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eli Apr 2018
why is it so hard to let go
when you were never truly mine
Bexis Jul 2018
That feeling you get when you know it's time to let go.
I feel a wave is about to wash over me.
All I was doing was holding on for dear life.
Bringing up past guilt, grief, wrongdoings.
Where does it end?
If not there.
Keep bringing up the same ****.
The only thing I will do is wade through ****.
Letting go will bring a new life.
All that baggage gone.
The universe is chaotic.
There things I can't control and things I can.
I am choosing to let that baggage go.
And watch it flow away.
city of flips Jul 2018
wants to be my friend, for I am poet-woman nineteen.

she is sweet but sad. super sad.

a good poet who wants to guide me.

but there/theirs is the odor, not faint, of wants wanting,
the pus of corruption behind the curtains,
the Wizard-ess of Oz's
special blackout curtains.

seen how easy, how her illusions,
my medium rare rejections,
morph into her delusions,

and her delusions devolve into
her conspiracy theories.

"SHE will be my mentor, poetess lover, teacher for no charge!"

my parents thinks it's great, she wants (to be) skin in my game.

my parents will find this poem accidentally, exactly,

how I do not want
to be skinned alive.

for I am poet-woman nineteen and still! now, long past
the point of being fooled, the point of no return.

and see no point,
have no intention,
of returning to either valley

no more con the my mind into letting my body
be-fused.^
  

that ain't me babe.
elle jaxsun Jul 2018
we grab too tightly
at that which is not ours.

and wish so hard for hearts
with heads lost in the stars.

reach out for some attention
from minds racing fast as cars.

seek love and affection
from hearts trapped behind bars.

forgetting to look in the mirror
and first mend our own scars.
06102018
Boi Aug 2018
Slowly. Slow pace
Over a few days
It was drained and went missing
I don't know what it is

Slowly. Slow glance
Over a few cracks
It has left before it went missing
No string left, only wax

Slowly. Slow breath
Over an endless depth
It had dug as it went missing
Given up on my strength

I fall
Peace is down there somewhere, just wait I'm still looking. Or whatever is down there.
burning hues of red,
of bright indigo and yellow,
crashed into the grey horizon
(you are told
your eyes should rest soon),
do not stay as witness
when the depths come
in furious waves of regrets
to drown the ache that
refuses pleas to be heard
by his eyes
denies truth to seen,as
it falls on deaf ears


again i hold my breath,
i'll sink further into the pit
of madness crafted by
my own mind
through your words,
you will ignore their
silence that comes
piercing through,
a thousand decibels
reminding you:
who the **** was I meant
nothing to you,
better will you be loved,
so much more you could be
if you choose to bury
me in the moondust and leave
as for I,
when you've outlived
every bullet,every blade
greeting you in their
violent glory,
when your lungs
are accustomed to the abuse,
you'll learn how to hold your
breath, and
how beautifully painful
it is to beg,cry,and hurt underwater
where tears aren't real,
and pain serves as oxygen


one day,
my body will untangle
itself from its endless slumber
as how you pried off your fingers,
your hands,from their hold
on this cold body,
you know,
i used to be your anchor
now i'm just dead weight
holding you down with me
as i drown
you know,
this corpse understands
how hard it is to love
someone who's
always treading lightly,
who can't shine as bright
as other dying things,
who isn't as phenomenal,
as world-stopping, as mesmerizing
as how your heart pleases
this dying creature knows
that love will never be given
to something that
keeps on bleeding hurt


you should bid farewell soon,
do not stay as witness
leave while it's dark enough,
while the facade could still
lie for us,
leave,let the water wash ashore
let it devour the remains,
let it carry this shipwreck
to its abyss
where,
the body will decompose,
it will die and forget
what the heart wants to remember,
what the mind denies touching
i know,
you will remember
to associate me
with your darkness and demons
who wear another pretty face
and i will remember to forget
the way you wanted to forget me
i will hold my breath until the Sun
could assure me of your departure
-W.
kk Sep 2018
Dear _,
You were the first person
Who made my heart so uneasy
That going hours without your voice,
Made me feel like I was being driven
To the edge of insanity.
When I spilled all I felt
On the ground around your feet,
You were the only person
Who picked up all my tangled thoughts
And kept it close to his heart
With a smile upon his lips.
From that moment on,
I engraved every word you spoke
Onto a little plaque inside my head;
I let the slightest warmth from every touch,
Seep past my skin and into the deepest parts of my bones;
And I read every gesture,
As something done out of love or admiration—
But I always knew that you were unsure.
That the clarity and euphoria
You brought into my each and everyday,
Wasn’t present in yours.
Even so, I held on desperately,
To every word, touch, and gesture.
I picked out each one
And like a tape stuck on replay, they repeated endlessly in my head,
And like an addiction, I couldn’t leave it behind.
Your name left my mouth,
Sometimes so habitually that I would be surprised
To find myself mentioning you
In the middle of a thought about the sky.
—And I still knew you were unsure.
So within this poem you will never read,
I wanted to say how deeply
Sorry I am.
How selfish I have been,
To take your smallest actions
And magnify them so that they would satisfy
My worries and insecurities.
I realized once the mania of my heart settled,
That I’ve been too caught up
Building a castle out of blocks
That might have never been real.
And you’re not to blame,
This time, I chose to hold on to this false hope.
So for the sake of my sanity,
And for the sake of your honest name,
I will step away with the mess I’ve made.
But to be totally honest,
It seems like a lie to tell myself today that
maybe, one day,
I can learn to let you go.
I like you.
Thank you,
__

to ____
grace snoddy Dec 2017
regret.
i regret letting you in.

love will always start with illusion.
and i fell in love with
the mirage you displayed.
i told myself that
the person i fell in love with
was still there.
that is why i stuck around

for so long.

for so long i believed that you still loved me
as much as the sun loved the sky.
even when you said you didn’t,
even when your voice didn’t feel like

home.

home was late night conversations.
home was your laugh ringing in my ears.
but what was once the house we loved in,
it is now dominated by ghosts.

it has been 8 months.
i still

regret.
i regret letting you in.
moon 13h
i forgive you.
i'm sending this letter to you through the energy wave lengths that will stay between us forever.
it took a lot of years for me to that i'll forgive you but i'm ready to close the chapter of my life where your name is still printed in.
the mountains i climbed for you to love me where never enough,
the nights i begged for you to not treat me like the gum under your shoe were not worth it.
one day i hope you make peace with your demons like i'm learning to now.
you will always have a piece of my heart,
and no matter how much sadness and anger rises in me thinking of the treatment you gave for years,
i will treat you with kindness and love.
you have no place in my life anymore and that's okay.
i hope one day you can find that happiness you were searching for.
Hunter Jun 2018
It feels like it I can finally let go
And forget him
Once and for all

I may never truly forgive myself
for the person I was then
But I can let go
Of my shame

The memories will still come up
Every now and then
But that's ok

I won't let myself be bothered by them anymore

Thank you,
For freeing me from myself
Lyn Senz 2 Jul 2016
She looks away
once a well
now a shell
a can, a hand
unopened

and the lawyer tells her
she's okay
but she barely hears him
anyway
there's nothing left
to say

her bluster
where did it go?
and leave her there
so all alone
letting them crush her

'we knowed some thugs
they sold some drugs'

now she's never going home


©2011 Lyn
fyi I plagiarized my own poem
'so old' to help me make this one.
cxbra Oct 2018
the amount of water you are in
does not matter when you are drowning
even when you are conscious of it
it only takes six inches of water to make vehicles play musical chairs
but whats sad about it is
when the music stops
and your heart is no longer there
there will be no place left to go
you will feel like you are drowning
you must open your eyes and let go of the fear
you must sing your own songs so the music lasts forever
you must learn to swim against the current
yes, love is the healing component
but too much of anything can **** you
i just pray that you've let go before the next tide comes
Alyssa Underwood Mar 2016
humbled like children
we embrace the Sustainer
letting go of self
~~~
Rizna M Rameez Oct 2018
I don't tell people about
What agitation means

It means
I can't sit in class
Because the pain in my head
Is just drilling into my existence
Boring into my consciousness

It means I drag random things
Along with me
Trying to have some weight
To numb all the pain
To get my focus away
On anything
Anything but the pain

It means I walk into random classrooms
Searching for a reason to be away
From I don't know where
Trying to walk away
From this agitation

It means running
Just running aimlessly
As if trying to run away from this body that
Constrains the pain
That intensifies it
Focusing it

It means
Refusing myself the pleasure of reading anything
Including posters on the walls

It means I want to run away
From this physical restrain
Of myself
Just free all this agitation

It means
I'm tired of trying
To keep myself together
Tired of holding all these
Flying papers
In this maelstrom

It means
I'm tired of staring up at confusion
In the face
When no one can answer

It means
I need to be calmed down
Just let myself
Be comforted

It means
I'm desperately trying to hold up
Me
While I'm crumbling  

Agitation-
A state of anxiety or nervous excitement

Barely tells you what I mean
20.10.2018
I don't know why but from the beginning of this year I've been like this often. Especially January. And May. And September (Wow that's a uniform difference).

If only I’d learnt to turn to prayer earlier. But still we need people. The whole point of my other poem Eve; She was There
mads Jan 27
I don't know how to do it
how to let people go
people who I don't need
I'm too worried about them
I know I should be worried
for me
Your words were sad,
And your expression of stone.
I waited and waited,
For your text on my phone...

A beacon you were,
To my darkness you shone.
Etched in my brain,
In every bone...

You were the winter
To my autumn glow,
That covered my branches,
With soft snow...

Passing down these city streets,
I see you in every window i look through..
And it breaks me piece by piece,
How would i look at myself, when even there i see you...

Only a month it was
Since i got to know you.
And i cherish every moment,
Every conversation every view...

Tortured by your absence,
I wanted someone to take this life...
God why you did this..?
She meant more then my life...

On the elevator
I told myself she is long gone...
Convincing myself
There is no reason to live on...

As i took those heavy steps,
Towards the edge an inch away...
I took a last final breath,
Only to realize it was already taken away...

So without a remorse
I letted it go...
But somehow i founded myself
On my bedroom floor...

It was only a nightmare
i thought to myself
I was not letting you go
i told myself...
So say you wont let go.....
Alyssa Underwood Aug 2017
Lord Jesus, Plower of my heart,
though the darkness descends around me
and heavy moods fall over me,
though the warm feelings of intimacy begin to fade
and encroaching melancholy threatens to set in
like a cold reversal of the winds,
still I will rejoice in Your presence with me,
for You are causing me to press beyond—
beyond the delightful sense of You
and into the delightful assurance of You.

If I know nothing else, I know that You are here,
You are faithful and You love me.
So I will keep clinging to that
when everything else seems to slip
like dust through my fingers
and all hope of good things
in this life grows dim.

I will cling to the promise
that You are clinging to me,
that You’ve got me no matter what,
that You are never leaving or letting go.
For You are the unchanging I AM
in my ever-changing circumstances,
through my ever-shifting emotions,
over my ever-shaking life
and around my ever-feeble heart.

Here is my hand, Lord Jesus.
I put it safely in Yours and trust You
to lead me through this dark night.
Work Your holy, harrowing fingers  
deep into the soil of my heart
until every idol is uprooted,
every stone removed
and every broken place restored.
Thank You, Jesus.
I love You.
~~~

"But He knows the way that I take;
when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold."
~ Job 23:10

"You hem me in behind and before,
    and You lay Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from Your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, You are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me,
    Your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,'
even the darkness will not be dark to You;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to You."
~ Psalm 139:5-12

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
    and He will make your paths straight."
~ Proverbs 3:5-6

"...because God has said,
'Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.'"
~ Hebrews 13:5b

~~~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2CpU39tM0c
ˏˋDalPalˊˎ Oct 2014
Here's a thanks to my grade school teachers

thanking my first grade teacher
for getting me into writing

thanking my second grade teacher
for letting me write a longer book than anyone else
and teaching me it was alright to be different

thanking my third grade teacher
for being stern with me
and letting me know that not everyone is going speak to you with sugar coated words

thanking my fourth grade teacher
for showing me to share a little bit of yourself with everyone

thanking my fifth grade teachers
for helping me with the first year of middle school when no one else would

thanking my sixth grade teachers
for probably the greatest year of my life and teaching me life lessons I wouldn't have gotten until now

thanking my seventh grade teachers
for teaching me that being funny and creative is nothing to be afraid about and giving feels just as good as receiving

thanking my eighth grade teachers
for making me feel alright about the scary transition coming up and bonding with my classmates even more

thank you for helping me grow up
Just going down memory lane
Eve Dec 2018
It felt so good
To slowly watch
As you slipped from my mind
Faded out of my life
As I gradually let go
Of you,
Someone I once begged to stay
now glad to watch go
And even though it hurt
It felt so good to finally forget
Now free to be happy
And live my own life
And no matter how much you meant
No matter how much I loved you
I'm finally at peace
And this is not to say
That I have forgotten
Because I will always remember
The beauty
The pain
The love that we shared
Yes I still love you
But I’ve learned to let go
Jayantee Khare Aug 2018

O
dear hater!
do u matter?
of course not!
but thanks a lot
for letting me know that
people have right to reject
i am still not perfect,
and for equipping
my mind with neutrality!
my heart with equanimity!
my soul with magnanimity!
my life with acceptability!
for the black and the white
the wrong and the right
oh i think you matter
love you my hater!
yes you matter!


Sunday musings
Emmah Sep 2018
Have you ever felt
Something so very intense
You wanted to burst?
kk Oct 2018
Day one.
I spilled all I felt
On the ground around your feet
And with great relief,
You picked up all the pieces
And held them close to your chest
In a humble wooden box.

Day two.
We both laughed at my petty jealousy.
At the time, I thought it was because
There’s no need for doubt
Since we found each other.

Day five.
We sat close,
Smiles on our faces,
As we continued with our everyday life,
Knowing something was a little different.
A little happier.
A little more beautiful.

Day seven.
Not many words were said,
But they weren’t needed either.
We simply needed to glance
At each other once
For a the corners of our lips
To curve upward just a little.

Day nine.
We looked at each other
With the innocence of children
And after
Our share of laughter,
You opened your arms
And we held each other close
For the first time.

Day ten.
The nervousness in me
Subsides like a wave
With just a bit of your
Reassurance.

As we sit side-by-side,
When the sun begins to set,
My mind wanders from
The spectacle before us.
None of it really matters to me,
My head is too full
With the thought of you.

And when you call my name,
Everything seems so perfect,
And even more so when
We hold each other close
For the second time.

Day twelve.
As quickly as it went up,
The tint of rose comes
Crashing down.
As I blink away the tears,
I’m surprised to find the world
Just as it was before
I began loving you.
Untouched, unbothered,
Just empty.
Amongst the broken glass,
Sits the memories of days
One through ten.  
And despite the pain,
I bring
Each memory close to my chest,
And hold on desperately,
Like they will fade if
I let go even just a little.

The end.
living in our day ten
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