Alyra, remember that day?
That day at the park?
You were three, and I was eleven.
We went to the park with Daddy, Mummy, Molly, Arielle, Ella, Erin, and Pete.

Remember? You played on the playground with Ella and Arielle.
While Erin was teaching me to play basketball.
It was around August, so not too hot.
After we ate lunch, the big kids played touch footy while you went to the sandpit.

At the end is the day, when everyone was talking, you presented me with a big bunch of dandelions.
I told you and the girls to collect some more and I'll make jewelry with them?
You would take off that silly neckless for hours until it broke.
Then, I plaited  flowers through your hair. You looked even more beautiful then you already are.

Just before sunset we danced and danced and danced.
That was the day you taught me 'Doggy Doggy'.
We watched the sunset - all of us.
You were sitting on my lap telling me about your day at kindy the day before.

Alyra, baby girl, try and remember.
Because one day, you won't be a baby girl anymore.
You'll just have memories.
That is why I hang on to them so hard. Because I never want to forget. And I never will. Not when it comes to you.

And they told me.. "Boy, you're no good."
"Which one of them?"
"All of them.."
"And you believed them."
"Yes"
"So what did you do? After they told you i mean."
"I shared my sorrow with this place for quite a few years."

"Close your eyes for just a moment. I promise, this won't hurt you."
"Alright."
"Which was your favourite place? Before it all started going downhill?"
"I.. I never really had one."
"Hmm. That's not true. You did."
"Enlighten me then."
"A beach. It was really sandy, and the sun seemed to take days to go down. It felt soothing, right? I find it hard to believe you forgot all about it. Are you afraid?"
"Of what?"
"To admit it. How much you loved this place. Would something bad happen if you tried recalling it?"
"No."
"Then what's seems to be the problem?"
"It would be useless"
"I don't seem to understand"
"Nobody believes i deserve something as beautiful."

"Haha. And what do you believe."
"I believe they were all right"
"Is that so?"
"Yes"
"Let's go for a walk"
''I.. I can't!"
"May i at least ask why?"
''I just can't! I'm afraid!"
"Of what? If i return. If i try, i will die!"
"I've seen the future. I know what happens. Remember?" He got up from his chair and opened the door. Immediately the sound of waves and seagulls flowded the quiet room. There was a fresh smell of salt all around.

"How about we go for that walk?"
"This won't end well."
"Right.. Because they told you so. You're good for nothing.. Get on your feet. Now!"
"Okay.." They both crossed the door and his feet immidiatelly got sinked into the hot sand. The sunslight was blinding. His heart was racing, his feet were trembling. "We really shouldn't be.."
"Shut up. Would you kindly? Tell me. How come such a beautiful beach is empty? Theres no one around."
"People are *******"
"All of them?"
"Well, most of them."
"Hmm.. Is that so?" Suddenly some figures started appearing in the distance, walking towards them.
"What, what are you doing?"
"Let's put what you just said to a test. Shall we?"
"No, you don't understand. I can't. I don't want them!''

"I'm sorry." He looked at the watch on his rist. "It seems it's my time to go. He smiled kindy as he headed back, towards the door to which they both came from."
"And what about me! Huh? What about me?"
He offered him a formal smile one last time. "I Sentence you.. -He made a small pause- to life.." And he closed the door behind him.

The figures which previously appeared in the distance, where now almost next to him. Most of them smilling, others just looking curious. One of them took a few steps towards him. She was the prettiest of them all, with her dark hair and her white dress. Walking barefoot in the sand. She offered him her delicate hand. ''Hi. I'm Zoey." She smiled.

the morning after
the night before
rises with a cold crisp sun
and sea mist rising

i shuffle out...glad i do not
need to be at work til 2.00pm
i am already wrung out
my leg still achew
and growls
and my eyes are
bleary from
crying.
hair,
a sidways birds nest
smelling of a night's sweaty tossing and turning
and the smoke from the fire dressed fashionably not,
in flannel pj's and hippo studded robe.

i can barely raise a smile.

and still,
he says he loves me
and kisses me soundly ...before  telling me he will
take Tod for Maccas
and then to kindy...
it is a male bonding day....

and i should just go back to bed.....
cause i had a rough night....
oh' and he will bring lunch home at middayish

and that is one
and one again,of a million reasons,
why i love my man
to the stars and beyond.

Hello Mr.Left I want to tell,
you that I am what you were before,
companion in every Dip and Rise,
You add the knowledge in me to explore..

Every way, I seek to say,
to let you know that,
there's something new,
[It changes me through]

And it does say,
to come and play,
but I just keep on looking,
out for you.....

A call in every breath,

You are the light in me,
for you are delight,
to have it all go live again
from you I get the might,

Let me get to know you even more,
the voices sound so deep inside of me,
give me a chance to kindy let you know,
that you bring me the feeling of the wise,

For you are, what I am,
you are, a feel,
For you are the pain beneath,
For you're the relief..

You look like me.
Jolt to the heart.
Arrogantly (I now see)
I had thought he’d never do as well
again.
And yet, you are beautiful
and seem kind.
It arrowed sorrow through
a gap in my armour.
I’d thought it *****-proof.
His best self again
after abandoning me?
I was great too.
I’ve learned new words though,
and I hope you know them too.
Emotional abandonment,
control, choice, trauma.
I’ve grown beyond them, so so far.
Green leaves, blue sky.
You, kindy teacher -
help keep my kids happy please.
I work hard to maximise the good
for them.
And, good luck with the rest, lady.
Not that I’m saying, but —
I wouldn’t recommend.