"judgers" poems
I find the black
A pit of false safety
She yanks me out with her nasally voice
"You look pale"
I always look pale, why do you care now
"Go"
I take as long as possible to reach the destination I dread
Eyes stare at me calculating
I prefer to be invisible
"You have a headache"
"Not really" I just feel so light I could float away
"You look like you're in pain, want to lie down"
"Sure" less time in class, I hate children, peers, tormentors, judgers
I turn to my temporary escape
"Did you have breakfast"
**** I hesitate, barely, they notice
"Here, eat these"
A packet of crackers "Thanks"
Nibble one to humor them as I go
In the trash as soon as I leave
Spitting out what I didn't swallow
I lie down still so they forget I'm here
Clutching my head and my stomach
Finding the black
And wishing to be anyone else
Wanting to once and for all get rid of myself
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 8:59 PM UTC
check in at the library, my card scanned,
per the terms of my sentencing agreement
to the poetry shelves dispatched.
row after row, book after book,
all blank awaiting my affections,
all demanding my sensei sensations,
seeking a creme filling of honorations,
words of all shape, roots and origins,
the occasional new combination
some, never heard before, timelessly awaiting expulsion
from the birth-vocal canal where comes origination,
but for me, death by enforced creativity,
that’s what the judgers desired,
a punishment that fits the crime
*my misdeed record unsealed, intended for
world envisioning, the ego audacity to imagine
I could write a single good poem,
thus the punishment fits the crime*
may1 9:19am ‘19
May 1, 2019
May 1, 2019 at 11:47 AM UTC
We are all sinners
We all have shame
Some just hide it better
But it's all the same
Its easy to be
In a nice sheltered life
And judge other people
For misunderstood strife
The fact of the matter is
You dont know what you'd do
If an awful, life changing
Decision confronted you
Is not passing judgement
A wrong in its self?
What gives anyone the right
To judge someone else?
No one wrong
Is worse than another
So perhaps we should all shut up
And not preach at each other
Come tell me about it
When your kid's starving and you have to steal
Or you're twelve, knocked up
And now life's real
Tell me about it when you've grown up
Dirt poor and lost hope
So in order to keep sanity
You get hooked on some dope
Tell me about it when you get *****
And you have to make a choice
But the people keep trying
To shut you up and take your voice
That's right folks,
No one is more wrong or sinful than the other
We were all created equal
Sisters and brothers
We are ALL sinners
We ALL have shame
Some just hide it better
But it's all the same
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 2:19 PM UTC
soft ruins play through the hands of your silky palms
whats here now has now gone
nobody can come up with a definition to explain to me how exactly this could be wrong
even though I have actually seen it all along
from time to time I remember the bitter notion,
how you let me dip myself in that bitter potion
and theyre the ones left to deal with all the mingled distoration
poor they for they are the ones who helped antagonize the poor mice
how you let them roll their own dice , and never once did it
land on anything more than 4
left them there all ****** up and high
although they fed them all the plumbs they wanted
never the less they were daunted
mingling monstrosities venture into this cannabis along with the other creeps
and that too isnt even good anymore
audotioning to be the perfect everything we all fail every single time
until it comes to that one audition when that person says she is perfect she is the one
but I'm sorry audtionors judgers and the court but for now I'm done
done for I have weaved my own little special web
I make my own fiery bread
and I dance naked in public in the vast imagination in my head
your words and their cares are the last of the last of my concerns the ones that are meant not to exsist
folding into peice by peice slowly streaming myself down the walls of this euphoric abyss
I met this boy one time who had this little lisp
he sat close to me and explained a lot of things I didnt know
years years and more years later they in a way helped me grow
you might not be able to tell me happy birthday next year
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010 at 7:58 PM UTC
I have many flaws about me, some are worse than others. I do things to anger people purposeful and not. I don't always express myself or emotions in the best way, yet I try to catch myself. I'm not always happy with my self image and can be depressed. I do try to deal with my stresses and anxiety the way I can, but it doesn't seem so to others. I've not always made the best decisions, but thought they were at the time. Some were of pure stupidity, but only fault of my own.My anger can get the best of me verbally, and am regretful. I know I'm not perfect, but can admit it!!!
However, I don't try to change others as they try me. I try to give wholeheartedly, asking little in return. I try to hear both sides of things, yet I fall on deaf ears!! I try to keep open minded, even if I'm closed out against. Ive had stones cast at me from my Judgers, but am in the wrong for defending myself. I ask to be accepted as who I am, yet bend to change to the will of others. I am driven back to a corner, yet I try to be kind!!
I am human, flawed, imperfect, and with faults! I am full of love and affection when not forced to betray myself! I am only walking this world as anyone else! I AM ME!
Aug 30, 2015
Aug 30, 2015 at 12:59 PM UTC
I shot for the moon for you , and only landed among the horizon of space.
I promised that I'd be there for you when you come back .
But it aches.
The pain of losing you into a black hole.
A distance and a galaxy far away from you,
feels never endless ,
and nevertheless,
hardened by the earth's atmospheric pressure trapping me into a haze of emotions.
We take our lives for advantage,
We take each other's hand for warmth .
Yet,
All we can do is wait .
Wait in the suffering ,
of unforeseen futures,
taunted by others ,
neglected by more . ...
We never cared ,
Our love meant more than the words of pessimist and judgers ,
We walked hand in hand with each new war that came to us the next hour .
Yet you were always there for me ,
Your hand in mine.
Mine in yours .
As it will be when you come back ,
Forever and always
Through depths of space ,
and the distant future .
Landing me, among the stars .
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 29, 2016 at 10:35 AM UTC
So if you knew i wear spike jewerly,
if you only knew how obnoxious i really am,
if you only knew the mistakes ive made,
if you only knew half the people i hang out with,
if you only knew the scars i show'd you,
how would you think of me?
If you only knew my grades, sports, and all the activities ive done,
if you only knew the times i've stood up for thoose people labeld as friends,
if you only knew the smiles upon my face,
how would you think of me?
So when i enter your sight i beg of you, no that would be a lie i expect you to not label me, because for all you know, i could be just as good,
or just as bad,
or even worse,
or even better,
than you.
Feb 8, 2013
Feb 8, 2013 at 9:36 PM UTC
Still Down
Up late again,
wasn’t my intention,
had froyo with an old friend,
it felt like an intervention,
well then,
I admit I’m an addict,
but I’m also okay with it,
because I actually planned this,
to return to Hollywood,
to pay respects to my home town,
let them know that I’m way up,
but still always down,
up late,
with some fellow insomniacs,
no time for Judgers just good times with Lovers,
so high you hold me and we both catch a contact,
honest,
sonnets my Dear Watson all this is elementary,
we’re on this,
the evidence of our presence as medicine is self evidentuary,
eventually,
everything will be everything,
but until that time we’re on top of The Hill,
with songs that sound like ones that Heaven sings,
we see things,
way up here the wind is blowing,
the windows are rattling,
dogs bark lights out only the distant lights are glowing,
anyways what was the point of this poem,
maybe it was to give you insight so you’d lose your judgements,
maybe I don’t have I have a point maybe I’m just high,
maybe it doesn’t matter either way maybe not all art needs a subject,
I’m not your subject,
I’m not here for the amusement of the public,
I’m not here to talk about politics,
I don’t even want to discuss it,
I’m done with,
words that are only temporary,
either write them down or sing them loud,
life’s too short for for uncommitted commentary,
uncommitted to any passive adversaries is the reason why I haven’t married,
only Super Solid Honest Constants only the degree varies,
honest,
sonnets my Dear Watson all this is elementary,
we’re on this,
the evidence of our presence as medicine is self evidentuary,
and anyways,
yeah I’m high I’m writing my 7th book,
I planned this whole thing out,
then moved forward without a 2nd thought or look,
look,
up late again,
wasn’t my intention,
had froyo with an old friend,
it felt like an intervention,
well then,
I admit I’m an addict,
but I’m also okay with it,
because I actually planned this,
to return to Hollywood,
to pay respects to my home town,
let them know that I’m way up,
but still always down…
∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆
The HH Trilogy Vol. 2
available worldwide here: www.amazon.com/dp/B07141ZNW6
May 12, 2017
May 12, 2017 at 8:34 PM UTC
You ain't going to listen to anything I tell you
unless something
with my mind moves
be mindful
mind fools
I
used two
when eyes close
the one eye rules
last night I dreamed
in 1080 P
Both eyes closed
Some how I
always see
Nothing that
has to do with me
I look different
Like I?...I?...I?
3 different
views
Mind, Body, Soul,
Insufficient
Watched the preview
The vision of
The vision
Unadulterated precision
Now it's division
Split screen
Black and white
And colorful
All kinds of hues
Spewed within contrast
Strewed
Better being first or last
The first through
Does not last
The last is late
But recognizes
Every previous mistakes
Such a nice guy
So mean
With what it takes
Can't you see?
It's the update
The new improved
An upgrade
The evolved
A scope
Why I be up late
For certain
The days are fake
Y'all can't relate
I'm in a hole Different place
Message displayed
I hope the last
Can learn from
My mistakes
Get to a higher
Level and control the stage
My autonomous faith
Causes the non judgers
To say
judgmental per say
I just say Touché
Aug 26, 2017
Aug 26, 2017 at 12:13 PM UTC
Three groups
The judgers
The judged
and careless ones
The members of the first group
think they are perfect
when they are liars
in their path to power they
have dragged others down
to hide their own insecurities
The Members of the middle group
are lead to believe that they are broken and useless
but are lying to themselves
for they are the ones who will change the world
The members of the last group
claim they are impartial to the words of others
they too are lying
For their group
simply does not exist
Three groups
Three lies
Where do you belong?
How do you lie?
Oct 9, 2017
Oct 9, 2017 at 2:47 PM UTC
Her actions were bad but her thoughts were even badder. She didn’t accept herself but grew to understand. She was shy, experienced and respectful. She didn’t understand your evils, she didn’t accept your bad decisions. She was a Judger and in this world Judgers were very high ranked. It was hard to know what she was thinking but it even more difficult to ignore her shaky hands. Her understanding stare. Her unknowing moves and her confusing voice. We all thought she was crazy. I mean thats what they've taught us to see…right? I didn’t get it though. I did not understand how she was seen as bad and others were seen as good. The others didn’t know, they hadn't experienced truth so they couldn't understand it. Thats the problem here, people act as if they know everything but they haven't been through anything in order to understand it. Truth is complicated. Everyone acts as if they know the truth but yet they are nowhere near to truth. The truth is kind, understanding and harsh, most go crazy just looking into the eyes of truth. Truth is my king, my soul and my life. How do I know if my truth is the right version of truth? I don’t. But I do know that I know this world better than those that claim they are all knowing. How can you be all knowing? There is no such thing. If you were all knowing then time would end and your life would be answered. but its not and your confused still and thats what is the miracle of this life.
The people of my lands believe in love and hatred. They believe that both combined make up the truth and if both hatred and love work together then peace will come to us. I pray and long for a time when I am in peace. When my family, my friends and my followers are in peace. I hope for my enemies and my strangers to be in peace. I pray for peace in those who hurt and in those who have been hurt. I hope for peace to be shed out in every living creature whether worth it or not. Because in the end what being gets to decide who is worth it? No one. No one should have the power to decide when to end another's life.
Aug 15, 2015
Aug 15, 2015 at 7:13 AM UTC