"losing" poems
if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
otherwise, don’t even start.
if you’re going to try, go all the
way. this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.
go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or
4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to
do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the
worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.
if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
there is no other feeling like
that.
you will be alone with the
gods
and the nights will flame with
fire.
do it, do it, do it.
do it.
all the way
all the way.
you will ride life straight to
perfect laughter,
it’s the only good fight
there is.
207.7k
and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ********** with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014 at 12:54 AM UTC
There comes a day in your life where you meet someone special…
You try so hard not to admit it but you just can’t hold back the way you feel…
I like you.
You get all those feelings…
Those butterflies you can’t stomach,
That heart rate you can’t put at ease,
So baby …
Sweetheart with the beautiful smile. Sure, I loved sleep
But dreams couldn't compare
Not to talking to you until my mind screamed for rest
And the butterflies in my stomach settled
Darling with the endless amount of love…
your love could fill the oceans and climb the tallest trees,
but could your love belong to me someday?
Be given to me?
Can you feel the way I do for you?
& Boy, sometimes I tangle my own fingers
Closing my eyes, losing myself in a daydream
Where your voice is more than an echo in my mind
And I even believe for a few seconds you're still here
Lover, who writes me poems,
You should know I write you too.
I write about you until my fingers ache
And still after that I keep writing
Because there's just some people you could write about forever
And baby, you're one of them.
And boy who played me a song,
Sweet sounds bow down to my ears,
And the way you play your guitar…
& the way I daydream about kissing your lips...
I can’t wait until the sparks of your tongue burn my mouth
send electric shocks through my body
Cutie… with the funny jokes,
You make me laugh.
Today you made me laugh,
like you always do,
you’re the only one who can now a days.
Baby, with those sparkling eyes,
Your eyes haunt me whether I'm dreaming or not
And what haunts me more is the fact that
I can’t have you now
because you ruined it
It hurts to think about it,
So I have to block you out.
Play your songs to someone else,
Read your silly lines of heartache to someone else,
And go find… someone else.
Jul 5, 2013
Jul 5, 2013 at 5:10 PM UTC
The rustle of sheets
the pacing of feet
and the lights outside flicker
in the dark street
that is covered in sleet
the house is losing heat
shiver under blankets
to gain warmth is a feat
when the big hand meets
the little hand, there are seats
that are inanimate and cold
anxiety ain't sweet
anxiety ain't sweet
anxiety ain't sweet
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 12:20 PM UTC
when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved
i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love
you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”
i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”
and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”
and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”
how could i ever leave?
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018 at 2:10 AM UTC
If i lose you i will never be the same anymore,
i will lose my best friend , my soul mate, my smile , my laugh and everything. Once i lose you there will be no more sunlight , no clear skies, just like the clouds my eyes will do the same cry until you make the tears go away, if you walk away it will rain.
I cannot lose you because if i lost you everything would be meaningless,I wandered into the darkness looking for something to bring happiness to my life, something real. I found you and ill be ****** if i lose you. You mean more to me then you'll ever know! I've fallen so hard for you, that if i ever lose you, ill lose myself. If you were a tear i would never dare to cry. I might lose you ! I don't think you'll ever understand how afraid i am of losing you Stephen <3
My worst fear is losing you </3
Maybe im scared because you mean more to me than any other person. You are everything i think about, everything i need and everything i want.
Stay. No matter how hard it is being with me, just stay. I need you!
I get jealous very often, i get jealous so easily and its only because i dont want to lose you <3
Even though i know things won't always last forever, I want to have you for as long as i can. Youre the one who brought the happy feeling inside me again. i haven't felt like this since i was a kid when my family would make me laugh , and i dont think ill ever want to lose my happiness again. Please don't go anytime soon. You make me really happy and i cant risk losing someone like you.
My nightmares are usually about losing you, I don't want us to be strangers again. I dont want to lose you after all weve been through, all the pain we push past , all those beautiful memories.
Promise me, promise me youll never leave.
I dont wanna lose you baby, please dont ever let me.
You see i love you and i dont want to lose you because my life has been better since i found you <3
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 11:26 PM UTC
In a world without technology,
can you imagine how it would be?
To not have any lights.
We'll probably stay home at night.
In a world without technology,
we'll lose forms of connectivity.
We'll not have wifi or 3G,
distance will be as it should be.
However, without technology,
We won't have people far away,
because we can only walk on foot.
Most will live at home for good.
Without technology,
perhaps there'll be more sincerity,
where more people would be seen,
not looking at their phone screens.
Instead they'll stop and listen,
giving undivided attention,
to the people by their side.
Perhaps without technology,
we would have to do things manually.
Life may be tough physically.
But with technology,
is our life really that easy?
Is the world really as it should be?
Are people living in harmony?
Or is there more strife?
More people losing their lives?
Or is there more pain,
more people dying in vain?
What about pollution?
Isn't it part of our contribution?
All the fuels and carbon,
it'll soon bring us to extinction.
Our earth today is now diseased,
life on earth is not at peace.
We can deny all this,
And this is the utter irony,
while it gives us mass connection,
It reduces engagement,
attention and perhaps even compassion.
"Across the globe, millions reported dying",
ends up being desensitizing.
Technology's connectivity,
leaves us more detached than we should be.
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 8:53 PM UTC
(read forward, then backward, line by line)
I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 7:48 PM UTC
( i )
I lucked out
on table 4 last night
window seat
baseboard heat
with intimate passages
from Ginsberg
in his purest
and most evident form
Cover-all Carl was draped
in his usual garb
(turning pages
of yesterday's news)
animating, culturing, bantering
on the fate of the
Greek barber
(in an accent of which
I'm not so sure)
His cronies
looked on
(with a twisted conviction)
countering
with their own tales
of ingovernance and woe
*did you know that Panasonic
lost 5 billion last quarter?*
The evening moved
in time lapse...
with painted winds,
streaming lights
and a host of
high school girls
running cold
Maleah passed
on her late shift
(checking the pile and trough),
patronized the boys
and called it a night
( ii )
The bald man
is back at it again
bickering at the till
(something about
a cold free coffee
or 99 cents
or the coloured guy
behind him who got it hot)
a kind Filipino
is trying to get it done
(at 8 bucks per)
losing her cool
and shedding a quiet tear
Wonder what the Purewals
or Haitians or Cossacks
would have to say
about this grim public reminder,
wonder what
this sad f*ck
will do tonight...
without his
bus pass
or sling sack
or broken Turkish stems
Jan 7, 2017
Jan 7, 2017 at 2:37 PM UTC
She’s more fun when she is drunk
At least…until she’s not
Because she’s puking in the toilet
And regretting her last shot
She’s more confident when she’s drunk
Gorgeous and ready to score
Until she looks in a mirror
And feels even uglier than before
She likes herself more when she is drunk
Until that feeling goes away
When she is so far beyond gone
That her self-hatred comes out to play
She’s happier when she’s drunk
All her issues leave her brain
But they all come crashing back at once
And cause her so much pain
She likes the world more when drunk
It’s filled with so much good
Until one little thing sets her off
And she hates it all more than she should
She likes life more when she’s drunk
Her mind for once feels still
Terrified of losing that feeling
She soon wants to end things with a pill
But she can stop any time she wants
Or so she’d have you believe
Because alcohol makes her seem so happy
That is, until all her friends leave
Mar 8, 2017
Mar 8, 2017 at 3:21 AM UTC
There's a door
In life
Its open to all
Who wish to walk through
It leads to happiness
And a better you
But to get to the other side
There's a decision to make
A choice to decide
Sometimes there's a sacrifice
Sometimes there's pain
But in life
Without losing there's no gain
It's give and take
It's love and loss
Just a random gamble
Gotta give the dice a toss
Because in the end
It's not what you had
Or the money you made
It's what in your heart
Even after your body fades
With every scary part
And every gory detail
Doing what feels right
Decides wether you win
Or fail
Walk through the door
Get to the other side
It's worth it all
Forget your **** pride
Choose happiness
And true morality
Nothing means more than family
Love and loyalty
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 4, 2014 at 2:56 AM UTC
the darkness swallowing the light,
the walls coming close,
the eerie sounds filling the room.
the sweat running down his forehead,
the sun nowhere to be seen.
the loneliness,
creeping in.
and grabbing your neck,
from behind.
the pitch black soul,
losing everything.
his eyes slowly blurring as everythings starts
to fade.
and then…
he drops.
unknowingly controlling every single
movement.
and making everything go wrong.
the body is slowly dying
as the human brain gives up.
and the fear
***** in
your soul.
the body hitting the floor,
with the dead phone clutched tightly in his
hand,
the face
pale
and filled with
darkness.
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 10:27 AM UTC
We want to see ourselves
see ourselves
because we're afraid that nobody else will
ever want to capture us
in a camera flash- so we take our own pictures.
Click. Our front camera becomes
the one minute we had hoped our fathers had for us
when he wasn't busy on that same phone, speaking,
not clicking. Without us.
Or it becomes the one minute we had hoped
that our lovers would hold us
before they settled on to someone
with more likes,
more comments,
more friends,
more happiness...
than we could ever wait for.
We are impatient
like the frequency of data on our profiles:
here are our feelings now... here
are our feelings again, five minutes later,
performing for social algorithms
in place of photographers
besides ourselves who
see ourselves.
But our ignited pixels,
and overstuffed inboxes,
and masturbatory statuses,
and glittering timelines,
and social everything-
are popularity contests
that all of us are losing.
Yet still we want to see ourselves
see ourselves
even though we are afraid
of what we know is true...
...Because what difference
is a poem to a tweet
besides the number of characters
that we wish we had to populate our own stories?
Please let us be different,
just like everyone else.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 3:42 PM UTC
I had a dream about you last night mum
Where I finally got to say,
How much I love and miss you
Each and every day.
They say time is a healer mum
And the memories will always be real,
But neither time nor memories
Can change the pain I feel.
The pain is ever so real mum
It gets harder in every way,
Even though I know you're not in pain
And we'll meet again one day.
I fear I'm losing some memories mum
Some seem to have gone astray,
Apart from the memory of the night we lost you
The night you went away.
That memory haunts my dreams mum
I wish it would go away,
I know my mind is repeating it
As I long for you day by day.
I long for just one moment
To hear you call my name,
And tell me that you love me
And hear me say the same.
Until that day comes mum
Goodnight,
Godbless,
Be free.
Sleep well until we meet again,
With love to you from me.
My Mum, My Best Friend
31/07/1968 - 27/07/2017
Xxxxxxxxxxxx
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018 at 1:49 AM UTC
I asked her to stay away,
I wanted her to leave.
I needed more space,
This is what I used to believe.
Frustrated by her demands and expectations,
I felt little less of freedom.
Started hating to explain how I spent my hours,
what was I doing and what did I had for lunch.
Bored of relationship,
Thought I needed a break,
Just a bit more space,
to do the things I crave.
She misunderstood me terribly,
I adjusted but failed miserably,
Started losing myself trying to keep her closely.
Finally, the separation happened,
It got over I was delighted,
went out on a trip, partied, enjoyed.
She was the one who suffered the most
Things got better as the time passed by.
I pushed her away,
I made her weep,
Not thinking much asked her to leave.
Break up was tough on her,
But she got through,
I made her cry so the Karma has to come for you.
I Met her again at our favourite place,
in hope of getting her back ,
but I could see it in her eyes, that I have been replaced.
Now everything is finished,
everything is blown.
I paused but she moved on.
Now I am the one who's ******* left alone.
Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 11:56 AM UTC
What to do with a mind you can not control
A mind that thinks of things you wished it didn't
behaves a way that isn't you
Split or multiple but their is certainly more than one personality residing in this mind
Scares me with the images, with the dreams
I'm losing control over something that belongs to me
I'm losing me
So far no voices
but the images I see
the way it controls my every move
I can not help it but I'm losing control
It scares me that I can not keep control of something that is so capable
of beauty
love
compassion
friendship
peace
It scares me that I am losing everything that makes me, me
My mind is something I can not control
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 7:59 PM UTC
Anxiety is not stress.
Anxiety is not some umbrella term you can use to describe how you feel when your favorite character in a book is in an intense battle unless you can somehow feel how fast their heart is beating until you can feel how hot their blood is until you can feel what it’s like to be that character in that situation the weight of the world on your shoulders
Anxiety is not finding lighting candles to be the only solution, candles are another problem. Another long paragraph to your list of “Things That Can Easily **** Me” example: “I didn’t leave any matches out, did I? I blew out the candle right? I need to check. Do I smell burning?? PUT THE CAP WHEN IT’S DONE! Will set off my fire alarm? Does my fire alarm work? Where’s my fire alarm??? Where’s somewhere I can put it so it doesn’t hurt me. THIS IS OK THIS IS NORMAL THIS IS RELAXATION.”
Anxiety is not stress.
Anxiety is horrible flashing images, constant reminders, the most negative form of “what if” imaginable.
Anxiety is wasting all your time thinking about an 8 page paper due for class in a week but instead of bringing yourself to writing it you are sobbing on the floor thinking of how bad for your grade this will be.
Anxiety is having a crush on a girl and trying out makeup for the first time.
Anxiety is having a crush on a guy and wondering if your sense of humor is funny enough.
Anxiety is not stress.
Anxiety is downloading an app that checks on your health and leaves you wondering how long this has been going on for.
Anxiety is wondering how to fix your eating disorder instead of actually fixing it
Anxiety is outing yourself to fit in
Anxiety is always wearing pants because you’re too afraid of your own scars
Anxiety is staying up countless nights crying crying crying you cannot yell your thoughts are no longer your own
Anxiety is writing a list of pros and cons to killing yourself
Anxiety is lighting a candle so you can slowly burn the list because
Anxiety is telling you if someone finds out, you will die.
Anxiety is not stress.
Anxiety is having making a friend and losing them in less than a year
Anxiety is wondering if all this help is helping or do I need to help myself
Anxiety is your friends questioning you non-stop are they really questioning you or do you question yourself?
Anxiety is memorizing the suicide prevention hotline
Anxiety is beating yourself up countless times “How could you forget something as simple as a Birthday?!”
Anxiety is “I only have three friends and one hates me, one I’m trying not to lose, and the other I love too much to tell the truth”
Anxiety is “It’s only a matter of time before we all die!”
Anxiety is “Congratulations! Two of your friends have died this year alone! One ******* hates you! Oh! HAHA! Wait! They all ******* hate you!”
Anxiety can turn you from “Wow. I look kinda good today.” to ”DYSPHORIA! DYSPHORIA! DYSPHORIA!”
JUST ******* KIDDING!
ANXIETY IS STRESS!
AND MUCH
MUCH
MORE!!!!!!!!
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 3:50 PM UTC
#*Your hair stills heart's rhythmic meter
For this I wish forever
Strands spun with goddess gossamer;
softer than touch of mother
Your eyes dazzle with no glitter
For this I stare o're yonder
Locking jewels with coins of others;
Leaves throbbing chests emptier
Your form flows as gentle rivers
For this I grudge past swimmers
Glory bequeathed to the winner;
drown will the losing suitors
Your voice humbles angel choirs
For this I listen eager
Songs molding seraphs from satyrs;
in harmony with nature
Your being stirs wildfire
For this I bear the pleasure
Ethereal flames dance together;
fueled by spiritual tethers
You are my love light of summer
For this I waded winter
Glowing 'bove, spring was made greener;
blooming nascent desire*#
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018 at 5:29 PM UTC
Aries - Tell me about every person who broke your heart, tell me about how you fantasize of never being heard of again.
Taurus - Tell me about the demons that tuck you in bed every night and you lay awake and try to fill the void in your heart with lost causes.
Gemini - Do you remember the last time you spilled your feelings out to someone? And had them touch your soul instead of your body? Has anyone ever tried to untangle the mess you heart’s been in?
Cancer - When did you feel the shock of losing someone? When you realized you will never fell their touch or hear their voice, you will only see their smiles in photographs.
Leo - Remember the first time someone told you theyre never going to leave you? How long has the hole you’ve torn in your heart been empty?
Virgo -Tell me about how you’re torn between forgetting them and forgiving them
Libra - Tell me about how you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong people, why it hurts so much when they look at you like that.
Scorpio - Tell me about the first time you felt the weight of hatred on your heart. Who left you so broken that now your eyes would cut deeper than any knife you’ve ever picked up.
Sagittarius - How many times have you said “why won’t my heart stop beating” before falling asleep?
Capricorn - How many times have you tried to convince your mind that the person you love, loves you back?
Aquarius - Who broke the windows to your heart? You thought it would hurt for a minute but it’s been 4 years and nothing’s changed.
Pisces - How many poems have you written that no one will ever read? The ones about your ex lovers who left you broken on the bathroom floor while you carved their names on your walls.
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 10:45 AM UTC
I serve
To my team
I catch
with my face
I pass
To the floor
I score
Into the net
And yet
I frown
By smiling
And win
By losing
A defeat
Can be a good victory
Its all about sportsmanship
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 11:23 AM UTC
you told me you were leaving
because i smoke cigarettes
i stopped smoking in fear
of losing you forever
i went by your place to tell you
that i broke my bad habit
i saw you pressing your lips
against someone new
my walk home was lonely
and the only thing pressed to my lips
was a cigarette
i guess it's time to quit my bad habit:
you.
Feb 17, 2015
Feb 17, 2015 at 9:31 PM UTC
I am quick to cry and to anger
and people think I'm strange.
They don't see how hard I try to control it,
I know I'm seen as deranged.
Emotions can be overbearing
and it's difficult to stay quiet
when someone upsets me
It's simply not easy to hide it.
I guessed for a long time that the issue was with me.
But I thought I could watch maybe learn their technique.
For keeping a cool head when things get heated.
Instead of losing it over nothing and feeling totally defeated.
I was wrong it turned out.
I don't have breaks I have border as in
borderline personality disorder.
I got a diagnosis
and was incredibly afraid
that people would treat me like someone
who'd contracted the plague.
While I wasn't right,
I wasn't totally wrong,
mental illness is unfortunately
still mostly ignored.
If I was unwell with a headache,
people would ask
'Are you okay?'
'Here I've got Panadol Actifast.'
But when the ills
In the mind and I say
'I'm feeling down'
9 times out of 10 people get freaked out.
So it's tough when you're shamed
For having a disorder
A lot of normal people suffer
So could your son or daughter.
So next time you hear someone say
'I'm feeling down.'
Do me one favour
and please,
just don't freak out.
It's hard enough already dealing
with this day to day
without having friends
turn their backs and walk away.
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 12:02 AM UTC
Once, a boy came, new to the coast
tall figure, his skin supple dusted with white,
he was silent at times, quite
sometimes laughing like a child,
vulnerable yet strong, she sees.
The mermaid was in awe, but she didn’t realize,
a crashing wave, that’s what he is.
Day by day, she drowned herself
In thoughts under her ocean dream;
baffled by his presence, in doubt she continued.
On the third tide of their apogee,
without warning the boy vanished,
like a wind, leaving no trace, not a foam.
Devastated, in losing her one precious pearl,
the mermaid cried in remorse.
Every night she sang to the skies,
until she felt an ethereal glow,
deep down she knew
what was needed to be said.
A celestial granted, for once again they met.
In valor with trembling hands, a note she had professed.
Prospective and believing still
the prince she had wished for,
turned out to be nothing but a loving sin.
The mermaid smiled as she disappeared into the sea
with every song now comes a broken, and shattered dream.
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 27, 2016 at 10:33 AM UTC
The sadness of losing
It's what's left
It was so true
to love you
It happened
but
I would love you ...
I would love ...
Come here.
Let me show you
I want to see
Maybe the hours ...
Or the mountains ...
perhaps
words,
I do not know
Maybe _ love ...
I stopped saying.
Stopped.
I resigned to love ...
the gods...
The flowers,
Kielos,
bit me
when i pulled them
To love you
Was like pulling a flower
I made you swan
The gods made me volcano
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 8:38 PM UTC