"juicer" poems
Medusa's juicer
Used to confuse her -
The instructions
She said
Were obtuse.
By the snakes for hair
round my petrifying face
I swear that
This juicer's no use.
May 16, 2014
May 16, 2014 at 4:47 PM UTC
In this household there’s far too much noise!...your mobile, your pager, your palmtop, your laptop, your desktop, your land-line, your radio, your plasma screen, your mp3, your ***** driver, your GPS, your audio-books, your lawn-mower, your toothbrush, your stereo, your play-station, your VCR, your hairdryer, your podcasts, your DVD player, your digital clock, your analogue clock, your juicer, my ******** your drill...
Feb 24, 2010
Feb 24, 2010 at 10:11 AM UTC
"The problem is that if you put a green
pepper in with a tomato, it turns brown."
Why not try an onion?
I ask myself as the conversation passes me
on the stairwell
Roommates wake each other up now
juicing
You can't argue with juicer that their new
obsession will not make them live to 120
or experience life on a knife's edge
Maybe our brains aren't that large, after all
Nov 22, 2012
Nov 22, 2012 at 11:45 PM UTC
you know you miss someone when you can taste them,
but you've never before
on the back of your tongue
wet bones in your mind
soft, skeletal, unreal
i'm feeling you now, somewhere between my forehead and eyes
makes for interesting dreams
and frequent days without food.
it hasn't been too bad
i've only lied a few times
maybe six or so
and thought of you hardly ever.
(i'm hoping that makes up for everything else i've been thinking about)
a six pack should hold me over until i can clock more hours
until then, i'm a cigarette ****
and a half-chewed burger: **** i don't eat meat."
seconds accumulate the same way dust will
my breath isn't strong enough to blow it all away
that's why i asked you so many questions
should've used the rear view mirrors before they broke....oh well.
something in the air tells me you don't like me back
that your plump sides
drooling lips are really nothing but an anecdote
and everything i've forced myself to feel for you is nonsense
blended in a juicer, foamy like a latte
nonsense
Feb 6, 2011
Feb 6, 2011 at 6:10 PM UTC
it rained yesterday
and i spent
three hundred dollars
on a ******* juicer.
because i think
like a goldfish
that forgets
every five seconds. or is
that ********
is it every three seconds?
but regardless
i know i can juice orange
and celery and apple
and a nice spice
like cinnamon
or ginger
to make the perfect drink.
**** it.
ill save three hundred
and by the perfect drink
every night
for two dollars
and fifty cents.
a *** and pineapple
or ***** tea
or sanity
and lime.
and talk to someone.
anyone i wish
about ****
and ****
and ****
****
Mar 11, 2011
Mar 11, 2011 at 7:32 AM UTC
I thought about you this morning &
wondered about so many things.
Did you sleep well or spin in between your sheets,
dream of anything special, mind draw a blank,
drink strong coffee, spiced-tea or have neither?
Perhaps you’re a juicer, do you fancy
carrots or strawberries or both?
Enjoy two Eggs Benedict or three scrambled,
have whole wheat toast or rye, some nutritious
granola crunch with a bit of soy milk?
Did you partake in a quick steamy-shower or
draw a soothing hot bath with lit candles & soft-jazz?
I’m wondering if you wore your hair
up in a bun or let it fall down,
all round your pretty angel face?
Did you apply make-up or
go Au Naturel, frown
putting on lipstick & smile
getting dialed in
for the start of a brand new day?
Did you dress to the nines or go business-like,
perhaps a trip to the gym for a spot of yoga?
Did you drive your earthy VW-bug or rev up the sporty Saab,
take the trolley, ride the moped, or hop on a bike?
Where you late to your work or
did you get there early enough
so you’d have plenty of time
to think about me?
I think about that too.
Jan 18, 2014
Jan 18, 2014 at 11:55 AM UTC
he's such a sweet
such a sweet old man
he's a treat even though his feet smell like dead meat
an old ham
such a sweet old man
still ain't taking no **** wooden nickels!
his hands and creases smell like really dill pickles...
or pickle juice, as he says, because pickles make their own juice
i swear he thinks cucumbers are made from pickles
i haven't the heart to tell him and ruin his heaven waiting
a place where you don't have to buy pickles to get good pickle juice
such a sweet old man
10 dead animals living with him, if you include his wife, and the 3 dead rats in the traps
the other dead animals didn't matter anyhow...
they were all HER pets, just as he once was her pet
he's also going to die soon
and not matter
it doesn't bother the sweet old man one bit though
what bothers him is losing his pickle juicer when his wife died
he was sure he put it the root cellar...
on the 17th floor
of the hospital he lives in now
i haven't the heart to tell him and ruin his heaven waiting
such a sweet old man deserves heaven
the magnitude of the real pickle juice alone, that was better than pickle juice from the old days
when pickles were pure and pickle juice didn't have vinegar!
made that sweet old man's eyes light up and his heart flutter
he giggled, then he died so gently
such a sweet old man
dying gently
such a sweet old man
never did take no **** wooden nickels!
old ham
life never hurt him and death gently tickles
Sep 27, 2021
Sep 27, 2021 at 9:33 PM UTC
I hope its a Saturday.
I would start by waking up before you do
(since I'm always the last one up)
and I'd cook you breakfast in bed.
It seems simple I know, but I'd start early
at, like, 7 am
and cook every kind of pancake and egg I could imagine.
Like eggs in a basket or cinnamon bun pancakes,
or maybe just the buttermilk kind.
I would tap the maple tree out back
and boil up a batch of the sweetest maple syrup
you had ever tasted.
Every time you would taste syrup after this,
you would think of me and this morning.
Then I would cook up all of the bacon I could find
until it turned black and crispy
(too burnt for me, but I know you like it that way).
I'd pull all of the mangoes and oranges and grapefruit out of the fridge,
and use that Jack LaLanne Power Juicer,
you know,
the one that we haven't used since it arrived on our porch.
There will be too much pulp for you,
but you'll drink it anyway.
I would finish up by brewing your favorite coffee-
isn't it that Columbian kind?-
and wake you with the smell wafting through the apartment
(like those Maxwell House commercials).
You would come downstairs wondering what was going on,
and where I was,
since I am never out of bed before you.
And you would see a table covered in food
with me ironing all of your work shirts for the next week.
It would be so **** we'd make love right there,
on the dining room floor
ignoring the food that was quickly becoming too cold to enjoy.
And then I would erase it all
and leave you.
Jan 4, 2012
Jan 4, 2012 at 7:18 PM UTC
outside
Steven sits on his
swing set
wondering
wondering
he calls to his dog Juicer
but he doesn't answer
only the wind
in the old pepper tree
makes a requiem of
filth
for that
filthy dog
dog
But isn't dog
mans
best
fiend?
Jun 7, 2010
Jun 7, 2010 at 10:34 AM UTC
Okay Jeff what have you brought in today.
Today Mary I’m going to show you the super juicer.
That’s a big one Jeff.
It sure is Mary, total satisfaction guaranteed.
What does it do Jeff.
Take this banana Mary, place it in the juicer.
What about the melons Jeff.
They’re a handful Mary, watch this.
My god Jeff, what a device.
See how it came there Mary.
Right Jeff, what can it do with pears.
Well Mary, I place the cream on the pears, what do you get.
Ecstasy Jeff, that hits the spot.
Now Mary, you may think this is just a juicer, but try it in this position.
My god Jeff.
Did it hit the spot Mary.
Did it ever.
What would you pay for a juicer like this Mary.
I would pay the earth Jeff.
Also Mary, there are three different speeds.
My god Jeff, horizontal, semi squat, and comatose.
Can you afford not to buy this Mary.
I can’t Jeff, it’s mine.
Mary, Mary come back, you can’t take it home with you
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 10:40 AM UTC
lead me to temptation
you little bully of tequila, you're better than that, she whispered in my ear
and I decided to take it up a notch, that I did
and you hit the sweet spot for a little while and that is more than alight
take a large huff and puff and then win a game, you nectar ******* juicer ready to pounce on wheat bread, ha
lay it out and lay in on, lay the spicy mustard on the pastrami, please
please, and thank you, please and thank you
there's a song where they call them the magic words
and boy oh boy, isn't that a charming notion
Jan 11, 2017
Jan 11, 2017 at 10:35 PM UTC
William makes fruit shake,
William takes pears,
William puts pears in juicer,
William Shakespeare.
Neil arms weak,
Neil goes to gym,
Neil does dumb bells,
Neil Armstrong.
18/5/2020
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020 at 8:12 AM UTC