So, tonight I learned a few things while hanging out with Anjali. She may not even realize she had me thinking as hard about the things she said as I actually am. She probably has no clue. But as we were hanging out she started talking about loneliness... her friend group... how summer has been utterly slow for her. How she can't wait to go back to college even though she'll miss her family.
It really got me thinking. I'm not the only one feeling alone. I'm not the only one feeling as if I have no one. I'm not being alone, alone. It made me feeling sympathetic.... mostly because I'd known exactly how she's been feeling.
This summer has been the longest yet. If compared to last summer, so much has changed. I mean, what did I expect? To move back and everything be just as it was last summer? I knew things would be different, but they're just SO MUCH MORE DIFFERENT than I thought. Angel just had a BABY. Like, my old time partner in crime, was now a mother. She now has a whole nother world to take care of. A whole nother life.
Justin doesn't live in Globe this summer. I dont know if he just didn't want to, or because living arrangements going from here to there were going to be more difficult if he moved back. I really don't know. I just know last summer he was completely in love with me, and by the way he texts me, he still is. But he has a girl friend now. And we did hangout last weekend. And if I hadn't gotten so ****** up on edibles, I could've paid more attention to him.
Other friends? Well, I don't really have any other friends. I have some family. That counts, kind of. There's kass and dominic, but they both live an hour and fifteen minutes away. And I mean, there's Kahlia. She's sweet and she says she trusts me so much, but like, will she answer if I call crying and broken? I just feel like she has so many other friends.
I wish I had a friend right now. This summer. A summer friend. Ya know? Someone to come with me even if it's just to put gas? Someone to eat nachos with? The more I talk about this, the more I think of Trevor. He was my summer friend at the beginning of the summer, until he moved. I wish I would've appreciated him more. I wish I had him back in globe because I seriously have no one to hangout with. I miss him so much. It's bringing me to tears thinking about this honestly. Noah too. We hungout at the beginning of summer and now when I need him, he's MIA. I give boys a little more leeway just because they're boys and they're not gonna be texting all the time, or bugging to hangout, but I wish they would. Jeremy made an effort for about a week to hangout with me, and now we hardly talk again.
Is something wrong with me? Do people get tired of me? Why don't I ******* have friends anymore? Why doesn't Daniel like me anymore?
Daniel. Yeah. I'm not sure if I'm crazy, or he's a ****. Either way I'm heart broken. He doesn't want me and now I have to block on twitter everything because my feelings are hurt, but that's just more of a reason for me to seem ******. Ugh. Maybe I am ******.
SUMMER MAKES ME FEEL LIKE ****
