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"intruding" poems
Punctured are the lungs I've used for breathing This seething ever-romantic feeling The peeling of skin that reveals the concealed And opens up the undying existence of the unseen As my own existence is also undying and unseen My mind and ego trying to convince me otherwise This is my illusion Intruding my mind and infecting it with disparity And with no clarity of what is to come I drown in fear that I will succumb
0
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 2:30 PM UTC
Depressed Mind
Out of what our hearts are made, The sea of stars above our little heads is widely spread, expanded, The river of the milkyway, seperating two lovers, with more stars, All come within a clear, manifest orbit, bound to gravity and bounty, A vally of natural nuclear fusion reactors, spreading light through the dark of the night, a play of beauty and might, on the ceiling of Earth, All shining uninterruptedly, without the intruding light of the moon, In the world of empty dreams, waiting to be filled with memories, Clusters, binary, trinary stars with their satelites, dance as celestial beings through the infinity of space, all with grace, individuality, bliss Heartfelt, past the luxury of luminosity and spinning alike wage wool Because stars are, a magic mirror to the things we are, or want to be, Weave the fate that you want to feel free, broken loose from the lies, It is best to dance with me on these fantastic grounds here with me, If we gather in a dark night, my dear knight, we can grasp fantasy, Dear trasure mine, you're, a distant eniment galactic heavenly beauty So shine on until you someday let go of this worldly life, my dearest, As then I would like to meet you in the realm of the dead again, In the loitering darkness one day. ~ Umi
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Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 9:35 AM UTC
Al-Majara
A fierce growl shattered the vampire's coffin The wood cracks and the monster is awake Hurry! Dig a pit for the creature to hide Burn it before the sunrise Oh do not let the world encounter this chaos No one should see the vile mien of a ferocious blood ******* entity That thrusts its teeth deep into the delicate skin and schemes for barbaric damages. Look! The naive creature stands with utter dainty A revolting smirk sleeps on its face Pale skin and a bloodshot gaze An evil snicker revealed the fangs See how the eyes move with hostility Like a venom injected in the name of brutality Sharp nails and clenched fists Searching for a throat to slit. The air now breathes a vengeful sigh Like a wild beast craves to die Dark shadows lurk behind the curtains Silent whispers yodel about a burden The creature stone eyed, stares back I breathe quietly under the horrid impact There! It is coming my way I can feel the intruding fear of a feeble prey in my veins Finally, as if the monster made its mind It opened the mouth in a solemn cry A shrill voice so piercing, it shattered my facade I fell on the ground like a broken glass It was no monster or a Dracula that howled Ah yes, my own reflection scared my soul Years of self hate and agony prevailed And I have been ******* on my veins in despair My corrupt heart no longer beats Darkness dwells in its core; so deep Now watch the results of constant infight I am nothing more than a mere parasite A ray of sun touching me toes, The toxic  memories fading with the tick tock Once again, I repair my coffin And slither into a sound slumber on the symphony Of a robin.
0
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 1:31 PM UTC
A Dracula Attack
A fierce growl shattered the vampire's coffin The wood cracks and the monster is awake Hurry! Dig a pit for the creature to hide Burn it before the sunrise Oh do not let the world encounter this chaos No one should see the vile mien of a ferocious blood ******* entity That thrusts its teeth deep into the delicate skin and schemes for barbaric damages. Look! The naive creature stands with utter dainty A revolting smirk sleeps on its face Pale skin and a bloodshot gaze An evil snicker revealed the fangs See how the eyes move with hostility Like a venom injected in the name of brutality Sharp nails and clenched fists Searching for a throat to slit. The air now breathes a vengeful sigh Like a wild beast craves to die Dark shadows lurk behind the curtains Silent whispers yodel about a burden The creature stone eyed, stares back I breathe quietly under the horrid impact There! It is coming my way I can feel the intruding fear of a feeble prey in my veins Finally, as if the monster made its mind It opened the mouth in a solemn cry A shrill voice so piercing, it shattered my facade I fell on the ground like a broken glass It was no monster or a Dracula that howled Ah yes, my own reflection scared my soul Years of self hate and agony prevailed And I have been ******* on my veins in despair My corrupt heart no longer beats Darkness dwells in its core; so deep Now watch the results of constant infight I am nothing more than a mere parasite A ray of sun touching me toes, The toxic  memories fading with the tick tock Once again, I repair my coffin And slither into a sound slumber on the symphony Of a robin.
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44
intruding light has corrupted black night's real character.
0
Feb 6, 2016
Feb 6, 2016 at 11:50 AM UTC
The Rot (Eight words)
Star that shines so bright I just want you to know that I’m going to rewrite And wait, even if it’s not right "Hi" and "Bye," You only said that a few times But this heart still craves those rhymes Star that shines so bright Thank you for the lightness And rounds of happiness This fondness that I knew I am pleased to have met you And I hope you do too My apologies for intruding But I will still be waiting Even if I come to an end of still nothing My apologies for everything But I have no control over these feelings of mine Star that shines so bright I hope you’ll be happy all along I will not say "Bye for so long" Because I will still be waiting Even if this ends in nothing
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Feb 19, 2023
Feb 19, 2023 at 9:31 AM UTC
Rewritten Star
City lamps in clusters of concrete On 18th and Sherman street The cars pass by scanning me Each unsound engine roaring Darting pupils I feel it on my externals On my lips and phalanges Intruding glances cascading over my silhouette Deja-vu-like resemblances, strange Sunken cheeks look bizarre and blotchy as the socket drains something toxic to the veins that's permeated the future in an instant, like a comet, encandescent and shimmering like a scale, the awareness fades Like some dreary mirage I remember those little band aids Vintage carnival tickets discarded on the scratchy ground.. Blue-violet bruises The paradox of pleasure A vague creature in it's discomfort sitting in defiance and quivering my sentences It reminded me of those incandescent bugs that smush into Chryslers With a curled lip, bulging eyes and ******* up tongue... Antennaes intertwined like Twizzlers Making peace with all that's stung as the windshield wipers turn on Some black tar-smack-oil- ****** My generation consists of inheriting environmental destruction and mal-parenting Global warming. Animal extinction. Polluting the oceans. Deforestation. Biting shards off night-time to suffice for the daily pangs Shuffling the dregs of karma to grow roots and vines all about the room It's not Winter yet Under this morning dew I envision it in my mind A crystal ball vision contorting into smoke I caught it in my breath Catatonically hanging A turtle with it's legs bending toward the sky Searching for my tribe and a pulse on this Earth in sentient souls
0
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 12, 2017 at 8:18 PM UTC
Twizzlers
City lamps in clusters of concrete On 18th and Sherman street The cars pass by scanning me Each unsound engine roaring Darting pupils I feel it on my externals On my lips and phalanges Intruding glances cascading over my silhouette Deja-vu-like resemblances, strange Sunken cheeks look bizarre and blotchy as the socket drains something toxic to the veins that's permeated the future in an instant, like a comet, encandescent and shimmering like a scale, the awareness fades Like some dreary mirage I remember those little band aids Vintage carnival tickets discarded on the scratchy ground.. Blue-violet bruises The paradox of pleasure A vague creature in it's discomfort sitting in defiance and quivering my sentences It reminded me of those incandescent bugs that smush into Chryslers With a curled lip, bulging eyes and ******* up tongue... Antennaes intertwined like Twizzlers Making peace with all that's stung as the windshield wipers turn on Some black tar-smack-oil- ****** My generation consists of inheriting environmental destruction and mal-parenting Global warming. Animal extinction. Polluting the oceans. Deforestation. Biting shards off night-time to suffice for the daily pangs Shuffling the dregs of karma to grow roots and vines all about the room It's not Winter yet Under this morning dew I envision it in my mind A crystal ball vision contorting into smoke I caught it in my breath Catatonically hanging A turtle with it's legs bending toward the sky Searching for my tribe and a pulse on this Earth in sentient souls
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57
This poem is a Google Adwords ad, Intruding into the sidebar of your heart. It’s a 1-800-LAWYERS commercial Making you money off your personal injury. It’s a brutal, ****** UFC bout, Weak in its ground game but knows its Jiu-Jitsu And it’s got you on the mat, begging you to tap out. This poem is ***** a SNAFU waiting to happen. It’s the sarin gas Syria used against its own And it’s the attack America will be responding with, Using ****** to punish murderers. This poem is a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken Getting your finger-lickin’-good fingers nice and greasy. This poem is yet another poet writing yet another poem about poems, With the word poem repeated ad nauseum. This poem is a bunch of awful band names, Like Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Tapes ‘n Tapes, and Chunk! No, Captain Chunk!. It’s a summer blockbuster and a teen dystopian trilogy. It’s riding ***** In your ex’s car. This poem is anthropogenic global warming Whose CO2 emissions are dangerously high and climbing While its polar bears are stranded on the broken ice floes of its verses. It’s a baseball crowd speaking the words “no hitter” In the midst of a no-no Which itself is a no-no. Its bad grammar, who’s comma’s are all, out of place And its’ apostrophe’s, are meaningless. This poem is Zooey Deschanel, Who will not marry me some day, any day, in the future. In fact, it doesn’t even know I exist.
0
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 3:35 PM UTC
States of Being
We hardly fit with our jagged edges and our heavy breathing, our holes don't even coincide. Our symmetry is imperfect, as imperfection can be. We can't call it home. We're too edgy to ever do so. It doesn't even come close to that feeling of comfort and love. We're not in love, nor are we friends by any means. Hardly acquaintances. We wouldn't lift a finger a finger to help the other No, this isn't home, love or friendship. Our weapons are still on us. The poison's hidden in the secret compartments of the rings we gifted each other. We never believed in anything but practicality. I specially sharpened the blades I brought with me. I know he loaded some 'special' bullets in his gun. We deal like this, like rival gang leaders It's the only thing that has remained the same through all these years, frighteningly comforting in it's stagnancy. It doesn't even come close to companionship. It's definition lies somewhere between hatred, addiction and need. Quiet intimacy will prevail between us and anyone who walks in, feels like they're intruding on something a bit more private and clandestine. Though no one notices, our spines don't relax even once.
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Aug 6, 2012
Aug 6, 2012 at 7:48 AM UTC
Intimacy, of all things
We slump on the couch when we return like lifetimes have passed before us. We have to, even though it was only a seven minute walk to the dining hall, because 1) the food was just “weird consistency” (which we tend to say regardless), 2) the light in there yawned indifferently to us (when does it not?), and 3) the reassuring clink of our forks on our plates wasn’t even there this time it was hiding underneath slop and smothered on top by the intruding sound waves (who asked?) of our next-table neighbors’ lives. You made a sly remark about seconds to catch a glimpse of youthful **** She’d gone to get some more baby carrots and cucumber slices to put in her salad maybe (who knows? who cares?) Either way, her youthful **** would make the food taste like something to you. And you described them to us when you sat down again so the slop would taste like something to us (there’s pride in that type of generosity, don’t forget) and (congratulations) we had the faint impression of some sort of ****** there, but we didn’t tell you (it’s easier that way). A cup, a squeeze, a kiss on her ******* yes that could feed our hunger for a night. And tonight was a night like any, so her ******* led us to talk of women, and women led us to talk of love (and the blooming one for the poor ******* as we who lost withstood the vicarious twinge of an addling ****** very different from the first. This one led us to pine for sweets, but the ones we found were dry, so we left the table, left the dining hall, looking around at the others: the lonely, the couples, the blessed lonely couples, and the fortunate friends huddled against everything with open laughter, enjoying the weird consistency like drunk theoretical physicists before they discovered bubbles and inflated eternally meaning when they safeguarded a zoo with a pistol they didn’t know how to use, in Soviet Russia. (So you see?) We have to slump on the couch when we return like lifetimes have passed before us. No one even bothers to pick up a guitar, we leave all four of them strewn on the floor like dead wooden boxes because Dylan or Young or Cash (or whoever) is already in the living room. Any bubbling, inflating, theoretical physicist (any drunk, pistol-packing zookeeper, for that matter) will tell you that. So we slump, comfortably uncomfortable, (at least we’re trying!) feeling their (our) strings plucking. No sounds, no voices. Because we don’t need to hear this that. Not right now. (Not right now).
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Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012 at 7:33 PM UTC
Slumping in West Adams
We slump on the couch when we return like lifetimes have passed before us. We have to, even though it was only a seven minute walk to the dining hall, because 1) the food was just “weird consistency” (which we tend to say regardless), 2) the light in there yawned indifferently to us (when does it not?), and 3) the reassuring clink of our forks on our plates wasn’t even there this time it was hiding underneath slop and smothered on top by the intruding sound waves (who asked?) of our next-table neighbors’ lives. You made a sly remark about seconds to catch a glimpse of youthful **** She’d gone to get some more baby carrots and cucumber slices to put in her salad maybe (who knows? who cares?) Either way, her youthful **** would make the food taste like something to you. And you described them to us when you sat down again so the slop would taste like something to us (there’s pride in that type of generosity, don’t forget) and (congratulations) we had the faint impression of some sort of ****** there, but we didn’t tell you (it’s easier that way). A cup, a squeeze, a kiss on her ******* yes that could feed our hunger for a night. And tonight was a night like any, so her ******* led us to talk of women, and women led us to talk of love (and the blooming one for the poor ******* as we who lost withstood the vicarious twinge of an addling ****** very different from the first. This one led us to pine for sweets, but the ones we found were dry, so we left the table, left the dining hall, looking around at the others: the lonely, the couples, the blessed lonely couples, and the fortunate friends huddled against everything with open laughter, enjoying the weird consistency like drunk theoretical physicists before they discovered bubbles and inflated eternally meaning when they safeguarded a zoo with a pistol they didn’t know how to use, in Soviet Russia. (So you see?) We have to slump on the couch when we return like lifetimes have passed before us. No one even bothers to pick up a guitar, we leave all four of them strewn on the floor like dead wooden boxes because Dylan or Young or Cash (or whoever) is already in the living room. Any bubbling, inflating, theoretical physicist (any drunk, pistol-packing zookeeper, for that matter) will tell you that. So we slump, comfortably uncomfortable, (at least we’re trying!) feeling their (our) strings plucking. No sounds, no voices. Because we don’t need to hear this that. Not right now. (Not right now).
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68
Natalie! at present I am present on a small isle, which is so green genteel to the eyes and the ayes, you might include it among yet unmastered possibilities, living here forever. indeed, the crescent beach so welcoming that francais et l'anglais des anglaise is spoken here, but actuality has a way of intruding, like Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Bleu, saying I know you, even if it doesn’t this breeze bearing load suggests your name as a candidate for future, honours, an MBE, a practiced curtsy for a queen, whatever is he babbling about? why I am presenting an outline for a screenplay that will make you a little rich and somewhat fameuse so you buy a house on the water, party all night, write in the miracle wonder of the late afternoon on a summery isle, modestly hungover say! where is this isle so sheltered, where nooks are set aside for poets and drunks to pub crawl, to stand on tables and Irish sing of those things that poets endlessly babble? so add : come here and let us listen to all your possibilities and cross just this one, your presence here, off the list
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Jun 22, 2019
Jun 22, 2019 at 3:40 PM UTC
I was born into a universe of possibilities, hers, natalie stiles carmona
the window looking through me tracing my steps as i walk away you're behind it, intruding the sun sinks lamp lights push me the path bends my waist now she's a memory   one of the prisoners behind your curtains these spirits you hold captive to whom you couldn't give back
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Aug 21, 2016
Aug 21, 2016 at 7:39 AM UTC
The Window
4) I moved into the woods built a little cabin, below the rocks and covered by the trees; yet I had visitors who had come astray into the wilderness Someone wanting space for the night: “Is there enough room in your cabin?” “Why,” I said, “there’s plenty all round” I was vegetarian but the destitute offered themselves to me - the religious might say: *God fed me even in the wilderness!* Ha! A wandering woman one evening, she offered love in return for shelter that night She let me lick, taste her flesh “Bite me,” she said offering a foretaste in our foreplay Why would they not leave me? – these wanderers, the intruding world No, I had not come in like Thoreau or the Unabomber – but maybe like the misanthrope Timon of Athens... afraid of my own hate; but the innocent seemed to be drawn in as to a...an...abattoir
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Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 5:11 PM UTC
I know, I was just like you (HORROR - 4 of 5)
Within a thick and spreading hawthorn bush That overhung a molehill large and round, I heard from morn to morn a merry thrush Sing hymns to sunrise, and I drank the sound With joy; and often, an intruding guest, I watched her secret toil from day to day— How true she warped the moss to form a nest, And modelled it within with wood and clay; And by and by, like heath-bells gilt with dew, There lay her shining eggs, as bright as flowers, Ink-spotted over shells of greeny blue; And there I witnessed, in the sunny hours, A brood of nature’s minstrels chirp and fly, Glad as the sunshine and the laughing sky.
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2.4k
The Thrush’s Nest
When love is being born, The world is announcing, The blooming birth of love, That's unstoppable, racing. Love is like a storm, Intruding into your heart, Infuriating passions, Building bridges inside. But, sadly, sometimes... It can't find its own home. In the hearts of two people, Where love shall be grown. When two hearts don't meet, One goes left, one goes right. The power of love fades, Dwelling deep, deep inside.
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Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 11:51 PM UTC
When Love is Born
Under his helmet, up against his pack, After so many days of work and waking, Sleep took him by the brow and laid him back. There, in the happy no-time of his sleeping, Death took him by the heart. There heaved a quaking Of the aborted life within him leaping, Then chest and sleepy arms once more fell slack. And soon the slow, stray blood came creeping From the intruding lead, like ants on track. Whether his deeper sleep lie shaded by the shaking Of great wings, and the thoughts that hung the stars, High-pillowed on calm pillows of God's making, Above these clouds, these rains, these sleets of lead, And these winds' scimitars, -Or whether yet his thin and sodden head Confuses more and more with the low mould, His hair being one with the grey grass Of finished fields, and wire-scrags rusty-old, Who knows? Who hopes? Who troubles? Let it pass! He sleeps. He sleeps less tremulous, less cold, Than we who wake, and waking say Alas!
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2.3k
Asleep
There was a time when the glass slipper graced my delicate la petite foot that you guessed we had a similar future but discreetly you mocked me We should have been married in time and gently rearing gently bred children but the lure of longevity, put you away from me, so many years ahead of us Guess what I put in the teapot of our delicately brewing tempest? Coffee Yes, coffee, that insidious brew that  you refuse to drink with me as we sit watching the sun gain it's zenith, waiting for it to become an apex in the sky And when it leaves its blood spread across acres of blue I scream WHY~ Until we sink into the darkness of the night and black becomes white and the stars are just aneurisms exploding behind eyes that are blind I find Excuses and non de plumes another name for the noxious fumes that you continually spew at me Freedom, Anonymity all which are acceptable to you but not me saying goodbye should be easy
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Mar 23, 2012
Mar 23, 2012 at 6:48 AM UTC
us was the fairytale we told ourselves to stop reality from intruding... including you and me but excluding me
Boring and rude? That's a rich call, coming from you! But rude I'll concede, Given the circumstances - You pester me with calls and texts, And invade my private domain, And won't listen when I say, "No" - What would you expect? That I'd be grateful towards A drunken lush intruding my peace? That I'd be receptive to a needy egoism More entrenched than Catholic Dogma? No, that is not my way - No! You can get f**ked! And I told you - I had to spend an hour Convincing you I wasn't interested; That your infatuation wasn't reciprocated; That, when you're drunk, you're not worth knowing; That I've heard of your glory days And your present travails a million times; That you can't offer me what I need - A decent conversation, nor a decent ******* And I told you - I didn't pull punches; I didn't lie - I wasn't playing games. I told you in no uncertain terms And you didn't like my Truths - Perhaps they touched a nerve? Rude? Sure, maybe I was, But there was no other way To sink these facts through your alcoholic haze. As for boring - I'll not concede boring. I may not lead an exciting life, But boring? No - anything **** You've a hide, when every conversation Begins with an "I", "Me" or "My"; Anyone would think the World revolves around you! You take egocentricism to a new level; So self-involved and hard-done-by, You feel the need to inflict yourself on others. Adios, me amiga! And, Hola, me Amigos!
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Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 4:59 PM UTC
Miss K - A Rose: Maybe She'll Bloom Frangipani One Day?
I feel the tendrils creeping in Wrapping around my core, my neck The muscles slowly strengthen, suffocating me Making my calls so muted they’re virtually nonexistent. I’m shouting though I can’t breathe, But no one can hear my screams from the Deep, dark trenches of the shadowy sea As unbeknownst creatures emerge, Leaving their places of sweet asylum And intruding upon mine, Yet, I still am stranded here in this place. I don’t even know where I am, But the voices of fear and insecurity in my mind, Tell me what I need to do - when, why, how - Steadily I hear a crescendo of a piano some distance away, So far, almost on the outskirts of the complex town inside my mind, Though I discover the music is waiting just around the bend. A flats, F sharps – getting louder, louder! “Stop!” I am screaming now Or at least I think that’s me. But the music blocks out my voice That tender little voice of mine. Suddenly, as I see a blonde-haired head pop up, I lose my balance, and I begin to fall Deep into an abyss, a magical abyss With walls that close in more and more the farther I drop. As the yellow light above me slowly dims, I expect a rope, a ladder, anything, But there is no one there to save me. I realize the opening I see is a barrel, And I am staring directly into its wide-eyed face. A click tells me that the trigger is ready, As the melody overtakes me and I am caught in a whirlwind of music. Spinning, spinning, everything going round and round All I can see is the darkness behind my eyelids. So I cry out loud yet again But no one comes to my side, Which doesn’t matter, I guess – I don’t want my skin to be a bulletproof sheath, Protecting and preserving my unyielding wall. I want the demons to infiltrate my soul and strip me of this agony So that I can finally smile amidst the ocean’s fury As the tornado destroys my mind And the tendrils of the music pull me in.
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Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 8:29 PM UTC
Here I Am
I feel the tendrils creeping in Wrapping around my core, my neck The muscles slowly strengthen, suffocating me Making my calls so muted they’re virtually nonexistent. I’m shouting though I can’t breathe, But no one can hear my screams from the Deep, dark trenches of the shadowy sea As unbeknownst creatures emerge, Leaving their places of sweet asylum And intruding upon mine, Yet, I still am stranded here in this place. I don’t even know where I am, But the voices of fear and insecurity in my mind, Tell me what I need to do - when, why, how - Steadily I hear a crescendo of a piano some distance away, So far, almost on the outskirts of the complex town inside my mind, Though I discover the music is waiting just around the bend. A flats, F sharps – getting louder, louder! “Stop!” I am screaming now Or at least I think that’s me. But the music blocks out my voice That tender little voice of mine. Suddenly, as I see a blonde-haired head pop up, I lose my balance, and I begin to fall Deep into an abyss, a magical abyss With walls that close in more and more the farther I drop. As the yellow light above me slowly dims, I expect a rope, a ladder, anything, But there is no one there to save me. I realize the opening I see is a barrel, And I am staring directly into its wide-eyed face. A click tells me that the trigger is ready, As the melody overtakes me and I am caught in a whirlwind of music. Spinning, spinning, everything going round and round All I can see is the darkness behind my eyelids. So I cry out loud yet again But no one comes to my side, Which doesn’t matter, I guess – I don’t want my skin to be a bulletproof sheath, Protecting and preserving my unyielding wall. I want the demons to infiltrate my soul and strip me of this agony So that I can finally smile amidst the ocean’s fury As the tornado destroys my mind And the tendrils of the music pull me in.
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45
Ever since, I've been afraid of the telephone ringing: That metallic chime intruding at any second Drawing us from our ornaments to "have you seen her?" "Have you seen her?" Maybe if they hadn't told me to get the phone that day It wouldn't be quite so bad still But every time I see that tree in our living room Standing for family, love, hope Everything that was smashed that day All around me and entirely within me Replaces again all that's been slowly healed That red little ball falling From shaky hands and weak branches Shatters on the floor with a sound like a telephone And those red little pieces linger just to be stepped on Just to draw blood And there is Still Blood Two dead and however many phone calls Shattering ornaments at every little decorating party Where someone is stupid enough to say "I'll get it" And everyone else is stupid enough to care, Like humans do, About all the things they can't control. Like the snow falling, I mean, There's no need to scream at the sky- Your god can't hear you. Just go back to the Christmas tree And pick up where you left off. There's probably 800 dead in Syria today anyway And I can't seem to make myself give a **** about that, so Why should I even really care all that deeply if There's one less ornament on my tree?
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Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 9:33 PM UTC
When We Were Putting Up the Christmas Tree
My ex almost lover slides down the page of my messages. I've got a whole book of faces, and his is the only one I'm looking for. I have to click the 'see all' button to even catch a glimpse of him, And even then, it is only his back in the mirror as he walks away. I count days, hours, moments. I memorize lines, words, syllables. Soon, I will make the decision to try to forget him. The lovely ex almost lover does not know this. He thinks (at least I imagine he does) that I've already forgotten. *But he beats a staccato song inside my chest, like a hard rain on packed, dry earth. He wakes me every night with his silence, Like summer coming to an end, the cicadas ceasing their chorus.   You don't know how accustomed your ears have become, How much you need that sound, until it vanishes, Becoming nothing more than an echo of memory.* A week goes by before you ever realize what it is that has been intruding on your sleep. There is an absence of the familiar, and to keep yourself from falling off the edge into the abyss,   'dear God, will I spend the rest of my life alone?' (Breathe!) That habit of loving shadows reinvents itself. *Once, I believed in fairy tales. Maybe, I always will.*
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Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 1:54 PM UTC
clap your hands, tell me you believe
My heart have no brakes Just on a ride with the winds Pretending to be deaf to what they say For they are pointless like his dreams. I can imagine the busy nature of a busy bee But my heart is busier indeed Discussing the issues of life in a silent plead Still no ears ever listened to him. My heart, a beautifully shapeless engine of life Travelling far and wide Intruding without being noticed Harming not, adventure, learning are his motives. Daily arguing against nature Often in his extreme corner fighting for the weak Heart broken by the harsh policies of his nation My fate is his only whip.
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Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 2:10 AM UTC
My Heart.
The rain pelts the window, The Boyfriend who tries to get my attention, Throwing its rocks at the window, But I ignore and continue on with my work. Mrs. Livingston wants a paper written A 5 page paper And Things like annoying rain mustn’t distract me. Though the rain is easy to ignore There is one thing that I can’t ignore. Him. He is there in the back of my mind Occupying the space where numbers from math class should be, Where my History homework on Napoleon should be, Where He shouldn’t be. Golden eyes flash before me once the room goes white, A scent seduces my nose though it’s in my mind Just a memory brought back to life A ghost intruding when it need not. Why? Why can’t he leave me alone? Yet I know it’s not him that’s in the wrong It’s me And My gay ways. Latching onto him Clasping his words in its hands Soaking up every syllable Every word Everything about him Like a sponge soaking up the bubbles , suds, water, and germs. The paper! I must get back to the paper! He can’t be in my mind when I have much writing to do. But I like him. More than like him. I remember when at first I dug my heels into the ground Refusing to fall Then as time went on The heels got eroded The ground beneath me got eroded My determination was eroded. And I Fell. An object forced to the ground not because of gravity But because he had something about him Something that made my body sing, With bulking, twisting, and jittering. Was it his smile? That one little curve. That one little curve with such shine And such sweetness It could melt ice And have more sugar than a pack of Hershey Kisses. Maybe his hair? The constant loops Of Wheat Of sand Of soft wool. Taking me on a ride that never seem to end. Or perhaps his Words and Speech? The constant dragging out words The sweet tune of the Hillbilly in his vocals. Lost in his words that never made sense Until I thought more of it. Or maybe his demeanor? The laid back student who dreams of going cross country in a van. The one who seems to have everything figured when he can’t figure if he is up or down. The one who attracts the negative and it turns to problems The one who surprises me with his out of the blueness. And takes me on such a high that it shatters by heart when he drops me. I have to stop. He is taken from me That is a thought I mustn’t forget. Why spend this time Thinking Wanting Loving Liking Wishing Hoping When he has been taken from me. I must finish the paper. I don’t have much time.
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Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013 at 10:43 PM UTC
Not doing the paper instead I think of him
The rain pelts the window, The Boyfriend who tries to get my attention, Throwing its rocks at the window, But I ignore and continue on with my work. Mrs. Livingston wants a paper written A 5 page paper And Things like annoying rain mustn’t distract me. Though the rain is easy to ignore There is one thing that I can’t ignore. Him. He is there in the back of my mind Occupying the space where numbers from math class should be, Where my History homework on Napoleon should be, Where He shouldn’t be. Golden eyes flash before me once the room goes white, A scent seduces my nose though it’s in my mind Just a memory brought back to life A ghost intruding when it need not. Why? Why can’t he leave me alone? Yet I know it’s not him that’s in the wrong It’s me And My gay ways. Latching onto him Clasping his words in its hands Soaking up every syllable Every word Everything about him Like a sponge soaking up the bubbles , suds, water, and germs. The paper! I must get back to the paper! He can’t be in my mind when I have much writing to do. But I like him. More than like him. I remember when at first I dug my heels into the ground Refusing to fall Then as time went on The heels got eroded The ground beneath me got eroded My determination was eroded. And I Fell. An object forced to the ground not because of gravity But because he had something about him Something that made my body sing, With bulking, twisting, and jittering. Was it his smile? That one little curve. That one little curve with such shine And such sweetness It could melt ice And have more sugar than a pack of Hershey Kisses. Maybe his hair? The constant loops Of Wheat Of sand Of soft wool. Taking me on a ride that never seem to end. Or perhaps his Words and Speech? The constant dragging out words The sweet tune of the Hillbilly in his vocals. Lost in his words that never made sense Until I thought more of it. Or maybe his demeanor? The laid back student who dreams of going cross country in a van. The one who seems to have everything figured when he can’t figure if he is up or down. The one who attracts the negative and it turns to problems The one who surprises me with his out of the blueness. And takes me on such a high that it shatters by heart when he drops me. I have to stop. He is taken from me That is a thought I mustn’t forget. Why spend this time Thinking Wanting Loving Liking Wishing Hoping When he has been taken from me. I must finish the paper. I don’t have much time.
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There was something about the silence Something about the “Our little secret”, “Don’t tell anybody” silence That kept intruding into our conversations On Friday afternoons The silence was the ex-boyfriend Who ****** his “I love you’s” and “Baby”s Right from his lips. The silence was the ex-husband Who demanded him to pay for everything With him avoiding eye contact as acceptable payment. The silence was the ex-lover Who stole the romance As it slowly got of his bed taking with it his words and love. The silence was the reason I stopped talking to him.
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Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 8:40 AM UTC
The silence