( i )

I lucked out
on table 4 last night
window seat
baseboard heat
with intimate passages
from Ginsberg
in his purest
and most evident form

Cover-all Carl was draped
in his usual garb
(turning pages
of yesterday's news)
animating, culturing, bantering
on the fate of the
Greek barber
(in an accent of which
I'm not so sure)

His cronies
looked on
(with a twisted conviction)
countering
with their own tales
of ingovernance and woe
did you know that Panasonic
lost 5 billion last quarter?

The evening moved
in time lapse...
with painted winds,
streaming lights
and a host of
high school girls
running cold

Maleah passed
on her late shift
(checking the pile and trough),
patronized the boys
and called it a night

( ii )

The bald man
is back at it again
bickering at the till
(something about
a cold free coffee
or 99 cents
or the coloured guy
behind him who got it hot)
a kind Filipino
is trying to get it done
(at 8 bucks per)
losing her cool
and shedding a quiet tear

Wonder what the Purewals
or Haitians or Cossacks
would have to say
about this grim public reminder,
wonder what
this sad f*ck
will do tonight...
without his
bus pass
or sling sack
or broken Turkish stems

The fiery red light was staring into my soul.
There was nobody around...
So naturally I hit the gas.

Looked up in that rear view
and some crazy blue lights were ashinin'.
Then came my swerve of shame to the beckoning curb.

My friend to the right kept his cool
While mowing down on two cheese burgers
As he ate, I shook with a casual fear.

The talk with the police was brief
I handed him my license and registration
and he skipped back over to that cop car.

I sat in fear
he ate burgers
we waited

My boy the police came right on back.
he gave me the blissful news.
NO TICKET.

He began the lecture of eating and driving.
that's when my little burger eater chimed right in.
"Sir, I was just handing her a pickle"

I confirmed the statement.
And next thing I knew I was rollin the streets again
Lucked out.

The voices in my head are extremely loud. I feel so insane because I can hardly make a sound. Thoughts of being crazy, possibly headed to the asylum now. These voices won't shut up. I get stuck up. I go from 0 to 100, it gets ****** up. Not purposely. I may be bipolar but I could care less, you see. Its up to me to control my mind. But if you think it's that easy, you've been wasting time. Thinking you're perfect? Thinking psychology ain't worth it? I lucked out, timed out, and found out...
We all need help!

tenderness leaves
my eyes in capillary ribbons.
your diamond lips are chalked,
released from rock.
your head, a knot of angel pine—
a dark-brown blooming
sticky and lucked to the back
of my throat.
it is in this moment that
I hear a wisp of rapture
blowing through the oak overhead.
my heart’s motor cranked
like October’s last churning
bumble bee.
pollination
susurration
be gone…
you kept looking past me,
your hand on my shoulder.
the precious gauze of your profile
mixed porcelain doll and found a
chisel to perfect your nose.
I feel the love of everything and
you—so unaware of your
beautiful.

I thought I had lucked out,
Of all the things it could have been
It just turned out to be
Yet another listless face in a luckless place.

I may not be gifted.

But I have this insatiable urge to be great, magnificent, and talented.

I want to inspire awe.

I want to impress not only my peers,

but most importantly myself.




I was given an amazing opportunity

to attend a superb university.

While I believe I lucked out in my admission,

I believe a blessed epoch in my life

has just begun.



I write this poem as a promise for the future.

This goal I have

is not an easy task.

It will require years

of incredibly hard work and dedication.



I will work to achieve this.

Even if I need to stay up all night and day

testing the limits of my mind,

it will all be worth it when I can look back and say:


I did it.

"C'mon. I haven't had *** in three months and I feel like I'm going to explode."

"That's not good."

"You're telling me. Wish there was someone who'd take care of it for me."

"I'll be over in a bit."

I drove in calculated trance.
I'd made the trek hundreds of times.
I was looking forward to showing her
new tricks I'd learned,
but I feared the segue.

The desperation call from an ex--
always easy to bed, I have yet to feel regret,
but finding the energy to strike up chit-chat
before the undress--
always the hardest part.

I couldn't remember the code to her neighborhood's gate,
so I lied in wait, until some sappy black SUV
strolled in first.

I pulled into her parking spot.
Rubbed my eyes.
Sprayed on a dash of cologne.
Dragged a comb across my hair.
Looked at the clock on my dash--2:00 a.m.
I aged much too far for these
fires,
but I inhaled deeply,
slammed the car door,
marched to the door,
rang the bell--
a bark,
a scramble of paws,
then bare feet patting wooden floors.
She opened the door,
gauging my face to see if she was allowed to smile.
I put my right arm
on the low-side of her back,
peered over her shoulder.
The house was littered with dusty textbooks,
dog food, bras,
cut out magazine articles,
and half-empty cups.

"You smell good," she said easing into a grin.

"Thanks. You too."

"Want to watch some Disney Channel?"

"You're still doing that?"

"Makes me feel innocent. C'mon." She grabbed my hand.
Led me to her bedroom in the back.
Cartoons laughed
as I pulled off my shoes.
She desperately fought for conversation,
"So it's been awhile."

"Yep."

"How are classes?"

"Good," I sighed, looked at her brows, "yours?"

"They are pretty good. I am finally getting to student teach."

"Awesome."

"Yeah, it is. I really love my kids."

"They lucked out."

"I wouldn't say that."

Her ******* looked bigger.
Maybe it was the shirt.
She was in tiny khaki shorts,
her toes chipped--painted red.
She let her hair down.
Sat on the bed next to me.

"How are the fellas?"

"Nonexistent. How's the girlfriend?"

"We're on a break."

"Sorry to hear that."

"For the best."

She kept curling her toes
under her ***,
her hands tugged at her shirt
anxiously,
the cartoons went to commercial break,
she started to open her mouth again,

"Sooo--"

I snagged her hands,
pinned her to the bed,
licked the exposed portion of her chest,
unbuttoned her shorts.
Pink ******* with white roses on them,
I pulled them off quickly,
threw them as far away as possible.
I gnawed on her thighs,
while sneaking my hands under her shirt,
her ******* were exceptionally vocal--
more so than any other woman's I have seen.
I tore at her shirt and bra until both were gone.
She stared at me wildly, trying to understand
where the old man she once knew had gone.
I ******,
I fingered,
I spat,
until her body ached,
she ran her fingertips along my waistband,
and undressed me.
Trying to inspire an *******.
She slurped
and rubbed at my *****,
I started to grab a ******,
but she said she was on "beastly" birth control.
I turned her around,
pumped from behind,
not wanting to look at her eyes
or gaping mouth,
I sent my mind off to fantasizing about
other mouths, *******, and *****
in an attempt to stay hard,
after half-an-hour or so,
her body convulsions became so grotesque,
I pulled out without finishing.

While she shook on the bed,
I pulled on my pants,
"Well, I should probably go."

"I was hoping you'd sleep over."

"We aren't like that."

"We used to be."

"Relationships change."

"So you think we still have a relationship?"

"Sure."

"So do you still love me?"

"No. It's more of a pornographic relationship."

I left her room,
while a tween sitcom mocked me with a laugh track,
I glanced at her family portraits outside her room.
Went into the night.
Went home.
Slept without taking a shower.
Woke to find myself unchanged.
Weary.
Meaningless.
Thirsty for love, sorrow, remorse--anything.

I've had my share
of *** and drugs
but I'm not like
those other thugs

I'm a big fan
of rock n' roll
but I'd rather kiss you
than smoke a bowl

I spend lots of time
rockin' out
truely  I'd rather
be taking you out

you're such a good girl
I'm such a bad guy
how did such  a bad man
catch such a good eye?

you make me
such a happy guy
lifting me beyond
any other high

This "***-smokin-liberal"
has really lucked out
so excited and happy
so pleased he could shout

In absence,
A lost key is only
                   A catastrophe,
When the door is locked from the outside,
And everything important is within.

That is when we are reaquianted,
With an old concept.
One that can occur to anyone-
                              If they have the mind to lose the key.
It is the called,
                  The snowball effect.
When we are to leave without our prizes inside.
And all that is taken for granted,
Is kept beyond the width of a door.

But most of all, there is one,
Who will again take for granted his prizes,
And lose them along the way.

And although, these are not materialistic prizes,
They are prizes of greater worth than any
Kept behind that blasted door.

When these, his friends,
Give sacrifice, and he cares not to thank them.
When these, gifts to an undeserving man,
Are asked yet again, and these favors are not repaid.

This, is the snowball effect.
Something that can occur to anyone,
                    -if they have the mind to take their prizes for granted
Or ever have the idiocy to lose the key that unlocks them.
For locked out he may be,
This man has lucked out.

I was born on Sepetember the third of 1998.
I was born two weeks early,
but I, to my mother,
was always a week late.
I've always been in-decisive.
You see, some people are born
holding AR-15's,
But I was born holding a
bright red bubble gun.
Maybe it's just that I'm
a girl, but I
barely know what a gun is,
much less
how to fire one.

My brother was born
three weeks early,
his gun was fully loaded,
stocked full of ammunition.
He easily fires round after
round of laughs straight
into the crowd.

When I was little, I
couldn't tell when people's
ammunition was real
and when they were
just firing blanks.
whether all people had
bubble blowers like me,
or if I was peering down
the barrel of a long bellied
rifle-snake.

my Father tried to warn me,
but my mother re-assured
him this was a
"phase I would grow out of,"
my brother tried to prepare
me, even
gave me his dart gun
full of laughing gas,
but I couldn't get the
hang of it.

It wasn't until later that I
learned if you wanted
to shoot straight,
you couldn't shoot up
first.

On the first day of
third grade, I
brought my bubble blower to school.
I thought that since
guns were illegal,
I would be immune.
I didn't know that
even a dull
toothpick is enough
to penetrate
a bubble that I
used to think was stronger
than steel.

But you.
You were always different.
You know how they always
say, "Don't bring a knife,
to a gun fight,"?
Well you brought yours
anyway.
A green jagged dagger
with your name engraved on
the side, Jaiden.

On that first day of third grade,
we were brand
new insurgents.
We lacked the right kind
of ammunition to survive
in the jungle they
called third grade.

I've always been a quick learner,
but. You
stuck out like a sore
thumb.

You see, you talked
a little funny,
and hitched your pants up
when you ran.
And you weren't exactly
what they called,
"pretty."

Sometimes differences
make you more alive.
But mostly they paint upon
you a big red bullseye.

Some people,
are born with snipers
in their hands,
Jaiden

And the snipers, they
didn't have a hard time finding
the big red target painted on
you.

I lucked out, you see,
I've always been
a fast runner.
And somewhere along the road
to fourth grade,
I exchanged my red bubble blower
for a black ****** rifle.
And it wasn't that much
different for me to
Run and zigzag.

Jaiden! Don't hike up your pants.
Just run and zigzag.
Jaiden, Please! just Run and zigzag
Jaiden! You won't survive this!
Just Run and zigzag.
Jaiden, Please just
run and zigzag.
Please.

We loaded guns full of ammunition,
well placed taunts
aimed directly at her flaws.
We picked her apart.

Jaiden Bailey moved the next year
We made her life a living hell.
When given a choice,
Be a bully or be the bullied,
with much shame,
I admit I chose the opposite
of Robert Frost.
I chose the road more traveled by
And that has made
all the difference.

Cheering for the man walking slowly, deliberately, with his bag of goodies, as the light blinks in accordance to his step.
Blinking a warning of the cars to come.
Cheering for him to cross.
His waddling steps, his mismatched limbs, he HAS a place to get to. Cheering for him to get there.

Cheering for the car you can hear before you see. The ailment of technology.
Stumbling sputtering, dragging tooth and nail, over the paved street towards salvation of the station.
Grab a little air and the wheel will keep spinning. Driving off now, they have a place to go now.
Cheering for their wheeling off in peace.

Cheering for the nurse, still dressed in arms. Who sees hope and fail all day long, at days end she finds herself, a lottery ticket, or two, or three, with a little extra hope that she
will be one in a trillion.
Grabbing all the hope she can muster, just her, clenching those tickets hoping. Maybe even praying, or chant.a.lanting that this will be the one.
Cheering that the woman will find hope wherever she can.

Cheer for the family, bus tickets in hand, mother to the baby and the four in between, pressing their pass into the machine, one after another, for a ride.

Cheering for the man upstairs, rattling away in his chair. He has had loves and companions once, more mail in his mailbox once.
Cheering that a letter will suppress the downward facing etchings of his mouth.

Cheering for the girl who, sits alone on her perch, while true, thinking of falling or flying or both, from the suspended atmosphere of her perch.

Cheer for the ****, cheer for the ******, cheer for the best of lucked, cheer for the cracked, cheer for the fallen, cheer for the ones that beam, cheer for the home team.

The voices in my head are extremely loud. I feel so insane because I can't make a sound. Thoughts of being crazy, possibly headed to the asylum now. These voices won't shut up. I get stuck up. I go from 0 to 100, it gets ****** up. Not purposely. I may be bipolar but I could care less, you see. Its up to me to control my mind. But if you think it's that easy, you've been wasting time. Thinking you're perfect? Thinking psychology ain't worth it? I lucked out, timed out, and found out...
We all need help!

Our new boss is a fabulous woman
She takes the time to talk with the staff
The boss before her was a nasty man
Our work environs were as rough as chaff
Everyone is far happier with the lady boss
She listens to all our work place issues
We have lucked it for a caring boss
The department no longer needs tissues
Since they sacked that most unbearable ***
There is a good feel at our work station
Stress leave has been reduced quite a bit
All staff members are full of elation
Our new lady boss is a work place delight
We're so pleased to have her, too right!

I told you to run while you could,
get out before it's too late.
because I was the friendliest to strangers
and the strangest to friends.
My heart had never been open to dividends.
But your strangeness was similar to my strangeness: pushing out of fear - or had I made you that way?
You despised Mr. Hyde more than I did, but you loved Dr. Jekyl fervently with more compassion than I could ever give him...

I told you how it sometimes felt like I was living another's life... and looking at it now it's like I was sitting on a perpetual swing: x distance forward and x distance back.

We lucked out for so long because I would pull when you would push, and when I pushed you would pull me back. And for a while we both pulled. And then forever onward we pushed. Or forever wayward. Sometimes pulling in doesn't keep people from going away. And when you push someone, you can't expect them to pull you back. Because not everyone is sitting on the same swingset.

Frozen Bones



Mom, why my bone aches?

Why my entire body quakes?



Is this a punishment or am I out lucked?

I wish death would release me than being plucked



Mom, I don’t need drugs or chemotherapy

And no blunt hospitals or hopeless radiotherapy



Mom, before it’s too late and I’m trapped with aphasia

The life’s agonizing; please liberate my soul by euthanasia



Sorry Mom I talk so ruthless,

Nobody wishes life to be so worthless

Promise me you won’t cry when I am gone

Wherever I’d be, your life must stay on.



Your grief is giant that’s last thing I know

I wished you would have seen me for many years to grow



Oh Mom! But these poisonous bones, Why couldn’t be fixed by glue?

As ashes of those bones would immerse and my soul flew

I shall fall asleep peacefully and see a dream of glorious view

Mom, you shall be glad imagining, my life will be calm and new



My life here is nothing but the silent assembly of frozen bones

No flesh, no blood, no pain, everywhere are just peaceful zones

The only question
Echoing in my head
I guess I'll never know
Because I never acknowledged
What I had before

Even this cold heart
Wishes to cry
My mind just keeps reeling
Hoping to find out
What the hell have I done

I let you slip
Right through my closed fingers
But I knew it was meant to happen
The faint image
Was meant to disappear

My hatred for love
Clouded how I really felt
To the one person
That understood everything about me
What the hell have I done

You got away from me
Like a jackrabbit at midnight
I just wont find another
You were all I wanted
I just wanted you to be happy

I thought not once
When I decided
That you were better off
Without me in your sights
But know sorrow I can't drown

It's overwhelming me
I can't sleep it away
It has a mind all its own
What the hell have I done
You're just another ghost

I curse myself now
For being so stupid
Yet I know
Deep down
You really are better off

These walls are closing in
Telling me how stupid I am
For not trying just a little harder
What the hell have I done
Is all I can think about

I let you vanish
Into unknown land
But I'll see you soon
Someday, maybe one day
We'll cross paths again

But it's not enough
I know it's not
I can really say it now
But it's too late
Goodbye and farewell

What the hell have I done
My tongue keeps getting twisted
My eyes are vacant
My chest a hollow shell
Of what once was

I lucked out
But better yet I lost out
I'm a mess
You're not the monster
I am

What the hell have I done
**** it all to hell
I'll dine with the devil
I'll sell my soul a million times
Yet I'll still never know

I'm just a being
That deserves to die
If I say those words
I was afraid to say before
Maybe they will clear the list

No use is it now huh
You're already with him
I really lost you forever
But that wasn't the last poem
You have for me and you know it

You want to curse me
You want to break me further
I'll tell you this now
Go for it
And maybe then I will know
What the hell I have done

My body decays
Even more rapidly
My sanity
Lost at birth
Lost again when you wrote those words

We're not done
You know we're not
Those eastern winds
Will blow again
And bring your cries to me

What the hell have I done
Please tell me the answer
But you wont
You'll let me go mad
I'm just not worth it

Yoy killed my
Not the metaphor
But literally killed me
When You said
''My last poem to you''

Ha-ha it's funny
Because I thought
You already wrote it
What the hell have I done
By letting you go

I watched it all
My sweet painful torture
Shame you'll never read this
It's just another goodbye poem
That I wrote drunkenly to you

Here are the words
Read them close
The meaning is infinite
But they are true
I LOVE YOU!

Captured in the psych ward part 29

You see this morning was different for Ron because of fran and dans closing for business, he had nowhere to go to have his morning start, so he went to woollies and bought so many groceries and every morning he woke up and had a coffee from the coffee machine he bought down the mall as well as making an omelette, so he can get a good breakfast down him and after he finished his first breakfast he went to the hospital and clocked on
And went into the HDU to deliver the morning medications and Chsrlie was watching TV with Blll and Patty was yelling curse words saying can you let me out of this fucken hell hole, can you let me out of here right now and Ron went over to try and calm him down which was an impossible feat and then bill came out and said, would you guys shut the **** up, you are driving me really crazy and Patty said, up away kid, let us adults have our quarrel and bill feeling intimidated went back to the TV and watched studio 10, which only had 3 minutes to go and when it finished Charlie got up and went over to Ron and said, when is my morning medication, you see I really fucken want it. You see I am performing up in outer space and today he is expected on the planet Jupiter  in 20 minutes. And it takes 10 to drift off to sleep and Ron went to the cupboard and got his medication and gave it to him and Charlie went straight to bed and he said he dreamt about performing on Jupiter but really he dreamt about being kidnapped by old friends who can't understand that he is a grown up now and he tries and tries to get this teasing out of his head by people who don't tease in ways that families don't understand, mind you Ron says that we are sort of giving Charlie a free ride here. You see we can't be his guardians, and then he asked the nurses would you please ask about history about Charlie, cause he is not sick enough for here
And then there was this voice as soon as Chsrlie woke up saying hang on hang on marks not like us anymore, and he said that 3 times
And then he told the nurses and Ron was in his office learning more about
Voices and how they can harm a person and then Ron went out for a bit of fresh air and this young bloke, he must have been about 15 really telling out this horrible language and Ron said. What is your fucken problem and the teenager said, nuttin' I am just going around town enjoying myself and maybe I curse at a few people, but that is how I am buddy, so mate if you don't leave me alone I will track down where you live with a firearm and shoot you and
There will be no more saviour left in this world, you see there is no such thing as this nonsense god that gives you the fucken right to be like us, man, your an old fogie ****, so ******* you stupid fucken **** and Ron yelled out, with your ***** mouth, I think you would fit in nicely at my HDU and he said. Are you referring to me as a crazy person, cause you are crazy thinking you crap doctors are actually helping us and Ron said well, no it's not really helping you by yelling at you, you need to understand I have more fucken pressures than you, so just understand that your life is so carefree compared to every life is hanging in the balance on me making the right or wrong decision
So mate. Just watch who you call a fucken ****, ok and the young bloke went away saying to himself I know you are the boss there but you ain't got no powers and Ron said, no I have the sources which are much better than powers and he said go with that and then Ron went back inside and patty picked up a syringe and started to run after people with it saying that I am George Washington and I am more powerful than any human being who has ever walked on this earth and if I **** one of you with this syringe, my life will be much better you see. One of you idiots a day, just they way john Becker did it on his show and the nurses said, no
He copped the flack for that and do you want to cop the flack too and patty said yeah, maybe I to if it allows me to get rid of one idiot a day and then Ron came in with really strong gloves so he wouldn't get stabbed and said, now come on George, you see you have to understand that it's crazy to say your someone your not and patty said at the moment I am Jesus Christ and also the devil you see I praise people but I condemn them as well, cause life ain't easy being stuck in here you know it really ain't easy at all and then Ron reached in and took the syringe off Patty and then said I recommend these thick gloves are ever so great to have here at this hospital and then Patty was lucked in his room till dinner and the patients knocked on Patty's door saying are you in there crazy person are you in there crazy person crazy person are you in there and then about 1 hours time dinner came out
And Ron spoke to everyone at the table and then at the end he got the nightly medications and then clocked off and walked past this cafe which opens at 6 each morning
And he went in there to try it out and he spoke to the staff, who was Frederrick Gunner who opens
And leaves at 10-10 and comes bank at 6-00 closes at 9 and Ron told Fred about his day and how he saw this young man who wanted to fight him and Fred said that his son was a bit like that, and every day when he tried to look after him, he would snap and say, you get the **** away from me, you get the ****
Away from me, and then said. I want to bash you up and also bash you senseless as well, you see dad. He'll say, I want you and mum to get out if my room, and out of my room today and forever and ever. And I just look at him and say. Mate you are a fool, you are a total total fool, and then I locked him in his room. You see it's the only thing to keep him ****** quiet and after 1 hour I walked in there and he said why don't you fucken shut up, you should fucken shut up ya **** and then he will kick me and mind you he has a good Kung fu grip, he has a good Kung fu kick too, I am finding it hard to make him understand I am just protecting him from being fought by people who don't really give a rats *** about this word protect and on that note Ron left saying goodbye to Fred and went to his house with a big bottle of coke and fell asleep in front of the box starting off watching Greys anatomy to learn a bit about hospitals in the acting world


Sent from my iPhone

The hippie days were rather hard
For a young guy just starting out.
Off- brand jeans and crew-cut hair
Didn’t carry all that much clout.
I was into show tunes and Elvis,
The Beatles were great and new.
I lucked right into the Troubadour
And fell in love with Elton too.

One of my ladies loved Airplane
The other loved the Monkees
The problem was that only one
Was ever approved by junkies.
But I was so squeaky clean
That I was only into cheap coffee.
I swear I could get high as a kite
On Russel Stover’s fine toffee.

But something changed for me
The day I first heard David Bowie.
It sounds kind of childish now
But he was special and so glowy.
He pointed out some dichotomies
Between what was said and done.
At that time we needed something
And Bowie was obviously the one.

I didn’t stick there with his genie
But his genius opened some doors
And affected my art and my poetry
Way back then and forever more.
So then it was Prince, The Doobies,
Aretha Franklin and Annie DiFranco.
And, of course, the one-hit wonders
About eighteen hundred or so.

It wasn’t always about music
This social code of mine.
But music underscored it all
Made even politics toe the line.
We made changes in civil rights
And even affected an evil war.
There is no reason to doubt it.
Music will continue to change more.

Captured in the psych ward part 29

You see this morning was different for Ron because of fran and dans closing for business, he had nowhere to go to have his morning start, so he went to woollies and bought so many groceries and every morning he woke up and had a coffee from the coffee machine he bought down the mall as well as making an omelette, so he can get a good breakfast down him and after he finished his first breakfast he went to the hospital and clocked on
And went into the HDU to deliver the morning medications and Chsrlie was watching TV with Blll and Patty was yelling curse words saying can you let me out of this fucken hell hole, can you let me out of here right now and Ron went over to try and calm him down which was an impossible feat and then bill came out and said, would you guys shut the **** up, you are driving me really crazy and Patty said, up away kid, let us adults have our quarrel and bill feeling intimidated went back to the TV and watched studio 10, which only had 3 minutes to go and when it finished Charlie got up and went over to Ron and said, when is my morning medication, you see I really fucken want it. You see I am performing up in outer space and today he is expected on the planet Jupiter  in 20 minutes. And it takes 10 to drift off to sleep and Ron went to the cupboard and got his medication and gave it to him and Charlie went straight to bed and he said he dreamt about performing on Jupiter but really he dreamt about being kidnapped by old friends who can't understand that he is a grown up now and he tries and tries to get this teasing out of his head by people who don't tease in ways that families don't understand, mind you Ron says that we are sort of giving Charlie a free ride here. You see we can't be his guardians, and then he asked the nurses would you please ask about history about Charlie, cause he is not sick enough for here
And then there was this voice as soon as Chsrlie woke up saying hang on hang on marks not like us anymore, and he said that 3 times
And then he told the nurses and Ron was in his office learning more about
Voices and how they can harm a person and then Ron went out for a bit of fresh air and this young bloke, he must have been about 15 really telling out this horrible language and Ron said. What is your fucken problem and the teenager said, nuttin' I am just going around town enjoying myself and maybe I curse at a few people, but that is how I am buddy, so mate if you don't leave me alone I will track down where you live with a firearm and shoot you and
There will be no more saviour left in this world, you see there is no such thing as this nonsense god that gives you the fucken right to be like us, man, your an old fogie ****, so ******* you stupid fucken **** and Ron yelled out, with your ***** mouth, I think you would fit in nicely at my HDU and he said. Are you referring to me as a crazy person, cause you are crazy thinking you crap doctors are actually helping us and Ron said well, no it's not really helping you by yelling at you, you need to understand I have more fucken pressures than you, so just understand that your life is so carefree compared to every life is hanging in the balance on me making the right or wrong decision
So mate. Just watch who you call a fucken ****, ok and the young bloke went away saying to himself I know you are the boss there but you ain't got no powers and Ron said, no I have the sources which are much better than powers and he said go with that and then Ron went back inside and patty picked up a syringe and started to run after people with it saying that I am George Washington and I am more powerful than any human being who has ever walked on this earth and if I **** one of you with this syringe, my life will be much better you see. One of you idiots a day, just they way john Becker did it on his show and the nurses said, no
He copped the flack for that and do you want to cop the flack too and patty said yeah, maybe I to if it allows me to get rid of one idiot a day and then Ron came in with really strong gloves so he wouldn't get stabbed and said, now come on George, you see you have to understand that it's crazy to say your someone your not and patty said at the moment I am Jesus Christ and also the devil you see I praise people but I condemn them as well, cause life ain't easy being stuck in here you know it really ain't easy at all and then Ron reached in and took the syringe off Patty and then said I recommend these thick gloves are ever so great to have here at this hospital and then Patty was lucked in his room till dinner and the patients knocked on Patty's door saying are you in there crazy person are you in there crazy person crazy person are you in there and then about 1 hours time dinner came out
And Ron spoke to everyone at the table and then at the end he got the nightly medications and then clocked off and walked past this cafe which opens at 6 each morning
And he went in there to try it out and he spoke to the staff, who was Frederrick Gunner who opens
And leaves at 10-10 and comes bank at 6-00 closes at 9 and Ron told Fred about his day and how he saw this young man who wanted to fight him and Fred said that his son was a bit like that, and every day when he tried to look after him, he would snap and say, you get the **** away from me, you get the ****
Away from me, and then said. I want to bash you up and also bash you senseless as well, you see dad. He'll say, I want you and mum to get out if my room, and out of my room today and forever and ever. And I just look at him and say. Mate you are a fool, you are a total total fool, and then I locked him in his room. You see it's the only thing to keep him ****** quiet and after 1 hour I walked in there and he said why don't you fucken shut up, you should fucken shut up ya **** and then he will kick me and mind you he has a good Kung fu grip, he has a good Kung fu kick too, I am finding it hard to make him understand I am just protecting him from being fought by people who don't really give a rats *** about this word protect and on that note Ron left saying goodbye to Fred and went to his house with a big bottle of coke and fell asleep in front of the box starting off watching Greys anatomy to learn a bit about hospitals in the acting world


Sent from my iPhone

Exhaustion settles deep within my bones
Forcing them to ache from the sheer weight of it all
As they drag this near lifeless human form from her bed

The eerie glow of the monitor strains at my eyes
Washes my t-shirt in its light alone
My hands shake as I violently type out what remains

Running to the bathroom on feet with no direction
A ghost flitting from room to room
Feet pushing hard onto the linoleum with no sensation

Quick yanked over my wet mop
A hand-dye tee
I sure did love him then
Didn’t I?

Sleeping still eludes me
Even though now there is nothing to keep me up
But that person in side my head
That never fails to stop finding things for me to think about

I am caring for a basil plant now
Not even mine I just lucked out with a patch of rocks that gets all the sun
Herbs could desire

I pluck off all the dead leaves
Water it daily
Make sure all the leaves can turn their faces towards the rays

Today is dress up day
Get out of bed
Put on your Lady face
Try again

I’m coming apart at the seams, because I’m picturing you in all of my dreams.
One punch and I’m down for the count, only had one chance and I lucked out.
I’m stuck in this timeless tragedy,
Guess I’ve gotta endure this insanity.

I want to breach the walls or knock them down
Get out of here
Ride into town
And get wasted.

They say that once you tasted just a bit
The fuse is lit
That being so
Then I'm on fire.
Dire consequences shall arise
But I got moody in my eyes and I'm alight.

Can't fight this feeling,reeling
Off the floor
Out the door
I'm not staying any more
Not slowing down
Going to town
Stop me if you dare.
Stop me,
Do you care?

The candle burns
Both ends are turned against the flame
Nothing would,could stay the same
In this frame of mind
Lined and pinned within the bind of kind of
Self destruct.
Looks like I lucked out or in.

If you've never been how can you say
Right or wrong
My life,my day
My way may not be de rigueur
Is that fair
Does it matter
Will it shatter any dreams
In these unconscious streams of constancy
I wait to see
Who I will be
Tomorrow.

Work History

I lucked into my first job
building four-letter radio station
call signs from tangled bins
of consonants and vowels.  

In those days it was
all done by hand.

Sharp corners on the F’s kept you
on your toes, O’s easy to bobble
when you got careless, “slot four,
out the door!”, a newbie mnemonic

forever lodged in my brain.  
I bided my time on the K line

until a spot opened on the W,
the graveyard shift.  It paid
a little more, the hours going
toward my Creative License.

It was the seventies. We chewed
betel to stay awake during long

classical station runs then punched
out woozy, blind in morning sun,
fingers bleeding, teeth stained red.  
Top forty, we popped ‘em out

like biscuits and squirrelled
away X’s to slip onto the ends

of freeform formats, small acts
of defiance.  I quit to avoid prosecution,
nabbed sneaking parts out
in my pants, one letter at a time,

building words, paragraphs, whole
stories in my basement.

i wrote that drunk
i was trying to bypass
an impasse
lucked out and
circumnavigated the
rabbit
ran into the fox
he stole my color
only to find it again
at first light
and now i nod
to the speed of life
the unceasing turning
of greater and greater
wheels
the lightness of death
as it passes

there's no
circumnavigating
that

I have poor vision.
Whether that's an ironic twist of life, a coincidence, or a sick joke being played through the universe's morbid sense of humor,
It's a fact.
And in more senses than one.
I've been short sighted since the age of 12
(On my left anyway)

You know how they say other senses sharpen when one takes damage?
It happened.
Not to my hearing, or my good eye
But in more subtle ways.

My sense of deduction blew through the roof.
My instincts when it came to social interaction became so sharp I could tell you what would happen to someone before it happened with 80% accuracy
I could tell people from smart apes almost instantly
I figured out how to use will to forge and shape my future

Then I met someone
Someone that was so amazing
So awe inspiring and raw and real
That I decided I wanted
No
Needed them in my future
And the game started

We started slow
Friends, smoke buddies, bar buddies
We shared secrets, problems, and great memories
And over time I started to fall for you

One day
While hanging out and smoking
And sharing stories and opinions
There was something in the air
I couldn't take my eyes off of you
Every word you spoke sounded like a songbirds call,
Beckoning my soul gently
Grabbing my attention with every word

That's when I realized I was falling for you.

Every time I saw you after that
Pushed me further down the land slide of surpessed romance
I hid my feelings under the heart on my sleeve

Then came the day we had our first kiss
I needed to know if there was anything there.
A spark
A bad feeling
Warmth
Anything.
So I asked if I could kiss you
A simple request to you
But a test of chemistry to me
And what I found was something so welcoming
So warm, and electric and natural
I needed it in my life for as long as I could have it
Then you told me you liked me
And I thought,
"Wow, I lucked out"

Now we're building a future together
Using an unbreakable bond and determination
And watching each other's backs

And now
We've reached a new peak
And as the sun rises and kisses your cheeks every morning,
And the sky reflects your brilliance and beauty with cloudscapes and sunsets
I'll take each day to appreciate how much you've improved my life
I'll take each snuggle session
Each passionate kiss
Each embrace and secret
Each warm night
And I'll cherish these memories until the day we can reminisce
And look back at the road we've traveled
And smile
And cry
And accept every blessing and tragedy
Every mistake and accomplishment
Every dodged bullet and heated discussion

Today I started working on my vows to you.
I'm sure they'll change a lot over the time it takes to present them
But so will we.
And I've never been more excited about change
Than I am when I think about the changes that will come to us,
With you by my side.

Together, we'll look back at our sweet past
Through rose tinted, candy speckled glasses.

once again my head is buried in the sand,
and all the cigarettes i smoked and all the hearts i broke
had you feeding the whole pack to me out of the palm of your hand.
it was a stroke of luck that i lucked out, clucked out like a chicken without a head,
no direction where to go and using my  feet to guide me instead.
and it was a stroke of genius that struck me out,
we twisted words we crossed arms
we bit tongues until bloOD WAS RUNNING DOWN THE SIDES
of our chins like a mudslide
and the hairs on our skin
prickled up with anxiety when we realized that this mortality is more/less a gift than a blessing,
so i'm done second guessing everything that i see.
i'm relapsing back into hiccups and cigarettes and you're relapsing back into me.
how am i to trust my eyes when the foundation of everything i once believed is now a pile of dirt?
twenty seven seconds left on the microwave and you took them for granted
just like the garden you planted to try to feel alive and alert,
but what would you with twenty seven seconds on your death bed
screaming happy crying hurt
sending fists and laughter bouncing off walls

So smooth with my words, but not caring when it counts
The many times we kissed, i don't know the amount
So drawn in by your whisper
So engaged in everything you said
R.I.P to my heart, because that part of me is dead
what lead me to this point, what put me in this position
Had me concentrating on you, hopefully wishing
So smooth, the way i approached you, so eager with the way i grabbed you
I knew from that day on i didn't want to be without you
You lucked up this time, but i never gained closure
because i never wanted to let go, i just wanted to get closer...

You're the coolest dork I've ever met
You figured it all out
Accidentally
And lucked into a life of
Luxury
I wish it would make you
Happy
But something inside
You cries
At the weight of the ties
And the necessary lies
The burden of successful tries

Humble thoughts , liquor flowing .
Over easy. It's never easy knowing;
The one you want want somebody else .
Met her once; now she with somebody else.
She played me.
I think she played me.
I think I still love her though...
I fell hard ,
There's no denying or escaping.
But my heart is still there ,
Still there ; no erasing,
All those feelings that i had ,
I still have .
He lucked up.

He's the guy you want ?
I can't stay bitter.
She's not the girl I want , I see you in her .
Dang!
Should've never got caught up.
Now I'm singing like usher ,
But I just can't let it burn up.
Like the summer .

Like the summer ...

Like the sun out,
Girl you burn up;
Anything that looks direct .
So my eyes may blind by the time I check;
You. Out.
Get it?
I know you get it.
I'm just wishing he was me or I was him and you were with it.
But I guess it up to you what you do ,
This topic you just dismiss it .
You don't ever write me back .
I'm alone , with this wine, as I sip it .
Gone.

-EP

The image you show is one of a happy boy turning into a man and yet to learn all the crosses of life . Tall dark skin that egg shape head that I can't seem to get the image  out of my head from between my legs .. But let's give you a glass of whiskey in fact that not enough heads up this bottle of bittaz just to make sure take two shots of tequila and I'll have you right where I need you to be . Telling me everything ,everything that hurts you everything that makes you feel some type of way . Telling me about girls you pass true and the fact that they made you feel whole for that second but you mind some how finds it's way back to the smile on my face that brings you at peace . Stories about lectures that teaches you nothing that you already haven't  known but yet it reminds you of me .. Back to the times we would sit for hours talking about life and the world and the people in it and every time you would ask the question did you know? I'll look at you and smile and say no I did not just so you can shake your head and continue thinking that your teaching me the world . Even duh everybody told me other wise I never dough yet for a second that you weren't the reason for my smile. Deep in your stories you said her name Mrs boo and you smirked a smirked you never did when talking about girls that reminded you of me . That very moment my heart sunk so far down I did not hear anything that you said after that it was like  I am at the bottom if the ocean searching for air to breathe know there was no way out but up , up seems so impossible to reach to I fight . Fight back the tear the anger the betrayal the disappointment . Holding my tongue and looking the other way . That night I found myself laying on my back with you on top and I felt nothing and usually we zing but yet i wanted to feel something but instead I stopped and looked you in your eyes and realize after all these year I still couldn't get you to look me in my eyes , I still couldn't get you to kiss me with your heart or touch me with your souls . But yet I fight back from leaving for my heart I was trying to store but how could you store away some you can't find . You lucked me behind jerseys and friends . You feed me to *******  and hoes , but I'll tell you this it won't be no more it my take sometime for me to get over you but lord knows I'll linger your mind for years to come because everything about her reminds you of me so try to leave try to forget you've place yourself in a trap and I wish you the best of luck for the original is on her way out while the Copy is putting you throw a drought...........

                                             ­                                          Yours truly
                                                                ­                        Justice