"YOUR GRADES ARE SLIPPING
              WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU"
                            there are people in my grade that would **** for a C
                                                               ­           an A- is not that bad
"I KNOW YOU CAN RUN FASTER
    YOU'RE JUST NOT TRYING"
                                                         ­           this is the fastest I can run
                                                         i'm sorry you're dissappointed
"YOU'RE EATING AGAIN
                  SLOW DOWN BIGGIE"
                                                         ­                   it's just a granola bar
                                               I haven't eaten anything else all day
"NOBODY LIKES YOU
                  N O B O D Y"
                                                              ­                                            ...
it's fine
it's all fine
i'll fix it all
don't you worry
                                                           ­                                         Mom
               I promise no assignments will have less then 100 ever again
                                                           ­                               every 100%
                                                            ­                     every smiley face
                                                            ­                    every "good job!"
                 will be written on the paper with the blood from my wrists

                                                         ­                                             Dad
                ­                                                         I promise i'll run faster
                                                          ­               i'll run until I throw up
                                                              ­                                           no
                                                                ­                            even better
                                                          ­                            until I pass out

                                                            ­                                      Meena
                     ­                                     I promise to stop eating so much
                                              matter fact i'll just stop eating altogether
                                                      ­                    and I won't start again
             not until you can clearly see my ribs poking through my skin

                                                           ­                                     and Lali
                                                            ­                                  I promise
                                                        o­nce I make everyone else happy
                                                           ­                   i'll make you happy
                                                           ­                          by ending it all

I'm not going to tell all my friends I'm suicidal
and I'm not going to send three texts to every contact I have every day

I don't need to make plans with them
I'm fine with the socialization I get from school

I'm not suicidal because of things at school
my problems stem from home

Dad is almost never home
just because his job makes him have to work far away doesn't mean he can't call

Meena needs to get off my ***
every single tiny ******* thing she feels the need to point out
and not to mention the fat shaming

And just because Lali has ADHD doesn't mean she can be a *****
she can't tell me nobody likes me and I have no friends because she's angry
I'm no psychologist
but I don't think ADHD works like that

And you need to get off my *** when it comes to grades
I made it into the school musical
I have a pretty big role
And band
I might ask for a solo
but you wouldn't care about my intrests would you
no... all it is is school, school, school, and grades with you

and maybe
yeah
most of my friends from my favorite friend group are going through a tough time
but you know what
I get more support there
than I do at home

so no
I'm not lonely
i'm... neglected, I guess

I've never said you'll have to
be afraid
of the cookie monster
beside your bed
It's not the real
The real one's in your head
Beyond control
The true one cuts you dead
It's a real fight
It's a war
When destruction takes over
There is no escape
Every shot on target
Perpetrator knows how to strike