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"madder" poems
there are bones between my teeth moonlight glimmering in my eyes dried blood in my nails, in my hair my head pounding (thump. thump. thump.) you know they say blood is thicker than water but that just means blood is more likely to stick in my throat coughing up family ties one by one glistening red memories, leaving only a metallic aftertaste sick nightmare fantasy of ripping open bodies im the monster in your fairytale stories lets do a bit of editing, perhaps? lets shred the whole **** book, perhaps? lets set fire to the town, perhaps? im tired of pretending to be your precious child, perfect student, "the innocent one" i want to paint obscene material in your blood (in the name of art, of course) @god do you ever feel unreal? are you even real? am i? no i have to be real, I can feel the blood dripping down my arm, the bones cracking in my spine im real. im real. im real. everything hurts!!!!! fuCK i cant wait to rip you all to shreds !!!!!! T H I S I S N O T A D R E A M walking on eggshells is far more difficult with digitigrade legs, im not gonna try to be nice anymore i dont need to be nice anymore why be nice when you can **** why just **** when you can slaughter? nobody can stop me from lighting up the post office, nobody can stop me from gouging out your eyes im no god but im closer than you im no angel but you might be soon close your blinds, lock your doors big bad wolf is back again bigger, badder, better wolf greater, darker, madder wolf teeth like knives and claws like daggers six golden eyes staring into your soul oh right, thats me! i m i n y o u r h o m e
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Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015 at 12:10 AM UTC
werewolf thoughts at midnight
there are bones between my teeth moonlight glimmering in my eyes dried blood in my nails, in my hair my head pounding (thump. thump. thump.) you know they say blood is thicker than water but that just means blood is more likely to stick in my throat coughing up family ties one by one glistening red memories, leaving only a metallic aftertaste sick nightmare fantasy of ripping open bodies im the monster in your fairytale stories lets do a bit of editing, perhaps? lets shred the whole **** book, perhaps? lets set fire to the town, perhaps? im tired of pretending to be your precious child, perfect student, "the innocent one" i want to paint obscene material in your blood (in the name of art, of course) @god do you ever feel unreal? are you even real? am i? no i have to be real, I can feel the blood dripping down my arm, the bones cracking in my spine im real. im real. im real. everything hurts!!!!! fuCK i cant wait to rip you all to shreds !!!!!! T H I S I S N O T A D R E A M walking on eggshells is far more difficult with digitigrade legs, im not gonna try to be nice anymore i dont need to be nice anymore why be nice when you can **** why just **** when you can slaughter? nobody can stop me from lighting up the post office, nobody can stop me from gouging out your eyes im no god but im closer than you im no angel but you might be soon close your blinds, lock your doors big bad wolf is back again bigger, badder, better wolf greater, darker, madder wolf teeth like knives and claws like daggers six golden eyes staring into your soul oh right, thats me! i m i n y o u r h o m e
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my cousin liked to have breakfast at an open air café, with his fiancée, on Fridays the owner knew she loved French breads, having been schooled at the Sorbonne   the bakery made them at his behest     he would tell his staff to keep one for her and to bring a bag when served; she always saved half for later   rush hour was madder than usual   that night, until the bombs blasted and brought the synovial silence that comes in the wake of wondering, what has happened?     the sirens screamed soon enough and my cousin smelled the smoke   cordite, yes, but burnt baklava, Maamoul as well   his fiancée came to him that night   watched and waited to hear if anyone they knew   was lost, their hands clasped tight, breaths shallow, in the languid hush after the city slowed to its mournful rest   the sun rose, the skies clear, crisp, to their surprise, and they went to the café, where the owner apologized for the wicked, wicked world, and for not having baguettes after the bakery died
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Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 4:46 PM UTC
Baguettes in Beirut
Put me to sleep I says put me back to sleep and lock the door I got some place to be Got someones to see. You can't understand You surely can't understand I needs to dream my same dream I needs to dream my same dream I says This old life does me no good My eyes, they need to be closed I says. Finds me a woman I met sometime last night No madder how I tell it, You can't understand this thang I know fo' certain. I says put me back to sleep I says put me back to sleep Can't you see I got some place to be Got someones to see
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Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 10:49 AM UTC
Same Dream Blues (Ode To Langston Hughes)
The wolves did not just stalk quietly through cadmium woods. Their teeth grew madder and rose from each others throats. The tigers did not just sleep on mossy slopes, they colored the afternoon fushia and indigo from caladon heights, The dragon with its terrible emerald tail and ruby glare, did not merely threaten to incinerate everything around it. Spiders prepare a grave. This thing in a binding tomb. A multitude of flames, a million orange and blue.... Tears cremating the past. A burning snow falling everywhere. When the darkest angel of all, sits at last upon my chest, permanently enfolding me in its radiant wings.... A creature without a voice, A voice without a name. As immortal as mi life, come here at long last to summon the wind. © Crystal Erickson
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Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 11:01 AM UTC
The Instant Gravity of the Void
And how can one go mad Buttercup, when one is already crazier than a loon? Does one get madder through self-indulgence? Pray tell me please, put my mind at ease, Buttercup. Should I drink a whole bottle of mezcal, burn an ounce of herb or snort a mountain of flake? Oh, I do ache, Buttercup! But should I buy a Hummer, spend my money on frivolous things, like endless raindrops? Oh Buttercup, how do you keep your pain in check? Through these restless situations? I think methinks not.
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Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 10:21 PM UTC
Questioning Buttercup
Sere and yellow, Rough and round, [bright pebbles in a mound] Pitted and mellow, Winding our necks round, We wore them. Amber beads unearthed from clay, Fashioned by my artist love, Glowing yellow, filled with day, Captures sunbeams from above. I still love them. Some say gods have made these, To ensnare the light of Sun, But we women saved these, In memory & hope of sons, We keep them. Fat & smooth as butter, We turned them in our hands. The bone beads scraped with madder, The amber just with sand. Those of shadowy carnelian Embedded like a shield, We treasure as we fear them, Like wounds on battlefields. The others soaked with brownish earth, Sere and yellow, Rough and round, [bright pebbles in a mound] Pitted and mellow, Winding our necks round, We wore them. So, when we are dead, take not from us, These rounded, golden suns, But bury them with us, with sword and severed buss, To revere the slaughtered ones, Who never returned to us. Revised November 15, 2016
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Sep 5, 2017
Sep 5, 2017 at 8:55 AM UTC
Amber Beads - Inspired by Giles Watson's photography
111 The Bee is not afraid of me. I know the Butterfly. The pretty people in the Woods Receive me cordially— The Brooks laugh louder when I come— The Breezes madder play; Wherefore mine eye thy silver mists, Wherefore, Oh Summer’s Day?
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3.3k
The Bee is not afraid of me
If its fireworks you want then you shall have it And if its kiss's you want then you shall have that too you deserve all the best in this ******* world Just as mush as I do baby girl. I'm holding on and I'm never letting you go So believe in me and believe in yourself Just let the past go and only let your mind flow Yes! The flowers will grow. Just know that I'm here for you and I will always be No madder what you do in this crazy *** world I just want you to be you that's all And for a truth I will always hold you And carrie you even when your not broken And If we ever get lost in the sauce I will save you Just as long as you remember our first duel of love Like it was just a one-night dream Forever your soul shall rest in peace With my memory in your head So take it in and taste it Its Yummy right , Yes I know Bright red, yellow and black fireworks are blooming across the sky I can see it all As we are looking at each other back and fourth with the argue to kiss one another Its Beautiful, so soft , tasty I couldn't never forget you baby Your like fireworks and kiss's  when you smile so pretty And I swear every time you kiss me its like fireworks in the city & every moment that we spend together and your in my arms its like your the only one in this entire world that truly understands me the most. In a world of different sounds, Of loud and quiet As if fireworks and kiss's were mented To last forever, And ever.
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Dec 27, 2012
Dec 27, 2012 at 10:20 PM UTC
"Fireworks & kiss's"
The Intersection of Interruption and Intermission. Act 2 has been delayed. We will come right back After a word from our sponsors. Remember when Remember when meant More than just a week ago? When the hill was only 30 years high, And still, nothing held the urgency that seems to permeate our every desperate action. I swear we had time, then, It seems, So much more than Aging naturally eats away. But the multitudes have multiplied, as they are want to, And as the telegraph cables Come down for corridors of Light, The speed of time Grows, Relatively accordingly. And so, the second part Of this two part play Starts 10 years later, while we dash madder than ever, racing each other, to first summit the Crisis Peak.
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Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 11:35 AM UTC
It's my birthday. Here's a poem about it.
Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot. Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us." The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand what was going on. The punishment down here was supposed to be the unbearable heat. It wasn't working on these two. He had to ask again what the deal was. Sven replied, "We are Minnesotans and we just got over a freezing winter. This is really great for Olie and Me. A light flickered in the Devil's mind. He went to the thermostat and turned it off. He thought if the heat wasn't a punishment, maybe he'd give them some freezing temperatures. A little while later the Devil came back to check in on Sven and Olie only to find them cheering and giving each other high fives, happier than ever! The Devil questioned them on their actions and Sven said happily, "Back home they always said, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl when Hell freezes over!!!" source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Minnesota#ixzz3Ge5tdz3A
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Oct 19, 2014
Oct 19, 2014 at 9:50 PM UTC
A Favorite Minnesota Joke 4 U
Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot. Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us." The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand what was going on. The punishment down here was supposed to be the unbearable heat. It wasn't working on these two. He had to ask again what the deal was. Sven replied, "We are Minnesotans and we just got over a freezing winter. This is really great for Olie and Me. A light flickered in the Devil's mind. He went to the thermostat and turned it off. He thought if the heat wasn't a punishment, maybe he'd give them some freezing temperatures. A little while later the Devil came back to check in on Sven and Olie only to find them cheering and giving each other high fives, happier than ever! The Devil questioned them on their actions and Sven said happily, "Back home they always said, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl when Hell freezes over!!!" source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Minnesota#ixzz3Ge5tdz3A
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~ *Here is an assertion and showiness in the expanse of white skin – from her high forehead, down her graceful neck, shoulders, and arms. Although the black of her dress is bold, it is also deep, recessive, and mysterious. He stalks her as one does a deer, his palette composed of lead white, rose madder, vermilion, viridian, and bone black. A dash of light rose over the former gloomy background, you see, and the élancée figure shows to much greater advantage. Her body boldly faces forward while her head is turned in profile. A profile of both assertion and retreat. The table provides support, and echoes her curves and stance. One strap of her gown has fallen down her right shoulder, suggesting the possibility of further revelation; one more struggle and the lady will be free. Everything converges to imply a distant sexuality under the professional control of the sitter, rather than offered for the viewer's delectation. Her untamed wilderness remains unseen.* ~
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Aug 4, 2021
Aug 4, 2021 at 9:59 AM UTC
The Fall of Madame X
1. there once was a poem who climbed into a paper boat              and sailed on to the moon              not a moment too soon for they came to lock the sun away! 2. best not mount this whippy one rock-a-billy wild carriage               ride me to the city's end               don't drive me round the bend we can always try a bold bovary-move! 3. look into the fire and sing a song about the lonely, tarrying sea                oh sailor, make it sweet                then I'll put it up on tweet and nary mind; make your children's lullaby. 4. I gives ya posies bright and gay come sit by me...closer, dear                 she smells, then sneezes                 oh, he didn't know how to please her her floral allergies packed him off for good. 5. there was a lazy man from Shadder who said 'twas too cold to empty his bladder                   so, he sent it a-walkies                   off alone to the loo well, it just drove his wife madder! S T, 30 June 2013
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Jun 30, 2013
Jun 30, 2013 at 12:51 PM UTC
boat-shimmerix
**They call me a canker, they say I'm deceptive, with an absinthe in my hand, They call me a cahoot, Abandoned in an abattoir, They made me a psychopath, They hurt me and beat me, With all they had, I said I am what I am, They say am possesed, With black magic,perhaps, or maybe just a dark spirit, So collapsed, They say I look daunting, Someone who's flummoxed, Someone who's forlorn, And a little hoodlum, but i simply can't make them understand, I am a labyrinth, Full of difficult, passages and paths, Through which finding out is complicated, I've had macabres, which i handled by machetes, The madder i got, The smarter they,fed it, With heaves of sickness, they got me misspelt, They didn't know that, I, a psychopath, was "okay" in my own way, they mistreated me, Misplaced me, Misunderstood me, Underestimated me,** Look! I've come up! still they were they, They didn't stop, So I cut them, And beat them, And scared their crap out! Hit me with a dagger, Hit me with a knife, I'LL STILL BE ME, EVEN IN MY NEXT LIFE.
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Mar 1, 2013
Mar 1, 2013 at 11:27 PM UTC
an inside cry..
Last night, ah, yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine There fell thy shadow, Cynara! thy breath was shed Upon my soul between the kisses and the wine; And I was desolate and sick of an old passion, Yea, I was desolate and bowed my head: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. All night upon mine heart I felt her warm heart beat, Night-long within mine arms in love and sleep she lay; Surely the kisses of her bought red mouth were sweet; But I was desolate and sick of an old passion, When I awoke and found the dawn was gray: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. I have forgot much, Cynara! gone with the wind, Flung roses, roses riotously with the throng, Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies out of mind; But I was desolate and sick of an old passion, Yea, all the time, because the dance was long: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. I cried for madder music and for stronger wine, But when the feast is finished and the lamps expire, Then falls thy shadow, Cynara! the night is thine; And I am desolate and sick of an old passion, Yea, hungry for the lips of my desire: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. [The title translates, from the Latin, as 'I am no more the man I was in the reign of the Good Cynara']
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2.3k
Non Sum Qualis Eram Bonae Sub Regno Cynarae
one undead sed to one too undead: "id **** for a romancer whos a necromancer."     Well, abracadabra with just an ounce of my magic i produce half a cadavre and then the other half grab it and shake it until it blabbers: "well im awake but id rather be underground with dead matter." and though ive never been sadder i had to grab her and stab her a thousand times in such patterns that all was left were mere tatters, talk about beaten and battered as all the pieces were scattered (i made em smaller and flatter til they looked good so i blabbered): "you look amazing"- "im flattered" she sed but that didnt matter. im just a ****** whos madder than Hell oh well whats it matter the feelings of a mad hatter madder than other mad hatters collaboratively dont matter in fact the maddest just happens to have had all his dreams shattered. evacuate bowels and bladder. souls eaten, demons get fatter, eternal state of dead palar, dying in Hell, almost had her. god ****
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May 24, 2013
May 24, 2013 at 3:59 AM UTC
The Magic Mike!
A repost: A Roman poem written before The birth of Christ, inspired the title Gone With The wind with Scarlett and Rhett Butler But here you see only old confessions of a man's true love for his beloved who is all gone -Or- (Or a woman's true love for her beloved runner wishing she could have chased.) ~~~ CYNAR*A. ~~~~~ Last night yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine There fell thy shadow, Cynara! Thy breath was shed Upon my soul between the kisses and the wine; And I was desolate and sick of an old passion,   Yea, I was desolate and bowed my head: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. All night upon mine heart I felt her warm heart beat, Night-long within mine arms in love and sleep she lay; Surely the kisses of her bought red mouth were sweet; But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,   When I awoke and found the dawn was grey: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. I have forgot much, Cynara! Gone with the wind, Flung roses, roses riotously with the throng, Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies out of mind But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,   Yea, all the time, because the dance was long: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. I cried for madder music and for stronger wine, But when the feast is finished and the lamps expire, Then falls thy shadow, Cynara! The night is thine; And I am desolate and sick of an old passion,   Yea, hungry for the lips of my desire: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. ~~~~~~~ By:Ernest Dowson For:RhettlvScarlet. to honor Karijinbba in her great loss and healing of her memory chip. ~~~~~~ Copy Rights. ~~~~ Ernest Dowson (1867-1900) died of alcoholism at the age of 32. His downward spiral began at age 23 when he fell for an 11 year old girl who would spurn him at 14 when he proposed marriage. The following year, in 1894 his father died from an overdose. Dowson's mother hanged herself within a year of her husband's death. Soon after this dual tragedy Dowson left for France before returning back to England in 1897. Curiously he lived with the family of his unrequited love. Penniless, heartbroken and filling the empty voids in his life with alcohol, Dowson would spend the last six weeks of his life in the cottage of the Oscar Wilde biographer Robert Sherard who had found him drunk in a bar. Speaking of Oscar Wilde, he wrote after Dowson's death of a,"Poor wounded wonderful fellow that he was, a tragic reproduction of all tragic poetry, like a symbol, or a scene. I hope bay leaves will be laid on his tomb and rue and myrtle too for he knew what true love unrequieted love was." ~~~~~
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Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 12:44 AM UTC
Cynara
A repost: A Roman poem written before The birth of Christ, inspired the title Gone With The wind with Scarlett and Rhett Butler But here you see only old confessions of a man's true love for his beloved who is all gone -Or- (Or a woman's true love for her beloved runner wishing she could have chased.) ~~~ CYNAR*A. ~~~~~ Last night yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine There fell thy shadow, Cynara! Thy breath was shed Upon my soul between the kisses and the wine; And I was desolate and sick of an old passion,   Yea, I was desolate and bowed my head: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. All night upon mine heart I felt her warm heart beat, Night-long within mine arms in love and sleep she lay; Surely the kisses of her bought red mouth were sweet; But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,   When I awoke and found the dawn was grey: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. I have forgot much, Cynara! Gone with the wind, Flung roses, roses riotously with the throng, Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies out of mind But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,   Yea, all the time, because the dance was long: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. I cried for madder music and for stronger wine, But when the feast is finished and the lamps expire, Then falls thy shadow, Cynara! The night is thine; And I am desolate and sick of an old passion,   Yea, hungry for the lips of my desire: I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion. ~~~~~~~ By:Ernest Dowson For:RhettlvScarlet. to honor Karijinbba in her great loss and healing of her memory chip. ~~~~~~ Copy Rights. ~~~~ Ernest Dowson (1867-1900) died of alcoholism at the age of 32. His downward spiral began at age 23 when he fell for an 11 year old girl who would spurn him at 14 when he proposed marriage. The following year, in 1894 his father died from an overdose. Dowson's mother hanged herself within a year of her husband's death. Soon after this dual tragedy Dowson left for France before returning back to England in 1897. Curiously he lived with the family of his unrequited love. Penniless, heartbroken and filling the empty voids in his life with alcohol, Dowson would spend the last six weeks of his life in the cottage of the Oscar Wilde biographer Robert Sherard who had found him drunk in a bar. Speaking of Oscar Wilde, he wrote after Dowson's death of a,"Poor wounded wonderful fellow that he was, a tragic reproduction of all tragic poetry, like a symbol, or a scene. I hope bay leaves will be laid on his tomb and rue and myrtle too for he knew what true love unrequieted love was." ~~~~~
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Mad politicians threaten nuclear war While madder religious maniacs Send suicide bombers to **** and destroy. Bombers brainwashed into believing That vestal virgins await them in heaven. Children starve While adults fight For bits of land. A world divided. Plagued by hate and distrust. Governments killing their own people Except when tied by nameless bureaucrats. Forests and wildlife being cleared away For the sake of gold or drugs Or other means of making Money. It’s a mad, mad world. In which everyone is born to die. What use is that? Perhaps already we are living in Hell. Just Saying. Paul Butters (C) PB 1\5\2017. 2 new lines added 8\5\17.
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May 1, 2017
May 1, 2017 at 9:02 AM UTC
Hell
I write these songs I'll never sing Walk like I'm the ******* queen Don't give a **** 'bout anything Boy you were so mean to me But that's okay 'cause this ain't love Never will be, never was I'm sure you didn't mean to give me hope But that's alright because I'm over it I'm over you, over me, Over whatever the **** we were supposed to be And I'm left here alone with my thoughts again Neither a prayer nor a friend To talk this out and lay to rest And this bed is so much colder now Despite you never being in it I just feel the potential, overwhelming Took my body, not my heart Not like I had one for you to take in the first place I hate your face, but I love the way you used me Called me over, ****** me up Physically bruised me Guess you couldn't really even lose me I was never yours, just a lonely girl with hours to spend In a practically stranger's bed And now I'm left alone with my thoughts again Nothing I say ever makes sense And you sensed that in me Detached from me On a mad quest for not my mind, my body Senses intermixed - boy you wish But you were just a short term solution to a long term problem My mind's got pollution, need a potion just to fix it Drink away my sorrows - don't even got a fake But the smile on my painted face is fake enough to convince poor ******* like you to Get me a drink Give me a dance Send me a wink For a night Same time next week, I'll be on the floor in tears My vision going weak 'Cause no matter how hard I act like it don't matter I find myself getting madder and madder Walking right under the ladders 'Cause my life couldn't get sadder And I know someday I'll really be over you - you being the one night stands - When I'm twenty-two and respected with love from a man not a boy You couldn't break my heart if it never was beating And the feeling in my mind is that my patience is depleting - Like the battery on my cell I stare at for, well, ten hours a day Just trying to find a way to say I never cared about you anyway I would if I could You were never any good Got my number in your contacts Won't ever text me back So I'm jaded and alone Because you won't pick up that phone I know I will never love you, just thought the things you said were true About sticking around And not letting me down Like all those other people I've had to kick to the ground Oh well, I guess closure's overrated And in the end I'll never make it Just a girl with a pen and a ****** up head Staring her shadow down through the night In her cold and empty bed
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Dec 24, 2015
Dec 24, 2015 at 12:39 AM UTC
An anti-love story
I write these songs I'll never sing Walk like I'm the ******* queen Don't give a **** 'bout anything Boy you were so mean to me But that's okay 'cause this ain't love Never will be, never was I'm sure you didn't mean to give me hope But that's alright because I'm over it I'm over you, over me, Over whatever the **** we were supposed to be And I'm left here alone with my thoughts again Neither a prayer nor a friend To talk this out and lay to rest And this bed is so much colder now Despite you never being in it I just feel the potential, overwhelming Took my body, not my heart Not like I had one for you to take in the first place I hate your face, but I love the way you used me Called me over, ****** me up Physically bruised me Guess you couldn't really even lose me I was never yours, just a lonely girl with hours to spend In a practically stranger's bed And now I'm left alone with my thoughts again Nothing I say ever makes sense And you sensed that in me Detached from me On a mad quest for not my mind, my body Senses intermixed - boy you wish But you were just a short term solution to a long term problem My mind's got pollution, need a potion just to fix it Drink away my sorrows - don't even got a fake But the smile on my painted face is fake enough to convince poor ******* like you to Get me a drink Give me a dance Send me a wink For a night Same time next week, I'll be on the floor in tears My vision going weak 'Cause no matter how hard I act like it don't matter I find myself getting madder and madder Walking right under the ladders 'Cause my life couldn't get sadder And I know someday I'll really be over you - you being the one night stands - When I'm twenty-two and respected with love from a man not a boy You couldn't break my heart if it never was beating And the feeling in my mind is that my patience is depleting - Like the battery on my cell I stare at for, well, ten hours a day Just trying to find a way to say I never cared about you anyway I would if I could You were never any good Got my number in your contacts Won't ever text me back So I'm jaded and alone Because you won't pick up that phone I know I will never love you, just thought the things you said were true About sticking around And not letting me down Like all those other people I've had to kick to the ground Oh well, I guess closure's overrated And in the end I'll never make it Just a girl with a pen and a ****** up head Staring her shadow down through the night In her cold and empty bed
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the vastness of an empty soul demystifies the Grand Canyon and shrinks the universe to microscopic molecules barely able to manipulate energy matter that doesn’t matter madder than a hare in March balance skewed undue pressure seasonal disfunction disorder ordering medication naturalization seeking citizenship in an isolation township serving only self-pity to the self-destructive – squatting, gargoyle surveyor on the job soaking in the loathing basking in the glow caused by the discontent of others opioid android locked in the void unemployed laughing at misery in mercy centers meticulously mimicking the miscreants impersonating pain seeking to blend – ostracized miser in designer jeans obscene in drag queen regalia “whiskers from under his pancake make-up” wake-up Godiva, locate the paraphernalia mammalian musculature hide the heart of a snake as she slithers across the floor searching for the perfect surfactant ….her scaly skin itches, uncomfortably tearing my lip skin in the din of her poorly lit closet – together in terror, the admission seems worth the cost lost in the sweet melody of sobbing children and clattering dishes shattered visions misgivings estrangement entangled with commitment obligations oblivion and orange peals appealing to a higher power unanswered questions hover inconsequential adding to the ozone depletion and altered climate owning blame for all the world and her problems I sit with shoulders slumped –
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Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 12:23 PM UTC
easy to say, hard to do
This carpet - a Turkish Smyrna - is made with Gordian knots, tied by the fine fingers of a child tied to a loom by a thin, pale leg. Every centimetre - a hundred knots This carpet - two and a half million knots all Gordian tied tightly by the fine fingers of a child. Each thread is dyed with plants picked by nomad hands from shifting lands Henna oranges and Madder reds Saffron yellows and Indigo blues Colours bloom and fade with the change of seasons. Patterns are centuries old, never drawn or sketched, only sung to the young by the old blind weavers, who walk the workshops and the aisles of looms. In this shadow world of soured and fetid air dreamless children live threadbare under a black sun. Wide borders holding everything in place no figures or stories, just a labyrinth of abstract shape and colour drawing you in to the treasure at the centre of the rug. And the knowledge of the knots the Gordion knots tied by the fine fingers of a child tied to a loom by a thin, pale leg.
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Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 12:07 PM UTC
Turkish Smyrna
you remind me of the evening thunderstorms: cold, terrifying, yet so beautiful. when i said that your smile radiates joy, i wasn't exaggerating. when i whispered that the touch of your hand warms my heart, i meant it from my deepest palace of mind. the thought of you alone is enough to make my body tremble for i cannot cope with so much feelings. i'm craving for you yet my heartbeat always goes faster every time i think of being close to someone other than myself. i am eager for the sense of your skin against mine but i still can't get rid of these metals that locked my heart out for you. i want to say that i'm madly in love but i don't know if i can be madder than i already am. being with you is like cutting my own body parts into pieces; it hurts so bad but it's much better than being alive and numb. i wish i could take it easy like the detectives when they solve problems but my problem is you and you are nothing but a bunch of puzzle pieces that confuse me all the time. i really wish things weren't so complicated inside this forest in my head.
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Jan 9, 2014
Jan 9, 2014 at 9:26 AM UTC
this one i made for you
You know what i'm tired of? I'm tired of mental abuse.. No one understands, cause no one ever sees.. There a no visible scars, no proof, and no one has seen. I am a target of angry outbursts and sarcasm. It piles up on me, day after day, month after month. "You just wanna make me look bad!" He tells me "You brought it on yourself" he laughs "I treat you like you deserve to be treated!" "For a smart person you're really dumb" "Your friends will start to hate you" And when i say i've had enough.. "You make me madder than anyone ever has!" "You're such a liar!" "You're so ******* selfish! You think the world revolves around you" "That's not what you said, did or felt." "You just try to make me look bad" "I didn't attack you! Your mind is really messed up for thinking that" "You are welcome to leave at any point. There's the door" -i'm sorry daddy- "I have your best interests at heart, if you would just listen to me more.." "I can't stand to look at you right now.." "You'll never change" -yes daddy- When my brother asks me why i'm crying "Your sister is crying cause she knows she did something wrong" -i'm sorry i dropped the cup of coffe on the floor- "You've got to be ******* kidding me!" "You will be the death of me!" "You had to mess things up again didn't you?" -sorry Daddy- "Too late, i'm done with you never thinking!.." "This is all your fault!" I hate how i can't do something without instantly thinking -was that okay?- "How dare you eat that taco without asking!" "You just keep pishing my buttons!" "This is YOUR issue!" "You can't do anything right!" "You need to be careful in how you respond to me" But the ones that hurt the most.. "The house is peacefull when you're gone" "We can't sleep when we know you'll be home soon" "You'll never change" I try my best.. And i can't just leave, cause i still love him.
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Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 1:56 PM UTC
Mental abuse
You know what i'm tired of? I'm tired of mental abuse.. No one understands, cause no one ever sees.. There a no visible scars, no proof, and no one has seen. I am a target of angry outbursts and sarcasm. It piles up on me, day after day, month after month. "You just wanna make me look bad!" He tells me "You brought it on yourself" he laughs "I treat you like you deserve to be treated!" "For a smart person you're really dumb" "Your friends will start to hate you" And when i say i've had enough.. "You make me madder than anyone ever has!" "You're such a liar!" "You're so ******* selfish! You think the world revolves around you" "That's not what you said, did or felt." "You just try to make me look bad" "I didn't attack you! Your mind is really messed up for thinking that" "You are welcome to leave at any point. There's the door" -i'm sorry daddy- "I have your best interests at heart, if you would just listen to me more.." "I can't stand to look at you right now.." "You'll never change" -yes daddy- When my brother asks me why i'm crying "Your sister is crying cause she knows she did something wrong" -i'm sorry i dropped the cup of coffe on the floor- "You've got to be ******* kidding me!" "You will be the death of me!" "You had to mess things up again didn't you?" -sorry Daddy- "Too late, i'm done with you never thinking!.." "This is all your fault!" I hate how i can't do something without instantly thinking -was that okay?- "How dare you eat that taco without asking!" "You just keep pishing my buttons!" "This is YOUR issue!" "You can't do anything right!" "You need to be careful in how you respond to me" But the ones that hurt the most.. "The house is peacefull when you're gone" "We can't sleep when we know you'll be home soon" "You'll never change" I try my best.. And i can't just leave, cause i still love him.
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Mistake. A miss taken. A misstep taken. A misstep is all it takes. A misstep takes it all. Take a misstep, all breaks. A misstep is all it takes to break. A misstep is all it takes to break your spirit. Do you know the feeling of adding onto a mistake? Switching, twisting, making it more appealing, but no matter what you make, what it used to be leaves an imprint on the paper. Black on white. Wrong on right. Don’t you wish it wasn’t so? But you can’t delete your save data, like in some game. You can’t just start over, blank slate, new avatar, new name. The system will never forget; On that, you can place your bet. And in case you’re wondering why... Regret. Like a whirlpool out of control, like a rampant snowball, runaway, amassing all intrusive memories it can gather, moments and details you would rather forget, but the fact that you remember makes you madder! And it is as such with all matter. Mistakes leave a stain on your brain. Wipe the muck? No such luck. Because that’s not how the world works, you see? The way of the universe is entropy.
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Jan 30, 2018
Jan 30, 2018 at 7:47 PM UTC
Entropy