I  sit and watch
day by day
You talk
I listen
you argue
I reason
You live your life blind
Yet I see the hell as it lay itslef out
You play the game with instruction
I can't help but to break the rules
You judge me because im different
I hate you because you're the same
All you know is ignorance because of its bitter sweet lustful taste
Try taking a sour dark yet refreshing shot of reality
You run
I walk
You think you know it all
Just wait until you get that wake up call

You sit
I stand
You reach for my hand
You beg
I neglect
Im ten steps forward
And you're ten steps back...

Even though the mind is never,
at rest,
Expounding upon itslef ambiguously,
Even though we are stopped; at the end,
we are racing!
At this moment,
we all understand ourselves,
with little flaws, faults and fallacies,
About what we're all about,
Even though it all makes sense,
the next turn, corner, windowsill,
Threshold doors float.
flow,
Our consciousness is infallable,
The hubiris of this satire,
That all persons,
At this moment,
Even though the brain constantly perceives,
In our little grandiose heads,
We have it all figured out,
The system of environment has,
been analyzed,
The results were,
inconclusive,
Yet we persist,
even though,
at the flip of a switch,
after all is said and done,
even though we knew our
Ultimate Truth,
sought after,
strived and toiled for,
even understanding chiral inversions,
fractal combustion,
The makeshift mind,
Never failing,
The unbending will,
gleefully wisping,
singing and swaying,
Sunlight beaming,
Booming,
Across the faces,
Flashing on scattered specks,
even though our ugliness,
is beauty,
even though,
love conquers all,
even though,
Truth,
Is malleable,
Our stubborn straight-forwardness,
Makes that realization rigid.

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I dont know what it is I said
                                     My blankets sewed me to my bed
The cotton stitched into me
           As thoughts turned rotten always do
                                 Held me down like lead
A cotton edge wrapped itslef around my shoulders
                                                     around my neck
Up to my head and said
                                "Ill keep you here until you are dead"

On this day, one of the few I look to see what's going on around me,
I finally notice I'm out of place;
Amongst teens that speak of a love they don't truly know, that's why they speak of it so romantically.
And the older souls so full of hope. The brightest future shows itslef when you go through a dark past, but, in that case, an incandescent bulb would do- that is the tragedy. Not everyone gets a sun. I sit here dumb trying to be a part of something I am not.  A poet... no.
A writer... no.
Just a man
With too much time
Not enough heart.

All I've ever known is how to hold my own
When your born into a heart that cares less for itslef
when your born into a soul that only thinks of those around it
All I've ever known is to hold my own
to keep on striving
keep on surviving
even when the sky makes it feel like i'm drowning
But now with you
I want to stop trying
I just want to be
fall into your arms and have you take care of me
you call me an angel
and all I want to do is make your life as heavenly as you make mine
I love you
But, I'm sorry if I need you too much
its just
all I've ever known is how to hold my own