This poison is intoxicating. A drug sending you into the oblivion. Enraptured by the taste and the feeling of impeccable deliverance. It's just what the doctor order, a spoonful of laced sugar. A placebo effect with nothing but the risk of cancer eating away your insides. Green in color, like the skin beneath the coating of a candy apple. It enters your system like a rock through a glass window. Shattering reality, while constructing a world of make believe.  

This addiction is poisoning. An intoxication crawling inside her veins. The ever present itching there just below the girls pale skin. Waiting for her next fix.

One more hit...
Just one more.
O'please, give me more.
More;
more;
more;

This poison is blinding, an addiction of the soul. The disorder of the weak mind, with nothing else to hide.

One more hit...
Just one more.
O'please, give me more.
More;
more;
more...

I drink too much but it gives me the pleasure of intoxication,
One too many ramifications,
I smoke too much to stun my heart of its beat,
All to avoid the acceptance of defeat.

Problems are associated with you
It's hard to get through
Talking to myself, judging myself and hating myself
So alone without anyone's words of comfort, but oneself

I feel like I want to hurt those who have hurt me.
One too many reasons not to accept their plea
Smoke and mirrors everywhere
One too many reasons not to stay here.

Green fading to a dusky brown
The leech-like heat
That clings to your body
Menory of a desperate lover at the final goodbye.
Summer was here.
And with it
thoughts of lust,
intoxication
and broken promises
to match shattered hearts

when i warned you not to fall in love with me
i didn't foresee the true future
where you took my advice, and i, well
i lost myself to your clouds

this memory is one of my favorites
where you and i went to the baseball game
with your parents and
your dogs that hated me
and we walked around the stadium
the sunset was almost as beautiful as you
then you begged your mother for beer
but instead you found intoxication
from in between my thighs

and then there was the time we got lost
on the way to annapolis,
our minds too cloudy to figure out the gps
so instead you got pizza, and i got frozen ice
but we were together and happy
before anything ever happened

do you remember when
we walked through the forest and i
expressed to you my love for radiohead and we
shared our deepest secrets on a rotted log

please remember the time
we first stayed the night with each other
it's hazy, but i can clearly see
your hands all over me
where waking up next to you
was the most refreshing place

and the times we spent naked together
our bodies intertwined, unafraid
of judging eyes, of wandering minds
where we were one

now you can't see past
the times i left shattered in my wake
and i suppose i deserve the solitude more
than your hands around my throat
although i'd much prefer the latter

you're gone and i gotta stay high
all the time
to keep you off my mind

i'm waiting for the words to make a difference
but you always focused on my actions
where they were shaky and full of twists and turns
places where your mind couldn't follow

i have done more wrong to you
than i could ever think to do
and it's like i've dragged myself across
a bed of all the blades
used in your name

i just want to wake up where you are,
one day.

Tattoo'd songstress,
Contralto vocals from a
Broken heart, Cohen's bird
On a wire, exalting freedom
All the while tied to intoxication,
Those who loved her
Wished her well, but she was
Pressgang'd, harassed
Until she finally flew away,
Leaving only that voice
Her Spirit trapped in a CD case.

We all know the story of a blade to sensitive skin, hiding an even more emotional soul. What they do not know is how the blade is so out of place. It isn't wanted there. We all know the outcome a sliced arm and a shattered soul.
Its like reading a book and never wanting it to end in fear of finding out the ending, whether they do get together, or whether they did actually die or it was all a dream. We don't want to know, we want to keep imagining their lives and their adventures.
So why is my favourite series written all over my body, but not in a language anyone can understand?

Kaleidoscopic intoxication
Planetarial mental immigration
Observation of the general population
The "civilization" hallucination
Control of all the corporations
Propaganda propagation
Colouration discrimination..
Humanitarian emancipation

The sky is falling...

The day was long and greedily waited,
in near unspoken secret - like a thing
delightfully and enchantingly wicked.

We are reunited - simpatico - my love, lover and I.
We ravish each other and lavish each other
with flattery, endearments and entire pleasure.

We live sweet centuries in those tight hours.

Happiness changes the tenor of things.
Rains of feeling combine in torrents,
like the tinkling notes of a harp make symphony.

Our minutest nerves are instruments of joy.

Mornings start with exquisite excitement and
the dense reel and stagger of intoxication -
because we’re drunk with the fullness of life.

Leaves on trees called chestnut, linden and hazel, stir
gently in the breeze - those faint shoos and rustles, times
nature’s fractal design - blare, in effect, like terrific trumpets.

At night, as we walk together under cooling summer skies,
the stars in the far-flung firmaments, seem to huddle together
and whisper, like sisters, of life and the mysteries of earthy love.

We are the dust of those constellations - are we but spies?
.
.
Songs for this:
Thank You My Angel by Over the Rhine
Perfect Day by Povo
Goodbye Sunday by Everything But the Girl

Walked passed the Patisserie today
My mind deep in thought,
Lo! They came in wafting
Clearly my nose they sought

I inhaled the sweet intoxication
Of fresh baked bread & pie
My destination was different
But my senses were on high

I stole a look at the counter,
the flaky pastry and the chocolaty eclair
A flood rose in my mouth
It was only but fair!

The delicious lemon ****
and the warm meringue pie
Desires in my heart and soul
That i just couldn't deny

So i paid my dues to the Devil
Settled for hot chocolate and sugar drizzled cinnamon roll
Destination be ******
I had just achieved my goal!

I look at you under the cabin
arms around her peek-a-boo waist,
rubbing her skin with the thin layer
of spilt beer on your hands.
The snow is falling in little specs
like words out of your mouth,
the lights inside keep dimming
with the slaps of people's hands
hitting the ceiling as they dance
to the beat of cheap pop music,
cigarette smoke waving the frozen air
like paint mixing on a palette.
Sloppy, you turn to me letting go of her
rubbing your eyes trying to catch yourself
on the pillar to your right.
Another swig of your drink,
you ask where I've been.
I didn't know how to answer.
I've always been here.
She comes up to your side,
leaning into your ribs like a bridge
that carry her over to your lips.
You looked at me to say something,
but your tongue was too busy
tasting the liquor in her mouth.
I turn my head tucking the hair behind my ear
pretending I was anywhere but here.
She pulls away with such sound
just to make sure I heard her
poison your sweet candy center
with promises of bare and willing.
With one giant tug she immediately has
your hand in her front pocket and looks at me
with glassy eyes full of determination
a smirk with glances towards you,
gray sweatshirt perfection,
then back at me just so I know
that she won with pursed lips and a chuckle.

As she wildly begs you to come inside,
your reluctantly turn
but look back at me
with the clearest definition:
"I'm sorry, but this is the way it is."
Yes, this is the way it is.
You, head spinning with intoxication
partying back inside, because you don't know
what else better there is to do
waking up in the morning
not knowing who's next to you.
And then there's me,
standing out in the cold
putting my hands back in their mittens
looking up at the yellow light in the window
catching your silhouette wrapping around hers,
but backing away without a tear
not even tempted
to go in and stop you,
I've lost you.
and I'm sorry
but that's the way it is.

Gotta release the stress
The only way I know how
Without an inebriation Or intoxication, type vacation, so now...

If only for a second, my weapon
To concentrate on conception
Of good karma, and ****** no one,
But often a ethical or moral direction

Leaves me second guessin
Do I even ask the right questions
When I'm answered with a lesson to
unfold more question So progression

Calls me infertile with contraception
That Clings like a
Chinese finger trap ****** and transgressions
Leaves Ramifications, or Consequence, Of my discrepancies,
To stir.... To bubble .. To boil..
Til the evil inside is a dichotomy, where good can try
but ego,tempts the unethical to hide
The moral fibers,
And seek pride
The pride it's chased being misplaced
Or erased for so long it's arbitrary,
As emotions ominous ocean Drowns it,
Til I'm surrounded
swallowed, like *****
and no help
Is self loathin or pity,
cuz it makes me a type of livid so vivid, even when it looks like it's asleep,
Still even Bill Cosby couldn't ****** it
knowin this is hell,
serves me well
And swells as its felt
From all the *******
...... I bring myself

Trust me I've tried to frame it
On anything like lazy People do immigrants,
but eventually I face it ...
Left with nothing but this release
That is the relief as a consolation
Airing my ****,
I try to keep in like some weird reverse constipation

Til I see stars but constellations
Even align to find a consultation
Gratuitous,
cause Im ******* abit
More than a bit,
so the offered achin'Im accepted,
cuz exceptions
Can't be made so I'm expecting my
Come around,
that went around
Like it goes around,
to my backside,
For a reach around.
Like ******,
I thought to be
The type of the
"try it once"anomaly
That didnt sound bad when awfully
Distracted indulging like an economy
Spending freely,
Makin commodities
Amenities and justify it like an idiotic neo Socrates to convince with a moronic
"YOLO"type Philosophy  
Maybe I shouldn't .....
But then again
YOLO ....
******* deep type ****
Cause in the end as men,
we invite in
Future discomfort if impulse hits
The present,
like the worst present
Ever presented to you,
but hell
Just for show ....
When i unwrap it
I'll act shocked,
and surprised...

I didn't realize this gifted go **** yourself was actually so literal...
So try not to **** yourself like I often do...unless...an ******* the residual

I bought a new swimsuit today,
pulling the material tight across my body.
Seams stretching,
Arms stretching as we bath in the free sunshine.
Bare feet, bare skin, and we bare our hearts as well.
You drink in the air, and I drink in you.
Too much, too fast.
Intoxication, infatuation-
found side by side in my thesaurus that sits on my shelf.
My shelf that holds all my swimsuits,
all with the tags still attached.

The shiny silhouette
Of an immaculate figure
Laying next to me
Her bare back is all I could see
Caressing the smooth skin
Could feel the goosebumps sink in
Those effervescent eyes of her
Froze the epoch in eternal animation
Her erogenous smile
Killed every bit of sanity concealed
My surreptitious virility
Cajoled to serenity
The intriguing aroma
Free strands of hair
Like a pulchritudinous portrait
Covered her face enigmatically
The bliss of air
Traversing a new path today
Kissing her neck & shoulder
Curse those lucky ones
A veil over the wise
An ingenious ingredient of disaster
**** thou dark eyes
They burnt a raging fire
Bright & blue
A sweet intoxication
A heart wrenching addiction
Conjuring up & discovering
Unexplored corners of heart
Let us play this game again
Where I’m a slave
And you’re the King insane
Unable to fathom my fate
The stupendous serendipity
Which brought together ends of infinity

Coffee blotched wool woven seats
Impassive solidarity on your ***
Dank rapidness
Screeching scream let loose as we transend
Through bleak blackness
Thoughts stream
"Wisdom teeth dont make you any brighter"
"But Starbucks coffee makes my stomach..."
...turn left
Stale air in my every crevasse
The doors to the train open
Crowded shuffles between aged avacado quiescent places
Those weary may rest on, float on
Shallow jolted perfume
As cucumber melon intoxication erupts
On undetermined destinations
Aspiring poets gaze
Out into the open world of
Twinkling city stars
On curved paths
On dipped forks in the road
"All passengers must exit"
Crowded shuffles between aged avacado quiescent places
Those weary return home

Seeing you again tears at my heart
ripping at old wounds
gaping with hope and sorrow,
emotion screaming out of me
down my face and out of my arms
that long to hold you again.

Don’t you see the pain?
Can’t you feel this chest
that beats without a heart?  
Haven’t you felt this too?
I bleed more each time I see you
Making me weaker to its numbing intoxication.

Letting go, I must find an ending,
But where to start
when the ending is not defined.

The darkness fills from top to bottom
an undisturbed wicked spiral
farther from what's inspiration
I continue to slide

Darkness nags from all around
etching pain on my skin
peeling away at what I used to be
I was happy

My palms upturned, beg forgiveness
let my penance be destruction
this decay is sinking
swallow me

Is this darkness obvious
are my eyes dyed black
where went that inspiration
I am transparent

Sway, from side to side
dizzy from intoxication
****** from fornication
breath....
in,out,in,and out
panic drives this man
sit on the edge of the middle
wish to be more like them
them.....
them.....

Darkness increasing
soul is fleeing
this inspiration rapes me
breeds me
breeds in me
consumes me
amuses me to no end

but still i am only me
CANT YOU SEE
WONT YOU SEE
i live only for the darkness
the sorrow
the horror and gore
a make believe world
catching the phrase
paraphrasing the past

i am only darkness
i am lonely darkness
i am a shadow of was
a memory of where
a glimpse of who
a dash of what

Count my sins, darkness
on your bitter fingers and toes
give rhythm to my woes
give forgiveness for the excursions
i have made to the darkness

Betray my lighting effect
expose my soul
deny the trust I held in dark
on a box i stand, a one man show

darkness is my inspiration

I sip your essence, it rushes through me,

                   swells upon a quiver of my mind

blushing up against my burnish'd lips

                      boldly filling my ***** with warmth

reminiscing the surrender of our souls

                               traces of your lingering aromatics

musky scent of sandalwood and lust

                       my eyes drew you in of dire ecstasy

drinking in your sweet fragrant notes

                        surging high above memory's intoxication

The crackling fire spits sparks into the night sky
The atmosphere is alive with bright hues of burnt sienna
Lighting your sober face with such pure beauty, that sadness cannot thrive.
As the dawn approaches, our love is more real than anything I've known.

Your eyes, blue as the sky with a hint of a storm cloud approaching.
Your smile is genuine and so sincere, I forget every other lover I've known.
Your physique is so perfectly masculine, every part of my body throbs in anticipation of your touch...............

The first taste of the change in your standard behavior
Left a welt upon my cheek and stung like bee with an addiction to hurt.
Your bitterness eats me alive, when the change of personality occurs....
So much so, I feel buried alive within the ground, slowly suffocating by the dirt thrown into my mouth.

Perfect?  I am certainly far from Jesus and believe me, I do sin.
Its difficult to remain unscathed or without retaliation, Ping-Pong, if you will.
Separation from the pain that scars, is self defense against all I know.
Refusal to be open-minded to the chance you are mistaken stunts the lessons we are to learn from each other.

Beating me into the ground with a shovel..  
Echoes of a tormenting, repetitive thud in a rhythmic balance of treble and bass....
Shakes me from my toes, violently shuddering with anger, sometimes fear.
Sorrow aches within my body from somewhere deep within ..

And as the cycle starts again from sweet to sadistic...
Our hearts break a little more and wicked thoughts invade our purity.
As I lay here alone, I truly wonder if we will be able to withstand our cruelty to each other.

No matter what we want in this relationship of stormy seas...
We can't move on in a healthy direction without some kind of compromise.
No matter how much I love and adore you,
I can't be caged like an endangered species, with wings  that have been clipped for my own protection.

The awareness I possess of my own faults and provocative ways, can't seem to filter through
When intoxication and anger are in control of you, you seem to co-exist with a savage who slowly tortures me.
Your words are like demonic zombies running rampant in a kindergarten yard.
My flesh is being ripped apart as the blurs of a million of them scratch and claw as they furiously circle me and isolate their victim.

As I have declared many times before, I am no innocent.
I do not regard your sensitivity to my crazed, moody outbursts.
So spoiled sometimes, that I forget that my tongue can be the fork that eats you alive.
Used to getting everything I desire, before my mind comprehends the damaging violence....
My requests become demands that poison your view of me,  incinerating any growth we have worked for.

My addiction and your affliction divide us into destructive, savage... yet well-trained soldiers.
As we fight over petty subjects that truly don't need the attention we grant them...  
We both lose a battle we don't even realize is going on within ourselves.
Is it really that important to be right, if it means we are always going to be wrong?   For each other?

Now, as my pen has brought me to see what is the true reality without placing blame...
My question to you : Do you love me enough to see this through, while we both change things that hurt and cause catastrophic damage to a blessing we have been gifted with by God?
I know my love for you is stronger than any bitterness within my heart...

The hours that I have been writing this poem, as I wandered the streets aimlessly and without ever finding any peace
......But can you really truly understand that even when you aren't right by my side, my heart belongs to only you?
Can you absorb the words that coincide with my feelings of loving you, unconditionally??
Can we get through this and get to the other side ?  

I can only imagine how strong our bond will be just over the current obstacle put in our path.  
Only together seeking God's guidance and grace, while we both seek support from each other...
Will we be able to see the beautiful rainbow, God's promise given as a sign,
Patiently awaiting  our self-control, discipline and purity of heart to learn the lessons we must learn and incorporate into our lives.

Forgiveness is key, for I know the blame game is too often, played.
I'm not willing to give up.....
            I've felt the bond between us and I know how rare it is.
We can learn so much if we don't let outside influences win and say goodbye.

I'm tired of running in circles,
Aren't you tired of sleeping in your clothes?
Can we muster the strength to truly begin anew without fear of anger and loss?
Or does it matter to you what the peace and love will have conquered or will you only think of what it has cost?

And four white walls
were caving in on me
Feeling claustrophobic in a room all alone
like surrounded by germs
sneaking up in my skin and running through my veins
I'll cry myself sober
'til the darkness escapes my head
Though an empty bottle
lies in the palm of my right hand
that isn't all that's left
With a cigarette between my lips
Unlit
The cancer in my body will crave
it's taste but instead feel it's touch
Deceived
like empty promises
The tears that fall from my eyes
will race down my cheeks
the same way I ran for your love
They'll drip down my chin
The same way you pushed me off the cliff
They'll sink into my jean pockets
The same way my body decomposed into the dirt of the ground
And they'll evaporate
The same way your brain had amnesia over my soul
Oblivion
We're all going to die anyway
But being forgotten was my only fear
Especially by you..
I can't touch heaven,
And that's why I wanted you
Because I know
that there are no good men in this world
that will take me to heaven
thus a bad boy will bring it to me
No silverware cutlery is needed
And no silver platter has to deliver it
Can a soul like mine rest reassured
with a haunting memory
like your smile etched in my head?
Will a soul like mine travel
to the afterlife in confidence
with a warm hand hooked to mine,
like I have nothing to lose
so long as I have you?
When that whiskey had me feeling pretty
the irony is that you were the alcohol
You were the intoxication in my body
that left me overdosed on your perfume
You were the feelings that I bottled up
in fear of spilling you out
You were the bitter sweet smell
that left my eyes staring into the blur
Was it the real or the fake?
Or should I have read in between the lines?

when you left me
gin became my new lover
smooth and hot
intoxication of a new type

when i lick my lips
i no longer taste your mouth
instead my tongue burns of pine
and my body welcomes it with pleasure

the feeling of you has been replaced
with the overwhelming, untouchable feeling of a drunken stupor

As I turned to a familiar canine eared mark,
a sense of warmth stifled my breathing.

The skin on my thumbs became raw
Pulsated with the beat of my heart,
While rubbing against the worn paper.

The raised ink of each letter
Smoothed out softly
Underneath the pressure of my fingers.

The smell of old rain clinging to the dying foliage:

Intoxication.

The sounding of thunder drew my senses to attention.

Hairs and synapses standing, saluting at the ready all in neat formation

Memories and narrative flooded my mind with delusions of love, anger, and sorrow;

As only it could.

You drew me in, in that special way you do
Pulled into your space without resistance
A deer in headlights in total awe of you
Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance
Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean
Beautiful and harsh, full of passion
Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion
Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection
The sweet taste of your lips on mine
Makes butterflies swarm my whole body
Hidden nerves, corner kisses, crossing the line
We don’t mind, and it’s fun being naughty

So to you I raise my glass
Cheers for bringing me intoxication
A toast for every slap of my ***
A smile, for every bit of our infatuation

Tormented, deranged,
The world from upside down
Walking on a silver sky,
Looped in luscious echoes,
Reflecting memories of her silhouettes

An angelic beauty of youthfulness
The streaming river of honey
Down her fountain of ecstasy
From where I drunk cups of pleasure
Tethering my soul to her trickery

I now burn from within,
A fire dragon of intoxication
Boiling cells in my blood,
Racing through my now rusty heart,  
The rising temperatures of addiction

I’m tired of missing you and how hard it is to tell you that I do
I have this built up illogical fear that your one step away from out of sight.
A dog fears lightning, curled up in a corner
yet a butterfly has no fear of the web its flying into
Fools
I guess fear doesn’t always make sense, it’s still real though
Real enough to make my insides churn anyway

It was my birthday yesterday
and an old lover’s birthday is today, but he died so I there wont be any celebration.
Makes me feel guilty I have such a hard time being alive at times, him being dead and all.
It also reminds me how hard it is to loose someone you care about
And how slowly loosing my grasp on you makes me ache

You are quite literally a drug to me
And when I don’t get you I go insane
I wilt, as quick as a plucked dandelion
and my petals fall and collect at my feet and I watch it and I hate it.
I need my fix, the disgusting addiction that you are
So ****. You.
Because I need you’re your hands all over me and your sweat dripping on my skin from vigorous *** sessions, once, twice, three times a night
and the bruises you make and mark’s you leave behind
Sweet intoxication on my lips
I need to kiss you and be adored by you...

I’m not sure if I’m in love with you
and I’m sorry I said that I was but I was drunk and you felt so good

Last night I told you I was dissatisfied. I might’ve lost you in that moment. Or maybe you lost me.
I’ll try to be alone,
even though I don’t want to be.
Maybe were only together so were not alone
cause being alone *****
Mostly when you don’t have the choice.

Every ounce of pressure against my veins,
like the flood of heavy summer rains.
Trying to escape the coating of my flesh,
internal tensions I could not oppress.
I hear crickets, smell the morning dew.
All I can ever concentrate on is you.
Made to feel nervous but oh so calm,
sometimes even sweet like cherry lip balm.
A moment of combustion then release,
your tongue wanders onto my body, into a crease.
I'll never care if I get rich,
so ever long as you ease my twitch.
Stale smoke and the scent of butane,
breath seeps into me like a bloodstain.
You, a child at heart
and I, a freak into abstract art, like Ad Reinhardt.
What a fine creation, our own constellation,
an innovation, better than intoxication.

Earthen Valentine


See where love is divined

Fly a kite on Cape Hatterious as you move among shadows in the wood follow the deer it’s a perfect guide to the gentle heart you
Posses with brightest red blanket throw it out ward let it flow gently down on a grassy field it too lights the way to valentine
Encounters or stand on the platform of a subway let the silver cars flash by like a slide show at high speed as you look at the windows
Envision your heart’s desire seated within speeding into the dark tunnel the inky black where you pull out memories that are white as
Orchids and have a delicate nature that draws from you tender lingering thoughts that can bring mist to your eyes from sadness
Touched evoked by a flashing scene that you remember that was cherished now it holds a pang regrets like a great cluster of fruit
In those by gone times what acute lines they drew they characterized their true meaning others didn’t care to take the time to know
Those in that way but you found it all satisfying when eyes engage others with a piercing lens that looks up and out of the heart loves
Joy bells ring and you are given to singing carefree paths you stroll down with a certain someone the sun breaks forth with special
Ray’s two hearts beat so powerfully intoxication occurs time and space is lost you unknowingly have taken a divergent course that is
Simply grand funny how another’s touch the holding of a hand can effect earths reality and usher you in to a place of wonder if it could
Be outwardly recorded I guess it would sound like distant gentle thunder sight is afforded lovers that others never find or notice the
Natural world holds sweet refrains that spill from shaded glens or shadows that walk side by side in the brightest sun light oh to fix
Your compass only to these climes at least at this special honoring of those who love and are loved these are just shared thoughts for
You to feel and experience on Valentine’s Day this is a little of what I see in your lives that are so richly blessed I’m not forgetting those
Who have lost loves to me it is outwardly sad but inwardly I know love never dies just close your eyes and inwardly a glowing will
Occur whoever is missed is available through love’s undeniable portal it happened it doesn’t have to defy logic it was it always is if you
Ever told someone you loved them you if you were truthful you always will their might be impregnable material in this natural world
But love burns and penetrates other worlds its felt only as soft as a wisp of wind but if you hold it pursue it at its end there you will
Find your special valentine living their hearts and minds touching you examining you in finest detail and they aren’t limited as you by
Earth bound restraints breathe deeply a romantic breeze seeks only your heart lips and eyes and in the best sense it is mind blowing.

You caught me off guard.
You threw me for a loop.
I've been left confused, speachless, and breathless.
You think you love me.
You say you have these "feelings for me".
What does any of that even mean?
I have to believe that it was all stemmed from the intoxication.
A mere drunken moment.
You can't love me.
You don't even know me.
Maybe, you love the idea of me.

****. I wish you wouldn't have said that.
Now I'll just be waiting for you to leave just like everyone else.
I'll go on automatic self-destruct.
I'm like a time bomb.
It's likes personal bet to see how fast I can make you leave.

Why won't I just let myself be happy for once?

I.
from one direction a voice is heard
the Word pours forth from the mountain
i hear the language of the birds
truthfully we converse often
they recount tales of passion
beauty and satisfaction
our mutual attraction is gaining energy
i feel the pressure building
its all consuming
like a waterfall it threatens to engulf me
and dissolve me in its intoxication
her scent is everywhere
a constant reminder of the divine
i am taunted by her essence
her fragrance and her spine
inflict mortal wounds
dare to hold her tight
if you do the energy of love
will overcome her
sweet innocence
bound to the intellect
essential qualities
of communication
sensuality
actualize presence
in feeling and form
i freeze
her beauty is numinous
surreptitiously blooming it almost fooled me
she took hold of my insides
it lingers near me
i sleep within her memory
can i shield myself from this surge of music
hunger and inclusion
an institution of feeling

II.
her eyes are furnaces
her breath vapor
never less than the totality
of liquid light crashes
fast and than slowly
the rhythm laughs at our feebleness
saturated innocence
bursting out like steam from coal ovens
simple ecstasy is my only hope
form is pain
a prayerful reminder of our impermanence
swiftly **** me and i shall dance on your grave
sledgehammers finish off the drudgery
some moments are pounding
others are cool like the crystal ocean
a depth and vision is necessary
i am in need of shelter from her fire
a muse that burns all that she inspires
a silent lover of beauty
furthering her art
between the spaces of dreams
our fingers slip into everything
and become tangled like twine
rest here and unwind your heart strings
the scintillating heat
is blinding yet rejuvenating
if you are my love then uncover your soul
give naked silence a chance to grow
surround my faithless jungle
with your vines of hope
i am conscious of the lack of rope
for happiness is binding
like kindness climbing invisible ladders
shatter the silhouette of your perfect idol
sneak a peak at a photograph you have kept hidden
silver visions destined to uncover
the lust of beauty
smiled in my direction
if we wish to dance then circle around the fire
aspire for magic to abolish your name
switch places with the shadow
and feel the earth with your skin
give us a reason for you to be here
or you better start swimming

III.
what is this feeling
of loneliness and shame
as it arises i witness our pain
like flaming eagles
it circles high in the sky
our instability gives rise to flight
you gave me the impression
that you were alright
now i know the difference
between the darkness and the light
as featureless women
become a formless sea
of instant gratification
is this the medicine i seek
our trials and tribulations are tripping me
every which way i reach
i feel you chasing after me

IIII.
never quite on time
we run always behind
i am dancing in flaming spirals
a feather high up in a tree
i am a shepherd and i am a chief
i am the river, the mountain and the sea
life gets hectic and full of noise
in the confusion we reach out for toys
to anchor us to reality
yet it never works
these childish games remain shallow
and keep us narrowly awake
barely alive
what a dismal dive
into lakes of cold liquid
refreshed by the water and the ice
somehow our humanity survives

I cry black tears for the poor
the hungry
the homeless
the war-wounded souls of yesterday
I cry black tears for the pain
the sorrows
the hopeless
loneliness causes surrender
Those who's feet ache of life and loss
Those who have given up
Waving their white flag
Who no longer cry any tears at all

I cry kaleidoscope tears for the happy
the ones in love
the free
the relief of air after being underwater
I cry kaleidoscope tears for the memories
of laughter
of sunbeams
of freedom
Tears that shine of happiness
Showing the intoxication of love
Radiating like sunbeams from cheeks
Giving off that psychedelic ambiance
Smiles spreading like a fever
Infecting those who stare

It was kind of like you were injecting me with yourself
Except you keep missing the vein.

The bruises on my arms became the out-played artsy reminder of your actuality
Though you made sure that when the reminder faded and healed you were right there to bring me back into your world of needles and twisted gravity

What makes you think you can leave for weeks
You're standing near but you've never been further away from my desperate grasp

The withdrawal of you is excruciating
Like a recovering alcoholic in a liquor store except there's no automatic door or transparent window to reveal a salvation on the other side.

The only salvation is taking another hit of you
So, that is what I shall do
Until the day I overdose on your *intoxication .