the fun times as a kid for brian allan from canberra
you see it was fun it was great, every single day
i went to the mall to muck around, and i heard
men calling me a great big ugly snout, oh yeah yeah, yeah mate yeah
and then i wore my screaming jets t shirt and i played my air guitar so much
and then i went home and did my washing, and i stunk of laundry powder oh yeah
and i came down to the mall and the young dudes said
welcome brian to the mall, welcome welcome welcome
and then i spoke to the music shop owner about all the latest music that he played
ya see young ronnie was asked by me to tie me up on my bed
i wanted that because of my previous life, yeah mate yeah it was soooo cool
and then i played with my mates, and chased brendan up the tree
and he said, brian, be a kid, don’t be an adult, oh no way
i said, fine as my brother was looking at me showing me what a starer looked like
i wanted to party, so i went into the pub and watched some kids playing pool
and they all sang the U2 song, mysterious ways, while i was watching
i didn’t really wanna stare so i went to the dance floor and put my body up to the gorgeous chicks
and we danced to songs like what’s love got to do gotta do with it
you see i went to this pub after spending some time playing computer games at the bowling alley
and then headed off saying men don’t do that, that’s what kids do, i might head to the pub
and i met some really cool kids, but i was a tad troubled because as soon as people
said go home, i said neh, i am still not ******* off mate
they used the words, ******* turk, so we can get on with our lives
and i said, i am still not ******* off mate, dad said, ******* coward
which forced me to tease my father heavily, but i didn’t wanna do that, it was the chemical in my f..n brain
like the chemical in my brain which forced me to listen to the kids say, what’s that, your like us
well, i might heard one kid say this, but, really i shouldn’t expect this
i like when people sing in groups, but dads not around anymore, the old hags dead, but i remember dad
said what’s that brian what’s that brian what’s that brian, i liked that, why did dad change
i liked the voices from mum, your like our fucken kids, but that was a voice from my brain chemical
i was having visions of my brother saying, you are like us, when i was on rampage on grabbing kids
but i didn’t want to do that, it was my crazy chemical in my brain
i want to find a cure for death, so i used my cronus belief to give brian allan the power to know dads next life
dad is betty campbell, i remember stealing some rope and tying myself up in a toilet and pretending to be kidnapped
i remember patrick, was my best mate, and as i entered the mall he clapped his hands saying
welcome brian welcome to the mall, i was the one that stopped kids tying themselves up on youtube, it was just me
i didn’t wanna be encouraged to tie the kids up, so i told websites to untie our youth, because it attracts phedaphiles, don’t ya think
you see in the wrong hands youtube is dangerous, and kids are only little, mind you, some kids can look after themselves
but i had to do that because kids were playing tie up games, which i used to play, but i don’t want kids copying me, but
it forces kids to get themselves into traps, and I SAVED THEM, WITH MY BARE HANDS
youtube is way cooler and i think FOXTEL really doesn’t have anything like youtube, and i remember in 2004 i said i go on the computer
and google a fertiliser press on it a number of times and instant cash from the internet money tree and i started hearing voices taking my helper away
ya see i had this poem i wrote, saying …. teena totter teena totter 33 and there was this man from toastmasters trying to take my man as i was
sitting at the mall drinking a coca cola, i was being a reformed man, instead of beer, i drank coke, because when i was drinking i was a real terror
but it wasn’t all my fucken fault, ya see in the town centre tavern, a man bought me and him a jug of beer but he fucken tore strips off me forcing me
to look up in the sky saying god or buddha please save me now, and he fucken yelled at me, saying your not like the kids, and i saw peter sargent, an old
neighbourhood friend, but he died and one man was teasing me at the bar because the barman only let me do a tab just for a cricket match, i liked that
cricket match so much, but clubs don’t do that much anymore, i was having fun, actually i was having voices in my head about the canberra people
making me be an adult to a ****, sit there brian and drink your beer watch the families mucking around and then die, it might be because i stole people’s money
and ran off leaving him lying in the ditch, i feel bad about that now, steve told me, i shouldn’t have done that, and in 2004, pats voice said teena totter teena totter
35, i was kidnapped by a demon, and i made it through alive and i was crazy back in the 90s, the chemical in my brain was forcing patrick’s voice in my head
and i cheered on some dude’s kid and he said, ya leave my kid alone ya little mongrel and i started teasing him calling him a worry wought, and as he left, he said
next time i see ya, i will punch you, your not a shy person, buddy, but he never did, but still i have to watch my f..n back, but as long as i don’t **** him off again
it should be alright and one time at the charnwood inn, i was watching the choirboys, i lost my wallet and smokes and some **** grabbed me outside and i thought he was abducting me,
so i tried to push my legs up, and he said, ok we’ll leave ya alone buddy and i got a free taxi ride home, and i was at the ANU bar watching a band and this man started tapping his foot
and i thought he was cool, but the chemical in my brain made a little tease, coming out of him, but i really thought that band was cool, despite me looking like i was jittering
and also when i was bowling as we had a club meal, i was dancing on the floor with kathryn and the patrons thought i was the coolest dude around, and i partied all the way through
bowling, especially when i won trophies, yeah this was rad, and i remember i was bowling back in 1990 and i grabbed two boys of bill, who was our player and i wanted to ****** them
as well as i went to the basketball and grabbed a boy near the dunny, and grabbed frank’s friend robert, it lead to tie up games, but i don’t want anyone like me, ya see
but i remember singing, hey hows it going, sorry i can’t get through, just leave ya name and ya number and i’ll get back to you, and i sang the whole song at the mall as well
as teasing the men, saying i am a kid and your a man, i am a kid and your a man, you see i remember having visions of being treated like a hooligan ya know playing cool for yeah mate
yeah kids, as i sat there, the forces of the paranormal world will take away my family person, saying, your not a family person anymore, you are now a hooligan, and i hear pat’s voice
saying, come on brainy party, and i said, hi pat over the phone and he always told me to look after myself as he hi-5ed me, but there was this girl named louise, well i got memories
of life with pat at the poetry slam through louise, but she got ******* when people yelled at her, my motto is, i have the right to go out and have fun, like a real cool kid, that i was
but there is a worry that i will lose what i have at the poetry slam as far as losing people cheering me on, but i have to stick at my guns at the poetry slam and read with pride
for the poems i wrote myself, and i like dad, but i hate the voice saying, dads not around anymore brian, i know that, i say to the voice, but i don’t think he understands me
and mcdonalds was my favourite food, until it made me *****
