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Q Jul 2014
It is a constant pressure underneath my breastbone
That whispers evil at all hours of the day
'I could rip the life from a human without remorse'
'I could bleed them out with a smile on my face'

It is an unending notion in every corner of my brain
That, had I the motivation, I would immediately claim
'I could ingest a deadly concoction and disappear in a second'
'I could enact any complicated process that ends with me slain'

It is a nightly terror that follow me through daybreak
That renders me speechless with both fear and liberation
'I could let go of control and forget about mere consequence'
'I could finally allow my brain to drown in this sensation'

Homicidal. Suicidial. Manical.
I exercise control against these urges.
Massacre. Exhaustion. Insanity.
I wonder when I will forget this.
My sister, for the first time realized I was not and am not joking. She insisted that none of the aforementioned urges are commonplace. I was not aware of how much I valued the illusion of normalcy until I was informed it was little more than a pipe dream.
I am dysfunctional
A jumbled up bag of puzzle pieces that never fit together
An astronaut spiraling endlessly forever
Major Tom watching on
His suited flailing clown
My mental health is an elevator that only seems to go further down
A rabbit hole neverending heading to my dysfunctional peers
Mad hatter grilling his eyeballs to a perfect sear
Nothing but manical laughs to hear
Nothing to doubt and nothing to fear
Nothing but insanity and gloomy clouds, no day is clear
I am dysfunctional
Yet none of these puzzle pieces seem to fit anywhere but here
Written on June 4th '18
betterdays Jun 2014
it appears as though
there was a coup,
in kookaburra land,
this morning.

much fuss,
and cacophony.
as the brown and blue kingfisher clan, reassembled,
their royal court.

the big old king,
uncurled his talons,
unfurled his wings,
gave one last,
manical chuckle....
and fell from his perch.

to lie still,
upon the dusty,
brown earth.

shocked, silence for some seconds, and then...
the eucalypts erupted into, (what would appear to the outsider);
cold calculating mirth.

as the young jacko princes, all began the joking joust
for the top place berth.

in a melee of swooping, chuckling grace,
a contest no less,
set to test....
mettle, worth and cackle call.
each young bird,
takes to the wing and flies into the maddening...and how close,
         how loud,
                  how startling,
         they can be.
            is made known,      
by those,
whose years,    
            have flown.

when all, is said and done. tourney overflown,
feathers are preened.
then the winner
is presented,
with opportunity, bold....
to nest the queen.
as to the rest,
they take their place,
in the chaotic, cackling, cacophonous,
kookabuurra clan nests.
to bide their time,
until, the next coup,
                        comes calling...
this is fiction, i have no idea, really, how jackos sort out their hierarchy. they where just exceptionally excited at dawn this morning... and this flowed through.
NeroameeAlucard Dec 2014
They say the mind bends to deal with the challenges one faces in life...
In this case my mind and cxck were bent to her.. although I knew she was someone's wife
It was deeper than a soul connection. Something darker not pure
Was it love?.... Lust?.. I just wasn't sure
It went deep and strong resonating within. I lost all control just seeing him
I guess I should tell you about her... She's a nurse at the home I'm RELAXING IN! She's always very kind to me... I'm not sure where to begin... I remember when we met.. it was like yesterday
It was a warm summer's evening... And into my room she swayed
I came walking in and there he was. Sitting to the side with demons behind his eyes. It all started there this inexplicable feeling. The sight of his green hair sent my heart reeling.
I laughed at this slender nurse.. blonde hair just as I always cared for
"They say your first time you never forget I'll make it memorable, are you familiar with my lore?"
His laugh, oh his laugh it drew me in closer. He enticed me, he lured me as he wove his sweet tale.

I told her one of my many stories
I can't really remember my past
But Lord how she drew me in with that enticing figure behind the class

His past was confusing twisted and dark. But we all have our secrets that with we cannot part. It was insanity with lust that took over just then. When I asked him to stay AMD let him within.
I looked in surprise "Arent you not supposed to interact with the inmates?"
"Yes but no" I said in reply. "There is something about you I cannot deny."
Turning on the old charm I replied "Well we do have some more time together... Let's explore our twisted minds!"
There we stayed together breaking the rules. We laughed in hysteria like two crazy fools.
I laughed and for the first time I was sad leaving therapy


What we had shared was in rarity. Being without him ripped me of clarity. I hatched a wicked plan my win twisted fantasy
It's a crazy ambition by crazy minds...
But an accomplishable one I'm sure you'll find
I was transferred to solitary after a situation in the lunch room
I just carved a guys eyes out, was that really worth putting me in a padded room?
When I walked into therapy he wasn't insight .
That's when Iearned of his terrible plight. Madness and hysteria came from within. This couldn't be happening no not to him.
I searched and I searched but he couldn't be found. But I heard the most beautiful sound. His manical laugh shook the walls. It's reverberation carried me down the halls.
She walked into the room and saw me in my strait jacket
Her body so clean.. ugh I just had to have it
I was already crazy before I met this girl
Now this... This was twisting my world
This girl, so calm, yet confident in her approach
Clearly figured me out quicker than most
I don't remember my past but I knew she'd be in my future
Right here And now, I had to make love to her
Somehow, some way she got what I was getting at,
She helped me out of my cloth prison, the filthy straitjacket
After getting out of my jacket I walked over and kicked the door
After taking off our clothes I pinned her to the floor
"Now I know your a doctor but I have my own medicine to prescribe"
"Oh please Mr J! Take me like a bride!"
So I ****** a nurse in the padded cell wing
 And she broke me out of the asylum from within
"What's your name dear nurse?"
"Call me.. Harley Quinn!"
This was inspired by my favorite evil couple! Shout out to Msgoldensun on pets corner for the collaborative effort!
kitten Mar 2014
tears rolled down her pale porcelain cheeks, her lower lip trembled as she stared at the crumpled piece of paper in her hand. her heart felt like it was about to puncture a hole through her ribs, damaging her thin frame which was already bruised and battered. the bruises were her decoration, not something she hid, not something that came from abuse, but rather from love.

a scream shattered across the room, breaking the peaceful silence, unnoticeable to the city around her, but a sharp cut through the apartment’s normally tranquil state.

she sobbed and pulled at the skin around her hands, clawing at it with her painted peach-coloured nails, trying to convince herself that this is not the reality she was in, not the reality that deserved her.

the bed shifted and she stood up, cradling herself quietly as she walked over to the dresser.
a circular vintage-looking powder case was lifted from the drawer, shining a golden hue, seeming like a prized treasure to the young woman.

white lines are formed along the black mahogany dresser, creating a perfect contrast between light and dark.
this was what she wanted. what she needed. this is what made her smile.

when he wasn’t there,
she’d click her tongue,
seek warmth in her sheets,
wander around their home,
play with his favourite camera,
cry at the thought of him being angry,

panicking, breathing heavy, heart-racing and full of angst.

no, snow didn’t make her happy.
her sunshine did.

-

she woke up the next morning, her vision slightly blurring from burying herself face-first into the sea of cushions and blankets spread all over their bed.

“angel, you really need to stop turning to snow whenever you get lonely.”

something echoed from the bathroom next door. it’s a strong and masculine voice, reassuring her thoughts and snapping her back to reality. she smiled and grabbed a blanket, throwing it over her nimble frame as she walked towards the brightly-lit doorway.

“i’m sorry, miku.”

miku, the name she so adored. it rolled on her tongue like a sweet piece of jelly, soothing and rewarding. he loved her back just as much; whether it was her joyful smile whenever she accomplished something, her laughter when she failed, the determined glint in her eyes and most of all her sweet, almost-chaste kisses she gave him every single day.

“maria, i need your help.”

“with what?”

her voice curious, yet laced with slight worry.
their eyes met, his gaze softened. he turned and placed a hand on her cheek, stroking it thoughtfully.

“with a small job. something that would be fun to do together. i even got you a special present.” he gestured toward a small black case placed on the kitchen table. maria noticed that he had placed freshly bought roses in a vase on the table beside it as well.

the case revealed two bright-pink, shiny new Glocks, polished to perfection. maria let out an excited squeal before hugging mikula.

“come on now sweetie, we have to go.”

-

by the time they got back, it was already midnight. mikula wanted to sleep, tired from the night of blood and debauchery. maria on the other hand, was psyched up from the violence and excitement. she loved spending time with mikula as well as witnessing the art of his work.

the sight of the man squirming below mikula, trying to push the boot off which was crushing his chest, really excited maria. the way mikula scoffed at the man’s pleads for mercy, the way he scowled at the bargain for a higher lump sum of money in exchange for his target’s life. the way his pale grey eyes flashed with anger at the man for referring to her as a “sleezy ****** *****”.

“do i look like the kind of man that would be with a sleezy *****?”

the man didn’t answer, he could not muster the strength, let alone the courage to utter a single word.

“my sweet maria is not sleezy and she is definitely not a *****.” he pauses briefly, cocking the gun and pointing towards the man.

the man’s eyes widened in fear as mikula reached into his pocket and pulled out a pink switchblade, flicking it open and handing it to maria.

“i forgot to give you this little present, on top of those custom guns i ordered in.”

mikula watched her grin from ear to ear, studying the sharp object in her hand. it glistened in the dim light, making her heart thump with excitement. she heard music in her head as she kneeled down, the twisted smile growing wider and wider.

♫ babe you can see that I'm danger
glamorous but I'm deranged, yeah
teetering off of the stage, yeah
i said it really nicely so can you be my savior? ♫ *

a manical scream escaped her throat.
when she looked up and saw mikula smiling at her, it felt like the blood that had tainted her clothes was invisible ink.
her tongue glided across the surface of her lips, before spitting the mix of saliva and crimson onto the floor beside her.

♫ is it wro-wrong that I think it's kinda fun
when I hit you in the back of the head with a gun?
my daddy's in the trunk of his brand new truck
i really want him back, but I'm kinda outta luck. ♫
Paula Lee Apr 2014
YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA TEACH ME A FEW THINGS
YOU TAUGHT ME
HOW TO SCREAM
HOW TO HURT
HOW TO HIDE THE BRUISES

THEN YOU TAUGHT ME MORE
HOW TO LIE
HOW TO CUSS
HOW TO HIDE THE PAIN

YOU TAUGHT ME HOW IT FEELS
WHEN YOU LIE
WHEN YOU CHEAT
WHEN YOU BEAT
WHEN YOU DENY


WELL I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR
MANICAL TEACHINGS

IT'S TIME FOR ME TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING TOO
HOW IT FEELS
TO LIE TO YOU
TO CHEAT ON YOU
TO FEEL PAIN
HOW IT FEELS
TO WATCH ME WALK OUT THAT DOOR
AND NOT LOOK BACK

HOWS IT FEEL NOW

FIND ANOTHER ***** "BUDDY"
YOU TAUGHT ME TO WELL
YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LEAVE YOUR ***!

DON'T EVER FORGET YOU TAUGHT ME WELL!!!
shika Feb 2017
Sometimes I can almost hear your laughter, manical and alive. I think perhaps its what I miss most. If I could go back, I would stay and fight. I would say all the words I wish I could now. I wouldn't let you go.
******* for teaching me the biggest lesson I've ever learned.
(Thank you for teaching me the biggest lesson I've ever learned. )
Just trying to gain a little perspective in the worst experience of my life.
Robert Andrews Oct 2020
Or maybe you don't
I live in a mad house
There's no peace to be found.
When I can I get away
Smoke some ***
To **** the pain
You know how it is
Or maybe you don't
The screaming the shouting the manical laughter
Grandiose delusions and tears
Like I said.
It IS a mad house
And I need my time away
So I take a walk
To my sister Jens
A half hour trek for me
Now a days
It seems much more
With my broken back
A week
Still I go there
To **** the pain
With a bit of sanity
You know how it is
Drink a glass of dry white wine
And smoke
A bit of ****
Find my place
Upon the floor
And finally
Go to sleep
You know how it is

— The End —