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Marla Jan 15
When I retire,
You haunt me,
Like a nightmare
That chases people through
Their dreams,
Depriving them of rest.
Foul demon,
Be gone from this earth.
Leave us alone to wallow
In the ashes of our youth.
elaine Aug 2018
fearing the dark abyss, i go to discover. i jump into the deep unknown, knowing very well i cannot swim.
i look around only to find myself drowning  in disappointment and failure. darkness clouds over my mind as i lose grip on my sanity.
drifting. far, far away.
Philipa James Nov 2018
Would you pay to come inside
Come and see the secrets I hide
Would you want to take a look
Inside this tightly padlocked book
Come and see what you could find
In the depravaties of my mind

Stuff hidden away
Forever ever and a day
Unpleasant sadistic thoughts
That really shouldn't be bought
Come and see what you could find
In the depravaties of my mind

Things stored away for years and years
Things that would bring the sane to tears
See a twisted world of sin
Where there is no choice but to give in
Come and see what you could find
In the depravaties of my mind

Don't stand there at the rim
Delve deep into the grim
Things will never be the same
Once you have witnessed the insane
Come and see what you could find
In the depravaties of my mind
Yaser May 2018
It was brought to our world from a primordial ether
that bore no resemblance to anything the human mind could ever know,
let alone comprehend.
And all those that looked upon,
stood before it, uncertain,
not of the creature,
but of the sanctity of what they once held above all as their truest sanctuary: the mind.

To feel it slip away
into an abyss not much unlike
the birthplace of the blasphemy with which they were assailed,
was a welcome turn.
A new escape.
An impenetrable sanctum
Insanity…
thesa Aug 5
i'm paralyzed
my eyes hurt and i can't stop
the voices inside my head

tell me
which sense does the cure have
when i was comfortable
in my insanity
SC Kelley Oct 2018
My eyes bleed with exhaustion.

My thoughts are fuzzy like my brain is stuffed with styrofoam.

My body sinks into the **** carpet floor of my basement.

My mouth tastes sour with the flavor of an unslept soul.

I lie here writing instead of sleeping because it feels like the only thing I can do well, consciously.

My back aches with an elders pain at late seventeen.

I crave the warm embrace of my bed but am too stuck like sap to move.

I'm rambling here in my brain instead of resting my frigid existence.

My thoughts are slow and choppy now with the hesitation of drifty words.

My rusted, chipping ears hear nothing but silence and a distant coo-coo clock.

The chirps of a bird only found in my dark, dusty insanity.

The world weighs upon children such as these in a universe such as this.

I'm just, tired. Tired...

~S.C. Kelley
Take it as you will. This **** is crazy.
Hanna C S Jul 13
The first time was in the bathroom
Of a club I was four years too young for;
Lessons will be learnt;
Bent over a broken sink;
With my face pressed against the mirror;
My mascara ran rivers down the glass
Carving lines that looked like prison bars.
With rough hands;
He reached inside me;
And broke instruments I hadn’t yet touched;
No wonder I can’t play love songs,
I am still learning how to make love to people I actually love;
But my 14 years were too few to be angry
Didn’t quite know how
Didn’t know quite what he’d done;
And what that might do.
So I hid my thighs and ribs for three weeks ashamed;
My fake ID collected dust
Buried beneath my bed and self-blame.

That first encounter,
Left me frozen in an un-safe
space I couldn’t name
So I wanted time to stop its ticking,
Hold its breath and bite it’s tongue with me
An indefinite moment of silence to commemorate the crime committed,
But lessons would be learnt
As to my horror the cogs in the clocks kept rolling,
Every day since has stacked upon the last,
Racking up years
15: it took more than 365 days to dare to share the guilt,
16:  over 730 to absolve myself,
17: 1095 to say what had happened out loud.

The second time was in my kitchen,
He was a friend between blurred lines;
And ten drinks too many;
Lessons will be learnt.
I don't remember leaving with him
Or getting home.
But I’ve never known how to have *** sober so I guess it’s my fault too.
I woke up with an ache and my shoes still on.
There were no bruises; we are still friends; and I still don’t know who to blame.

The third time,
I was walking home, the air was fresh,
I had my headphones on;
Lessons will be learnt.
His fingers were dry and nails sharp as I froze;
It felt familiar;
His breath was hot;
Soaked wet with alcohol.
The bricks hit my back hard
But I like to think my knuckles hit harder.
I saw my mother the week after
I did not cry as I explained a  purple hand.
At least I had known where to aim it.

The fourth time,
I knew he was dangerous and I liked it,
Lessons will be learnt
With my hands bound above my head
He took control and mine with it;
He savoured every scream I spat;
So I, silently simmering, left my body there sickly still.
I am not a believer
but I told him he’d rot in a hotter part of hell
As he unbuckled me with a malboro red and a laugh that I choked on
So I took the cigarette and gave him a dose of what the devil will do for me,
A small vengeance that burnt like the venom in my veins

I have felt like flames so many times now
Been consumed by violent flickers,
That set this bloodied body ablaze,
But even the biggest bonfires burn out,
And I am no different
My bones are black with char like wearied wood
So when I take the train home I count my bruises;
I'm unsure which ones were left without consent.
there is no such thing as non-consensual ***. There is only *** and assault.
That being said, when it happens so many times, you start to wonder who is really to blame. I don't like this poem, and I'm sure I will rewrite it many times - But certain things must be said.
elaine Mar 18
What is it like to be insane? To hold a knife and know where it slits.

To take away your own soul? To take away a soul. A soul is what you are, right? I am me, but this isn’t me. This isn’t me! I am not me. Take away my soul, I don’t want it anymore. I’m already gone. I’m far, far away now.

What would it be like to be around people who don’t make you think? Once you start to think, you suffer the thought of death. Death, a thing sinners can only dream about. A wish that shall be awarded. Do you want me to give me your final wish? I can give it to you like a prize.

Do you want to win now? Would you like to win this game? In the end, no one wins.

What is it like to be insane? Oh, to know where the knife goes! To know where it kills! To know how to destroy!

Where is it? Where do I slice?

The knife will slide down. I know where to slice. I’ve known all along.
Very far from being sane.
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