"loftman" poems
So it seems like the night terrors never really go away
They just get replaced,
Same trembling fear, just a new face.
As a kid I used to spend hours awake, being scared.
I was scared of the dark,
Used to turn the lights off and run fast
To get under the sheets, so the dark couldn’t engulf me.
I was scared of the dogs,
That their bite was worse than their bark,
Crossed streets so they wouldn’t cross my path.
I was scared of being me,
Behind alcohol I hid
Downing shots and beers, so i could blame it on this.
I was scared I wouldn’t fit in,
Would dominate every conversation
So there wasn’t a part I couldn’t be in.
I was scared to admit that fear was a deep part of me,
I thought if anyone knew they would think i’m weak.
And I’m still scared, but now fear has a different face
I stare deep into it’s eyes and I don’t tremble in the same way.
I am scared that death will take me sooner than I think
And rob me of the future I have built in my dreams.
I am scared I’ll lose my family, the anchor in my life
And without them, well I would shortly join them in the sky.
I am scared of myself and the voices in my head
If I do what they tell me, will I have anyone left?
I am scared of failure, are my dreams too big?
What if I don’t get there and I gave everything I could give?
I’m still scared, but now I see it differently
Cause I’m slowly uncovering the courage underneath.
©Gregory Loftman
Aug 25, 2015
Aug 25, 2015 at 9:00 PM UTC