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"insidiously" poems
we damage our feet squeezing into stilettos we pluck our eyebrows we polish our toes we **** in our stomachs afraid of what the scales will show we scrub ourselves with a thousand lotions spray ourselves with perfumes it's as if we need to be sanitised from the dirtiness that we learnt from the womb from all the messages that we've consumed messages insidiously obscuring the truth
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Feb 18, 2021
Feb 18, 2021 at 11:30 AM UTC
the truth about womanhood
You knocked I opened the door, in you came. At first you felt safe as you settled in, familiarised yourself with my space with my most intimate belongings. Then you slowly but determinedly vandalised my space. I asked you to stop, to leave. Each time you went out the front door you insidiously returned through the back door when I was not looking. You burglarised my heart, my soul, my mind. Your lies and deception became my super glue You knew it and you abused it. I wasn’t swift enough to get away. At first we were easy, as time went on a knot formed in my stomach. Tightening and tightening I never knew what was next. You locked me into your deception. Fierce enough to keep me where you wanted, as you wanted. You walked away no better than a con-artist, A thief A thief of my heart, my soul, my mind You know what you did Now I see it clearly I will take you on As I find my feet again And regain my space My resolve To face you in a court of law To challenge your abuse of my soul and mind.
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Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013 at 10:06 AM UTC
When I was Not Looking
Days become better Days become bitter Last month I was happy This month I am unkind. The fog steals me away. When the days are good I wonder to myself "When will it start slipping? I know too well it is coming soon." Then morning comes And I feel a slight fog insidiously creeping darkening my mind. Suddenly the sun doesn't shine as bright. Suffocating air catches in my throat And my heart is an awful weight in my chest. on the verge of exploding, Thumping harder. Pumping bad blood. Hot and sick. All I have to do is open my eyes to see that things are not what they should be, And an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness blankets me in my own disappointments. Soon enough the days will become brighter. It will be easier to live in my skin, And the fog will ebb out. But I know it hasn't disappeared. The fog is just waiting. It will be back.
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Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 12:59 PM UTC
Overwhelming Feeling of Hopelessness
Time’s ominous perpetual precipice looms, Darkly beckoning with gilded motives. The student’s curse worming insidiously throughout the best intentions The enemy’s ticking fingers foreshadow their fate, But like blinded deer, we frolic obliviously, Blissfully remiss in our duty as the forgiven. Twilight nears, but we are still frozen in the sun.
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Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 7:27 PM UTC
Procrastination
An army of plastic fellows shelter from the pouring rain. Hiding under shrubs and trees. Guarding the garden insidiously. They're on patrol again. Sat by the pond, musing. Nattering in their lingo gnome. Unheard by ears of men. They watch nature in balance. Peeping at the trees. Guarding their mothers security. Mother Nature gives them trees, and grass and bumble bees. Go out for a while, come back and smile. They carried out with precision all the garden chores. Come rain or shine, they live out doors. Those gnomes took control of the garden their home. They leave you a job, you come out with your mower. They are a touch to small. They can however, *** and **** When they're in your garden, they are, they sow the seeds. They natter to each other in their own sweet dulcet tones. After carrying out security. They're still just garden gnomes! (c) Livvi
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Apr 18, 2014
Apr 18, 2014 at 4:52 AM UTC
Gardening!
“maybe in another life, louis,” i finally said, staring off at the distant city lights and buildings, feeling the cold creep insidiously into my bones. his name easily rolled off my tongue like a reflex — a muscle memory so deep-seated and yet so strange and unfamiliar now. silence filled the air and yet, at the same time, it was filled with other things — defeat, heartbreak, resignation, the sounds of vehicles speeding off. the pain gnawing in my gut. the regretful yearning. the need to just be stupid and reach out for his hand. the pain of knowing i couldn’t. the finality of the ending. and yet, here we stood, too close and too far. he nodded and stirred lightly, as if preparing to leave. my gaze shifted into his direction. his movements, still slow and graceful, and lit by the moon. it was almost too painful, almost too delicate, almost too poetic. i could still remember what falling in love with him was like. i could still remember him breaking my heart for the first time, until the time where there are no more pieces left to break. and i would’ve done it all again. he finally spoke, bringing me back to reality. it was almost too soft, too weak, but i heard it. “maybe in another life.”
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Dec 8, 2019
Dec 8, 2019 at 10:24 PM UTC
a litter of excerpts
FLAMES from furious friends fighting ferocious fears, forever forging faithful fellowship. INCESSANTLY incinerating iniquity in inner-selves. Ineffably influencing introspective introverts. RISING rapidly. radically rupturing rectitude rampantly, ravaging rancour. ENDLESSLY eclipsing earthly ecstacy. Eliciting elation.
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Feb 19, 2015
Feb 19, 2015 at 2:32 PM UTC
F.I.R.E (element challenge..)
You stood in the limelight before a shaft of blazing luminescence emitted from the zenith positioned matrix of all energy The brightness illuminated your radiant countenance as blackness enveloped around your structures as in a early baroque by Rembrandt Your form was made from the finest materials But your representatives stood in defiance going beyond their eroded gardens and trampled vegetation and beast underfoot; even defecated plutonium in my backyard and belched various gases in my face Luxury is still your ideology; all to sure in obtaining unlimited resources You are still heavily consuming the best still maintaining the frivolous notion that all is well never anticipating that time passes into the future The shaft of blazing sunlight has insidiously been replaced by a blinding interrogation lamp as darkness licks at your morals and creeps upon your very being small cracks are now being discovered upon your once lovely face No longer can you obtain desirous riches as readily as options become minimized, while playing and bullying a winning serious game of monopoly against poor countries Panic is beginning to take hold as reality overcomes frivolity You are starting to run, you have already left one of your golden combat boots in Vietnam; later pirated black gold from Mesopotamia under perjury and severed our nation with the fascistic sword of xenophobia, and plundered the spirits, at home, and other innocent minorities unjustly And nationalised yourself from a continent to an island regressing into itself; homogenized into exceptionalism and the nervous propagandized gnashing of Caucasian teeth But doubtless to say there is no reason for a prince to save you because you have gotten too old, much too corporatised, too corrupted, too soon, too fast, YOU MUST SAVE YOURSELF!! And I know you can And I know you can be that lady with that beacon torch of hope...once...again And whence comes the nourishment of love that flourishes once more...
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Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 6:58 PM UTC
America The Once Beautiful
You stood in the limelight before a shaft of blazing luminescence emitted from the zenith positioned matrix of all energy The brightness illuminated your radiant countenance as blackness enveloped around your structures as in a early baroque by Rembrandt Your form was made from the finest materials But your representatives stood in defiance going beyond their eroded gardens and trampled vegetation and beast underfoot; even defecated plutonium in my backyard and belched various gases in my face Luxury is still your ideology; all to sure in obtaining unlimited resources You are still heavily consuming the best still maintaining the frivolous notion that all is well never anticipating that time passes into the future The shaft of blazing sunlight has insidiously been replaced by a blinding interrogation lamp as darkness licks at your morals and creeps upon your very being small cracks are now being discovered upon your once lovely face No longer can you obtain desirous riches as readily as options become minimized, while playing and bullying a winning serious game of monopoly against poor countries Panic is beginning to take hold as reality overcomes frivolity You are starting to run, you have already left one of your golden combat boots in Vietnam; later pirated black gold from Mesopotamia under perjury and severed our nation with the fascistic sword of xenophobia, and plundered the spirits, at home, and other innocent minorities unjustly And nationalised yourself from a continent to an island regressing into itself; homogenized into exceptionalism and the nervous propagandized gnashing of Caucasian teeth But doubtless to say there is no reason for a prince to save you because you have gotten too old, much too corporatised, too corrupted, too soon, too fast, YOU MUST SAVE YOURSELF!! And I know you can And I know you can be that lady with that beacon torch of hope...once...again And whence comes the nourishment of love that flourishes once more...
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*Silent Killer, A Predator’s Smile, A Guise Engulfed In Disguise, A Child of Immaculate Torment, Her Diamond Lies, Insidiously Advent. Lost In Her Radiations, Trapped In Her Demented Seductions, Fenced By Her Hype, Immersed In Her Gripe. As The Clicker Goes Down, The Ideals Start To Facedown, As I Cauterize In Her Suicides, Ashes Divide, Weeping For Absolution, Filled With Consternation, Her Angel Eye’s Smirk, As I Charred Alive, Screams Slowly Vanishing In Void, Devoid Dismantled, Lured By Her Lust, Transcending To Dust.... - 03:07AM*
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Mar 7, 2017
Mar 7, 2017 at 4:37 PM UTC
I Cauterize In Her Suicide 2.0
I'm known for navel-gazing my way to elation, and am living in a country caught within the grips of frenzied matriculation. My insidiously malapert generation, my incessantly malcontent gene-nation. This is a Garden of Eden, Where is our guard of Eden? carefully removing all who are not heathen. Plucking the clouded excess from an already crowded bed of hegemony, as a gardener would and so should. It is a mirage, a far off oasis of Arcadia and I say this all unconcernedly, a basis for this absurdity. I have stolen my ego from god, I will carry this yoke readily, and I shall take up my axe doling out mechanically.
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Jul 4, 2010
Jul 4, 2010 at 11:03 PM UTC
A Stolen Ego.
When its sharp it storms the mind, swirls of smoke & hate combined- slither insidiously they entwine, damage done worse every time. Clouds to crave- poison waves seen through white glass & a delirious daze to dull forever an old sun's rays light which used to shine out always now bends inward, refracting in ways to disguise & confuse in an camouflaged haze. more & more & more & more of the curse that never ends, be it smoke or crystal spore or snake disguised as friend. I feel it deep within my core I desperately pretend you'll be back to fuel me or a hand someone will lend.
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Feb 22, 2017
Feb 22, 2017 at 1:53 AM UTC
A Crystal Method
I orbit myself a cyclical pattern No Beginning No End an elliptical motion Enigma at Center reflections of three.... me at the helm... Space... time, gravity.   A singular pluralism of exponential eternity as infinitesimal minutiae govern the ****** Not by lancing their eyes, but insidiously locking them in darkness, like masses are meant to be. But no... not me... as my gift of perspective has illuminated space ... to spectate the rats scrambling scrambling to win the race.
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Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 11:34 PM UTC
Infinime
Water seeping through the cracks of the hull, Creeping ever so insidiously. Filling the voids, but my fate is sealed. I sink. Resentment floods my thoughts, Quenching my thirst for vindication, And I feel that time will cure all, yet… I sink. I’m clinging on to flotsam and jetsam Drifting by, remnants of my pride. But the waves keep battering, and I sink. Seventy times seven is too large of a Number, or so I think. How to rid of the anchor tethered to My heel? I sink. Letting go of that anchor, a painful process. You may have skinned me alive, But I forgive you. For if I don’t, I’ll sink to the depths Of misery…. alone.
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May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 9:06 PM UTC
I Sink
A few ways exist Where green growth can destroy what was If large tree grows near Cutting it down will .. Definitely do what it does But the shattering thump When that plan is used is... Ow! we ended up with trump And a beautiful tree now dead When we randomly destroy There's no correcting a path There's just all in ..no fold Or with neglect what was Can be insidiously done in By the green growth of mold But go ahead and lump all Together left and right as 1 Not seeking any offshoots Because the best method To contol the destruction Sit in shade , encourage growth guiding the offshoot To become those mighty roots That's how you save the tree ,stay cool , deny the insidious parasites growth      And then .....you can with strong roots and decent Foundation have a stable structure      and ... something to build on. Or you can just burn it all down letting Anarchy prevail
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Aug 30, 2018
Aug 30, 2018 at 1:45 PM UTC
Natural upheaval
******* Bandit time is lost A gone forever shroud, Elusive as an errant fog That’s slipped into a cloud. Elusive as a crystal shard Mixed secretly with sand, You know the shard’s apparent When It lacerates your hand. Time lacerates your senses Like sand between the toes, It’s there and then it vanishes Like vapored mist it flows. Insidiously sneaky In the way it sidles up And gallops past like mercury, Frustration's heady cup. Were there ways to vanquish time To pause it in limbo, I would celebrate with agelessness And a glass of fine merlot. I would savour every nuance And roll it on my tongue For the taste of piquant victory Is a toast to battle won. Marshalg @ the Gate Mangere Bridge 19th January 2009
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Feb 20, 2010
Feb 20, 2010 at 1:34 AM UTC
Time Bandit
Easy-going energy moguls at Exxon Mobil, Insidiously sip scotch in their ivory towers, They take no blame for the blame is ours, We, the worker bees, were employed to **** the soil, Little did we know it was the hallowed ground under our very own families feet, Now we look towards our homes and see nothing but ash and hell fire, Our collective youth and countless hours of precious life, Traded for false abundance and counterfeit wealth, When it all burns will you still care about your bank account?
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May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 10:57 AM UTC
May 5th, 2016
Days have ventured by haphazard-quick but nevertheless captious opinionated as a castrated casuist numb but brain-ready over-drive constant thickened thoughts for the next fix... Whatever city you befriend whatever your home, boulevard far or closer Strip or Suburbia ever-green she is easy to find anyone looking a dirge in their eyes... As much as one would like to disappear with sniffing silence that comes when the nose itches white wishes or lungs burn to breathe cacophony... Days will drag on insect insidiously all the while, she waits to enliven Saturday night conversations becomes geode-gibberish gladness from a tunnel of a dollar bill a straw she knows / she stands in whatever city you befriend whatever your home she speaks your dry tongue a language that weeps escapism embolism... She is very forgiving: the space between numb & living.
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Nov 11, 2016
Nov 11, 2016 at 1:25 PM UTC
The Space Between (Numb & Living)
Behind the smile lurks insecurity, Within the eyes hid pain, All living there insidiously, Within the heart lay dreams, Visual images that in head space dwell, Seen when the body is awake, When the clock ticks magic moments, Resounding tick tock echoes, Sounds all rattle through my brain, Somewhat irrepressible, The clock reminds me I'm alive, Hearing all it's comments, One thing I have noticed, The clocks all sing in perfect time, They start to sing so loudly, Still in their perfect harmony, When all alarms invade, Announcing in their irksome serenade, In unison screaming out in not so dulcet tones Get up and make your tea...., Very abruptly, very soon, Another work day's calling thee! By ladylivvi1 © 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
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Aug 16, 2013
Aug 16, 2013 at 1:35 AM UTC
A Smile in Time!
How do we escape? This prison isn't steel, iron, even simple sticks. These bars are made of bone, wrapped in pleasure, flesh. Bound in nerves, veins. My prison is pulsing, beating. I know it's a trap, a misconception, but even so it's tempting to live in the moment, to do what gratifies me here, now. My body is a traitor, fallen, demanding, insidiously reaching.
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Feb 2, 2012
Feb 2, 2012 at 11:23 PM UTC
My Body
You stood in the limelight before a shaft of blazing light emitted from the zenith positioned matrix of all energy The brightness illuminated your radiant countenance as blackness enveloped around your structures as in an early baroque by Rembrandt Your form was made from the finest materials But your representatives stood in greedy defiance going beyond their eroded gardens and trampled vegetation and beasts underfoot, even defeacated plutonium in my backyard and belched various gases in my face Luxury is your ideology, all too sure in obtaining unlimited resources You are still heavily consuming the best still maintaining the frivolous notion that all is well never anticipating that time passes into the future The shaft of blazing sunlight has insidiously been replaced by a blinding interrogation lamp as darkness licks at your morals and creeps upon your very being No longer can you obtain desirous things as readily as options become minimized Panic is beginning to take hold as reality overcomes frivolity You are starting to run, you have already left one of your expensive golden combat-boots in Vietnam; later pirated black gold from Mesopotamia under perjury But doubtless to say there is no reason for a prince to save you because you have gotten too old, much too corporatized, too corrupted, too soon, too fast, YOU MUST SAVE YOURSELF!! And I know you can And I know you can be that lady with that torch again...
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Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 1:53 PM UTC
America the once Beautiful
Often wondering did I fall for someone like you ?? I wonder .... How I coudnt read through that perfect mask of devilry , that was laced with impregnable tenderness and chivalry . I wonder .... How you kept wounding me insidiously like a double edged sword , I not knowing countless pieces of me shattered for the record . I wonder .... How like a diseased infection you for me brewed malice , Inspite I kept infusing your venomous love into my every nerve and segment ... Coz baby " your love is my drug " I'm ADDICTED TO YOU .
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Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 1:17 PM UTC
IM ADDICTED TO YOU
Why do I bother with the anticipation of love (lust). No escaping the pain. One way or the other. Roulette at its finest. The love for family burns holes in my heart. Romantic love burns like cigarettes on the flesh. Searing the skin right before your eyes. Sometimes you can smell your smoldering ignited flesh. Other times in sneaks up behind and the *********** leaves you paralyzed. Insidiously leaving venom in your veins. The pain may never disipate.
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Apr 1, 2020
Apr 1, 2020 at 11:37 AM UTC
Skin
An old house sits in the deep-wood heart of the ancient forest-fen. It's crumbling stones fall farther 'eryday into the appointed state of sad decay. But why?! For does not the hope of man rest upon 'ery brick atop another, on 'ery cottage, 'ery palace, 'ery shack in misty glen? For these are the bricks of civilization, my dearest heart. So shore up the trembling walls, prop up the rotting rafters! For do we not, in this one act, prop up our tradition, our civilization, nay very lives of the People? But no. For see the climbing vines, creeping insidiously, through the mossy stone wall? See the mildew on the rafter beams, the fungi on the hearth? We all go to the ground, whether man or beast, or stick or stone. Whether tree or shrub or mistletoe, we all go back to the ground. I am old, my sweet, and I fear the day's not far, when my lids slide closed,(or don't, who knows?) and I'm walking Deaths cold halls. I beg you Rose, my sweetest flower, don't put me in the stone. Just bury me the old fashioned way, in dirt and rotting leaves. For I couldn't bear, to be buried there, in the cold And crumbling stone. "From dust I came, and to dust I shall go, at the end of things, or at least, at the end of me."
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Dec 20, 2014
Dec 20, 2014 at 11:38 AM UTC
An Old Mans Ramblings
Animosity allergens, dark as the Dracula’s dungeon, insidiously infects the heart. Vivacity begins to part. In the realm of my subconscious, I've confronted my madness. There’s a monster in me that should die- my morale withered and dry. My spirit polluted with hate- toxic as organophosphates. The psyche is a perpetrator who lusts for the power of ******   Drowning in the depths of darkness of my wild imagination, I’m shocked by this revelation! The epiphany of my evil- influenced by the vile devil, my ego- sinful and gruesome. Dear Lord, what have I become?
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Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 9:49 AM UTC
Darkness of my Subconscious
I am speaking to my future me. You love your wife, Adyson. I know when the demons come back with more force than the last time, this thought enters your mind: "Divorce your wife, this is unhealthy." The truth is, you're unhealthy. I know it's raw, but it's the truth. You are too consumed with yourself to even know the difference. You see, at this close of 2017 you looked to your right and told her: "I am happy." See, you're happy because she's the only one you have that truly understands you. How do I know? Take a good guess, I know you can do it. I'm guessing there's a good chance that she's feeling exactly the same way, or worse. You're taking a trip right now. You're stable tonight. Addy is stable tonight. You're driving to Keith's (or writing here on these pages mucking up your handwriting...) to be with your family and friends. Good friends. Going to get ********* and hoping to black out. And you're blessed to have your soulmatage right next to you, smoking chillum **** and "Natural" American Spirit cigarettes, and sipping on Mtn Dew. It's 2:17am, and you're about to ride the Music Express because it is picking up speed. No sleep for you tonight. Your mind is not clear. Next time you think to divorce your wife, hold onto that thought, because by doing so, you're giving yourself time. Time is key. If you feel that you should divorce your wife when you're well enough to have a clear perspective, then maybe you should consider it. Depression and mixed states will lie to you, insidiously, and without mercy. No mercy. I'm willing to bet at this point, however, that when your demon is back to sleep, if only for a minute, you'll only have to  look to your left while in bed in order to cultivate your prior burning love for her. For she loves you and you love her ... to death, even beyond your current living death. Rest assured, my good man, that it will end. Just give it time. Take a break. Go to sleep. Turn off your life for a moment, it'll help. The decision to take your pills is up to you, but consider taking them, too. They will probably help. Don't forget to hug your wife though. Good night.
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Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 4:17 AM UTC
Divorce Thy Wife Not
I am speaking to my future me. You love your wife, Adyson. I know when the demons come back with more force than the last time, this thought enters your mind: "Divorce your wife, this is unhealthy." The truth is, you're unhealthy. I know it's raw, but it's the truth. You are too consumed with yourself to even know the difference. You see, at this close of 2017 you looked to your right and told her: "I am happy." See, you're happy because she's the only one you have that truly understands you. How do I know? Take a good guess, I know you can do it. I'm guessing there's a good chance that she's feeling exactly the same way, or worse. You're taking a trip right now. You're stable tonight. Addy is stable tonight. You're driving to Keith's (or writing here on these pages mucking up your handwriting...) to be with your family and friends. Good friends. Going to get ********* and hoping to black out. And you're blessed to have your soulmatage right next to you, smoking chillum **** and "Natural" American Spirit cigarettes, and sipping on Mtn Dew. It's 2:17am, and you're about to ride the Music Express because it is picking up speed. No sleep for you tonight. Your mind is not clear. Next time you think to divorce your wife, hold onto that thought, because by doing so, you're giving yourself time. Time is key. If you feel that you should divorce your wife when you're well enough to have a clear perspective, then maybe you should consider it. Depression and mixed states will lie to you, insidiously, and without mercy. No mercy. I'm willing to bet at this point, however, that when your demon is back to sleep, if only for a minute, you'll only have to  look to your left while in bed in order to cultivate your prior burning love for her. For she loves you and you love her ... to death, even beyond your current living death. Rest assured, my good man, that it will end. Just give it time. Take a break. Go to sleep. Turn off your life for a moment, it'll help. The decision to take your pills is up to you, but consider taking them, too. They will probably help. Don't forget to hug your wife though. Good night.
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