All this poetry I write
is here for a reason.

I am feeling rather nostalgic tonight
my room is clammy and hot
whilst on the inside, I'm in a freezer
unable to move from the isolation

I am currently listening to a song
it is singing me to sleep
and singing all my consciences
without me having to think too much
philosophising everything

I'm tired of being here
alone all the time, and
I can't carry on being second best
even third, fourth and so on
like a never ending cycle

the term 'wallflower' is so perfectly beautified
and evokes imagery of aesthetically-pleasing nature
but I find this so hard to believe
as I feel like a wallflower
but certainly the opposite of beautiful
more like the uninviting sight of a prickly ****
needing to be dug up
because nobody likes its presence

irrelevance is probably the only term I can use to describe
just how things are
no one wants the companionship of someone
who perceives others' opinions as negative
all the time
and their own thoughts are just as diabolic

the thought of myself
ever being denoted as beautiful
is at the height of impossibility

Im sorry I ask of so much,
This heart of mine needs too much,
Hungry that i am,
My desire burns with every swallow,
I need more, more than you can ever give,
More than u will ever know.
My need for irrelevent things highlight the minutes of my day,
Every second without them a pain,
What to do?,
You are incapable of satisfying thirst of my indigent heart.
Yet, still, you try, you angelic creature , Yet you still try
Why, oh, why do you attempt of completing my requests,
When you know I can make this your lifes quest?,
Why do you try when you know of the end,
When you know a thankyou would not be said?,
I love you, yet still I burn you,
I scorch you with my tongue,
Yet still  your heart's melodic love is sung.
Thankyou Lord for blessing me with wonderful beings,
Who forgive the poisonous snake in my mouth,
Which lashes out again and again,
until a wish of mine is fullfilled.

10 to 5am.
Quiet time my time,
the world is asleep an my minds racing.
Sun will soon be rising in my eyes. 

Ghosts are every where like shadows at the edge of my vision.

I can't stay still here everything calls to me.

Every sound,
image and thought
breaking down pieces of myself.

They are all here
all my ghosts, skeletons, tresspasses
all like fallen soldiers waiting for a final word,
a tender moment to bid a true goodbye.

I don't want them to go
do I?

I won't handle the solitude,
the vacuum of my own existence.

Smile,
nod,
shake,
move,
jump,
scream,
fall to pieces,
find a template and run.

Run for life,
for sanity,
for health,
pleasure pain commitment.

None match,
none convey,
my why,
the truth that it is
and will be irrelevent.

my parading is for naught.

But this is for me not them,

no concepts just existence

Existence is irrelevent
Living is like the opposite
Faith is better then religion
And relationship is greater then coexistence.

I thought I was going to die last night.
I was slowly moving without realizing:
I've never had it, or I had it too long;
but the idea of tripping into existence
takes too much time to learn how to forget.

I didn't know what would happen last night,
even after I realized
there was noise coming from inside of me.

but we all know this **** is irrelevent.

Find the truth, for whatever it may be about why men are killing each other it does not **** God; if he exists then the history of man's inhumanity towards one another and why they may puzzle you with their behavior is irrelevent. Stop justifying that which is the province of Caesar. Are you concerned with being a world power or with being a fisher of men's souls? Regardless of your religion, read the sermon on the mount carefully, then ask yourself what is being asked of you. Then when you see someone who is different than you, you will know what to do. Drop your sword. Do not be afraid. For what you profess to believe is not about how or when you die but about how you live. You cannot judge. Think of your own nature and how you must appear to God. You do not know why another man acts the way he does. You do not know why he is afraid of you because you are only concerned with why you are afraid of him. Elevate yourself above geopolitical politics. Protect the rights of all men. Honor your God in peace. He does not require your help against those who do not believe exactly as you. That is not what is being asked of you. If he is God, then he will never die no matter what happens on Earth. But is it his will that lives or dies in your life? Who decides? You know what to do.

i remember the desire that feuled me madly
all i needed was someone to hold me dear
you were close by and i wanted you so badly
and that was the start of my hospital year
my days began with that familiar refrain
and ended on my porch with me cloaked in gold
your love washed over me like summer rain
but everything else was growing bitter and cold
and finally it all came down to live or die
i could have given up the ghost to the great big O
something intervened and i can't say why
it's irrelevent; the how was all i needed to know
then it was all over without trepidation or fear
and that was the end of my hospital year

Go!!

I try to forget too many things
Think I can fly but I have no wings
It was a time of uncertainty
So I begged for a guilty plea

Thought I'd get the bare minimum
Maybe just pay some hefty sum
But no, got both sum and cell time
I can do the time, can't pay a dime

It was something I shouldn't have touched
So mad so rushed
Who knew I could cause a death
I didnt up until your last breath

Of  ones cold warm skin
My only issue was I didn't win

A fresh start would be useful
More like very needed to me
So God just please set me free
These past months have been awful

So let's break away from each others grasp
Start a future forget the the past
Leave it all behind
Maybe now I can start to unwind

It was something I shouldn't have touched
So mad so rushed
Who knew I could cause a death
I didn't up till your last breath

Of ones cold warm skin
My only issue was I didn't win

I step out a brand new man
If I wanted, I could have ran
Outside seems different
But right now that's all irrelevent

I visit your tombstone
I'm sorry I left you all alone
I'm sorry I took your life
I know if you were here now, you'd be my wife

I ask was it to much?
A regular death, a death by the touch
Of me.

Threads woven
Into the shimmering fabric of time
When I close my weary eyes
And meditate I am able to
See across the years of the blind
Years that come and go
Hurts becoming nothing more than lessons learnt
Returned soldiers from a ****** battle of wits
Friends reunited but time has taken its toll
The grass is greener when the rain falls
And a spectrum covers the horizon
Oh how blessed we are when we see what is
Right in front of us
Hunger
Becomes irrelevent
Take your fill
There's a source of plenty
But be mindful
Only when we really believe we deserve
Will we receive the bounty
Which is our birth right
Try to remember
In remembering
You will find your home

"I choose to fight my battles in darkness.
My demons belong there and on no place
Where light spreads miraculously, nothing else shall triumph over all!!"


If you have made this far.


Then there's a reason for you to believe
BEHIND THESE EYES... is where the REAL... MAGIC... TAKES OVER!


Don't question me on the Iast time I slept 8 hours...it might have been 2 or 3 days ago....

I don't know, the pain is there, I never allow it to show.

At end of everyday, I believe in more than, our ability to achieve and grow.

Its never a day off for any of you.
Blessings will be that surprise in disguise.
Do not give into the lies, with the intent to corrupt or compromise!

SCREAM for a prayer... from the skies!

Before, despair drowns you in eternal demise....

You complain about the struggle and the troubles... yet you remain confined to your bubble!!

The vision in a view that is vivid. Do not waste your time, questioning your value just live it!

Even as a child...

I had to break my neck, for slice of justice served with respect.

Because I speak with an impediment.

Oh my goodness, you're an embarrassment.

Difficulty speaking with the proper ediquite

****.

What.

You.

Think!

It's irrelevent!!

Bending myself backwards, why pretend that I'm not stretching thin, for endless needs!

Not, for the feel of a thrill, I should chill, I shoot for the ****, don't test my will...

I am content, with this power to vent, just with mastering these spells for the hell of it!

Biting my tongue, blood filling my lungs.
I rather feel numb, before I pop PILLS & do something dumb.

Think you are something ***?
You are bluffing son... over here bumping yo gums. I heard it all. Seen it all. You ain't about busting a gun.

You need to THINK TWICE, before you even CONSIDER ME BEING THE ONE!!

Don't do that
But
You better do this
Or we will discuss you
With disdain
And loudly proclaim
How your decision affects
Us all
Put it upon your shoulders
The weight of someone else's fall
Proven or not

Irrelevent

What we want is to be right
And we will make ourselves wrong
To insist upon
How right we surely are
This is the majority
Babe
And the vast majority
By far
And the majority is
Always right
At the time
And when it's proven to be wrong
It tells itself lies
And hates to apologize

"Clocks" coldly plays in my ears,
"...part of the cure or the disease?"
It's amazing how misunderstandings (and music) can help one cope.
When I feel short of oil in my lamp,
the right words at the right time act like an amp,
"Rage rage against the dying of the light."
As Dylan Thomas mourned paternal mortality,
in ignorance the words of the weeping Welshman gave me temporal vitality,
even now that I'm aware of their accurate intent,
to my own interpretation I remain bent because if I don't hold the meaning that I first saw I lose breath as they become irrelevent.

Hence, in a an era of persistent pandemics, "progress" and injustice,
my spirit crawls with a flickering wick,
body weighed weak like a walking stick,
mind searching for life in a eulogy,
still seeking to slay the cynic in me,
wishing for wrongs to be made right,
raging against the dying...