Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
King Panda Jan 2016
I walk through campus wearing
black leggings and those faded, leather
boots. I’m even wearing an
infinity scarf I bought full price at
Anthropologie and a pair of tiger-striped
cat eye sunglasses. ****, I look good.

On top of it, I’m smoking a Parliament
menthol, my red-lined lips whipping
smoke into the dead air, creating
a grey cloud that some would call cancerous and
others, ****.

But no one notices me, and, candidly, I
am okay with that because I notice me, and
I am a big red dance button that demands to
be pushed. So, I push myself and
groove down the brown brick road all the way
to classroom 114 in the science building.
w y n n e Nov 2016
18
Lahat naman tayo nakaramdam na ng lungkot
Lungkot na hindi mo alam kung saan nagmula
Lungkot na hindi mo alam kung ano ang dahilan
Lungkot na hindi mo alam kung ano ang kinahihinatnan
Pero ang pinaka-nakakalungkot sa lahat e yung puno ng tao sa isang kwarto
Puno ng tunog at salita
Puno ng biruan at tawanan
Pero ramdam **** maiiyak ka
Ramdam **** hindi ka nababagay sa lugar na naroon ka
Sa pagkakataong ito, hindi mo alam kung bakit hindi mo kayang makisali at magkunwaring masaya nalang
Kung sa mga nakaraang araw kinaya mo naman
Nakakapagod ano?
Nakakapagod magkunwaring masaya
Nakakapagod magkunwaring kaya mo pa
Pero alam naman natin
Eto yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin ng pahinga
Eto yung pagod na hindi kayang idaan sa alak o ng yosi man lang
Eto yung pagod na hindi kayang idaan sa maghapong hilata sa kama
Eto yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin o kahit dampi ng matinding menthol ng salonpas sa nangangalay na kasu-kasuan
Etong yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin ng efficascent oil na suki ng buong pamilya
Eto yung pagod na dama ng kaibuturan at kaluluwa
Eto yung pagod na mahirap punan ng lunas kasi hindi mo alam kung bakit ang bigat sa pakiramdam
Iyong pag napabayaan o mali ang diagnosis mo e pwedeng lumikha ng sanga-sangangang maliit at mas komplikadong dahilan ng kapaguran
Kung pwede lang mapawi ang lungkot sa bawat malalim na buntong hininga ang ngalay na dama ng kaluluwa
Yung tuwang hatid damay lahat ng parte ng kabuuan
Isama mo pa pati yung sangkatutak na split ends mas lalo na ang mga pimples na ayaw kang lubayan
Alam ko,  pagod ka narin
Sadyang nakakapagod lang talagang gumising sa umagang walang kulay
Sa mundong malawak at mapaglaro
Sa mga tulang isinulat pero walang laman
Sa mga nasambit na salitang wala man lang naantig
Sa mga matang blanko na walang ningning
Sa mga patok na banat pero hindi naman nakinabang
Sa mga mensahe sa inbox na puro lang chain messages ang laman galing sa kakilala **** di na umahon sa pagiging jejemon
Sa mga text ni Baby aka 8888 na pinapaalala kang expired na pala ang iyong load pero syempre biro lang hindi ka naman nagpapaload, expired na pala sim mo kasi isang taon ka ng hindi nagpapaload
Talaga namang nakakapagod ang mundo
Minsan nga nakakagago
Itulog nalang natin 'to, ano?
Ayan tayo e, dinadaan sa tulog ang lahat
Pero malay mo nga naman, baka sakaling sa mahabang paglimot sa mundo, isang panaginip lang pala ang lahat ng sakit
Hindi lang siguro dahil tamad kaya natutulog pero eto na marahil yung senyales ng pagsuko sa laban
Sa pagpiling takasan panandalian ang buhay at baka sakaling sa panaginip matupad ang nais ng puso
Kasi sa totoong buhay ang hirap tanggapin ang bawat sampal ng pagkabigo
Yung bang dalawang klase ng pagkabigo
Yung todo bigay ka sa una pero bokya ka parin
At yung isa naman, yung natatakot ka ng sumunggab at tinikop ka na agad ng takot
Beterana na nga ata sa larangan ng pagiging olats
Nganga kung nganga
Nada kung nada
Itlog kung itlog
Pero hindi pa tapos ang kwento
Malayo pa ang lalakbayin
May natitira pa naman sigurong alas dyan na di pa naitataya
Positibo naman ako na sa negatibong sitwasyon makakaalpas din
Lahat naman ng bagay lumilipas, parang yung paboritong pantalon na sa kakasuot unti-unting kumukupas
Tulad ng chika ng karakter sa pinapanood kong korean nobela, Fighting daw!
Minsan may pakinabang din pala ang pagharap sa telebisyon sa ganitong pagkakataon
Ngayon, alas otso medya ng gabi sinusulat ang mga katagang nais ilabas ng puso
Habang wala pang tugon mula sa itaaas
Salamat sa oras na tibok ng puso
Kakapit muna ako kay Captain Yoo
Sa seryoso pero nakakakilig na ugali,
Sa swabe niyang mga the moves,
Sa grabehan niyang mga titig,
At sa mala-fairytale nilang storya,
Captain, ako nalang please!
Ang huling pagkapagod kong nais ireklamo
Siguro sa paghihintay na may isang Captain Yoo Shijin na darating, na kikiliti sa pagod kong puso at magbibigay ng rasong ipagpatuloy ang labang kinapusan na ng dahilan.
Nymeriari Jan 25
malamig sa isang silid
may kasamang pighati, saya at lungkot
sa bawat paghinga,
ramdam ang pagbagsak ng luha.

magkakahiwalay na tayo
sakit na tila kinukurot ang puso
sakit na walang ibang lunas,
kundi ang pagsasamahan nating nabuo.

sinulat ko ang tulang ito
para kahit ako'y lilisan na
maaari ko pang balikan lahat.
lahat ng alaala at samahan,

mga alaala na hindi ko makakalimutan,
katulad ng...
habang tayo'y naghihintay ng ticket
habang tayo'y nagbabasa ng email thread
habang tayo'y nakaupo sa isang silid

nagkukwentuhan,
nagtititigan,
nagmamasid,
naglalaro ng moba,
nanonood ng youtube,
nakahawak sa mga selpon.

na tila bigla bigla tayong natinag
sa mga boss na dumadaan
na kahit sa dami natin sa area
nagawa parin tayong turuan
at pag tiyagaan nila sir at ma'am.

napaka-lungkot lang isipin,
na ang ating samahan,
sa kathang-isip na lamang.

alam ko lahat naman tayo nakaramdam na ng lungkot
lungkot na hindi mo alam kung saan nagmula
lungkot na hindi mo alam kung ano ang dahilan
lungkot na hindi mo alam kung ano ang kinahihinatnan

pero ang pinaka-nakakalungkot sa lahat
yung puno ng tao sa isang silid.
puno ng tunog at salita 
puno ng biruan at tawanan
pero ramdam **** maiiyak ka
ramdam **** hindi ka nababagay sa lugar na naroon ka

sa pagkakataong ito, hindi mo alam kung bakit hindi mo kayang makisali at magkunwaring masaya nalang 
kung sa mga nakaraang araw kinaya mo naman
nakakapagod mag-isip.

pero alam naman natin
ito yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin ng pahinga 
ito yung pagod na hindi kayang idaan sa alak o ng yosi man lang
ito yung pagod na hindi kayang idaan sa maghapong hilata sa kama

ito yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin o kahit dampi ng matinding menthol ng salonpas sa nangangalay na kasu-kasuan
Ito yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin ng efficascent oil na suki ng buong pamilya

ito yung pagod na dama ng kaibuturan at kaluluwa
ito yung pagod na mahirap punan ng lunas kasi hindi mo alam kung bakit ang bigat sa pakiramdam

iyong pag napabayaan o mali ang diagnosis mo e pwedeng lumikha ng sanga-sangangang maliit at mas komplikadong dahilan ng kapaguran
kung pwede lang mapawi ang lungkot sa bawat malalim na buntong hininga ang ngalay na dama ng kaluluwa

yung tuwang hatid damay lahat ng parte ng kabuuan
isama mo pa pati yung sangkatutak na split ends mas lalo na ang mga pimples na ayaw kang lubayan
alam ko, napapagod rin kayo
sadyang nakakapagod lang talagang gumising sa umagang walang kulay
sa mundong malawak.

pero nandyan ang ngiti na nakikita mo mula sa ibang tao,
na nakikita ko mula sa inyo.
ngiting kay gaan sa pakiramdam,
na tila nangangawit na ang pisngi dahil sa ayaw humupa ng ngiti.

Salamat sa mga binigay niyong mga ngiti.
Na nakakapawi ng pighati,
Salamat,
Salamat dahil naging parte kayo ng talata ng buhay ko.
#TSG #OJTdays
corpser May 2018
The night is **** warm and there are thunderclouds looming in the horizon. Its skies are neatly stained with a *** stain looking stain of clouds, scattered in the yellow moon of 7pm.

I walked past a wake tonight, then a funeral then the graveyard. Im walking out to buy some cigarettes, menthol for my mother and reds for myself.

The night is a ticking time bomb rigged to blow. Like the pulsing ache in my head or the medicine in my mouth waiting to be crushed between my teeth.
Instruction says I should **** on it as long as I can. Says its supposed to relieve the pain.

I fight back the urge to bite. I fight back the urge to do a lot of things.

The ticking timebomb
Does not explode.
Rough hands
crush a menthol
cigarette
stained
with red wine
& my red lips
he crushes
it slowly
& crushes
my dreams
as he inhales toxicity
and exhales my love
Anna Patricia Jul 2018
where did i lose my warmth?
at which place had i turned my switch?

in starbucks? secondhand bookstores?
was it in the local bar or the liquor store?
in houses i crashed, couches i spent the night on
or of dorm rooms i slept at and sheets i found comfortable?

to what girl had i offered it in lieu of the rush?

had i made the trade with the girl
who dragged me through unlit streetlights
as she had her lips perched on mine,
opened my heart with intensity that made her tremble
and eventually turned me into a massive mess.
was it her? i was always too drunk to recall.

or perhaps i gave it away, little by little
to the bartender in a black shirt
with a walrus at the back,
and his sadness was seen in his eyes every night.
we never really spoke.
i ask for shots, he gives them to me.
but he understood. i know he always did.
he looks at me in a way.
all fuckups know why we do the things we do
was it with him?

or was it the cigarette lady
from where i lit my first menthol stick
and swallowed the cough
that i really wanted to release?

maybe it goes farther back

had i lost my warmth in words?
in unsent text messages?
literature? poetry? essays? prose?
metaphors – not at all.

i lost it when i was eight
when i knew about my father's infidelity
when i felt my first rejection
when i felt so unwanted
when my heart broke for my mom
there, in that very dark room had i lost it all.

but the better question should be:
was it ever there?
Robin Carretti Aug 2018
We are heating up
A-glow--- A-star--- A-blaze
Many other well-lit planets
She's luminous like no other
Simply crazed__Fairytales

*She's Peach-Fruitti-Tutti
Godiva loves nuts
All the melt in's
*
Mr. Bacio-Hazelnut*
Mr. Pistacchio he got his nose______

Inside their sweets____Pinnochio
She's the Light-up Icecream Cone  

Moods are like ice cubes
hot and cold websites
I prefer cold zone
Feeling like
Eskimo in Alaska


Miss Prima Donna
Oh! Donna is her name
Gelatos are not all the same
We are not here to have
special privileges

Robin lost some ruffles
Polar bears ice Igloo
College boys with their sports mug
Polo shirts Santa hoo duffle bags
We don't know what she knows
or what he likes the stars
of the Cosmo we are not
here to win someone's love
OH! Yes Lotto

We are not professors or wizards
Harry Potters, they have some
Pots not a fan of pans got
some ****
**** so cool menthol smoke indeed
Around the Gelato in eighty days
The Race of a drive

computer clicks one-day creation flag
Hens and chicks laid the golden egg

Mr. Egghead meeting Conehead

His tasters choice  
 She loves Mr. Maxwell Mansion
This is Italy the Art sculptures
Sweet Gelato lips say a
thousand words of pleasure
We travel with Exotic lovebirds
Saving the Ice blue diamond
Icecream wreck what a she
gains more than a pound
Mama Mia,
not the Chia job plant
 Over the rainbow
chill out pants
Having Gelato clean
as mint float

To the waffle cone top
of the mountain sugar coat
Niagara Falls here
"Gelato calls"

What spaghetti my name is
Carretti

Mr. Alfredo his physique and
passion for food
Feeling like the comics
Having fun marveling
Carvel walking through
the love tunnel
  
Hot ladies how do they ever
Decide iced up inside

Hothead Alfredo throws
the dough
She coughs he laughs
The pizza everyone's
the head is turning beet red
Something is burning exorcist,
Lady in red pizza list

Back in Brooklyn best
Pizza and Italy (Rome) Venice (Florence)
But Bensonhurst Saturday night fever
With Nightingale Mr. Chippendale
He's chatting away on his cell phone

With her Gelato looking at the
stars of the men spiritual experience
The Cosmos feeling meltdown presence
St Thomas sunny like yellow
gelato melting

Being a saint please don't faint
A food critic dessert
*** a hex playful flirt
T Rex mighty green lime
The love fallout of coconut
He's the hottest man
on earth Pluto
Being whole flavor or 1/2 pint
of Vanilla Sky scholar or
Intermission Icecream internship
The Canadian cup another trip

  Nike air what an ice cream pair
Going back to New York City
Rockettes icecream kick
He's on his time feeling the royalty
Lets bow to the dogs best friend
French barrette in her ice blue
Corvette, she is 'Ice Queen"
Super Ice me, Hero

Do what the Romans do
Lend me your warm soul of hands
Getting married Italian medieval rings
For my next Gelato adventure
escape be polite on Google
Mr. Alfredo loves all kinds of noodle
The shape of Cone's to come in her head

Not an Antman, please or fly by night
Icecream Cone Head Batman
*But I am a woman named Robin
Christopher Robin, Robin Hood
Why are boys and girls name alike
**** good humor lady
Good humor truck
Where is her order head chef
shrimp scampi
In the islands of Sorrento

What a time for ironing
What a waffle shirt eating
his waffle
Icecream with ladybugs and dirt
So many varieties mental thing
Everything icecream you scream
What a college Varsity every year  
"Hot lady Gelato's" head of the dean
list oh! No
[Mr. Alfredo} ice cream chair with
another Gelato pair
Chiao for now
Gelato went a little too far I love Gelato lets travel with Robin and get some unbelievable Gelato but we need to go to Italy I was there it's amazing
I will let you drink native coffee
even though i know you only drink milk tea.

I will leave cheesy notes on your desk,
menthol candies in every bag you have,
books in your car so there's always a reason for you to see me.
I will say yes without a doubt if you ask me for a long walk.

I take a moment after reading a book or after watching a movie.
It's crazy but you have to cry with me or just deal with it.

I will love you the exact way I always wanted to be loved.

There will be hundreds of indie songs in your playlist.
More spicy foods to eat.
More hugs than you could
have ever imagined.

My hair tie on your wrist in case i lose one,
the smell of my relief rubs on your shirt,
hijab pins all over your car seat.

I make the best seaweed salad.
You'll be the food tasting king.

I can't drive a car.
But i kinda know how skateboard
works.

I write down everything when i can't handle what's in my head,
and i'm out of words when you are in it.

I will randomly call you in the middle of the night just to say random things.
And you will say,
'I am the luckiest man to have you.'
But i will argue and say,
'No! I am because when you first laid your  eyes on me, i knew then, i found my home.'

And we'll end up meeting at a 24 hour pizza place or a japanese restaurant
nearby and make fun of our cheesiness.
Skyla Dec 2018
Diet cokes, menthol smokes
Flavoured water, sugar free gum
A bottle of liquor, and a bottle of Tums
Apple slices, plain lettuce leaves
Bitter black coffee, bitter green tea

Sugar free, dairy free, and fats aren’t very nice (BOTH fat and fats aren’t nice)
Carbs are the devil, so don’t be a rebel, and DON’T complain or put up a fight

Gluten free, soy free, and no I’m not allergic, these things are just extra ingredients that will pollute my insides and I NEED to be the closest living, breathing thing to emptiness as possible.

Whoever said to “accept yourself for who you are” has clearly never seen a model
The thinner is the winner, but in order to be thinner, you’ve gotta be a sinner,
Go against the rules of what everyone wants, because everyone wants you to stay fat and **** so that way they can be better than you.  

Whoever said to “love yourself” probably wants a skinny body, but they can’t refrain from the ice cream tub
Whoever said “all bodies are beautiful” just wants an excuse to eat more chocolate cake
Whoever said “Anorexia is a disease” clearly has never experienced the pure ecstasy that comes from fasting or feeling dizzy and thin at the same ******* time
Whoever said ”skinny doesn’t matter” clearly wasn’t skinny themselves, were they?

Whoever said “eating disorders ****”
Well... is right.

— The End —