Ug and Og the cavemen thought they might have a dance
They didn't know quite what to do, but thought they'd take a chance
They advertised throughout the caves for friends to have a go
and many said “what is a dance,” and Ug said “I don't know”

They called in Lug the village chief, to tell them if he could
And he explained, he saw this once just by the local wood
Many people gathered round, and bounced and jigged all day
With beer and popcorn passed around it really was quite gay

So everybody gathered when the big day came around
Ug and Og had made some beer, and popcorn by the mound
Everyone had dressed their best to show off to the crowd
Even Loo from number nine was looking rather proud

Everything was going well, and jigging up and down
When Luggy Doug got hit by Wert for acting like a clown
He turned around to get away and fell right over Loo
Who happened to be in mid jig, and so bounced of big Su

Su went rolling across the floor, and bowled over Lanky Lang
Who reaching out to save himself, punched LooLoo with a bang
Now Bam loved LooLoo very much, so he thought he should
Come running across the crowded floor, to help her if he could

He slipped on beer that Su had dropped when hit by Luggy Doug
And landed on the pile of popcorn. Freshly made by Ug
The popcorn went up in the air, and scattered all around
Then Og slipped up and all the beer landed on the ground

Widow Grimp came from her cave “Whats the noise” she cried
Then spying all the mess about, went quickly back inside
Now soggy popcorn lay around, and no one wanted more
and so the party ended up with a mess upon the floor

Ug and Og were left alone to clear up all the floor
and they were laughing all time. Bout what had gone before
Window Gimp ran from here house with brush and empty bin
and stuffed it full of dried popcorn and took it all back in

Only Ug and Og were left, they thought the party fair
No one got to do much dancing,  that didn't seem to care
Widow Gimp had stocked her larder for the coming days
and the pigs, they had the rest, served up in metal trays