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"melodramatic" poems
can you ***** my finger and measure the dopamine in my veins? collect my teardrops and tell me if i'm going to be okay? can you light up the darkness with magical pills? decide if i'm too sad to go to school? can you tell me if i'm just being melodramatic? measure my blood pressure, maybe that will work. write me a prescription for 5 Happy Days in a row, and 3 hugs from Someone I Love. doctor, doctor i'm not feeling well today doctor, doctor i don't know if i should stay sadness isn't a sickness, but it's infected my mind. can you write me some antibiotics to get them out in time? sadness isn't sickness, but i think i might've caught something from doing a little too much of Having No Friends. don't you know how much i've been Laying In Bed? sadness isn't sickness, but i think i'm coming down doctor, doctor i've got a severe case of the I Don't Want To Lives can you write me a prescription? make it go away? doctor, doctor you've let me down this time doctor, doctor i'm not in my prime can you tell that i'm not healthy? 'cause i don't think you can oh, sadness isn't sickness, but it's fatal, if all goes according to plan
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Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 2:07 AM UTC
doctor, doctor
Sad because you feel too much Or mad because you can't feel a thing. Greener grass beckons, And you wave to it longingly. Love the rise, Hate the fall. Melodramatic monotone of monotony. Perishable Plateau. Whisk me away into infinity. Dead on arrival. Dead to the world. Dead as a doornail. Stuff me back inside my body Like clothes in a suitcase. I fit. I promise.
0
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 14, 2015 at 7:56 PM UTC
to feel or not to feel
i’ve never had feelings for anyone who could be good for me. i’ve never been interested in someone where a good, healthy relationship could’ve resulted, and maybe that’s why i’m so jaded, because everyone i’ve ever liked has just been a distraction or a house on fire— someone i know i shouldn’t be involved with, but i’ll give myself just a few more days to run around frantically with my hands over my eyes, peaking through the cracks between my fingers, searching for things i know i don’t really need, and then i’ll dash out and run down the driveway and the smog will linger for a little while, and the neighbors will complain, and i’ll sit on the curb with my forehead on my knees, holding nothing but intangible regret. next, i’ll either get over it, or obsessively think about him and the ashes smudged on the inside of my eyelids for longer than my sanity. i’ve never really liked someone and been able to daydream about the real possibility of us turning into something greater; of tire swings and painted mailboxes and overgrown, green lawns. it’s always been pretending and fake hope and melodramatic doom. i think it’s messed up my perception of having feelings for someone, because i can never take it seriously— either i know he’s not right for me, or i know the circumstances prohibit the possibility of us. it makes me never want to give anyone a chance (i can’t even see anyone worth chance-giving) because i know how it ends. i don’t like having this closed off heart so early on; i’m too young to be this bitter.
0
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 10:10 PM UTC
such a sinking feeling
i’ve never had feelings for anyone who could be good for me. i’ve never been interested in someone where a good, healthy relationship could’ve resulted, and maybe that’s why i’m so jaded, because everyone i’ve ever liked has just been a distraction or a house on fire— someone i know i shouldn’t be involved with, but i’ll give myself just a few more days to run around frantically with my hands over my eyes, peaking through the cracks between my fingers, searching for things i know i don’t really need, and then i’ll dash out and run down the driveway and the smog will linger for a little while, and the neighbors will complain, and i’ll sit on the curb with my forehead on my knees, holding nothing but intangible regret. next, i’ll either get over it, or obsessively think about him and the ashes smudged on the inside of my eyelids for longer than my sanity. i’ve never really liked someone and been able to daydream about the real possibility of us turning into something greater; of tire swings and painted mailboxes and overgrown, green lawns. it’s always been pretending and fake hope and melodramatic doom. i think it’s messed up my perception of having feelings for someone, because i can never take it seriously— either i know he’s not right for me, or i know the circumstances prohibit the possibility of us. it makes me never want to give anyone a chance (i can’t even see anyone worth chance-giving) because i know how it ends. i don’t like having this closed off heart so early on; i’m too young to be this bitter.
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1
Tiger, Tiger they all called him. Faces marked with smiles grim. Office buzzed with word tiger, tiger. He was one but many they were. Full day continued insincere flattery. End of month 'twas, day for salary. Then story took melodramatic turn. Like tiger he moved, demeanor stern. Outright he announced party that night. Everyone attended in clothes bright. They gossiped, danced and dined. Happily they all boozed and wined. He sat like a tiger circled by coterie; And the total bill was half the salary. I looked through magnifying glass; And saw pack of wolves and an ***
0
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 6:32 AM UTC
Pack Of Wolves And An ***
Go to class, Grace. Take your medication, Grace. Learn to deal with your emotions, Grace. Try to stay positive and it will all get better, Grace. Why aren't you trying hard enough, Grace? Why are you so quiet, Grace? What's wrong, Grace? I do everything. I call a psychiatrist, I take my medication, I try to hold myself together and be positive and strong and admirable. I do everything a little good girl should do. I don't listen to impulses, I stay quiet until I can't help but cry, I hold myself by threads until I can't hold on anymore. Obviously I'm not trying hard enough. Obviously I'm being melodramatic. Obviously this is my fault. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
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Sep 29, 2015
Sep 29, 2015 at 1:00 PM UTC
Good Girl Grace
How do you think Those mismatched socks feel When you pull them From the dryer. Do they know that they will Never see their match again That they will always be Half of an equation. Do they know that They have lost their purpose Never to be regained. When you pull that single sock From the dryer Does it understand That it will never be complete again. Sometimes I feel Like the mismatched socks. But then I remember That I am melodramatic They are just socks And someday I will find my other sock I will find you.
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Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 12:04 PM UTC
Mismatched Socks
I am so sick of love. Loyalty, honesty, dedication, compassion, compromise, for better or for worse (when it's always worse)! I am so sick of love, and all the drama that accompanies it. Most of all what makes me absolutely ill, in a brain and heart exploding in anger and disappointment respectively, kind of way, are the Lies! "You're all I want", "I need you", "I need a friend", "I still love you", "I will always love you", "Is there any chance?", "Can we get back together?", all the attention seeking, melodramatic, time-consuming crap! Followed by guilt. That nauseous feeling of, what if? What If? WHAT IF? Was it the right thing? Will I find another? What about the broken heart? The sleepless nights of pondering how to end things, the poems written and unpublished, the practising in front of the mirror, cigarettes to channel the guilt elsewhere... For crying out loud! After years of guiding me, I should have given way more credit to my instincts. And now for the new chapter. Embracing an old art, new to me. Currently so underrated and misjudged by priests, mothers and newly-weds.   The philosophy of zero expectations to infinite pleasure and everything in between. No regrets, no time wasted (and hell was my time wasted on you!#$#$#$). Time to give up my soul to the darkness, (God, I hope you'll understand I still love and believe you, but I prayed and prayed. I can't wait any more!) and my body to the sailor boy! Absolutely No Strings Attached. No bull **** no promises, just *** (and cuddles), a lot of *** (and waking up next to him?) Anyway, NO STRINGS ATTACHED! [Except for the invisible, really strong one. He is irresistible after all and I'm a dreamer who never, ever learns, and follows her instincts way too much!] One thing's for sure. I am so profoundly sick of love!
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Oct 13, 2012
Oct 13, 2012 at 6:04 PM UTC
No Strings Attached~
I am so sick of love. Loyalty, honesty, dedication, compassion, compromise, for better or for worse (when it's always worse)! I am so sick of love, and all the drama that accompanies it. Most of all what makes me absolutely ill, in a brain and heart exploding in anger and disappointment respectively, kind of way, are the Lies! "You're all I want", "I need you", "I need a friend", "I still love you", "I will always love you", "Is there any chance?", "Can we get back together?", all the attention seeking, melodramatic, time-consuming crap! Followed by guilt. That nauseous feeling of, what if? What If? WHAT IF? Was it the right thing? Will I find another? What about the broken heart? The sleepless nights of pondering how to end things, the poems written and unpublished, the practising in front of the mirror, cigarettes to channel the guilt elsewhere... For crying out loud! After years of guiding me, I should have given way more credit to my instincts. And now for the new chapter. Embracing an old art, new to me. Currently so underrated and misjudged by priests, mothers and newly-weds.   The philosophy of zero expectations to infinite pleasure and everything in between. No regrets, no time wasted (and hell was my time wasted on you!#$#$#$). Time to give up my soul to the darkness, (God, I hope you'll understand I still love and believe you, but I prayed and prayed. I can't wait any more!) and my body to the sailor boy! Absolutely No Strings Attached. No bull **** no promises, just *** (and cuddles), a lot of *** (and waking up next to him?) Anyway, NO STRINGS ATTACHED! [Except for the invisible, really strong one. He is irresistible after all and I'm a dreamer who never, ever learns, and follows her instincts way too much!] One thing's for sure. I am so profoundly sick of love!
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21
-Light up a cliche under a streetlight while singing "the Star Spangled Banner" and receiving oral from a trans-woman. **** in the drive-thru of an Arby's. -Fist fight a bear that people find much uglier than myself. Made a bucket list of **** I think might be legitimately worth doing; haven't run it by my girlfriend yet. Speaking of which, she deserves a round of applause for dealing with my melodramatic ******** -Strike a police officer, after robbing a bank with a water pistol. I wanted to call her to let her know I'd chased a bird till it crossed the street and tweeted at me in anger or excitement. Flipping the bird "the bird", I shouted, **** YOU BIRD!" and continued home. -Throw a rock at a train. -Toss a Molotov Cocktail at a moving car, and cook a hot dog in the flames. She deserves a million dollars and a ******* Nobel peace prize. -Call one of those panhandling money worshiping televangelists a **** bird, and offer them to **** themselves [the ugliest people I can think of]. -Wear a habit over a burka. I don't believe in souls, soul mates, anything supernatural or special, but I love that woman, and that's why I believe in love. -Not die alone.
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Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 12:51 PM UTC
"If Your Bucket List has Sky Diving, You're a ******** [and Other Statements I'll Regret Saying]."
Sun slits in through slats of kitchen window blinds and she is alone. The art major is cooking spaghetti, pretending her thrifted T-shirt bearing a cotton copy of Campbell's Soup Cans is not stained with tears and blood. Oh, but that's hysterics and hyperbole; art has a tendency of making its worshippers melodramatic...no? The blood is only tomato sauce and the tears... well, what are tears but water and salt? After all, dramatizing the mundane is just one awkward shade of artistic temperament. Visualizing life through a heavy silk screen. The art major sighs and stirs. The spaghetti is redder and redder as she cooks. Just as her paintings bleed more blood as she dangles a brush over them - the teary-eyed watercolours. The art major has decided that drawing out extremities of colour might transform her own life into a pop of a Warhol painting. The art major sighs and stirs. She thinks, tries to think in technicolour. Today's thought-pencilled thesis concludes (like a brush stroke of uncertain finality) that love is the red of tomato soup cans. Anger is the boil, passion is the gulp, danger, caution, warning, the hot breaths, fleeting warmths, the burn and sweet and tang. She looks down at the scarlet of Warhol's soup cans, blooming in worn out cotton on her chest. It might as well be blood, she thinks. It is, it is, it is. Blood red love - tomato soup cans. Sun sets in slits through kitchen window blinds and she is still alone. The art major sighs and stirs. The spaghetti is ready.
0
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 6:41 AM UTC
Warhol
Sun slits in through slats of kitchen window blinds and she is alone. The art major is cooking spaghetti, pretending her thrifted T-shirt bearing a cotton copy of Campbell's Soup Cans is not stained with tears and blood. Oh, but that's hysterics and hyperbole; art has a tendency of making its worshippers melodramatic...no? The blood is only tomato sauce and the tears... well, what are tears but water and salt? After all, dramatizing the mundane is just one awkward shade of artistic temperament. Visualizing life through a heavy silk screen. The art major sighs and stirs. The spaghetti is redder and redder as she cooks. Just as her paintings bleed more blood as she dangles a brush over them - the teary-eyed watercolours. The art major has decided that drawing out extremities of colour might transform her own life into a pop of a Warhol painting. The art major sighs and stirs. She thinks, tries to think in technicolour. Today's thought-pencilled thesis concludes (like a brush stroke of uncertain finality) that love is the red of tomato soup cans. Anger is the boil, passion is the gulp, danger, caution, warning, the hot breaths, fleeting warmths, the burn and sweet and tang. She looks down at the scarlet of Warhol's soup cans, blooming in worn out cotton on her chest. It might as well be blood, she thinks. It is, it is, it is. Blood red love - tomato soup cans. Sun sets in slits through kitchen window blinds and she is still alone. The art major sighs and stirs. The spaghetti is ready.
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67
I love the winter -- oh how I love the cold. The numbing temperature is morphine to my soul. Rushing through my veins, turning my blood to ice A natural drug; my only sense of sanity, my demonic vice And it frees me. I love the winter, and all its melodramatic glamour. There's a sheen of romantic sadness when church bells clammor I love the winter; -- it's when I came out of the Cave. Saw the Truth for what it was, and wrote it down page by page. Leave me with the snow; I want to hear the church bells               ring. -lf-
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Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013 at 11:15 AM UTC
capricorn
if words are food for the mind, then here is a glimpse of mine if words are drugs for the brain, then here is why i'm so pained. abandoned, abhorrent abnormal, absent abstract, abuse addicted, anxious betray, bitterly blank, blasphemy bloodless, breakdown breathless, brutal captive, casually catastrophe, cautiously change, cigarettes crucial, clueless damaged, dangerous deadly, disastrous disheartened, disconcerting dramatic, dreading eager, eccentric ecstasy, eerie effete, effortless embittered, excess faded, failure faintly, fallacy faltering, fatally fearfully, finally garbage, gawky gibberish, gloomy gone, goodbye graphic, gratify hallucinate, harshly hazy, heartless hectic, helpless hesitant, hit-and-miss idiotic, idly ignorant, intimacy illogical, imaginative infatuated, intoxicated jealousy, jittery journey, journal joylessly, judicial junk, juvenile keen, killing knavish, knocking knockout, knotty knowingly, knowledge laborious, lacking lame, languishing lifeless, literature lovelorn, lugubrious madness, maintenance make-believe, malaise mean, melancholic mellow, melodramatic naff, naivety nameless, naturally nauseous, nebulous neglected, nervous oasis, objectionable obliged, obliterate oblivion, obscurity obsolete, one-and-only pacifist, pained pale, panicky paradise, paralyze passionately, passively raging, ranting rationalize, raving realistic, reasonable rebellious, reckless saboteur, sadness sake, sameness sanity, satisfactory scar, steady taint, tangled tasteless, tearful telling, temperamental terror, theoretical unaffected, uncanny uncommon, unconsciously undesirable, uneasy unfortunate, untidy vaguely, vanish vanity, vanquish versatile, vicious violence, voracious waiting, waking walkout, wanting wasteful, weary withering, wrecking if words are food for the mind, then you've seen a glimpse of mine if words are drugs for the brain, then no wonder i'm so pained. -djs
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Aug 5, 2013
Aug 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM UTC
a glimpse of my mind
if words are food for the mind, then here is a glimpse of mine if words are drugs for the brain, then here is why i'm so pained. abandoned, abhorrent abnormal, absent abstract, abuse addicted, anxious betray, bitterly blank, blasphemy bloodless, breakdown breathless, brutal captive, casually catastrophe, cautiously change, cigarettes crucial, clueless damaged, dangerous deadly, disastrous disheartened, disconcerting dramatic, dreading eager, eccentric ecstasy, eerie effete, effortless embittered, excess faded, failure faintly, fallacy faltering, fatally fearfully, finally garbage, gawky gibberish, gloomy gone, goodbye graphic, gratify hallucinate, harshly hazy, heartless hectic, helpless hesitant, hit-and-miss idiotic, idly ignorant, intimacy illogical, imaginative infatuated, intoxicated jealousy, jittery journey, journal joylessly, judicial junk, juvenile keen, killing knavish, knocking knockout, knotty knowingly, knowledge laborious, lacking lame, languishing lifeless, literature lovelorn, lugubrious madness, maintenance make-believe, malaise mean, melancholic mellow, melodramatic naff, naivety nameless, naturally nauseous, nebulous neglected, nervous oasis, objectionable obliged, obliterate oblivion, obscurity obsolete, one-and-only pacifist, pained pale, panicky paradise, paralyze passionately, passively raging, ranting rationalize, raving realistic, reasonable rebellious, reckless saboteur, sadness sake, sameness sanity, satisfactory scar, steady taint, tangled tasteless, tearful telling, temperamental terror, theoretical unaffected, uncanny uncommon, unconsciously undesirable, uneasy unfortunate, untidy vaguely, vanish vanity, vanquish versatile, vicious violence, voracious waiting, waking walkout, wanting wasteful, weary withering, wrecking if words are food for the mind, then you've seen a glimpse of mine if words are drugs for the brain, then no wonder i'm so pained. -djs
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97
I feel like I've been deflated. And it's melodramatic but I'm a little heartbroken, too. Because in my head I built us a future and I knew all these details I shouldn't have. It seemed right, completely perfect, and I was ready for some fairytale ending.
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Aug 25, 2012
Aug 25, 2012 at 11:57 PM UTC
The Things I Don't Have
Black oil, Tarnished the white sands of a paradise that is, No longer a paradise, Because no matter how much you try to clean it up, It will always be a shade darker than it used to be. Not fully regaining its color. The thick molasses no longer holds it together, Africa, seems broken beyond repair. Diamonds don't shine as bright as Rihanna suggested. Instead they glow red, With the blood stains of the innocents, Slaughtered for wedding rings. Bullets... Cutting into the flesh of my ancestors, Like those very diamond cutting into glass, Because what is life compared to, A piece of rock? There is a pseudo-melodramatic darkness that, Echoes off of every piece of light they reflect. Sitting only on the fingers and necks Of the people who can afford them, As fingers and necks were chopped and severed for them. I am unable to identify with the cries that still manage to, Resonate within the wind, Apparently... I am the only one that can hear it.
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Jun 12, 2014
Jun 12, 2014 at 2:26 PM UTC
Africa
Twenty-three years now and the same sun rises along the rim of a big blue sky with layered clouds. A myriad of kaleidoscopic colors leaks through surrounding me with nostalgic warmth. Remembering everything that brought me here. That sticky, unbearable Texas heat whirling in the wind of a summer afternoon. Sleeveless dress, sunburnt skin, watermelon smile. Five years of beauty growing into a thin young girl who wanted to learn about everything, Shifting into the youth of an actress in an over-the-top melodramatic performance at a local theatre. Selling art and collecting coins to travel across our globe, and then, my first plane ticket to Vietnam. Nineteen came dressed in bittersweet wanderlust. Packed my bags and drove my car to Portland, Oregon. Four cameras, disheveled notebooks, ink-stained hands. Those tall forest trees of enchantment, a photographer's dream. Traveling down the west coast to desert lands: Seattle, San Francisco, Santa Fe. Somewhere in there I ended up sleeping beneath the stars with a belly full of wine in Alaska. The summer solstice singing me a song while tears brim up my eyes because the world has never looked more lovely. Aurora borealis shimmering her lights above a reflecting ocean of pastel Reds and golds, blues and pinks. A lucky lady who has touched corners of love and sadness and wonder. Burned imprints of goodbyes in the crevices of my mind, but this is who I am. Living and breathing in this extravagance.
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Oct 10, 2012
Oct 10, 2012 at 12:40 AM UTC
Wayward
You asked me to confront the ghosts Of our hearts. As if moving on is as Stagnant as the longed-for passing of Pain. Not your melodramatic melody of Hope could cuddle the fright of sight. Neither its rhythm rhymes with my life's Deepest sigh. As it has been and will always be, Always a scar of scrolled poetry. Of music and madness, of hues of You. Nevermind, I have found someone like you.
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Jan 8, 2016
Jan 8, 2016 at 9:40 AM UTC
Adele's Last Hello
The sky is solid, gray, motionless. Shuffling bodies with obscured shadows Make haste for shelter From the stark, lifeless outside With its grass that only lives if watered, The always leafless trees, And the carcinogenic air. Looking upward, Through the smoggy haze, One sees the neon silhouettes Floating in the sky, Atop the glass and steel monoliths. They speak to those below, Of subtle, clandestine oligarchy. Subconsciously belittling the anonymous masses, "We are Titans, you are rats." Say the towers, As the populace quietly passes over stained concrete and asphalt, Wearing breathing masks, Saying not a word to the thousands they pass. We make haste in this world. We cannot afford to help a stranger, To make a detour with a view, To get your child that gift they really want. So fiercely we have been strangled That empathy is illogical. "What a world" we all say, As we avoid eye contact with the hungry; As we change the channel from the melodramatic infomercial About starving, disease-ridden children somewhere else; As we console ourselves with hollow entertainment and intoxication, To keep the guilt at bay, To keep the thoughts at bay, "Just do what's best for you, Don't step out of line, Shuffle in, Follow the queue. That's all you can do."
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Feb 12, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 at 3:46 AM UTC
Collectivism
*        *A tear is shed For those who are blind to the beauty of this world Who can only feast on sarcasm, writhing in irony * *It soon evaporates. Pictures of a future dressed in ribbons and lace, cast off and burned Pictures of the future carrying disdainful dystopia, infamous for invalids Hung to admire in sublime distaste by those that seek knowledge And see the repetitious antiquities of time that come to pass         But others care not for plans and the imminent Those that keep to the light of the gas And carry the past to the present Hoping for trends to try again, reliving what they had never lived Laconic and loquacious in emotions and words Against the gossip, but paradoxically Pushing for the creation of their “ritualistic social Golgotha”. Those who abuse the glory of their munificent, malicious mentality Pathetically unable to procure authentic happiness        A tear is shed. Inside the recesses of the soul where emotions dare not dwell.        It too evaporates. Trapped in fear and the “cliched harlequin speech of suicide” Begging for the masses to cast them out and find each other        A tear is shed. Never seen but felt as it evaporates. Felt by those who envelop themselves inside themselves Those who plagiarize their sick self-conscious souls Those who bring about the very misfortune they strive to devour Those who are effortlessly envied as they exploit their habitual recreations        By those who wouldn’t dream of falsified euphoria Those who bastardise and deface the name of creative individualism As waters of the soul are purged and discarded        They are felt by those And are quickly washed away in doubt and regret Keeping to the light of the gas, dangerous and warm
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Feb 25, 2013
Feb 25, 2013 at 10:48 PM UTC
Melodramatic hipsters burned in effigy
*        *A tear is shed For those who are blind to the beauty of this world Who can only feast on sarcasm, writhing in irony * *It soon evaporates. Pictures of a future dressed in ribbons and lace, cast off and burned Pictures of the future carrying disdainful dystopia, infamous for invalids Hung to admire in sublime distaste by those that seek knowledge And see the repetitious antiquities of time that come to pass         But others care not for plans and the imminent Those that keep to the light of the gas And carry the past to the present Hoping for trends to try again, reliving what they had never lived Laconic and loquacious in emotions and words Against the gossip, but paradoxically Pushing for the creation of their “ritualistic social Golgotha”. Those who abuse the glory of their munificent, malicious mentality Pathetically unable to procure authentic happiness        A tear is shed. Inside the recesses of the soul where emotions dare not dwell.        It too evaporates. Trapped in fear and the “cliched harlequin speech of suicide” Begging for the masses to cast them out and find each other        A tear is shed. Never seen but felt as it evaporates. Felt by those who envelop themselves inside themselves Those who plagiarize their sick self-conscious souls Those who bring about the very misfortune they strive to devour Those who are effortlessly envied as they exploit their habitual recreations        By those who wouldn’t dream of falsified euphoria Those who bastardise and deface the name of creative individualism As waters of the soul are purged and discarded        They are felt by those And are quickly washed away in doubt and regret Keeping to the light of the gas, dangerous and warm
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34
I am sorry if I'm just a mediocre for not being good enough in everything I am sorry if all I could do is whine crying out like a swine how imperfect the world can be I am sorry if I'm not beautiful if I'm not friendly if I'm messy, stupid, insolent, sensitive, and grumpy I am sorry for being so quiet that it makes the air awkward for being a sickly ******* or when I sometimes talk a lot as if I know everything I'm sorry if I sometimes feel special like a protagonist of some story looking at everyone with scornful eyes for being so disgustingly melodramatic for always making excuses for piling lies on top of lies, on top of lies or for not even trying to make these ****** words rhyme I am sorry for being so hard to like let alone, to love and if I ever made you frown of any of the above or simply of my existence know that I am deeply, truly, and terribly sorry.
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Mar 18, 2017
Mar 18, 2017 at 8:30 AM UTC
To Everyone:
I just sent an email to my Mom. Part of me feels it Part of me wonders if I'm overdramatic I feel like **** Like, I feel different than when I felt depressed But this is still not a place I want to be Consistent Draining I never feel ok anymore. I'm not even sure what ok feels like. I keep wanting to drink for all the wrong reasons I never get drunk But I always want to reach that happy nirvana That "tipsy enough to forget all your worries" place There's something seriously wrong with me I haven't actually talked to my family in AZ for over a month I schedule skype dates with a woman I'll probably never see again More than I do with my own father. What type of **** is that? I looked at **** I ****** myself today. I feel like the biggest piece of **** this planet has seen. I also lack self forgiveness. I got an email back from a priest today. I told him I'd be interested in joining the priesthood I realized I might have been lying, But honestly, I don't even know! I feel like I'm sitting on my thumb, Trying to figure out the world as it Races by me, Unwilling to stop and allow me to catch my breath Or read the signs or understand a **** shred of anything This is what I'm talking about Part of me feels this, And the other part just scoffs, and says I'm melodramatic *Pick yourself up Dust yourself off and figure out what the hell you're doing* I feel so alone anymore. Like, if there's not someone by my side I somehow lack basic humanity. Like I need someone to be there If they aren't, I'm obviously not worth much I closed the blinds four different times today. I didn't want the neighbors to see my actions. After a certain point, I closed them to watch a movie And I haven't opened them back up, even though it would probably cheer me up a great deal This is probably one of the longest "poems" I've ever written. It's not poetry, it's freestyle Not like it matters, It's like an art major defining the different strokes that an artist used in a painting Like I give a **** It's still a painting Lent is one of the hardest times of the year. I feel it with every fiber of my being. Nothing about this situation makes me feel ok. I feel out of body, out of mind, out of soul. I'm pretty sure, at this point, St. Peter wouldn't let me in. In my heart of hearts I want it desperately, but The rest of me still says no. I'm so messed up it's ridiculous. And I sent an email to my mom chronicling her son's failures Her son's issues, And why, Her son Needs to go back to a counselor Because I'll be ****** if he's not "fixed" yet.
0
Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013 at 6:15 PM UTC
It started with an email
I just sent an email to my Mom. Part of me feels it Part of me wonders if I'm overdramatic I feel like **** Like, I feel different than when I felt depressed But this is still not a place I want to be Consistent Draining I never feel ok anymore. I'm not even sure what ok feels like. I keep wanting to drink for all the wrong reasons I never get drunk But I always want to reach that happy nirvana That "tipsy enough to forget all your worries" place There's something seriously wrong with me I haven't actually talked to my family in AZ for over a month I schedule skype dates with a woman I'll probably never see again More than I do with my own father. What type of **** is that? I looked at **** I ****** myself today. I feel like the biggest piece of **** this planet has seen. I also lack self forgiveness. I got an email back from a priest today. I told him I'd be interested in joining the priesthood I realized I might have been lying, But honestly, I don't even know! I feel like I'm sitting on my thumb, Trying to figure out the world as it Races by me, Unwilling to stop and allow me to catch my breath Or read the signs or understand a **** shred of anything This is what I'm talking about Part of me feels this, And the other part just scoffs, and says I'm melodramatic *Pick yourself up Dust yourself off and figure out what the hell you're doing* I feel so alone anymore. Like, if there's not someone by my side I somehow lack basic humanity. Like I need someone to be there If they aren't, I'm obviously not worth much I closed the blinds four different times today. I didn't want the neighbors to see my actions. After a certain point, I closed them to watch a movie And I haven't opened them back up, even though it would probably cheer me up a great deal This is probably one of the longest "poems" I've ever written. It's not poetry, it's freestyle Not like it matters, It's like an art major defining the different strokes that an artist used in a painting Like I give a **** It's still a painting Lent is one of the hardest times of the year. I feel it with every fiber of my being. Nothing about this situation makes me feel ok. I feel out of body, out of mind, out of soul. I'm pretty sure, at this point, St. Peter wouldn't let me in. In my heart of hearts I want it desperately, but The rest of me still says no. I'm so messed up it's ridiculous. And I sent an email to my mom chronicling her son's failures Her son's issues, And why, Her son Needs to go back to a counselor Because I'll be ****** if he's not "fixed" yet.
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You see a kaleidoscopic spongesque speck pushed into a blur over your vision, Sitting on air & feathers. You sit on air rather than feathers, Incased in drywall, Surrounded by your worldly possessions, Drowning in sweat, Suffocating from air, The hum of coupled fans waltzes’ into your skull, A metallic mind prints mass media Via a melodramatic faux-vintage situation into your skull, There’s the pitter-patter of post-traumatic pondering in your skull, A Mexican Coca-Cola clutched in your left hand, Phillip-Morris owns the pocket on your breast so that they sit closest to your heart, Pabst Blue Ribbon has carved rights to your liver, You have an over analytic sense of humor and well-being. Now you decode your day. Now you chastise your intuition for lustful engagements with shadow people. Though you have no qualms with this, You enjoy yourself from time to time. But cannot you imagine a more climatic proposition, In a less disposable universe? Where corners are cut, Shoving dignity & quality out the door Is where impractical risks are made. However, All you ponder now is the blur pushed into the edge of your eye. Perhaps it is a microorganism rendezvousing with another microorganism. Though they would have no concept of predetermination.
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Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013 at 11:04 AM UTC
Folly
Fingernails cry against my skin and pinch and pull and drag a desperate attempt at some kind of self induced rescue and a melodramatic autobiography
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Jul 10, 2014
Jul 10, 2014 at 10:32 PM UTC
pinch, pull, drag
I'm sick of sad teenage girls crying out "I've been used" "I've been had" "He lied" "I was never loved" Fear not sad teenage girls it is clear what happened the castle you keep your heart in was stormed and that tiny little princess that knew no evil lowered her drawbridge So, may I say? Let it go Mistakes will be made That little princess can still grow because she now knows some are evil dastardly deceptive all for the lowering of that drawbridge Gard that castle well sad teenage girl and never again will you know the selfish deeds of some "Prince Charming" mounted on a less than noble steed the sad will fade and trust can be fostered just make sure he isn't an imposter accept the past because life is more than your love last move onward smile Or, he might pass by as if he were just another guy So I say to you sad teenage girls This too shall pass in the meantime, take your melodramatic self-absorbed excuses and toss them away move onward to bigger and better things because you are beautiful strong and empowered move on teenage girl concern yourself with life so later if you choose to be a wife she will not have to feel like that sad teenage girl lowering her drawbridge
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Feb 8, 2013
Feb 8, 2013 at 9:23 AM UTC
Sad Teenage Girls.
She—an unrepeated motif—waxes precocious like her ancient self. Never mind the counterfeit eccentrics, strange enough to be noticed but not doomed. Their only burden is imperfection. She’d die for these people, but they don’t realize omniscience is boring. In preschool, she learned people are mean for no reason. There’s no sense in spiting the inevitable, so she gave away her quarters at bake sale. Her mother would say, “That money is yours.” The girl would ask, adjusting her overalls, “If it’s mine, can’t I decide what to do with it?” In the future, when repeating this story to a potential motif, she’d know he’s The One when he’d say, “What do four-year-olds need to know about capitalism? Thanks to Walt Disney, they want to conform and follow their hearts at the same time.” She’d get off on his grumpy, and then notice his ring. If he had met her first, would he still have married his wife? It’s not worth hoping for divorce. He’s built to mate for life. Instead of turning twenty-six, she’ll choose a chair in purgatory— trapped between what should be and what is. As long as she’s sitting, she may as well start smoking. It’s a fine day for oral fixation. At least she doesn’t smoke Parliaments like the counterfeit eccentrics. She’d wonder if in a past life she was a dusty vacuum cleaner, covered in what she was meant to destroy. It’s too easy to claim hypocrisy, too easy to cry genius for discovering what works when for so long, failure was the only place to go. She hasn’t been happy since she was thirteen. The day before her first existential crisis, her mother said, “Stop being so melodramatic. You must want to be depressed.” Her response: “I’m not too young for a mid-life crisis. I just won’t live to see thirty.” She owes her life to a fear of hell, knows we all experience hell differently. Hers is a banquet. The proceeds will go toward ending world hunger. At the end of the night, the keynote speaker complains that Alfredo sauce doesn’t reheat well, so the leftovers get thrown out.
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Jul 29, 2012
Jul 29, 2012 at 10:17 AM UTC
Ultimatum
She—an unrepeated motif—waxes precocious like her ancient self. Never mind the counterfeit eccentrics, strange enough to be noticed but not doomed. Their only burden is imperfection. She’d die for these people, but they don’t realize omniscience is boring. In preschool, she learned people are mean for no reason. There’s no sense in spiting the inevitable, so she gave away her quarters at bake sale. Her mother would say, “That money is yours.” The girl would ask, adjusting her overalls, “If it’s mine, can’t I decide what to do with it?” In the future, when repeating this story to a potential motif, she’d know he’s The One when he’d say, “What do four-year-olds need to know about capitalism? Thanks to Walt Disney, they want to conform and follow their hearts at the same time.” She’d get off on his grumpy, and then notice his ring. If he had met her first, would he still have married his wife? It’s not worth hoping for divorce. He’s built to mate for life. Instead of turning twenty-six, she’ll choose a chair in purgatory— trapped between what should be and what is. As long as she’s sitting, she may as well start smoking. It’s a fine day for oral fixation. At least she doesn’t smoke Parliaments like the counterfeit eccentrics. She’d wonder if in a past life she was a dusty vacuum cleaner, covered in what she was meant to destroy. It’s too easy to claim hypocrisy, too easy to cry genius for discovering what works when for so long, failure was the only place to go. She hasn’t been happy since she was thirteen. The day before her first existential crisis, her mother said, “Stop being so melodramatic. You must want to be depressed.” Her response: “I’m not too young for a mid-life crisis. I just won’t live to see thirty.” She owes her life to a fear of hell, knows we all experience hell differently. Hers is a banquet. The proceeds will go toward ending world hunger. At the end of the night, the keynote speaker complains that Alfredo sauce doesn’t reheat well, so the leftovers get thrown out.
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Let me apologize to begin with For the way I have to say this to you Instant and digital with the flawless 12 point form in a unison moment All these words flow like lies from a child And flawed, a 1984 Brave New World Jacked in and online, I swear to God Microsoft is a virus in my veins and the Side-effects leave me nauseated and yet Comforted with the connection I feel With everyone under this epidemic And Mac is a twisted strain of my particular Insanity. Glossy and chic in my pocket, on the go, Steve Jobs is the ancestor of Doctor Wily Making *** some bandwagon that needs jumping Like SkyNet will make me safer, I’ve heard it before I wish this paper was yellow and crackling With the orange firelight it was written under On a sofa, pipe in hand, with the Raven tapping Melodramatic to the point of genius Rather then the cliché that emotion has somehow become And abbreviations become acronyms and symbols Who has killed the fair maiden of language? Beautifully laid and strung, pearls upon my page Folded into my pockets and on the margins of reality Like a child unwilling to wait to show his parents The words escape and flee and I panic, pen trembling Mind to tongue to hand and nerves in the ink Like meter and scheme trying to restrain this infinite Strand of DNA that is the flawless combinations of letters And letters! Curved like a woman tempting and pleasing To round my pen and finding sanity in the corners and points Or the cursive dribble of calligraphic art practiced endlessly By the scholars, monks, orphans, or even the X of a slave Bearing his mark, leaving himself branded on the page But I most apologize, I will get carried away And that is not the way Times New Romans likes it
0
Mar 15, 2011
Mar 15, 2011 at 7:23 PM UTC
Microsoft Word Took my Voice
Let me apologize to begin with For the way I have to say this to you Instant and digital with the flawless 12 point form in a unison moment All these words flow like lies from a child And flawed, a 1984 Brave New World Jacked in and online, I swear to God Microsoft is a virus in my veins and the Side-effects leave me nauseated and yet Comforted with the connection I feel With everyone under this epidemic And Mac is a twisted strain of my particular Insanity. Glossy and chic in my pocket, on the go, Steve Jobs is the ancestor of Doctor Wily Making *** some bandwagon that needs jumping Like SkyNet will make me safer, I’ve heard it before I wish this paper was yellow and crackling With the orange firelight it was written under On a sofa, pipe in hand, with the Raven tapping Melodramatic to the point of genius Rather then the cliché that emotion has somehow become And abbreviations become acronyms and symbols Who has killed the fair maiden of language? Beautifully laid and strung, pearls upon my page Folded into my pockets and on the margins of reality Like a child unwilling to wait to show his parents The words escape and flee and I panic, pen trembling Mind to tongue to hand and nerves in the ink Like meter and scheme trying to restrain this infinite Strand of DNA that is the flawless combinations of letters And letters! Curved like a woman tempting and pleasing To round my pen and finding sanity in the corners and points Or the cursive dribble of calligraphic art practiced endlessly By the scholars, monks, orphans, or even the X of a slave Bearing his mark, leaving himself branded on the page But I most apologize, I will get carried away And that is not the way Times New Romans likes it
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