Twenty plus years
Knowing of me
Have noooo idea to care about
Who I am
Never once taken seriously
Always not good enough
For what exactly?
Memo received
For hoes
There's juzt no luv...

God
If you can't save me
Nobody can
I'm dying
Out of your way and will
Dismantling
My own purposeful plan
Taking my own life
From the safety
Of the palms of your hands
No Mas!
Destroying myself
Was never a part
Of a Devine plan.

A spun child I am, dizzyly geeked that im the last to get found, no peekaboos or hide N seek.
Finally invistable here juzt maybe
I might could finally stand out only enuff to fit in. When there you go xrayz invisibility
Opaque transparency watching you delightfully looking to see through me?
How dare you, dearly be encouragingly genuinely appreciative of these
Humbly honored diabolic mentalities.
Trying ever so fervently to not see me looking back at me in every mirror I see narcissisticly
The foreground is not sacred to me.

Curb your ID
Mantra prayed
Many Many timez
And more
Than counted for
Until about age preteen
Then that N!$$@ EGO
Juzt ztep ryght up& ztep
Right, Right, Right Eeeeen
Not Juzt Inn!!!

Was the GOD I saw in you
 Only a creation in my mind  Fragmented pigments
Of Illuusionary delusions
Loving, good, kindness
All juztuz akting aktz
Truthz distorted
Have we kumpletely
Twisted ALL WE HELD SACRED???
Or was it ALL juzt gamez

Tethering between
Heaven and Hell
Down to earth mostly
Trying to decipher
If the prayers
Of the write just
Iz juzt write
Why do we endure
Endearingly endearing
Endeavours early or latter
Tonight I may weep
Don't cry for me
Sweet TnT
Every sun'z Rizingz
Getting closer
Putting together the
Pieces of my peace...

Our good tymez
Wasn't juzt good
Dey really were dyno might
As children
We're kept protected
From the struggle
Until We learn how
To become a part of the fight...

Six million ways
To dye
Yuh can choose
More than one
But if it's done right
Juzt Quan time
Ongle One iz what
Yuh need write???

Juzt one of doze daze
Somber gripz a soulless emptiness
I am my stories protagonist.
I championed
My own lovely fragility
Help me find my do not touch labelz
Or leave me da *** alone.

The problem is
I talk far too much
Saying anything and everything
To any and everyone
Knowing I couldn't
Count on any platform
To just vent
And juzt be listened to
I don't trust myselves
With Me
I just knew
I shouldn't have tried to
Trust myself with you...

It's A love affair
When I think of this peace inside
The entire world around WE
Couldn't possibly equate US
Juztuz peanut headz Jordanz
With Fieldz of sweet and sour
Perry Saphire blossoms
Roze one more day
Gifted with the Rizingz
Of the only sunz son
Gave birth to none
Mothers many
Daughterz I have a plenty
That juzt means I'm blessed
And I'm loathingly loved at times
That's just how daughters and Mothers do! It was not supposed
To be us in this blissful hellish
Chaoticly beautiful mess
WE call family
But in the mean time
WE ALL are fine. Justus
No measurements in time
Created to be yours
Far longer than forever
Az you mi amore are mine...

Go please
Please leave me
Exactly the fuxed up way
You found me
Please I'm pleading
And begging please
Don't think my kind
As stupid or weak
Please love me
Or just let me be
Answers to prayers
Playing hide N seek
Rabbyt Whole deep
Muthafauqerz
Laughing at me
Praying I'm brought
To my knees
Got no clue
No chanting mics
Already there
Praying beyond prayers
Genuinely Lovingly
Accept me for all of me
Or Zimply! Juzt let me be.

Hart O Kool KAP
It's 5 Oklok in da mourning yuh see
Duppy really really knew
Juzt how to frighten me
Way back when WE
Had childish men2boyz tality
To think someone like you
Could ever overstand
Deez nutz iz far bigga than yours
If you ain't feeling it already
You and yours will feel
It soon come faster than
A speeding bullet eventually
You and yours gooooiiiiiin learnn

The heart
Of this hero will live on
Far longer
Than dust to ashes
This flesh
And these bones
The mourning after
Tearful cerimonies
Skipping to
Lub dubbing sounds
And massive
Welcoming praises
Shouting, my good
And faithful servant
Well Done!

Tribute to loved ones, not lost!
Juzt moved on!!!

I juzt need y'all to ovastand
Da Goddezz got
Thiz
Whole Wide world
In the reach of
Both palming handz
*** on gingy run for uz
Marathonz race endearmentz
Well donez
Heaven or dearly departedz
H. E. Doublez, Ahhhh Hell!!!

Trying to come to terms
With being loved
Treated justly justifiably right
Respectively respected
Comfortable communications
For the rest of my daze
Even if only in this lifetimes life
Taking time to honestly
learn to appreciate each other
Some real realizing ****
I'm not entitled to the GOD in YOU
Truly measured wealth
Earnest knowledge only WE2
Knowing the me I hide
From shining through
Fearful of letting me get so into U
Fearful of anymore hurt
Least of all
Birth from perceived truthz
Repressing **** isn't
Something I like
It's juzt something
I was taught to do.
Trying so hard to change
Until I recognize Myselves in ME!!!