"meagan" poems
i just want to know
has my life been worth the fight.
i have died a thousand times,
just wondering.
am i really cut out to be something?
am i going to make a change?
nope, probably not.
i don't matter to people.
one day i'll be gone and dalton and morgan and meagan and stefanie and zac will all forget about me.
the only reason they talk to me is because i let it slip that i was feeling particularly suicidal that day.
the stories didn't help, i don't care about how you got kicked out of school for a month for showing up trashed.
it's not the same as what i go through. i appreciate the effort but please stop.
one day i'll be gone, and dalton and morgan and meagan and stefanie and zac, will forget about me.
oh how i hate fourth block math.
Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013 at 11:32 PM UTC
Why I’m not “All About that Bass”
So I’m in my car cruising down i-49
When I hear a song with a kickin-baseline
*I'm all about that bass,bout that bass no treble, i'm all about that bass
I'm bringing ***** back go ahead and tell them*
STOP
Excuse me?
When did ***** leave?
How did ***** get there?
Was ***** on vacation?
Where they at tho?
Yeah my moma she told me don’t worry about your size*
But not because in a patriarchal society I am valued for my ratio
Of hips to thighs as handle bars for my man to
“keep me grounded”
But because I was beautiful anyway
I am not the number sewn into society like the waistband of my jeans
I am the number of times I look into the mirror and say “hey ****
And if society is too lazy to know that beneath these eyes but above these hips
And behind this full chest theres a heart
Lets be real
Were not going to blame Meagan trainer
She probably didn’t even write this song
but why are we idolizing these who only look to sexulize the femaile body instead of holding us to
a higher standard
and just think
you are perfect, thank you pink
we can be stronger, thank you Kelly
And no matter what we are beautiful, thank you christina
Why aren't these the women we are idolizing?
Because according to hot 107.9 its all about the *****
I am not something you can put into a box something you can stereotype
Just because i have big thighs and a ***** to match doesn't mean i want it to be pointed out
or catcalled every chance there is.
my body your body everyones body is their own
and deserves to be treated like its own perfect stronger more beautiful self.
i am strong
i am perfect
i am beautiful
my hips don't belong to you
my ***** does not belong to you
i do not belong to you
And thats why im not all about that bass
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 9:26 AM UTC
~ Beaming with radiance, confident with a luminous glow
Full of life, your high spirits will continuously grow
~ Your optimism shows like a great beam of light
Filled with positive energy, your mind and soul are bright
~ Versatility mixed with eagerness, you’ll never be without
Simply travel and explore whenever faced with great doubt
~ Your honest spirit keeps you balanced, and your mind outspoken
Not worried about what the people see, you keep your mind open
~ The tolerance you acquire is a trait to be remembered
It may be confused with appearing judgmental
~ Always entertained, with your creative outlook on life
If things don’t go as planned, you continue on with your night
~ While restless at times, every atmosphere stays positive
Through consequences due to risks you take, you always stay confident
~ Never let the consequences impact you with negativity
Adventures are meant to be made, throughout each and every vicinity
~Meagan Williams
1.21.13
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 11:32 PM UTC
~The sensation of experiencing everything
Everything is never nothing; worthy of remembering
~ Beauty surrounding your senses, inhale with every breath
You're invincible, the outline image of mystery
~ Looking over with increased anticipation
All words are shuffled with variation
~ Confident in your surroundings, anywhere and everywhere
Thrilling vibes, never realize a judgmental stare
~ Only recognize the unrecognizable, every detail
Every aspect of life, all in different realities
~ Immortal visions, images sufficient for a lifetime
Liberating memories, sensational at its very prime
~ Gleaming within the mind, I feel the feels you feel
With intertwined consciousness, we debate on what's real
~ Implausible explanations, never impossible excuses
To acquire this forever, would inflict internal bruises
~ This level of fun, fundamental producer of freedom
For, this prosperous feeling rids you of being numb
~Meagan Williams
1.15.13
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 5:49 AM UTC
~ Emptiness consumes all thought, always lingers close
Feeling less for a moment, until sound approaches the air
~ Time, reality, everything is now illuminated
Emotions up rise, this feeling is familiar but rare
~ Thrills elude the mind, as beats miraculously appear
Voices, faces and expressions are diluted but near
~ Addicting sounds, overwhelming beats, a beautiful mixture
Everyone enjoying it, through the past and future
~ A confidence boost soon approaches, no matter your mood
Secretive meanings, useless thoughts completely delude
~ Through stressful stages of mine, unique rhythms prevail
Stressful states turn to relaxation, seems nothing can fail
~ Whichever, whoever, times change with the vibes
Wherever, whenever, there are new meanings and rhymes
~ Eras will always persuade us with images
Millions of different break downs, incredible visions
~ Gradual change defines the entire industry
While our individuality remains, holding us freely
~ Your own interests influence what's unknown
While the public worlds interests, influence what's overthrown
~ This reality has its own unique mixture of genres
We'll never know those other realities, they're disguised in armor
~ You yourself understand the rhythms that keep you sane
Let the music speak its mind, and run through your every vein
~Meagan Williams
1.20.13
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 5:47 AM UTC
~ Your carelessness isn't amusing anymore
Unusually enough, this time I'm keeping score
~ Your mind is consumed with foolishness
Restraining my interest less and less
~ Lack of interest in enjoying memories with me
It just may result in my promise to flee
~ Wondering why I'm changing? Understand on your own
It hurts me to say, I may have to let you alone
~ But I can't do that, I have no reason to
This is a phase, I know I love you
~ I've loved you since I saw you, right, yes that's true
There's just some doubt, my mind's seeking something new
~ But I don't want anything new, we've seen so much together
These images will fade, we'll be together forever
~ I feel guilty for doubting you, guilty for doubting us
It's just my mind being fooled, making this unnecessary fuss
~ You love me, but why?
I'm nothing special, until I die
~ Our spirits have a bond, one impossible to describe
I love our mind frame, our unbreakable vibe
~ Always keeping me safe, why would I risk that?
Makes zero sense, just lays there like a mat
~ I got this, we got it, our hearts cannot escape
This is our place, where we belong, simply fate
~Meagan Williams
1.25.13
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 25, 2013 at 7:49 PM UTC
~ Disguised in your own skin
Overwhelming thrive to be seen
~ What to prove, what to win?
Acceptance from unimportant faces
~ The faces criticize, they believe what they want o
Unreasonable explanations, blinded by tragedy
~ Unaware of the value of someone like you
Strong, brave, a high head with high hopes
~ Let them underestimate, let them laugh
They'll soon come to realize, they're the ones who must cope
~ You've come so far, and with so little fear
The ones who care are sure to linger near
~ Continue to express your radiance and love
Until the end of your journey, you'll continue to shine
~ Set your mind free, don't listen to those faded faces
Undermining stress comes with too much of a shove
~ No matter where I go, I'll remember your spirit forever
I'll carry on what you've taught me, to different worlds and places
~ Different ways you've impacted my life
These things I'm sure not to forget, ever
~ Each day our friendship grows stronger
With fights, laughs, even some irrelevant drama
~ Our memories, our thrills, everything in between
If you believe in our friendship, it'll last even longer
~Meagan Williams
1.15.13
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 5:48 AM UTC
~ Believing what is real, is not easy to do
Everything I feel, is not always real
~ To undergo change, to have every 'hello' reversed
Never what I want, for better or for worse
~ Circumstances change, feelings stay the same
Obstacles change, mind never sane
~ In need of that love, in need of that care
However demonstrated, my mind will only stare
~ These expectations may be implausible
Closely examining them seems only impossible
~ I understand the effects of my choices
When given them I simply rely on other voices
~ My own self isn't what I express in my appearance
At least I’m myself here, with no interference
~ Expressions support life values, interpreting the thought process
A damaged train of thought interprets incorrectly
~ My body language is irrelevant to what I'm assuming
For one trying to comprehend, It's complex and amusing
~Meagan Williams
1.16.13
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 5:50 AM UTC
~ Anticipation overwhelms the air
Time slows down, freedom elopes
~ Motionless, extremely unaware
Nervousness grows stronger, as my heart beats faster
~ A familiar face, everything changes
Emotions all fade, faith is restored
~ Right back where we left off, we continue the pages
Underestimating the new changes
~ Another 'hello' soon follows another 'goodbye'
Back to reality, we go our separate ways
~ Always remembering the little things throughout time
Our paths will meet again, we both know it's true
~ Commotion of lies from people around
Never believe them, they'll never force me to frown
~ We take what we want, and give what we take
Without this, we would believe and become what we hate
~ Another journey home, don't know what to expect
I know there will be you, and the things you protect
~ Dignity, reputation, what the people see
While I protect what makes me free
~Meagan Williams
1.15.13
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 5:45 AM UTC
~ Confusion consumes all five senses
This new world, what experiences await?
~ Is no one affected by my new presence?
Aimlessly searching for where I belong
~ Unaware of these faces, their eyes focused curiously
Ignoring every single iris judgment
~ This new place, these emotions increasing furiously
Hoping something appears, to cease all tension
~ The first step in this new world, is simply commotion
Something changes with the new day; new light, new hope
~ Our first interaction, the butterflies appear instantly
Mid conversation, I can't help but smile
~ A rush of happiness, this is just the beginning
Alone at last, at least for a little while
~ Time disappears, as I lay with you simply grinning
My heart starts racing, I can't control it anymore
~ As time carries on, my heart feels restored
To trust again, laugh again, love again
~ Expressing the inner me, not as hard as I imagined
Something about him, everything feels right
~ I need some time, to sort out the confusion
He patiently waits, until that beautiful night
~ I don't want to wait anymore, I still have butterflies
Finally he's mine, no confusion, no lies
~ Perfection and passion, from one life changing kiss
This is beautiful, so safe and my favorite bliss
~Meagan Williams
1.15.13
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 5:52 AM UTC
~ The mind is a dangerous thing, at least in this reality
Thinking you can handle it, maybe in its simplest formality
~ It'll play its tricks on you, cause massive amounts of confusion
The understanding of this and that, it's all a delusion
~ The mind says you want it, maybe even need it
But reality says you can't have it, not even a little bit
~ It's one or the other, so which statement is true?
You listen to both of them, but that's nothing new
~ The mind makes the choice, to try and benefit life
But reality is the decision, and cuts like a knife
~ Wanting this, desiring that. Will I get it if I try?
The mind will say yes, but reality will still pry
~ The two turn into confusion, overwhelming ones emotions
Too much to handle, you just give up all notions
~ Wishing you could understand, what is the conclusion?
Can I achieve this? Maybe reality is the real delusion.
-Meagan Williams
1.15.13.
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 5:40 AM UTC
I told you that you were loved and you didn't believe me.
What made you think that I didn't love you?
What made you believe that you were a lost cause?
Who the **** told you that you weren't good enough?
I want to know.
More so, I want to wrap the noose around his neck BEFORE he touched you,
Before you got the chance to wrap it around yours.
Ever since you left, I have suffocated underneath your death.
I do not sleep with blankets on anymore because I can not stay warm knowing that you are lying cold in the ground.
I no longer open up my windows and let the let shine in because I know that you are drowning in the darkness.
I can not put my hands to the steering wheel and drive because I will never be able to let go of the day that we stole that blue minivan and tried to get away.
I just want to know why you didn't tell us what was wrong.
I want to know why we weren't there.
I want to know why the last words that escaped were: "You're gonna miss me when I'm gone."
When you're gone? When you're gone? You can't be gone. I won't believe that you are gone, that your beautiful body is buried somewhere beneath the dirt when you deserved to stand on stars.
I want to know why you didn't leave me a ******* note, some type of ******* answer.
Because now, I'm stuck. I am stuck, and I am haunted by your ghost. I am missing every bit of you.
I am missing your voice.
I am calling you. Please come back to me.
Your voicemail.
"Hey, it's Meagan! Leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."
But you're NOT getting back to me. Sometimes I pretend that you will.
Did you know that I would be broken without you? That these needles are the only thing that can possibly puncture me enough to make me feel again?
Did you know that whenever anything goes wrong, my first thought is: "If only she were here"
When you left, you took every bit of hope from me.
When you left, you took my will to live.
When you left, when you left, when you left,
WHAT made YOU think I was strong enough to handle THIS?!
It's been seven months. I am not sure I can make it seven more.
I have become filled with you, your sweet little laugh,
and the stupid ******* jokes you played.
It was not a joke when you hung yourself.
No one laughed; no one dared make the slightest of sounds.
We held our breath and danced with candles until the moon in itself faltered and fell down.
Jan 19, 2014
Jan 19, 2014 at 6:57 PM UTC
Meagan, Quidnishia, and Pam marched in
Dressed to the nines
(Unlike the other 5-daze)
Amens traded for
"How may I help you today?"
Aug 30, 2015
Aug 30, 2015 at 8:56 PM UTC
tonight:
no lemon slice moon,
no searchlight of white.
a black cradle for black bodies.
cylindrical wax, it’s all cyclical –
mike brown, eric garner,
freddie gray,
meagan hockaday
– across the street
white boy shreds black asphalt,
a sloppy chorus of happy birthday
spills like their foamy pints
over brown tables and black eulogies.
those pale faces, those pale fingers,
preoccupied more with the bubbling
and the stretch of their pizza cheese.
look up from your porcelain plates.
hear our rage bubbling,
see communities stretched translucent.
there is blood on your hands
and guilt to your name.
May 9, 2015
May 9, 2015 at 5:35 PM UTC
i want to be a plate made for a sweet devouring
too many plastic spoons have been touching my body
hi what's your name hi what's your name hey nice to meet you
what??.. huh//?
meagan morgan mags?
let's go somewhere quiet
plastic. you are all plastic.
smooth to the touch and poisonous.
bend over let me see
i don't care fine whatever
i smell you on my skin
you are in my fingers
you are in my *****
deeper baby deeper
but i open my eyes and am still surrounded by plastic. poison. pissfuck.
where are you???
lines down my spine
entitled ******* cheater cheater she won't find out thighs thighs
and you and you want to ramble about poetry when i want to scream
scream until i have let out everything inside me until my lungs fall out of my throat until the walls of my chestheartbrain cave in
let me ou t out out no breakfast no lunch or dinner get out o!u!t!!
i am lonely iamalone and no no none of you can save me
Oct 6, 2013
Oct 6, 2013 at 1:38 AM UTC
If I had Meagan Good or Meagan Fox.
I will forever be happy.
So , you say.
If I had Jada Pickett Smith.
Or Jennifer Lawrence.
I'll forever be happy
So, you speak.
If I had Ashanti.
Or Miranda Lambert.
I'll forever be happy.
If I had a Victoria's Secret model.
Or a woman out of *******
I'll forever be smiling.
That's, what you say?
But the odds are great.
You won't be.
If you doesn't notice life simple things.
Like the woman before you without any fame.
Jan 18, 2014
Jan 18, 2014 at 11:32 AM UTC