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Elena Ramos Apr 2015
Elena Ramos


Aquí todo en mi mente da vueltas, nada es estable, no hay un objeto al cual pueda ver directo y guiarme para no caer. Para mí no sirve el simple hecho de tenerlo todo para ser feliz, ni el dinero, ni una familia reconocida en todo Miami y el resto del país. Me llamo Gimena Rodríguez, mis papas son de Honduras pero emigraron a los Estados Unidos cuando mi hermano mayor Roberto tenía apenas diez años en ese entonces yo tenía ocho horribles y apestosos años, era muy fea, mi mama siempre me ponía dos ganchitos en la frente para quitarme el pelo de la cara; bote todas las fotos que dejaban evidencia de ese abuso hacia el estilo y la dignidad de una niña pequeña.  

He buscado en la internet el significado de mi nombre, porque ni yo sé que soy. Hay unos sitios bien raros que dicen que soy de las que necesita ser apoyada por los demás, algo que no es cierto, pero he topado con un sitio que dice que soy de pensamiento firme, ágil y con capacidad analítica. Y por cierto mi número de la suerte dice ser el número cuatro, puede tener algo de sentido ya que el 4 de noviembre es mi cumpleaños, o que casualmente mis papas estén de aniversario el mismo día. Suelo ser de esas chicas que todo el mundo conoce o dice saber conocerme, por el simple hecho de tener una familia la cual, toda América conoce. Mi papa heredo el negocio de mi abuelo, (por lo general el abuelo o como yo lo llamaba Yeyo, era el único que me entendía hasta llegue a prometerle que seguiría los pasos de la familia y seguir el negocio) una empresa que distribuye muebles, ya sean sofás como camas y cosas así. La compañía se llama DecoArte, había empezado en 1934 con mi bisabuelo Arturo, que luego paso a ser mi mi Yeyo y ahora de mi padre (solo espero que Roberto pelee por su lugar en la compañía y decida quedarse todo para él, así no tendría que seguir en este negocio, porque realmente no me gusta). He decidido que quiero ir a Los Angeles y estudiar Fashion Management & Marketing, en la Universidad de Argosy. He aplicado a varias universidades y aun espero respuesta, seria decepcionante no ser aceptada en ninguna y entonces tendría que trabajar en DecoArte toda mi vida. Todos los días son decepcionantes, siempre es lo mismo, mi casa parece un lugar solitario. Roberto tiene su propio apartamento, todos los días sube fotos a su cuenta de Instagram haciendo fiestas, las cuales son mencionadas como las mejores. Fraternidades de muchas universidades terminan ahí, los vagabundos igual, y así todo Miami. Sería bueno si por lo menos me invitara a una de sus “reuniones”, como el las suele llamar cuando estamos frente a nuestros padres. No me veo pequeña, tengo diez y siete años y el próximo año me graduare de Miami Beach High School. Muchos me preguntan si realmente tengo la edad que les digo tener, nadie me cree, muchos dicen que me veo mucho mayor, algo que para mí no está mal. En mi cuenta de twitter me he fijado que Roberto dará una fiesta, tal vez pueda decir que voy a ver una película y me voy un rato a su casa, solo espero que mi propio hermano no me eche de la casa. En mi tiempo libre, después de clases, suelo agarra mi computadora portátil y abrir Word, y escribir todo el día. Hace poco subí gratis un libro de poemas de dicados a la gente que no sabe qué hacer con su vida. He tenido buenas respuestas, inclusive en mi blog recibo visitas y buenos comentarios a montones. Existen dos mundos parami, la realidad y el mundo que creo con los libros y la escritura. Cada libro que leo me envuelve en un sentimiento que hace que imagine estar en el libro. Al escribir siento que mis ideas fluyen y que soy yo honestamente, sin censura, sin miedo a expresarme. En este momento estoy escribiendo una historia ficticia de esta joven que desea encontrar el amor, ya que casi lo encontraba pero el murió. Por su falta de confianza no es capaz de hablar con ningún muchacho. Esta es la introducción del libro:
               Para amar hay un tiempo límite, o por lo menos para mí sí. Si tienes una enfermedad terminal, es muy probable que ese amor nunca llegue. Desearía tener por lo menos un romance que dure poco o hasta cuando yo siga viva. Mi vida se complica cada vez más, el único hombre que veo seguido es mi médico el doctor Collins, está casado y tiene una hermosa hija. En el hospital veo morir a diario personas de las cuales me hice amiga. Aun no olvido su rostro, su pálida cara, que me reía aun a pesar de tener peores condiciones de vida que yo. Se llamaba Mark, tenía doce años cuando lo conocí, y diez y siete cuando lo vi por última vez. Cada año lo volvía diferente, siempre había un problema más o algo en su cuerpo había cambiado por  completo. Lo conocí cuando yo tenía once años, llegue a emergencias esa noche, mi mente giraba, era más verde como la pared que trigueña. Gracias a dios detectaron mi cáncer con tiempo. Pero esa noche ahí estaba el, sentado en una camilla, me pareció muy guapo desde el primer instante en que nuestros ojos se cruzaron. Mientras mi mama hablaba con la enfermera afuera, yo estuve acostada, mirándolo y luego mirando el techo. No sabía que sucedía conmigo, solo sabía que  me sentía a morir. No llore porque él estaba ahí, a dos camillas de la mía. Sabía que me observaba aunque lo disimulaba muy bien. Entraron mi mama y varias enfermeras y un doctor,  después de un rato sacaron mi camilla y me llevaban a otro lugar. Deje a ese muchacho solo en ese espantoso cuarto, solo, y seguramente con dolor en alguna parte. Desperté el día siguiente en un cuarto, había dos camas más  pero al parecer solo yo ocupaba y llenaba aquella gran habitación. Me di cuenta que mi mama y mi papa estaban dormidos, me sorprendió ver a papa faltar al trabajo. No estoy muy segura, pero anoche tuve uno de los mejores sueños más reales que he tenido en mi vida. Soñé con el muchacho de la sala de emergencia. Vi su hermoso pelo, dorado que caía sobre sus orejas, sus perfectos ojos, que no se distinguían si eran grises o verdes. Tenía una camiseta roja, parecía el tipo de adolescente que se intoxica con algo y termina aquí. Definitivamente desearía poder volverlo a ver por lo menos un instante, para poder recordar mejor esa mirada y su hermosa sonrisa.  No hice ruido y me levante buscando un baño, estaba bien, solo algo cansada, y molesta por esa horrenda bata que llevaba puesta, ya que no tenía nada abajo. Hice ruido al levantarme ya que presione uno de los botones que levanta la camilla. Mi padre Augusto, se levantó en un abrir y cerrar de ojos del sofá donde dormía para ir en mi auxilio. –Papa estoy bien-,-No te creo, a dónde vas?-,-solo busco un baño, necesito ir ahorita-. La cara de papa estaba muy diferente, hoy no tenía esa mirada de las mañanas que me decían que todo estaba bien, que la economía estaba por las nubes, o que sasha mi perrita no le causaba alergia cuando todos sabíamos que sí. Me detuve a observarlo, sabía que algo le ocurría,  tal vez fue despedido, o tuvo una seria pelea con mi madre, algo que creo lógico, ya que Paty se pone muy insolente cuando tiene discusiones con papa. –qué ocurre?- le pregunte, tocándole la cara muy delicadamente, tratando de leer su mente o entenderlo-cariño, hay cosas de las cuales tenemos que hablar- al decir esto mi padre, supe que no era nada bueno, porque en ese mismo instante se puso a llorar, por un motivo yo hice lo mismo con él. Mi madre se despertó por el ruido.-Mary, el cáncer no te va a matar, te juro que te van a curar, te lo prometo hija pero por favor no llores-. Mi padre la observo fijamente a los ojos. Fue un golpe muy duro el que recibí, darme cuenta que tenía cáncer y de esta manera. Simplemente, busque la puerta y Salí corriendo, lo más rápido posible, segundos después me di la vuelta y vi que ya no sabía en qué parte del hospital me encontraba. –Mary!-se escuchaba en el fondo. Era mi mama que locamente me buscaba. Me imagino lo mal que se ha de sentir en este momento, pero no lo puedo creer aun, pero tengo cáncer…logre salir de esa situación, ya no estaba corriendo por los pasillos, estaba en un cuarto. –Hola- me di la vuelta y lo vi a él, creí no volver a ver esos ojos, pero si.-hola-creo que nunca estuve tan nerviosa en mi vida. Busque la forma en que la camilla cubriera mi bata, estaba descalza y muy despeinada, pero aun ocupaba ir a un baño. Al fondo vi una puerta, había un baño,-Perdón, pero me puedes prestar tu baño-, él se rio enseguida-si no hay problema, además no es mío es del hospital-. Fui caminando muy rápido, y me encerré, luego, me lave las manos, me enjuague la boca, lave mi cara, y Salí.-me llamo Mary- extendí mi mano hacia la suya.-un gusto Mary, soy Gabriel-. Nombre perfecto para un ángel, el cual él se parecía mucho. Sentía mi corazón palpitando mucho, en un instante sentía que me desmayaba y era enserio, no era por las mariposas ni nada por el estilo, realmente me sentía mal. Gabriel tomo mi mano, me ayudo a sentarme y enseguida llamo a una enfermera. Al rato todos estaban en la habitación, incluso mis papas. –Mary!!—mama estoy bien-.la enfermera me acostó en la camilla de Gabriel, y me tomo la presión, al segundo llego otra enfermera a sacarme sangre. Papa me tomo de la cintura, y me guiaban para ir a mi habitación. Estoy en este momento entrando en un túnel donde sentía que nunca llegaría a casa, pensaba en todas las cosas que hice antes por diversión, pero ahora vivo una pesadilla, que espero que sea simplemente eso, y despertar termine con ella. No pude decirle adiós a Gabriel, pero ya sabia que su numero era treinta y seis, y la mia era la sesenta y dos. Había un brillo que trataba de iluminar mi vida, mi cerebro, había tanta oscuridad, tanta tristeza oculta, cuando la gente que yo amo se de cuente de lo que tengo y en lo que me convertiré tendre miedo de su miedo. He visto tantas películas de esas en las que alguien tiene cáncer o una enfermedad terminal, tengo miedo de no querer luchar por mi vida, miedo a no querer salir de esa comodidad en mi mente y querer rendirme. Tengo solo pocos momentos en mi vida, que valen la pena ser contados. Qué tal si no lleguen mas momentos asi y muera sin haber vivido mi vida. He viajado mucho para que termine asi. Mi mente viaja por lugares muy profundos de mi alma, siento eterna la llegada  a mi habitación. Solo escucho bulla de afuera, tanta que no se en cual enfocarme. Mis papas respetan mi silencio, saben que quiero aclarar mejor las cosas pero que tal si no quiero saberlo y seguir así, viajando por la vida solo por viajar sin rumbo, porque la verdad asi me siento. –mary quieres desayunar, el doctor dice que no tienes dieta-. –Si mam, -dije para romper el silencio de aquella blanca habitación. Tengo una terraza, con hermosas flores, no tengo nada que perder ni ganar ahora, solo disfrutar de su belleza y el canto de los pájaros, es hermosa; la única que no me altera, la única que no se siente como bulla. –pero, creo que todos necesitamos una ducha—si, papa, pero no tengo ropa-.Mama ira a la casa y yo a comprar el desayuno, y tu te quedaras aqui con la enfermera mientra te terminan de revisar-. No  soportaba la idea de que tuvieran que sacarme sangre o que alguien estuviera tan cerca de mi, como esta enfermera. Mis papas salieron de la habitacion, y tuve el descaro de preguntarle en el oído a una de las enfermeras, de quien era Gabriel.-te gusta verdad?-,-no!, simplemente tengo curiosidad-.y ahí empezó la historia mas fasinante e interesante que había escuchacho antes.- Se llama Gabriel Cole y tiene doce años, su mama, no sabemos nada de ella. Vino hace seis meses y desde entonces vive aquí, su papa es Señor Cole,no pudo soportar verlo enfermo entonces pago para que viviera aquí, y se fue. Viene a visitarlo una vez a la semana pero tiene dos semanas sin venir.es un buen muchacho, no le vendría mal una amiga, ahora que no tiene a nadie-.no  puedo creer que su familia lo haya abandonado. No me imagino vivir sin mi mama o sin mi papa, seria horrible.-Bueno he terminado contigo, el doctor Collins vendrá en un rato, descansa-. Salieron por la puerta dejándome sola.
O Sovereign power of love! O grief! O balm!
All records, saving thine, come cool, and calm,
And shadowy, through the mist of passed years:
For others, good or bad, hatred and tears
Have become indolent; but touching thine,
One sigh doth echo, one poor sob doth pine,
One kiss brings honey-dew from buried days.
The woes of Troy, towers smothering o'er their blaze,
Stiff-holden shields, far-piercing spears, keen blades,
Struggling, and blood, and shrieks--all dimly fades
Into some backward corner of the brain;
Yet, in our very souls, we feel amain
The close of Troilus and Cressid sweet.
Hence, pageant history! hence, gilded cheat!
Swart planet in the universe of deeds!
Wide sea, that one continuous murmur breeds
Along the pebbled shore of memory!
Many old rotten-timber'd boats there be
Upon thy vaporous *****, magnified
To goodly vessels; many a sail of pride,
And golden keel'd, is left unlaunch'd and dry.
But wherefore this? What care, though owl did fly
About the great Athenian admiral's mast?
What care, though striding Alexander past
The Indus with his Macedonian numbers?
Though old Ulysses tortured from his slumbers
The glutted Cyclops, what care?--Juliet leaning
Amid her window-flowers,--sighing,--weaning
Tenderly her fancy from its maiden snow,
Doth more avail than these: the silver flow
Of Hero's tears, the swoon of Imogen,
Fair Pastorella in the bandit's den,
Are things to brood on with more ardency
Than the death-day of empires. Fearfully
Must such conviction come upon his head,
Who, thus far, discontent, has dared to tread,
Without one muse's smile, or kind behest,
The path of love and poesy. But rest,
In chaffing restlessness, is yet more drear
Than to be crush'd, in striving to uprear
Love's standard on the battlements of song.
So once more days and nights aid me along,
Like legion'd soldiers.

                        Brain-sick shepherd-prince,
What promise hast thou faithful guarded since
The day of sacrifice? Or, have new sorrows
Come with the constant dawn upon thy morrows?
Alas! 'tis his old grief. For many days,
Has he been wandering in uncertain ways:
Through wilderness, and woods of mossed oaks;
Counting his woe-worn minutes, by the strokes
Of the lone woodcutter; and listening still,
Hour after hour, to each lush-leav'd rill.
Now he is sitting by a shady spring,
And elbow-deep with feverous *******
Stems the upbursting cold: a wild rose tree
Pavilions him in bloom, and he doth see
A bud which snares his fancy: lo! but now
He plucks it, dips its stalk in the water: how!
It swells, it buds, it flowers beneath his sight;
And, in the middle, there is softly pight
A golden butterfly; upon whose wings
There must be surely character'd strange things,
For with wide eye he wonders, and smiles oft.

  Lightly this little herald flew aloft,
Follow'd by glad Endymion's clasped hands:
Onward it flies. From languor's sullen bands
His limbs are loos'd, and eager, on he hies
Dazzled to trace it in the sunny skies.
It seem'd he flew, the way so easy was;
And like a new-born spirit did he pass
Through the green evening quiet in the sun,
O'er many a heath, through many a woodland dun,
Through buried paths, where sleepy twilight dreams
The summer time away. One track unseams
A wooded cleft, and, far away, the blue
Of ocean fades upon him; then, anew,
He sinks adown a solitary glen,
Where there was never sound of mortal men,
Saving, perhaps, some snow-light cadences
Melting to silence, when upon the breeze
Some holy bark let forth an anthem sweet,
To cheer itself to Delphi. Still his feet
Went swift beneath the merry-winged guide,
Until it reached a splashing fountain's side
That, near a cavern's mouth, for ever pour'd
Unto the temperate air: then high it soar'd,
And, downward, suddenly began to dip,
As if, athirst with so much toil, 'twould sip
The crystal spout-head: so it did, with touch
Most delicate, as though afraid to smutch
Even with mealy gold the waters clear.
But, at that very touch, to disappear
So fairy-quick, was strange! Bewildered,
Endymion sought around, and shook each bed
Of covert flowers in vain; and then he flung
Himself along the grass. What gentle tongue,
What whisperer disturb'd his gloomy rest?
It was a nymph uprisen to the breast
In the fountain's pebbly margin, and she stood
'**** lilies, like the youngest of the brood.
To him her dripping hand she softly kist,
And anxiously began to plait and twist
Her ringlets round her fingers, saying: "Youth!
Too long, alas, hast thou starv'd on the ruth,
The bitterness of love: too long indeed,
Seeing thou art so gentle. Could I ****
Thy soul of care, by heavens, I would offer
All the bright riches of my crystal coffer
To Amphitrite; all my clear-eyed fish,
Golden, or rainbow-sided, or purplish,
Vermilion-tail'd, or finn'd with silvery gauze;
Yea, or my veined pebble-floor, that draws
A ****** light to the deep; my grotto-sands
Tawny and gold, ooz'd slowly from far lands
By my diligent springs; my level lilies, shells,
My charming rod, my potent river spells;
Yes, every thing, even to the pearly cup
Meander gave me,--for I bubbled up
To fainting creatures in a desert wild.
But woe is me, I am but as a child
To gladden thee; and all I dare to say,
Is, that I pity thee; that on this day
I've been thy guide; that thou must wander far
In other regions, past the scanty bar
To mortal steps, before thou cans't be ta'en
From every wasting sigh, from every pain,
Into the gentle ***** of thy love.
Why it is thus, one knows in heaven above:
But, a poor Naiad, I guess not. Farewel!
I have a ditty for my hollow cell."

  Hereat, she vanished from Endymion's gaze,
Who brooded o'er the water in amaze:
The dashing fount pour'd on, and where its pool
Lay, half asleep, in grass and rushes cool,
Quick waterflies and gnats were sporting still,
And fish were dimpling, as if good nor ill
Had fallen out that hour. The wanderer,
Holding his forehead, to keep off the burr
Of smothering fancies, patiently sat down;
And, while beneath the evening's sleepy frown
Glow-worms began to trim their starry lamps,
Thus breath'd he to himself: "Whoso encamps
To take a fancied city of delight,
O what a wretch is he! and when 'tis his,
After long toil and travelling, to miss
The kernel of his hopes, how more than vile:
Yet, for him there's refreshment even in toil;
Another city doth he set about,
Free from the smallest pebble-bead of doubt
That he will seize on trickling honey-combs:
Alas, he finds them dry; and then he foams,
And onward to another city speeds.
But this is human life: the war, the deeds,
The disappointment, the anxiety,
Imagination's struggles, far and nigh,
All human; bearing in themselves this good,
That they are sill the air, the subtle food,
To make us feel existence, and to shew
How quiet death is. Where soil is men grow,
Whether to weeds or flowers; but for me,
There is no depth to strike in: I can see
Nought earthly worth my compassing; so stand
Upon a misty, jutting head of land--
Alone? No, no; and by the Orphean lute,
When mad Eurydice is listening to 't;
I'd rather stand upon this misty peak,
With not a thing to sigh for, or to seek,
But the soft shadow of my thrice-seen love,
Than be--I care not what. O meekest dove
Of heaven! O Cynthia, ten-times bright and fair!
From thy blue throne, now filling all the air,
Glance but one little beam of temper'd light
Into my *****, that the dreadful might
And tyranny of love be somewhat scar'd!
Yet do not so, sweet queen; one torment spar'd,
Would give a pang to jealous misery,
Worse than the torment's self: but rather tie
Large wings upon my shoulders, and point out
My love's far dwelling. Though the playful rout
Of Cupids shun thee, too divine art thou,
Too keen in beauty, for thy silver prow
Not to have dipp'd in love's most gentle stream.
O be propitious, nor severely deem
My madness impious; for, by all the stars
That tend thy bidding, I do think the bars
That kept my spirit in are burst--that I
Am sailing with thee through the dizzy sky!
How beautiful thou art! The world how deep!
How tremulous-dazzlingly the wheels sweep
Around their axle! Then these gleaming reins,
How lithe! When this thy chariot attains
Is airy goal, haply some bower veils
Those twilight eyes? Those eyes!--my spirit fails--
Dear goddess, help! or the wide-gaping air
Will gulph me--help!"--At this with madden'd stare,
And lifted hands, and trembling lips he stood;
Like old Deucalion mountain'd o'er the flood,
Or blind Orion hungry for the morn.
And, but from the deep cavern there was borne
A voice, he had been froze to senseless stone;
Nor sigh of his, nor plaint, nor passion'd moan
Had more been heard. Thus swell'd it forth: "Descend,
Young mountaineer! descend where alleys bend
Into the sparry hollows of the world!
Oft hast thou seen bolts of the thunder hurl'd
As from thy threshold, day by day hast been
A little lower than the chilly sheen
Of icy pinnacles, and dipp'dst thine arms
Into the deadening ether that still charms
Their marble being: now, as deep profound
As those are high, descend! He ne'er is crown'd
With immortality, who fears to follow
Where airy voices lead: so through the hollow,
The silent mysteries of earth, descend!"

  He heard but the last words, nor could contend
One moment in reflection: for he fled
Into the fearful deep, to hide his head
From the clear moon, the trees, and coming madness.

  'Twas far too strange, and wonderful for sadness;
Sharpening, by degrees, his appetite
To dive into the deepest. Dark, nor light,
The region; nor bright, nor sombre wholly,
But mingled up; a gleaming melancholy;
A dusky empire and its diadems;
One faint eternal eventide of gems.
Aye, millions sparkled on a vein of gold,
Along whose track the prince quick footsteps told,
With all its lines abrupt and angular:
Out-shooting sometimes, like a meteor-star,
Through a vast antre; then the metal woof,
Like Vulcan's rainbow, with some monstrous roof
Curves hugely: now, far in the deep abyss,
It seems an angry lightning, and doth hiss
Fancy into belief: anon it leads
Through winding passages, where sameness breeds
Vexing conceptions of some sudden change;
Whether to silver grots, or giant range
Of sapphire columns, or fantastic bridge
Athwart a flood of crystal. On a ridge
Now fareth he, that o'er the vast beneath
Towers like an ocean-cliff, and whence he seeth
A hundred waterfalls, whose voices come
But as the murmuring surge. Chilly and numb
His ***** grew, when first he, far away,
Descried an orbed diamond, set to fray
Old darkness from his throne: 'twas like the sun
Uprisen o'er chaos: and with such a stun
Came the amazement, that, absorb'd in it,
He saw not fiercer wonders--past the wit
Of any spirit to tell, but one of those
Who, when this planet's sphering time doth close,
Will be its high remembrancers: who they?
The mighty ones who have made eternal day
For Greece and England. While astonishment
With deep-drawn sighs was quieting, he went
Into a marble gallery, passing through
A mimic temple, so complete and true
In sacred custom, that he well nigh fear'd
To search it inwards, whence far off appear'd,
Through a long pillar'd vista, a fair shrine,
And, just beyond, on light tiptoe divine,
A quiver'd Dian. Stepping awfully,
The youth approach'd; oft turning his veil'd eye
Down sidelong aisles, and into niches old.
And when, more near against the marble cold
He had touch'd his forehead, he began to thread
All courts and passages, where silence dead
Rous'd by his whispering footsteps murmured faint:
And long he travers'd to and fro, to acquaint
Himself with every mystery, and awe;
Till, weary, he sat down before the maw
Of a wide outlet, fathomless and dim
To wild uncertainty and shadows grim.
There, when new wonders ceas'd to float before,
And thoughts of self came on, how crude and sore
The journey homeward to habitual self!
A mad-pursuing of the fog-born elf,
Whose flitting lantern, through rude nettle-briar,
Cheats us into a swamp, into a fire,
Into the ***** of a hated thing.

  What misery most drowningly doth sing
In lone Endymion's ear, now he has caught
The goal of consciousness? Ah, 'tis the thought,
The deadly feel of solitude: for lo!
He cannot see the heavens, nor the flow
Of rivers, nor hill-flowers running wild
In pink and purple chequer, nor, up-pil'd,
The cloudy rack slow journeying in the west,
Like herded elephants; nor felt, nor prest
Cool grass, nor tasted the fresh slumberous air;
But far from such companionship to wear
An unknown time, surcharg'd with grief, away,
Was now his lot. And must he patient stay,
Tracing fantastic figures with his spear?
"No!" exclaimed he, "why should I tarry here?"
No! loudly echoed times innumerable.
At which he straightway started, and 'gan tell
His paces back into the temple's chief;
Warming and glowing strong in the belief
Of help from Dian: so that when again
He caught her airy form, thus did he plain,
Moving more near the while. "O Haunter chaste
Of river sides, and woods, and heathy waste,
Where with thy silver bow and arrows keen
Art thou now forested? O woodland Queen,
What smoothest air thy smoother forehead woos?
Where dost thou listen to the wide halloos
Of thy disparted nymphs? Through what dark tree
Glimmers thy crescent? Wheresoe'er it be,
'Tis in the breath of heaven: thou dost taste
Freedom as none can taste it, nor dost waste
Thy loveliness in dismal elements;
But, finding in our green earth sweet contents,
There livest blissfully. Ah, if to thee
It feels Elysian, how rich to me,
An exil'd mortal, sounds its pleasant name!
Within my breast there lives a choking flame--
O let me cool it among the zephyr-boughs!
A homeward fever parches up my tongue--
O let me slake it at the running springs!
Upon my ear a noisy nothing rings--
O let me once more hear the linnet's note!
Before mine eyes thick films and shadows float--
O let me 'noint them with the heaven's light!
Dost thou now lave thy feet and ankles white?
O think how sweet to me the freshening sluice!
Dost thou now please thy thirst with berry-juice?
O think how this dry palate would rejoice!
If in soft slumber thou dost hear my voice,
Oh think how I should love a bed of flowers!--
Young goddess! let me see my native bowers!
Deliver me from this rapacious deep!"

  Thus ending loudly, as he would o'erleap
His destiny, alert he stood: but when
Obstinate silence came heavily again,
Feeling about for its old couch of space
And airy cradle, lowly bow'd his face
Desponding, o'er the marble floor's cold thrill.
But 'twas not long; for, sweeter than the rill
To its old channel, or a swollen tide
To margin sallows, were the leaves he spied,
And flowers, and wreaths, and ready myrtle crowns
Up heaping through the slab: refreshment drowns
Itself, and strives its own delights to hide--
Nor in one spot alone; the floral pride
In a long whispering birth enchanted grew
Before his footsteps; as when heav'd anew
Old ocean rolls a lengthened wave to the shore,
Down whose green back the short-liv'd foam, all ****,
Bursts gradual, with a wayward indolence.

  Increasing still in heart, and pleasant sense,
Upon his fairy journey on he hastes;
So anxious for the end, he scarcely wastes
One moment with his hand among the sweets:
Onward he goes--he stops--his ***** beats
As plainly in his ear, as the faint charm
Of which the throbs were born. This still alarm,
This sleepy music, forc'd him walk tiptoe:
For it came more softly than the east could blow
Arion's magic to the Atlantic isles;
Or than the west, made jealous by the smiles
Of thron'd Apollo, could breathe back the lyre
To seas Ionian and Tyrian.

  O did he ever live, that lonely man,
Who lov'd--and music slew not? 'Tis the pest
Of love, that fairest joys give most unrest;
That things of delicate and tenderest worth
Are swallow'd all, and made a seared dearth,
By one consuming flame: it doth immerse
And suffocate true blessings in a curse.
Half-happy, by comparison of bliss,
Is miserable. 'Twas even so with this
Dew-dropping melody, in the Carian's ear;
First heaven, then hell, and then forgotten clear,
Vanish'd in elemental passion.

  And down some swart abysm he had gone,
Had not a heavenly guide benignant led
To where thick myrt
I MIND him well, he was a quare ould chap,
Come like meself from swate ould Erin's sod;
He hired me wanst to help his harvest in-
The crops was fine that summer, praised be God!

He found us, Rosie, Mickie, an' meself,
Just landed in the emigration shed;
Meself was tyin' on their bits of clothes;
Their mother-rest her tender sowl!-was dead.

It's not meself can say of what she died:
But 'twas the year the praties felt the rain,
An' rotted in the soil; an' just to dhraw
The breath of life was one long hungry pain.

If we wor haythens in a furrin land,
Not in a country grand in Christian pride,
Faith, then a man might have the face to say
'Twas of stharvation me poor Sheila died.

But whin the parish docthor come at last,
Whin death was like a sun-burst in her eyes-
They looked straight into Heaven-an' her ears
Wor deaf to the poor children's hungry cries,

He touched the bones stretched on the mouldy sthraw:
'She's gone!' he says, and drew a solemn frown;
'I fear, my man, she's dead.' 'Of what?' says I.
He coughed, and says, 'She's let her system down!'

'An' that's God's truth!' says I, an' felt about
To touch her dawney hand, for all looked dark;
An' in me hunger-bleached, shmall-beatin' heart,
I felt the kindlin' of a burnin'spark.

'O by me sowl, that is the holy truth!
There's Rosie's cheek has kept a dimple still,
An' Mickie's eyes are bright-the craythur there
Died that the weeny ones might eat their fill.'

An' whin they spread the daisies thick an' white
Above her head that wanst lay on me breast,
I had no tears, but took the childher's hands,
An' says, 'We'll lave the mother to her rest.'

An' och! the sod was green that summer's day,
An' rainbows crossed the low hills, blue an' fair;
But black an' foul the blighted furrows stretched,
An' sent their cruel poison through the air.

An' all was quiet-on the sunny sides
Of hedge an' ditch the stharvin' craythurs lay,
An' thim as lacked the rint from empty walls
Of little cabins wapin' turned away.

God's curse lay heavy on the poor ould sod,
An' whin upon her increase His right hand
Fell with'ringly, there samed no bit of blue
For Hope to shine through on the sthricken land.

No facthory chimblys shmoked agin the sky.
No mines yawned on the hills so full an' rich;
A man whose praties failed had nought to do
But fold his hands an' die down in a ditch.

A flame rose up widin me feeble heart,
Whin, passin' through me cabin's hingeless dure,
I saw the mark of Sheila's coffin in
The grey dust on the empty earthen flure.

I lifted Rosie's face betwixt me hands;
Says I, 'Me girleen, you an' **** an' me
Must lave the green ould sod an' look for food
In thim strange countries far beyant the sea.'

An' so it chanced, whin landed on the sthreet,
Ould Dolan, rowlin' a quare ould shay
Came there to hire a man to save his wheat,
An' hired meself and Mickie by the day.

'An' bring the girleen, Pat,' he says, an' looked
At Rosie, lanin' up agin me knee;
'The wife will be right plaised to see the child,
The weeney shamrock from beyant the sea.

'We've got a tidy place, the saints be praised!
As nice a farm as ever brogan trod.
A hundered acres-us as never owned
Land big enough to make a lark a sod.'

'Bedad,' says I, 'I heerd them over there
Tell how the goold was lyin' in the sthreet,
An' guineas in the very mud that sthuck
To the ould brogans on a poor man's feet.'

'Begorra, Pat,' says Dolan, 'may ould Nick
Fly off wid thim rapscallions, schaming rogues,
An' sind thim thrampin' purgatory's flure
Wid red hot guineas in their polished brogues!'

'Och, thin,' says I, 'meself agrees to that!'
Ould Dolan smiled wid eyes so bright an' grey;
Says he, 'Kape up yer heart; I never kew
Since I come out a single hungry day.

'But thin I left the crowded city sthreets-
Th'are men galore to toil in thim an' die;
Meself wint wid me axe to cut a home
In the green woods beneath the clear, swate sky.

'I did that same; an' God be praised this day!
Plenty sits smilin' by me own dear dure;
An' in them years I never wanst have seen
A famished child creep tremblin' on me flure.'

I listened to ould Dolan's honest words:
That's twenty years ago this very spring,
An' **** is married, an' me Rosie wears
A swateheart's little shinin' goulden ring.

'Twould make yer heart lape just to take a look
At the green fields upon me own big farm;
An' God be praised! all men may have the same
That owns an axe an' has a strong right arm!
The day that I was christened--
  It's a hundred years, and more!--
A hag came and listened
  At the white church door,
A-hearing her that bore me
  And all my kith and kin
Considerately, for me,
  Renouncing sin.
While some gave me corals,
  And some gave me gold,
And porringers, with morals
  Agreeably scrolled,
The hag stood, buckled
  In a dim gray cloak;
Stood there and chuckled,
  Spat, and spoke:
"There's few enough in life'll
  Be needing my help,
But I've got a trifle
  For your fine young whelp.
I give her sadness,
  And the gift of pain,
The new-moon madness,
  And the love of rain."
And little good to lave me
  In their holy silver bowl
After what she gave me--
  Rest her soul!
I bring ye wine from above,
From the vats of the storied sun;
For every one of yer love,
And life for every one.
Ye shall dance on hill and level;
Ye shall sing in hollow and height
In the festal mystical revel,
The rapurous Bacchanal rite!
The rocks and trees are yours,
And the waters under the hill,
By the might of that which endures,
The holy heaven of will!
I kindle a flame like a torrent
To rush from star to star;
Your hair as a comet’s horrent,
Ye shall see things as they are!
I lift the mask of matter;
I open the heart of man;
For I am of force to shatter
The cast that hideth -Pan!
Your loves shall lap up slaughter,
And dabbled with roses of blood
Each desperate darling daughter
Shall swim in the fervid flood.
I bring ye laughter and tears,
The kisses that foam and bleed,
The joys of a million years,
The flowers that bear no seed.
My life is bitter and sterile,
Its flame is a wandering star.
Ye shall pass in pleasure and peril
Across the mystic bar
That is set for wrath and weeping
Against the children of earth;
But ye in singing and sleeping
Shall pass in measure and mirth!
I lift my wand and wave you
Through hill to hill of delight :
My rosy rivers lave you
In innermost lustral light..
I lead you, lord of the maze,
In the darkness free of the sun;
In spite of the spite that is day’s
We are wed, we are wild, we are one.
INSCRIBED TO ROBERT AIKEN, ESQ.

        Let not Ambition mock their useful toil,
        Their homely joys and destiny obscure;
        Nor Grandeur hear with a disdainful smile,
        The short and simple annals of the poor.
                  (Gray, “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard”)

  My lov’d, my honour’d, much respected friend!
      No mercenary bard his homage pays;
    With honest pride, I scorn each selfish end:
      My dearest meed a friend’s esteem and praise.
      To you I sing, in simple Scottish lays,
    The lowly train in life’s sequester’d scene;
      The native feelings strong, the guileless ways;
    What Aiken in a cottage would have been;
Ah! tho’ his worth unknown, far happier there, I ween!

  November chill blaws loud wi’ angry sugh,
      The short’ning winter day is near a close;
    The miry beasts retreating frae the pleugh,
      The black’ning trains o’ craws to their repose;
    The toil-worn Cotter frae his labour goes,—
    This night his weekly moil is at an end,—
      Collects his spades, his mattocks and his hoes,
    Hoping the morn in ease and rest to spend,
And weary, o’er the moor, his course does hameward bend.

  At length his lonely cot appears in view,
      Beneath the shelter of an aged tree;
    Th’ expectant wee-things, toddlin, stacher through
      To meet their dad, wi’ flichterin noise an’ glee.
      His wee bit ingle, blinkin bonilie,
    His clean hearth-stane, his thrifty wifie’s smile,
      The lisping infant prattling on his knee,
    Does a’ his weary kiaugh and care beguile,
An’ makes him quite forget his labour an’ his toil.

  Belyve, the elder bairns come drapping in,
      At service out, amang the farmers roun’;
    Some ca’ the pleugh, some herd, some tentie rin
      A cannie errand to a neibor toun:
      Their eldest hope, their Jenny, woman-grown,
    In youthfu’ bloom, love sparkling in her e’e,
      Comes hame, perhaps, to shew a braw new gown,
    Or deposite her sair-won penny-fee,
To help her parents dear, if they in hardship be.

  With joy unfeign’d, brothers and sisters meet,
      An’ each for other’s weelfare kindly spiers:
    The social hours, swift-wing’d, unnotic’d fleet;
      Each tells the uncos that he sees or hears.
      The parents partial eye their hopeful years;
    Anticipation forward points the view;
      The mother, wi’ her needle an’ her sheers,
    Gars auld claes look amaist as weel’s the new;
The father mixes a’ wi’ admonition due.

  Their master’s an’ their mistress’s command
      The younkers a’ are warned to obey;
    An’ mind their labours wi’ an eydent hand,
      An’ ne’er tho’ out o’ sight, to jauk or play:
      “An’ O! be sure to fear the Lord alway,
    An’ mind your duty, duly, morn an’ night!
      Lest in temptation’s path ye gang astray,
    Implore his counsel and assisting might:
They never sought in vain that sought the Lord aright!”

  But hark! a rap comes gently to the door.
      Jenny, wha kens the meaning o’ the same,
    Tells how a neebor lad cam o’er the moor,
      To do some errands, and convoy her hame.
      The wily mother sees the conscious flame
    Sparkle in Jenny’s e’e, and flush her cheek;
      Wi’ heart-struck, anxious care, inquires his name,
      While Jenny hafflins is afraid to speak;
Weel-pleas’d the mother hears, it’s nae wild, worthless rake.

  Wi’ kindly welcome Jenny brings him ben,
      A strappin youth; he takes the mother’s eye;
    Blythe Jenny sees the visit’s no ill taen;
      The father cracks of horses, pleughs, and kye.
      The youngster’s artless heart o’erflows wi’ joy,
    But, blate and laithfu’, scarce can weel behave;
      The mother wi’ a woman’s wiles can spy
    What maks the youth sae bashfu’ an’ sae grave,
Weel pleas’d to think her bairn’s respected like the lave.

  O happy love! where love like this is found!
      O heart-felt raptures! bliss beyond compare!
    I’ve paced much this weary, mortal round,
      And sage experience bids me this declare—
    “If Heaven a draught of heavenly pleasure spare,
      One cordial in this melancholy vale,
      ’Tis when a youthful, loving, modest pair,
    In other’s arms breathe out the tender tale,
Beneath the milk-white thorn that scents the ev’ning gale.”

  Is there, in human form, that bears a heart,
      A wretch! a villain! lost to love and truth!
    That can with studied, sly, ensnaring art
      Betray sweet Jenny’s unsuspecting youth?
      Curse on his perjur’d arts! dissembling smooth!
    Are honour, virtue, conscience, all exil’d?
      Is there no pity, no relenting truth,
    Points to the parents fondling o’er their child,
Then paints the ruin’d maid, and their distraction wild?

  But now the supper crowns their simple board,
      The halesome parritch, chief of Scotia’s food;
    The soupe their only hawkie does afford,
      That yont the hallan snugly chows her cud.
      The dame brings forth, in complimental mood,
    To grace the lad, her weel-hain’d kebbuck fell,
      An’ aft he’s prest, an’ aft he ca’s it guid;
    The frugal wifie, garrulous, will tell,
How ’twas a towmond auld, sin’ lint was i’ the bell.

  The cheerfu’ supper done, wi’ serious face,
      They round the ingle form a circle wide;
    The sire turns o’er, with patriarchal grace,
      The big ha’-Bible, ance his father’s pride;
      His bonnet rev’rently is laid aside,
    His lyart haffets wearing thin and bare;
      Those strains that once did sweet in Zion glide,
    He wales a portion with judicious care;
And, “Let us worship God,” he says with solemn air.

  They chant their artless notes in simple guise;
      They tune their hearts, by far the noblest aim:
    Perhaps Dundee’s wild-warbling measures rise,
      Or plaintive Martyrs, worthy of the name,
      Or noble Elgin beets the heaven-ward flame,
    The sweetest far of Scotia’s holy lays.
      Compar’d with these, Italian trills are tame;
      The tickl’d ear no heart-felt raptures raise;
Nae unison hae they, with our Creator’s praise.

  The priest-like father reads the sacred page,
      How Abram was the friend of God on high;
    Or Moses bade eternal warfare wage
      With Amalek’s ungracious progeny;
      Or how the royal bard did groaning lie
    Beneath the stroke of Heaven’s avenging ire;
      Or Job’s pathetic plaint, and wailing cry;
    Or rapt Isaiah’s wild, seraphic fire;
Or other holy seers that tune the sacred lyre.

  Perhaps the Christian volume is the theme,
      How guiltless blood for guilty man was shed;
    How He, who bore in Heaven the second name
      Had not on earth whereon to lay His head:
      How His first followers and servants sped;
    The precepts sage they wrote to many a land:
      How he, who lone in Patmos banished,
    Saw in the sun a mighty angel stand,
And heard great Bab’lon’s doom pronounc’d by Heaven’s command.

  Then kneeling down to Heaven’s Eternal King,
      The saint, the father, and the husband prays:
    Hope “springs exulting on triumphant wing,”
      That thus they all shall meet in future days:
      There ever bask in uncreated rays,
    No more to sigh or shed the bitter tear,
      Together hymning their Creator’s praise,
    In such society, yet still more dear,
While circling Time moves round in an eternal sphere.

  Compar’d with this, how poor Religion’s pride
      In all the pomp of method and of art,
    When men display to congregations wide
      Devotion’s ev’ry grace except the heart!
      The Pow’r, incens’d, the pageant will desert,
    The pompous strain, the sacerdotal stole;
      But haply in some cottage far apart
    May hear, well pleas’d, the language of the soul,
And in His Book of Life the inmates poor enrol.

  Then homeward all take off their sev’ral way;
      The youngling cottagers retire to rest;
    The parent-pair their secret homage pay,
      And proffer up to Heav’n the warm request,
      That He who stills the raven’s clam’rous nest,
    And decks the lily fair in flow’ry pride,
      Would, in the way His wisdom sees the best,
    For them and for their little ones provide;
But chiefly, in their hearts with grace divine preside.

  From scenes like these old Scotia’s grandeur springs,
      That makes her lov’d at home, rever’d abroad:
    Princes and lords are but the breath of kings,
      “An honest man’s the noblest work of God”:
      And certes, in fair Virtue’s heavenly road,
    The cottage leaves the palace far behind:
      What is a lordling’s pomp? a cumbrous load,
    Disguising oft the wretch of human kind,
Studied in arts of hell, in wickedness refin’d!

  O Scotia! my dear, my native soil!
      For whom my warmest wish to Heaven is sent!
    Long may thy hardy sons of rustic toil
      Be blest with health, and peace, and sweet content!
      And, oh! may Heaven their simple lives prevent
    From luxury’s contagion, weak and vile!
      Then, howe’er crowns and coronets be rent,
    A virtuous populace may rise the while,
And stand a wall of fire around their much-lov’d isle.

  O Thou! who pour’d the patriotic tide
      That stream’d thro’ Wallace’s undaunted heart,
    Who dar’d to nobly stem tyrannic pride,
      Or nobly die, the second glorious part,—
      (The patriot’s God peculiarly thou art,
    His friend, inspirer, guardian, and reward!)
      O never, never Scotia’s realm desert,
    But still the patriot, and the patriot-bard,
In bright succession raise, her ornament and guard!
On Turning her up in her Nest with the Plough

Wee, sleekit, cow’rin’, tim’rous beastie,
O what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickering brattle!
I *** be laith to rin an’ chase thee
Wi’ murd’ring pattle!

I’m truly sorry man’s dominion
Has broken nature’s social union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor earth-born companion,
An’ fellow-mortal!

I doubt na, whiles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen-icker in a thrave
‘S a sma’ request:
I’ll get a blessin’ wi’ the lave,
And never miss’t!

Thy wee bit housie, too, in ruin!
Its silly wa’s the win’s are strewin’:
And naething, now, to big a new ane,
O’ foggage green!
An’ bleak December’s winds ensuin’
Baith snell an’ keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare and waste
An’ weary winter comin’ fast,
An’ cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till, crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro’ thy cell.

That wee bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble
Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turned out, for a’ thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter’s sleety dribble
An’ cranreuch cauld!

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft a-gley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promised joy.

Still thou art blest, compared wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But, oh! I backward cast my e’e
On prospects drear!
An’ forward, tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!
I

Our life is twofold; Sleep hath its own world,
A boundary between the things misnamed
Death and existence: Sleep hath its own world,
And a wide realm of wild reality,
And dreams in their development have breath,
And tears, and tortures, and the touch of joy;
They leave a weight upon our waking thoughts,
They take a weight from off waking toils,
They do divide our being; they become
A portion of ourselves as of our time,
And look like heralds of eternity;
They pass like spirits of the past—they speak
Like sibyls of the future; they have power—
The tyranny of pleasure and of pain;
They make us what we were not—what they will,
And shake us with the vision that’s gone by,
The dread of vanished shadows—Are they so?
Is not the past all shadow?—What are they?
Creations of the mind?—The mind can make
Substances, and people planets of its own
With beings brighter than have been, and give
A breath to forms which can outlive all flesh.
I would recall a vision which I dreamed
Perchance in sleep—for in itself a thought,
A slumbering thought, is capable of years,
And curdles a long life into one hour.

II

I saw two beings in the hues of youth
Standing upon a hill, a gentle hill,
Green and of mild declivity, the last
As ’twere the cape of a long ridge of such,
Save that there was no sea to lave its base,
But a most living landscape, and the wave
Of woods and corn-fields, and the abodes of men
Scattered at intervals, and wreathing smoke
Arising from such rustic roofs: the hill
Was crowned with a peculiar diadem
Of trees, in circular array, so fixed,
Not by the sport of nature, but of man:
These two, a maiden and a youth, were there
Gazing—the one on all that was beneath
Fair as herself—but the boy gazed on her;
And both were young, and one was beautiful:
And both were young—yet not alike in youth.
As the sweet moon on the horizon’s verge,
The maid was on the eve of womanhood;
The boy had fewer summers, but his heart
Had far outgrown his years, and to his eye
There was but one beloved face on earth,
And that was shining on him; he had looked
Upon it till it could not pass away;
He had no breath, no being, but in hers:
She was his voice; he did not speak to her,
But trembled on her words; she was his sight,
For his eye followed hers, and saw with hers,
Which coloured all his objects;—he had ceased
To live within himself: she was his life,
The ocean to the river of his thoughts,
Which terminated all; upon a tone,
A touch of hers, his blood would ebb and flow,
And his cheek change tempestuously—his heart
Unknowing of its cause of agony.
But she in these fond feelings had no share:
Her sighs were not for him; to her he was
Even as a brother—but no more; ’twas much,
For brotherless she was, save in the name
Her infant friendship had bestowed on him;
Herself the solitary scion left
Of a time-honoured race.—It was a name
Which pleased him, and yet pleased him not—and why?
Time taught him a deep answer—when she loved
Another; even now she loved another,
And on the summit of that hill she stood
Looking afar if yet her lover’s steed
Kept pace with her expectancy, and flew.

III

A change came o’er the spirit of my dream.
There was an ancient mansion, and before
Its walls there was a steed caparisoned:
Within an antique Oratory stood
The Boy of whom I spake;—he was alone,
And pale, and pacing to and fro: anon
He sate him down, and seized a pen, and traced
Words which I could not guess of; then he leaned
His bowed head on his hands and shook, as ’twere
With a convulsion—then rose again,
And with his teeth and quivering hands did tear
What he had written, but he shed no tears.
And he did calm himself, and fix his brow
Into a kind of quiet: as he paused,
The Lady of his love re-entered there;
She was serene and smiling then, and yet
She knew she was by him beloved; she knew—
For quickly comes such knowledge—that his heart
Was darkened with her shadow, and she saw
That he was wretched, but she saw not all.
He rose, and with a cold and gentle grasp
He took her hand; a moment o’er his face
A tablet of unutterable thoughts
Was traced, and then it faded, as it came;
He dropped the hand he held, and with slow steps
Retired, but not as bidding her adieu,
For they did part with mutual smiles; he passed
From out the massy gate of that old Hall,
And mounting on his steed he went his way;
And ne’er repassed that hoary threshold more.

IV

A change came o’er the spirit of my dream.
The Boy was sprung to manhood: in the wilds
Of fiery climes he made himself a home,
And his Soul drank their sunbeams; he was girt
With strange and dusky aspects; he was not
Himself like what he had been; on the sea
And on the shore he was a wanderer;
There was a mass of many images
Crowded like waves upon me, but he was
A part of all; and in the last he lay
Reposing from the noontide sultriness,
Couched among fallen columns, in the shade
Of ruined walls that had survived the names
Of those who reared them; by his sleeping side
Stood camels grazing, and some goodly steeds
Were fastened near a fountain; and a man,
Glad in a flowing garb, did watch the while,
While many of his tribe slumbered around:
And they were canopied by the blue sky,
So cloudless, clear, and purely beautiful,
That God alone was to be seen in heaven.

V

A change came o’er the spirit of my dream.
The Lady of his love was wed with One
Who did not love her better: in her home,
A thousand leagues from his,—her native home,
She dwelt, begirt with growing Infancy,
Daughters and sons of Beauty,—but behold!
Upon her face there was a tint of grief,
The settled shadow of an inward strife,
And an unquiet drooping of the eye,
As if its lid were charged with unshed tears.
What could her grief be?—she had all she loved,
And he who had so loved her was not there
To trouble with bad hopes, or evil wish,
Or ill-repressed affliction, her pure thoughts.
What could her grief be?—she had loved him not,
Nor given him cause to deem himself beloved,
Nor could he be a part of that which preyed
Upon her mind—a spectre of the past.

VI

A change came o’er the spirit of my dream.
The Wanderer was returned.—I saw him stand
Before an altar—with a gentle bride;
Her face was fair, but was not that which made
The Starlight of his Boyhood;—as he stood
Even at the altar, o’er his brow there came
The selfsame aspect and the quivering shock
That in the antique Oratory shook
His ***** in its solitude; and then—
As in that hour—a moment o’er his face
The tablet of unutterable thoughts
Was traced—and then it faded as it came,
And he stood calm and quiet, and he spoke
The fitting vows, but heard not his own words,
And all things reeled around him; he could see
Not that which was, nor that which should have been—
But the old mansion, and the accustomed hall,
And the remembered chambers, and the place,
The day, the hour, the sunshine, and the shade,
All things pertaining to that place and hour,
And her who was his destiny, came back
And ****** themselves between him and the light;
What business had they there at such a time?

VII

A change came o’er the spirit of my dream.
The Lady of his love;—Oh! she was changed,
As by the sickness of the soul; her mind
Had wandered from its dwelling, and her eyes,
They had not their own lustre, but the look
Which is not of the earth; she was become
The queen of a fantastic realm; her thoughts
Were combinations of disjointed things;
And forms impalpable and unperceived
Of others’ sight familiar were to hers.
And this the world calls frenzy; but the wise
Have a far deeper madness, and the glance
Of melancholy is a fearful gift;
What is it but the telescope of truth?
Which strips the distance of its fantasies,
And brings life near in utter nakedness,
Making the cold reality too real!

VIII

A change came o’er the spirit of my dream.
The Wanderer was alone as heretofore,
The beings which surrounded him were gone,
Or were at war with him; he was a mark
For blight and desolation, compassed round
With Hatred and Contention; Pain was mixed
In all which was served up to him, until,
Like to the Pontic monarch of old days,
He fed on poisons, and they had no power,
But were a kind of nutriment; he lived
Through that which had been death to many men,
And made him friends of mountains; with the stars
And the quick Spirit of the Universe
He held his dialogues: and they did teach
To him the magic of their mysteries;
To him the book of Night was opened wide,
And voices from the deep abyss revealed
A marvel and a secret.—Be it so.

IX

My dream is past; it had no further change.
It was of a strange order, that the doom
Of these two creatures should be thus traced out
Almost like a reality—the one
To end in madness—both in misery.
ryn Nov 2014
Je suis exatlé de voir dans ce ciel de nuit,
Auquel je dois cette plaisante fortune.
En compagnie d’étoiles clignotantes,
Subjugué par ce spectacle, j’admire ma Lune.

Lave-moi dans ton eau argentée, translucide.
Sois près de moi lors de mes blanches nuits.
Veille sur moi tel un garde sans faille.
Enveloppe-moi de murmures, un calme répit.

Ô comme tu guides les flots ardents de mon âme!
Baisse les yeux, les eaux abordent ma plage…
Érode le fardeau qui étouffe mes écueils brûlants,
Des sables noyés, oppressé, tendres otages.

Peu de nuits à présent… Épris alors que tu t’en vas.
Des brins épais et sombres de cheveux en cascades,
Dissimulent ton visage d’une manière séduisante.
Il n’en reste qu’un croissant, qui s’efface dans le noir.

Les nuits s’écoulent… Maintenant la lune se délite
M’en laissant qu’une moitié; la nuit le veut ainsi.
Reste encore, plus longtemps; ne pars pas si tôt,
Je ne me sens pas prêt à être anéanti.

Je lève la tête sans dire un mot, alors que les nuits passent.
J’ai vu mon amour lunaire se dissoudre dans l’espace.
My coeur, aussi, déchiré bout par bout…
Enfin, elle était partie; partie, sans laisser de trace.

Depuis, chaque nuit abonde de vide et de souffrance.
Je supplie les étoiles d’apaiser le vide en moi…
Mais ils se contenteraient de briller, indifférents…
Même suite à tous mes appels, mes émois.

Desormais je suis incertain sur le nombre de passages.
Les nuits n’amenèrent que l’assaut des étoiles moqueuses.
Cependant je joue des promesses celestes,
Pour le retour de ma folle quête amoureuse.

Je sais que c’est frivole de penser que je suis le seul…
C’est vrai, ils languissent; ma souffrance est la leur.
Mais c’est moi qui désire le plus ton fameux regard,
Car nos coeurs ont chanté dans toutes les couleurs.

Ma détresse à son zénith, emplis, presque brisé,
Lorsque soudain j’entends une belle chanson, lointaine.
Une chanson pareille à celle que l’on prononçât,
Encore garnie d’argent translucide, je soupire avec peine…,
“Te voilà....”
"Moongazer" in French!
Translation courtesy of the fabulous Mia Barrat!!!
Written under the impression that the author would soon die.


Adieu, thou Hill! where early joy
  Spread roses o’er my brow;
Where Science seeks each loitering boy
  With knowledge to endow.
Adieu, my youthful friends or foes,
Partners of former bliss or woes;
  No more through Ida’s paths we stray;
Soon must I share the gloomy cell,
Whose ever-slumbering inmates dwell
  Unconscious of the day.
Adieu, ye hoary Regal Fanes,
  Ye spires of Granta’s vale,
Where Learning robed in sable reigns.
  And Melancholy pale.
Ye comrades of the jovial hour,
Ye tenants of the classic bower,
On Cama’s verdant margin plac’d,
Adieu! while memory still is mine,
For offerings on Oblivion’s shrine,
These scenes must be effac’d.

Adieu, ye mountains of the clime
Where grew my youthful years;
Where Loch na Garr in snows sublime
His giant summit rears.
Why did my childhood wander forth
From you, ye regions of the North,
With sons of Pride to roam?
Why did I quit my Highland cave,
Marr’s dusky heath, and Dee’s clear wave,
To seek a Sotheron home?

Hall of my Sires! a long farewell—
Yet why to thee adieu?
Thy vaults will echo back my knell,
Thy towers my tomb will view:
The faltering tongue which sung thy fall,
And former glories of thy Hall,
Forgets its wonted simple note—
But yet the Lyre retains the strings,
And sometimes, on æolian wings,
In dying strains may float.

Fields, which surround yon rustic cot,
  While yet I linger here,
Adieu! you are not now forgot,
  To retrospection dear.
Streamlet! along whose rippling surge
My youthful limbs were wont to urge,
  At noontide heat, their pliant course;
Plunging with ardour from the shore,
Thy springs will lave these limbs no more,
  Deprived of active force.

And shall I here forget the scene,
  Still nearest to my breast?
Rocks rise and rivers roll between
  The spot which passion blest;
Yet Mary, all thy beauties seem
Fresh as in Love’s bewitching dream,
  To me in smiles display’d;
Till slow disease resigns his prey
To Death, the parent of decay,
  Thine image cannot fade.

And thou, my Friend! whose gentle love
  Yet thrills my *****’s chords,
How much thy friendship was above
  Description’s power of words!
Still near my breast thy gift I wear
Which sparkled once with Feeling’s tear,
  Of Love the pure, the sacred gem:
Our souls were equal, and our lot
In that dear moment quite forgot;
  Let Pride alone condemn!

All, all is dark and cheerless now!
  No smile of Love’s deceit
Can warm my veins with wonted glow,
  Can bid Life’s pulses beat:
Not e’en the hope of future fame
Can wake my faint, exhausted frame,
  Or crown with fancied wreaths my head.
Mine is a short inglorious race,—
To humble in the dust my face,
  And mingle with the dead.

Oh Fame! thou goddess of my heart;
  On him who gains thy praise,
Pointless must fall the Spectre’s dart,
  Consumed in Glory’s blaze;
But me she beckons from the earth,
My name obscure, unmark’d my birth,
  My life a short and ****** dream:
Lost in the dull, ignoble crowd,
My hopes recline within a shroud,
  My fate is Lethe’s stream.

When I repose beneath the sod,
  Unheeded in the clay,
Where once my playful footsteps trod,
  Where now my head must lay,
The meed of Pity will be shed
In dew-drops o’er my narrow bed,
  By nightly skies, and storms alone;
No mortal eye will deign to steep
With tears the dark sepulchral deep
  Which hides a name unknown.

Forget this world, my restless sprite,
  Turn, turn thy thoughts to Heaven:
There must thou soon direct thy flight,
  If errors are forgiven.
To bigots and to sects unknown,
Bow down beneath the Almighty’s Throne;
  To Him address thy trembling prayer:
He, who is merciful and just,
Will not reject a child of dust,
  Although His meanest care.

Father of Light! to Thee I call;
  My soul is dark within:
Thou who canst mark the sparrow’s fall,
  Avert the death of sin.
Thou, who canst guide the wandering star
Who calm’st the elemental war,
  Whose mantle is yon boundless sky,
My thoughts, my words, my crimes forgive;
And, since I soon must cease to live,
  Instruct me how to die.
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green braes,
Flow gently, I’ll sing thee a song in thy praise;
My Mary’s asleep by thy murmuring stream,
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream.

Thou stock-dove, whose echo resounds thro’ the glen,
Ye wild whistling blackbirds in yon thorny den,
Thou green-crested lapwing, thy screaming forbear,
I charge you disturb not my slumbering fair.

How lofty, sweet Afton, thy neighbouring hills,
Far mark’d with the courses of clear winding rills;
There daily I wander as noon rises high,
My flocks and my Mary’s sweet cot in my eye.

How pleasant thy banks and green valleys below,
Where wild in the woodlands the primroses blow;
There oft, as mild Ev’ning sweeps over the lea,
The sweet-scented birk shades my Mary and me.

Thy crystal stream, Afton, how lovely it glides,
And winds by the cot where my Mary resides,
How wanton thy waters her snowy feet lave,
As gathering sweet flowrets she stems thy clear wave.

  Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green braes,
Flow gently, sweet river, the theme of my lays;
My Mary’s asleep by thy murmuring stream,
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream.
Tuhade bin sannu sohneya koi hor ni labhna,

Tuhade naal hi saddi rooh nu sukoon milna.

Tussi saddi jaan ** mahiya,

Pyaar kardi haa tuhanu inna saara.

Aawe tuhanu jado hichki,

Tuhadi jaan tuhanu yaad kardi.

Har vele har dua ch tuhanu yaad karde,

Har janam tussi hi milo ohi mangde.

Saat janam ki assi hazaar janam lave,

Bs sadde utte sirf tujhada haq hove.

Warna koi Zindagi na mile sannu jide ch tussi na **,

Tuhado baajo hor nahiyo chahida koi,

Ye mahiya har janam sirf tuhadi layi hoyi.

Saddi har peedh da ilaaj tussi hi ne,

Rooh muskandi saddi jado tussi muskande.

Sadde har nakhde tussi hi jhel sakde,

Har duavan ch sirf tuhanu assi mangde.

Jeho tussi khayal rakhde ** sadda,

Tuhadi rooh da karun mai sajda.

Ankhiyan ch ankhaa paake jado dekhde,

Chand di Chandni hi hi feeki dasde.

Inni khubsurat hai rooh tuhadi,

Dil jeda saaf tey saccha utey mardi.

Sab tou sohna sohneya mileya mainu,

Jachde ** tussi hi jaan Meri sannu.
the lapping water drifting to the sand,
the smugglers hurry o'er the silver wave,
a rose-moon blushing where the waters lave
and moonlight glistens on the breezy strand.
the oars are steady, gliding to the land
the stroke of midnight near a watery cave,
their whisp'ring feet run silent as a grave                                              
to its dark reach to hide the contraband.
the waves roll mistily with honeyed breath
the sky, a vault of iron, weeps a tear,
the sweeping waters break and start to veer,
a gold tooth glints, the night as black as death,
a dreadful shout, the watch is drawing near,
how suddenly their faces pall with fear!
pandemoniac Mar 2021
stainless steel and skin
do make the worst of friends
the friction
the senses
survive and protect

will love always leave
is light simply a lie
stainless
steel blades
play god and death defy

electric is my mind
my heart is numb and small
senses
just lave
Over walls cold and tall

am i just worth not
the love ; you're unaware.
doesn't
hurt much
i'll go deeper so you care

my mind only filled
with endorphins happy red
pockets
of proof
of life; the raccoon fed

stainless steel and skin
do make the best of friends
buzzing,
living.
the cuts and seams i penned
the journey of self harm - from the time you use it when you're sad, to the time it's your only source of happiness
Rosie Dee Jan 2015
Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle!
I *** be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murd'ring pattle!

I'm truly sorry man's dominion,
Has broken nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An' fellow-mortal!

I doubt na, whiles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't!

Thy wee bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's winds ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell -
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.

That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
Now thou's turn'd out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld!

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Still thou art blest, compar'd wi' me
The present only toucheth thee:
But, Och! I backward cast my e'e.
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!
Again, not my poem, an excellent one by Robert Burns. Okay i was just gonna put up 'Address to a haggis', it being 'Burns' Day', but this is personally one of my favourite poems of his, and this is the one i heard mostly over the course of my life. I love it a lot, and i think it's an excellently written poem, with excellent language, and an excellent story (if you cant tell already, i think it is excellent haha). So enjoy this one. Happy Burns' Day (even if you don't celebrate it).
DREAMS

I was an ice baby.
I turned to sky blue.
My tears became two glass beads.
My mouth stiffened into a dumb howl.
They say it was a dream
but I remember that hardening.

My sister at six
dreamt nightly of my death:
"The baby turned to ice.
Someone put her in the refrigerator
and she turned as hard as a Popsicle."

I remember the stink of the liverwurst.
How I was put on a platter and laid
between the mayonnaise and the bacon.
The rhythm of the refrigerator
had been disturbed.
The milk bottle hissed like a snake.
The tomatoes vomited up their stomachs.
The caviar turned to lave.
The pimentos kissed like cupids.
I moved like a lobster,
slower and slower.
The air was tiny.
The air would not do.
*
I was at the dogs' party.
I was their bone.
I had been laid out in their kennel
like a fresh turkey.

This was my sister's dream
but I remember that quartering;
I remember the sickbed smell
of the sawdust floor, the pink eyes,
the pink tongues and the teeth, those nails.
I had been carried out like Moses
and hidden by the paws
of ten Boston bull terriers,
ten angry bulls
jumping like enormous roaches.
At first I was lapped,
rough as sandpaper.
I became very clean.
Then my arm was missing.
I was coming apart.
They loved me until
I was gone.



2. THE DY-DEE DOLL

My Dy-dee doll
died twice.
Once when I snapped
her head off
and let if float in the toilet
and once under the sun lamp
trying to get warm
she melted.
She was a gloom,
her face embracing
her little bent arms.
She died in all her rubber wisdom.



3. SEVEN TIMES

I died seven times
in seven ways
letting death give me a sign,
letting death place his mark on my forehead,
crossed over, crossed over

And death took root in that sleep.
In that sleep I held an ice baby
and I rocked it
and was rocked by it.
Oh Madonna, hold me.
I am a small handful.



4.MADONNA

My mother died
unrocked, unrocked.
Weeks at her deathbed
seeing her ****** herself against the metal bars,
thrashing like a fish on the hook
and me low at her high stage,
letting the priestess dance alone,
wanting to place my head in her lap
or even take her in my arms somehow
and ****** her twisted gray hair.
But her rocking horse was pain
with ***** steaming from her mouth.
Her belly was big with another child,
cancer's baby, big as a football.
I could not soothe.
With every **** and crack
there was less Madonna
until that strange labor took her.
Then the room was bankrupt.
That was the end of her paying.



5. MAX

Max and I
two immoderate sisters,
two immoderate writers,
two burdeners,
made a pact.
To beat death down with a stick.
To take over.
To build our death like carpenters.
When she had a broken back,
each night we built her sleep.
Talking on the hot line
until her eyes pulled down like shades.
And we agreed in those long hushed phone calls
that when the moment comes
we'll talk turkey,
we'll shoot words straight from the hip,
we'll play it as it lays.
Yes,
when death comes with its hood
we won't be polite.



6. BABY

Death,
you lie in my arms like a cherub,
as heavy as bread dough.
Your milky wings are as still as plastic.
Hair soft as music.
Hair the color of a harp.
And eyes made of glass,
as brittle as crystal.
Each time I rock you
I think you will break.
I rock. I rock.
Glass eye, ice eye,
primordial eye,
lava eye,
pin eye,
break eye,
how you stare back!

Like the gaze if small children
you know all about me.
You have worn my underwear.
You have read my newspaper.
You have seen my father whip me.
You have seen my stroke my father's whip.

I rock. I rock.
We plunge back and forth
comforting each other.
We are stone.
We are carved, a pieta
that swings.
Outside, the world is a chilly army.
Outside, the sea is brought to its knees.
Outside, Pakistan is swallowed in a mouthful.

I rock. I rock.
You are my stone child
with still eyes like marbles.
There is a death baby
for each of us.
We own him.
His smell is our smell.
Beware. Beware.
There is a tenderness.
There is a love
for this dumb traveler
waiting in his pink covers.
Someday,
heavy with cancer or disaster
I will look up at Max
and say: It is time.
Hand me the death baby
and there will be
that final rocking.
INFINITEabyss Aug 2016
It's the last night  ill make love to you. Frank ocean's Godspeed will play, loud enough to drown out the countless failed efforts. We pushed our luck.Ill let go of my claim for you; its a free world. It cant even escape our lips that we didnt try. Ive been thrifting too long, I dont wanna have to always make something out of the old. I need that new new. And no one can say we didnt try.   Ill make love to you and what other lips couldnt say these will say. Smoke something, with me you could always  let the tears shed. We'LL dance with tears in our eyes and better love at our finger tips. Youll find better and ill stop thrifting find that new new, where I love you isnt an apology.
Je l'ai dit quelque part, les penseurs d'autrefois,
Épiant l'inconnu dans ses plus noires lois,
Ont tous étudié la formation d'Ève.
L'un en fit son problème et l'autre en fit son rêve.
L'horreur sacrée étant dans tout, se pourrait-il
Que la femme, cet être obscur, puissant, subtil,
Fût double, et, tout ensemble ignorée et charnelle,
Fît hors d'elle l'aurore, ayant la nuit en elle ?
Le hibou serait-il caché dans l'alcyon ?
Qui dira le secret de la création ?
Les germes, les aimants, les instincts, les effluves !
Qui peut connaître à fond toutes ces sombres cuves ?
Est-ce que le Vésuve et l'Etna, les reflux
Des forces s'épuisant en efforts superflus,
Le vaste tremblement des feuilles remuées,
Les ouragans, les fleurs, les torrents, les nuées,
Ne peuvent pas finir par faire une vapeur.
Qui se condense en femme et dont le sage a peur ?

Tout fait Tout, et le même insondable cratère
Crée à Thulé la lave et la rose à Cythère.
Rien ne sort des volcans qui n'entre dans les coeurs.
Les oiseaux dans les bois ont des rires moqueurs
Et tristes, au-dessus de l'amoureux crédule.
N'est-ce pas le serpent qui vaguement ondule
Dans la souple beauté des vierges aux seins nus ?
Les grands sages étaient d'immenses ingénus ;
Ils ne connaissaient pas la forme de ce globe,
Mais, pâles, ils sentaient traîner sur eux la robe
De la sombre passante, Isis au voile noir ;
Tout devient le soupçon quand Rien est le savoir ;
Pour Lucrèce, le dieu, pour Job, le kéroubime
Mentaient ; on soupçonnait de trahison l'abîme ;
On croyait le chaos capable d'engendrer
La femme, pour nous plaire et pour nous enivrer,
Et pour faire monter jusqu'à nous sa fumée ;
La Sicile, la Grèce étrange, l'Idumée,
L'Iran, l'Egypte et l'Inde, étaient des lieux profonds ;
Qui sait ce que les vents, les brumes, les typhons
Peuvent apporter d'ombre à l'âme féminine ?
Les tragiques forêts de la chaîne Apennine,
La farouche fontaine épandue à longs flots
Sous l'Olympe, à travers les pins et les bouleaux,
L'antre de Béotie où dans l'ombre diffuse
On sent on ne sait quoi qui s'offre et se refuse,
Chypre et tous ses parfums, Delphe et tous ses rayons,
Le lys que nous cueillons, l'azur que nous voyons,
Tout cela, c'est auguste, et c'est peut-être infâme.
Tout, à leurs yeux, était sphinx, et quand une femme
Venait vers eux, parlant avec sa douce voix,
Qui sait ? peut-être Hermès et Dédale, les bois,
Les nuages, les eaux, l'effrayante Cybèle,
Toute l'énigme était mêlée à cette belle.

L'univers aboutit à ce monstre charmant.
La ménade est déjà presque un commencement
De la femme chimère, et d'antiques annales
Disent qu'avril était le temps des bacchanales,
Et que la liberté de ces fêtes s'accrut
Des fauves impudeurs de la nature en rut ;
La nature partout donne l'exemple énorme
De l'accouplement sombre où l'âme étreint la forme ;
La rose est une fille ; et ce qu'un papillon
Fait à la plante, est fait au grain par le sillon.
La végétation terrible est ignorée.
L'horreur des bois unit Flore avec Briarée,
Et marie une fleur avec l'arbre aux cent bras.
Toi qui sous le talon d'Apollon te cabras,
Ô cheval orageux du Pinde, tes narines
Frémissaient quand passaient les nymphes vipérines,
Et, sentant là de l'ombre hostile à ta clarté,
Tu t'enfuyais devant la sinistre Astarté.
Et Terpandre le vit, et Platon le raconte.
La femme est une gloire et peut être une honte
Pour l'ouvrier divin et suspect qui la fit.
A tout le bien, à tout le mal, elle suffit.

Haine, amour, fange, esprit, fièvre, elle participe
Du gouffre, et la matière aveugle est son principe.
Elle est le mois de mai fait chair, vivant, chantant.
Qu'est-ce que le printemps ? une orgie. A l'instant,
Où la femme naquit, est morte l'innocence.
Les vieux songeurs ont vu la fleur qui nous encense
Devenir femme à l'heure où l'astre éclôt au ciel,
Et, pour Orphée ainsi que pour Ézéchiel,
La nature n'étant qu'un vaste *****, l'ébauche
D'un être tentateur rit dans cette débauche ;
C'est la femme. Elle est spectre et masque, et notre sort
Est traversé par elle ; elle entre, flotte et sort.
Que nous veut-elle ? A-t-elle un but ? Par quelle issue
Cette apparition vaguement aperçue
S'est-elle dérobée ? Est-ce un souffle de nuit
Qui semble une âme errante et qui s'évanouit ?
Les sombres hommes sont une forêt, et l'ombre
Couvre leurs pas, leurs voix, leurs yeux, leur bruit, leur nombre ;
Le genre humain, mêlé sous les hauts firmaments,
Est plein de carrefours et d'entre-croisements,
Et la femme est assez blanche pour qu'on la voie
A travers cette morne et blême claire-voie.
Cette vision passe ; et l'on reste effaré.
Aux chênes de Dodone, aux cèdres de Membré,
L'hiérophante ému comme le patriarche
Regarde ce fantôme inquiétant qui marche.

Non, rien ne nous dira ce que peut être au fond
Cet être en qui Satan avec Dieu se confond :
Elle résume l'ombre énorme en son essence.
Les vieux payens croyaient à la toute puissance
De l'abîme, du lit sans fond, de l'élément ;
Ils épiaient la mer dans son enfantement ;
Pour eux, ce qui sortait de la tempête immense,
De toute l'onde en proie aux souffles en démence
Et du vaste flot vert à jamais tourmenté,
C'était le divin sphinx féminin, la Beauté,
Toute nue, infernale et céleste, insondable,
Ô gouffre ! et que peut-on voir de plus formidable,
Sous les cieux les plus noirs et les plus inconnus,
Que l'océan ayant pour écume Vénus !

Aucune aile ici-bas n'est pour longtemps posée.
Quand elle était petite, elle avait un oiseau ;
Elle le nourrissait de pain et de rosée,
Et veillait sur son nid comme sur un berceau.
Un soir il s'échappa. Que de plaintes amères !
Dans mes bras en pleurant je la vis accourir...
Jeunes filles, laissez, laissez, ô jeunes mères,
Les oiseaux s'envoler et les enfants mourir !

C'est une loi d'en haut qui veut que tout nous quitte.
Le secret du Seigneur, nous le saurons un jour.
Elle grandit. La vie, hélas ! marche si vite !
Elle eut un doux enfant, un bel ange, un amour.
Une nuit, triste sort des choses éphémères !
Cet enfant s'éteignit, sans pleurer, sans souffrir...
Jeunes filles, laissez, laissez, ô jeunes mères,
Les oiseaux s'envoler et les enfants mourir !

Le 22 juin 1842.
uhåndgribeligt, fragmenteret
    forvirret
mudret
   tunnelsyn, papirsfly, sammenkrøllet note
opmærksomhedskrævende intethed
larmende stilhed

sukkende sindstilstand
jeg føler mig separeret fra min egen krop, fra mine egne handlinger, fra denne verden og himmelrummet og tankerne og sidste år
tåge, sumpet, nysgerrigt; hemmeligt
     struktureret tilintetgørelse
frakoblet virkelighed
rutine-kunst, ikke fra hjertet eller hovedet men fra hånden
udslukt, for nu
vi vender tilbage efter vi har fikset de tekniske problemer
nu: afsted til IKEA, discountmøbler i dårlig kvalitet som alle alligevel køber

verden smelter sammen omkring os og vi vil ikke indse det; ikke SE DET
menneskelig fejhed, menneskelig fejl
terrorangst og global opvarmning og fattigdom og ****** up

EN UGES PAUSE
som mininum
   hvis det endelig skal være, så skær mig dog helt væk; fjern det hele
ikke endnu
er træt af at lave noget - er træt af ikke at lave noget
det hele står stille og kører med 300 km i timen på én gang
sælsomt
livet er som en sky
flyvende, himmelen er ikke blå
   virkelighedschok
jeg er! jeg er! du er! vi er!
min verden er aldrig blevet set fra andet end mine menneskelige øjne
vestlig, menneskelig kropslighed

skyer, man som barn troede, var håndgribelige totter vat; men som i virkeligheden bare er kolde, våde og gennemtrængelige vand-konstellationer

virkeligheden er både det allermest vidunderlige og det mest skuffende
en bizar periode, nogen kalder den '2.g'
mine digtes fokus
er blevet bredere, mere abstrakt og mindre detaljeret
jeg kan hverken passe tankerne i en kasse eller sætte en rød tråd (sorry)
at separere handlingen fra den, der handler
mennesket, uspejlet i sine handlinger
handlingen, uafhængigt at menneskelig magt
at prøve at være over det hele går simpelthen ikke
nogen må stoppe mig
stop mig!
stop samfundet!
stop jordkloden!
stop Tiden!
      det stolte og det sårbare
det kan godt være at der på den ene eller anden måde er opstået en sammenhæng og en kausalitet i dette: det er skam ikke med vilje! trust me! mine tanker er en grødmasse! : )
Margot Apr 2019
Two friends, two lively runaways
Skin tinted light bulb white-
A vague starched contrast to pistachio Mays

So many tides of turquoise fears
Lave rooted feet in flight unseen thus far  
In moon parade resulted earthly years
Few never landing kites are brushed against a shooting star

Wait! Now listen. There he comes.
Vein lianas pierce his pale wrists-
Pan plants steps on earthy lumps -
This straying soul the aging still resists

You may spot him in a forest
Leaving seasoned feral brae
With some berries wild in August,
Sweetening strangers' welcomed stay

"Have you seen my Darling, boys?
She wears ribbons in her hair
Darns old lovely teddy toys
Pray this life to her is fair."

"No, but say the author tells the truth
Lives your Wendy in a city
And her children know the sooth
They are little, yet so gritty"

Peter smiled :"Well, then I will bring them all
They'll attend the fairies' ball!
Now close your eyes and let us fall
If muffled in a fairy dust no harm will ever you befall

Onward, over a forgotten cave
Peter's flute in silence lays
Upward for a foggy cradle crave
Three flying figures in ablaze
A series called “Once Upon a Time” and two creative YouTubers Sam&Colby were my inspiration for this one. #onwardandupward
Isaac Sands Jul 2012
Oh, sweet Dianne, Huntress,
How ****** steps do bless
These very woods through which you give your chase.
Wearied now, so wish to lave
In your spring off the way.
To there she did repair, her holy place.

Actaeon, hunter too,
Left his friends, oft did do,
To run with his dogs, his skill was unmatched.
The same it was that day,
With his friends back a way
The beginnings of Actaeon's doom hatched.

So it was that noble
Actaeon did stumble
Upon fair Dianne attended within
Guarded by handmaidens
But her face un-hidden
The sight of which, Actaeon's final sin.

"Go and tell, if you can,
That you have seen Dianne
Unapparelled!" she added as water,
So potently bless-ed,
In his face was dash-ed.
Actaeon a stag, form she did alter.

"Ah! So wretched is me!"
No escape did he see
As the great hunter became the hunted.
And his dogs now gave chase
Knowing not his new face,
Run, Actaeon! Your life yet stunted!

The chase gave for three days,
Greatest, worthy of praise,
Till Actaeon's poor heart did finally
Break, now unto his fall
To the dogs he did call.
Actaeon's death, as a stag he did see.
martin Mar 2013
Je suis seule
Je suis enceinte
Le vent me dit
Rentrez, vous n'etes pas assez forte
Je reste ici

Les etoiles seront mes copains
Le ciel mon abri
Je dormirai avec les pierres
La pluie me lave

Mes souvenirs, l'amour
Sont perdus
Je n'ai pas besoin de l'argent
Demain n'existe pas
Seulement le silence
Et un papillon
(corrections welcome)
-Courage-
I am alone
I am with child
The wind tells me
Go home, you are not strong enough
I remain

The stars will be my friends
The sky my shelter
I will sleep with the stones
Washed by the rain

My memories, love
Are lost
I have no need of money
Tomorrow does not exist
Only silence
And a butterfly
Peut s’ouvrir un débat
long comme l’éternité
de savoir si vrai ou faux
avait raison Don Gomez
qui harangua son fils
en disant :
« Ce n’est que par le sang
Qu’on lave tel outrage. »

Ô quel mot fer,
quel mot acier,
sans une goute d’étain !
Le mot sans verdure,
le mot rouge sans mélange,
plus rouge que le sang,
visant perdre le souffle
au donneur de soufflet !
qui pourra le baptiser cannibalisme
ou bien légitime défense ?

Quoi qu’on dise, tranchons :
ce fut verser le sang.
Et jugeons :
Ce qu’à l’époque fut d’or
l’acte de le Cid1 Compeador
ne le serait point aujourd’hui.
C’est comme le triomphe d’Achille2
Sur son ennemi Hector.
Les deux grand guerriers, avides de sang
et de gloire malsaine,
vallées et plaines coururent,
lacs et rivières nagèrent,
étangs et marécages pataugèrent,
monts et collines gravirent,
et descendirent en volant,
se voulant l’un l’autre proie,
et l’emporta le plus criminel.

A l’Epoque Contemporaine
Pas toute victoire ne se couvre de lauriers.

La Pucelle d’Orléans ne fut-elle
brûlée vive par l’ennemi,
son tueur ignoré par tant,
et son Nom à jamais porta la couronne
à la façon de la Sainte Vierge
qui jamais ne lutta que contre le péchée,
et son arme au combat ne fut que piété,
contrairement à Charlemagne
qui fut couronné de fer
dont il eut son bon usage.

Le trépas d’un héro ne tue pas l’héroïsme.

Ce fut le cas, ce semble, du Prince
Né **** d’un palais royal.
Ce Prince qu’on le nomme :
Mohammed Bouazizi.
La montée au sommet ne fut pas improviste
ni sujet de surprise ;
c’est le fruit du courage bénit,
lequel conditionnera et la pluie et le soleil
dans tous les coins du monde.

1. Le Cid : Personnage Principal de la Tragi-comédie qui porte son nom de Pierre Corneille dont la première représentation eut lieu le 5 janvier 16372.
2. Achille et Hector sont les personnages les plus célèbres de L’Iliade d’Homère VIIIe siècle av. J.-C.
En mémoire du héro tunisien Mohammed Bouazizi
www.amazon.author/bonim007
Damaré M Nov 2016
That 1 lengthy and detailed conversation we had as I fixed her a hot bubble bath, it was very necessary to figure out the pattern in which each of our souls orbited around one another's life. Life. It seems that in the seams of this biographical regime, we get lost in between 2 wings, steering without a true tale, leading with our beaks instead of our two feet. Finding elation through impatience. Determination to fly without defining our own matrix. At that particular time I just wanted to slowly sit your soft body down into that pool of lavender scented steamed water, but everything you had to say nearly drowned me. The invisible crown I continuously placed on your head suddenly vanished as my imagination panicked. I always thought that my mind was backed up by my heart which was backed up by your art. Oh how gentle you scribble. I have to erase line by line, direction by direction, affection by affection, disconnect on top off disconnection. Difficulties I'm having while looking at you lather but no longer seeing you in the picture. Watching you lave as you give me your take on how our relationship was shaped was a bit unfitting. In my mind "it's inevitable that she's open for bidding". I'm lounged against the sink in a bind. Bonded by your fondness, then detached by your honest responses. How blunt you are and how drunk I'm soon to be. Wasted vibrations, my mouth began to tremble. Somehow I find an idea to cause the both of us to tickle. Temporary bliss. Moreover all of my hard efforts that night turned out to be the worst shift. I went from pleased to please. Expectedly you never tried to appease by appealing to my needs. Draining water like my decaying heart. Drying off reminds me of my suffocated feelings. Lotion as I drink this 40% potion. Hoping of hydrated coping. Can you leave? So I can shower, attempting to rinse away the most beautifully devastating hour.
Tandis qu'au **** des nuées,
Qui semblent des paradis,
Dans le bleu sont remuées,
Je t'écoute, et tu me dis :

« Quelle idée as-tu de l'homme,
« De croire qu'il aide Dieu ?
« L'homme est-il donc l'économe
« De l'eau, de l'air et du feu ?

« Est-ce que, dans son armoire,
« Tu l'aurais vu de tes yeux
« Serrer les rouleaux de moire
« Que l'aube déploie aux cieux ?

« Est-ce lui qui gonfle et ride
« La vague, et lui dit : Assez !
« Est-ce lui qui tient la bride
« Des éléments hérissés ?

« Sait-il le secret de l'herbe ?
« Parle-t-il au nid vivant ?
« Met-il sa note superbe
« Dans le noir clairon du vent ?

« La marée âpre et sonore
« Craint-elle son éperon ?
« Connaît-il le météore ?
« Comprend-il le moucheron ?

« L'homme aider Dieu ! lui, ce songe,
« Ce spectre en fuite et tremblant !
« Est-ce grâce à son éponge
« Que le cygne reste blanc ?

« Le fait veut, l'homme acquiesce.
« Je ne vois pas que sa main
« Découpe à l'emporte-pièce
« Les pétales du jasmin.

« Donne-t-il l'odeur aux sauges,
« Parce qu'il sait faire un trou
« Pour mêler le grès des Vosges
« Au salpêtre du Pérou ?

« Règle-t-il l'onde et la brise,
« Parce qu'il disséquera
« De l'argile qu'il a prise
« Près de Rio-Madera ?

« Ôte Dieu ; puis imagine,
« Essaie, invente ; épaissis
« L'idéal subtil d'Égine
« Par les dogmes d'Éleusis ;

« Soude Orphée à Lamettrie ;
« Joins, pour ne pas être à court,
« L'école d'Alexandrie
« À l'école d'Edimbourg ;

« Va du conclave au concile,
« D'Anaximandre à Destutt ;
« Dans quelque cuve fossile
« Exprime tout l'institut ;

« Démaillote la momie ;
« Presse Œdipe et Montyon ;
« Mets en pleine académie
« Le sphinx à la question ;

« Fouille le doute et la grâce ;
« Amalgame en ton guano
« À la Sybaris d'Horace
« Les Chartreux de saint Bruno ;

« Combine Genève et Rome ;
« Fais mettre par ton fermier
« Toutes les vertus de l'homme
« Dans une fosse à fumier ;

« Travaille avec patience
« En puisant au monde entier ;
« Prends pour pilon la science
« Et l'abîme pour mortier ;

« Va, forge ! je te défie
« De faire de ton savoir
« Et de ta philosophie
« Sortir un grain de blé noir !

« Dieu, de sa droite, étreint, fauche,
« Sème, et tout est rajeuni ;
« L'homme n'est qu'une main gauche
« Tâtonnant dans l'infini.

« Aux heures mystérieuses,
« Quand l'eau se change en miroir,
« Rôdes-tu sous les yeuses,
« L'esprit plongé dans le soir ?

« Te dis-tu : - Qu'est-ce que l'homme ? -
« Sonde, ami, sa nullité ;
« Cherche, de quel chiffre, en somme,
« Il accroît l'éternité !

« L'homme est vain. Pourquoi, poète,
« Ne pas le voir tel qu'il est,
« Dans le sépulcre squelette,
« Et sur la terre valet !

« L'homme est nu, stérile, blême,
« Plus frêle qu'un passereau ;
« C'est le puits du néant même
« Qui s'ouvre dans ce zéro.

« Va, Dieu crée et développe
« Un lion très réussi,
« Un bélier, une antilope,
« Sans le concours de Poissy.

« Il fait l'aile de la mouche
« Du doigt dont il façonna
« L'immense taureau farouche
« De la Sierra Morena ;

« Et dans l'herbe et la rosée
« Sa génisse au fier sabot
« Règne, et n'est point éclipsée
« Par la vache Sarlabot.

« Oui, la graine dans l'espace
« Vole à travers le brouillard,
« Et de toi le vent se passe,
« Semoir Jacquet-Robillard !

« Ce laboureur, la tempête,
« N'a pas, dans les gouffres noirs,
« Besoin que Grignon lui prête
« Sa charrue à trois versoirs.

« Germinal, dans l'atmosphère,  
« Soufflant sur les prés fleuris,  
« Sait encor mieux son affaire  
« Qu'un maraîcher de Paris.

« Quand Dieu veut teindre de flamme
« Le scarabée ou la fleur,
« Je ne vois point qu'il réclame
« La lampe de l'émailleur.

« L'homme peut se croire prêtre,
« L'homme peut se dire roi,
« Je lui laisse son peut-être,
« Mais je doute, quant à moi,

« Que Dieu, qui met mon image
« Au lac où je prends mon bain,
« Fasse faire l'étamage
« Des étangs, à Saint-Gobain.

« Quand Dieu pose sur l'eau sombre
« L'arc-en-ciel comme un siphon,
« Quand au tourbillon plein d'ombre
« Il attelle le typhon,

« Quand il maintient d'âge en âge
« L'hiver, l'été, mai vermeil,
« Janvier triste, et l'engrenage
« De l'astre autour du soleil,

« Quand les zodiaques roulent,
« Amarrés solidement,
« Sans que jamais elles croulent,
« Aux poutres du firmament,

« Quand tournent, rentrent et sortent
« Ces effrayants cabestans
« Dont les extrémités portent
« Le ciel, les saisons, le temps ;

« Pour combiner ces rouages
« Précis comme l'absolu,
« Pour que l'urne des nuages
« Bascule au moment voulu,

« Pour que la planète passe,
« Tel jour, au point indiqué,
« Pour que la mer ne s'amasse
« Que jusqu'à l'ourlet du quai,

« Pour que jamais la comète
« Ne rencontre un univers,
« Pour que l'essaim sur l'Hymète
« Trouve en juin les lys ouverts,

« Pour que jamais, quand approche
« L'heure obscure où l'azur luit,
« Une étoile ne s'accroche
« À quelque angle de la nuit,

« Pour que jamais les effluves
« Les forces, le gaz, l'aimant,
« Ne manquent aux vastes cuves
« De l'éternel mouvement,

« Pour régler ce jeu sublime,
« Cet équilibre béni,
« Ces balancements d'abîme,
« Ces écluses d'infini,

« Pour que, courbée ou grandie,
« L'oeuvre marche sans un pli,
« Je crois peu qu'il étudie
« La machine de Marly ! »

Ton ironie est amère,
Mais elle se trompe, ami.
Dieu compte avec l'éphémère,
Et s'appuie à la fourmi.

Dieu n'a rien fait d'inutile.
La terre, hymne où rien n'est vain,
Chante, et l'homme est le dactyle
De l'hexamètre divin.

L'homme et Dieu sont parallèles :
Dieu créant, l'homme inventant.
Dieu donne à l'homme ses ailes.
L'éternité fait l'instant.

L'homme est son auxiliaire
Pour le bien et la vertu.
L'arbre est Dieu, l'homme est le lierre ;
Dieu de l'homme s'est vêtu.

Dieu s'en sert, donc il s'en aide.
L'astre apparaît dans l'éclair ;
Zeus est dans Archimède,
Et Jéhovah dans Képler.

Jusqu'à ce que l'homme meure,
Il va toujours en avant.
Sa pensée a pour demeure
L'immense idéal vivant.

Dans tout génie il s'incarne ;
Le monde est sous son orteil ;
Et s'il n'a qu'une lucarne,
Il y pose le soleil.

Aux terreurs inabordable,
Coupant tous les fatals noeuds,
L'homme marche formidable,
Tranquille et vertigineux.

De limon il se fait lave,
Et colosse d'embryon ;
Epictète était esclave,
Molière était histrion,

Ésope était saltimbanque,
Qu'importe ! - il n'est arrêté
Que lorsque le pied lui manque
Au bord de l'éternité.

L'homme n'est pas autre chose
Que le prête-nom de Dieu.
Quoi qu'il fasse, il sent la cause
Impénétrable, au milieu.

Phidias cisèle Athènes ;
Michel-Ange est surhumain ;
Cyrus, Rhamsès, capitaines,
Ont une flamme à la main ;

Euclide trouve le mètre,
Le rythme sort d'Amphion ;
Jésus-Christ vient tout soumettre,
Même le glaive, au rayon ;

Brutus fait la délivrance ;
Platon fait la liberté ;
Jeanne d'Arc sacre la France
Avec sa virginité ;

Dans le bloc des erreurs noires
Voltaire ses coins ;
Luther brise les mâchoires
De Rome entre ses deux poings ;

Dante ouvre l'ombre et l'anime ;
Colomb fend l'océan bleu... -
C'est Dieu sous un pseudonyme,
C'est Dieu masqué, mais c'est Dieu.

L'homme est le fanal du monde.
Ce puissant esprit banni
Jette une lueur profonde
Jusqu'au seuil de l'infini.

Cent carrefours se partagent
Ce chercheur sans point d'appui ;
Tous les problèmes étagent
Leurs sombres voûtes sur lui.

Il dissipe les ténèbres ;
Il montre dans le lointain
Les promontoires funèbres
De l'abîme et du destin.

Il fait voir les vagues marches
Du sépulcre, et sa clarté
Blanchit les premières arches
Du pont de l'éternité.

Sous l'effrayante caverne
Il rayonne, et l'horreur fuit.
Quelqu'un tient cette lanterne ;
Mais elle t'éclaire, ô nuit !

Le progrès est en litige
Entre l'homme et Jéhovah ;
La greffe ajoute à la tige ;
Dieu cacha, l'homme trouva.

De quelque nom qu'on la nomme,
La science au vaste voeu
Occupe le pied de l'homme
À faire les pas de Dieu.

La mer tient l'homme et l'isole,
Et l'égare **** du port ;
Par le doigt de la boussole
Il se fait montrer le nord.

Dans sa morne casemate,
Penn rend ce damné meilleur ;
Jenner dit : Va-t-en, stigmate !
Jackson dit : Va-t-en, douleur !

Dieu fait l'épi, nous la gerbe ;
Il est grand, l'homme est fécond ;
Dieu créa le premier verbe
Et Gutenberg le second.

La pesanteur, la distance,
Contre l'homme aux luttes prêt,
Prononcent une sentence ;
Montgolfier casse l'arrêt.

Tous les anciens maux tenaces,
Hurlant sous le ciel profond,
Ne sont plus que des menaces
De fantômes qui s'en vont.

Le tonnerre au bruit difforme
Gronde... - on raille sans péril
La marionnette énorme
Que Franklin tient par un fil.

Nemrod était une bête
Chassant aux hommes, parmi
La démence et la tempête
De l'ancien monde ennemi.

Dracon était un cerbère
Qui grince encor sous le ciel
Avec trois têtes : Tibère,
Caïphe et Machiavel.

Nemrod s'appelait la Force,
Dracon s'appelait la Loi ;
On les sentait sous l'écorce
Du vieux prêtre et du vieux roi.

Tous deux sont morts. Plus de haines !
Oh ! ce fut un puissant bruit
Quand se rompirent les chaînes
Qui liaient l'homme à la nuit !

L'homme est l'appareil austère
Du progrès mystérieux ;
Dieu fait par l'homme sur terre
Ce qu'il fait par l'ange aux cieux.

Dieu sur tous les êtres pose
Son reflet prodigieux,
Créant le bien par la chose,
Créant par l'homme le mieux.

La nature était terrible,
Sans pitié, presque sans jour ;
L'homme la vanne en son crible,
Et n'y laisse que l'amour.

Toutes sortes de lois sombres
Semblaient sortir du destin ;
Le mal heurtait aux décombres
Le pied de l'homme incertain.

Pendant qu'à travers l'espace
Elle roule en hésitant ;
Un flot de ténèbres passe
Sur la terre à chaque instant ;

Mais des foyers y flamboient,
Tout s'éclaircit, on le sent,
Et déjà les anges voient
Ce noir globe blanchissant.

Sous l'urne des jours sans nombre
Depuis qu'il suit son chemin,
La décroissance de l'ombre
Vient des yeux du genre humain.

L'autel n'ose plus proscrire ;
La misère est morte enfin ;
Pain à tous ! on voit sourire
Les sombres dents de la faim.

L'erreur tombe ; on l'évacue ;
Les dogmes sont muselés ;
La guerre est une vaincue ;
Joie aux fleurs et paix aux blés !

L'ignorance est terrassée ;
Ce monstre, à demi dormant,
Avait la nuit pour pensée
Et pour voix le bégaiement.

Oui, voici qu'enfin recule
L'affreux groupe des fléaux !
L'homme est l'invincible hercule,
Le balayeur du chaos.

Sa massue est la justice,
Sa colère est la bonté.
Le ciel s'appuie au solstice
Et l'homme à sa volonté.

Il veut. Tout cède et tout plie.
Il construit quand il détruit ;
Et sa science est remplie
Des lumières de la nuit.

Il enchaîne les désastres,
Il tord la rébellion,
Il est sublime ; et les astres
Sont sur sa peau de lion.
ungdomspoet Mar 2016
jeg forstår egentlig ikke hvorfor
jeg har det på den her måde
og jeg er egentlig ikke sikker på om
jeg har ret til at føle hvad jeg føler
og det er faktisk noget der er svært
for mig at beskrive med ord
altså hvad jeg føler
men jeg må jo konkludere at
du giver mig åndedragsbesvær
og en lille smule kuldegysninger
fordi min forestilling om hvad
vi kunne have sammen
er så utrolig smuk at det
gør mig så ked af det at tænke
på at det eneste du så
var bare hvor smuk jeg er
og jeg følte at når jeg kiggede
på dig så jeg alt din skrøbelighed
og al din sødme
som afspejler sig i den måde dine
øjne smiler på
når jeg siger at jeg syntes også at
du er smuk
på en måde hvor andre drenge ikke
er smukke
men at du som menneske er interessant
af den grund at du er kompleks og
sød
og jeg har aldrig oplevet at blive behandlet
så godt som du behandlede mig
og jeg tror mine mindreværdskomplekser
måske er lidt anderledes end så mange
andre teenage piger
fordi jeg ikke er bange for at jeg ikke er smuk
nok eller lækker eller har en flot krop
for det ved jeg godt at jeg er
og jeg er heldig
men det er så overfladisk at det gør ondt
fordi jeg har så lave tanker
om netop de værdier som gør at jeg syntes
at du er smuk
og jeg er så bange for at der aldrig vil
være nogen der syntes at jeg har et smukt indre
jeg er så bange for ikke at være god nok som
menneske
og jeg føler mig så ofte som en skal, som ikke
er mere værd end det du ser udadtil
fordi det altid er det som drenge
tillægger en værdi hos mig
og jeg ville så gerne have at du kunne se
at jeg var så meget mere end ***
og at jeg har så meget mere at byde på
og jeg er så skrøbelig inden i
jeg har set så meget og skåret mig på
alt hvad jeg tør røre ved
føler inderst inde at jeg ikke er noget værd
jeg er bare ikke sådan en pige man forelsker sig i
fordi det kræver jo mere end blot et kønt ansigt
hvorfor er der aldrig nogen der fortæller mig
at jeg er sød eller at jeg er godt menneske
der var engang en der elskede mig
men han var for bange for den kærlighed vi
havde fordi den var så ægte og konkret
at han aldrig turde indrømme det
han sagde den gang at jeg var det bedste menneske
han kendte og jeg havde virkelig et stort hjerte
og jeg var så kærlig og sød
jeg tror også det er derfor jeg altid vil elske
ham et eller andet sted inden i mig
og han var smuk af de samme grunde du er smuk
men også fordi han var ødelagt og knust inden i
og det fik mig til at føle
jeg havde fundet min ligemand
men du er så glad og ser de smukke ting i livet
og det tror jeg gav mig lyst til at dele det liv
du fra dine øjne
jeg ville så uendelig gerne være en del af det
og leve lidt i din radius hvor
livet er en dans på roser og du nyder bare
øl og gymnasie fester
venner og veninder
og kærlighed virkede ikke til at være en skræmmende
ting for dig
indtil du mødte mig
og det gik op for dig hvor destruktivt det kan være
følelsen af at have noget at miste
det var det sidste jeg ville have dig til at føle
men jeg kan næsten ikke styre mig selv
for det eneste jeg har lyst til er at skrive til dig
hvorfor vil du ikke give mig en chance
for at vise dig at der gemmer sig roser i mit sind
bag de røde læber og det lange bølgede hår (som du er så vild med)
og vise dig at den krop du rørte og hviskede i øret at den
var så fandens lækker
gemmer på en person som du rørte meget mere
med dine fine ord
og din person
men sandheden er jo bare at du er ligeglad med mig
at jeg blot bliver gjort til en ting igen
som du kan samle på og objektivisere
og indramme og hænge op på din væg af
trofæer
og dér kan jeg så pynte
men jeg længes efter så meget mere
jeg vil ikke blot hænge der
jeg vil røre din konkrete krop
og dit udefinerbare sind
og bare elske
noget om mit syn på mig selv og mænd(drenge) i mit liv
Sy Roth Feb 2015
The Quiet of a Pickwickian World
By Sy Roth

In the silence of my Pickwickian world,
A transcendent quiet stands vigil.
Left to its own devices it rattles around, a
lonely brown-suited courier,
Hefting weighty cargo from one sooty corner to the next.

Seeks tranquility in a world where,
Fettered by golden reins
Hobbled by unceremonial chain mail
Lanced by coronets of thorns,
Astride, a long-in-the-tooth steed
Spurred on to wrestle shredded windmills,
A cavil of unrepentant correctors rest.

And they still come--
Tidal waves of disturbances,
Tsunamis that rip ashore and sweep all away
Into a loathsome pile,
Bilious flotsam of a generation bereft of empathy.


A forced silence clings to the dusty rafters
Where sages once stood
Hanging like KKK castoffs
In a closeted Jim Crow attic of rules and regulations gone mad.

A quiescent quiet demands quiet.
Nestles behind muffled screams
Of ages of piles of rotting flesh.

Dolorous vision of a peaceful world
Where peace packed for a long vacation
To Edens that exist only in fairy tales.
Bring with them untruths of understanding
Swaddled in ******, soiled bedclothes.

Leave me to my silence,
Lave me of the Ash Wednesday smudge
Where realities come home to roost in the dim corners
Where the highwaymen have no access.
À François Coppée.



Ô senteur suave et modeste
Qu'épanchait le front maternel,
Et dont le souvenir nous reste
Comme un lointain parfum d'autel,

Pure émanation divine
Qui mêlait en moi ta douceur
À la petite senteur fine
Des longues tresses d'une sœur,

Chère odeur, tu t'en es allée
Où sont les parfums de jadis,
Où remonte l'âme exhalée
Des violettes et des lis.



Ô fraîche senteur de la vie
Qu'au temps des premières amours
Un baiser candide a ravie
Au plus délicat des velours,

**** des lèvres décolorées
Tu t'es enfuie aussi là-bas,
Jusqu'où planent, évaporées,
Les jeunesses des vieux lilas,

Et le cœur, cloué dans l'abîme,
Ne peut suivre, à ta trace uni,
Le voyage épars et sublime
Que tu poursuis dans l'infini.

*

Mais ô toi, l'homicide arome
Dont en pleurant nous nous grisons,
Où notre cœur cherchait un baume
Et n'aspira que des poisons,

Ah ! Toi seule, odeur trop aimée  
Des cheveux trop noirs et trop lourds,
Tu nous laisses, courte fumée,
Des vestiges brûlant toujours.

Dans les replis où tu te glisses
Tu déposes un marc fatal,
Comme l'âcre odeur des épices
S'incruste aux coins d'un vieux cristal.

* * *

En tel, dans une eau fraîche et claire,
Le flacon, vainement plongé,
Garde l'âcreté séculaire
De l'essence qui l'a rongé,

Tel, dans la tendresse embaumante
Que verse au cœur, pour l'assainir,
Une fidèle et chaste amante,
Sévit encor ton souvenir.

Ô parfum modeste et suave,
Épanché du front maternel,
Qui lave ce que rien ne lave,
Où donc es-tu, parfum d'autel ?
raen Aug 2011
Will you be loving me ‘til time is naught?
Your fingers only know of suppleness,
will they not flinch to touch skin wrinkle-fraught?
My beauty withers, cup reached emptiness…

Your love has set my heart aglow, renewed
‘tis ev’rytime your words lave over me...
Like soothing rain on desert sand subdued,
I soak it in, drunk for eternity

Do forgive me, for ever doubting you,
this pain has ravaged me, yet you’re still here.
‘Tis I you love, this I now know so true,
please stay with me, for death creeps in so near

Let saccharine lips meet for one last time
The windows close now, yet leave love sublime
J'ai de la pluie dans les yeux
Et de l'eau sur le Coeur
Je n'ai pas vu la sécheresse depuis que tu es entré dans ma vie
Ni le soleil caché derrière des nuages de problèmes
Des torrents de colère cascades de nos paroles
Et nos conversations ne sont que des explosions de lave
Elles coulent du volcan de notre exaspération
Et brûlent tout sur leur passage
Le doux lac de notre amour s'assèche
Et la mer s'agite chaque instant un peu plus
Mais la terre n'a plus de contrôle
Et ne tremble plus sous l'effort de l'intimidation
La pluie se transforme en brume
Et doucement le voile de la peine se lève
Pour peindre un jour plus clément.

J'ai de la pluie dans les yeux
Et de l'eau sur le Coeur
Mais je vois à travers les larmes un jour nouveau
Une vie nouvelle
Un commencement
Le début d'un jour ensoleillé
Ou je plisserais les yeux
Enfin
Pour voir un sourire sur ton visage
Et te regarder le peindre sur le mien.
Naja Dec 2015
Du sidder ligeså stille
Uden at sige noget
Dit hjerte banker i en stille rytme
Uden at larme selvfølgelig.
Du snakker med dig selv
Men kan ikke tale
Du vil ikke andet
Og du kan ikke høre dig selv
Hænder urolige og krummende
Dit hoved altid summende
Du må hellere smile
Så du ikke bliver set
Set igennem
Opdaget og afsløret
Sig frem
Jeg ved du kan
Ikke andet du vil

Du er ikke så tydelig som du tror
På den gode måde selvfølgelig.
Alle venter men ingenting sker
Der sker ingenting
Du smiler og griner
Det hele er okay
Hvorfor vil du ikke med?
Der sker ingenting
Du er i sikkerhed her
Jeg ville ønske du var mig
Hvis du var mig
Og jeg var dig
Muligheden for at kigge
For at skue og blinke til
Du ville se
Ville kunne se mig
Som faktisk er dig
Hvor eksisterende du er
Hvor værende du er
Du ved ingenting
Jeg ved det hele.

Du ser hen på dem
Den derovre ved siden af selvfølgelig.
Altid glade
Altid på toppen
Uden at vise tegn på
Lave tegn til FARE
Det er bare en væg selvfølgelig
Det er det man siger
Jeg så dig en dag
Faktisk i dag
Du var glad
Du smilte så man kunne
Ja man kunne faktisk se dine tænder
De var hvide selvfølgelig
Du gør hvad der bliver sagt
Hvad der bliver fortalt
Ligesom tandlægen altid sagde
Rundt i cirkler
Altid mere end en gang
Helst mere en fire
Der var nogle
Hvem var de?
Der var ingen fare selvfølgelig.
Det er klart
Man kan hvad man vil sagde du

Man vælger det man føler
Man vælger hvad man tror
At man fortjener
Ikke alle fortjener det her
Det skal nok gå
Det var det du sagde
Det fortalte du mig engang
Nej faktisk hver dag
Hver eneste dag
Hver gang jeg tvivlede
Det var *** selvfølgelig
Alt på højkant
Uden at det talte
Uden at nogen holdte regnskab
Som et bassin fyldt til kanten
En dag vil vandet løbe ud
Ud over kanterne
Det var alligevel ikke så stort
Vandet vil ikke blive tørret væk
Det vil tørre selvfølgelig
Det vil forsvinde

Jeg så dig være glad en dag
Nej faktisk i dag
Det gjorde mig glad selvfølgelig
Jeg så dig være ked
En lille smule ked
Af det, af hvad?
Det er okay sagde du
Det bliver det nødt til at være.
Evans Sep 2017
Gulls, gannets brooding
vying for plankton
Acrobatic flights, flappings
Swarm the blue
Chirping, tweeting another
To lave the silvery sea.

Impishly unclad moppets
Running and frolicking,
Some helping their
Fishermen father untwine nets
The evening venture their chaste aim.

Over the horizon
Is the Yellow Face
Lustring like a
Gigantique Bohemian Chandelier
Lapping on the repose waters.


Someday when am ripe and mellow
With means to own a crew
I will sail up that mulky horizon
And touch that glowing cosmic disc.

But mater says
"The horizon doesn't end"
"It goes in league miles"
"Even when a yore mile is sailed"
"It's unattainable, puerile and trifling" She'd opine.

Only these chiding words of hers
I never take for a dime,
I will engage in my venture
I will stand to be corrected.

This is my only demure dream
I will endeavour and suckle her
I wouldn't want an elegiac ending
In this beach I've known for eon.
A piece for anybody who holds dream of sailing the world over.
Apago el cigarro
Y enciendo otra botella,
Los pensamientos
Vienen en olas cansadas,
Mar sin fondo
Cielo sin tapón,
Las nubes distraídas
Me pintan imágenes
Que me persiguen
Como sábanas en la lavadora
Vuelta y vuelta
Ciclo interminable,
Pero no importa
Cuanto lave,
La grama sigue
Manchando
Verde como jade
Creciendo
Entre las fisuras
De las piedras
Imposible de matar
Con simples químicos,
Solo la muerte
Esperará
Ver el fin
De esta mente
Atado a un corazón
Con un lazo
Torturado
De amor...
APAD13 019 - © okpoet
I put out the cigarette
And light up another bottle,
The thoughts
Come on lazy waves,
Bottomless ocean
Sky without a plug,
The clouds distracted
Paint me images
That pursue me
Like sheets in the washer
Round and round
Interminable cycle,
But it doesn't matter
How much I wash,
The grass continues
Staining
Green like jade
Growing
Between the crevices
Of the rocks
Impossible to ****
With simple chemicals,
Only death itself
Will wait
To see the end
To this mind
Attached to a heart
With a rope
Tortured
With love…
© okpoet
Ottar Apr 2014
Colonies more like,
little islands, of freedom,
to express, you.

Not Polynesian,
get aways, not tropical
until, hot August nights.

Rolling in like waves,
     make me crave,
gritty sandy lave.
TinyATuin Feb 2016
Our hearts are locked inside a ribbon cage
fluttering in silky chains
bleeding out in silent rage
spelling swears out in red stains

And right on cue the scissor-lady comes
to the rounds of applause and rolls of drums
snapping blades and leaving scars
cutting  ‘way the ribbon bars


She wears a belt of stolen rings
cut of the fingers of the old
long forgotten crownless kings
tarnish gold selling the truth retold

And right on cue the scissor-lady comes
to the rounds of applause and rolls of drums
snapping blades and leaving scars
cutting  ‘way the ribbon bars


Beware of the queen of hearts
dashing in next lave affair

*
And right on cue the scissor-lady comes
to the rounds of applause and rolls of drums
snapping blades and leaving stains
cutting  ‘way the pulsing veins
Un hydrolat lacrymal lave
Les cieux vert-chou
Sous l'arbre tendronnier qui bave,
Vos caoutchoucs

Blancs de lunes particulières
Aux pialats ronds,
Entrechoquez vos genouillères,
Mes laiderons !

Nous nous aimions à cette époque,
Bleu laideron !
On mangeait des oeufs à la coque
Et du mouron !

Un soir, tu me sacras poète,
Blond laideron :
Descends ici, que je te fouette
En mon giron ;

J'ai dégueulé ta bandoline,
Noir laideron ;
Tu couperais ma mandoline
Au fil du front.

Pouah ! mes salives desséchées,
Roux laideron,
Infectent encor les tranchées
De ton sein rond !

Ô mes petites amoureuses,
Que je vous hais !
Plaquez de fouffes douloureuses
Vos tétons laids !

Piétinez mes vieilles terrines
De sentiment ;
- Hop donc ! soyez-moi ballerines
Pour un moment !...

Vos omoplates se déboîtent,
Ô mes amours !
Une étoile à vos reins qui boitent
Tournez vos tours !

Et c'est pourtant pour ces éclanches
Que j'ai rimé !
Je voudrais vous casser les hanches
D'avoir aimé !

Fade amas d'étoiles ratées,
Comblez les coins !
- Vous crèverez en Dieu, bâtées
D'ignobles soins !

Sous les lunes particulières
Aux pialats ronds,
Entrechoquez vos genouillères,
Mes laiderons !
Marolle Aug 2015
Jeg ofre mig hele tiden
jeg giver mig selv til folk
som kun giver halvt tilbage
Kan du tage min arbejdsvagt? Ja
Vil du med i byen og 2 dage i streg? Ja
Vil du besøge mig og så spiser vi sammen? Ja
Din flis-jakke er hæslig, skal jeg lave en ny? Ja
Denne konstante cirkel
af ting jeg skal, gøre og nå
den gør mig sindssyg
Jeg vil hellere ligge i min seng  
føle spændingerne forlade min krop
og mærke hvor øm den egentlig er
af at jeg har glemt at lytte til mig selv
Jeg vil hellere se på skyer
eller bare på himlen
om den er lyserød, med skyer på eller blå
Jeg vil hellere trække vejret dybt
helt ned i lungerne, helt ned i maven
og mærke den friske luft inde i mig
Tankerne i mit hoved danser disco
og jeg er ikke selv inviteret
men det er ikke som at gå i byen
ikke som 2-dage-i-streg-bytur  
mere som en konstant orkan
hvor mit ydre er orkanens rolige øje
for hvordan kan du være så rolig, Maria?
Jeg ved det ikke
Jo det ved jeg
Har ikke haft tid til at tænke over det
fordi der er en ny ofring at bringe
Ingen tid til eftertanke
eller fortanke
Før jeg ved af det er cirklen startet igen
Forfra eller bagfra
Det er det med cirkler
lige meget hvor den starter
så vil den nå hele vejen rundt
Ingen tid til eftertanke

*(Marolle)

— The End —