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"lancaster" poems
Nan, being slightly Victorian and very old would decant a bottle of Mackeson into a teapot and pretend to us children that she was having her daily cuppa. We knew though, could smell the sweetness of the alcohol even through the odours of Number 3 ***** and macassar oil which seemed to be an integral part of Nan and her Lodge street home.
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Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 5:13 AM UTC
More notes on Lancaster memories
that night, i wore a polo shirt. i thought *hey, i'm going to a friend's dorm, no need to dress up, right?* so i wore a polo shirt, a yellow and blue and pink thing. i'd bought it from a charity shop only weeks earlier, when i was still exploring a new university town and finding not-so-hidden gems; and sure, it was three sizes too big but it was comfortable, and made me feel safe. turns out, you didn't care about polo shirts or tank tops. you cared about what was underneath and i was drunk enough to let you - or, well, not really let you, but i didn't need to dress up so i wore baggy clothes and a smile so i had half a bottle of jack daniels and i had a nineteen year old point to prove and i had a pill that you gave me and i had - sorry, have - a therapist's bill. but this isn't about you. i don't write about you. i make a point of not writing about you, actually. which is to say that i write about you in a way that doesn't let you hurt me anymore. i write about what i was wearing (did i deserve it? in my 1970s male t-shirt?) or what i was drinking (it was university) or how i tried to throw myself into a river in the aftermath (but i didn't, because i got thirsty, and i didn't want to die thirsty, so i went home). no, i'm writing about the polo shirt i was wearing. cotton, i think. polyester, probably. the amazing technicolour haze of am i sober enough for this? who knows how many iterations of the same lancaster charity shop it circled through, old men with families and wives and kids - it probably saw birthdays and christmases and, safely tucked in the back of a closet, shielded itself from the almost-crisis of cuban missiles. and then, me. a nineteen year old branching out into the world for the first time; a lover of poetry, maker of music, naïve and beautiful. then, it was just a polo shirt, and i wore it as long as it was laundered, for a month or so, until december. not that i stopped wearing it because it was cold. it just reminded me of hands and hands and hands and **** how many hands can a man have? how long will i have to feel them? i didn't shower the day after, just slept. a hangover, right? just a hangover. and then, when the hot water in my dorm daily ticked on, i washed every inch of myself to get rid of you, and your foam banana shower gel that your mother probably told you to buy. so, what compensation do you owe me? what price should i put on things? you touch it, so you pay for it. one charity shop shirt, three pounds please.
0
Jan 26, 2022
Jan 26, 2022 at 10:55 PM UTC
polo shirt curse
that night, i wore a polo shirt. i thought *hey, i'm going to a friend's dorm, no need to dress up, right?* so i wore a polo shirt, a yellow and blue and pink thing. i'd bought it from a charity shop only weeks earlier, when i was still exploring a new university town and finding not-so-hidden gems; and sure, it was three sizes too big but it was comfortable, and made me feel safe. turns out, you didn't care about polo shirts or tank tops. you cared about what was underneath and i was drunk enough to let you - or, well, not really let you, but i didn't need to dress up so i wore baggy clothes and a smile so i had half a bottle of jack daniels and i had a nineteen year old point to prove and i had a pill that you gave me and i had - sorry, have - a therapist's bill. but this isn't about you. i don't write about you. i make a point of not writing about you, actually. which is to say that i write about you in a way that doesn't let you hurt me anymore. i write about what i was wearing (did i deserve it? in my 1970s male t-shirt?) or what i was drinking (it was university) or how i tried to throw myself into a river in the aftermath (but i didn't, because i got thirsty, and i didn't want to die thirsty, so i went home). no, i'm writing about the polo shirt i was wearing. cotton, i think. polyester, probably. the amazing technicolour haze of am i sober enough for this? who knows how many iterations of the same lancaster charity shop it circled through, old men with families and wives and kids - it probably saw birthdays and christmases and, safely tucked in the back of a closet, shielded itself from the almost-crisis of cuban missiles. and then, me. a nineteen year old branching out into the world for the first time; a lover of poetry, maker of music, naïve and beautiful. then, it was just a polo shirt, and i wore it as long as it was laundered, for a month or so, until december. not that i stopped wearing it because it was cold. it just reminded me of hands and hands and hands and **** how many hands can a man have? how long will i have to feel them? i didn't shower the day after, just slept. a hangover, right? just a hangover. and then, when the hot water in my dorm daily ticked on, i washed every inch of myself to get rid of you, and your foam banana shower gel that your mother probably told you to buy. so, what compensation do you owe me? what price should i put on things? you touch it, so you pay for it. one charity shop shirt, three pounds please.
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61
If only you could see I am like a mimosa tree My branches you can climb My leaves will give you shade When my spring arrives My flowers you can see The aroma is only for you In the night My leaves close It is how I hold you within my arms In this way I exhale And you receive the oxygen For it enriches your blood And your heart becomes happy for it Dig into my roots They are dug into the soil of our togetherness Feel the richness Smell the earth Look upward towards the sky As the light of happiness Filters through If only you could see I am more than just a tree -- Wade Lancaster
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Aug 15, 2015
Aug 15, 2015 at 10:50 PM UTC
I am like a mimosa tree
The party starts at ten to three. On the second floor,room twenty two two vicars who had come down from Crewe were wondering just what to wear, to the shindig going on down there. They collided,both decided to put on crimson frilly frocks,this was not a 'do' for cassocks or for smocks. Room forty four up on the forth,was Lucy Ann,a double barrelled name of course,a horsey type who came by invite to liven lively up the night. In number ten slept teacup Ken,who had never once imbibed,the porter was slipped a twenty,but was bribed to keep his big mouth shut, as ties were cut and Ken found Zen in a brandy glass, and discovered parties were a gas. The police arrived to room fifty five and found Miss Sterling doing the jive around the severed head of Fred the cook, poor Fred never had any kind luck. There is no escape from the party at Lancaster Gate and those who come are those who'll die but the party is so flamin' good I'll try to sneak in,got to take a peek in room number twenty seven,where it's said,that the lady there can show you several kinds of heaven before you meet your doom. Got to get in, get a room,check in time expires at noon. I shall no doubt expire,naked by the fire in room, one o one.
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Jul 26, 2013
Jul 26, 2013 at 4:44 PM UTC
Fiesta
On Bosworth field the die was cast As banners flapped and arrows flew The King of England breathed his last A new one crowned before the day was through Spewing lead the canons roared Armour glinting in the light When Henry's banner Richard saw He led his men into the fight The standard bearer he cut down Then ten feet from his foe it's said His horse got mired in boggy ground So failed the charge that he had led As Henry's men surrounded him Richard stood his ground and said I shall not flee, I'll die a King England's crown upon my head For the House of York the cause had failed His skull was smashed, the deed was done The House of Lancaster prevailed On Bosworth field the war was lost and won
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Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 7:55 AM UTC
On Bosworth field
Men of the Twenty-first Up by the Chalk Pit Wood, Weak with our wounds and our thirst, Wanting our sleep and our food, After a day and a night -- God, shall we ever forget! Beaten and broke in the fight, But sticking it -- sticking it yet. Trying to hold the line, Fainting and spent and done, Always the thud and the whine, Always the yell of the *** Northumerland, Lancaster, York, Durham and Somerset, Fighting alone, worn to the bone, But sticking it -- sticking it yet. Never a message of hope! Never a word of cheer! Fronting Hill 70's shell-swept slope, With the dull dead plain in our rear. Always the whine of the shell, Always the roar of its burst, Always the tortures of hell, As waiting and wincing we cursed Our luck and the guns and the Boche, When our Corporal shouted, "Stand to!" And I heard some one cry, "Clear the front for the Guards!" And the Guards came through. Our throats they were parched and hot, But Lord, if you'd heard the cheers! Irish and Welsh and Scot, Coldstream and Grenadiers. Two brigades, if you please, Dressing as straight as a hem, We -- we were down on our knees, Praying for us and for them! Lord, I could speak for a week, But how could you understand! How should your cheeks be wet, Such feelin's don't come to you. But when can me or my mates forget, When the Guards came through? "Five yards left extend!" It passed from rank to rank. Line after line with never a bend, And a touch of the London swank. A trifle of swank and dash, Cool as a home parade, Twinkle and glitter and flash, Flinching never a shade, With the shrapnel right in their face Doing their Hyde Park stunt, Keeping their swing at an easy pace, Arms at the trail, eyes front! Man, it was great to see! Man, it was fine to do! It's a cot and a hospital ward for me, But I'll tell'em in Blighty, whereever I be, How the Guards came through.
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3.1k
The Guards Came Through
Men of the Twenty-first Up by the Chalk Pit Wood, Weak with our wounds and our thirst, Wanting our sleep and our food, After a day and a night -- God, shall we ever forget! Beaten and broke in the fight, But sticking it -- sticking it yet. Trying to hold the line, Fainting and spent and done, Always the thud and the whine, Always the yell of the *** Northumerland, Lancaster, York, Durham and Somerset, Fighting alone, worn to the bone, But sticking it -- sticking it yet. Never a message of hope! Never a word of cheer! Fronting Hill 70's shell-swept slope, With the dull dead plain in our rear. Always the whine of the shell, Always the roar of its burst, Always the tortures of hell, As waiting and wincing we cursed Our luck and the guns and the Boche, When our Corporal shouted, "Stand to!" And I heard some one cry, "Clear the front for the Guards!" And the Guards came through. Our throats they were parched and hot, But Lord, if you'd heard the cheers! Irish and Welsh and Scot, Coldstream and Grenadiers. Two brigades, if you please, Dressing as straight as a hem, We -- we were down on our knees, Praying for us and for them! Lord, I could speak for a week, But how could you understand! How should your cheeks be wet, Such feelin's don't come to you. But when can me or my mates forget, When the Guards came through? "Five yards left extend!" It passed from rank to rank. Line after line with never a bend, And a touch of the London swank. A trifle of swank and dash, Cool as a home parade, Twinkle and glitter and flash, Flinching never a shade, With the shrapnel right in their face Doing their Hyde Park stunt, Keeping their swing at an easy pace, Arms at the trail, eyes front! Man, it was great to see! Man, it was fine to do! It's a cot and a hospital ward for me, But I'll tell'em in Blighty, whereever I be, How the Guards came through.
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59
I dont know how to say goodbye to a man I never knew. Clifton. Tail gunner ,Lancaster bomber. 1942. I tried to write his story but I came up short. Black man fighting to free the world in his Majesty's air corps. 1944 A man who answered the call. One of many. One of a kind. A man from the colonies..Belizean.. Family man, father, patriot. Has fired his last round. R.I.P.
0
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 1:28 AM UTC
Tail Gunner
lonely chord tired guitar play soul numb as callous fingers heart hollow as sea rusted string flat wrought steel, peeled off tire fire face melted fleeting garish glimpse of starch shirt 60s itchy lice life like gene spliced flight patterns bioengineered space age Han Solo with (hold) full o'Spice Synthetic Cannabinoids sprayed on Marshmallow leaf ruin life Chewie grab the bowcaster, ill grab the glock foe blaster Smash, mash and crashed'er like Britons of Lancaster
0
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 3:04 AM UTC
dead strings detuned to e flat
*England 1942 The war was endless she thought it would be over in six weeks when it was declared. now three years later she found herself in this airfield crowded with young fighter pilots flying Spitfires and the bomber crews flying the stalwart Lancaster bombers. She was twenty eight now getting to that age of being called a spinster of the parish. The young airmen were interested in her but really only for one thing. She worked in the photography department of the RAF and developed pictures taken by the recon airmen of France and Germany and Holland . Recently an American had joined her in the darkroom. He was a big man and had a crooked smile and big hands he lay on the belly of the bomber plane taking pictures he laughed and said he never fired a gun in his life. And that he had no beef with Germans he just fired his camera at them. He liked to develop his own pictures and they worked alongside each other in the darkroom all though the war. She got used to his crooked smile and big hands. He got used to her being there. The war finally ended and he went back to the States. Where he opened a small photography store and built a darkroom with his own hands. When it was finished he returned to England on a ***** steamer to save money. He knocked on the ladies door that had worked with him in the darkroom. She answered and he asked her for her hand in marraige. She accepted his proposal and they sailed back to new York. When she explored the photography shop she found the darkroom. On it was pinned a note in his nice neat handwriting. It said I fell in love with you in the dark my love. But I want you spend the rest of of your life following the light with me. She was to be my grandma and he was my grandfather. My father was born a year later he had a crooked smile and big hands with a love of photography. His specaility light and shadow. I was born much later and did not share the family love of photography and was let off by God with only a crooked smile no big hands. Instead I used to get into trouble at school for writing poems in the margins of my exercise books. Grandma passed away a little while ago i was given the task of clearing her personal items from the house. In her memory box I found the note in Grandfathers hand that he pinned on the door of his darkroom so long ago. It moved me to write this story. So Go follow the light Grandma Look for a big man with a crooked smile and big hands Hes waiting for you.*
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Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 4:51 PM UTC
The Lady In The Darkroom---- --a love story
*England 1942 The war was endless she thought it would be over in six weeks when it was declared. now three years later she found herself in this airfield crowded with young fighter pilots flying Spitfires and the bomber crews flying the stalwart Lancaster bombers. She was twenty eight now getting to that age of being called a spinster of the parish. The young airmen were interested in her but really only for one thing. She worked in the photography department of the RAF and developed pictures taken by the recon airmen of France and Germany and Holland . Recently an American had joined her in the darkroom. He was a big man and had a crooked smile and big hands he lay on the belly of the bomber plane taking pictures he laughed and said he never fired a gun in his life. And that he had no beef with Germans he just fired his camera at them. He liked to develop his own pictures and they worked alongside each other in the darkroom all though the war. She got used to his crooked smile and big hands. He got used to her being there. The war finally ended and he went back to the States. Where he opened a small photography store and built a darkroom with his own hands. When it was finished he returned to England on a ***** steamer to save money. He knocked on the ladies door that had worked with him in the darkroom. She answered and he asked her for her hand in marraige. She accepted his proposal and they sailed back to new York. When she explored the photography shop she found the darkroom. On it was pinned a note in his nice neat handwriting. It said I fell in love with you in the dark my love. But I want you spend the rest of of your life following the light with me. She was to be my grandma and he was my grandfather. My father was born a year later he had a crooked smile and big hands with a love of photography. His specaility light and shadow. I was born much later and did not share the family love of photography and was let off by God with only a crooked smile no big hands. Instead I used to get into trouble at school for writing poems in the margins of my exercise books. Grandma passed away a little while ago i was given the task of clearing her personal items from the house. In her memory box I found the note in Grandfathers hand that he pinned on the door of his darkroom so long ago. It moved me to write this story. So Go follow the light Grandma Look for a big man with a crooked smile and big hands Hes waiting for you.*
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34
. I survived Cameron and his band of hatchet men remember when Thatcher took the axe to school milk? but you ******* voted her in as smooth as silk but we see her now as the sows ear she was. I won't vote for Corbyn he never went and yet he's already a has been, never seen that before excepting Jeremy and they named a park after him. Thorpe. Once when I drew a breath in Toxteth and the carnival was the riot I got a bit but that's censored. Anyway in Lancaster it's raining although it was cool down in Blackpool with the Duchess and only a slight breeze and a sneeze or two passing by Blackpool zoo. Goodnight y'all don't fall asleep before you've said your prayers.
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Aug 3, 2016
Aug 3, 2016 at 4:45 PM UTC
West of Halifax
The whole thing smells like chlorine, which is extremely unsettling because chlorine always tastes green and a lot like hereditary paranoia. These pants were only two washes removed from brand new, and now there's a slit in the knee, a slit as precise as the shape my eyes make when I'm suspicious of wanderlusting newcomers who moonlight in my former prison cell. And I'm unsure if I should call it like I'd like it to be and say the **** things were defective or if I should investigate further as to where I placed my legs while hacking bits of plastic. I'm TIRED of hacking at bits of plastic. I daresay if things start looking up, I could get there. I'm desperate, while this pumpkin-leaf hole grows in my chest, I'm realizing I'll never get to Lancaster at this rate. Sure, sure, I'm obsessed. I also have a blonde tail hanging from a tack on my shelf and a lot of cards tacked to my wall. They either resemble a quilt, a window or a complete mess. I'm relying on plastic cups and the Internet to continuously foster this false sense of belonging. And I don't want to shatter it, but I'm terrified by the threat of a midterm and I feel trapped by my own sky. I mean, have you SEEN the prices for quaint bed and breakfasts? But the sad truth is, I would be haunted by insurmountable guilt at leaving her behind. The cash flow isn't flowing, either. I'm thinking I'll have to forget about it and sit at my shiny laptop on an empty desk, staring at the cottage cheese ceiling and wondering if God is looking back.
0
Jul 11, 2016
Jul 11, 2016 at 10:17 PM UTC
Chlorine (Freewrite)
The whole thing smells like chlorine, which is extremely unsettling because chlorine always tastes green and a lot like hereditary paranoia. These pants were only two washes removed from brand new, and now there's a slit in the knee, a slit as precise as the shape my eyes make when I'm suspicious of wanderlusting newcomers who moonlight in my former prison cell. And I'm unsure if I should call it like I'd like it to be and say the **** things were defective or if I should investigate further as to where I placed my legs while hacking bits of plastic. I'm TIRED of hacking at bits of plastic. I daresay if things start looking up, I could get there. I'm desperate, while this pumpkin-leaf hole grows in my chest, I'm realizing I'll never get to Lancaster at this rate. Sure, sure, I'm obsessed. I also have a blonde tail hanging from a tack on my shelf and a lot of cards tacked to my wall. They either resemble a quilt, a window or a complete mess. I'm relying on plastic cups and the Internet to continuously foster this false sense of belonging. And I don't want to shatter it, but I'm terrified by the threat of a midterm and I feel trapped by my own sky. I mean, have you SEEN the prices for quaint bed and breakfasts? But the sad truth is, I would be haunted by insurmountable guilt at leaving her behind. The cash flow isn't flowing, either. I'm thinking I'll have to forget about it and sit at my shiny laptop on an empty desk, staring at the cottage cheese ceiling and wondering if God is looking back.
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3
You are the sun. I am just constellations, so close yet too far to feel your warmth. You are bright and beautiful. I get boring after watching for a while, just there, lost within the darkness. I can’t help but think about you, every moment possible – not in a weird, ****** way – but thoughts of your thumb caressing mine as our fingers interlock; of your tiresome voice at 3am, when you’re slurring your words and your eyelids become heavy. The passion and excitement in your voice as you speak of music and literature. The way your warm arms wrap around my skinny body when I tremble as the cold air blows against my skin, all of that is just amazing to me. You aren’t just average, a generation of the human race, nor are you just a son or a friend. You are a beautiful masterpiece crafted by the hands of God Himself, He is Michelangelo and you are David; you are the most beautiful and perfect combination of atoms, you are my Mona Lisa, my art. The sparkle in your eyes when you speak of life and the meaning to it says it all. I fall into oblivion each time I just imagine your skin against mine; not in a ****** way, but in a sweet and caring way. I love the way you say my name and look into my eyes, as if analyzing my soul, figuring me out. That usually makes me feel uncomfortable, but it’s you… and that makes the difference, the fact that it’s you thinking why I say each and every word I say when I say it. You are Augustus Waters (without the cancer) and I am Hazel Grace Lancaster (without cancer and not as beautiful). You are ambitious and amusing, whilst I am a cautious bookworm. My room is full of unread books and loose sheets of paper with what seem to be meaningless words scribbled all over. Your room is possibly filled with guitars and old records of your favorite bands and artists from the ‘80’s and ‘90’s and old trophies you now find meaningless. But I want to know more about you. Even if I could know every possible thing there is to know about you, I will keep observing and I will keep spilling my heart to you, and listening when I have to. I want to know the passion in your voice when you read your favorite book, quote, poem, or even word. I want to know your thoughts at 5am when your eyelids feel like heavyweights. I want to experience seeing you laugh hysterically to the point where your rib cage hurts and you cry from the laughter; when you’ve reached your breaking point and you’re curled up, or on the floor, crying until your heart literally hurts and your chest is looking for release; I want to experience it all, I want to know you and not just a part of you. I want to know all of you. The way you fall asleep, how you are the moment you wake up and how you react when you had a nightmare. The human mind is so beautiful, and out of all minds I could observe, I chose you – not just the mind, but you. What makes your heart race, what gives you goose bumps, everything. You’re my observation and I enjoy it.
0
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 16, 2015 at 11:13 PM UTC
we are Eleanor & Park
You are the sun. I am just constellations, so close yet too far to feel your warmth. You are bright and beautiful. I get boring after watching for a while, just there, lost within the darkness. I can’t help but think about you, every moment possible – not in a weird, ****** way – but thoughts of your thumb caressing mine as our fingers interlock; of your tiresome voice at 3am, when you’re slurring your words and your eyelids become heavy. The passion and excitement in your voice as you speak of music and literature. The way your warm arms wrap around my skinny body when I tremble as the cold air blows against my skin, all of that is just amazing to me. You aren’t just average, a generation of the human race, nor are you just a son or a friend. You are a beautiful masterpiece crafted by the hands of God Himself, He is Michelangelo and you are David; you are the most beautiful and perfect combination of atoms, you are my Mona Lisa, my art. The sparkle in your eyes when you speak of life and the meaning to it says it all. I fall into oblivion each time I just imagine your skin against mine; not in a ****** way, but in a sweet and caring way. I love the way you say my name and look into my eyes, as if analyzing my soul, figuring me out. That usually makes me feel uncomfortable, but it’s you… and that makes the difference, the fact that it’s you thinking why I say each and every word I say when I say it. You are Augustus Waters (without the cancer) and I am Hazel Grace Lancaster (without cancer and not as beautiful). You are ambitious and amusing, whilst I am a cautious bookworm. My room is full of unread books and loose sheets of paper with what seem to be meaningless words scribbled all over. Your room is possibly filled with guitars and old records of your favorite bands and artists from the ‘80’s and ‘90’s and old trophies you now find meaningless. But I want to know more about you. Even if I could know every possible thing there is to know about you, I will keep observing and I will keep spilling my heart to you, and listening when I have to. I want to know the passion in your voice when you read your favorite book, quote, poem, or even word. I want to know your thoughts at 5am when your eyelids feel like heavyweights. I want to experience seeing you laugh hysterically to the point where your rib cage hurts and you cry from the laughter; when you’ve reached your breaking point and you’re curled up, or on the floor, crying until your heart literally hurts and your chest is looking for release; I want to experience it all, I want to know you and not just a part of you. I want to know all of you. The way you fall asleep, how you are the moment you wake up and how you react when you had a nightmare. The human mind is so beautiful, and out of all minds I could observe, I chose you – not just the mind, but you. What makes your heart race, what gives you goose bumps, everything. You’re my observation and I enjoy it.
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2
I stared, stupidly, at his head and the pool of red he bled from the brass rail down onto the barroom floor. Had it been a half an hour He, so cocksure of his power, had first set foot inside the barroom door? I'd been alone but for the Doc a Presbyterian Scott who just come from a hard delivery. Mom and child were doing well but the Doctor looked like hell so I sat him down and gave the man some tea. I 'm the Pub man's assistant and my job that Winter's morning was cleaning up the place for this day's trade. Had I been out in the snug I'd have never met this lug who is lying on the floor fit for the grave. I am Irish from Tyrone, He was from Lancaster-shire. To his thinking I was a blight on English soil. He was spoiling for a fight which he started with a right that sent me sprawling on the barroom floor. He said "Get off the floor, and I'll treat you to some more." "You stupid **** His boon companion smiled. I'm not one to shun a fight when I'm firmly in the right and these arms were toned by years of quarrying stone. Was it surprise I saw when He learned I'm a southpaw. Satisfying was the sound of fist on chin. As he commenced his trip to earth It was the foot rail caught him first He cracked his skull and then he was no more. His friend ran for the police as his pulse and breathing ceased Doc looked up at me and said "This won't go well" " Take my bicycle and flee Off to Scotland , listen to me, unless you fancy dancing on the wind." So I rode like one possessed on the narrow winding roads Early winter darkness coming down. After, I worked on dairy farms and spent three years in the mines. Eventually, the case grew cold and went away. I emigrated to the States where they too have their loves and hates but the Irish are accepted in a way.
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Nov 10, 2011
Nov 10, 2011 at 7:08 AM UTC
Early Morning Bar room , 1919
I stared, stupidly, at his head and the pool of red he bled from the brass rail down onto the barroom floor. Had it been a half an hour He, so cocksure of his power, had first set foot inside the barroom door? I'd been alone but for the Doc a Presbyterian Scott who just come from a hard delivery. Mom and child were doing well but the Doctor looked like hell so I sat him down and gave the man some tea. I 'm the Pub man's assistant and my job that Winter's morning was cleaning up the place for this day's trade. Had I been out in the snug I'd have never met this lug who is lying on the floor fit for the grave. I am Irish from Tyrone, He was from Lancaster-shire. To his thinking I was a blight on English soil. He was spoiling for a fight which he started with a right that sent me sprawling on the barroom floor. He said "Get off the floor, and I'll treat you to some more." "You stupid **** His boon companion smiled. I'm not one to shun a fight when I'm firmly in the right and these arms were toned by years of quarrying stone. Was it surprise I saw when He learned I'm a southpaw. Satisfying was the sound of fist on chin. As he commenced his trip to earth It was the foot rail caught him first He cracked his skull and then he was no more. His friend ran for the police as his pulse and breathing ceased Doc looked up at me and said "This won't go well" " Take my bicycle and flee Off to Scotland , listen to me, unless you fancy dancing on the wind." So I rode like one possessed on the narrow winding roads Early winter darkness coming down. After, I worked on dairy farms and spent three years in the mines. Eventually, the case grew cold and went away. I emigrated to the States where they too have their loves and hates but the Irish are accepted in a way.
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68
In Room 204 of the Lancaster Motel, I ease myself into the bath. Music plays. It's the kind of pan flute and finger-picked guitar tune you hear over fuzzed out speakers in grocery stores. I don't know the source. The place smells of mildew and cheap coffee and self pleasure and Febreeze. I'm tired. More tired than I've ever been, I think. Do I still have a job? Until I call in to check, I suppose. And I suppose this pocket knife will have to do. I never seem to have a corkscrew on hand when my mood calls for wine. I stab and jimmy the cork until I can pry it loose with my teeth. A few bits of cork float on the surface of the wine. This does not stop me, nor slow me. Pollyanna and I stayed in 206, a detail that calls attention to itself, a detail that longs for a poetic phrase, yet I feel little other than the dull thud of coincidence. I remember asking her before that first time if she thought of *** as a form or erasure or addition. She said both sounded nice. And something in the way she said nice, led me to believe she landed on an unspoken third option.  I no longer had an appetite for *** that evening, but we acted on it to satisfy expectation. She turned down the air conditioner, and we laid there shivering and saying little. She told me not to leave her. I said I wouldn't. I'm in the tub now and the bottle is almost empty and all of this is so selfish and stupid and I'm just doing it for the sake of habit and sad sack poetry and ultimately an "I-Eat-Pussy" consolation fedora in heaven. And I'm self aware but the trajectory spirals against my will. And my life entire burns a little slapstick, so I get outside of myself--watch, enjoy.
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Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 9:26 PM UTC
Hanger-On
In Room 204 of the Lancaster Motel, I ease myself into the bath. Music plays. It's the kind of pan flute and finger-picked guitar tune you hear over fuzzed out speakers in grocery stores. I don't know the source. The place smells of mildew and cheap coffee and self pleasure and Febreeze. I'm tired. More tired than I've ever been, I think. Do I still have a job? Until I call in to check, I suppose. And I suppose this pocket knife will have to do. I never seem to have a corkscrew on hand when my mood calls for wine. I stab and jimmy the cork until I can pry it loose with my teeth. A few bits of cork float on the surface of the wine. This does not stop me, nor slow me. Pollyanna and I stayed in 206, a detail that calls attention to itself, a detail that longs for a poetic phrase, yet I feel little other than the dull thud of coincidence. I remember asking her before that first time if she thought of *** as a form or erasure or addition. She said both sounded nice. And something in the way she said nice, led me to believe she landed on an unspoken third option.  I no longer had an appetite for *** that evening, but we acted on it to satisfy expectation. She turned down the air conditioner, and we laid there shivering and saying little. She told me not to leave her. I said I wouldn't. I'm in the tub now and the bottle is almost empty and all of this is so selfish and stupid and I'm just doing it for the sake of habit and sad sack poetry and ultimately an "I-Eat-Pussy" consolation fedora in heaven. And I'm self aware but the trajectory spirals against my will. And my life entire burns a little slapstick, so I get outside of myself--watch, enjoy.
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47
i don't think i'm getting better but i'm drinking oat milk again. it's the stuff my parents buy, rich and creamy, and it doesn't have the aftertaste of thick curdle. and, i mean, i'm still listening to mitski, but it's strawberry blond, not nobody, which is equally sad when you read into it – except i'm trying not to read into things any more. i got a degree in reading into things from the same university wherein i walked the unfamiliar city streets at three in the morning, looking for a suitable canal to drown myself in. it was all dropping rocks to test the depth, hands stuffed in my bright yellow raincoat pockets, van gogh quotes and 11am seminars and "i don't really want to die thirsty, maybe i should just go home, you know?" but i did that. three years of it, and i went home to a not-quite home. that's what my parents say. "what time are you home?" and "aren't you glad to be home?" except for me, home isn't a four bedroom in warrington. it's not even a seven bedroom (or, as we had it, six-bedroom-and-one-unusued-gym-room) in lancaster. it's... well, that's the thing, isn't it? what is home? it's certainly not a dairy substitute. although, i suppose, i'd rather drown in swirls of oat than swirls of lactose. my parents say i've always been quirky like that. me. quirky little girl from warrington.
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Jul 21, 2020
Jul 21, 2020 at 7:05 PM UTC
oat milk
It's 7:17am and I haven't slept I've been playing chess and watching videos about people probably perceived as less fortunate one man had a condition from birth that left him without cheek bones and his parents rejected him after 36 hours in the hospital when he was growing up he worried "I thought I'd never be intimate with anyone." he explained and went on to mention that he hated being stared at he recalled his first love her name was Beth she wore skinny jeans and liked the same music and eventually left I felt the pain he felt at reading his adoption notes how his parents were horrified by his appearance and felt no maternal or paternal connection to him when he was just a little bundle of love I almost shed a tear myself when he told of the time he wrote to his parents then in his 20's he felt it was time they replied with a letter that said they did not want to hear from him and that any future attempts to make contact will be ignored entirely
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Feb 12, 2021
Feb 12, 2021 at 2:49 AM UTC
Jono Lancaster
In a Green Friar car park a professor turns the key - his engine shudders - falls mute. Leaning classword into the wind, his footfalls cover the echoes of the lethal chaos beneath his feet - masking the curses of proud Richard struggling to keep his saddle. Then, in a whirlwind of swords, the final Rose of Lancaster falls in slow motion to the Leichester earth - merging with the primal dust. The professor's archaeologists have arrived for the dig and Richard's bones begin to stir.
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Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 11:29 AM UTC
Richard's Bones (repost)
I have discovered that my blocked nose is not the reason I can’t smell roses. The smell has been cut out of the genus for the sanity of sensors on cargo airplanes. What then, about my children and their’s, when they discover old books for themselves and ask questions about the smell of flowers? About poetry, and the Nineteenth century? How would I tell the tale of family Plantagenet, with flags as dead as Lancaster and York? This tragedy seems so terribly unfair when roses are so much prettier than instruments on planes, every petal a miniature piece of God’s own skin. I need to walk down to the roadside florist if I can get out of this sweaty blanket into this chilly weather and find one of these ****** roses so I can dismember its petals one by one. I must disembowel this litany if I can she loves me, she loves me not, she wants me extinct bred out of this world for convenience, just like the forgotten smell of those roses. The tragedy to be told is that women are not supposed to be the main course in your life, the glorious bouquet of roses that you set the table around. They are more like condiments to an existence already charmed, but if the ketchup has gone rotten it tends to put a damper on how everything tastes and everything smells, I can’t smell the flowers and there are too many forks.
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Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014 at 11:45 AM UTC
The Smell of Roses
For Kara-- I was an idle mind miles out at the wheel, just combustion On a road.  The borderlands Lose their sense of place and aim Just skirting the middle space with no face or claim to Dauphin, Lebanon, or Lancaster. I’ve given my love to any of the three One is in memories and One is in late, and One is where I graciously keep moored The threads of my rebirth. These signs are riddled in bullet holes, their figures Come to semblance of entangles, brilliant in brunette And a gaze, reluctant ever to be caught, I wouldn’t wish to go back If she could be remade from bones, copse, and sunlight Through auric clouds of mayflies. But, the illusion scatters, and in its lack, I do find her, much more real than ever She is what keeps me settled in the several fawning hours And though weak from sleep she’s the very victory of a single breathe I start my day believing in, that she’s a spirit, There’s this life of hers inside the countryside Like winds who speak in sweetened tones, mild In mockery and bewilderment, the very grip of control Has her fingers playing palmistry, pretending magic Distorting the sad matter of earth, her very being is a song That to lose or to grieve my lonely way I, to Mt. Hope, find clear direction back. Fall in love with Lancaster girls and they can break your heart They'll have you already like rolling hills and city lights, And she is the entire scene commingling Where it ought, that summer aura of hers Is a blessing just so hard to bear, For stories are not so wearing on me, they are easier to believe. I no longer need to pretend That airplanes are shooting stars When there’s no need for wishing to a home Where the heart is anymore; there is the Hand that leads me everywhere, Back to the miles of shimmering land Where one hears always sighs of content And rests easy in disbelief.
0
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 8:30 PM UTC
Lancaster
For Kara-- I was an idle mind miles out at the wheel, just combustion On a road.  The borderlands Lose their sense of place and aim Just skirting the middle space with no face or claim to Dauphin, Lebanon, or Lancaster. I’ve given my love to any of the three One is in memories and One is in late, and One is where I graciously keep moored The threads of my rebirth. These signs are riddled in bullet holes, their figures Come to semblance of entangles, brilliant in brunette And a gaze, reluctant ever to be caught, I wouldn’t wish to go back If she could be remade from bones, copse, and sunlight Through auric clouds of mayflies. But, the illusion scatters, and in its lack, I do find her, much more real than ever She is what keeps me settled in the several fawning hours And though weak from sleep she’s the very victory of a single breathe I start my day believing in, that she’s a spirit, There’s this life of hers inside the countryside Like winds who speak in sweetened tones, mild In mockery and bewilderment, the very grip of control Has her fingers playing palmistry, pretending magic Distorting the sad matter of earth, her very being is a song That to lose or to grieve my lonely way I, to Mt. Hope, find clear direction back. Fall in love with Lancaster girls and they can break your heart They'll have you already like rolling hills and city lights, And she is the entire scene commingling Where it ought, that summer aura of hers Is a blessing just so hard to bear, For stories are not so wearing on me, they are easier to believe. I no longer need to pretend That airplanes are shooting stars When there’s no need for wishing to a home Where the heart is anymore; there is the Hand that leads me everywhere, Back to the miles of shimmering land Where one hears always sighs of content And rests easy in disbelief.
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43
In your granddad’s bookcase was a book you liked with a blue hardback cover with German warplane pictures in it and you loved to study the photographs even though the words were too big or long for you to read and on that Sunday you sat while the parents talked and studied the bookcase hoping your granddad would get it out for you if he saw you looking that way long enough but the parents talked and the grandparents listened or talked too and the book stayed put in the bookcase and you stared and counted the books on either side taking in the various colours and sizes on the shelves above and below and how neat they were placed and tidy and well polished it all was but the book kind of attracted you with its German warplanes with the Swastikas on the wings and sides and some pictures had Spitfires and Lancaster bombers with red white and blue on the sides and wings but that Sunday Granddad didn’t get out the book and hand it to you.
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Jan 1, 2013
Jan 1, 2013 at 3:35 PM UTC
YOUR GRANDDAD'S BLUE BOOK OF PLANES.
Oslo that summer having left the base camp and the tent with the Australian guy (he was with the Yank girl) you walked about looking at the sights Moira beside you in her denims and white tee shirt and her hair frizzed after a shower (which she had taken alone worse luck) and she was talking about the Yank girl with whom she shared her tent O the perfume she wears I’d rather sleep in a tent with a camel than with her and her voice ***** my head and do you know I've heard about her love life from the very beginning I’d rather spend the night listening to a duck quack you nodded and listened taking in her fire talk her four letters words filling the air floating there like black angry birds you can share with me any time well you could if I didn't have the Australian guy there smelling of beer and talking about Sheilas and how he did this and that you said no Moira said and have them talk about me too no I’m not that kind of girl besides how would we work it to allow that to be? don't get so angry about things why do you Scots get so moody? it's not just us she said it's the ******* world's view of us as wee tight ******** when we're not anyway she went on giving you the stare what do you know of Scots? lived in Edinburgh for a while you said nice place so much history well there you go she said anyway what’s that got to do with the Yank ***** and her perfume and the love life of a ******* rabbit nothing I guess you said I think she's over here studying art O then that explains it the way she has the I-couldn’t-go-a-day -without- a man's- **** -in-me kind of talk and philosophy Moira said spitting out words like broken teeth what about a beer? you said chill out and take in a view and have a smoke and I can tell you of my love life? the beer's a good idea but I’m not so keen on the tales of your **** life she said so you found a bar off a street and sat outside with two beers and a couple of smokes and you wondering how she bedded and how indeed to get her into your tent and what to do with the Australian guy and the Yank dame and off she went again moaning about the Southend teacher guy did you see him at the from of the mini bus giving it all that talk of history and that Lancaster ***** all ears and ******* teeth ? you sat and smiled listening to her talking of herself and the world's grief.
0
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013 at 2:20 AM UTC
MOIRA AND THE WORLD'S GRIEF.
Oslo that summer having left the base camp and the tent with the Australian guy (he was with the Yank girl) you walked about looking at the sights Moira beside you in her denims and white tee shirt and her hair frizzed after a shower (which she had taken alone worse luck) and she was talking about the Yank girl with whom she shared her tent O the perfume she wears I’d rather sleep in a tent with a camel than with her and her voice ***** my head and do you know I've heard about her love life from the very beginning I’d rather spend the night listening to a duck quack you nodded and listened taking in her fire talk her four letters words filling the air floating there like black angry birds you can share with me any time well you could if I didn't have the Australian guy there smelling of beer and talking about Sheilas and how he did this and that you said no Moira said and have them talk about me too no I’m not that kind of girl besides how would we work it to allow that to be? don't get so angry about things why do you Scots get so moody? it's not just us she said it's the ******* world's view of us as wee tight ******** when we're not anyway she went on giving you the stare what do you know of Scots? lived in Edinburgh for a while you said nice place so much history well there you go she said anyway what’s that got to do with the Yank ***** and her perfume and the love life of a ******* rabbit nothing I guess you said I think she's over here studying art O then that explains it the way she has the I-couldn’t-go-a-day -without- a man's- **** -in-me kind of talk and philosophy Moira said spitting out words like broken teeth what about a beer? you said chill out and take in a view and have a smoke and I can tell you of my love life? the beer's a good idea but I’m not so keen on the tales of your **** life she said so you found a bar off a street and sat outside with two beers and a couple of smokes and you wondering how she bedded and how indeed to get her into your tent and what to do with the Australian guy and the Yank dame and off she went again moaning about the Southend teacher guy did you see him at the from of the mini bus giving it all that talk of history and that Lancaster ***** all ears and ******* teeth ? you sat and smiled listening to her talking of herself and the world's grief.
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140
The sun rose pink over Lancaster; Its frozen rains came quick in tow— Here, we sense the passive and the active: To take the drag or pull: He is dragged by the way of the automatic hand-to-mouth; The Other, is my command— But that, even, impelled snowfully toward A closed fist, a locked grasp, an unwilling departure. I suggest a dislocation somewhere in parallax: Take paper dimensions and fold them 104 times And everything flattens out— The ocular inversion becomes like-real; I’ll swim in that! Puddles are dragged by the wind, whilst the pull thinks in spite Of I, its strange corpus of author, and opus Drags to the creature of appetite deign to call to order. But a power powerless to its name given it: Destined desiring of sunnier metaphors— The alcoves of the thread, brought to just us Caesuras of what satisfies, in food, in just us The depth of image holds true: one cannot live on bread alone. Thus, I muse and mull back to locks of hair and bellybuttons Waiting, in time—the deepening of time’s cloth Where my hand caresses her thigh— One can feel the gravity pressing on the heart, All the love that self-reflects, combs out the wrinkles, And has faith in the good inertia. By this secular host consubstantiate And Other (surely a pleasing affair) is but moments away. And she and I look so pretty together, Our is of whom and what and the third conditional. That which presses upon itself, the one dimension, Cannot disentangle from name or alliance, nor faith, Greedily picking at the oily ruptures, effulging in transparence, Contradictions care not for astrology, And whether you are poetry Is not important here.
0
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 9:01 AM UTC
To be Philosopher is Inhuman
The sun rose pink over Lancaster; Its frozen rains came quick in tow— Here, we sense the passive and the active: To take the drag or pull: He is dragged by the way of the automatic hand-to-mouth; The Other, is my command— But that, even, impelled snowfully toward A closed fist, a locked grasp, an unwilling departure. I suggest a dislocation somewhere in parallax: Take paper dimensions and fold them 104 times And everything flattens out— The ocular inversion becomes like-real; I’ll swim in that! Puddles are dragged by the wind, whilst the pull thinks in spite Of I, its strange corpus of author, and opus Drags to the creature of appetite deign to call to order. But a power powerless to its name given it: Destined desiring of sunnier metaphors— The alcoves of the thread, brought to just us Caesuras of what satisfies, in food, in just us The depth of image holds true: one cannot live on bread alone. Thus, I muse and mull back to locks of hair and bellybuttons Waiting, in time—the deepening of time’s cloth Where my hand caresses her thigh— One can feel the gravity pressing on the heart, All the love that self-reflects, combs out the wrinkles, And has faith in the good inertia. By this secular host consubstantiate And Other (surely a pleasing affair) is but moments away. And she and I look so pretty together, Our is of whom and what and the third conditional. That which presses upon itself, the one dimension, Cannot disentangle from name or alliance, nor faith, Greedily picking at the oily ruptures, effulging in transparence, Contradictions care not for astrology, And whether you are poetry Is not important here.
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36
Bound by the soil The richness of knowing Self, home, heart. Who she was there was only As true as the roots that clenched County to country Tree to earth. There was a ****** to Each footstep Having paced each step thousands of times. Some sets of eyes marked the way As much as a Curve in the road; A sign on the street. Perhaps it was the memory The recollection layered in thick Varying shades of red, gold Ash and dust On everything to see. So many whispers, all vying to eddy against her skin Her flesh.
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Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 9:34 AM UTC
Lancaster
A month after our mother's ninetieth birthday and a month before my older sister comes to Grasmere to visit we went to see My daughters Yoga Dragon Studio In Lancaster and it was truly wonderful A quiet place Light airy and spacious Lord  Shiva dancing and looking down on yoga mats and various sizes of singing bowls which were played by my five -year-old grandaughter I was delighted to see what my daughter achieved
0
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 24, 2018 at 5:27 AM UTC
A Special Day
What do I do with this longing? no bags can carry it. I grab at the mist it floats around my head, clouding my vision. Outstretched hand returns with nothing. An inkling of wetness, or something. Waiting for the vibration in my pocket a sensation as close to aviation as I can find. To a dragonfly's wings.
0
Mar 17, 2023
Mar 17, 2023 at 11:53 AM UTC
The drive from Lancaster