Kristallnacht
The night that was Fought
Jew against Aryan
Filled with sin
No-one had to win
But the **** party
Thought of a race oh so hearty
Emotions ran high
Soldiers were high on ****
Forced to their death
March, March soldier boy
Germany's little toy
So many of you young and coy
They created courage pills
To give you a thrill
So that you could ****
Just until
The dirt was cleansed
Grease guns
No more fun
British and Germans
Toms and Jerrys
A ration on sherry
Line up girls and boys
Off to the front you go
Some will lose the odd toe
In the Russian snow
Stalingrad
Little ones be glad
Most never to see their sons again
Germany full of sin
Allies for the win
Nuremberg trials for the ****
No more of their party
Sentenced to death
Most still high on ****
15 year old boys
Killed for spying
****** youth
Find the truth
14-18 sent to war
The bullets they tore
Too young to fight
But they had the might
Pride and honor
But the horror
For the warrior
It ended
So many dead
Slaughtered in their beds
We took their wives
And the husbands lives
We failed to see the problem
Was us the Human
So repent for our sins
Even though we took a win
Did anyone really win?
All guilty of some sin

I bit my bottom lip
On some corn on the cob
Smothered some coconut oil in my hair
My phone chiming and humming away
A new man coos my name
But he is states and career miles away.

Its so good to be home
Though a car alarm periodically goes off and on
I didn't step foot outside
Until approximately 7pm
Couldn't run, walked and talked
To myself, self love, self comfort
I remember so vividly the fog that surrounded me
The gloominess of the dark haze
As I watched your white tennis shoes
Walk away.

You have been on my mind today
As you proceed to walk in circles
Ask everyone but me, how it went
I talked to my mother on the phone for over an hour
Unpacking from the soil, the immense green leaves
And how I so hoped to lead with an open heart
And come back with a cleansed soul.

I see and feel in my bones
That I've experienced a capsule whole of a moment
Intimate, difficult, challenging, visceral, and cathartic
All ending in one big swoop of a wet summer kiss
I'll always remember how good it felt
As your lips devoured mine
And the way we both swallowed the lumps in our throats
And sighed
As we stared into each others eyes
Engulfing each new moment, each new trinket
Talk about refreshing.

And like the catapult of my mind
I remember for the millionth time
How this time last year I convinced myself
With such astute demeanor
That you could possibly be the one
My hair a home cooked colorful meal
I spent every night
Creating a FaceTime dream world with you
As you called me on the phone
Your raspy chalk board nail voice
I so longed to adore
I never knew you would turn around
And decide with one large hand of time
That the easiest way to combat
Me
Was to simply rinse the unicorn swan queen
Away.

But you know in your heart of hearts
I live on your ankle.

Year 2.
Embarking and blossoming into year 2
I tell my mother I don't know what it will all bring
Sometimes I feel an immense panic that I have no idea
Drawn to yet another actor
But I couldn't and can't get over the way your eyes looked
Looking at me
And for once
I felt like we both ate each other up
Equally.

I don't know what it means
Old habbits die hard
I heard the phrase I use to echo and say
Drew in a ****** glaze
"I don't know"
Told a lover with a keenness
That phrase appears in all of my poetry
Like I was a prophet
Waiting for him to read the Bible of our love.

"There was so much there. A lot more. I keep thinking about the way you'd look at me."

How good it felt and feels
To have sunk my teeth into something
Where the man doesn't see me as a side prize.

I still don't know what it means
Or where my life will lead
But the car alarm outside
Goes on and off
And I'm just happy to have a night
With little ole me.

You promised me cheesecake.
And now, we can't remember our first date

There's a photobooth strip of the zoo,
that first summer,
when it was too hot
and all the animals were napping.
But I held your hand
while we looked for the red panda.

There's something about
mac and cheese,
Ben and Jerrys
on a Friday night.
Or waking up to make breakfast
home fries, eggs, and toast
on Saturday morning.

Sitting with you,
alone together.
Knowing I can blow you a kiss
and you'll catch it.
Every time.

You promised me cheesecake.
But I'd have followed
even if you hadn't

I do not belong anywhere.**
I realized halfway through, a pint of Ben & Jerrys.

I loved with a passion in my soul,
The kind of love you find
Coming from an alcoholic with a fine bottle of brandy.

It was toxic.

They say I was out of control,
I say blame it on love.

After all this time
I’m still holding onto rundown excuses.

Trying to chase away the blues,
With a baseball bat,
Engraved with the words.

Go Away

I’ve found myself wandering down every empty street
Hoping one of them would lead me back to myself.

Then before realizing you can’t find yourself
Within a pothole stricken road
Without catching a cold.

I caught a cold.

And the cold I caught was wretched.

Only cured by a carton of Ben and Jerrys
And a long night

That night was the longest.

It was one of the nights were it felt
Like a hand with arthritis was clutching your heart.

I found myself downing any bottle of anything,
And finding nothing.

Then I found myself questioning
The nothing I was finding.

I found myself second guessing,
Every breath I took.

Like my lungs were the problem.

But honestly,
I’m gonna blame love,
And I’m gonna be blaming it hard.

And I’ll use every rundown excuse in the book,
If it helps me find something.

Something to hold onto
Just so I get through the night.

I will use every rundown excuse in the book,
To find substance in the nothing I’ve been finding.

Because within this nothing,
There must be something.

Because nothing is something,
And something is not nothing.

So here's to me and my rundown excuses
The excuses I use when I need something.

But can’t find anything.

The warm safe haven
People wonder why I wear it
It's a layer between me and cold
A fluffy lamb to protect me from rain
And it hides my secrets
It protects me when I'm tired
As a place to lay my head
And it's very diverse of course
It just makes me feel
Nice
And it smells so familiar
Plus you can hide stuff in it
Ben and Jerrys ice cream spoons skipping ropes
I could go on
But it's just mine
So I can't explain how I feel
About it

Here hares wait quietly till drizzle stops atop hills, bright light peeps rabitually habitually wolves hooves trot brought again sound of cloud and air clash.
Flash
Then again sun and fun return, hares en- mass dare and scare away wolves.
Crazy Jerrys are chasing, facing warm Toms from yesterday to today.

(Poem in ***** Form, i.e in a new poetic form. Here most adjacent words rhyme. The theme is funny, bizarre.).

4th September, 2017.

It's one of those days
where
I need
a pint of Ben and Jerrys
my blanket
laptop
something to cuddle with.
It's one of those days
where
I need
to be alone.
There's no one
to be
with