Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Poetic T Jul 2015
An urban legend of sorts they said, of a tree, of a
branch that took any weight given. it has nickname
It had a place in secluded nature where no one seen.

"The *** tree,

"Really,

"Ye but you have to watch your step,

"Why??

"Well lets just say its a well fertilized ground,
"The earth and plants feed well on the,
"Sap,
"Seeds,

Not from one but the many, I heard the branch
Can take any weight, a gentlemen of plentiful weight
Tested the legend and got stuck **** naked
Not for a,

"Moment,
"Minute,
"Hours,

"Was he stuck, birthday suit and all,

His lady friend had jogged off with wallet and all,
Its on YouTube,
Called tree hugger nudist,

There is loads of dents little *** holes,
Some say its all the ***** *******,
So many hard ones poking dents,
indentations forever of ******* against this tree.

"I've been their done that,

Really,

"Never again,
"Were standing on this branch,
"What's that look for,

"Nothing,
(Giggles under breathe)

"Getting into the moment,
"Thought sap,
"Tree sap,
"Was seeping in to my hair,

"Don't stop what happened stuck,
"Pants down skinny **** man up tree,
(giggles loudly)

"Dude I'm 6 foot 5inches,
It was sap of a different kind,

(Gags in mouth)

No Fudging way,

Yep that's not the worst,

"How the hell does some one seed a tree that high,

"It was like the tree was ******* itself,

"Old juice, sap, Klingon,
"What ever I throw up on her,
She bit down,
I, we feel three feet out the tree,

"So that's what the plaster cast is from,
"Is that why your walking funny,

Twenty nine stitches its like something
From a Frankenstein film,

Never again my friend a bed is where ill be from
Now on, she fell in a puddle of Jib juice triplets
She had all three different, DNA tests on all
Who visited the tree.
As a video recorded of all who entered,
Just not the naked bits seen.

"Nature can keep its *** tree,
   "I'll be lucky if mine works again,
"Mine isn't wood its a limp branch now,

"Dude you got ****** by wood,
"Bitten limp by teeth,
"Unlucky bro,
"Hahahahah,
*"Rather you than me,
She says, "Give it to me",
so I do.
She says, "Do it harder",
so I did.
She commands, "Go faster",
I obey.
She begins to moan,
as she smiles.
This is it,
a Sunday night,
a holy day.
She begs for more,
Then I ******.
Copyright Barry Pietrantonio
Basquiat brushes
dribbles bulbous breakdance blues
gilding hip hop walls

Dolphy ****** white jazz
welling crank pipe smoked black lungs
on poppin stickmen

Lorca be mute, vexed
with syllabic conundrums
mal haiku riddles

Eric Dolphy:
God Bless the Child

Federico Garcia Lorca
The Little Mute Boy


Oakland
3/6/13
jbm
kirk Aug 2017
the farmer always smells
he's always drinking bells
hi ** the derelict
the farmer always smells

the farmer ****** his wife
it was the **** of his life
hi ** the ***** ****
the farmer ****** his wife

the wife ****** the help
she made the butler yelp
hi ** it must be good
the wife ****** the help

the butler shagged the nurse
it was the butlers curse
hi ** the nurse was old
the butler ****** the nurse

the nurse shagged the horse
he had a big **** of course
hi ** her **** was wide
the nurse shagged the horse

the horse it had the cow
I'm not quite sure how
hi ** nice udders
the horse had a cow

the cow it had the dog
it was a real hard slog
hi ** the stupid cow
the cow had the dog

the dog ******* the cat
it had a tiny ****
hi ** the ***** was nice
the dog ******* the cat

the cat ******* the mouse
it ran inside the house
hi ** the mouse was ******
the cat ******* the mouse

the mouse was covered in cheese
out of the cat it was a squeeze
hi ** all ****** on
the mouse was covered in cheese

the cheese was on their *****
that stuff really sticks
hi ** everyone was spunked
the cheese was on their *****

— The End —