"mastercard" poems
I went down to the shopping mall
Since I saw one store I thought I should see them all
They said they except Visa and MasterCard and American Express
To use one or all or none that was the ultimate test
It would have been best to walk out with a full pocket book
But I thought I would just take a look because
I was Bored In the USA
yes Bored in the USA
Just for fun I thought I would try things on
especially those items with a sale sticker on
I rushed to one store than to the next
If I have to carry much more stuff I might break my neck
all because I lack self control when
I am Bored in the USA
I tried to resist shopping again
My friends and family said I spent too much
I thought my computer would be safe to touch
I saw an add for items from a favorite seller on EBay
I thought it was Ok just to look, one click is all it took
I now am Highest Bidder
because I was Bored in the USA
I did not really need it but like I said
I spent too much because
I was Bored in The USA
Bored In The USA
Bored In the USA
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 1:45 PM UTC
I am finally learning
What it means to balance life;
For I can't give my heart and soul
When you don't give yours too.
We've only just begun now;
I know I've gone too fast.
But keep in mind, this is new to me,
While not exactly new to you.
So I'll pretend my heart's a jigsaw;
You can have it, but piece by piece.
And you must earn the pieces--
I can't promise them to you.
You can't buy them on credit;
No Visa or Mastercard.
We don't take checks here, sorry--
Only cash will do.
Cash comes in form of roses,
And midnight picnics in the park.
Cash comes in form of Brewer games,
And a candle-lit dinner for two;
A night spent under fire-works,
Or a ride in a hot-air balloon.
Don't forget, with each of these gestures,
You must give me a piece of your heart.
But with these must come sweetness,
Respect and sincerity.
I need trust, and most of all,
Respect my right to be free.
And if these you cannot give me,
Then sorry, our bargain is off.
But I think--I hope--you can give
These things I ask of you;
If I didn't, I wouldn't be here--
I only speak the truth.
So if you can prove me right,
Then I'll have nothing to fear.
We'll live happily ever after--
It will be a done deal.
Feb 28, 2010
Feb 28, 2010 at 2:44 PM UTC
OPERATIONAL EPIPHANY
For a time
I was alone
And I was frozen
To the bone
But then an angel
Spread its wings
Gave me warmth
And all my things
The angel said
Just hold on
We’ll find out
What went wrong
So I waited
Patiently
While it hovered
Over me
Then, a blinding light
Came right at me
I could not look
I could not see
But from the light
A voice came forth
Hello, it said
I’m Doctor North
I’ll be your surgeon
On this day
How would you
Like to pay
We take Visa, MasterCard
Cash or American Express
But, if you have neither one
Then…. may God bless
BOEMS BY JA 269
Written in hospital 2014
Sep 6, 2016
Sep 6, 2016 at 9:54 AM UTC
Set of eclipse glasses: about ten dollars
Tin of coffee: also ten dollars
Watching a receding eclipse in a thundering sunshower with family, friends, and an anxious dog while joking about omens and modern politics: priceless
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017 at 3:23 PM UTC
Lone star prophet in
his cul-de-sac.
Mansion built by
a guilty back.
Measured out in sinners
per square feet.
He tells us heaven has
a cover charge.
But God takes Visa
and MasterCard.
And he’s at ten million
likes so far.
So hit share and you’ll
get in early.
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 25, 2017 at 11:29 AM UTC
"Credit? Debit?" / "Mastercard."
Card goes in. Entering PIN.
BeepBeepBeepBeep. Remove card.
Processing—I listen
to the cold ambient music.
"Thank you, and have a nice day."
"You too." / The cashier sounds sick.
I have nothing more to say.
The same words repeated day
after day. a ritual
antipathetic display
of our common plastic soul–
lessness.
May 18, 2021
May 18, 2021 at 10:09 AM UTC
CONSISTENT CONTRADICTION
I'm a perfectly consistent contradiction.
I'm oiled by tons of lightweight friction.I'm
spending my time with no time to spare;
while suffocatin' on all the fresh air.
I'm slurrin' my speech with perfect diction,
while truthfully expressing science fiction.
There's not a lot more that I can say,
so I won't take long;
just forever and a day.
My past draws ever closer as my future fades away.
I'll see you in Hell but have a nice day.
I have ultralight opinions that hold lots of weight;
can't draw worth a **** as I'll illustrate.
You may think I'm on your doorstep, but I'm a hundred miles away.
See you in Hell but have a nice day. I don't know why you're so
insistent that I have to be perfectly consistent.
Can't you see that I'm doin' OK?
See you in Hell but have a nice day.
I gotta comatose brain that won't slow down;
a friendly warm smile that's sprinkled with a frown.
My mind is racin' 'bout a mile a minute.
Get out of my life cause I need you in it.
I'll take Mastercard or Visa but you don't gotta pay.
See you in Hell
but have a nice day.
Consistency is overrated,
and lunacy is unappreciated.
Every corner of my coaster has got one roller.
I've gone clinically sane,
while being bipolar.
I'm as short as Paul Bunyan and tall as Tom Thumb;a cross between Einstein and Dumber and Dumb.
I'll wish you a Merry New Year in the middle of May ,and I'll see you in Hell but have a nice day!
Jul 10, 2019
Jul 10, 2019 at 8:48 PM UTC