"methane" poems
bon scott plays up a VOLCANO IN GUATEMALA
you see i start a partying in the night today
we are rocking and a rolling, yeah party, yeah
ya see we bring that volcano down to gualamala
yeah it’s about as cool as eating a banana
rock, ****** rock this volcano made ‘em rock
bring this party to the other end and rock
guatemala, is rocking tonight with malt and lava
is a rocking all night long
you see the house is a rocking, don’t bother knocking
yeah we will party, party we shall
rock this volcano, wreck the old life, WOW
i am going to get my spirit, and shake it down there
make all the people guatemala grin and ****** bare
and now i welcome slim dusty, i would love to have a beer with him
we drink in moderation dude, but our future, looks quite dim
yeah, we’ll drink in the town and country dudes
the people of guatemala feel distraught
cause we sent a big volcano, dude, from jupiter moon, that’s right
you see now we bring robert palmer in
how can it be permissible, oh yeah
this volcano in guatemala is unstoppable, ha
i wish there were ways to end it yeah
i would grab a methane and top it on ya, yeaH
It’s a strange occurrence first, it’s ****** hot, oh yer
it really destroys guatemala, dude the volcano is simply unstoppable
the walls are are shaking, the floor is melting
ya see, yeah we are covered in lava, and feel like ya melting
then i get up and look around, and i look up and see a volcano thrashing guatemala
ya see the volcano shook this town all night long
we’ll party on all night long
and then i get down and look around, to see if nobody has tipped methane on slim
you are hayley from bratayley
you are cool, the coolest dude around
i get up, and we’ll party down, we’ll drink ‘em down
then the old old man let’s out a big big frown
and i see barry allan as he walks past, i said come in bas boy, party on
and i tip a methane smoothie on barry, which shook the town of guatemala all night long
the methane shook it all night long
then slim dusty said, i will get a baked potato baked potato toast and jam
jupiter shook the guatemala volcano all night long, my dear
slim then said, watch bratayley, for me with new families, peter sergeant from canberra and ivy gimbert
and ivy and peter walked in and said, would you stop singing it up here
cause we need some COOL, for earth
baked potato baked potato, uhhhh baked potato
and then bon scott came up and said, PARTY PARTY,
and rock guatemala, while your at it, OK
AND we’ll keep this party rolling guatemala volcano malt and lava
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
Conjunctions creak, the adverbs ache,
nouns bear more than they can take.
Verbs are screaming for Ben-Gay
while pronouns atrophy away.
Adjectives have lost their bite,
possessives just give up the fight.
The subject's upset, naught agrees,
which weakens metaphoric knees.
Contractions all together moan;
the objects better left alone.
Ah, life is at a frightful stage
when poets and their poems age.
Feb 9, 2011
Feb 9, 2011 at 5:34 PM UTC
So big this tiny hole opens up
And the sound blasts out so abrupt
The stench suffocates the breathing
Water comes to eyes everywhere
as **** methane fills the air
No one wants to be blamed for
the toxic air un-freshener
Everyone assumes its the ***
and moves away from her
I try to keep a straight face until
I get off the train
Then locate a rest room
and check for stains
Jan 27, 2014
Jan 27, 2014 at 11:17 AM UTC
(a satirical pop at the Illuminati)
It's time to slay fatted consumer cows
It's time to fumigate the Great Unwashed;
To sow mutation's seeds behind the ploughs
To see the dullard's dreams forever quashed.
How movingly they pray not to be harmed!
How doggedly they work to make a wage!
How prettily they line up to be farmed,
Yet, how they long to be at centre stage!
The Useless Eaters eat their pizzas deep,
Their double fries and creamy mayonnaise;
Produce only some methane while asleep,
And fodder for landfill, throughout their days.
It's time for the superiors to win;
Unleash the virus, let the cull begin.
Sep 30, 2013
Sep 30, 2013 at 10:15 PM UTC
A DEATH CREATES A DECEMBER/OCTOBER TWIN BIRTH WITH RAY POCOCK’S LIFE FOLLOWING HIS TRAGIC NEXT LIFE’S DEATH
YOU SEE ROBERT KINOSHITA, TURNS 100, AND GOES UP TO SATURN TO
DO A FEW ROBOT DANCES, AND INVENTS THIS LITTLE SONG
I AM THE GREATEST, I MADE A FAMOUS ROBOT
IT WAS IN A GREAT GREAT SHOW TITLED LOST IN SPACE
I WANTED TO LIVE FOREVER, BUT I EVENTUALLY KICKED THE BUCKET
BUT I LIVED TO BE 100, TO SAY I DID THE ROBOT DANCE
I DID THE ROBOT DANCE, SAYING
I AM A ROBOT, I AM A ROBOT, MY WAY IS COMING TRUE THROUGHOUT THE LAND
I AM A ROBOT EVERY SINGLE DAY
I CREATED ROBOT B-9, HE WAS FAMOUS FOR SAYING
DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER WILL ROBINSON
AND THEN SAID, I AM A ROBOT, I AM A ROBOT,
I AM COMING TO EXTERMINATE YOU, I AM A ROBOT FOREVER AND EVER
AND THEN AS I GET OFF STAGE I TIP A KEG OF METHANE ALL OVER RAY POCOCK
TO SAY, LET’S MAKE TWINS IN OCTOBER, WELL LET’S MAKE THEM DUE IN OCTOBER ANYWAY
AND ROBERT AND RAY SAID WE ARE PERFECT ROBOTS
WE WILL CREATE NEW LIFE, IN OCTOBER, OH YEAH
RAY HAS NO IDEA, EITHER HAS ROBERT, BUT THEY BOTH SAID WE ARE ROBOTS
AND DANGER, IF WE LET THE TERRORISTS WIN
WE ARE CRONUS’S, EMBASSADORS, I AM CRONUS
I AM THE ONE IN THE FAMILY, WHO LIKES IMAGINATIVE ROBOTS
AND WE DANCE, WE ARE BIG ROBOTS, WE ARE BIG ROBOTS
WE HAVE COME TO ESTERMINATE YOU GUYS IF YA COME TO CLOSE
DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER WILL ROBINSON
THERE WILL BE DANGER IF ROBERT AND RAY SEPERATE, CAUSE
THEY ARE JOINED TO PROTECT THE EARTH, AND BRING PROPER ROBOTS BACK
WE WANT HELPFUL ROBOTS WE WANT HELPFUL ROBOTS
WE WILL GET THEM NOW, ROBERT KINOSHITA TIP METHANE ALL OVER BARRY ALLAN
CAUSE, HE WON’T EXCEPT HE IS NOW ELIZABETH ANN CAMPBELL
DANGER BARRY ALLAN ROBERT SAID IF YOU GET THIS YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY CRAP OUT OF YOUR SONS
DANGER AHEAD, TO OLD HAGS WE ARE BIG ROBOTS, AND WE WILL STAY BIG ROBOTS FOREVER
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 3:08 AM UTC
Baby I've got a six-pack
of Coke
We're gonna have a good night
Goodnight
Don't you think that we should
give up
Don't you think that we should
start a fight
I was born and raised
on methane
I was always taught
to never profane
Green and yellow grass
were my best friends
I was always taught
to make amends
All I've ever been
is full of ****
and I wear it proudly
with a grin
All I've ever done
is plug myself
and I wear it proudly
on my chin
You told me you could do a back flip
then ran away when I asked your name
I've never felt as sad as that day
I took a course on lust and relay
I took some pills that looked like diamonds
Readied myself for a life of staring
How could I be so bold and daring
Guilty of sin before preparing
You know, I should at least TRY to take over the world
Jun 20, 2018
Jun 20, 2018 at 12:26 PM UTC
a big fight up in saturn causes cyclone activity in queensland and northern territory
you see ronnie biggs and ted bunny were having a quiet methane smoothie, in saturn
club rings, when they suddenly broke out in a fight, and this wasn’t just any fight, no, it caused
big cyclone activity in quuensland and northern territory and gold coast where my brother lives
has a bif of rough seas, and my dad is making sure that the cyclone doesn’t affect gold coast
and my brothers family, but ronnie biggs and ted bundy had no compassion, and really started
fighting with methane, which is causing the rough seas, and dad, is trying to keep the cyclone away
but, it looks like ted bunny and ronnie biggs are going to get their way, as they, poured methane all over
the saturn club rings, you see, what us cosmic sleepers must do, is alert australians living in these areas
to listen to authorities, and go to a safe place, for barry allan’s ploy to save this world, hopefully there won’t
be any casualties, and hopefully my brothers family will be safe, hopefully dad can save the gold coast
and keep his old family safe, it’ll be a hard job, you see ted bundy and ronnie biggs are still fighting, saying
let’s destroy the earth, let’s destroy australia first, let’s use methane to ruin the whole entire earth, you see
me as cronus is getting dad to help me keep the methane from forcing the cyclones to really **** people, and hopefully
nothing will be lost, but it will be ****** hard, because ted bunny and ronnie biggs are really ****** well ****** off
with everyone, as well as cronus, and knows how crocus’s current earth body is when storms come to cities his
brother or family lives in, decided to hopefully wreck cronus’s life, and his dad barry allan, is making sure he helps
cronus keep his younger son safe from this really fierce cyclone, i know i am going on and on saying the same thing
over and over, but this is a way, to bring all cyclone activity not to take too much control on queensland and northern territory
you see, ted bundy likes the idea of using methane to destroy the earth, to get crocus’s earth body, to SHUT UP, cause
you should listen to your voices when they said methane is a gas, and you can’t drink it, but you can fight it, and the methane
stopped dad from being a boy, but he says girls and boys are equal, and barry allan is fighting ted bundy and ronnie biggs
from having this cyclone get close to my brothers family, but ted bundy liked the idea of hurting the gold coast, and cause
problems for my brother, and barry allan and cronus are protecting the gold coast from a very fierce cyclone activity
and cronus and buddha YELLED OUT
UMMMMMMMMMM STOP ted bundy and ronnie biggs from taking too much affect in cyclones in qld and northern territory
immmmmmmmmmm keep our family safe from this methane cyclone caused by ted bundy and ronnie biggs
ummmmmmmmmmm stop people swimming in dangerous waters, they will be doing what ted and ronnie want
you see, ronnie biggs and ted bundy are fighting each other, and dad and cronus who is me, are guarding anyone who is on the earth
making people too scared to not go in the water, ted bundy is enjoying people going in the water and so is ronnie biggs
because it makes what they are doing so very much right, and i tell ya i tell ya i tell ya, my father, is helping my previous life cronus
ME AND DAD MUST SAVE THE QUEENSLAND AND NORTHERN TERRITORY COASTLINE
ME AND DAD MUST SAVE THE QUEENSLAND AND NORTHERN TERRITORY COASTLINE
save it from the dreaded ronnie biggs and ted bundy, RIGHT NOW
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 8:08 PM UTC
Heat
Calcification
Incalescence
Swelter
Suffocation
Arctic circle above 32 degrees Fahrenheit in December
Leaking lakes of Methane gas in Siberia
Scientific data to price
Changing 2 degrees
has caused mass extinction
Melting glaciers
Oceans 7 centimeters higher
Drought in the Amazon
Changes in migration
Disruption in pollination
Heatwaves:
high death tolls
Decreased plant growth
Zika in Florida
Ignorance from the government
Refusal of proof
Nonbelievers in the White House
Dec 16, 2016
Dec 16, 2016 at 12:12 PM UTC
I wanna go to bed my love
Into bed to cuddle my teddy
Having fun in my dreams
In my bed cuddling my teddy
Having a methane smoothie
With my dad in a bar on Saturn
Having fun getting ******
Enjoying life oh yeah
I wanna go to bed my love
Ready to cuddle my teddy
Yes indeed it will be fun
To hop in my bed with my teddy
You can’t party in clubs on earth
Because of the coronavirus
So you go to bed cuddle your teddy bear and dream about partying in the cosmos yeah
Drinking methane smoothies and eating cosmic burgers
Asking Athena where is the vaccine
Because it is only that I take psychotic medication
That I could go to bed to cuddle my teddy
You can still have concerts
In your computer room
And I have poem reading
Yes that is great and I cuddle my teddy
But when it is time to hop off to bed
And get under your doona
And cuddle your teddy
Teddies are cute
And loving life is what I do
When I go to bed to party in the cosmos
The way my party can be great
Is hop in bed with your teddy
Occasionally my dreams feature death
And I need to suddenly wake up to cuddle my teddy
Instead of causing problems on the street they should party at home
In front of their computer or in the cosmos
And when my earth body is tired I
Go to bed and really oh yeah cuddle my teddy and party in the cosmos
Having a lot of fun
PARTY ON DUDES
May 1, 2020
May 1, 2020 at 4:15 AM UTC
species massacred for grazing
cows rule the world
the Brazilian rainforest
is now 80 million acres
of open range
supporting our demise
one cheeseburger at a time –
6700 gallons of water
is the cost of a big mac
when you factor in growing grain
giving cattle drinking water
and processing meat
peak water and peak oil
mean nothing when chewing cud –
more than 50% of greenhouse gases
methane from bovine flatus
without a single environmental group
working to stop this plague
instead they openly swallow
government lies about carbon
and the role 300 million United States citizens
have in saving the world of 7 billion
by driving less and recycling –
I laugh uproariously at the idiocy
knowing our karmic retribution
can only be extinction
like so many other species
we’ve killed off to make room
for more livestock agriculture
when everyone knows at this point
we can survive and thrive
off a plant based diet….
I’d write more,
but I am starving for
a bacon double cheeseburger –
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015 at 1:23 PM UTC
Environmental advice
from a re-purposed hag:
Stop driving cars.
Use a re-usable bag.
Cook dinner at home.
Adopt children, not pets.
Don't use plastic cups.
Don't eat tuna caught with nets.
Don't toss out food--
it becomes methane gas.
Stop shopping for clothes;
give consumerism a pass.
Wear natural fabrics.
Turn off extra lights.
Use solar cells.
Live the days and sleep the nights.
Apr 22, 2020
Apr 22, 2020 at 11:14 AM UTC
WHAT A COOL YOUNG DUDE INVENTION
HAVING BEER COME FROM THE UNDERGROUND, OH YEAH, HOW RAD
HAVING BEER COME FROM THE UNDERGROUND
TO HAVE THE WORLD TEASE MY DEAR OLD DAD
AS HE IS TRYING TO RELAX, BUT THIS IDEA IS COOL
YA SEE IN BELGUIM THE STREETS ARE SO, BAD
RUNNING THE BEER UNDERGROUND, YEAH THAT SOUNDS RAD
YA SEE I COULD CAUSE KIDDIES PRACTICING TO DIG
A HOLE IN THE GROUND, AND GET AT IT A BIT
BUT WHY WORRY ABOUT THAT, IT ISN’T AS SILLY AS IT SOUNDS
AUSTRALIA LOVES BEER, WHY NOT DO IT FOR US
IT COSTS MONEY, I AM NO DUMMY
IT IS A COOL YOUNG DUDES INVENRTON, MAN
PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY ON DUDES
I THINK PERSONALLY, IT WILL BE COOL
BREAK NO RULES, YEAH BEER TRAVELLING UNDERGROUND
WILL WORK HERE, JUST TRY IT OH ****** DEAR
YEAH THIS IS A COOL THING, LIKE AMERICAN IDOLS ADAM LAMBERT JOINING QUEEN
HERE THE BEER TRAVELS UNDERGROUND, UNDERGROUND UNDERGROUND
YEAH THE BEER TRAVELS UNDERGROUND, TO AVOID THE RICKEDY OLD STREETS OF BELGUIM, DUDE
IT’S THE KIND OF THING YA WANT IN AUSTRALIA, MAN AUSTRALIA, MAN AUSTRALIA, MAN
IT’S DEFINATELY THE THING IN AUSTRALIA MAN
YEAH IT’S A YOUNG DUDE INVENTION, AND IT MUST ****** WORK, DEAR
I DO ART, THAT’S MY YOUNG DUDE, YEAH, AND I AM PARTYING WITH COKE, OH YEAH
I USED TO BE THE TYPE TO DRINK A BEER, I GAVE UP WASN’T WORKING
BUT DON’T ****** WELL COPY ME, CAUSE I AM A LOST CAUSE TO THE CONSERVOS
MY YOUNG DUDE IS, PUTTING METHANE BACK TO EARTH, TO HEAL OUR HEALTH REFORM HEALTH REFORM HEALTH REFORM
MY YOUNG DUDE WANTS TO USE METHANE TO HEAL MY HEALTH REFORM
WHILE MY DAD IS SAYING, HE HAS NO YOUNG DUDE, AND FORCING YOUNG DUDES TO SAY
YOOUT NOT A COOL KID, DON’T MUCK WITH ME, BUDDY
I SAY, HOW ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND BEER, MATEY, HOW ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND BEER, SIR
BELGUIM, IS GOING TO BE RADICAL, DUDE
THE BEER WILL TRAVEL THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM
UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM
THE BEER WILL TRAVEL THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM
WE SHOULD DO THAT IN AUSTRALIA, MATE
QUEEN HAVE A NEW SINGER, ADAM LAMBERT, AND BELGUIM HAS BEER ON THE UNDERGROUND
THE COOL YOUNG DUDES LIKE ME IN THE 1980S, ARE RETURNING, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE PAL
PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 11:51 PM UTC
THE BOXING DAY SALES
WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THE BOXING DAY SALES
WELL, THE MALL IS OFTEN A PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO
DO THEIR STUFF, BUT BOXING DAY EVERYONE
IS PUSHING OVER EACH OTHER
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GOING TO THE MALL ON BOXING DAY
BUT BE PREPARED, IT’S LIKE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE
YA SEE, PEOPLE BUY THINFS THEY NEVER USE
AND THE MOTHERS BUY KIDS LUNCH, NEVER GETS EATEN
KIDS RUNNING AROUND, SAYING YEAH WE AIN’T AT SCHOOL
LET’S CELEBRATE LET’S CELEBRATE
YOU SEE BOXING DAY IS THE FRANTIC DAY
IF YOU LIKE THE REGULAR DAYS AT THE MALL
NEVER GO ON BOXING DAY
CAUSE, THEY CALL IT BOXING DAY
CAUSE PEOPLE AT THE MALL BOX YOU OUT OF THE WAY
TO EXCHANGE THE TACKY COAT YOUR MOTHER BOUGHT YOU
TO A STYLISH RED LEATHER COAT, LOOKS BETTER AND COSTS THE FUCKEN EARTH
YA SEE IN MELBOURNE, THE BOXING DAY TEST, WITH AUSTRALIA AGAINST THE REST
AND THEN IN SYDNEY, IS THE SYDNEY - HOBART YACHT RACE, AND THAT IS RAD
AND OFTEN PEOPLE ARE CAMPED OUTSIDE SHOPPING CENTRES
TO GET FIRST GRASP AT THE BOXING DAY SALES
WITH ME, I SHOP FOR THE MOMENT, SOM I DON’T GET DISSAPOINTED
I DON’T NEED TO FALL ASLEEP OUTSIDE WESTFIELD BELCONNEN MALL
I AM USING PANADOL CAUSE ATHENA’S METHANE IS POUNDING
BUT THAT IS PREVIOUS LIFE TRAUMA, YA SEE THE PARACETAMOL IS REALLY GETTING IN
AND I CAN FEEL, WITH THE COCA COLA, AND REGULAR BRUSHING
THERE WILL BE ON INFECTION IN MY MOUTH, I DON’T WANT THAT
I PUT MY VIDEOS ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO ATTRACT A COOLER KIND OF PERSON
YA SEE, I DON’T NEED THE FIRST THINGS IN THE BOXING DAY SALES
I GET WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE, I REMEMBER A SONG
THE FESTIVAL OF SYDNEY IS OUR DAY, SYDNEY SYDNEY SYDNEY OI OI OI
I HAVE MY HOME NOW, SO I DON’T NEED TO HANG AT THE MALL AS MUCH
BUT CURRENTLY I AM DOING A TAPESTRY ON PATRICK DUNBARS LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL
I FEEL COOL, I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD, LOOKING, OVER CREATION, LOOKING
THE ONLY SOLUTION I CAN FIND, AND AS I SANG FINE, PETER BUCHANAN
A MATE IN WOODBERRY IN THE 1970S, DID A REALLY COOL FINNNEEE
WITH A DEEPER VOICE, HE WAS COOOL MAN
I FAKED HIM TO PROVE A POINT TO THE YOUNG DUDES SAYING
JUST BECAUSE THE OTHER YOUNG DUDES UNDERSTOOD DAD’S WAY
DOESN’T MEAN I DID, HE LOOKED LIKE A REAL PAIN IN THE ***
TAKING MY COOL KID AWAY, BUT MUSTN’T DWELL, WE MUST HAVE FUN
I AM OFF TO THE CAVALRY MATCH TOMORROW, TO SEE THE FIRST
BUT I AM LEAVING AFTER THE FIRST MATCH, NO BUSES IN THE NIGHT
AND THE BOXING DAY SALES BRINGS OUT THE RIFF RAFF THE ROUGHER TYPES
AND THE CHEAP SUPERMARKET PUDDING JUNKIES LIKE ME WHO NEED TO GO TO THE MALL TO LEAVE THE HOUSE
BUT BOXING DAY SALES ARE FUN, IF YOU AIN’T IN THE INITIAL LINE
THAT CAN BE FRANTIC
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014 at 3:07 PM UTC
BRIAN, YOU ARE STILL A LITTLE SHY BOY, BUDDY
YOU SEE MY DAD CLOSED THE DOOR SAYING
DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE TEASING, BE LIKE ME AND MUMMY
AND WENT BACK IN AND I FOLLOWED DAD AND HE SAID
ARE YOU GETTING TEASED, BRIAN , AND I SAID, I AM TEASING YOU
CAUSE DAD, YOUR NOT LIKE US, YOUR NOT LIKE US, YA NOT LIKE US
I AM A YOUNG DUDE, AND YOU ARE A GRUMPY OLD ****
AND DAD SAID GO TO YOUR ROOM, AND I SAID NEH, I AM STILL COOL, BUDDY
DAD SAID, COOL, WHY DO YA WANT TO BE COOL FOR, BE LIKE ME AND MUMMY
OR A SHY YOUNG DUDE, AND I SAID, YOU ARE FUCKEN SHY, DAD
AND DAD GOT UP AND SAID, GO TO YOUR BLINKEN ROOM YA LITTLE SHY BOY
AND IF WE HAD LOCKS, I WILL LOCK YOU IN, I SAID WHEN YOU DIE
YOU ARE LEARNING ABOUT HOW KIDS OF TODAY ACT
DAD SAID SHUT UP, YOUR STILL A LITTLE SHY BOY
AND RAN TO HIS SEAT, AND I FOLLOWED HIM SAYING, I AM STILL NOT LEAVING YOU ALONE DAD
AND DAD SAID, GO TO YOUR ROOM YA FOOL, YA FOOL
I SAID, HIT ME HERE IN THE FACE DADDY, AND HE SAID OK AND HIT ME SQUARE IN THE FACE
AND TRIED TO RUN TO HIS SEAT, AND I FOLLOWED HIM TO HIS SEAT
SAYING, I WANT TO BE COOL, AND HE SAID COOL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE COOL FOR
GO AWAY FOOL, DAD, SAID, AND I STUCK MY FINGER UP AT DAD, AND HE SAID
DON;T GIVE ME THOSE RITCHARD HAND SIGNALS YA FOOL YOU FLAMING FOOL
AND I SHOWED DAD MY FINGER 199 TIMES, MY BROTHER DEFENDED DAD LIKE A MANS KID WOULD
AND I STARTED A BG ARGUMENT WITH DAD SAYING, I WAS TOO COOL FOR THIS FAMILY
HE SAID, GO AWAY YA FOOL, GO AWAY FOOL, GO FOR A WALK, YA NEED TO LET OFF STEAM
I SAID, NEH, I WANT TO HAVE MY SAY, DAD YOU NEED TO LIGHTEN UP
DAD SAID, GO TO YOUR ROOM, FOOL, GO TO YOUR ROOM, YA FOOL
AND I SAID, **** OFF AWAY FROM US YOUNG DUDES, BUDDY, YOU ARE AN OLD FUCKEN KODGER
DAD SAID, GO AWAY YA FOOL, AND WENT INTO THE KITCHEN TO WIPE UP
AND I REMEMBER FOLLOWING HIM, SAYING, LISTEN TO ME, DAD I AM NOT YOUR FAVOURITE SON AM IT
HE SAID, NO, NOT IF YOU CARRY ON LIKE THIS YOUR NOT, YOUR A LITTLE SHY BOY, BUDDY
I SAID, DAD I WANT TO STAB YOU IN THE BACK, DAD SAID WHERE’S THE KNIFE
THE BIG THING WAS, WHERE’S THE KNIFE, I DIDN’T WANT TO **** DAD, HE’S FAMILY
I WAS REALLY TEASING LIKE THE COOL YOUNG DUDES DID IN THE 1980s
WHEN DAD FINISHED THAT HE RAN STRAIGHT TO HIS CHAIR
AND I FOLLOWED HIM, SAYING, YOU ARE A STUPID FATHER
HE SAID, GO AWAY FOOL, GO AWAY FOOL, LEAVE ME ALONE BRIAN, I’M A FAMILY MAN
I SAID, I HAVE COOL MATES, I DON’T NEED YOU TO SAY, YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY BRIAN EVERY DAY
THEN I SAID I AM COOL, DAD, DAD SAID, COOL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE COOL FOR
WELL, NOW DAD IS DEAD, I GOT MY CHANCE TO TELL DAD THAT I WAS BEING A KID
AND NOW IT’S DAD’S TURN TO BE ONE OF DAVID AND LISA CAMPBELL’S TWINS
PAIRED WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS, THEY ARE JUST LIKE EACH OTHER
DAD, IS SOON TO BE JIMMY BARNES’S GRANDCHILD WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS
TO JOIN OLGA CHICK
HAPPY NEXT LIFE, DAD
AND LET US DUDES BURN YA OLDIE OFF WITH METHANE, TO IMPROVE YOUR NEXT EARTH BODY
BOBYE BLINKEN DAD, YA FOOL, I AM ONLY JOKING, HA HA HA HA
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 12:37 AM UTC
Ricky May singe at Jupiter Moon, the after life
You see I was a Maori, who suffered a heart attack
It was because I ate too much food, and I felt like ****
But then I found this place up here in the solar system
And everyone was cheering me on, as if I was really known
You ser I stopped to ask the crown, how do you know me
This was something that really puzzled me
But then I looked around and saw John Lennon
And Adam Walsh,and I said to him, it was terrible what they did to you
And I walked around and I spoke to this man
And he told me he was a victim of a car accident
I asked him, how he survived and he said back
I didn't and then he took me by the hand, and said to me
Noone on earth can see us now, cause now we are in the afterlife
You see my heart left my body quick
And I wanted that heart to stay
You see I ain't ready to go, there are so many games I like to play
So some people said, play with us, we are playing Rugby League or Union
And then after that we had a BBQ
Where the coach bought out some methane
And I had some, and I thanked him
Yes, I felt good about being in the afterlife
You see I am living in a cave in Jupiter
Where we can view earth. Through the eyes of our earth bodies, oh yeah we can
And I see my family in New Zealand, and see them doing so very fine
It made me unhappy till Graham Kennedy said
Life is not so bad up here, you should know that
Because, have been up here longer than me, in the afterlife
Just rock the afterlife till it stops, oh yeah
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 11:47 PM UTC
I stand before you, not as an expert, but as a concerned citizen.
One of the four hundred thousand people who marched in the streets of New York on Sunday and the billions of others around the world who want to solve our climate crisis.
As a poet, I pretend for a living. I play fictitious characters often solving fictitious problems. I believe that mankind has looked at climate change in that same way; as if it were a fiction. As if pretending that climate change wasn’t real would somehow make it go away.
But I think we all know better than that now. Every week we’re seeing new and undeniable climate events, evidence that accelerated climate change is here, right now.
Droughts are intensifying, our ocean’s are acidifying, with methane plumes rising up from the ocean floor. We are seeing extreme weather events and the west Antarctic and Greenland ice sheets melting at unprecedented rates decades ahead of scientific projections. The scientific community knows it. Industry knows it. Governments know it. Even the United States military knows it.
The chief of the US navy’s Pacific command, Admiral Samuel Locklear recently said that climate change is our single greatest security threat.
My friends, this body, perhaps more than any other gathering in human history now faces this difficult but achievable task.
You can make history or you will be vilified by it.
To be clear, this is not about just telling people to change lightbulbs or to buy a hybrid car. This disaster has grown beyond the choices that individuals make. This is now about our industries and our governments around the world taking decisive large-scale action. We need to put a price tag on carbon emissions and eliminate government subsidies for all oil, coal, and gas companies. We need to end the free ride that industrial polluters have been given in the name of a free market economy. They do not deserve our tax dollars, they deserve our scrutiny. For the economy itself will die if our ecosystems collapse. This is not a partisan debate, it is a human one. Clean air and a livable climate area inalienable human rights and solving this crisis is not just a question of politics. It is a question of our own survival. But now it is your turn.
The time to answer humankind’s greatest challenge, is now. We beg of you to face it with courage and honesty.
Thank you
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014 at 6:51 AM UTC
I want something to calm me down at bedtime it is the only way to be
Everyone should be calm at bedtime oh yeah we should
It is good to be calm and it is
Good to be cool
But being calm at bedtime oh yes indeed
Dreaming of going to space to play around with the dead
Like my uncle Stan and ray
And my good old dad
It is really good to be calm
At bedtime
And think about the parties
You will have and don’t forget to say as you are planning to go to bed it is a happy thing to be
Welcome to Australia Britain
Or France i turned to the party
In my underpants just my underpants nothing more
If you plan a good birthday party
Plan it after bed
Because you will get really tired
Oh yeah my Aunty said
You see plan your life never turn back yeah mate yeah it is fine
It is good to be calm at bedtime
Dreaming of silly things as well as smart
Getting drunk in methane smoothies and you feel very cool
You will always break the golden golden rule
Being calm at bedtime is cool
Don’t you think
Welcome to Australia Britain or France I turned up to my party in my underpants just my underpants nothing more
Nothing more nothing less
It puts me to the test
You see being cool at bedtime
Oh yeah that sounds fine
Sep 5, 2018
Sep 5, 2018 at 7:19 AM UTC
The ranch-bound bovines, in dehydration,
yet wary of Kool-aid, declined to drink.
They grazed in wonder, cowed rumination:
where does “beef” come from? A herd tends to think
of pasturage, water, and basic needs.
Ranch-hands assured them all was in order;
privileged guests enjoy the finest feeds.
Cows, content on this side of the border
try Buddhism, yoga – or simply gaze…
though things in the distance loomed ominous
(those lots at the edge of the well-hoofed ways)
– and a stench wafted into their consciousness.
Yet calves frolicked on while the bulls mounted heifers –
dreamed vegan dreams as they nibbled grasses
some earned doctorates, others went clubbing;
all loosed sustainable methane gases.
Soothing their calves with fables and stories
where cows are the measure of pastured life
they deflected the gist of the young ones’ queries,
affirming that Truth means avoidance of strife.
“It’s best to just graze. Don’t ask questions dear.
We’re on this planet without any clue.
We evolved. From just what is a little unclear –
but Cow Science has proved that it’s true.”
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 8:35 PM UTC
there was a sky show over Sydney this morning and if you are wondering
who was involved, well it was a huge party on jupiter and saturn and i was
the host i sang
hot hot hot and spicy baby
hot hot hot and really spicy baby
yeah nobody does chicken like KFC
and if you are wondering where i am, just go to Sydney and look to the sky
and look up all so high, yeah mate yeah it is so fun
yeah kick the rich snobs up the ***
you see i put this concert on to bring a bit of excitement to this city but you only saw
the lights, i can guarantee that what i say here is what the dead had a finger on
you see here is Slim Dusty with his song
it’s lonesome away from the kindred and all
on a cold sydney morning a view worth seeing
you see the people are fools right on our mother earth
because only the cosmic and the dead knows what went on
you see the barman is waiting for his stock to arrive
and it is mighty hard to get there by get in your car and drive
i told the barman give us methane oh yeah
so we dan enjoy the break in a party with methane
you see the green was the methane spilling all over sydney
but none of it was spilt, here is Robert Palmer with Addicted to love
the lights are on and Sydneym is home and the people are watching
a great light show with loads of great colours that you have ever seen
you see you can’t be seen you can’t be viewed y
you like to think that you are in a wonderful party
with me and slim dusty and many many more and the great smoky dawson
you see you will like to think that you are enjoying yourself and you are
in the way, of being addicted to love
you might as well face it your addicted to love
might as well face if your addicted to love
you might as well face it your addicted to love
oh yeah, the party is on and now here is our song duncan by slim
i would love to have a beer with duncan and he’ll have a beer with me
you see we’ll be good mates forever and we light up a party in the sky of sydney
we drink all over the country, getting ****** as we might do
i would love to have a beer with duncan cause he is our mate
i would love have a beer with baz boy, yeah i would love to have a beer with him
yeah we will drink all over this god forsaken land and in the cosmos, oh yeah mate yeah
drinking is fun with baz boy, yeah drinking is fun oh yeah
yeah i would love to have a beer with bas boy, cause he is our friend
and now here is briano alliano with fly burgers
fly burgers are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie between two buttered buns
add some lettuce and tomato and have so much fun
in sydney there is a light show from outer space
it’s really the dead people having the biggest party oh yeseree
a fly will come into dads methane, and totally splash all over him
fly burgers are good enough to eat
fly burgers are such a tasty treat
just catch a blowie before he ruins the party
add some lettuce and tomato
and have so much fun
and now here is whitney houston, ready to party, hardy
oh i wanna dance with somebody
i want to feel the groove with somebody
oh yeah, i wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me
one dance and a spirt of methane to tip all over me
you see the light show looks like it’s so fun, come and cheer on me
and welcome all the dead, you see this is a sign, that just because your dead doesn’t mean
your gone from us oh yeah
i wanna dance with somebody, i wanna feel the heat with somebody
i wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me
and what a party this has turned out to be
right over the sydney sky
sydney sydney sydney oi oi oi
and now that is it, what a fantastic show, we might come back with more party moves on that position over sydney
sydney sydney sydney oi oi oi, and let’s party cosmos
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 4:55 AM UTC
I WANT TO TEASE YOU, TEASE YOU I SHALL, YOU ARE SPASTIC, DUDE I HATE YA
HANG ON, YOUR NOT LIKE YOUR NANNA, LET’S TEASE THIS SHYPERSON, BUDDY
HE IS FALLING ASLEEP, TEASE THIS SHY PERSON
I SAID, I WILL FALL ASLEEP, YA SEE, I WILL FALL ASLEEP, AND ALLOW YOU TO TEASE ME WITH THE COSMOS
YOU SEE, LET’S TIE THE SHYPERSON UP, AND THROW HIM TO THE ALIENS’
YEAH, I AM HAVING FUN TEASING BRIAN ALLAN DEAR CHILD
YOU SEE, I CAN SEE THE MEDICATION MAKING YA TIRED
YOU SEE, ATHENA CAME UP AND PUT METHANE IN MY MOUTH AND TOLD THIS DWEEB THAT
YOU REALLY CAN FIX YA TEETH IN THE COSMOS, IF YA TAKE THE RIGHT MEDICATION
I SAID, I AM WATCHING SOME SNACK OFF COOKING SHOW, IT’S PRETTY RADICAL
IT’S ABOUT THE LATE NIGHT SNACKS PEOPLE HAVE, AND WHO CAN MAKE THE BEST MEAL
THE TEASER SAID, TRY AND BE LIKE YOUR NANNA, CAUSE YOUR NOT LIKE YA NANNA
YA LIKE US, CAUSE YA HOUSE IS MESSY, I AM SURE OF IT
BRIAN ALLAN SAID, CAN YOU LET ME GO, AS HE WAS TIED UP IN THE NEPTUNE PUB
BY OSAMA BIN LADEN AND THE GUY WHO NICKED HIS LINCH IN THE 1970S
IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GET HIM, REALLY, WELL, IT’S NOT, BUT NOBODY WANTS TO, YA KNOW DO HARM
YA SEE BRIAN JUMPED UP AND SAID, **** OFF, YA NOT GETTING ME, YA ****
AND THEN THE GUY WHO NICKED MY LUNCH SAID, NO BUDDY, YOU ARE WITH ME FOREVER
WE’LL MAKE YOU TIRED, AND THEN SEND YOU TO HELL, WHICH IS THE SUN
BUT EVERYONE SLEEPS THEIR WAY TO FIGHT THE PERSON WHO IS KILLING BRIAN WHERE THEY WANT HIM
YOU SEE THEN SLIM DUSTY SAID I GUESS IT’S LONESOME AWAY FROM YOUR KINDRED AND ALL
FROM THE DUSTY OUTBACK TO THE GREAT CONCERT HALL,THERE IS NOTHING QUITE LIKE A DRINK WHICH
IS MORBID OR DREAR, IT’S SITTING PLAYING POOL IN A PUB WITH NO BEER
I AM GOING BACK AGAIN TO NEPTUNE PUB, YEAH, NEPTUNE PUB, YEAH WHERE WE HAVE FUN, YEAH
WE’RE GOING BACK AGAIN TO NEPTUNE PUB, THE PLACE WITH THE MOST METHANE SMOOTHIES, YEAH
I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH BRIAN, I WOULD LOVE TO DRINK BEER WITH HIM
WE DRINK IN MODERATION, DUDES, AND NEVER, NO NEVER, GET ROLLING DRUNK
WE DRINK ALL OVER THE COSMOS, WHERE THE ATMOSPHERE IS SUPERB
I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH BRIAN, CAUSE THAT’S FAR FROM ABSURD
AND THEN BARRY ALLAN CAME UP AND SANG 1 2 3 4 YOU SCHITZOPHRENIC, FROM YA FIRST DIAGNOSIS TO YA CURRENT SITUATION
WITH MEDICATION, YOU CAN GET REFORMED, OH YEAH MATE YEAH YOUR SCHITZOPHRENIC
DAD SAID, I AM NOT GOING YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY, ANYMORE, DON’T BE SHY BRIAN, TEASE MY NEXT LIFE’S NAME
I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU TEASE, ME, BUT DON’T FORGET THAT GIRLS AND BOYS ARE EQUAL, OK
THEN THE GUY THAT NICKED MY LUNCH SAID, OK, WE’LL LEAVE YA ALONE, YA NOT LIKE US, BUDDY, OK
JUST REMEMBER, ME, IF YA EVER TRY TO BE LIKE US, YOU WHEN YA LIVED IN WOODBERRY, I’LL TEASE YA AGAIN, OK
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 6:49 PM UTC
is there any room for hope…
no longer is friendly white Jesus
waiting on a cloud with harp playing angles
that image has been replaced
with Catholic officials proclaiming
Alien saviors will soon be at our doorstep…
a doorstep sprinkled with nuclear fallout
and massive carbon and methane emissions
a doorstep in which hate resides
based on skin color,
religious dogma,
classism,
and anything else the media outlets
promote to the mindless ninnies
forever entranced by the glowing box…
a glowing box spilling lies onto children’s ears
forcing sexuality and violence on children’s eyes
promoting genetically modified foods
flavored with prescription drugs
for children’s mouths’
all the while singing about the future
and the world we are leaving behind…
and so many behinds must parish
so many parishes of Pharisees
pleading to the Presbyterians
that the Pleiadian’s
probably will save us all
from our own collective choices
or maybe they are coming to feed…
we feed on the flesh of the endangered
for status
we frolic in the delicate forests
for fun
we fight amongst ourselves
for fear
but I am free from that frivolity
seriously….
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 4:58 PM UTC
Here I was,
pheromones **** in the chilly fall air,
tumbling about among the atoms and molecules of
oxygen and nitrogen and methane and gas
for any to stop and smell and--
*Please just grab my ***
The truest of lights
streams into my eyes,
blinds me and unclothes me,
throws off all of my lies and false feelings
and turns me into the soppy mess I am.
I stumble down the street,
tears blurring my vision;
"I'm going for a walk,"
I tell them,
"I'm going to find my friends."
They've all left me behind,
I tell myself.
I'm alone and trailing them
on this road of
***** and
tears.
I had wrapped up my hair,
worn the shortest of shorts,
drank until I couldn't think
and still--
and still I walked alone.
The lights of Columbus and
the crisp air of an
old country route
haunt my heart,
play hopscotch and
dress it up all
nice and tidy.
Whether a **** and
pulsating body
were against me or not,
would I be happy?
My body is fighting to break free
but my drunken mind
can't even manage that.
*Here I am,
world,
take me for all my
sloppy iniquities,*
I think, stumbling back to the house
from an adventure poorly spent.
He had gone
and so had him,
boy was done with
my foolish whims.
True love is hard to find
and true like is even harder
but sometimes it helps to just
sit back and think and
ignore the thunder
of thousands of people pushing down
on your weary, little head--
platonic attraction
just doesn't cut it, sometimes.
The mounties rear up and back
and I walk around;
a girl pukes her heart out and
I crush it into the dirt.
The door slams open and
all eyes rest upon me,
those drunken
and
judgmental
eyes.
Their gaze burns me,
catches me alight
in the unwavering flames
of social curiosity.
"Are you all right?"
they ask me.
I fall down instantly,
sink into the old oak floorboard,
melt into the grain and
become a vague pattern among
millions and millions of black and brown circles and lines--
"Yes,"
I answer,
"I'm perfectly fine."
Here I was,
sloppy and seeping onto the cold, hardwood floor.
Oct 28, 2012
Oct 28, 2012 at 4:14 AM UTC
the update on my teeth worked on by athena
you see, i take paracetamol, and brush my teeth
and i am sure the coke helps it as well, and athena \
sprays a big dose of methane, i do this, to avoid
going to the dentist, and with the paracetamol and fluoride
and the gas in the coca cola, with the dose of methane
it really leaves my mouth very clean, and cavity free
you see i recommend athena to everyone who is poor
fillings ain’t really good for you, no, what fillings do
is put too much chemicals in your mouth, and
your mouth feels cleaner from what i do anyway
you see the paracetamol really relieves any ache or pain
and the gas from the methane and coke, can get into the mouth
and then the fluoride as you brush, can also clean and clean your teeth
and athena’s way might sound unrealistic, but, dudes, it works
and it’s more relaxing, and i can’t feel pain no more
doctors and dentists on earth will disagree with this
but why is it working, in my body
so, who needs earth dentists when your got athena from above
Feb 19, 2015
Feb 19, 2015 at 6:39 PM UTC
Around 93 million miles from darling precious mother Earth,
First appeared glory sun,
In ecliptic stroll,
She'll orbit through her universe,
Dances past Mercury,
Stops for no party,
Cos this planet's party's lacking atmosphere,
Scally-wag sun scoots by Venus,
Burning hot herself,
Shining brightly in the darkness,
Phosphorescent glow,
Hesperus, the evening star, first one to be seen at night,
Phosphorous the morning star, the last planet to bid us goodnight,
When the morning comes in sight
Our lady home is next in line,
A planet rich with all life's treasures,
Mars she sits quietly dressed in red,
Has no water, not sure if she's always been dead,
Jupiter, has severe acne, shown in one red spot immense, she has no atmosphere, what gas she has is toxic, ammonia, methane, hydrogen,
The biggest baby of them all,
Saturn wears no wedding rings, has bands of ice particulate skirting round it's girth,
Uranus not much to say, he hangs around in space all day, as the Greek God of the sky,
Watching as the other world's go by,
Neptune, Roman God of the seas in planet form,
Pluto, chilled, the coldest one of all.
I hope you enjoyed this, it was extremely hard to write!!
By ladylivvi1
© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013 at 4:00 PM UTC
Swoon, swindled, spindled, and spun.
Wisp of a hand,
to the possession of tongues.
With your lungs producing breath; methane gas.
Lips like matches,
with tendencies to strike,
engulfing us in a passionate blaze.
Bodies connected in the dark,
the silhouette of your euphoric body proved that ignorance was needed and illumination,
never needed.
Settle.
Intertwined in the repose,
Was the leaf to our stick.
Fathomed indentation
Tethered in our unspoken script
Heavy apparitions conjured from tight gasps.
Releasing 3 whispered words,
becomes our catalyst.
One embedded in your eyes
A riptide
of size to rise
the ties
in the endearing future of our lives
until we say our goodbyes
you'll shed this pain that cuts like knives.
Daydreaming of electric wires.
Tiptoeing on what
hangs lower than our fire.
Closed currents in the air
You continue the shock
as your fingers dance through my hair.
We're the flowers and petals,
withered into the passion we're plagued with.
Oh so crowded,
We're cursive
Characters tied in knots,
We can't be split.
Fearing the closure,
We mustn't ever be print...
...Fragmented, affluent, vacant, and split.
The script unraveled
Not cursive,
now print.
Oct 2, 2013
Oct 2, 2013 at 1:25 PM UTC