I believe in smiling at strangers. I believe in saying hello. I believe in shyness. I believe in fear of rejection. I believe in the need of affection. I believe in the need of reminders. I believe in candles, especially those that smell of vanilla or christmas. I believe in wearing small crystals around my neck. I believe in energetic vibrations. I believe in colours - I think each person has their own colour. I believe every feeling is valid. I believe in chapstick and I believe in mascara that doesn’t clump. I believe in nail polish - every colour of nail polish. I believe that the only reason we lie is because we fear something. I believe in poetry. I believe in bluntness. I believe in the intention behind words, but I don’t necessarily believe in words. I believe in travel. I believe in travelling solo. In fact, I believe in travelling so much that it is pretty much all I want to do. I believe in music. Boy, do I believe in music. I believe any kind of musical composition can change a person. I believe music can cure depression. I also believe music can feed depression. I believe a melody can say more than lyrics and I believe that lyrics can be what someone couldn’t put together themselves to explain exactly how they are feeling. I believe anyone can create a song, even though they believe they cannot. I believe a single note can sound like the most beautiful sound in the world. I believe if someone records a song when they’re in an ugly mood, the ugliness emits to its listeners and can drain them. I believe in art. Of course I do. I believe in acrylic paint. I believe in oil paint and watercolours, but not as much as I believe in acrylic. I believe in fingerprinting. I even believe in painting with your toes. And I believe in dancing; even if it looks weird. I believe in flailing your arms even, as long as it feels good and right. I believe in dancing ‘til you sweat, though I don’t like that icky feeling too much. I believe that a babe can be a very ugly person and a physically unattractive person can be a very beautiful person. I believe that people who smile are beautiful. I believe that people who frown are beautiful too, just in a different way. I believe that there are sincere smiles and there are manipulative smiles. I believe that some people just know how to use their eyes well. I believe in eye contact. I believe in engaging. I believe in listening and dropping everything else that is going on in your mind just to listen to what a person is trying to share with you. I believe in sharing - sharing cookies and sharing love. I believe in the frosty cold. I believe that it doesn’t have to feel as cold as it really is. I believe that people complain a lot. I believe that people often have too much pride to be happy. I believe that we should embrace our discomforts and shames, that we should welcome them wholeheartedly so that we can be happy. I believe in honesty. I believe in empathy. I believe in tea. I believe in jelly donuts but only on certain occasions. I believe in quirky bow ties. I believe in knit toques and mittens and scarves. I believe in dresses. I believe in flirting. I believe in coffee in the morning. I believe in big comfy beds. I believe in walking around your empty house in your underwear or birthday suit, singing loudly. I believe in singing in the shower. I believe in singing on the street. I believe in stage fright. I believe in meditation, though I don’t really strictly set times to do it anymore. I believe mundane activities can be done in a meditative state of mind. I believe in clarity. I believe in not judging people because everyone is human. I believe every human has something very interesting about them. I believe in boring people too. I believe in christmas music - not the radio kind, the choral kind. I believe in cheap sweet wine. I believe in Billy Joel and I believe in The Beatles. I believe in Regina and Sufjan too. I believe that the ukulele is a very overrated instrument. I believe in having healthy hair. I believe in moisturizer. I believe in getting to pick a coloured toothbrush at the dentist. I believe in thick wool socks. I believe in baggy sweaters. I believe in yoga gear but I do not believe in sweatpants. I believe that yoga is one of the healthiest things for a person - ever. I believe in buying a friend drinks or dinner once in awhile. I believe in collecting shoes and scarves and rings. I believe in chords but I don’t really believe in jeans. I believe in hot chocolate with whip cream but not with marshmallows. I believe in dorky Christmas sweaters. I believe in baking cookies instead of cake. I believe in eating disorders - I do not support them, but I do believe they are much more severe and various than most people think and I believe there should be better/proper help for those who suffer instead of the usual cruel inpatient/outpatient care. I believe in trichotillomania and I believe in dermatillomania and the severity and impact it can have on its sufferers. I believe in gardens. I believe in every single flower. I believe that everyone is always doing their best. I believe that most people love to struggle. I believe in hope. I believe in having faith in yourself. I believe in iPod playlists. I believe in gym memberships in the winter, not the summer unless it’s to swim. I believe in matching underwear every day. I believe in Value Village. I believe in singing in bus shelters when you’re waiting for the bus. I believe in dressing up according to holidays. I believe in Grey’s Anatomy and I believe in Community. I believe in skirts and dresses that twirl like the ‘ol days. I believe in longboards more than skateboards. I believe in plaid like most young people do. I believe in bows in my hair, but not as much as I used to. I believe in foot massages and hand massages. I believe in reflexology and reiki and essential oils and chakras and crystals and holistic nutrition. I believe in anxiety; even crippling anxiety. I believe in awkward romances. I do not believe in flip flops. I do not believe in Beatles covers unless they are really insanely good; then my mind is blown. I believe in having long enough nails to scratch someone’s back appropriately. I also believe in biting nails. I do not believe in telephone calls unless I am extremely comfortable with the person. I believe in blogs. I believe in journals. I believe in naming special inanimate objects like journals, instruments, technology and furniture. I believe in the idea of cats more than I believe in cats. I believe in sharpies or thin pointed permanent markers. I believe in temporary tattoos. I believe in streaming movies online. I believe in royal gala apples. I believe in avocados. I believe in rice cakes. I believe in popcorn. I believe in airports but I hate the LA airport. I believe in openly talking about *** but I don’t believe in making it seem shameful and gross. I believe there should be no shame regarding sexuality. I believe in reading some great books more than once. I believe in laying on the couch under cozy blankets, watching a great suspenseful tv show or movie. I only believe in having a couple bites of cheesecake. I don’t really believe in lulu lemon. I don’t believe many people can pull off the colour yellow. I believe in buttons over zippers even though zippers are easier, they just look kind of dumb and cheap. I believe in the sun and the moon equally. I believe in closets over dressers. I believe in staring out the window for a good hour or so.

yellow cars
bumble bees
and flag poles

longboards
a chain-linked fence
and tadpoles

you are
the nacelle on an airplane
that is, a separate engine that has been attached for support
to keep me going

yellow cars
bumble bees
and flag poles

longboards
a chain-linked fence
and tadpoles

navigating me out of the forest fire
saving me from my death
should I thank you or resent you
should I attempt or resign

yellow cars
bumble bees
and flagpoles

longboards
a chain-linked fence
and tadpoles

time with you is time well spent
although leaving you stings worse than a bee
you support me no matter what

we cruise along wherever things take us
locked together with the same mindset
yet we’re growing in different directions

Allergens
Memories
Strong spices
Leave your scars

I'll send them below

Precious new memories will replace
Your unwelcome pain
Napkins and longboards
electronic haze
I don't watch Disney

I wish I
didn't know my parents
But I take this for granted again

Outbreaks
Gluten
Shedding
Flannels before they were Cool
painting my room
two shades of black
Shakira

I'll share my life
If you will pretend I'm awake enough
To absorb yours

Can we become closer?

Well hello again.
We missed you so well
So we all thought we would chime in
With our poppycock filled grins
Spiders and cheap whiskey demeanor
We got nothin' but each other
And that filmmaker, she's such a woman
She dreamed of us months before she met us.

We welcomed her in
With our spiders and our mildewed floors
Bathroom covered in abandoned tooth paste
And the girls we have ****** over before
We replace them so easily, so heartily
Its such a treat for us
Because you see, little mice in our eyes
We are our own make believe fraternity.

We aren't astronauts or engineers
We can't even sew, but we cook meals
Full of beans and sometimes fancy eggs
Or soggy pasta that we feed the hungry mouths
Of the girls we lure in
And make believe we want to marry
But really, oh really
We just worship in our little den
The notches on our belt
The longboards we ride
The hundreds of times
We made young girls cry.

We aren't evil
Not even sinister
Our brains just lack luster
But we try to make up for it
By huddling together.

Saint Louis, Saint Louis
We claim to be gentleman
Not all of us are all bad
But bad blood, man.

We have ink on our *****
Scores and the ****** we kick out
Before our D&D; days
And we aren't all bad
No, we aren't all bad
But we lack luster
And sure aren't brave.

I don't know what it will take
We induct new women into our cult
As we see fit
But once they turn over the table
We throw them out
Like the whiskey bottles hanging out of our mouthes
Just like mamas milk.

We are threatened by change
And Women Of The Now
So we poke fun, throw frisbees
And make it appear glamorous
But we aren't all bad
No we aren't all bad.

We are just really young
We don't know what we want
We prefer our mildew, our sweat, our residue
We recycle our women, herd our own cattle
Run from obligation, commitment
We would rather recycle, recycle
Pass around the same ball
Dress the same, ride the same longboards
Speak and ink our bodies
So that we never have to be so alone.

We are like sheep
With no shepherd
And the moment a strong force of nature
Encountered us
We guillotined her
She could have been one of us
Continued to play our game
But we very quickly saw
She was the lead honey bee
In every way.

So we sought her ****** out
Or perhaps she claimed her own
As she exited the premises of what we deem
The notorious "Brotel"
No longer smelling of mildew.
Or basement nights.
Card games introducing drunken betrayal
Or bowling alleys where we forgot our hearts
And recycled, recycled
We all might be the same
We might all be different
But we hide and we hurdle
The same ball on repeat.

She got out.
She flew the coop
She disappeared from us
Just like she warned us she would
Mystical. Magical. The Gypsy we called her
And once we got comfortable
Lemon.
And that she will always be
But we hurdle, we spike
We ignite only our own genitalia

She was too brave and ambitious for us
So we killed her with spite.

Her smile is contagious
Her personality is who I'd be with
Her smile makes me feel like in another world
Her beautiful blue eyes are like the oceans
Her gold blonde hair is like the su

We both love each other
We feel better when were together
We both like to skate (well she longboards)
We both like rasta colors
We both love each others little details.


She makes me smile
She makes my day
She is brilliant
She's intelligent
She loves me like I love her
She's my oxygen and my essentials

I love her
I want to be with her for the rest of my life
I would fight for her and never care if I win or lose
I love her and nothing will change my mind

Meet me in the summer when my hair has grown out a bit.
Meet me on a Wednesday at 4:00.
Meet me with open mouth and balled fists.

I'll come to you on day with a breeze that reddens your cheeks.
I'll come to you with flowers tucked behind my ears and your favorite song stuck in my head.
I'll come to you whole.

Let's go to the beach way past our bedtime.
Let's ride our longboards downtown and dart in and out of traffic.
Let's meet in the middle and then stay put.