"jillian" poems
Hello there to the greatest girl
Everything about you sends my mind for a whirl
I bet you weren’t expecting that rhyme
I hope it won’t be considered a crime (excellent vocab)
Well I hope you enjoy every poem I write for you
bringing you great joy and happiness is what i strive to do
I believe the girl that is the best of the best
deserved to be treated like a princess
Jillian, you are my loving princess, so beautiful and kind
you are better than all them disney princesses combined
It would be as if we were on a magic carpet ride,
I will always want you by my side
Now wouldn’t it be pretty cute
If i just keep making these lines
with the disney princesses as the root?
I think it would be, so lets
As the prince was so determined to find
the beautiful girl that had left her shoe
As am i equally determined
to bring joy to the equivalently beautiful that is you
As the girl that swam like a fish under the sea
sacrificed so much so she could be with her love
As I am just as prepared to make sacrifices
for it to always be you and me
As the love that a man and a woman had was forbidden
yet they did not listen to what others said
As will i love you
No matter what anyone else says
As the beautiful girl and the beast of a man,
did not care about appearance and became together
For she took the time to get to know how great he truly was,
As you did with me.
This i will thank and treasure forever.
As the girl with the flowing blonde hair
and the thief that at first didn’t care,
came together to make an adorable couple,
Well, honestly I just wanted to compare her hair to your hair, they are both FABULOUUUUUUS
So you see Jillian,
I think the world of you.
I know i didn’t get sleeping beauty or snow white,
I just don’t believe you’d be put to sleep or poisoned with fruit.
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 1:13 PM UTC
i said goodbye to the first
part of you in Lawrence
thirteen days ago walking
pastthatantiquemall.itrailed
my fingers on its brick and
thought of you reclaiming
my heart in its basement
and i did not want to turn
into dust, did not feel like
melting into the nearest
gutter. i simply took my
hand from the stone,
continued telling
jillian about how
they closed our
hookah bar,
breathed
the early
fall air.
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014 at 1:38 AM UTC
Blue eyes
brown hair
cat lover
horse rider
directioner
small hands
big lips
open heart
open arms
little sister
cute giggle
perfect hugs
stupid fights
smarty pants
goof ball
little sister
annoying
beautiful
talented
Jillian
Little Sister
Nov 13, 2013
Nov 13, 2013 at 9:52 AM UTC
she left when i was four
no explanation or anything more
it cut me straight to the core
you may think i was too young
to understand but my heart tore
my baby sister she was two
she barely could walk without falling
down onto the floor
now I barely see her
she's growing up too fast
she doesn't remember much of that past
she remembers calling me *****
And that she loved saying "it's purple."
I remember so much more
The smell of my moms sweet perfume
how she always had these really good cookies
her hugs and her kisses
but that day when she left it hurt me so much
because a girl needs her mother
a mother cannot leave her children
but my mom she was different
she never said "Good bye."
She never taught me to fly
she didn't see Jillian become the beaut she is today
she won't be able to see my sixteenth birthday
or be there for graduation
or my wedding
but whatever at least I have my dad
and my little sister
and family and friends
at least i have you guys/girls
because i know if you were going to leave you would at least say
"Good bye."
Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 8:17 AM UTC
Just to speak to you, to explore your innermost thoughts. I wish to know you, to enjoy your company. Less and less I sleep, just thinking about you. Loving the idea of spending time with you, even if it is only for a moment. I believe that moment could spark an idea in your mind. An idea that perhaps we should become better acquainted with each other. Never have I felt such instantaneous attraction at such an unexpected moment.
Oh, how I want to listen to your voice. Hear the soft melody escape your lungs and float gently into my mind. And feel the warmth it offers. It would be a paradise to spend this time with you. Regretfully, you will never know this, for you will never know me. Existing in two different worlds, two different lifestyles, our paths crossed and begin to drift away just as two lines meet, only to be separated once again.
Yes, we will go on to live our own lives, and more than likely, we will be happy. On the other hand, what if out paths met and became one in the same...what could have happened? Unending possibilities emerge and my mind swims with the thought that our meeting was not coincidence. An eternal happiness with one another. Realizing this...it boggles my mind. Excitement overwhelms me as I run through every scenario. Being together...it could have been the best thing to ever happen to us. Each day with you would have been a blessing, another day I would live on this Earth as a happy human being. Adoring you in all your beauty. Unbelievable beauty. This is what you possess. I can only imagine you are as beautiful on the inside as you are in plain sight. For you’ve cast a spell on me and I can’t shake it. Under the stars we would sit, discovering just how perfect we are for each other. Love surrounds us as the world outside fades away.
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 11:26 PM UTC
Sometimes in life
Times get tough, but that doesn't mean Don't Stop Trying.
All you got is on the line--This is the time; You got
Nothing or Everything to lose.
Don't give up, keep on pushing.
In 5 years when you look back, will you be that person in the mirror, like
Nothing you image, or the same person staring back at you?
Go for it, it's all or nothing. *There's a Standing
Ovation for you.* You will come a
Very long ways,
And you will feel GREAT.
To Bob and Jillian, you guys are amazing.
Incredible is just one of the many words to say about you.
Only time can tell how things turn out.
None-the-less, Good Luck to all and Keep it up!
Jan 8, 2011
Jan 8, 2011 at 1:07 PM UTC
I thought I saw my sister
outside the window,
carrying Tel Aviv in her mouth.
Making a bracha with her teeth,
grinding poems and hair,
her jaw opened up and showed the world
boiling behind her molars.
My Vishnu sister, made of words, needing none.
Little and towheaded I’used to pick hair after hair from
my scalp to see what I thought
was a piece of brain at the end.
Sitting in the backyard,
eating fistfuls of grass, ripping bundles of yellow
What you feel is
irrelevant, but
What you taste is
holy
shabbos kodesh
salty mouth dirt
sister mother
yellow tufts of mind
Jun 12, 2011
Jun 12, 2011 at 6:52 AM UTC
I used to bow my head
and fold my hands
and close my eyes
the rules were very important
the game was to play by the rules
to watch your mouth
wear shorts under your dress
never lie
never yell
in dreams
that bearded menace
sat on the Golden skyline
and wrote down
what I had done wrong
the rules I had broken
and screamed my sinners song
into small ears
that night, I climbed the staircase,
I would fly,
I had planned to fly.
every cell lifted me to the top of the
staircase with the eagerness of the adventure
I got to the top
stood on the rail
balanced like a swan
and as my young knees bent
to leap to the sky
above the black lit dark,
I heard that law mans
booming dissent
Jillian, don't play God
and I didn't.
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 2:59 AM UTC
I take her in vein
and trip down miles of wooded watershed
and here she is, in my blood,
set there by instincts of flow.
Rooted now in my flesh,
as a means of cellular cycle,
I take this,
a calming, natural, primal drug.
Her ecstasy and my withdrawal are nothing short of
beautiful experience
and divine addiction,
a breath of euphoria which pains me to look away.
Words dedicated mean little,
fluid and merely symbolic.
The ethereal fountain from which they spring however,
that driving instrument of sense,
have emotional and chemical relevance to her.
Grounded heavily in reality and sobriety
is the humble expression of love.
Jan 29, 2013
Jan 29, 2013 at 9:15 PM UTC
We walk through this world
With all different eyes.
But the way I saw yours
The way they touched mine.
The way I lost myself
The way you'd always help
The way I couldn't tell
What this feeling was.
The way your fingers touched my hair.
The way you mended my heart's tears.
The way my heart fluttered at your smile.
The way the butterflies always flew miles.
The way you touched my skin.
The way I felt your laughs.
The way you held me.
You had my heart in your hands.
Why did you drop it?
The way I felt that hurt
The gut wrenching pain
The cries everyone heard
No one said anything.
They all just stared.
Pity in their eyes.
And watched the way
Your heart crushed mine.
From being so high
And ending so low
How I didn't know
The pain you had bestowed,
Upon me like a spell
Stuck in this cycle.
Never ending tears
Down a waterfall of miles.
The way you caressed me.
The way you kissed me.
It should have been obvious.
My heart so naive,
Left in so much pain.
The way you faked everything.
The Way
You touched me gently
Leaving traces on my skin
I didn't know
You were writing in permanent marker.
Now I can't erase
The markings you've left
Within.
-Memories etched in with a blade.
Jillian Jade
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018 at 5:02 PM UTC
You fell in love with my body
I fell in love with you soul
Somehow when you touched me
You made me feel whole.
I'll stay with you forever
That's what you always said
But what will you do
If I leave you instead?
Will you fight
Will you fall
I guess your love with make that call.
I can never tell if your love is a bluff.
But when I leave I will be sure enough
To know if I'm yours, if you really want me.
Will you hold me
Squeeze me
Kiss me
Love me
Or will you simply let me go.
Would you beg for me to stay
Or let me wonder far away
I guess your love will make that call
One day I'll move on
Your love will be long gone
Fully living your life
With someone's hand to hold
Another soul to crush and mold
Into their broken selves
Forever and Always
-Jillian Jade
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 12:11 AM UTC
The brothers Carmody, Jim and John
Were hooked on the keyboard wars,
While growing up, they’d never got on
It was always, ‘Mine, not yours!’
Jim would destroy his brother’s bed
John was more subtle than that,
He’d battery acid his brother’s clothes,
Burn holes in his favourite hat.
They lived just barely a mile apart
When they both left home for good,
If one ran into the other, then
They’d part in a surly mood,
So each had opened a Facebook page
To put the other one down,
Where Jim said, ‘You can’t control your rage!’
And John said Jim was a clown.
They both got married, their wives joined in
To this internecine war,
‘I hear your Betty’s seen round the town
On a bicycle built for four!’
‘Your Jillian picked up the second prize
When she won a date with you,
The ugliest guy in the neighbourhood
And that was the third prize, too.’
Jim sprayed bleach on his brother’s lawn,
John was as sly as a fox,
One night he crept to his brother’s place
Set fire to his letterbox.
The knives were out, there were no holds barred
‘Til the night of the power blackout,
They each paused over the enter key
With a message to chill them out.
‘I’m ready to bomb your citadel,
And nobody will survive!’
‘My crew is coming to do for you,
You’ll never get out alive!’
They hit the keys as the power went out
The messages couldn’t be traced,
They’d flown unguided from each P.C.
And travelled in cyberspace.
Three hundred years they would float adrift
The Carmody boys, long dead,
With thirteen generations of theirs
Not knowing what each one said.
Their words, unscrambled in outer space
Would alight on an alien shore,
Where the native Rogons got what they wished,
An excuse for planetary war!
‘They’re coming to bomb our Citadel,’
Said the Chief of the Rogons, Vork,
‘We’d better send out our nuclear fleet,
This Earth is sparring for war!’
The fleet set out on their ten year hike
On their mission through hyperspace,
The Orkon Fleet was heading on back,
They’d been to the very same place!
‘They sent a message to us as well,
Were sending a crew to attack,
They said we wouldn’t get out alive,
We couldn’t put up with that!
We blasted Earth to a thousand bits
That are floating out by the stars,
They’ll never be threatening us again…
Come on, we’ll race you to Mars!’
David Lewis Paget
Oct 15, 2013
Oct 15, 2013 at 7:41 AM UTC
Jillian Thyssen Neanderthal
Was short among women:
Only five feet tall.
Magnus *** Loudest
Liked her pheromones:
He picked up this beauty on the way back.......to his cave.
Those crazy **** Erecti were never any good at poetry!!
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 9:29 PM UTC
He saved her
When she didn't want to be saved.
She was on death's bed
Her mind already made.
One last song she wanted to sing
Before she burned in Hell for eternity.
She knew she had lived for far too long
Everyone said she could overcome.
But only she could feel her pain.
No one understood
She would choose to live if she could.
So she sang her song.
A song that sang hello
Because she hated goodbyes.
This way, she could hide her cries.
Her cries in disguise
Her time to say goodbye.
She sang her last note.
But then a good soul came,
Asked her for her name.
Her tongue all tangled up.
A guardian angel
His wings spread wide
Wiped her tears and heard her cries.
So scared to regain hope
But his love helped her cope.
Not a worry in the world.
He did everything he could
To do her heart good.
Just to bring her joy.
When her life was at it's end
A whole new story began.
One's words cannot describe.
Her soul lives on when it could have been gone
Because of a Hello that was meant to be a Goodbye.
-Jillian Jade
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018 at 7:28 PM UTC
the stark contrast of her short hair against her delicate face utterly baffled me, if only for a moment.
I had known her as nothing less than balanced and complete
smooth edges melting into curves and grooves so fine,
a telescope couldn't tell where she started or ended.
years ago we'd held hands as the earth shook under our dusty feet,
locking ourselves in place to watch hopelessly as life as we knew it... crumbled.
without understanding why, I hadn't been afraid
perhaps her uninhabited laughter was my antidote to all things broken.
now, looking out over the marina,
remembering how she giggled as the fish danced sonnets through the currents,
splashing her tanned legs in pure merriment as we watched their undersea show,
I felt like I had made it all up.
maybe her eyes never sparkled as she scolded jillian tarver for her promiscuity
maybe her cheeks didn't warm when I delighted over her paintings in the sunroom.
it was a different dimension, back then, one I had tried to forget -- not because she was an unfavorable memory -- no, because in order to make something of myself, I had to let her go.
that hair...
I always told her how her soft curls drifting across her freckled shoulders would drive men mad, would drive me mad.
she would scoff and pretend to bat at me and tell me she was nothing special; she attempted for all she was worth to convince me she wasn't worthy of my every last affection.
I promised her she was wrong.
not only did I break that promise, but I broke what was left of my ability to care... for anything, for anyone, for myself.
she....
she had three lovely kids and a house on the hilltop with my best friend, and wouldn't you know that she chopped all her hair off and died it black.
I turned from her gaze and resolved to look out at the marina, at my marina, at my spectacle of dead fish dancing for my eyes only.
next time the ground cared to rumble, maybe I should hitch a ride.
Sep 16, 2015
Sep 16, 2015 at 12:58 AM UTC
Splitting apart
Peeling into two.
Too many lies that I've grown up into.
Being ripped in half
A memory of the past
But glass never breaks down the middle.
Broken pieces shattered on the floor
Be careful were you step or you'll get hurt more.
I'm torn down the middle because I can't choose.
I'd rather stay with me than live with you two
Separately
-Divorce from a child's perspective
Jillian Jade
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018 at 1:55 PM UTC
I am driving and it hits me.
No, literally, it hits me
I’m driving and I slam into the back of another car
When I get out to access the damage,
It looks like nothing has even scratched it
Until I get in and the right side blinker is going double its normal speed.
I guess this is the lesson where I learn
That not all broken things are visible from the outside
But, I drive the car anyway
I tell people the broken blinker is just a “bad habit”
Tell them that it wasn’t that bad anyway
Tell them that I still love the car
Why would I get the blinker fixed if I still love the car?
But -
I am so tired of making only left hand turns
What do I do if I try to get it fixed
And they ask what happened?
Do I tell them that my headlights weren’t the only things made of glass?
Do I tell them that loving you was like a magic trick?
Being sawed in half, over and over
Until I felt knives instead of hands when you held me?
Until I tasted someone else when I kissed you?
You were always such a good magician.
Always so good at disappearing
Always so good at being in two places at once
Being in my arms and his bed
Always so good at letting your assistant drown in this tank of water
And then
The show ends
And when the curtain falls, and the audience is sitting there, silent
And there’s no more applause for your stupid escape act
No more for you manipulating your way through these stupid handcuffs
They will ask how you did it
How the magician escaped without a single scratch
But I will not reveal the magician’s secrets.
Instead, I will smile.
I will tell them that you are like a postcard
Dated yesterday, marked “see you later”
How do you break up with a ****** message when you’ve already fallen in love with the view?
How do you leave someone when you can’t unlearn how to see their perfect postcard picture?
And then, again, I’m driving
On my way home from the grocery store and
I’m avoiding using my broken blinker
And I’m turning left, and left, and left
And three lefts dont make a right doesn’t mean that three wrongs do make a right
Or four, or five,
Did you tell him you loved him?
And
I wait for a note
For an “I’m sorry”
For anything
Except you’re just sitting there
And staring
Did you mean it?
Did you mean it
And I drive by your house
And around the whole town
You are there
In my steering wheel,
In my broken blinker,
And underneath my tires
I have not forgotten how to love you yet
But **** it.
I’m trying.
This is your best magic trick yet.
The way this noose still looks like a necklace and
I wait.
And I come up from under the water
And you are not there.
And I am cold
And gasping
Breathless
But
To me,
This is the kindest thing you have ever done.
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 19, 2018 at 9:51 AM UTC
Unpack the worst thing that has ever been said to you, what in their life made them treat you this way? - a prompt given from jillian rabideau's writing live stream
"she's never going to change. she'll never learn"
my mother's eyes on me
stone sea blue-gray and staring right through
i fled round the corner into my room
another round of the same words-the same eyes
the same ways-every goddess ****** day
and that scream
this woman, so hysterical
didn't recognize her child that night
she saw a mirror she couldn't smash
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 9:36 PM UTC
There will come a day
When you will pause
And wonder at the tightness in your throat
The unexplained tears
At just a simple thing,
a bird,
some bread,
that curve in the road
Then you’ll know:
Your heart, too,
Has become porous in time
And though you were unaware,
All along, it was filling up
Each smile,
A small rebuke,
Kneeling down
(The way you did
To help me with my shoe)
Filling up, until...
The day you cry
at the sound of a robin,
An old blanket,
New growth on the tip of evergreens.
The young deer (I saw this morning).
And you’ll be the old fool with watery eyes,
Who cries at the drop of a hat
Your heart’s awkward overflow
Will reveal it’s inability to hold
All you cherish and have loved
As mine reveals
An old, filled-up heart
That overflows
with love
for you.
May 20, 2019
May 20, 2019 at 4:42 PM UTC
i once had a teacher named jillian
she was in her 30s
a sweet, positive angel
a wise and encouraging photo teacher
on march 2nd
she tied a noose to the classroom ceiling
and hung herself
within a few hours she was pronounced dead
an advocate against suicide
an advocate to end stigma against depression and anxiety
she told us her dad got a gun
and shot himself in the head
she never wanted us to feel alone
to feel that life was a dead end
she never wanted us to follow her father's footsteps
but she did
and i sit in bed 3 years later
wondering if i will suffer my whole life like my father
or debating if should
take this
knife
to my
wrist
deep and
wide
and
quiet
my
mind
Sep 18, 2017
Sep 18, 2017 at 8:19 AM UTC
“One of us should say grace”.
“I will”, I said, and then:
“Thank…you” but the “you”
got tangled up in a sob.
And I couldn’t continue.
Like Joseph’s turning away
To hide his tears,
I cleared my throat
Disguising, belying:
A thousand gazes at the soy bean field,
Opening the drawer a thousand times
to see your card: “I love you”,
Taccota played a thousand times,
A thousand silent prayers
that I didn’t know were prayers.
Until you came
And looking through wet eyes,
I watched you sitting there
Amazed that almost everything
That mattered in the world, for me
Could be contained,
In this smiling girl
A sunflower placed
On the mantel In a glass vase
“Thank you”, I prayed.
Sep 10, 2021
Sep 10, 2021 at 11:44 AM UTC