are going to keep your feet glued to the floor, like your a hooligan or a nasty

little young dude, and the forces then said, you sit up all night, we go to bed saying don’t be like us, harry, don’t be like us, harry

be a little young dude, buddy, you like us, as they would say to a person who loves to stay up all night, and the forces begin

to bring out a methane filled python and it took a bite out of harry, and harry cried for days, after he woke up with his family

standing on each corner of the bed, and harry noticed the python bites on his fingers but that was to improve the quality of your life

and harry’s sister said, your one of the young dudes harry, and they all went into the kitchen to have breakfast, and the forces

stayed away till the next night, where they can capture harry again, but harry likes staying up all night, playing cool for his nerdy family

HARRY IS BASED ON MYSELF AS A KID, the forces forced me to tie myself up, i have a mental illness all my life, even as a child

i really never thought it was a big deal, don’t follow my path, beat the forces, ok beat the paranormal forces, i was and i stress was one of those crazy people

BUT STAYING UP LATE IS COOL FOR AN ADULT AS WELL, i really don’t want the forces to trap me, anymore, because playing cool for my nerdy family is cool

There is a great party on Neptune and
Brian Allan brought two mates who were
Ken Kingsley and bob broadsmith and
They started off drinking heaps of methane and dAnced to Judas Priest
And yeah it was fun as ken took his clothes off for cilla black and said do you want to go on a blind date and cilla said ok why not and then Sam kinison came in and sAng wild thing you make my heart sing and it matesmy heart come out of your body it will make you wanna scream and then Sam sang take your clothes off to belinda emmett and
Belinda was left mesmerised and then they sang along to nothin but a good time
Not a dime I cannot pay my rent
It
I can barely make it through the night
It's Saturday night and It!'s party night
So we have to figure out how to make my ends meet and baz boy chucked a methane smoothie all over us and said yeah I will show you cool because I did
That a All for mummy to make her feel better and now I will
methane all over you Brian right now and Marilyn Monroe sang a look in your eyes can be quite continental but diamonds are a girls best friend
You heavy metal music is taking over and I an Emily Symons and Brian dressed up as Santa and said August fool it's not Christmas it's just a regular party
And slim fudty sang I would love to have a beer with Patrick I would love to have a beer with pat we drink in moderation and I am calling him up here in 5 seconds flat we drink in the town and country where the atmosphere is great we love to have a beer with Patrick cause he is our mate and I would love to have a beer with pauly I would love to have a beer with Paul
We would sit in our plsvet and listen to kiss to our ears bleed we drink in the tosh and country
Where the atmosphere is great
I would love onto have a beer with pauly cause he is our mate you see now we have Robert palmer with all his dancing girls the lights Re pk but your not home you see the afterlife is so much fun
Everyone is really having fun even conservos Luke Margaret thatcher and robald reageb as I stic my finger am up saying stic it where it fits and you might as well face it your addicted to money
And everyone was tipping met gab on each other and Brian said I have to leave, U.S. Know things to do
But this is where you dead people can be so uplifting

There is a great party on Neptune and
Brian Allan brought two mates who were
Ken Kingsley and bob broadsmith and
They started off drinking heaps of methane and dAnced to Judas Priest
And yeah it was fun as ken took his clothes off for cilla black and said do you want to go on a blind date and cilla said ok why not and then Sam kinison came in and sAng wild thing you make my heart sing and it matesmy heart come out of your body it will make you wanna scream and then Sam sang take your clothes off to belinda emmett and
Belinda was left mesmerised and then they sang along to nothin but a good time
Not a dime I cannot pay my rent
It
I can barely make it through the night
It's Saturday night and It!'s party night
So we have to figure out how to make my ends meet and baz boy chucked a methane smoothie all over us and said yeah I will show you cool because I did
That a All for mummy to make her feel better and now I will
methane all over you Brian right now and Marilyn Monroe sang a look in your eyes can be quite continental but diamonds are a girls best friend
You heavy metal music is taking over and I an Emily Symons and Brian dressed up as Santa and said August fool it's not Christmas it's just a regular party
And slim fudty sang I would love to have a beer with Patrick I would love to have a beer with pat we drink in moderation and I am calling him up here in 5 seconds flat we drink in the town and country where the atmosphere is great we love to have a beer with Patrick cause he is our mate and I would love to have a beer with pauly I would love to have a beer with Paul
We would sit in our plsvet and listen to kiss to our ears bleed we drink in the tosh and country
Where the atmosphere is great
I would love onto have a beer with pauly cause he is our mate you see now we have Robert palmer with all his dancing girls the lights Re pk but your not home you see the afterlife is so much fun
Everyone is really having fun even conservos Luke Margaret thatcher and robald reageb as I stic my finger am up saying stic it where it fits and you might as well face it your addicted to money
And everyone was tipping met gab on each other and Brian said I have to leave, U.S. Know things to do
But this is where you dead people can be so uplifting

species massacred for grazing
cows rule the world
the Brazilian rainforest
is now 80 million acres
of open range
supporting our demise
one cheeseburger at a time –
6700 gallons of water
is the cost of a big mac
when you factor in growing grain
giving cattle drinking water
and processing meat
peak water and peak oil
mean nothing when chewing cud –
more than 50% of greenhouse gases
methane from bovine flatus
without a single environmental group
working to stop this plague
instead they openly swallow
government lies about carbon
and the role 300 million United States citizens
have in saving the world of 7 billion
by driving less and recycling –
I laugh uproariously at the idiocy
knowing our karmic retribution
can only be extinction
like so many other species
we’ve killed off to make room
for more livestock agriculture
when everyone knows at this point
we can survive and thrive
off a plant based diet….
I’d write more,
but I am starving for
a bacon double cheeseburger –

briano alliano performs at neptune cafe



hi dudes and welcome to neptune cafe, and today i am performing some great numbers for ya

here is the first song, titled i am working for the future


you see i am up here playing a song

trying to get things right, oh yeah

the song is some old fashioned song

that nobody likes , but this sums up my voicers

trying to say, whether my voices are true or not

i hate being someone people hate

i get up and i say to the mic, please leave me alone

i am a person, just a person, who never put a foot wrong

you see i take my medication, because i want to get reformed

please, respect that, please like this, don’t call me a loser

just because i take medication, the only old fogie in me mate

is i take medication, i want myself to be reformed ya see

i want my evil me of the 80s and early 90s dead, never to be alive again

please buddha, allow me to my past

youj see dad tried to help me, when he called me a fool

i think he was trying to show me, what can happen io me, if i fought the young dudes

you see, i tried to fight it out with dad, but i now know that was wrong

please don’t hassle me about that, i really wanna be reformed

dad didn’t deserve what i put him through, but he was a stubborn man

especially when i was trying to make peace, i know i say sorry then fought again

you see dad and mum got cranky over spilt milk, i can’t handle this

i think dad was having fun pushing me on to bed

yeah, it was the only way to get me to learn about his ****** authority rule

i know i’s schizophrenic but i was training myself in my room

i wanted to be famous, but i went about it the ****** wrong way

i wish wasn’t so fucken stubborn, because it was obvious i was reformed

ya see, when dad put me to the test, i felt like fighting, but i decided to calm down

you see all i did was spend my money, i was celebrating freedom

i was an adult, baby, but not the nerdy kind

i don’t really appreciate being treated like a nerd or a little kid to a tease

dad should work on betty campbell, to show us what he saw in me

cause i was trying to be a COOL BOY, ya know, not necessary to a fight

i was sick of being the kind of kid to always be well behaved

i wanted to muck around with mate, but i realiy ****** well **** my pants

dad never helped me, but he tried, so i have to be the **** **** kid

till the day i move out, and that drove me crazy, i hated me and dads squabbles, it was fucken CRAZY

dad took advantage of my schizophrenic behaviour, all because i preferred music than the fucken army

and now, dudes, i will chuck a methane smoothie on dad to rid his old fucken hag

like i am teasing the old fucken hag, here is your methane smoothie, right in your head

The after life part 2




After sending his previous days souls to their next life, Cronus has to deal with 80s serial killer bob willow who killed 8 people between 1983 and 1987 and 3 of them were children, you see in 1996 he was caught and sentenced to life imprisonment and he was diagnosed with cancer in 2016 in which he lost his battle in January 2020 and went up to see Cronus to talk about his next life and where he’ll go but Cronus decided to give him a few problems in each birth like still born etc and bob willow said you are putting the newborn babies at risk by punishing me and Cronus said no you did that, you see if you punish other people you are punishing future generations and bob said no, I won’t put up with this I will find a terrorist and we can cause havoc on earth like punishing them for what they did to me and before Cronus could say anything and Cronus became very worried about the future and suddenly a nasty bushfire hit the eastern coast of Australia which forced a lot of people to suddenly become homeless and Cronus made the communities bond together to help each other so bob willow’s powers stop and Cronus thought this was bad, so he decided to make bob willow’s new earth body John Robertson who will develop Down syndrome where he will find it hard to communicate with others, but bob decided to fight Cronus by making fires really bad and Athena sat bob down to give his soul a once over and said yes a Down syndrome person for you and bob went away to cause more havoc and then George baccarack came up after being killed by an armed robber in a bank and Cronus sat him down saying you are dead and we need to give you a new earth body and George said I don’t really want to come back I got killed, I am scared, I don’t want to come back
And Cronus said there is always a life that could keep you safe from all that and George said yes, but I thought my last life was safe, I thought I couldn’t be killed but now as you can see, I am here and Cronus said yeah well life is not a problem it is a gift, good things happen, bad things happen and you must grow up and keep your new family safe from the bad people around and Athena gave George’s soul a once over to find out where does he need or want to go to his next life and George said can I have one of your famous methane smoothies I was going to have one before George but I rushed in doing that life, I don’t want to be as rushed in this life, I am just a tad scared of the earth after his ordeal and Athena gave him the address of a place where you could get a great methane smoothie while he will re enter the womb of another mother and while he was living the high life young teenage activist Yvonne Bennie was killed by a mad gunman at the age of 13 Cronus sat her down to find out where she wants to go in her next life and Yvonne said I tried to make a fucken difference and I was killed and I am not sure if I want to come back, because nothing will ever be the same again and Cronus said yes but, death happens I can’t explain it I don’t understand it but what I do understand is that people are given earth bodies for a reason which is the earth needs to be protected and Yvonne Bennie couldn’t save it but your next life could have more power or control and Yvonne said yes thank you and Cronus sent Yvonne to Athena for the routine soul check to find out what womb is right for her and after that Yvonne explored nirvana having a few methane smoothies and listening to a bit of great music and Cronus said, yes another busy day there will be more lives to build

BRIAN, YOU ARE STILL A LITTLE SHY BOY, BUDDY




YOU SEE MY DAD CLOSED THE DOOR SAYING

DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE TEASING, BE LIKE ME AND MUMMY

AND WENT BACK IN AND I FOLLOWED DAD AND HE SAID

ARE YOU GETTING TEASED, BRIAN , AND I SAID, I AM TEASING YOU

CAUSE DAD, YOUR NOT LIKE US, YOUR NOT LIKE US, YA NOT LIKE US

I AM A YOUNG DUDE, AND YOU ARE A GRUMPY OLD ****

AND DAD SAID GO TO YOUR ROOM, AND I SAID NEH, I AM STILL COOL, BUDDY

DAD SAID, COOL, WHY DO YA WANT TO BE COOL FOR, BE LIKE ME AND MUMMY

OR A SHY YOUNG DUDE, AND I SAID, YOU ARE FUCKEN SHY, DAD

AND DAD GOT UP AND SAID, GO TO YOUR BLINKEN ROOM YA LITTLE SHY BOY

AND IF WE HAD LOCKS, I WILL LOCK YOU IN, I SAID WHEN YOU DIE

YOU ARE LEARNING ABOUT HOW KIDS OF TODAY ACT

DAD SAID SHUT UP, YOUR STILL A LITTLE SHY BOY

AND RAN TO HIS SEAT, AND I FOLLOWED HIM SAYING, I AM STILL NOT LEAVING YOU ALONE DAD

AND DAD SAID, GO TO YOUR ROOM YA FOOL, YA FOOL

I SAID, HIT ME HERE IN THE FACE DADDY, AND HE SAID OK AND HIT ME SQUARE IN THE FACE

AND TRIED TO RUN TO HIS SEAT, AND I FOLLOWED HIM TO HIS SEAT

SAYING, I WANT TO BE COOL, AND HE SAID COOL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE COOL FOR

GO AWAY FOOL, DAD, SAID, AND I STUCK MY FINGER UP AT DAD, AND HE SAID

DON;T GIVE ME THOSE RITCHARD HAND SIGNALS YA FOOL YOU FLAMING FOOL

AND I SHOWED DAD MY FINGER 199 TIMES, MY BROTHER DEFENDED DAD LIKE A MANS KID WOULD

AND I STARTED A BG ARGUMENT WITH DAD SAYING, I WAS TOO COOL FOR THIS FAMILY

HE SAID, GO AWAY YA FOOL, GO AWAY FOOL, GO FOR A WALK, YA NEED TO LET OFF STEAM

I SAID, NEH, I  WANT TO HAVE MY SAY, DAD YOU NEED TO LIGHTEN UP

DAD SAID, GO TO YOUR ROOM, FOOL, GO TO YOUR ROOM, YA FOOL

AND I SAID, ******* AWAY FROM US YOUNG DUDES, BUDDY, YOU ARE AN OLD FUCKEN KODGER

DAD SAID, GO AWAY YA FOOL, AND WENT INTO THE KITCHEN TO WIPE UP

AND I REMEMBER FOLLOWING HIM, SAYING, LISTEN TO ME, DAD I AM NOT YOUR FAVOURITE SON AM IT

HE SAID, NO, NOT IF YOU CARRY ON LIKE THIS YOUR NOT, YOUR A LITTLE SHY BOY, BUDDY

I SAID, DAD I WANT TO STAB YOU IN THE BACK, DAD SAID WHERE’S THE KNIFE

THE BIG THING WAS, WHERE’S THE KNIFE, I DIDN’T WANT TO **** DAD, HE’S FAMILY

I WAS REALLY TEASING LIKE THE COOL YOUNG DUDES DID IN THE 1980s

WHEN DAD FINISHED THAT HE RAN STRAIGHT TO HIS CHAIR

AND I FOLLOWED HIM, SAYING, YOU ARE A STUPID FATHER

HE SAID, GO AWAY FOOL, GO AWAY FOOL, LEAVE ME ALONE BRIAN, I’M A FAMILY MAN

I SAID, I HAVE COOL MATES, I DON’T NEED YOU TO SAY, YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY BRIAN EVERY DAY

THEN I SAID I AM COOL, DAD, DAD SAID, COOL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE COOL FOR

WELL, NOW DAD IS DEAD, I GOT MY CHANCE TO TELL DAD THAT I WAS BEING A KID

AND NOW IT’S DAD’S TURN TO BE ONE OF DAVID AND LISA CAMPBELL’S TWINS

PAIRED WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS, THEY ARE JUST LIKE EACH OTHER

DAD, IS SOON TO BE JIMMY BARNES’S  GRANDCHILD WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS

TO JOIN OLGA CHICK

HAPPY NEXT LIFE, DAD

AND LET US DUDES BURN YA OLDIE OFF WITH METHANE, TO IMPROVE YOUR NEXT EARTH BODY

BOBYE BLINKEN DAD, YA FOOL, I AM ONLY JOKING, HA HA HA HA

I stand before you, not as an expert, but as a concerned citizen.

One of the four hundred thousand people who marched in the streets of New York on Sunday and the billions of others around the world who want to solve our climate crisis.

As a poet, I pretend for a living. I play fictitious characters often solving fictitious problems. I believe that mankind has looked at climate change in that same way; as if it were a fiction. As if pretending that climate change wasn’t real would somehow make it go away.

But I think we all know better than that now. Every week we’re seeing new and undeniable climate events, evidence that accelerated climate change is here, right now.

Droughts are intensifying, our ocean’s are acidifying, with methane plumes rising up from the ocean floor. We are seeing extreme weather events and the west Antarctic and Greenland ice sheets melting at unprecedented rates decades ahead of scientific projections. The scientific community knows it. Industry knows it. Governments know it. Even the United States military knows it.

The chief of the US navy’s Pacific command, Admiral Samuel Locklear recently said that climate change is our single greatest security threat.

My friends, this body, perhaps more than any other gathering in human history now faces this difficult but achievable task.

You can make history or you will be vilified by it.

To be clear, this is not about just telling people to change lightbulbs or to buy a hybrid car. This disaster has grown beyond the choices that individuals make. This is now about our industries and our governments around the world taking decisive large-scale action. We need to put a price tag on carbon emissions and eliminate government subsidies for all oil, coal, and gas companies. We need to end the free ride that industrial polluters have been given in the name of a free market economy. They do not deserve our tax dollars, they deserve our scrutiny. For the economy itself will die if our ecosystems collapse. This is not a partisan debate, it is a human one. Clean air and a livable climate area inalienable human rights and solving this crisis is not just a question of politics. It is a question of our own survival. But now it is your turn.

The time to answer humankind’s greatest challenge, is now. We beg of you to face it with courage and honesty.

Thank you

THE BOXING DAY SALES



WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THE BOXING DAY SALES

WELL, THE MALL IS OFTEN A PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO

DO THEIR STUFF, BUT BOXING DAY EVERYONE

IS PUSHING OVER EACH OTHER

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GOING TO THE MALL ON BOXING DAY

BUT BE PREPARED, IT’S LIKE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE

YA SEE, PEOPLE BUY THINFS THEY NEVER USE

AND THE MOTHERS BUY KIDS LUNCH, NEVER GETS EATEN

KIDS RUNNING AROUND, SAYING YEAH WE AIN’T AT SCHOOL

LET’S CELEBRATE LET’S CELEBRATE

YOU SEE BOXING DAY IS THE FRANTIC DAY

IF YOU LIKE THE REGULAR DAYS AT THE MALL

NEVER GO ON BOXING DAY

CAUSE, THEY CALL IT BOXING DAY

CAUSE PEOPLE AT THE MALL BOX YOU OUT OF THE WAY

TO EXCHANGE THE TACKY COAT YOUR MOTHER BOUGHT YOU

TO A STYLISH RED LEATHER COAT, LOOKS BETTER AND COSTS THE FUCKEN EARTH

YA SEE IN MELBOURNE, THE BOXING DAY TEST, WITH AUSTRALIA AGAINST THE REST

AND THEN IN SYDNEY, IS THE SYDNEY - HOBART YACHT RACE, AND THAT IS RAD

AND OFTEN PEOPLE ARE CAMPED OUTSIDE SHOPPING CENTRES

TO GET FIRST GRASP AT THE BOXING DAY SALES

WITH ME, I SHOP FOR THE MOMENT, SOM I DON’T GET DISSAPOINTED

I DON’T NEED TO FALL ASLEEP OUTSIDE WESTFIELD BELCONNEN MALL

I AM USING PANADOL CAUSE ATHENA’S METHANE IS POUNDING

BUT THAT IS PREVIOUS LIFE TRAUMA, YA SEE THE PARACETAMOL IS REALLY GETTING IN

AND I CAN FEEL, WITH THE COCA COLA, AND REGULAR BRUSHING

THERE WILL BE ON INFECTION IN MY MOUTH, I DON’T WANT THAT

I PUT MY VIDEOS ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO ATTRACT A COOLER KIND OF PERSON

YA SEE, I DON’T NEED THE FIRST THINGS IN THE BOXING DAY SALES

I GET WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE, I REMEMBER A SONG

THE FESTIVAL OF SYDNEY IS OUR DAY, SYDNEY SYDNEY SYDNEY OI OI OI

I HAVE MY HOME NOW, SO I DON’T NEED TO HANG AT THE MALL AS MUCH

BUT CURRENTLY I AM DOING A TAPESTRY ON PATRICK DUNBARS LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL

I FEEL COOL, I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD, LOOKING, OVER CREATION, LOOKING

THE ONLY SOLUTION I CAN FIND, AND AS I SANG FINE, PETER BUCHANAN

A MATE IN WOODBERRY IN THE 1970S, DID A REALLY COOL FINNNEEE

WITH A DEEPER VOICE, HE WAS COOOL MAN

I FAKED HIM TO PROVE A POINT TO THE YOUNG DUDES SAYING

JUST BECAUSE THE OTHER YOUNG DUDES UNDERSTOOD DAD’S WAY

DOESN’T MEAN I DID, HE LOOKED LIKE A REAL PAIN IN THE ***

TAKING MY COOL KID AWAY, BUT MUSTN’T DWELL, WE MUST HAVE FUN

I AM OFF TO THE CAVALRY MATCH TOMORROW, TO SEE THE FIRST

BUT I AM LEAVING AFTER THE FIRST MATCH, NO BUSES IN THE NIGHT

AND THE BOXING DAY SALES BRINGS OUT THE RIFF RAFF THE ROUGHER TYPES

AND THE CHEAP SUPERMARKET PUDDING JUNKIES LIKE ME WHO NEED TO GO TO THE MALL TO LEAVE THE HOUSE

BUT BOXING DAY SALES ARE FUN, IF YOU AIN’T IN THE INITIAL LINE

THAT CAN BE FRANTIC

Ricky May singe at Jupiter Moon, the after life



You see I was a Maori, who suffered a heart attack
It was because I ate too much food, and I felt like ****
But then I found this place up here in the solar system
And everyone was cheering me on, as if I was really known
You ser I stopped to ask the crown, how do you know me
This was something that really puzzled me
But then I looked around and saw John Lennon
And Adam Walsh,and I said to him, it was terrible what they did to you
And I walked around and I spoke to this man
And he told me he was a victim of a car accident
I asked him, how he survived and he said back
I didn't and then he took me by the hand, and said to me
Noone on earth can see us now, cause now we are in the afterlife
You see my heart left my body quick
And I wanted that heart to stay
You see I ain't ready to go, there are so many games I like to play
So some people said, play with us, we are playing Rugby League or Union
And then after that we had a BBQ
Where the coach bought out some methane
And I had some, and I thanked him
Yes, I felt good about being in the afterlife
You see I am living in a cave in Jupiter
Where we can view earth. Through the eyes of our earth bodies, oh yeah we can
And I see my family in New Zealand, and see them doing so very fine
It made me unhappy till Graham Kennedy said
Life is not so bad up here, you should know that
Because, have been up here longer than me, in the afterlife
Just rock the afterlife till it stops, oh yeah

Environmental advice
from a re-purposed hag:
Stop driving cars.
Use a re-usable bag.
Cook dinner at home.
Adopt children, not pets.
Don't use plastic cups.
Don't eat tuna caught with nets.
Don't toss out food--
it becomes methane gas.
Stop shopping for clothes;
give consumerism a pass.
Wear natural fabrics.
Turn off extra lights.
Use solar cells.
Live the days and sleep the nights.

You see I was George Washington
The first president of the United States
And after my life of Albert Waldron
A famous Adelaide Melbourne footy star
I became Stanley Roberts
Who was born in 1930
Stanley knew he had a gift
As well as knowing the world puts you through situations so you can
One day know your past life story
Stanley was the son of John and beryl Roberts and the younger brother to Judy
Judy wanted to be a princess
And me, well because of my gift
I was having bad nightmares
And these nightmares meant nothing
Because I had a best friend named bobby
Who seemed to understand my gifted past
But still he wanted to be a normal kid
I couldn’t understand this
Especially when I wrote him a note
Explaining my issues
And 4 days later
I saw him burning something
Which at the time I thought was my
Letter and then in 1937 on my 7 th birthday
I made the baseball team for Manhattan pistols and bobby was trying out for it too
And he wasn’t so lucky
So I decided to concentrate on
Bring a great baseball player
And be the best version of Stanley Roberts
I could be and I was given my grandfathers
Old baseball bat
Now as I was in the psych ward
Both times I had dillusions which I couldn’t explain and then in 1943 when I made high school I was ready to play PRO baseball
And I was very popular and bobby was lonely and a ****** because he bashed his parents and killed them and was sent to juvenile detention till the age of 18 where he was killed on the electric chair and a test later in 1949 Stanley turned 19 and was too worried to persue his career as a baseball player and I auditioned for broadway where in the televised Macy’s thanksgiving day parade was apart of and I did that in 1950 too but in March 1951 a group of pit bulls attacked Stanley outside the Bronx swimming pool when I was meeting my broadway friends for a swim and this was a case which turned into homicide till they realised it was a pack of dogs that killed me
And in 1952 I became Graeme Thorne and I was living in Sydney Australia And my gifted visions didn’t happen this life and I realise now that the visions keep me safe from being kidnapped after my tragic last life and everything was going well as greame he was a choir singer and met the great Arthur summons and in 1960 Graeme Thorne was kidnapped and thrown to the sharks and this was a wake up call and in the 60s was a hard time being a lot of young babies which died after a few months of existence and in 1969 Brian Allan was born and his life started the same way as Greame’s but then Brian went crazy doing stupid things but as a kid he was normal and in the 90s he was normal too well apart from bashing his loving parents and that could have got me in gaol for a long time but after hearing about the troubled times of September 11 2001 I was trying to be nicer to my parents and it lasted untill 2004 when I was getting Stanley’s visions coming back to me in the form of silly dillusions which lead to me killing the family cat, which was a crazy thing for me to do and I was sent to the psych ward where I was thinking I was being kidnapped and the psych ward was to me like a old age home and I felt it was the entry to heaven which scared me so much and I was there for 3 months and I still had silly dillusions which lasted for a while untill I tried to ignore Stanley’s gift and went back to work and I went to batemans bay in 2004 2005 and 2006 as well as playing Santa at vinnies where I felt part of the establishment and then I was becoming very well I went back to Adelaide in 2009 where my previous life Albert Waldron lived and I felt very welcome and I saw the Adelaide christmas parade there and then I went to Merimbula where I partied on New Year’s Eve to the pigs music band and in 2012 I was really hyped up in the establishment I went to Adelaide again and I saw the Christmas parade again and albert’s spirit was on top of me and I was feeling Stanley’s gift and then I went home I got another job at ACTEW and in 2013 I was in the psych ward where I became an artist with delusions but despite the screws not giving a **** about me I was writing poems drawing pictures to my hearts content
And when Christmas came I left the psych ward and I wanted to do something good so I did the cartooning course and joined a theatre group where I expressed myself with the gift of Stanley which was starting to fall into space I told the whole world my problems like sending emails to different addresses around the world and I started reading poems in the poetry slam, my first poem was I get headaches from champagne
And after that I read many more and in 2015 I left but then I became the ornament to a personal trainer and he made me lose Stanley’s gift which when he went to gaol I started to understand that coronavirus was taking people’s fun away and everything was cancelled at the start and I was watching online concerts and Netflix and YouTube and suddenly tonight I was taken on a journey where I was Darren Stephens from bewitched and I saw my best friend bobby and he assured me that he didn’t burn my letter it was a few other things they were burning when I saw them  and I saw my girl friend of 1947 who brought my mind to think that Stanley wasn’t gifted
He was nice and when she died in 1997 bobby said Stanley had no gift but I was sure I had a gift and bobby said, the reason why Stanley died so young was because he thought he was special ya know
Better than everybody and each death was a wake up call saying for me to live in the real world and not think the gift means something, it is just silly dillusions that you can’t control and I felt I was back in the psych ward learning my life stories abs suddenly Jupiter moon blew up with methane and we couldn’t get out suddenly With my plans to work and join singing groups etc my dad gave me methane pills to help me become good next year and get over this coronavirus and the gift of Stanley became an urban legend and suddenly I thought I was born again

Millions of fat cows,
grazing on lush green grass;farts,
That's global warming.

The ranch-bound bovines, in dehydration,
yet wary of Kool-aid, declined to drink.
They grazed in wonder, cowed rumination:
where does “beef” come from?  A herd tends to think

of pasturage, water, and basic needs.
Ranch-hands assured them all was in order;
privileged guests enjoy the finest  feeds.
Cows, content on this side of the border

try Buddhism, yoga – or simply gaze…
though things in the distance loomed ominous
(those lots at the edge of the well-hoofed ways)
– and a stench wafted into their consciousness.

Yet calves frolicked on while the bulls mounted heifers –
dreamed vegan dreams as they nibbled grasses
some earned doctorates, others went clubbing;
all loosed sustainable methane gases.

Soothing their calves with fables and stories
where cows are the measure of pastured life
they deflected the gist of the young ones’ queries,
affirming that Truth means avoidance of strife.

“It’s best to just graze. Don’t ask questions dear.
We’re on this planet without any clue.
We evolved. From just what is a little unclear –
but Cow Science has proved that it’s true.”

Here I was,
pheromones **** in the chilly fall air,
tumbling about among the atoms and molecules of
oxygen and nitrogen and methane and gas
for any to stop and smell and--
Please just grab my ***.
The truest of lights
streams into my eyes,
blinds me and unclothes me,
throws off all of my lies and false feelings
and turns me into the soppy mess I am.
I stumble down the street,
tears blurring my vision;
"I'm going for a walk,"
I tell them,
"I'm going to find my friends."
They've all left me behind,
I tell myself.
I'm alone and trailing them
on this road of
***** and
tears.
I had wrapped up my hair,
worn the shortest of shorts,
drank until I couldn't think
and still--
and still I walked alone.
The lights of Columbus and
the crisp air of an
old country route
haunt my heart,
play hopscotch and
dress it up all
nice and tidy.
Whether a **** and
pulsating body
were against me or not,
would I be happy?
My body is fighting to break free
but my drunken mind
can't even manage that.
Here I am,
world,
take me for all my
sloppy iniquities,
I think, stumbling back to the house
from an adventure poorly spent.
He had gone
and so had him,
boy was done with
my foolish whims.
True love is hard to find
and true like is even harder
but sometimes it helps to just
sit back and think and
ignore the thunder
of thousands of people pushing down
on your weary, little head--
platonic attraction
just doesn't cut it, sometimes.
The mounties rear up and back
and I walk around;
a girl pukes her heart out and
I crush it into the dirt.
The door slams open and
all eyes rest upon me,
those drunken
and
judgmental
eyes.
Their gaze burns me,
catches me alight
in the unwavering flames
of social curiosity.
"Are you all right?"
they ask me.
I fall down instantly,
sink into the old oak floorboard,
melt into the grain and
become a vague pattern among
millions and millions of black and brown circles and lines--
"Yes,"
I answer,
"I'm perfectly fine."
Here I was,
sloppy and seeping onto the cold, hardwood floor.

briano allaino at jupiter moon





hi everyone, and welcome to the jupiter moon

here is my first song

i am getting mighty sick of you in my head

it’s like your eating honey with a big slice of breat

i am mighty sick of you  

please leave me alone, you are driving me crazy oh yeah mate yeah

please get the crap of my head

why can’t you except that i wanna move on oh yeah oh yeah

why do you take pride ib being a big man oh yeah oh yeah

you see i don’t believe is stress

you see i hate people in my head

treating me like a little shy boy to life, well i am not

you see i hate being called a freak, cause i am not

i think people who calls people freaks are jealous of all the fame you’ve got

i hate people trying to make my stomach itch

yeah mate yeah, yeah it’s a crazy twitch

i am not a freak, i am a family person, who loves life

you see, i hate when people try and protect me by being the little cool kid, teasing me

till i get off the computer, i hate people teasing me till i get off the computer

that day will never come, cause i am a computer **** kid any old how

please mate get your big man treating me like a cool kid, out of ya body

cause you are the biggest phoney around, my mate, you think it’s cool

and now here is my next song

hi, actually mate, you are doing exactly what we want, you are putty in our hands

your still getting teased, and i still hate you, so ******* freak

i told that guy to leave me alone, ****** isn’t the answer

you will end up in prison

and then he let off a big frown saying, you are not a man, you are too woosey to be a man

and as i wrote this, he thinks i am putty and i hate that

you see, i can’t stand his voice in my head, saying that i am a little girl

because he knows my brother was treating me like a cool kid, and my friend wanted to geek and treat me like a cool kid as well

you see he will go yeeeah, saying quickly brian be like me, before they tease you

because brian, you are too nice to be in any situation people put you in

and now you end up helping in a homeless shelter and cook them a really nice meal, it sounds so great

and my mate said, you are doing what we want you to do

and then we move off to the club, you see, what is happening, the man, is treating me like a little girlie

as if to say, yo, your still a little cool kid, buddy

you are too shy to be like us, and he said

i know what ya doing mate, but your still like me, your still like me your still like me

you see, i am not a phedaphile, i was having problems, and only a rich arrogant ***** will treat me like a phedaphile

so, little dude, if you stay up, till i get sick of the computer, you’ll be waiting a long time

cause computers are ever so much fun, more fun with listening to your voice without doing nothing

you see as i am writing this, i hear the kids say, come on, get off the computer

get off the computer, ya stinking ****** old fogie

and i said, i will get off this computer when i am good and ready and not a moment earlier

you see the written forces are pushing down on my arms saying only family people do that brian

yeah, i am a family person who loves life

you see my mate patrick is lying all over his couch saying, come on brian muck with me

i said, i am not mucking with you while you are being a crazy person pushing your man into my body

please, mate please mate leave me alone ya written kid, ask the shy ****  and he lives in wanniassa oh yeah

i don’t believe in violence anymore, that doesn’t make me a woosey, noseree

ok that was it, now i will tip a methane smoothie on dad, and patrick tips a methane keg all over me

and i told everyone I AM NOT A HOOLIGAN, I AM A FAMILY PERSON, who loves technology

THIS IS AN UPDATE TO MY TEETH


YOU SEE, I HAVE NOTHING WRONG WITH MY TEETH, ANYMORE

I TRIED PARACETAMOL, WITH COCA COLA AND FLOURIDE AND METHANE IN MY SLEEP, AND DUDES

I DID IT THE EASY WAY, YOU SEE, ATHENA, HAS CLEANED MY MOUTH

AND GET RID OF THE YUCKY CAVERTY, IN MY MOUTH, BY POURING

METHANE INTO THE MOUTH, MAKING IT SORE FOR A WHILE, BUT

DUDES, IT WORKED, I HAVEN’T HAD A TOOTHACHE FOR 1 WHOLE WEEK

AND I AM KEEPING SEEING ATHENA, TO AVOID FUTURE PROBLEMS

I SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE SHOULD TAKE MY ADVICE, IN BELIEVING ATHENA

IS THE DENTIST UP IN THE SKY, THE SLEEPING TEETH THERAPIST SO TO SPEAK

YOU SEE I BELIEVE IN ATHENA, THE SLEEPING TEETH THERAPIST

YA SEE I WILL KEEP YA UPDATED, DUDES

Swoon, swindled, spindled, and spun.
Wisp of a hand,
to the possession of tongues.

With your lungs producing breath; methane gas.
Lips like matches,
with tendencies to strike,
engulfing us in a passionate blaze.

Bodies connected in the dark,
the silhouette of your euphoric body proved that ignorance was needed and illumination,
never needed.

                                        Settle.


Intert­wined in the repose,
Was the leaf to our stick.
Fathomed indentation
Tethered in our unspoken script

Heavy apparitions conjured from tight gasps.
Releasing 3 whispered words,
becomes our catalyst.
One embedded in your eyes
     A riptide
          of size to rise
the ties
           in the endearing future of our lives
    until we say our goodbyes
you'll shed this pain that cuts like knives.

Daydreaming of electric wires.
Tiptoeing on what
hangs lower than our fire.
Closed currents in the air
You continue the shock
as your fingers dance through my hair.

We're the flowers and petals,
withered into the passion we're plagued with.
Oh so crowded,
We're cursive
Characters tied in knots,
We can't be split.

Fearing the closure,
We mustn't ever be print...



...Fragmented, affluent, vacant, and split.
The script unraveled
Not cursive,
now print.

Life is hard, as I travel through outer space, in and out the cosmic pubs, first of all there is
The Neptune pub, where you get an atmosphere, like the rough pubs on earth, and then you
Get singers like elvis Presley doing the dancing styles, like with songs like don't be cruel, and
Then every Saturday night, we play return to sender, which is sang with a very fine voice, and
Then Sam kinison, does the wild thing, and the way he says you make your blood come out, it makes you wanna bleed, and Sam kinison on every Sunday night, USA time, has a meet and greet with any children who have been taken from this earth, Sam teaches these kids how to
Look after their current earth bodies, and he does that by checking on earth TV, everything that
They are doing and then after they have finished with them, they give them the cosmic voices, saying things like, go to the pub, go to the shop and tease the men, and better still go and buy
Your groceries, but sometimes it feels like you have to be careful, what you tell the cosmos, because bad spirits like ted bundy and ed gein and also Steven Bradley who kidnapped Brian
Allan's last life, is mainly making sure Brian doesn't be a cool kid, mind you Brian's current family are putting a cool kid in the itch of his toes, trying to protect him from being kidnapped, to show, Cronus, who is Brian that people are still wanting what Brian wants, rather than what
Other people want, you see Brian has a mental illness now, and would like people to like him, but the only mate Brian had as an adult was a schitzophrenic dude, who was cool in a very uncool sort of a way, and every holiday that Brian went on, he heard voices from his old mate
Saying that he was a worthless heap of ****, and Brian ran down the streets of Sydney saying
Leave me alone, leave me alone, why don't you leave me alone ya ****, and as Brian was yelling he heard people look at Brian and shove the gears up, saying you fucken ****, you are,
Meanwhile back in outer space at Jupiter moon, Brian's dad, who was Barry Allan was performing that version of singing in the rain, with words saying Cha Choo Choo Cha Choo Choo Cha Cha, toes together and hands together and go cat go, and then sang a song that
Brian's brother Chris would remember, where at one stage dad would yell out, dreamer, where the hell are all the sheep, and Brian and Barry went on a trip to Saturn, where they went to Saturn club rings or rings of Saturn, and, man, this was happy hour heaven, all the young dudes say happy hour is better on earth, but I can assure you that happy hour is much nicer up here
Because if anyone fought you, you don't feel pain, so instead of fighting, they would chuck a keg of methane on you, so your earth life will improve, but there is no such thing as improving
Really, and maybe you need to be careful, but Brian feels that itch of his feet, for him anyway
Is a way, of improving, like if it's itchy, you are in harms way, and if you are stepping away from bad spirits, you feel it in your toes, if you feel safe, and you are working, you don't have the itch,
And, lately Brian Allan has been feeling that cool kid coming back, because when Brian travelled around civic, ya know, showing them all how to party, but instead of doing that, Brian
Discguises himself as Briano Alliano, to perform music about what Brian really wants to do, and that is write his problems out of him, and Brian's nanna from his fathers side, is John Robert rimel, who is a young singer, who me, who is Cronus is trying to get him to come to Australia
To perform in a concert, or maybe sing Christmas music, you see Brian's nanna says, I used to
Call Brian my old sweetie pie, but now, I want to **** that stupid part of her, cause I remember
When she told me that she got robbed, one day, said Brian but Brian was unaware of when that was, thinking that it was the other day, and nanna looked at Brian as being her cutie pie, despite Brian tying himself up cosmically on nanna' bed by the evil Stephen Bradley who
Has Brian's stinking soul, but now nanny, who wanted to die in 1997, to get away from my smoking and drinking caper, to leave the Allan clan, and become a professional singer, she could do that if she puts her creativity skills she used in her Allan life and write songs and perform covers, and my nanna will fly around making sure the Allan's never lose their touch
Toward creativity, because, the evil goblin who had got rid of stan burns and Ray pocock and
Barry Allan and all the nice men that lived closed to Brian and Brian wants to keep everyone safe from this evil goblin by preaching the word, like if you wanna live, be creative, but some people want to die, said a man at ACTEW in lower molonglo, but that could be, that there is a lot of suffering on earth, and not everyone gets to accomplish their dreams, so the best way, is
To die, and accomplish their dreams in future lives, but that isn't supposed to sound negative,
It is supposed to give an uplifting approach to dying, as to say, that there is no such thing as
Negative death, I can tell you Brian's dad Barry who died in March 2014, was getting tired of
Brian coming in, ha know running and looking stressed, decided to die, so Barry can check out
Why Brian is having problems, or why the voices are in his head to begin with, and since Barry died, he has performed in a few cosmic pubs, like Neptune pub and Jupiter moon, and Brian
Who discguises his body as Briano, with long hair and a mo, and Barry sort of knows it's Brian
But he is enjoying Listening to Brian's cosmic style and really enjoys the keg of methane Brian loves to throw on Barry, to improve and add a bit of cool to Barry's next life, Betty Campbell.


Sent from my iPad

Around 93 million miles from darling precious mother Earth,
First appeared glory sun,
In ecliptic stroll,
She'll orbit through her universe,
Dances past Mercury,
Stops for no party,
Cos this planet's party's lacking atmosphere,
Scally-wag sun scoots by Venus,
Burning hot herself,
Shining brightly in the darkness,
Phosphorescent glow,
Hesperus, the evening star, first one to be seen at night,
Phosphorous the morning star, the last planet to bid us goodnight,
When the morning comes in sight
Our lady home is next in line,
A planet rich with all life's treasures,
Mars she sits quietly dressed in red,
Has no water, not sure if she's always been dead,
Jupiter, has severe acne, shown in one red spot immense, she has no atmosphere, what gas she has is toxic, ammonia, methane, hydrogen,
The biggest baby of them all,
Saturn wears no wedding rings, has bands of ice particulate skirting round it's girth,
Uranus not much to say, he hangs around in space all day, as the Greek God of the sky,
Watching as the other world's go by,
Neptune, Roman God of the seas in planet form,
Pluto, chilled, the coldest one of all.

I hope you enjoyed this, it was extremely hard to write!!
By ladylivvi1

© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)

Standing on Saturn's moon
Looking at the orange sky
I am on Titan

My telescope lies a distance away
It always points at Earth
I can't bear to point it anywhere else
My home is the only place I see

I watch as a methane thunderstorm unfolds
Drops of liquid methane all around
I have longed to swim in the lakes
But I know I will freeze and drown

Thunder in the sky above
Methane is raining faster
I wish i could say I am thankful for my suit
But no, I really can't

I want to run barefoot on the methane ice
Breathe in the fresh carbon dioxide
And in the few seconds I have left
Living life to the fullest

I wish I had said adios to my friends before
I have lost hope that I will come back home

HI DUDES


I HAVE JUST HEARD THAT MY DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS HAVE ENTERED THEIR

NEW LIVES, YOU SEE DAD WHO IS ELIZABETH CAMPBELL AND WIILIAM CAMPBELL

IS ROBIN WILLIAMS, YOU SEE LAST NIGHT, WAS A GREAT DAY FOR DAD, BECAUSE

I GOT A KEG OF METHANE, AND THREW ALL THE OLD FOGIE OUT OF DAD

BUT I THINK MY BROTHER AND AUNTY DAPHNE, CAME UP, TO TAKE THE GUY

OUT OF DAD, AS WELL, YA SEE, ROBIN WILLIAMS, WAS THE COOL ONE

AND DAD DID SAY, THAT MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL, ANYWAY, I THINK MEN

AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL TOO, AND I WANTED DAD AND ROBIN WILLIAMS TO LEAVE

LISA’S ******, AND START A NEW LIFE, ON EARTH, IN THE CAMPBELL’S HOUSEHOLD

AND FOR A WHILE I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH DADS, WORRYING, BUT THERE IS NOTHING

WRONG WITH LOSING YOUR MAN, DAD, YOU WERE A BUSHWALKER, YOU CAN STILL DO THAT

YOU CAN PLAY TENNIS, OR TOUCH FOOTY, NO GIRLS DO MORE IN THIS DAY AND AGE

THAN THEY DID IN MY DAY, OR YOUR DAY, SHOULD I SAY

NOW, I WANT OLGA,. TO MAKE YOU FEEL COOL, YOU ARE THE ONLY GIRL WITH TWO BROTHERS

IT’LL BE A BUMPY ROAD FOR YOU DAD, BUT DON’T FORGET, WE HAVE THE COSMOS DAD

SO I CAN PERFORM AND TIP METHANE, IF YOU TEASE LIKE THE KIDS, REMEMBER

YOUR LAST LIFE, HATED KIDS SPEECH, REMEMBER YOUR OLD STYLE, YOU NEED TO

BE CREATIVE DAD, I LOVE YOU, BUT I THINK, YOU ARE BACK IN THE WORLD AGAIN

AND DAD, YOUR STILL AUSTRALIAN, EVEN YOUR STILL A NSW KID

LIVING IN SYDNEY, COOL WHEN YOU COME TO THINK OF IT, HEY

I WILL MEET YOU WHEN I AM FAMOUS

IT’S MY CRONUS POWERS, MAKING ME KEEP TRACK, OK

KEEP ME POSTED, YOUR COSMIC SON JG BROWN

In last November 2015 a friend of mine named Bridget died and
Her partner sadly misses her
And on August 12 2016 Bridget
Was reincarnated as Michael Townsend son of Alice and brother of Toby Townsend
You see it is my work as Cronus to bring Bridget back into the world as Michael Townsend
And another mate of mine that died last year was Steve Grigor
And September 6th 2016
Steve Grigor was reincarnated as Ethan felix Vaughan
You see as soon as Steve died
Bridget took him by the hand and they shared many a methane smoothie together
So their bodies can improve the quality of their life and now
Bridget's mother is Alice and Steve is son of Tamara and Henry
Here is a welcome to earth song to Bridget and steve's soul
Welcome welcome welcome
You drink your methane and you have a lot of fun
And now you have been reincarnated into your new life
Death isn't the end
It is a new beginning
So let's party with Michael and Ethan

When is it that you've had enough
when you can't tell methane from Mexico
and the bruises on your knees
resemble the hickies
from the drug dealer boyfriend
you left last summer

I remember him very well
and picture his blurred face
Looking at me longingly
from between my legs

he was sweaty
and I was vulnerable
and he used every inch of my body
to convince me of his desire

but I dont mind
and an certainly not shameful
of that curiosity I developed
for telling skunk from week
and the admiration
and ****** frustration
for the cholo type of boy

sometimes I miss you
but maybe those are nights
that I'm not getting any

even wording an intellectual debate
focusing on the word: warrior,
is, to me, something of a ****-in-your-underwear
and then swing it around like a missile
and hope that the other monkey is dead...

what do i find in terms of persistent Darwinism?
media akin to Groundhog day replication,
a distrust of media and politics
doesn't go anywhere akin to El Dorado,
it goes to areas of grey and thistles, and weeds,
and trying to defend a political system
that monopolises on the media? e.g. Iraq.

what's the modern trait of the **** sapiens?
he's not intimidated by the advertisement
industry to spend, he saves his buck...
modern **** sapiens feels no regret at not
having the chance to procreate with neanderthal
women who shout rather than moan,
modern **** sapiens isn't wooed by the ooh's and
the ah's of a modern public audience,
modern **** sapiens man isn't ready to turn
women into butchers in Afghanistan,
or what Sappho called: butch, butch, butchy, butch-butch,
      target practice for the *****:
   now your chance to shoot a machinegun.

the **** sapiens doesn't get the Coliseum,
in whatever shape or form as the modern solution
to what would otherwise be: watching paint dry,
    there's no football Sunday over brunch to
holler and cheer and get things done.

the **** sapiens man will not mate with a neanderthal
woman of these times... he has no need to lose
his integrity to mate with these over-sexualised creatures...
modern **** sapiens lives in a time when
science has lost its mojo,
and became arrogant like a chef cooking up
Sicilian pasta in Chuckle Street...
   modern **** sapiens man does not grace procreating
with the mannequins of neanderthal women...
oversexualised and almost Somali in caricature,
which is hardly 5 brats running around for the stately
                 feeding...

modern **** sapiens isn't interested in how offensive you
sound, or how uninteresting you actually are,
the 26 digits on your tongue will never quill a
woodpecker readied for carpentry...
you have physicists for that and that ancient gauge
of sclera iris and pupil: which kinda looks
like clouds, green, brown, blue, grey,
              pupil and to whatever necessary telescope
for the constellations / twinkle in the eye...

     the modern **** sapiens doesn't want to procreate
with modern neanderthal women because
he thinks his feces will smell of mustard...
          he's ashamed about the way sport has
replaced national identity,
              and that watching ***** do the exodus from
a ******* and assimilate into a genesis of an ****
has become magnified into 22 wankers kicking
a ball between two fishnet stocking pair of legs...
              neanderthal women get it,
**** sapiens man doesn't... he's wondering why
there haven't been many drunk intellectuals...
                to state this case.

**** sapiens man is wondering why this isn't even
an insult... by a version of a continuum
best addressed when worded, rather than
    chess-chanced on a board of fixations and
cheap-labour and psychiatrically guised excuses
that are in concerto: lethargy etiam propus.

   **** sapiens is wondering why history froze,
and this be the new ice age...
and why only one day gets a mention,
he's wondering why there's no media sabbath...
         i.e.: when no news happens.

**** sapiens is bewildered by this fresh zeitgeist
of having a need to speak...
  **** sapiens is wondering: why Ned the Destroyer?
**** sapiens is asking: what about the think?
       **** sapiens says of neanderthals:
i guess they really need to talk
because they cannot accept the monotheistic concept
of thought, and stress the democratic: blah blah brechen
to protest, stitch placards and walk a lot and do
cathedral bells a justice of repeating chants: kneel
to pray! tramps aren't trump! etc.

**** sapiens says: they once imagined telepathic
with telekinetic and then they said no to Marxism...
now there don't seem to be that many individuals around
apart from those in suicidal succor.

all in all, **** sapiens simply says:
i will not fornicate with these neanderthal women!
i don't care what my genetic prenup would look like,
    it might look ugly, it might look pretty...
            if we're going down this route...
there's me: exit,
                and then these women:
            lamenting what queen Sheeba said to
king Solomon:
                          the copper skinned will rule the world.

well, here's me and my automated reliance on
extinction...
                           i'm taking a bow...
i'm bowing out...
                                i find only one sensual solace in
this world...
                    music...
                           ­         i'm bowing out of the rest
that comes like a Mongolian revival of a horde...
          and even if there was a love for a woman worth
defending... i already declassified it as
neanderthal... so much for Darwinism when uncoupled
from theology and coupled to history;
evidently my mind is a bit blank when i try to go beyond
the written records... nice gallery by the way...
sure, the shrunken coccyx gave it away...
and i wish i was... doing acrobatics on trees, still;

**** sapiens said of neanderthals:
if only you had an immune system built to
                                        not succumb to advertisement!

but **** sapiens man said: poach the ivory,
but the elephant will play you a trumpet underwater,
      and you'll ask: why?
              because if the elephant farted you'd
get a methane jacuzzi, and not a quasi-jazz concert...
that wasn't even meant to be funny.

The after life part 9


Today Cronus was even more busier than ever sending people to their next lives and his latest person was 14 year old beryl stone with her two sisters Harriet and sienna who were on their way to get ice cream when a drunk driver came out of nowhere and hit them and killed all 3 of them together and Cronus said beryl, Harriet and sienna, who do you want to be in your next life, do you want to be together or seperate and you will lose everything in your next life and sienna said I want to be with beryl and Harriet but if it can’t be done we want to be together as best friends and Cronus said ok, is there anywhere you will want to go in the world and Harriet said, not in Australia, that’s for sure because people say it is the lucky country but we weren’t lucky in that car, I like to go to the USA, where we could have anything we want, and beryl and sienna said yes, USA for us but beryl said in different families because I want to meet one of them and marry them and Cronus said well I can’t guarantee that but that is something you must work towards doing and sienna said, what is going to happen to the crazy drunk driver and Cronus said well I can’t do much there but I will guarantee he will get what is coming to him and then Cronus sent beryl and Harriet and sienna to Athena for a soul check and after that they went to Saturn for a methane ice cream spider and then travelled around the universe hoping they can have a forfilled life and then Cronus saw famous horse trainer Tom Barclay and said who do you want to be in your next life and Tom said I want to be a racehorse so I could win races and be cared for by the next generation of little girls and boys and make my jockey win a lot of races and my fans win a lot of money and Cronus said yes but we are supposed to mend each blade of grass by helping people, you seem to encourage gambling and Tom said yes, I know but it was hard to be a human, especially after I got sick and had to get away from the horses and if I was a horse I will be around horses all the time, and I can mend heaps of blades of grass that way, I won’t live as long as a horse, maybe I will want to be another person after that and Cronus said, what could you offer people as a horse, I could ride children and adults around and I could keep horses from not going extinct and Cronus said that is mending blades of grass so he sent him to Athena for a soul check and Tom went to Saturn to ride dinosaurs high on methane and then Cronus had Kenny Harrison who was a volunteer fireman who died tackling the south coast fires and Cronus said what do you want to be in your next life and Kenny said I want to make a difference in people’s lives by helping people to rebuild their lives from natural disasters and Cronus said yes but I can’t give you much there except give you the helping people spirit abs put you in a family who wants to make a difference as well, so you could learn when your next life becomes an adult and Kenny said ok I will hopefully won’t get bullied into helping people by them though, I want to make a difference in what my calling is, and Cronus said ok no worries and sent him to Athena for a soul check and then to Buddha to get a helping people spirit and then Kenny went to Jupiter to help stop evil spirits from causing hurricanes and Cronus said it is great that he wants to mend each blade of grass

he hooligans feet




you see the hooligans are trapping me down and down, making me feel, i am too shy

to be like anyone cool, and i don’t want this to happen, the reality is, my feet have fungus

but it could be the hooligans trapping me, making me believe that i8 will never be a family person

ever again, and another thing too, the fungus is building up on my feet, here is a song

the hooligans have trapped my feet hooray hooray

yeah they have trapped my feet hooray hooray

you see the hooligans have trapped me down, like i have been ******* by a terrorist, yeah

and i feel like i am hooligan forever and forever amen, oh lord

you see the hooligan is me back then, the me who wanted to destroy the world

by taking each boy away, so they couldn’t find a girl, my lord

you see i said ha ha ha, you oldies are going down

you see i am a mean dude, who needs to break away

and this hooligan stays in my body till i am too old for ***

yeah, the hooligans will hassle me, like my old pal rex

you see, how this hooligan will hassle me, by ripping the shyness out of me

i want the hooligan out of my body, but it’s so fucken hard

i want it out i want it out, but really i am too filthy yeah

i am hearing blackboards ghost my mate, ya see my previous life who was beheaded

and i remember being killed by a strange man named fred

well, him, he was crazy, but so am i

i hate everyone saying i am CRAZY, it drives me nuts

i hear these voices, saying come to the other side

and be my friend, yeah mate yeah, this would be the coolest thing

just like me, the coolest thing

and the hooligans have his legs tied and his arms tied

and every time he walks, his feet will be planted on the floor

like he has been trapped forever and ever amen

you see i was trying to be a hooligan to show my family that they are so shy

you see, keeping my legs planted on the floor, is to say, i am a cool kid

and i was protecting myself from the bad spirits

ya see if i tied myself up, or pushed my feet to the ground

i can tease my family forever

but this could turn nasty as some actual hooligans rob me, by saying your not a hooligan, mate

in a really angry voice, and i don’t want to rob banks or steal cars, no that ain’t for me

please don’t make me rob banks, i hate that kind of life

cause i close my eyes, and draw back the curtain to see for certain a budweiser beer

and all young people got drunk with me, yeah, how about you take your beer

and get the **** right out of here

you see i don’t know for sure if my feet are itchy, because i feel my hooligan coming back to me

or is it just, the fact that i am too nice for the real world, and the hooligans keep me in, young dude heaven, to protect me

with a clash of drums, a flash of light, my itchy feet became hooligan feet

i was floating off to darkness, please leave me alone

and i saw my dad, drinking a methane smoothie, that i left there for him to tip all over me

hey baby ooh yeah hey, i want to know if this hooligan will kidnap simon

hey baby ooh yeah hey i want to know if this hooligan will kidnap simon

you see brian allan is a family person, who doesn’t wanna rob banks cause they are bad

i know they are poor, and i know they are having heaps of problems, but hey baby ooh yeah, hey

i want to know if the hooligan will kidnap simon

you see people are treating me like a hooligan, i don’t want to be a hooligan

i am a family person, who has a lot of fun, yeah

why don’t these so called families leave me alone

you see, they are treating me like a hooligan, all because i was shyer than the so called teasing families

i am a family person, more so than them, i hate the hooligans trying to trap me under the families

so they can ask me to rob banks, I DON’T WANT TO ROB BANKS, I HATE EVERYONE TEASING ME

I AM NOT A HOOLIGAN, REALLY, I AM A FAMILY PERSON, WHO HAS, itchy hooligan feet

BECAUSE I MADE A MISTAKE IN LIFE

why hadn't i thought of this before?
why are children hidden in the floor?
why is our mother missing and
why is carbon four hundred parts per

human? historical doubts, unusual droughts, i thought
i'd never say it but **** canada. **** budweiser, ****
saint valentine and his pagan oppression, bless my blood
for being dark. there is consciousness in the pores of corals,
a strong mind in the **** at the polar regions of this table.

i am not an arctic hare, i am not a vector
for your raging codependence, four meters
into the thermosphere i am not vulnerable to
methane, early snowmelt, or severe wildfires

but you are.

imagine retiring before you're 30,
with the great european disneyland
in switzerland waiting for your desires,
god... i stopped celebrating my birthdays
deliberately, so that each day is like
a birthday before the day i die:
motto: oh ****, here again, *******!

so i started brooding on the concept of
monism, dualism and trinity
in chemical terms eradicating theological
impetus to salvage from one (e.g. the buddha,
the christ, the moses without a surname like jesus)
the multitude: mostly fishermen and tax officers
and thieves... jesus... what a selective society you
knit and picked, huh?
i was thinking of carbon monoxide
(C≡O)... so when counter-structures on the
elemental level become coupled in a scenario
of being identical, bypassing non-super-imposable'ness
(disregarding chirality), they can spawn
exponential growth named cancerous economics!  
and methane (C and H x4)
ethene (H2C=CH2) and ethane (H3C-CH3)
trinity's degenerate nature... oh right, so you're playing
dumb but not farming, you're the required
audience in front of the digitalised combine of colours
in a shady room? plato would call that coloured shadows
where no messages are deciphered given the doubt
that they're even passed for the excommunication
of corrupt politicians and the clergy... you know:
french / russian revolution *******.
oh i want a thinking embryo not attached to my body,
i want it so bad that i can compare myself
to elijah's command: execute the priesthood of baal,
because they can't conjure anything,
just paedophilia and mumbles and sugar puffs at breakfast.
well there's all that, what was i talking about?
rambling on many cobwebbed talking matters later
it might appear like Alzheimer's... right the active
ingredient of cigarettes: carbon monoxide,
(C≡O), not like carbon diaoxide (O=C=O),
a trinity in one person creates a fourth dimension,
imagine the interstellar (movie) capsule of quantum-space
of humanism interpreting the crucifix wearing
a cosmonaut suit rather than adam's fur...
it's like that... so apart from carbon monoxide providing
the suffocating dizzy carousel of the cigarette dragged
quickie high, you get the nicotine i thought was
actually a placebo substance, a palette of tobacco akin...
still alice* was a bit **** to be honest,
she was trying to salvage her strongest areas of
personality, she specialised in linguistics,
in phonetics and what not (etc.),
if she suddenly changed course with her interests,
rather than retreated into the laziness of:
all consciousness and thinking is about memory and
memorisation, she was challenged by schooling's
expression of memory: the times table: 2 x 2 = 4, 2 x 3 = 6,
and personal memory, the imprints on other
people, rather than civilisation's imprint on
the person in question: civilisation = the existence of money,
tribalism = you scratch my back, i scratch yours.