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PK Wakefield Sep 2011
injust(ladies

,so wet ladies,

summer you are almost naked

and dance beneath feat

the cherry knives o’ you

cut sweetly in me

and every hot root

is such deeply splayed

thighs i marvel into

them and s

                 i

              g

                    h
LJ Eaddy Feb 2014
I live in the land
Of the inbetweeners.
We are what
The French would call,
Bourgeoisie.
What the ghetto calls,
Bougie.
What the successful calls,
Day dreamers,
And what we call,
The future leaders.
I live in
The land of rebels.
The people who fought against their oppressors
Because they know the truth behind
Social Darwinism;
And the fact of the matter is
That no race
Is a superior race
Because "race"
Is a manmade idea
To justify the injust
Ideas of slavery.
The rebels who ran out of chains
Because they weren't
Supposed to be chained down.
The rebels who walked midnight railroads
To escape the clutches
Of the white man's burden.
The rebels who refused to stand
In one spot
When there were plenty of seats available.
The rebels who refused
to bite their tongues and
The rebels who refused to be spoken over
Because they had
A lot of important stuff to say.
The rebels who dreamt outrageous dreams,
So that the complexion
Of your pigment
Was never a deciding factor
In your life.
The rebels who refused
to follow unlawful laws
Because they were
Law abiding citizens
Only when laws were just.
The rebels who challenged what was superiority,
The rebels who changed the course of history forever.
I live in
The land of the outsiders
Who conform the
Preconceived ideas
To fit them
We roll small blunts
of white paper
Filled with the words
of novels and poetry
And blow through those books
Inhaling every letter
And letting it cling to our lungs
Flowing the grammar
Throughout our bodies.
We stand spittin
Absolute value bars
Rapping elongated equations
Of X equals
Y +/- root Z
Divided by root A
Times the quantity of
B - C.
We stick up
Banks filled with
Material and instruction.
Stealing all the information we can take
And try peicing it together
So that more than words
We have knowledge.
We *******
Our brains,
Pleasing its sapiosexual
******* with
Grammar and arithmetic.
I live in the land
Of the inbetweeners.
The people making history
In their everyday lives.
The revolutionaries
Who fight for even
The smallest of issues.
The individuals who stand out
Amongst a crowd of people
That look just like them.
The inbetweeners,
They who refuse
To subjugate themselves
To society,
But will subjugate society
To themselves.
El Bastardo Mar 2013
Long after my injust exhile from  this  site I began a time of deep thinking.
And after many cervasas and long nights with ***** women I thought.
Where is my life going besides to the free clinic every other day to cure
the ******* of fire.

It was then I remembred a wise amigo a man amoungst many men
not because he was strange they just happend to all gather togather in that spot.
Unlike a bathhouse once I only went to a few times to have some male bonding
time and to enjoy a nice backrub.

But enough with my college years.
My once mighty amigo told me.
******* dont ever let them hold you back for the evil forces are many
yet you cant **** crazy  well maybe with a gun but that would take many bullets amigo.

It was then i knew I must return to the land of Hello.
To bring joy to many and annoy young teenage  writers who think vampires can walk around in daylight and werewolves run in large packs with other amigos in Alaska.
How I wish i lived there as well.

It had been far to long since this gravyard of like button zombies  had taken off
there pants turned off the lights  and  had a hot oil ****.
At least I hope that was oil.

It had been  a cold summer south of the boarder but that doesnt mean there wasnt fire down below.
Much like with older women.

So I packed the pinto and like a really fast minded person moving at a well
much slower gear I was off.
For where there is a need there is well a place people
probaly want something to suit that need.

So spank my spandex wearing *** and call me MR Pickles.
Cause The ******* has returned amigos.

Ole!!!
Siren Dec 2019
They crave more
        demand
constantly unfulfilled
never enough

And so I cave

restless
disconnected
unstable

A never ending cycle
of reoccurring quests

stripped
left lifeless

plundered
robbed

                                                  slanted
Christian Danner Nov 2013
It's sunny when my eyes are open
Yet it storms while I'm sleeping
Their smoke blends into the air daily
It puts me in a haze and dazes me for days on end
This hazed daze must effect them, sadly, maybe that's their intent
But don't subject me to this evil world you've created
Though these nightmares may have, manipulated your every dream
Inception can be dangerous so don't plaster me the creature you hate
Rather realize I'm sacrificing life
For these images you paint
Yes I'm the wind
I keep the breeze going when things
get too hot
These man made substitutes will break
And be discarded like sheet rock
So dont close your windows and hide yourself from your own fog
if you move on, you move on.
NO MATTER HOW HARD

No matter how hard.

And that's life
And you keep fighting
I'll fight for my dreams and my visions
For a world with out your smog and misconception
Where these wrong words thought of rightly
And injust actions performed justly
Are no more
Where my solidarity is only recognized  through my laughter
And my pain is only recognized by my flesh
Where I can hold hands with my sons and daughters
And I can look my father in the eyes,
And he'll knows I past his tests
TW Apr 2016
If dust, it's just industrialisation,
In dust, it's injust making real eyes ache and,
Only those real eyes have the power to realise,
The truths that we all know are subjective, and real lies.
PK Wakefield Jun 2011
I                           ,        
                                
                                '
                                       ,
                                             .                                                                                       U
                                            ;
                                          ,           iN
                                           .
               who                      '
                      a                         ,
                      r                             '
                      e                        I           ,
                                                              ' .
                                                     ,leaves'
                                                 , '
                                                  ;
                                                   ' ,
                                               .
                                                    ,
    softly
                     and
                                suddenly
                                                    A
                                   complete smell of
                                  the ocean. salty next
                                  to a sighing forest
                                  tremendously twigs
                                  enormous. they are
                                   whispers, green
                                   and cold linoleum
                                   under my feet
                                   in the kitchen
                                   a pitcher of
                                   tea is beaded
                                   with sudor
                                   (soaked skin
                                    Spring answers
                                    outside) it's
                                    my hand, in
                                    freezing gently
                                    dribbling over
                                    my knuckles
                                    the half lit kitchen
                                    skinny hips
                                    of roses
                                    mingle with laughing
                                    breezes quickly
                                    glistening cherry
                                    flavored lips
                                    ,right athe
                                     edge of my glass
                                    outside(right against the window)
                                    pressed together
                                    (the counter and your thighs
                                     because sweat
                                      they slip around
                                      each, throb
                                       pumping, other
                                       your hair is stuck to
                                       sticking to your
                                       *******) the trees
                                       sway injust temporary
                                       daylight, behind
                                        the swelling,
                                        swollen draught
                        &
Rebecca Flores Dec 2016
THE PAIN THAT IS HEAVY ON MY HEART IS THE PAIN OF A LOST SOUL WITH EVERY INCH RIP FROM ONE END TO ANTHER.
THE FEELING OF THIS PAIN WITH TEARS OF SADNESS THAT NO WORDS COULD EVEN WXPAINED.
MY WORRIES AND MY GIVING OF LOVE THAT I HAD AND STILL HAVE FOR YO IS BROKEN TO PEACES THAT IS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TRY TO PUT BACK HLE AGAIN. THEREE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT WAS TO STILL BE DONE MANY HOURS OFB TIMES THAT WE SHOULD BE RUNNING. THE WHEELS OFF THIS ROAD THAT U NOW HAAVE PASSED WITH OUT ME ARE BLOCKED BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME TO FAST AND TO SOON. THERE I FIND MY SELF FRONT OF THE WINDOW WITH RAIN DROPS OF SADNESS AND PAIN ASKING WHY? MY GOD WHY? NOT  KNOWING WHAT TO DO NOW THAT YOUR ARE NO LONGER HEAR MY FRIEND. NOT ABLE TO BREATH BECAUSE YOU STOP BREATHING ON ME. HOLDING IT ALL IN WHERE INJUST WANT TO LET IT ALL OUT AND WAKE UPO FROM THIS NIGHT MARE OF MINE.FOR ME MY FRIEND YOU WHERE THE BEST FRIEND ANY ONE COULD HAVE. YOUR HEART WAS FULL WITH SO MUCH LOVE THAT YOU COULD ALWAYS BSEE THE LOVE THAT YOU GAVE TO THOSE THAT JUST NEEDED A HELPING HAND YOU NEVER SAID NO. THE MADNESS THAT ONCE WAS WITH IN YOU GOT NOVER COME BY BEING MY FRIEND AND LETTING ME IN YOUR LIFE. NOT ONLY YOU SHOWED ME AND HELP ME YOU LET ME HELP YOU AS WLL. I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT ALL THE TIMES WE HAD FROM DAY ONE WHERE THE BEST TIMES OF MY LIFE THAT I WISH YOU WHERE HEAR FOR MANY MORE... I FIND IT SO HAED TO LET GO OF SOME ONE SO SWEET AND LOVING AND CARING AS YO FOREVERB AND EVER YOU WILL HAVE A BIG PART OF MY HEART I WILL NEVER LET ANY ONE TAKE THAT FROM  ME. I FIND IT SO HARD TO BREATH ANY MORE AND NEVER WANTING TO LET U GO. I LOVE U ALWAYS AND FOREVER YOU MY BESTFRIEND BOSS AND SO MUCH MORE MY DEAR LOVE  ABEL TOVAR REST WITH ME IN PEACE IN HEAVEN WE SOME DAY SOON WILL MEET.
Alice Burns May 2014
I sit here, exhausted from a night of doing nothing
But for me, stillness is the hardest endeavor
The exertion of mental strength so uncontrollable
The tire overflows mind and is expelled through body
My body is weary from thought

I distract myself with mediocre activities
In hopes of dulling down my thought process
Which is more a rebellion in fact
As the thoughts rebel chaotically
With no apparent process to their stream

As I try to tell myself to focus
The commands mix into the storm already there
A whirl of letters pass my eyes in a haze
As if a speed game of scrabble completely injust
I attempt to forfeit but in vain

So stupidity comes to my rescue
With idle games and ample liquor
To lull mind into a dazed state
Vocabulary escapes and knowledge takes rest
Tonight I am a desperate fool
Tom Shields Aug 2022
Uvalde
A town you never heard of, you’ll never hear the end of
You’ve heard the end of
Guns in America, a story you’ll never hear the end of
The insecure White Man’s struggle ends with a massacre
A story that never begins in history, you never hear the end of
It’s always been going on, Elijah McClain, I hear him screaming in my brain
The pain is ongoing and I see this veteran policewoman walking towards a car
She’s got a gun in her hand and can’t tell the difference between a taser
Like the weight is the same as her heart and a feather, but it’s ******
White Supremacy, suddenly everybody is Kyle Rittenhouse’s defense attorney
Editing bodycam footage, standing around for 77 minutes and detaining
Your fellow officer whose wife is a teacher in the classroom, taking his weapon
And letting the school shooter reign free, rain bullets down on the
Nation you claim to love, so much ******* bravery, contaminated with agenda
Politics, frothing blood on the shores from sea to shining sea, ducking in the suburbs
From scopes that’s car windows reflecting the sun in the fifth day out the week of plus 110 degrees heat
It’s upscale for us, hell, close as bougie as you ever get when you can cook eggs on the street
The air is so thick with well-informed opinions that keep up with the world
Everyone knows everything, everywhere all the time anymore, and I try to avoid it
Hide from the anxiety, stay inside, idealistically cling to a shred of pride, the insanity I desire is structural anarchy
Challenge the integrity of a system that’s starving people, by flipping the tables and making the power-hungry just hungry
I’m just angry, you go into any atmosphere and it’s pretty clear conversations of social conscience run deep into consideration
Failure, on a historical, national, centuries-long, cultural level, not just any one people can be held accountable or responsible
Nothing can be solved with one tongue-lashing in one sitting, but nobody wants to hear that no satisfaction
Will come from the instant gratification of getting one over on the opposition
Who sit smug in defiance of each other, calm heads prevail even when they’re objectively incorrect
Because it’s not about logic, facts, truth or morality
It’s about appearing better than, media and perception
Appealing to the ego and id, ebb and flow of how to till an audience
Field them out, groom the youth and watch them grow
But truth is, the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do
That cop kneeling on George Floyd choked everybody who could see it was wrong
And he only killed one man with his actions, but caused all hell to break loose
If the world were a smarter place, they’d have tackled him off, detained him
Let the man in the hallway go, backed him up and taken action, but
Going online to defend White Supremacy, they used to go out into the world and put on hoods to do that
Kyle Rittenhouse took on the police department’s responsibility, he was 16
**** all the legalities, I hate lawyers and I refuse to speak with you on terms of legalese
This kid lived in a world where he couldn’t just be concerned about going to school the next day
Or playing video games, doing some teenager ****, no
He had to get an assault rifle, go out of his way to commit a double homicide, and people flock to his side to call it justified
What do you same people think about the yielding of Uvalde PD to a school shooter, active, in progress, who likely only wanted them to storm in on the rampage so they could commit suicide
Ignorance
The last chapter in American history because it will be the death of all of us
No arguments will endure one side not listening to another side not listening
When no one can make headway with a fair point, when you strip the right to choose based on autonomy
When you come after people for their differences, marginalize entire communities
Feeling so threatened you cry Marxism and quiver behind your idols, that you never noticed, sacred now institutions, installations of
Your unknown ancestry, history, let’s be honest, it’s not destruction to evolve the status quo in a positive direction for this hopeless society
Killing people out of reactionary fear, before they even do anything
Then rioting, splintering, there is no unity
There is no sanctuary, there is no safety
Peace is apolitical in nature, it just has to be, in that it is also injust
And politics are injust without being peaceful, but inspiring people to be hateful
Darker and more hateful than anything the eyes might ever see, they awaken evil in the cesspool, the spirit
Bubbling out of the mouth and over the teeth, fits of rage overtake the world stage
Like January 6th
You don’t get to compare your riot to other riots and say you did it more well-behaved
When you riot on the nation’s capital that’s like punching America, Uncle Sam, Lady Liberty, the constitution you preach like the bible and all the founding fathers in the face
My mind’s eye is swollen from the insight that plays on the news with the slaughter of these children, comparisons to the attitude surrounding incidents of gun violence and what it’s actually like to have mental illness
The Governor of Texas, mouth-breathing Abbott says, anyone who shoots someone else is not mentally stable, so police then
Murdering police who **** people all the time, and don’t even always use guns
A whole police department just stood by and let someone else **** children; I saw teachers trying to buy bulletproof vests online for their first graders
Kyle Rittenhouse is a symptom of a diseased mindset in America, if they won’t, he will then, and we don’t treat him
Like we would, we could, we should, I saw a light show celebrating his actions
**** the criminal history of the people he killed, judge, jury, nor executioner is on the head of the children
But, going to church, the grocery store, school, someone could just show up with two ArmaLite M15s and **** them
A Mossberg, Glock, Colt, Smith&Wesson and ammunition to fulfill the mission
Of raising stock in these gun manufacturing corporations, in the end
Because we set precedents with old money presidents, Donald Trump and the Bush Dynasty, Clintons and self-fulfill them
That we inherit sleepwalking promises of change, half-deranged, fall-guys for the previous administrations like Biden
And view one different face in this indistinguishable, old, white, grey spoiled milk on the fridge shelf of presidents as a beacon
There’s a systematic breakdown at the molecular level by legal minds far more educated and dedicated than mine
That are far more passionate, with more time, I’m just
Tired, God
I’m so tired of going outside and not knowing if there’s gonna be a Howard Unruh situation
Or that this America my nephew grows up in, will be so ****** up and, he’ll have teachers put bulletproof vest on his kindergarten supplies list
And I want to appeal against my better instinct to shooters to attack those whose job it is to protect and serve and fight back, to give a chance to the unarmed and innocent civilians
Go for your local police department if you need to pick a target, I implore you, if not for the impact, then think of it as a merciful act
They are carriers of the symptomatic disease infecting communities, leave unequipped people to live their lives, if you can’t be reeled back from your planned attack
I am so tired
It’s so hot it feels like the whole country is on fire and not from the sun
I could never be who I am anywhere else in the world, I want to love it here for that
But I don’t want to die here for anyone.
write
please read and enjoy
Tom Shields Jul 2022
Love, the quietest volume tome in this apocrypha

dysphagia, a fantasy of crossing seas to see

a phantasm in fantasia, met with aphantasia

stolen from the mouths of babes, dysphasia

on deaf ears, aphasia, blind eyes, dysphoria, America

distribute misplaced distrust, fairness it's just injust

inform the infirm of interim canned worms within

the mind's eye, boring huh?

Lustful fire, borne into the, **** of discontent

this continent of opinionated, belated, celebrated

hated, content, resentment, revolution, civil discussion

and civil war, fare is fair if justice is injust just rain flaming corpses from your blimp *****

deflate your egos, throw out the discus, go and fetch the dogs some biscuits

**** everything, reclaim nativity for the crackers, ingenuity, ennui in ***** revenue reviews, incoming claims of independency

choke on your proclaimed declarations, a serpent's scale tipping your throat closed in silence in privacy

in support of engineering a wedge split Twain the ***** Joe-ked about between history and heresy

them old cats crow the same song Jim heard crow, a length of rope to hang yourself and go free

die you Tyrannical Oedipus Rex, die *******, die

long reign supreme anarchy

long reign supreme equality

the only true moral equation to solve human error will always be open-air savagery

that's just the show the stage is set for the world to see.
write
please read and enjoy
Tom Shields Aug 2020
Striped to the nines
these cats carry pig stickers
animal kingdom death comes quicker
shoeshine, no sunshine, grease ain’t slicker
chalked out in lines
lead bellies line mines
outlaws make laws, break jaws
drop jaws, buy cars, bank rob
live like all-stars, a full-time job
all-grime, an all-crime job
a romantic era of terror
splashy ink does injustice
while they sidle Fords with Thompsons
every John a Dillinger, every Romeo a Clyde
everybody comes to terms with hunger and iron
everybody comes to town either starry or steely eyed
they leave or stay forever, never rich enough to justify why these are the streets they had to die on
it ain’t pretty
black eyed beauties and black tied beaus
lies as easy as blood when the liquor flows
guns and love and money, everybody knows
it’s all business, question contracts and the details get gritty
you can get in clean
but you have to get your hands ***** in this city.


A blues musician blew through the nightclubs with his sound
the rhythm of struggle, poetry and soul come alive
one with his voice, his guitar, singing of how he strived
to make it to the bright lights, he thought it was a miracle he survived
songs of Southland and heartache, the sounds of a segregated culture thriving above ground
what scratch he could collect
he would make if he had to play until he broke his guitar’s neck
wise enough to only accept cash up front, no checks
he was not ashamed of a spotlight
a bluesman can’t be afraid
he tore down the house six nights
and on Sunday he prayed
when he heard his music on the radio, riffs and lyrics ripped and splayed
the mournful soul, howling moon, woeful pontifications and rhythms all butchered onto a premier
a darker, sadder set of eyes than he had ever seen fell back on him from his own rearview mirror
outside of a studio, champagne bottles broken on his back for white rock and roll
at some hour when the sun was too far to imagine rising
he found himself peering over the edge of a darkness in his soul
and the liberating relief was frightening, he wanted to force it to feel surprising
a brown neck and a half ago he traded his first guitar, offered to sign it, too
pawnbroker bought it off him for a bill or two, said “Why, who are you?”
He swapped for a pistol under-the-counter and the bullets
bought a couple bottles of liquid encouragement to help him think it through
he drove out to the record label where the thief was lauded on the air
sitting is his car with his last guitar, barrel scratching his head, parting his hair
he was half-awake, about to leave when he saw four people walking out of there
a quick release, trigger, clutch and gas, the conspirators who stole his soul collapsed,
he drove into town to sell it back one piece at a time just as fast.


Putty in palms
men melt in her gaze
Medusa couldn’t ****** a man as easily
Penny flies with fancy and never stays
she was the high school sweetheart, girl next door,
to the star quarterback, to the class president, who fought viciously over her
who were sidetracked brawling while she was romanced by promises of city life
which swept her off the suburban sidewalk, and deposited her in a diner
where a man would come to blows over her, promising to make her his wife
she led men to collide with one another, they called her the Lucky Penny
she loved the attention, flirtatious eye-batting and men being reduced to fools
it was nothing shy of flattery, her chest felt empty without superficial value
and what is a better showing of what you’re worth than what someone else is willing to do to someone else to keep you?
She never really cared beyond the surface for any of them at all,
until, of course, she was ensnared herself by becoming a moll
Penny would only go steady with someone as beautiful as she was,
this invited trouble to her diner, because
a pretty-boy gangster oversaw collections in the area, just as handsome, just as clean
every bit as petty as Penny, twice as angry, twice as spiteful, and twice as mean
he carried a switchblade knife, a jackboot blade, he would love an excuse to cut ribbons out of skin
he had the sharps in spades, sharp wits, looks, angles, and cuts, when they met Penny was already done in
pretty boy promised her the moon, gave her a pad, he made sure she stayed living in the lap of luxury as long as it was his lap, and she’d never step out of line after the first time he got mad
she was number three in a marriage, in over her head and scared for her life
Penny, the apple of every man’s eye, a prisoner, mistress, and second to a mafia wife.

Ruthless killers aren’t these snarling giants
they’re scrawny, little, barbed wire, white men
capable of extreme and unconscionable acts of violence
you never see them until it’s too late for status quo, still water silence
deeper though, you never know, a gun is just bamboo, a ball and black powder, light it
your next-door neighbor could be the next news-maker, a headline teenager
used to be you’d never know somebody got shot if they popped 911 on your personal pager
the world isn’t spinning any faster, but these gray matters will age ya,
I say, going postal isn’t even a clever turn of phrase yeah?

Sunup in the city, Chicago typewriters were dogearing a page in history
like firecrackers going off just before dawn, you could see them from a sky penthouse
the locations of every execution, it wasn’t a mystery
a plan went off without a hitch, an overtaking in the criminal industry
you can say it, business is booming
body-bags went out by the half dozen to a dozen spots, by noon sirens were still zooming
out of precincts, hearses and coroners, ambulances and firetrucks, police too
it wasn’t a warzone, it was a crime scene, every block everywhere, put tape around the whole county
you could bring every citizen in as a witness, they’d probably all have a statement, it was anarchy,
an entire organization was weeded out and killed, with efficient brutality, and get this, no payment offered up for a revenge bounty
nobody retaliated, they were emasculated, eviscerated, devastated and decapitated, nobody knew who held the keys to the city, but we knew to revere the new monarchy
and for months there was humidity so thick it made me sweat through my collar, an air of anxiety
terror is what you don’t know, can’t understand, aren’t able to feel, hear, or even see…


So, I’ll put a bomb in the mail, watch his face turn pale, stand outside the window
make his wife a widow, I’m not settling for the ironic justice he doled out
my life wasn’t nothing, but now it’s always something, ever since I sold my route
a job in this town is a weapon in the wrong hands, if you work for good folks, you’ll be met with injust demands
I delivered payroll for a law firm, took an armored van and stuck to plans
making sure paralegals and secretaries and partners see their paychecks, private sector, shotgun overhead on the rack, nine-millimeter on my side, and rifle in the back
same three to a car, I always drive, if you’re gonna hit us in broad daylight, it’s gotta be on Monday when we’re fully loaded, as we cross this bridge and you better promise we all stay alive
I get my cut, a quarter million, a Judas’ fee to guarantee the financial security of my family and we’ll be packing live rounds if you think of double crossing me, for our own safety
that day hits, we come across the bridge to a traffic stop
I was sweating bullets, my partner rolled down the window to talk to the cop
an accident ahead, then a sudden, deafening pop
now I feel the adrenaline flood, my face is covered with my friend’s blood
I’m kicking at the door, a ricochet bites my ear, I think my head is gone
but even if I’m dead I’m still running for dear life, I’m going on
I hear screaming, automatic gunfire, he’s shooting, taking them out with him,
he’s dying, I’m ripping my uniform off and ducking out, half-blind, the lights get dim
it’s days later, I’m contemplating the darkest things I’ve ever thought, outside a ***** cop’s residence
I’ve barely eaten, I’ve barely thought of anything except tracking this heist crew down, and now I’m showing hesitance
I’ve followed them since that day, I know this is it, they’re all inside, four bad men got rich and two good men died
one coward allowed it to happen, I’m gripping my sidearm, they won’t strip me of my pride, I don’t need any evidence
He kicks the door in, gun drawn on four men, their families just outside, seconds tick away, sweat drips, feet sway, chairs slide and casings clatter, he serves up an equalizer on a platter, that day it’s not a blue matter, it’s a blood splatter, eight dead, four thieves and three collateral, with a lone gunman at the heart of it all.

Fisticuffs always calls up a type of fighter, former priors
agents looking at delinquency like juvenile homes are boxing regency
adopt a son, own a slave, train him to fight for his home and do it all legally
coattail riding, meal ticket punching, a prizefighter raised from adolescence
to do one thing as soon as he enters a ring, turn lights out, win a money bout, leave opponent with no recollections
a colored boxer, killing competition in a record winning Olympic position
never shies away from trouble he tucks his chin and takes it double
always looking on the uppercuts, combinations break safes, open faces and break up guts
a contender for a spot, he’s dreamt of this, he’d give everything he has now away for this shot
it’s a chance at a chance, the only one he’s got
he loves his foster father and his foster mother and it feels like they’ve worked to give him a lot
sitting front row in reserved seats, while ten rounds pass,
his brain rattles in his skull, while they eat popcorn and sit on their ***
hands trembling in his gloves, slumped in the corner, cut the swelling eyes to let him see
he is dying ninety seconds at a time, how long can he last?
His masters don’t stand unless he falls, their love is slavery
these gloves that keep his hands in fists are new cuffs, they contain him, set him free!
He spits blood on the mouthguard, leaves his teeth on the mat, presses off on his knuckles and clears the ten count with the referee
eyes like a monster, he finally snapped, and wore the leather out
he proved his love was stronger than anyone and anything,
by beating his opponent into a fatal coma, in twelve rounds, blood pooled at silent spectator’s feet, as he continued to swing
it was an undercard they never forgot when he went back to prison and left it all in the ring.

Terror is what you don’t know, can’t understand, aren’t able to feel, hear, or even see
and for months I dreamt of what I saw that day with no lucidity
I was locked down in the tragic relivings of a marred, scarred up, firebomb charred memory
they look for the truth in their ink, why does that burden fall on me?
All I am is all I could ever be!
Dogged, **** tired, I put a cigarette out on my arm to see if I’m awake sometimes
sometimes I do it to see if I’m alive, after bearing witness to fresh hell, in some crimes
investigative journalism, my life’s work, it’s all dirt
digging for one breathtaking coffin, until my lungs hurt
it’s misery in a city of misgivings on loop for eternity
they know no one can stomach the bottom; even the bottom falls out
and the bowels and the guts spit up their disgust, the bile discussed their vile supremacy in doubt
but the duty still lands in my lap and I carry it readily if wearily
a good deed is unheard of, which is why the death of all factions
all fractions of crime, all at one time, all one action done on a dime, is killing me
I know there’s something more behind it all, that kind of slaughter would take an army
where does it begin, who’s covering up, lying and playing pretend, where does one thread stop when another one ends?
Am I standing in a web or a noose?
Am I cutting through a conspiracy or am I cutting myself loose?
I feel as if I’m suspended by my own suspicion!
I am lost and I’ve been more directly involved, more focused on a mission!
There are laughs in the walls of motels where I stay,
when I take my pills and check out for the night they giggle “Have a nice day!”
I’m sure of nothing, why do I know there must be foul play!
The streetsweepers must have an agenda, they must profit in some way
but they don’t come out of the woodwork to claim any coercion or pay
any heroics or fame, if any figurehead stood behind them, that person stands at bay
while I wait with bated breath, knowing one thing of murderers who achieve a getaway
that they either are assured of success enough to retire, or to attempt a grander feat of death…

Once an aging prima donna fell upon a spotlight
with all the natural talent of the charismatic, valorous and gallant, a comet in the starlight
she could sing and act and dance and grant wishes with magic if directed so
so, she was a child when she graced stages with her presence every night
crushing the pressure of performances that sink politicians by the sheer size
she could captivate and entertain, dazzle, razzle, sizzle, and shock a crowd
ahead of her time and curb and curtain, her cast and calling, producers she seemed to hypnotize
evoking the ire of every other actress, singer, dancer and magic woman living loud
she burst with color onto silver screens and took the world that was hers by any means, the masses she could mesmerize
even in black in white they fell in love with the gaze of her baby blue eyes
and the only thing to slow or stop this comet’s meteoric rise
was time, she was too old for the parts they wanted every woman for,
tapdancing and vaudeville, lounge singing and musicals, from the ivory tower to the first floor,
an aging prima donna, who would never want to play a bit role or a fill a hole well, she was a goner
she wanted to trailblaze, turn these old ways into new days
and she only needed new opportunities, a chance to shine in her advanced age
for the elderly actress desired to perfect an archetype in drama, beginning with one screenplay page
she wrote herself a major part, around the central cast, so the young talent could shine in the brighter lights, while she would create a legacy to outlast
and they look for her today in her films and wonder what changed to make it so,
that the energetic and happy woman lost all her glow, to go and wither into shadows where she would play the crone and cantankerous, conniving, lonely gypsy or old widow.

In a new era, a new form, the prizefighter came back, weathered the case
five to ten
years off the prime of his career
militant Islamic conversion in the joint, scowl permanently on his face
disowned his adopted home, disemboweled his circle to scorch earth for some personal space
and worked harder to prove he deserved to earn the boxing commission’s good grace
got his boots back on, never out of shape, kept them laced
older and slower, but stronger than ever, a lifestyle change is a new pace
he met a new agent, a man with his true interests at heart, cross it and hope
he’s representing the same faith, referral by a cellmate, representing the same race
he’s educated and well-dressed, his lawyers got lawyers who all send money upriver
so why would he ever sell a fighter downstream? He’s all about one color, one power
the power is cash and the color is green! He’s selling prizefighting like a butcher sells liver
looking at his prime killer like he’s working by the hour, like the man has never been here
he’s lost speed, gained mass, sore in the bones from time’s past and passed in the joint, he’s one night away from an official anoint-
meant, appointment with the king, a racial salesman who takes advantage of the divide to provide a talking point with his melanin
when he doesn’t care, he doesn’t even see people before him as more than cattle or less than human
and with every victory he’s seeing clear, the field he’s standing in is tall grass
he’s struggling to see the path he walked in on, but he’s got to keep burning through the gas
promotion, fight, rounds of blood and sweat, hand held high, interview gab, it’s not over yet
locker room politics, agents and deals, brands and lawyers and contracts, contacts, pagers and producers, politicians and televisions and business meals
he’s got a clear role on only one side of things, that’s why he lets the bird out of the cage because money talks and sometimes ******* sings
but when it comes down to trimming the fat, he earns his living in training and between the ropes in how he lives and how he wins when he swings
and he goes out with a record of sixty fights with eight losses and no contest, one of the most controversial champs to duke it out in those rings.

That they either are assured of success enough to retire, or to attempt a grander feat of death
I swear to ******* God I’m being followed ever since I left the last spot, it’s like the city knows I’ve been holding my breath
it started choking me, hands wrapped around my neck, I’m cut off from my office I can’t even cash a field check, I left my kids in the separation, this story is it, I don’t have nothing left
I’m chasing lights where there’s only flickering projectors, looking for the big picture at the point of origin
it’s never going to reveal itself to me, I hear the voices of professors trampling my voice again
the streets don’t just open up and take every killer, thief and ****** back, every assault charge and corrupt landlord, cop, lawyer and councilman
all the big fish swam away after the attack, like rats on a sinking barge, it’s their word full stop, against the everyman
but if the system breaks down at the point of their cogs, the people who do their ***** work, and witnesses all suddenly outnumber them with righteous indignation, armed and willing to catch a case then…
Who’s going to be left to clean up after that?
Three days, five days, eight, fully awake with the full realization, a health hazard with walls where I sat
the story of the century in my lap, I looked like warm crap, like something the buildings and streets formed teeth to chew up in their maw and back out they spat
figures not even the bones of this old gal would like the flavor of an emissary to the truth
I rattled my fist to the ceiling on the ninth day, kicked a rat of my mattress, pulled the story off my typewriter, and muttered “Let’s see how they like that!”
for the first time I saw daylight, I saw a kid standing outside waiting to rob me, hand in his pocket, he cocked a hammer and told me to drop it,
I stood frozen, sure everything was true if they were waiting to stop it going through the presses, I was ready to die when an old man came by, chased him off with a cane and yelled “Stop it!”
this boy dropped two rocks he clicked together to make a gun noise in his coat and ran, I was stunned and I just studied the face and thanked God for the old man
I interviewed him, a source for my civilian militia, and next week I was in a real bed in my apartment when they ran the issue.

Many months ago, something crazy happened, our family had a tight net over the whole city then it snapped and
lieutenants, enforcers, soldiers all turned on each other on the orders of opposing captains
we turned to our cops, sergeants and detectives, turns out their own were capped before then
cops were ******* with corruption and a lone gunman who hit their families and crossfire killed three kids, four men, rich thieves died poor men,
every single lawyer and city politician at that time was locked up with all eyes on the boxing commission and a homicide spree tied to a ******’ blues musician
it was like all the focus left and they let clowns just step in, meanwhile we were undermined by our own kind, greedy backstabbers and
they cost us the whole operation, cannibal rats, growing fat off our own hind end
in the confusion every two-bit hood and crook, every able-bodied gun and ******, every veteran and rookie, all the way from the bottom to the Consigliere got took,
I found the underboss hanging on to evidence that shut the Don out of the state from a firebombed butcher’s shop in the back by a meat hook, bullet riddled legs limp and falling off, a dozen dead thugs by a card game in the back, plates with cold steak and scrambled eggs
papers ran facts on the carnage, questioned the anarchy, only one washout journalist tried to explain
he must have racked his brain, put himself through so much pain,
in a blind spot there was just another crime, on a scale that looked insane
he said good people were out there, outnumbering the bad
that no matter the hard times, those breed helping hands from survivors who know what they’re like, because they see you having the same day they’ve had
his words were in print, but I felt them reaching out and the fingertips fell short of the grasp
he was a man drowning in senseless slaughter, coming up for air and that was what he saw in a gasp
I know they need hope, but they don’t know it like I do, it’s the environment that breeds the opportunity, otherwise we would never get away with what we do
people don’t make the city clean
you know what I mean
there’s a system, they operate it, a monolithic, twisted, broken glass jaw of a weaker species that spits spiteful and sick ****, it’s full of hatred, eyes red, bureaucrats that ******* cats to see them land on their backs, it only speaks the language of violent acts so it only understands you if you attack, everything in the string-pullers is the least of actual humanity, it’s forsaken because they are the most of what a person lacks, and we answer to their highest calling it’s brass tacks, it’s a blood tax, it’s a wish come true light the candle at both ends and wait until there’s no more wax,
the city isn’t *****, it was built by us, it wasn’t perfect when we got here, but we **** sure broke her trust, you either live the life you want or you die how you must.
write
please read and enjoy
Z Dec 2021
Just inna bit,
Just is just but just a wrist was slit
Just a while ago,
Just in some part of the world,
Just as the pain took hold,
Just as much as one person can take,
Just like blood the thick syrup of the grapes,
Just is late,
Just is fake,
Just is to discriminate
Just as the gay rights are accepted
Just as racism is still highly affected,
Just is never equal,
Just will never be fair,
Just is far away from injust,
Just as Just is so far from near,
Just give me a second
Just mend my heart from that weapon
Just before I had a broken heart
Just as she came I found all its parts,
Just as loyal I am,
Just as loyal I will require her to be,
Just as I was cheated on,
Just as I pray a second time it doesn't happen to me,
Just a life
Just a knife,
Just a little girl under mental pain and stress
Just a little girl who was laid to rest,
Just a box,
Just a hole,
Just six feet
Just your body feeling cold
Just another service
Just another prayer
Just another soul leaving the earth
Just another soul entering here.

— The End —