And so I embark on yet another month,
A month of sadness of bewilderment,
As the acquiesce once our bodies and lips bind,
Complying so often with the beat of our hearts,

It is all but too difficult to acknowledge,
Such a loss,
A loss of love now embittered with pain,
Enjoined by sorrow of love we had,  

How I’ve deteriorated in your craving,
How my sensibilities have yearned for you,
I love you still with all my kinesthesia,
It seems my love no longer gives you amenity,

Yet love I have for you now brings me torment,
Your love was nothing but a blistering forest and,
No precipitation,
As the leaves are bequethed to the ground,
Never to bare growth or the strength of the husk,
  
It is for that comparison I feel as the ashes on ground,
Never to be loved again or find the love we had,
I am now like a bird with a broken wing,
Like that of a king with no subjects,

I now have numerous Handicapps,
Since your heart has congealed from me,
I had a passionate love for you,
And you have left me alone with my
KINESTHESIA ”

i am lost
at a loss
in loss
grieving true loss
there is nowhere for me to turn
for i know not where to look
to see
to reach
doubt clouds perspective
losing my grip on reality
there is no solidity
floating aimlessly through time and space
kinesthesia reversed
taking flight through negative space
to see me falling pains you
but honestly what can you do
who am i to you
i am friend
sister
daughter
lover
maybe someday mother
i am falling and there's nothing you can do
nothing you can do
nothing i can do
nothing you can do
nothing you can do
for i am you
and there is nothing i can do

“Have you ever conjectured what it’s like to be obscured?
Like a rain drop in the ocean a fish without water,  
That blackbird above the sea that can no longer sing,
As that of a tree with no branches beneath thee,

Like walking straight and winding in curves,
And not even a terminus harbor afore me,
How I suffered with her love as not equal,
A love that was devoted with complete kinesthesia,

And how my love never seemed to bring comfort,  
How sad my love was to subsistence in pain!
Love was nothing but a sizzling desert and no deluge
A love that made me realize you were adrift,  

One need not love if love is not had hinder,  
Always something missing as I gave my all to thee,
Your love for me I know now has been foiled,
I was like a knight that hadn’t been dubbed,

Left to a cloistered life with no concomitant”
By AG 06/14/2018 ©

i am here
in interlocked imagery,a cascading of falling senses
a rapid kinesthesia, a  tumbling swirl of sensations
i outrun myself i pray
i corner myself i admit
i lead myself  
away from clamor, from bedlam
i do slow down
well, i try, i really do
from here,where the sea boils in cross currents of which ways
the tilted red buoy marks the spot
today it's only a warning ,not yet my grave
...small unsustainable rallies in the mornings
exhaustion by noon
its been a hundred plus days
of treading water
...i fight to keep pace
i practice and learn direct speech
there is no other way
but to reduce the matter further..collecting my strength
i will continue and not worry about my affect
how anyone might dare say
...please say nothing
simply to be heard
is enough
to be heard...to be heard
is all i ever wanted