An irreplaceable mirror
One of a kind
An irreplaceable memory
Stored in a photograph

The mirror, shattered
Shards lying on the floor
The photograph, tarnished
Smeared with paint

A room reeking of chemicals
Belonging to an asthmatic.
Being refused the refuge
Of sleeping on the couch.

A gouge in the wall
A long, scratched line
White smears across
A brand new, silver surface.

But we can't sue,
Or complain
Because your son
Runs our Real Estate.

Don’t think I’m trying to make or break you spirit
Just giving you a thought from my soul, if you would only hear it,
I can’t fully express (or repress) exactly what it is I think
So I babble incoherently and leave my decision on the brink.
I can’t decide if I should drop my pride and let the words flow
But a fear far worse rises of sad surprises and having to let you go,
So I stand back though I feel you close and I try to leave you be
But I know I can’t conceal or forget the words you’ve said to me.
So let me know (or find a way to show) exactly what I should do
But know as soon as I leave I find myself lost without you,
If you could just see a glimpse or peek for just a second of my mind
And what’s inside then you would know all thoughts for you are kind.
Only protecting (but not correcting) when I think I should step in
Because I’ve been in the same place and I’ve felt that hurt, my friend,
And I don’t want anyone to feel a pain so real, especially not you
Ignoring potential ulterior motives you know every word I say is true.
I swear without err that I couldn’t miss you more when you’re not here
But I’m fighting back fears when you’re holding me near whispering secrets in my ear,
And I’ve told you truly you hold more beauty that all of the stars in the night
Though you show it, I guess you don’t know it, or this knowledge you seem to fight.
(Who could forget her covered in glitter with sweet revenge in her eyes?)
But you’ve got this kid confused and blurry no matter how hard I try
To figure you out, your words still seem like an undecipherable code
That I try to map out and reconstruct in an abstract uneven ode.
I’m not playing, only saying that whether my words seep through or not
That you need not fear, because I’ll be here, my promise I haven’t forgot,
And when it ends, as it inevitably will, and you feel nothing but hurt and pain
I’ll soften my tone, and tell you you’re never alone, and you’re safe in my arms again.

A lifetime of waiting in wonder if you were really true
A trillion seconds of wishing my worries I could subdue,
Countless nights spent praying that you would become real to me
But a moment in your arms and worries are but a distant memory.

I have spent the greater portion of my life searching for a person that has certain distinguishable qualities. I have often been told that my standards were unreachable. I have spent years defining unconditional love, the difference between love and infatuation, and in general what love is. I was not until I met you that I was able to distinguish one emotion from another figure out what I had been missing all along. Since I met you I now know that love is:

When their heartbeat reverberates inside your very soul. When you find the answers to all of the questions of the world inside their eyes. When the only desire that you have is to fulfill all of their desires. When your body trembles at its inability to contain all of the emotions that are trying to burst forth from within you. When their voice sounds sweeter than any angelic melody could ever desire to. When you are dreaming of them and upon waking you try as hard as you can to get back to sleep because you cannot wait until you actually get to see them again. When they are the first thing that you think of in the morning and the last thing that you think about before going to sleep. When you try so hard to conceal how you are lost in bliss when you see them smile. When every touch and caress makes your heart race faster than you thought possible. When you wish you could lose yourself for an eternity in every kiss. When every day spent with them passes by in a moment and you find yourself wishing you were with them again. When your biggest fear is waking up and not finding them next to you. When your greatest desire is to hold them close. When all of the great problems of the world become minor details. When you search constantly for a stronger word because you know that love could not possibly encompass everything that you feel. When you know in your heart that you could drown in a single tear that they cried. When you would give up everything else just to hear them say "I love you" and know that they meant it. When you know that there is no one else in the world more beautiful than the person you hold dear. When you cannot help but smile when you think back on the memories you have made.  When you plan out every moment of that special day just so it will be as memorable as possible to them. When the only reason that you have left to fear death is that you would be without them. When you know that to hurt them would be the greatest crime that you could ever commit. When you realize that these words do not do justice to the meaning behind them.

Yet…even though those words cannot fully express how I truly feel…I still use them for lack of a way to show you to a further extent.

I love you. I love your kisses. Your smile. When you tell me that all that matters is us. That the rest of the world could fall apart and as long as we have each other that we'll be fine. That little thing you do when you think no one is looking. The way you lay there and stare at me for hours on end. Not needing to say anything. The way you smile because you know that it makes me happy, even if you don't want to. The way you call me just to see what I’m up to...even if you already know. The way you act surprised even if I’ve ******* up and you already know what's going to happen. The way that you look so innocent when you lay there sleeping. The way you laugh at me when I’m acting ******* just so I won't feel bad. That look you give me. The way that we argue about who loves who more. The stupid things we do when we're bored. The way that you make me feel complete. The way you hold me so tightly. The way you make me feel like I’m the one protecting you instead of the other way around. How it seems like I’m not alone when you're here. How you pour out your soul because you know I won't ever use any of it against you. The love you give, the hope you continue, the happiness you sustain.

A thousand thoughts of you are but a sand in time
but those thoughts of you are always in my mind,
Swirling slowly, completely through, even to my soul
and these fragments of thoughts of you are what makes me whole.
I piece them all together as hard as it may be
so I can remember every moment since you said yes to me,
And as I get lost in these memories deep in my heart’s core
I think in bliss of how in time there will be so many more.
I piece my life together like a puzzle full of truth
but the puzzle now can make no sense without the thought of you,
The only time I’m more confused is when I’m lost within your eyes
Because I’m lost within the one that I love to be beside.
I have eternal comfort when I’m holding you tight
But even that eternity must end when I let you go at night,
And even though I leave alone, I leave with a smile
Because I know before I see you again, it will only be a while.
The happiness you’ve brought to me this poem cannot explain
Because even now I can’t tell you how much I’ve gained,
Ever since that night when you said that you’d be mine
So I just wanted to let you know that I have the best valentine.

puzzles are easily put together, codes are easily deciphered, riddles are easily solved, questions are easily answered. the things created by the mind of man can be easily solved by the mind of man. it is only the questions that words cannot be found for that cannot be answered.

if a heart could cry out in an audible tone then i am afraid that i would go deaf from the constant murmur that would be produced from the depths of my chest. if love was an object i am afraid that i would tuck mine away forever so that such an irreplacable treasure would not become worn with time. if time could stop itself i am afraid where i would be found when it did so. if sleep could lash out and attack me for ignoring it for so long i am afraid that it would never cease its assault. if errors made were corporeal then i am afraid that i would lock them away forever in an inescapable prison to never be seen again. if my apologies grew limbs i am afraid they would die from exhaustion from constantly running from my heart to your ears. if my desire could be contained i am afraid no container would be found capable of storing such a great mass. if it was possible for me to find that which i seek i am afraid that it would dissolve and leave me without the one that none can replace. if i could tell you everything that i feel i am afraid that you would think me truly mad. if all my fears dissolved i am afraid that i would have nothing left to run from and would be found standing still. if i should be found standing still i am afraid that i would give all i have to give. and if i gave my all i am afraid that it would all be for nought and i would be found where i once was, without...

my father recently told me that i run from everything. i follow some "run and gun" pattern as he described it. he does not know how right he truly was. i could not explain it to him just as much as i cannot fully explain it to myself. but to put it simply...i fear. i fear love because i fear that it will always end as it has in the past. i fear confrontation because in the end someone always ends up hurt. i fear sleep because i cannot control the dreams that are created by my own mind. i fear hope because i am afraid that i will be disappointed. i fear my emotions because i am afraid that they will become greater than what i can control. i fear closeness because distance will inevitably set in. i fear looking into your eyes because you may see how i truly feel. that you may feel sympathy, that you may look down on me for admitting what is known to be true but never stated, that you will see how much you have helped me through what i could not do on my own, that you will see through my eyes and into my soul and be overwhelmed.

and though i fear many things, and though because i cannot often be found because i run from all those things which i do fear, there are some things that i have never feared and i doubt i ever shall. i have never feared your voice. i have never feared being with you. i have never feared losing what we have developed through the years. i have never feared that anything will ever come between us. i have never feared that the love i feel for you should ever subside. i have always given you my heart in whole because there is no fear that you will ever break it. and though i know that i have never nor will ever find a greater friend than you i do not fear that i should ever have to search for another. in a poem that i once wrote to you the words "all i have ever wanted, but more than i could ask for" still stand true. you mean the world to me. and if you were not here i have no idea where i would be right now. i just wanted to thank you for being there for me through everything that i've gone through. you have brought light to a once dim heart. you are the only proof that i need that there are those out there deserving all that i have.

these words mean nothing without the meaning behind them.

smile love, just smile. i will make you the happiest woman in the world. i will give you everything that you've ever wanted. i will make you forget the entities of sadness and regret. i will love you and you will love me, i'll make you lose yourself in the everlasting bliss, never leave you without a smile. i'll leave you wondering how you lived your life before now. he will fill your head with empty promises...

in time i have come to learn that love is a many faceted colossus. and depending on the angle of approach and point of view you can see many different things in it. that is why most people view love in different ways. it's not that their love is less true, it's just they have been one of the unfortunates that has been led to view love from the wrong perspective. finding love is easy if you approach it from one of the more easily accessible viewpoints. but if you work at it hard enough you can gain a vantage point that shows you the true beauty of love. the whole of this gargantuan emotional construct will be within your heart and mind. and once you have conquered the understanding of this which some might call an obstacle you can share what you have learned and teach those who were so unfortunate to not achieve what you have achieved. because although each facet complicates the next, and every love is different, is the goal not always the same? to extend your boundaries of happiness with another past what you could accomplish by yourself.

...and when you are left unhearted wondering why this love has collapsed upon itself. i will simply tell you that you saw love as a simple emotion when it was really a complicated goliath. and as you cannot build wonders out of empty boxes, you cannot build love with nothing but empty promises.

and there was a man. the frigid chill of winter blew behind him pushed him forward into the warm embrace that stood before him. and he knew that never again would he be able to turn around and face the cold void that he had left behind. he would never be able to follow the trail of frozen tears to find what he had once called his own on the other side of the blizzard. once he had found his way out of the storm he knew that he would never again have to feel such pain, such numbness. but the warm embrace that held him now made him forget all of those things. because that from which he came was so cold the warmness he now felt was euphoric. it lit a spark in his eye and caused him to glow. and of this fact alone he is forever grateful.

All i want is to be with you
but i don't know how to let you know,
if somehow you found out and knew
all my worries and fears would go.
If the wind would whisper in your ear
this secret that i'm forced to keep,
and all of it you could hear
so much pressure would be lifted off of me.
My unease to tell has filled me with disbelief
usually it is so easy for me to throw it all way,
but your friendship I do want to keep
and I can't find the way to tell you today.
I can't just let go like times before
there's something about you that makes me care,
I feel like this is something more
but with you this secret i can't share.
maybe i'm afraid you might shy away
or I'll just ***** everything up again,
but if i ever found out that you would stay
I'd break down and tell you right then.
All I want is to be with you
but I don't know how to let you know,
If somehow you found out and knew
new fears would come when the old ones go.

when you lay there staring up at me i realize
that i can almost see your soul through your eyes,
i can see all your desires that i'm trying to ignore
because i'm so afraid you'll say "don't hold me anymore".
the love i feel for you will surely outlast the world
but in this love there is no lust even as our bodies were curled,
i  just want to hold you and know that you are near
to move any further than this would again spark the fear.
my mind was running in circles as we laid there so long
so confused, so petrified, so afraid to do something wrong,
but even though these feelings were welling up inside of me
every time you smiled i felt nothing but relief.
knowing that you were there sheltered me from all that i hide
and hearing "i love you too" makes me forget what i've been denied,
makes me forget all but the wholeness that i feel when i'm with you
so whole because i know and feel that every word you say is true.
So here's to a friend that i know i never will forget
and not letting love and closeness turn into regret,
here's to the emotions for her that i can no longer store
she's everything i've ever wanted, but more than i could ask for.

Yesterday I knew the answers to all the problems on my mind
as you layed there trying to keep from falling asleep,
I found myself looking forward and not behind
and sharing these secrets i thought i would always keep.
But I must have stirred too much or breathed too hard
because your eyes slowly opened up again
and i knew the feelings i felt i no longer had to disregard
as you, as if lost in dream, looked into my eyes, my friend.
You sitting there so beautiful, a smile crossed your face
I knew there was no concealing the smile on my own
in this complete comfort that i know i can't replace
no mat

It is simple, and yet sublime;
Incapturable.

You need not go in,
Take away the man, destabilising the economy
That you so love
Letting them die

You need not assassinate and collaborate,
Scheme and puncture
Spheres of influence that stretch and bubble
In Latin America and Southern Asia,

You need not sign secrets away
Safe and deep
In silos and bunkers
Where Armageddon sleeps.

You need not supply, buy and axchange
Implements of violence and rage,
Picking sides in civil war, tribal conlflict
And bigger,
In lands you do not understand
Lands where the mountains resonate with holiness,
Lands of spiritual awakening awaiting for the young;
Concepts you can’t grasp, that don’t sit well

You need leave them be.
Enough has been done,
Not always with bad intention
But rarely for the greater good
Enough has been said and bought and replaced
Captured, shot at, disgraced,
Caricatured into funny cartoons
Taken over, the masters’ role assumed.

For all the radars and sonar
It seems impossible to listen;
Simple, yet sublime.
Incapturable.
Irreplaceable.

Cooking up a blizzard.
Lost and unguided tendrils of space hold me captive,
the trebles of your heart beating
leads me back to my my Home.
That infinite gaze of yours into my dilapidated eyes,
is like a portal to you to look into my soul.
You blanket all my darkness
With your semi-pixie cut.
You’re my tree of knowledge
I bask in it’s shade.
Powdered Sugar coating on cupcakes.
Your silk armour protects your vulnerability,
My sincere apologies to all the arrows that gaped through.
Cover me under your angel wings,
Dab away my streaming reservoirs and replace them
with pollen and sweet nectar.
Your wishbone sacramental daydreams and dreams.
I feel so lost without you.
Bandage my old wounds with your tender hands,
Kiss me with your lush lips
sending jolts of star dust upstream,
within my veins dancing with yours palpitating feet.
My shot of euphoria and bleeding antidote.
My poetry.
You, Kalon.
Let’s raise a toast to your
beauté remarquable éternel, mon soleil
your free spirit,
your beauty of a ghost,
your heart racing with joy,
your heart steaming up with reticent sadness,
build up anger that come crashing down
like a typhoon detaching from the human perspecta.
I miss you.
Your emotional mess and literal mess,
I’m your magic broom.
You, my inspiration.
You, my groove.
You, my you.
You. My everyone and everything.
You’re fun filled supressed omnipresent electric feel.
You, The only Solis in my galaxy.
I love you.
Sharing your grandoise orangy tinge yellow light.
Bottling up a few star
in a bottle of red wine,
For her Luna.
Solis is 21 a (000,000,000) today.
**You’re irreplacable.

The moon inexorably needs the sun;
just like i perilously need you.
the remarkable, the not so magnificent,
the parts not everyone can see,
illiberally all of you.

Solis dies every night ,
just to let Luna live.

But my dear,
Our love is not like the ones written
in the depths of the fathomless universe.
The harrowing, unblemished and blackened truth
that silences and ***** the moonlight
out of my insignificant galaxy...
you don't love me the same.
I know I'm not extraordinary enough
to belong in the same canvas blue/black skies as you,
and be your moon.
It is not the end. For neither you or me.

I will move on to new cosmic horizons,
in search of a new sun.
A sun that will reflect the darkest parts of the moon,
and love it all the same.
And you, Solis
will find your momentous and exquisitely portentous  Luna.

But my friend,
You are ever my collosally beautiful and singular Sun.

You're irreplacable.

sloppy seconds turn into somber slumber
and i'm still spinning in a universe that's unsure
unrest becomes irreversible, irreplacable, irrevokable
slipping through cynical sunrises and statistically normal sunsets

grab hold to the ground, hug gravity tight as everything
tries to fling me from functionality and into so called "freedom"
find focus, find focus, find focus

hocus pocus hums under hymns spoken hesitantly
and i hesistate again and again, i hesitate
finding the magic within the madness is my specialty
sometimes so much so that i subject self to sinking slowly
into the muck that ***** my skin off of my bones

flapping floppy lips leak loosly limp ideals and i look
to my black widow for conviction, confirmation, and consistency
meditative mornings and deep dark evenings become the norm
housing imaginary friends and hoping to inspire intellectual integrity

family finds new meaning in full ****** up webs that spin
us all up and spit us out on the same ground, but we are safe
here in our humble, happy home, we are safe and we are
happy in the simplest sense of the word

because i lost touch with reality,
ventured in my brain a little.
got rid of all the dust, mentally,
and it was the opposite of brittle.
infact theres a whole other world in there,
just for me to vision.
and to be honestly completely fair,
it was always made of indecision.
coming back to the world is like a resurface
but not exactly to breathe air.
my source of survival stays to my own mind, versus,
daily affairs who need my care.
so there,
you see a flare?
of a feeling irreplacable?
untraceable, not erasable.
creative minds dont survive near me,
as my heart has her own philosophy.
even though i do produce cobwebs from time to time,
i have sights to see, places to go and heights to climb.
still, i was never one to fully mime.
im all mine to find, envision and be,
faceless, frenzied, fallible but... free.

I'll come, and when I come
I'll just smile in a simple way
and I'll see you in a weird way.
I promise you will recognise it...
It's special, just for you..
The problem is...when I leave,
will this smile be there?
No..impossible...
I'll miss you..
Till the next time I will see you.
Then the smile will be priceless,
irreplacable and full of happiness...
Do you agree?

maybe we don't just want to be special, or an exception
we want to be irreplacable
yet- days and weeks and years go by
and we are replaced.

Don’t say a word
come sit by the cool side of the bed
smoothe the velvet of your dress
and fix you into something you’re not
an illusion that has been bought
a reminiscense of this past
which is nothing
sober promises and wasted regrets
nothing but an idle landscape
to be revered
alone above an empty mantlepiece
irreplacable
unforgettable
unattainable.

How quickly the threat of fire delineates,
how fast it distiguishes true value,

This small house, egostitically settled,
shivers at the thought.

I gather photographs and consider
what would burn - more than 'Jamesborough Gold,'

More than books and careful decor.
Strange things, esoteric, would burn:

Evaporated sweat,
purified through restless labour.

Dreams and designs,
the whispers of hope.

Inconsequential memories.
Familiar smells and atmosphere.

Strange things irreplacable would burn.

One storm passes and this nights fear settles,
like dust, among other unassuming memories...

You haven't called in five days
You destroyed this place
Did you see the look upon her face?
I feel so ashamed
You've got it all displaced

The sound of your keys opening her only door
She waited for you every moon
But you beat her, you killed her down to the core

I know you're scared, you're lost
Come on, baby
Tell me do you believe in me

Every crack in the floor compares to every crack in her soul
Every broken window is irreplacable

You shut her only door
There was much more than this house
You destroyed much more

Made of spoon,
Plastic.
Fork made of steel,
when life gives you a man who controls how you feel.
Plastic spoon, fake and breakable,
steel fork, strong and irreplacable.

Nowadays it hurts just occasionally
not like back then when you decided
to go another way
with another man.

So much time has passed since you went away
and still I consider you irreplacable in my life.
I ask myself how I could survive without you
and I have no answer to this question.

The only thing I know for sure:
I miss you, still after all this time.
Although it's just a ghost knocking at the door
messing with my sanity.

I want to thank you for everything you gave me
and say sorry because I made so many things wrong
but I don't think you really would care about
as you are happy now.

my friend, she saw the body today.
she had to call the cops.
she saw the body
the blood drenched face,
she saw the body
sitting under a tree at the park,
she saw the body
an unidentified suicide,
she saw the body
she was speeding, she remembers every detail.
she saw the body
no one tried to help him.
she saw the body
"i thought he would just get up,"
she saw the body
"i thought it was a movie suicide."
she saw the body
no one even tried to help him,
she saw the body
they poked at him with sticks.
she saw the body
she wishes she could have stopped them,
she saw the body
she wishes she could have stopped him.
she saw the body
an irreplacable human soul.
she saw the body
she saw his body and now that will haunt her for the rest of her life.

Cross my heart, hope I die,
I will always be there to love you,
Offering kisses, taking your trembling hand,
I know you will be there for me too.

Baby I have been drunkenly thinking,
Think I have you to thank,
For giving irreplacable moments
To store inside my memory bank.

I love late nights we waste,
Spilling hearts in the dark,
All the laughter, the tears,
Have left a cherished mark.

I promise I won't ever take you for granted,
Your actions, as well as words you say,
Cross my heart, hope I die,
By your side I will forever stay.

My lady’s tears
I made them streamed down her cheek
What should I do to repay that?
Maybe I could make her stop crying
But what should I do to make her forget?
A promise is never enough, neither a hug?

Once I thought about leaving
Bringing away hopes of she stop crying
Maybe without me her life will be much easier
But I could not do that
Love asked me to stay with her

Some magical things happened in my life
Her forgiveness is among those things
Her tears are irreplacable
But being with her, I conviced that I can be a better man

Day-appetizers
Art-publishers
Wild-believers

Mind-talkers
Music-­chimers
Self-cheerleaders
Desperate-dreamers

Dream-crafters
Natu­ral-disasters
Love-enforcers
Cake-feasters

Irreplacable throughout time,
My Friends.

Devotion
is not loyalty

And the difference is sacred
if you always look closer

And in the in betweens
Is where you will find these things...

What you want hear
In a kind of fight with,
What you need to listen to

Here lives' the irreplacable things

That make you mean
   More
or maybe less