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"jumpy" poems
Clownlike, happiest on your hands, Feet to the stars, and moon-skulled, Gilled like a fish. A common-sense Thumbs-down on the dodo's mode. Wrapped up in yourself like a spool, Trawling your dark, as owls do. Mute as a turnip from the Fourth Of July to All Fools' Day, O high-riser, my little loaf. Vague as fog and looked for like mail. Farther off than Australia. Bent-backed Atlas, our traveled prawn. Snug as a bud and at home Like a sprat in a pickle jug. A creel of eels, all ripples. Jumpy as a Mexican bean. Right, like a well-done sum. A clean slate, with your own face on.
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You're
one April dusk the sallow street-lamps were turning snowy against a west of robin’s egg blue when i entered a mad street whose mouth dripped with slavver of spring chased two flights of squirrel-stairs into a mid-victorian attic which is known as O ΠΑΡΞΕΝΩΝ and having ordered yaoorti from Nicho’ settled my feet on the ceiling inhaling six divine inches of Haremina in the thick of the snick- er of cards and smack of back- gammon boards i was aware of an entirely ***** circle of habitués their faces like cigarettebutts, chewed with disdain, led by a Jumpy ***** who played each card as if it were a thunderbolt red- hot peeling off huge slabs of a fuzzy language with the aid of an exclamatory tooth-pick And who may that be i said exhaling into eternity as Nicho’ laid before me bread more downy than street-lamps upon an almostclean plate “Achilles” said Nicho’ “and did you perhaps wish also shishkabob?”
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One April Dusk The
that feeling when (your) finger tips clutch (my) bare skin veiled in casual apathy we watch the screen in silence not knowing what to say i don't know what went on behind your flickering eyes as for me, the moment of contact sent jumpy tingles up my spine unexpectedly my mind reeled forward to unspent nights in dance clubs or backyard barbecues; the way your hands felt in mine when we leaned in lips still intact-- unbroken
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Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 10:51 PM UTC
it's called electricity
i breathe one breath at a time each inhalation linked to the exhalation before it yet every breath stands alone there's something tenuous about it this soft machine is on thin ice devoured by time in innocent increments like a moth nibbles away wool my heart little gorilla wearing itself out rubber glove with a hole in it weird luck my eyes are bright solar blue ball lanterns if you saw me you would say good bones river of envy yet all hinges on a muscular rhythmic pulsating machine like a determined jaw chewing jumpy mouth yet on the verge of betrayal a glitch karmic indecision   in destinies wheel house a red fist locus banging ones immense sense of self a vainglorious elaboration built over a small pulsating muscle innocuous dumb blood flesh knot drumming scarlet tribe throne of my very soul great sovereign old man in a crib splitting open of its own accord   a sudden rip from life to a dead sea eternity the final frontier starless night
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May 5, 2017
May 5, 2017 at 1:54 PM UTC
I BREATHE
Mind is a super computer they say. It can think of millions of stuff in a matter of day. From the bombings in Iraq, to the hurt in my best friends heart. From the moment its up, It never stops, To stop. Blink or breathe. It keeps running at night. The subconscious consumes power. Often leaving the mind tired at the break of dawn. When it meets people, it reads the signs at many levels. Subject of talk, Body language. Positivity of the vibes, The way the person jives. A handshake. A wink. A hug. A swiftly made jug* It notices everything. In all this processing. It accumulates a lot of clutter! And the mind with all the confusing thoughts, becomes like hot butter! Sparks fly like an electronic of fire! And it needs something to distract it. What works best is a bit of exercise. A bit of chattering, Or writing it all out. Some find solace in Games or Movies. Why do they work? Because they engage all senses, And make the mind groovy. Smoking and doping do great too. But reducing the processors of our mind to grade two! Hallucinating and dreaming 80% of it. The mind thinks its being more productive that most of it. But illusions destroy us further. Making the mind believe it’s just another wonder. Wonder though it is. Using only 10% of it we create, Science, History, Mystery, But this wonder has a lot on bate. If it goes in the wrong direction. Even thinking too much is an addiction! Original thoughts are like endorphins to the mind. Making it jump and do cartwheels inside. Stimulating discussions are named that way, Because engaging in one makes us jumpy all day. It satisfies the mind that, I have done something constrictive besides, Whiling my days in sorrow, and waiting for the morrow. Mind is like a baby that need attention, if not given that it runs in all directions. Mind is a super computer that needs, the dedication of a programmer. Be that programmer and feed your mind the right numbers, And see it become the eighth wonder! *Jug- short for juggle.
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Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 2:51 PM UTC
Ode to the Human Mind
Mind is a super computer they say. It can think of millions of stuff in a matter of day. From the bombings in Iraq, to the hurt in my best friends heart. From the moment its up, It never stops, To stop. Blink or breathe. It keeps running at night. The subconscious consumes power. Often leaving the mind tired at the break of dawn. When it meets people, it reads the signs at many levels. Subject of talk, Body language. Positivity of the vibes, The way the person jives. A handshake. A wink. A hug. A swiftly made jug* It notices everything. In all this processing. It accumulates a lot of clutter! And the mind with all the confusing thoughts, becomes like hot butter! Sparks fly like an electronic of fire! And it needs something to distract it. What works best is a bit of exercise. A bit of chattering, Or writing it all out. Some find solace in Games or Movies. Why do they work? Because they engage all senses, And make the mind groovy. Smoking and doping do great too. But reducing the processors of our mind to grade two! Hallucinating and dreaming 80% of it. The mind thinks its being more productive that most of it. But illusions destroy us further. Making the mind believe it’s just another wonder. Wonder though it is. Using only 10% of it we create, Science, History, Mystery, But this wonder has a lot on bate. If it goes in the wrong direction. Even thinking too much is an addiction! Original thoughts are like endorphins to the mind. Making it jump and do cartwheels inside. Stimulating discussions are named that way, Because engaging in one makes us jumpy all day. It satisfies the mind that, I have done something constrictive besides, Whiling my days in sorrow, and waiting for the morrow. Mind is like a baby that need attention, if not given that it runs in all directions. Mind is a super computer that needs, the dedication of a programmer. Be that programmer and feed your mind the right numbers, And see it become the eighth wonder! *Jug- short for juggle.
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61
my rabbit heart it pounds and pounds I am tiny and frightened in the grass they will catch me they will catch me they will catch me catching means fury and pain and something worse - but I don't even know what I have to cover my tracks I have to run run run I have to freeze hold my breath pray as my heart pounds loud enough to hear I make my nest of chosen family chosen interests chosen self and I dig and I cover and I hide hide hide throw them off the scent have I said too much? is it over? do they smell the trail? my rabbit nose can smell things and my rabbit ears can hear things and my rabbit eyes can see things that lead straight to my nest but my rabbit heart doesn't know how much the foxes know I imagine all the ways the foxes will smell and hear and see and catch me, corner me and I cannot escape and it is not a dream this time I am in their jaws and it is over that is what my rabbit heart imagines and why it pounds pounds pounds one smell left out of place and they sniff it out and come for me and I am so small and so helpless I am fast and jumpy and that has saved me time and time again but what about this time? when will my luck run out? I am quick and clever but they have teeth and hunger - what is it like to not fear like this? to have a lion heart? to walk in the world with something other than freezing and trembling and a heart that pounds in fear what is it like to not even be a lion, no nothing so grand but a pet rabbit who knows only safety who is anxious in his nature but has never seen a fox never kept a nest of secrets never been so close to death just from a pounding fearful heart I wish I knew
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Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 11:57 PM UTC
rabbit heart
my rabbit heart it pounds and pounds I am tiny and frightened in the grass they will catch me they will catch me they will catch me catching means fury and pain and something worse - but I don't even know what I have to cover my tracks I have to run run run I have to freeze hold my breath pray as my heart pounds loud enough to hear I make my nest of chosen family chosen interests chosen self and I dig and I cover and I hide hide hide throw them off the scent have I said too much? is it over? do they smell the trail? my rabbit nose can smell things and my rabbit ears can hear things and my rabbit eyes can see things that lead straight to my nest but my rabbit heart doesn't know how much the foxes know I imagine all the ways the foxes will smell and hear and see and catch me, corner me and I cannot escape and it is not a dream this time I am in their jaws and it is over that is what my rabbit heart imagines and why it pounds pounds pounds one smell left out of place and they sniff it out and come for me and I am so small and so helpless I am fast and jumpy and that has saved me time and time again but what about this time? when will my luck run out? I am quick and clever but they have teeth and hunger - what is it like to not fear like this? to have a lion heart? to walk in the world with something other than freezing and trembling and a heart that pounds in fear what is it like to not even be a lion, no nothing so grand but a pet rabbit who knows only safety who is anxious in his nature but has never seen a fox never kept a nest of secrets never been so close to death just from a pounding fearful heart I wish I knew
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It's the skin on skin basics: You may touch, but please don't look. I hand him a pinecone, pale petals, and some Tulgeywood bark saying "Feel it out in the dark," saying "Can you tell me what that is? Can you dab your flesh on those pine needles, ***** your tips in the dark? Feel it out in the light now. Can you taste it: Can you lap it, lick it? Bite it, mosquito, bite 'til your lips are swollen and 'til your teeth are blunted and 'til the thought of one more cigarette is enough to make you sick, make you smile, make you laugh for a short while or an hour or two... Spit, ***** spit; you're a jumpy little mare. If you don't know what a pinecone feels like I'll break all 13 hands of you. Can you press petals in your fingers and call it the skin on the small of my back? Call the dew in small beads the perspirin' of my lust? Can you do that for me? Imagine, for a second?" I imagine for a second— I imagine for a second or two.
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Sep 16, 2013
Sep 16, 2013 at 1:03 PM UTC
Pinecone, Petals, and Bark
I'm nervous. Like really nervous. Like shaking like a blender full of gravel nervous. Like atheist in a foxhole nervous. Why am I so nervous? Because I have a nagging thought that soon I might just be the last-next-best-thing that ever happened to you, Replaced by another, better next-best-thing that blows me out of the water. Because you might decide I don't have what you really REALLY want. Because at the end of the day, I'm still convinced that your attraction to me is the product of an elaborate facade. So yeah. I'm nervous. Like sweating fifty caliber bullets nervous. Like ******** cinderblocks nervous. Like chattering teeth cold sweats nervous. Like dying young nervous. Like being forgotten nervous. And it makes me nervous that you put me on a pedestal Because from where I stand, I didn't do anything to deserve this I got drunk at a party and picked up a guitar and here we are almost a year later. So I'm anxious I'm distressed I'm worried and jumpy But most of all I'm nervous Nervous because I think You might one day figure out what I already know: I'm not that great. I'm lanky and goofy and kinda dumb sometimes And I can be just as petty as everyone else And I'm still pretty convinced you're colossally out of my league So I'm nervous Like shake-you-to-your-fucking-core nervous Like really nervous.
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Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 1:19 AM UTC
Nervous
Planks, splintering in solidity Together twined in tedium Curving cords of mated metal Lost in ludicrous loops Twines of tetanus protrude Danger danger Rising flying roaring floating Above the stillborn trains Arching acrid aerial arms Lazy concrete spiral, neighbor snail Inverse slide with railings Rumble rumble try and grumble Jitter in jumpy juxtaposition Guts of grotesque giants Flayed flawed under flaming flight Blink away oblivion Orange and omnificent, opaque concern Useful hangnail, table scraps Rise above Shocked stillness soon stumbling Ornamental oasis for the oracles Unseen unheard untasted unsmelled Unfeeling unused to understanding Carry me across Fly me over Lift me beyond Suspend. Glimpse the unparalleled phenomenon Ribs of steel, rain has parted Seeping to the soul Buzzing through the boards Immobile, cradle in the wind Twist Take off your sunglasses Be sure to look around as you pass through
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Oct 20, 2012
Oct 20, 2012 at 10:30 PM UTC
Footbridge over the Railroad Tracks
Maybe I should worry about the hole my dad kicked in the wall and I drew a smiley face on it to make myself feel better and still it's there after more than five years. Or that it doesn't bother me hearing my eighteen-year-old brother cry anymore. Or that I don't know how to explain why I'm so jumpy and why it's not exactly funny. But instead I just focus on myself, my mind sometimes it's easier to study the storm inside my head even though I'm getting soaked.
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Jun 13, 2015
Jun 13, 2015 at 4:35 PM UTC
Bother
The envelope was red, white and blue just like the flag Betsy Ross spent days with bleeding fingers over so many years ago. It was addressed to me from an unknown sender. I was giggly, jumpy. Who would write to me? I wasn’t important. Just a seventh grade nobody stuck in a sparkly purple wheelchair. Mom said I could join. She secretly wanted her outcast of a daughter to have a sense of normalcy during her last fading moments of childhood. I just wanted to have fun. I wasn’t ready to accept that I was different. I knew that I was. The stares told me so but I didn’t want to be. The letter said that I could represent my fine country as America’s National Teenager. Me? All I had to do was show my ability by competing in a scholarship pageant. You know, a beauty pageant except it wasn’t being called so because adults are trying to be sensitive to teenager’s feelings because we’re more likely to be sensitive, emotional and prone to disruptive and potentially harmful outbursts. The perks of being a wallflower. Teenagers, we know this. We’re also not stupid. I and every other girl who would participate knew this pageant was nothing more than a beauty pageant; a popularity contest. That didn’t keep us from dreaming of becoming rich and famous, stop the crying fits, hormones from raging or acting like drama wasn’t our life’s goal and college major. Four days in Southern Idaho and an eight-hour drive to and from gave me plenty of time to practice my talent, an essay. Even then, I knew I had no real physical attributes. Instead, I shoved my fears aside and wrote, rewrote and polished my essay on America until my parents, teachers, and friends repeatedly had to tell me “that’s enough already. You’ll do great.” I made friends, told stories, laughed until snot came out my nose and answered the ever cautious “What happened to make you look that way?” I had the time of my life. I knew I wasn’t going to win because let’s face it, I’m not pretty enough. And just as predicted, I left with “Most Inspirational” and cried ugly tears when I didn’t come home as America’s National Teenager. Looking back, I was a real American teenager. I don't need a pageant to tell me so.
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Aug 9, 2010
Aug 9, 2010 at 9:15 PM UTC
America's National Teenager
The envelope was red, white and blue just like the flag Betsy Ross spent days with bleeding fingers over so many years ago. It was addressed to me from an unknown sender. I was giggly, jumpy. Who would write to me? I wasn’t important. Just a seventh grade nobody stuck in a sparkly purple wheelchair. Mom said I could join. She secretly wanted her outcast of a daughter to have a sense of normalcy during her last fading moments of childhood. I just wanted to have fun. I wasn’t ready to accept that I was different. I knew that I was. The stares told me so but I didn’t want to be. The letter said that I could represent my fine country as America’s National Teenager. Me? All I had to do was show my ability by competing in a scholarship pageant. You know, a beauty pageant except it wasn’t being called so because adults are trying to be sensitive to teenager’s feelings because we’re more likely to be sensitive, emotional and prone to disruptive and potentially harmful outbursts. The perks of being a wallflower. Teenagers, we know this. We’re also not stupid. I and every other girl who would participate knew this pageant was nothing more than a beauty pageant; a popularity contest. That didn’t keep us from dreaming of becoming rich and famous, stop the crying fits, hormones from raging or acting like drama wasn’t our life’s goal and college major. Four days in Southern Idaho and an eight-hour drive to and from gave me plenty of time to practice my talent, an essay. Even then, I knew I had no real physical attributes. Instead, I shoved my fears aside and wrote, rewrote and polished my essay on America until my parents, teachers, and friends repeatedly had to tell me “that’s enough already. You’ll do great.” I made friends, told stories, laughed until snot came out my nose and answered the ever cautious “What happened to make you look that way?” I had the time of my life. I knew I wasn’t going to win because let’s face it, I’m not pretty enough. And just as predicted, I left with “Most Inspirational” and cried ugly tears when I didn’t come home as America’s National Teenager. Looking back, I was a real American teenager. I don't need a pageant to tell me so.
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Nervous streaks Pierce me straight through my very existence. I'm in shatters. Frightened. The signs point to a good day. This process, No stranger to me, Causes me and agonizing anticipation. This process, A known danger to me, I can't let this slip. In my thoughts, These explosions are minuscule. Calm down, You jumpy cells This might be alright.
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Dec 28, 2010
Dec 28, 2010 at 5:55 AM UTC
Nervous System
this is very jumpy. i have been up for 24 hours. i don't know There are miles between us on the queen sized bed and all I know right now is words words words and nothing spilling from chapped lips. Passion and lust and I need you's coming out in the form of long kisses and hands-on-my-chest types of expressionism. This isn't the kind of dizzy your momma warned you about. Deep sea swimming inside your head and I'm trying to figure out a way to mean more than just someone you want in your bed. There's a tug at the bottom of my navel pulling me away from the edge, but I've already dived in. Sparks flew where your careful fingers met my hip bones, but lightning struck where your feelings for me lay and with a thunder clap they were gone as fast as rain slides down a window. The night I found out I was not important to you, regret was just a knot in my throat. But now, it is a hand choking my heart. How beautiful it would be for you to understand just how much I miss you. I only wanted someone to hold me like I was the source of every bit of his happiness. This wasn't love but it sure as hell felt like it, or more like it than my hand being guided to the zipper of your jeans. I can't think much else beyond 'I miss you' and it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Why can't I write about anything or anyone but you? I still can't shake the notion that this is a feeling best tried to outrun. Our story is a half-packed suitcase. I will tell myself that this is going to be okay, that I am going to be okay. Even though I really think it won't be.
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Jun 26, 2013
Jun 26, 2013 at 10:09 AM UTC
four a.m. knows my secrets
this is very jumpy. i have been up for 24 hours. i don't know There are miles between us on the queen sized bed and all I know right now is words words words and nothing spilling from chapped lips. Passion and lust and I need you's coming out in the form of long kisses and hands-on-my-chest types of expressionism. This isn't the kind of dizzy your momma warned you about. Deep sea swimming inside your head and I'm trying to figure out a way to mean more than just someone you want in your bed. There's a tug at the bottom of my navel pulling me away from the edge, but I've already dived in. Sparks flew where your careful fingers met my hip bones, but lightning struck where your feelings for me lay and with a thunder clap they were gone as fast as rain slides down a window. The night I found out I was not important to you, regret was just a knot in my throat. But now, it is a hand choking my heart. How beautiful it would be for you to understand just how much I miss you. I only wanted someone to hold me like I was the source of every bit of his happiness. This wasn't love but it sure as hell felt like it, or more like it than my hand being guided to the zipper of your jeans. I can't think much else beyond 'I miss you' and it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Why can't I write about anything or anyone but you? I still can't shake the notion that this is a feeling best tried to outrun. Our story is a half-packed suitcase. I will tell myself that this is going to be okay, that I am going to be okay. Even though I really think it won't be.
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Do you know That you belong to me? That every molecule That you consist of Is property in my name? Hair on your arms, The length of your throat, That fallen eyelash lying Quietly on your golden cheek. All mine. I’m happy to own the way You walk into a room On long legs, lean and sinister. I have rights to that smile Curving at the corners, Revealing Slightly crooked, still perfect, teeth. All mine. And in your arms, You belong to me. Your hands surrounding My jumpy skin And sliding over me, Turning me into some sort of Lazy ****** beast. Your brazen curiosity. All mine. You claim, you feel You hold, you cradle All of me within a glance. You touch, you give, You crave, you taste All of me within a kiss. You overpower, You own, You possess My every movement And I give in so easily. All mine. All yours.
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Jan 17, 2010
Jan 17, 2010 at 2:04 PM UTC
Scaled Romance.
Euphoria has a habit, Of making me, Restless, jumpy, But not in the same way, The paranoia does, This time, I'm filled with something, Lighter than air, I'm to awake, Too alive, To sleep, Gravity cannot hold me, In my chair, Or keep my feet, On the ground, And my mind, From the clouds, The rarest thing of all: A smile, a laugh, That for once, Is utterly genuine, Not feigned in the least, Because I'm beyond, Euphoria
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Jan 23, 2011
Jan 23, 2011 at 11:22 AM UTC
Euphoria
Wash          *Away the memories of how         We tangled together         Like the perfect sailor’s knot         An organized intricacy           Coalescing my jumpy nerves         With your easy laughter* Rinse *The weight of your fingers          Imprinted on my scalp          A heartbreaking muscle memory         Fingers that once ran through my hair         Run to another’s touch* Repeat *This sadistic cycle of erasure          Hoping one day forgetting          Won’t be a conscious thought          That shower shall set me free.*
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Aug 16, 2013
Aug 16, 2013 at 3:43 PM UTC
Subliminal Shampoos
My demons cannot be found under my bed They are not hiding in my closet Or dwelling in my basement They used to be there when I was young I was thirteen years old when that changed They slithered up my neck and gnawed through to my brain Curling around it and sinking their claws in Their eyes resting behind my eyelids Their forked tongues controlling my words They became a part of me A disgusting ugly part I gave them different names Anxiety Depression Borderline Anxiety is the smallest of the bunch Crimson like blood Always jumpy Always ready to ruin my day Depression is a real ****** Pitch black from head to toe Beady eyes always filled with tears He tells me daily that I’m not good enough I believe him Borderline is by far the ugliest She is scaly and green with long sharp talons that are always covered in blood Milky white eyes She makes me blind to all of the love that I receive Ugly mood swings and whispers of, “They’re going to leave,” I wish she would just go away I’m sixteen now and they’re still there My brain being ripped to shreds by their talons They are dark and they are evil but I will not let them **** me I am a fighter I can slay these demons Even if it takes years I know I have what it takes
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Aug 23, 2016
Aug 23, 2016 at 10:18 PM UTC
My Demons
Oopy Doopy, Super Sloopy. Loopy snoopy, pants apoopy. Lippy hippy, slippy dippy. Nasty-nicey, normally snippy. Loosey goosey, chocolate moussey. Usually *** goofy as Gary Busey. Hinky-stinky presidential ***** Winky-blinky, dangerously stinko. Hippity hoppy, flippy-floppy Get a mop, it never stops. Laughy gaffe-y, riffy-raffy Face as gross as rotten taffy. Whammy-bammy, scary scammy Mammy-jamming Uncle Sammy. Lumpy-dumpy, far from humpy ******* up future jumpy bumpy. Glossy boss, a frightful loss Ungathered moss at twice the cost. Serious gap while the country naps ****** sap giving us a slap. Frightening nooses tightening, Rights denied like summer lightning. Ignoring Popes and Snopes Hopeless dopes put us on the ropes. Immune to our cries, elected guys Make horrifying decisions most unwise. Like black magic before all our eyes We’re leaderless as freedom dies.
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Jan 9, 2017
Jan 9, 2017 at 5:43 AM UTC
FLIBBER FLABBER
Catch a falling star on your tongue soak in the gaseous matter millions of years of history and marination long ago careers were optional fictional we picked apples and drank milk big n strong farm folk tire swings and moonshine tractor disasters Ford made robots of robots gym class saw mills ashes to ashes well hello there my jumpy friend not enough sulphur in your supper? Tatted body guards in grass skirts hubba hubba let the shayman give us some insight fire side and full of hallucinogens we will see the future and past simultaneously martians will be proud shame on you jumpy junior mince the words like horror-flick killers jack of all trades let this be the silk road to tradition.
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Jun 11, 2012
Jun 11, 2012 at 4:22 PM UTC
Wayne's World
Where I’m From I am from mosquito lotion From Burt’s Bees and soft jazz. I am from dancing with my grandfather on the wooden floor (My feet, bare, pink with tiny toes Stepping on his shiny shoes as we twirled.) I am from the rainy mornings The hiding places Where no one thinks to look, And I sit and wait - alone but not lonely. I am from the indecisiveness and good humour From the boy who owned only wooden shoes and the lady with the diamonds I’m from forget me nots, And the kiss me goodnights. I’m from the hurt knees and Starry Starry Nights With a special dedication to you And I’ll believe in what I want to, thank you very much. I am from the middle seat to the left of the dinner table, Second-is-best and Jollibee. From the comfortable silence To the “authentic” family ghost stories. The childhood my father gave up to be able to grow up And support his family. I am from the crumbly track, Fastening sharp spikes on the bottom of my shoes, The jumpy nerves as I approach my starting block. From the thump of my heart, my shoes slapping the ground in a rhythm I know so well. From the rush, the thrill of crossing that finish line. Watching the day surrender to night, my team stands beside me. And still I am running On my shelf I keep a blank notebook Waiting to be filled with secret fears, adventures and bigger-than-life dreams. No one knows it exists. If they find it, they’ll know I want to escape. I am from these fitful nights, The toss and turn but don’t wake me ups. The wanting to be a dream catcher, not just a dream passerby. In dreams I find no one molding me for a legacy, for a perfect GPA, for a successful future; Complete control.
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Jul 19, 2012
Jul 19, 2012 at 11:14 AM UTC
Where I'm From
Where I’m From I am from mosquito lotion From Burt’s Bees and soft jazz. I am from dancing with my grandfather on the wooden floor (My feet, bare, pink with tiny toes Stepping on his shiny shoes as we twirled.) I am from the rainy mornings The hiding places Where no one thinks to look, And I sit and wait - alone but not lonely. I am from the indecisiveness and good humour From the boy who owned only wooden shoes and the lady with the diamonds I’m from forget me nots, And the kiss me goodnights. I’m from the hurt knees and Starry Starry Nights With a special dedication to you And I’ll believe in what I want to, thank you very much. I am from the middle seat to the left of the dinner table, Second-is-best and Jollibee. From the comfortable silence To the “authentic” family ghost stories. The childhood my father gave up to be able to grow up And support his family. I am from the crumbly track, Fastening sharp spikes on the bottom of my shoes, The jumpy nerves as I approach my starting block. From the thump of my heart, my shoes slapping the ground in a rhythm I know so well. From the rush, the thrill of crossing that finish line. Watching the day surrender to night, my team stands beside me. And still I am running On my shelf I keep a blank notebook Waiting to be filled with secret fears, adventures and bigger-than-life dreams. No one knows it exists. If they find it, they’ll know I want to escape. I am from these fitful nights, The toss and turn but don’t wake me ups. The wanting to be a dream catcher, not just a dream passerby. In dreams I find no one molding me for a legacy, for a perfect GPA, for a successful future; Complete control.
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So, my dear I have some things I'd like to tell you. I hope you choke on every word of this poem. Where to begin? When I was dying on the inside, You took advantage of me Decoded my feelings, Bullied me all the way to second base And beyond How can you be so naïve That you can convince yourself That this was my fault? I guess you've got everyone else fooled, too. Nobody knows the truth. Mom thinks I'm jumpy because I'm energetic. Dad thinks I don't sleep well at night Because I sleep too late in the morning. They don't know it is because I feel ***** Because of you. But who would believe me? I already lied for you, Saying you took advantage of me, But telling them I still said yes willingly The first time you asked. If I told and you knew, You would deny it avidly, saying "It's not like I ***** you or anything." And "It's not like I forced you." You're right. I've done my homework. It's called indecent assault And coercion. But I still can't bring myself to call it that, Or to tell anyone. So honey, you're pretty **** lucky That it took me four months to understand That what you did to me is wrong.
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Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 12:02 AM UTC
Honey
i do not speak like a poet. my words are clumsy and callous and i often trip over my own tongue. there is no beauty to my words or thought to my form, and my voice does not fall soft and slow like honey song, drizzled sweetly into willing ears. rather it is raspy and quick-tongued, laced with mispronounced words and oddly said accents. my sentences race ragged and jumpy, with capricious contours and half-finished phrases, and i often lose my train of thought. impulsive and unrefined, i do not speak like a poet. — but on paper i am a different person
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Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 1:31 AM UTC
i do not speak like a poet
Layered. Say you didn't know these were complex. (sonnet #MMMMMMCCXXXVII) Blue skies peer thinly twixt the whiter tale Of clouds whose stringy webs mask what, from hence? The warming golden light half bleak, a sense I maunt put down stalks through all that'd avail. Ne shadows nor a flirting breath t'exhale By even halves and I am jumpy, whence What daffodils might nod can own intents While folk tell April Fools jokes like we've bail. Did I complain oer...jonquils' yellow tour Of frilly heads and purple hy'cinth too? Yes. I said even ******* laundry's...poor, Sith Mum is buried. Taen from me now, who Shall pity? Sparrows e'en too distant fer Aught smiles, I wonder if a man'd now woo. 01Apr17c
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Apr 15, 2017
Apr 15, 2017 at 12:46 AM UTC
And "Flesh and Blood Can NOT Inherit--"
So anxious I'm jumpy, Internally deflated and still hoping. So disappointed I don't want to care. But if you came calling I'd still answer in a heart beat.
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Jun 22, 2013
Jun 22, 2013 at 3:50 AM UTC
Weak