She has blonde hair
That comes with traits above our class
She is not one of us,
And she knows that
She is my sister, only half you see
For her father was a wealthier man
Until he fell for, heard her crying plea
My father was a very nice man
But not the same man was he
He was a factory worker
Until he went up into flames
She loved him dear
And his death tore her to shreds
But darkness rose up in her
After his death
She is now a bad guy
In a good story
Karly, I love you dear
But now is the time
To face my fears
I know that you love a man
Who is obsessed with me
And with whom's feelings
I do not share
I would tell him that you felt for him
But he wouldn't even care.
I'm sorry sister
Please don't hate me
I want nothing more than to be good to you
I really do
But I cannot
Because you have played me as a fool
This is my story, not yours.
If you try to take my ending I will take yours
I am sorry for betraying you
But if you did it first,
Is it really betrayal at all?

Osterreich hat den Vontrapps
La Belgiquea leurs chocolats
Bûlgariya e nechuvano
Hrvatska je mjesto gdje žabe kreštanje
Kibris bir agaçtir
České čepování piva je z Czechaslovakia
Denmark er ikke Delaware
Eesti kividega
Suomi on lähellä Norjassa ja Ruotsissa
La France a Paris
Deuschland spreache Deusche
I Elláda échei kókkino - skepastí spítia
Magyarország éhes
Tá Éire ar thalamh de fearg
Italia odia quando si ordinal a pizza
Latvija izklausās tualete
Lietuva yra skystas
Lëtzebuerg *** nieft dee Belsch
Malta ghandha hafna ta ' maltu
Nederland wordt geschreeuwd toen Adam een doelpunt
Polska am Marie Curie
Portugal: Valentina: Hey que ê de on de eu sou !
România suná ca locul romanilor
Slovaškia pravi, "zdravo"
Slovenija je an prostem
Equipo de fútbol de España Es la favorite de Karly
Sverige har Minecraft
United Kingdom is leaving

Sometimes I wonder if my first mistake in loving you was getting to actually know you.
Know you like the back of my hand,
And then realizing just now,
That there is the tiniest freckle in that wrinkly area between my thumb and pointer finger
And I have been alive and barely breathing for 14 years but I never noticed that speck.
Or if my first mistake in loving you was
Introducing you to my friends as the boy I was talking to at 4 am on school nights
And the boy that I had just promised I was "done with" 2 days ago
At Elizabeth's house because I saw you kissing Karly behind the bleachers on Thursday.
But right now, I am standing in front of 20 somewhat people,
Questioning if my first mistake in loving you was
Watching you **** me 1 month into our strenuous relationship,
I don't mean the *** was bad,
I'm just saying it wasn't the best either,
And that you probably could've done better.
Or maybe you couldn't have,
Your ***** was a bit small.
I'm just explaining that I think if I had loved you correctly,
Then the *** wouldn't have made me question if no actually means no
And whether or not the height of my skirt made your ***** decide that it was getting through My lace ******* one way or another that night.
I'm not telling you that I regret it, because I don't.
I don't regret things.
I don't regret things.
I don't regret things.
But I do regret you,
And I do regret walking out of the house in that mini leather skirt despite my mother's Objections,
Even though I should be free to walk around my city wearing whatever ******* clothes I want To,
Without worrying over whether or not I'm asking to be ***** at
Dickpoint.
So the question is if I really didn't love you,
Which at this point of the poem,
I don't I think I ever did,
Then who made the first mistake in our relationship?
And boy, you better take the blame for it this time,
Because I am an angel.
And I will not claim this loss as a loss,
But in fact as a win,
Because I deserve better than this.
I deserve better than regret.
I deserve better than ****.
I deserve better than you.
I deserve better than your *****.
I deserve better than your uncomfortable hands.

How many times have guys said that you have beautiful eyes?
How many times have they said they can’t get you off their mind?

Have they told you that your laugh is still ringing in their ears?
That they want to hold you and hug you and kiss away your fears?

Will they promise to listen and to care about your thoughts?
Will they understand and see every person that you are?

Can they say that when you speak your lips are distracting?
Can they say even when you sleep you’re overreacting?

When they see you do they say their hearts skip a beat?
When they see you do they say, will you be with me?

Do you remember?
In Karly's front room,
Waiting for your ride.
You had been dying
To kiss me
For weeks.
You held my hands.
You looked into my eyes.
I saw yours.
Your **** brown eyes.
They are so beautiful.
Our noses touched.
I felt butterflies.
Then boom.
fireworks.
Did you see those beautiful fireworks?
I could feel your heart beat.
boom.
ba boom.
Thudding.
Thundering.
You were so nervous.
But no where near
as nervous
as me.

i can see you, you know
i can see when you look at me for just a hair too long
your wandering eyes when i wear a shirt a little too tight
or even your own brothers sweatpants

your laugh rings in my head like a bell, matching perfectly
with that smile and
those eyes
blue, not like his
yours are soft
his are icey

you have the same parents, there's only 15 months between you
youre closer to my age, but i have a thing for older boys
so the older brother it was
we weren't even friends
not even before i met your brother
maybe your eyes fall on my body because i look like her
i look like most of the girls you mess around with
modestly curvy,
mess of brown curls
tan skin, brown eyes

i shouldnt dream about you the way i do
i shouldnt think about you the way i do
my thoughts should most definitely be focused on the other "S" boy
in your family

i get too excited when you're going to be around
even though you make me so nervous
i could choke on the tension in the air
it's like being allergic to chocolate
you cant
you wont
you shouldnt EVER
IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE CROSSED YOUR BRAIN
but you just want a small bite
a nibble
just a taste
a single
sloppy
backseat
taste.

that's a lie though
a fantasy that never happened
i fantasize a lot about you
oh yes
and im glad im the only one with a key to my brain
i dont want anyone to have the slightest PEEK
inside the
Simon vault

most of my fantasies are so innocent
so elementary
it makes me
wonder if i ever even grew up
"maybe, just maybe, he'll look me in the eyes today"
"possibly even nod my way"
except the Simon i know doesnt do that
he doesn't even acknowledge me
ever

ive been told his only personality trait is drifting cars
sometimes my head wanders to
possibilities
but theyre so forbidden

sure
ive thought about everything there really is to think about
not only between
girl
and
boy
but between
friend
and
friend
once between
crush
and
crush
innocent kisses is all i think about
never more
i feel like im betraying the other "S" that way

i thought writing this would make me feel better
but instead i can feel 20 pounds
slowly lowering down on me
im getting hot
definitely not needy
hot under his sweatshirt
no, not Simon's
im not ******* stupid
i could never seek him out

Spencer wants to know
i want someone to know
not Spencer, not Karly, not anyone
Simon.

maybe its because of the faulty answer
he told me when someone
told me
anonymously (******* **** ****)
that he's got a crush
that mess of limbs and laughs and ..very.. little wit and
(god that smile will be the death of me)
on me
me
me
i guess i look similar to her
brown curls and tan skin and brown eyes
similar height, weight, cup size
hell, even our ***** are the same
we both wear loungewear like its regular clothes
same sense of humor
but like
ive got freckles, trauma, i overshare
shes fine, as far as i know

i need to drop it before i manifest feelings back
before i manifest your thoughts back to me
i dont know if i need them or if theyre the last thing i need