"impulsion" poems
*eking out the ultimate gasp in my last breath of impulsion
i collapse without a touch of grace at race's end
how i made it i will never know
dazed and in bewilderment
i reminisce upon my journey
an aggregation of barricades assailed me
with iniquitous decadent delight
seeming to writhe in triumph at my possible demise
capitulating as it devoured and spewed me out the other side
i humbly reassembled fragments of my near annihilation
temporarily rehabilitated
i recommenced the toilsome climb
to the treasured peak atop the mount
when in would come the tempest with its furor
and render me asunder
mere exhaustion is not the word
for death experienced recurrently
ground to mulch and back again
screaming, pleading, surrendering
proved futile as i newly met the same demise
near incapacitation i miraculously emerged
and scraping pulled myself with broken heart and bones
scratching my way through the darkness
toppling at the pinnacle
to victory's end
with exhilaration it dawns on me
the long dark night is over
i passed the test to realize
it is not the finish line
but only the beginning
©2016janetaylor
May 1, 2016
May 1, 2016 at 5:22 PM UTC
The birthday song is not a song it's not even a small ditty
As it is only four lines long it's really rather ******
There isn't a good chorus so isn't that a pity
A catchy tune it has not got and the lyrics are not witty
This song's lyrics are so short and there all the ****** same
Apart from the 3rd line down when you substitute a name
Okay you say "Dear" instead of "To", but its still a basic frame
So this is not a song at all so why has it got the fame
It's no wonder people alter the words with monkeys in the zoo
And looking like these critters and smelling like them too
Or changed to bread and butter in the gutter or squashed tomatoes and stew
Because the song is so boring so what else can you do
Who the hell wrote this song was it someone who's autistic
Come on now lets be frank and a bit more realistic
If I where to write this song producers would go ballistic
I'd get thrown out of the biz and become a lost statistic
Just because it's your birthday I'm not singing about happy
People are compelled to sing when really its just ******
It's not the best song in the world I don't want to sound so snappy
The birthday song is full of crap just like a soiled *****
It's like we are pre programmed even Marilyn Monroe
To sing the ****** birthday song just for ****** show
But honestly this song is crap and it can surely go
And we can stop with the pretence and cease going with the flow
When your birthday does arrive and your expecting a big day
The time will come when you know your ears are going to pay
Cos someone's bound to start it with or without your say
Why does it have to be sung does it have to be this way
Singing the birthday song should not be a life compulsion
Don't succumb to the trend and quash your minds impulsion
Stamp down on the process and enforce a song expulsion
Do away with this song and all of its revulsion
The birthday song is not a song when it's sixteen words long
Half of them are happy birthday that doesn't constitute a song
The wording is so ****** thin as thin as a snapped thong
And the musical arrangement isn't even strong
People should not sing this song not even a small bit
Why is it classed as a song we should stop singing it
Most of the words are the same and there is a lack of wit
So don't sing the birthday song cos it's not a song it's ****
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 8:14 AM UTC
Be wary of me
My friend of frailty,
Because we see love
In different shades and
Express it in diverging ways.
I admit:
I'm a ****
I don't way my words and
My actions are driven by
Impulsion and confusion.
My biggest fear is that one day
We would break
Or rather,
I would break
You.
I don't know how to say what I mean;
I can never fathom what you really feel.
My laughter may be hurtful daggers;
My silence may sound like crashing thunders.
Can your bones stand my embrace?
Can you hear me whispering
The things I'm too shy to say?
Truth be told:
I love you
But
Save your heart
And save my dignity.
Darling,
I think you should
Stay away from me.
Aug 16, 2014
Aug 16, 2014 at 10:40 AM UTC
1. I stopped wearing mascara and eye-liner already.
2. There’s a ball within my gut that is benumbing my insides.
3. I look at my hands and they are trembling.
4. This is bad.
5. I’ve always known how fatal impulsion and indecision are but I never listen to myself.
6. I have my walls up but the dragon is inside, slaying every beauty I fabricated with his gigantic strength.
7. I bring handkerchiefs everywhere I go now.
8. This is bad.
9. I had been given three cards to bring into play in order for me to save myself.
10. I’ve used them all already.
11. This is bad.
12. I’m still trembling.
13. The dragon wouldn’t have been here to slaughter me and my kingdom if I hadn’t invited him in.
14. I hear his words over and over again. They sing melodies of his beautiful promises and endearments. Did I make them up inside my head? Why won’t they stop?
15. A tear left a **** across my cheek. I didn’t wear mascara.
16. It’s dark. Did the light burn out?
17. This is bad.
18. There has been an explosion from my innards. I’m all over the place. My pieces are everywhere.
19. I thought he was a prince. How could the dragon’s disguise look so real? I fixed my gaze at him (or it?) and he (or it) looked so gentle. Why is he (or it) burning my garden with his fire breath that is this cold?
20. I used to not bring handkerchiefs. I always lose them. But I have to now.
21. It’s so dark. I can’t see. Where is the light?
22. I’m lost.
23. This is bad.
24. I don’t need handkerchiefs. The tears are overflowing and they’re making an ocean around me.
25. This ocean is drowning me and I’m slowly reaching the depths of it. Will I ever re-surface?
26. I’m drowning. There’s no more air in my lungs.
27. I see the dragon. It’s hovering over me. Does he also want to wreck this ocean? Like my kingdom was just his warm up?
28. This darkness seems better than the light.
29. I can only be saved thrice. I’ve been saved thrice already.
30. Is this my end?
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 10:11 PM UTC
The first thing that hits me is the fear.
I wake up screaming in my heart, plastered to the sheets of my bed that weigh me down like an anchor. There are tears streaming down my face and I know if I could see my own face at that very moment, there would be terror; panic etched in every corner. It should comfort me, the morning rays of sunlight dancing in the room, but it doesn't. Only when I take the first inhale and exhale of the day does my pulse start to slow down, my mind reminding me that I am awake. That this is reality now, and everything that I just saw - no matter how real it seemed - was only just a dream.
I turn to my side and whisper in frantic breaths for you to still be safe, to always be safe, to be alive. It is a mindless thing, acted upon impulsion, desperation and intuition. There are things in this world that cannot be explained until a person finds themselves in that particular position, and this is one of them. This is the second time, a voice reminds me in the back of my thoughts, that I have been terrified that you have possibly passed on. Scared to the very core of my heart, even, and it frightens me to even consider the possibility of you not there.
People don’t understand. I didn't either, not for a very long time, how one can love another wholeheartedly and completely. To be connected to someone in your heart - and to just know that connection is, and has always been there. That somehow all the moments in life and everything that happened was building up to that one grand moment where it all began. That even though you try to convince yourself otherwise, you know you would do anything for them. That despite everything that has happened, you still hope for everything in the future to happen, a future with them still in it, because they’re a part of all you have.
Sleep takes me under her wing soon after my murmuring ends, but you are still at the tip of my tongue, base of my thoughts and whole of my heart.
Please, I love you. Be safe, be safe, be safe.
(A.H.Z)
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 5:58 AM UTC
O mother, take me there, where I find the gratifying grace,
Take me there, where I dwell in bliss,
Take me there, where I ramble in rapturous joy,
Take me to that miraculous planet and nurture me,
O mother, take me there, where I find the tantalizing nothingness,
Take me there, in to the surrealistic world and let me ponder over the nature’s allegories,
Take me to this exuberant excursion,
O mother, I have become claustrophobic, I cannot live in this enclosed space,
Take me to the infinity where I have no confinity,
Take me through the valleys of sunshine and glory,
O mother, Let me live the eternal love,
Let me smell the soil,
Let me hear the choirs of sea,
Let me be an epicurean,
Let me squelch and tread on the planet,
Let me see the picturesque of nature,
Let me lay my body on the roots of heaven,
Let me dandle on your knees,
Let me construe the dappled sky,
Let me live and leave,
O mother, instigate your benign impulsion,
I long to see you and the world,
I want to be resurrected,
O mother, I loved you before I knew, I believed in you before I knew.
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 9:58 AM UTC
*Where did it all go, that 'true love' intention
caught up in the flames of fiery impulsion
you ride me like a stallion into oblivion
then flip me over and tease relentlessly
I unfolded in your heat scorching touch
prayed you'd linger deep in me for a moment
your evil ways were never satiated
wanted my tears within the luster
tore a hole in my heart then ran with it
wanted me to worship at your feet
although that was not enough
those nights in white satin sheets
had to be ruled by your bloodlust
You broke apart my insides, devour'd
me like an animalistic charlatan
back to black once again for satisfaction
drained my heart till there was barely breath
******* the air from vital emotions
'came into my life so tenderly'
then maimed me with your mighty sword
deep inside my psyche, you hurt me so bad
You don't need me, just want surrender
like a bitter coffee addiction, I drink you in
helplessly falling under your wanton spell
I run from you but I can't hide
from how you unfurl my senses
that flaming yearning is all that remains
it hurts so good, yet, it hurts so madly bad
still you left your mark on me for eternity
I beg of you taint me once again till you've had your fill
I'll die within the confines of this sweet heavenly misery*
Oct 11, 2013
Oct 11, 2013 at 3:05 PM UTC
The boy brought his rocket ship and his soft pursed lips,
pressing his gentle words into the eyes, to brighten the night,
the eyes of stars.
It now shines, gleaming, but not with such loud impulsion so that the sun comes to hear;
only in a gentle glow, that mimics the boy's lively, beautiful, flow
sending a beacon to path the boy through every star and every galaxy
the path so clear,
but the boy long gone
It finds itself to shine to a slight glow
refusing to show its silent desires
of the gentle cheek of that boy
But still holding, its now, ghastly shade of path
a last hope
a final word through breath;
finally it shines no more
containing its last words
wanting to wait or hope no more
All of the world seemed to scream
except for the boy who forgot to dream.
Mar 8, 2013
Mar 8, 2013 at 12:05 AM UTC
The Night Table
The night table, the night stand,
Too small for all it must yeoman hold,
Something keeps falling down
Lamp, bottle of water, a single tissue, partially used, a clean corner held in abeyance for future tears when poetry writing, writing tablet for when the impulsion strikes, lamp that goes on n' off when it so chooses, a straw-woven coffee cup thing to keep off the stains of liquid time, a watch that tells you the time only when it is falling over on the way down to hit the ground, a picture frame of mother and child from thirty years ago...
if there was more room,
this list would be longer
but I already told ya,
this night table is just too **** small
which was told to you twenty years
when you bot two of them!
Re-decorate, she replies
A single word
that strikes
terror
In the heart of a
grown man.
Good thing I am still a kid
And don't any need any of those grown-up things
Listed above.
Keep those night tables babe,
Perfectly serviceable and a metaphor
For two kids like us,
Cuddling in the bed those night table stand astride,
Guardians of the place where we tell each other tales
of twenty years ago...
(I told ya they were too small)
June 1
6:54 AM
Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 6:58 AM UTC
You’re my tortured skin begging to feel your touch
Your words kiss me on my lips, your description
Fascinates me, with mouths wide open you hold me
In my vision….
You tell me I am your temptress of emotions, as you outline
My face with your fingertips, you touch me with a hunger
That burns, as my hand glide across your chest.. my face
rubs your manly hair, as my vision of you makes me smile…
With every step you make me in an ****** vision tunneled
I swallowed your intoxicate silhouette, as sweat drips
From my eyelashes, my lips tremble, as you approach me
I am open in the vibration of the vision …
Our bodies molten by the hot liquid of our lava, we gyrates
In our convulsion of each other, I see you turn In my direction
My pulse races at a faster impulsion, you stand there, soaking in my sight
I don’t want to walk away from this vision ….
Debbie Brooks 2014
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 9:56 PM UTC
Come to think of it,
I am not confident going for another one will help.
Yet my fingers reach for this
expensive poison that feeds the craving...the fixation.
In other words. Putting closure to this impulsion is harder than I thought.
May 26, 2015
May 26, 2015 at 12:16 AM UTC
A fire blazing inside me.
Voracious flames burning.
Reason savaged by lust.
Devoured by vigor,
decision persuaded by motions,
with impulsion untamed.compulsion
Desires, eager --
fuels the flame. Gushing, pleasures
yearning flesh, requiring consumption,
of forbidden depths.
To quench a thirst,
that always remain.
For the gift of love,
is the treasure of pain.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 11:57 PM UTC
Oh, the toxic substance that now flows through my veins,
Incessantly and constantly,
Composing more of myself than the very air I breathe.
Love and lust drive my compulsion,
Trying to hold back the whirlwind of anxiety and depression lurking within.
It is the antidote to the pain I feel,
While also being the very cause of the fever that now courses through my body.
Like modernity it seeks to heal something,
While also destroying something else.
I drown the impulsion to see you,
While also stoking the fire that craves your touch.
I am lost in this sea of chaos,
Marauded in such strange lands full of hope and betrayal.
The memory of you sleeping soundly in my arms soothes my soul,
While the thought of you moaning a strange name seeks to tear it apart.
How I wish to be the man you need me to be,
The man I promised you I would become.
Truth is I am merely a clown trapped in a boy’s body,
Bound to my grief like scars on my arms
Originating from a pit of sorry and anger.
*** helps me rationalize my pain,
Whiskey helps me forget how much I miss you.
Beer allows me to bury my demons deep within,
While wine’s only job is to set them free on me;
Free to haunt my every sober and drunken thought.
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 18, 2014 at 12:02 AM UTC
Bien des gens ont mis leurs sentiments en mots pour soulager leur cœur trop lourd.
Il me semble alors utile de le faire maintenant parce que traîner mon corps est un supplice.
Je te sens m’éviter, sachant très bien ce qui s’est passé, mais refusant de prendre ta part de responsabilité.
Nous étions deux.
Tu m’as dit que c’était compliqué.
J’ai tout accepté en étant sous l’effet de l’étincelle du moment que tu m’avais offert.
Tu exprimais tes remords tout en continuant ce que nous avions commencé.
Tout est flou à présent.
Un instant tu était l’ami qui pouvait me faire sourire même lorsque le ciel me tombait sur la tête et en une fraction de seconde, tu balayais cette relation du revers de la main.
« Je n’aurais pas dû faire ça » tu m’as dit.
Et pourtant tu l’as fait.
Je ne crois pas à l’effet de l’alcool.
Étais-je simplement le fruit d’une impulsion ou juste une autre de plus?
J’ai mal.
Je t’ai donné l’occasion de m’expliquer et tu t’entêtes à éviter de me répondre clairement.
Je ne peux plus manger.
Tout me tente et me dégoûte à la fois.
Je ne regrette pas que tu aies été le premier.
C’était à la limite romantique.
Cependant, je ne peux l’oublier, la scène repasse sans cesse.
Je ne peux pas nier que je rêve d’un autre moment comme celui-là avec toi.
Je n’aurais pas pu imaginer un first kiss plus parfait.
Oui, il m’a surpris, mais je pense qu’il le fallait.
Tu es tellement attentionné, tu ne sais pas la valeur que tu as.
Tu as su me transmettre ta confiance et ta joie.
Tu as rendu mes 18 ans inoubliables.
Passer mes mains dans tes cheveux, danser avec incohérence au gré d’une musique qui faisait vibrer de l’intérieur et t’embrasser avec un peu trop de vigueur.
Je ne pourrai jamais te dire à quel point tu es une personne hors du commun.
J’ai presque honte de mes sentiments parce que je sais que pour toi, l’amitié est le seul fil qui nous relie.
Il faut que ça sorte pour que j’aille mieux.
Je me trouve si extravagante d’en faire toute une histoire pour de frivoles embrassades de bar, mais il y a de quoi se poser des questions.
Je ne sais pas si tu aura le courage de tout lire.
Dans mon fort intérieur je sens que j’éprouve quelque chose pour toi. C’est indéniable.
J’ai passé des heures à scruter à la loupe ce que j’en pensais.
Sans l’ombre d’un doute, ce n’est pas l’amitié qui me fait vivre.
P.S. La fille qui rentra un jour au bar pour en ressortir comme une femme.
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 11:35 PM UTC
much regret
i fill my cup
then fill another
and call it a night
i'm tired of being afraid of what could happen
what i would give
to operate in the realm of reality
to purge myself of emotion and impulsion
to make a better life for myself
and its not that i can't
it'd just be easier if i didn't care
Jul 1, 2024
Jul 1, 2024 at 11:01 PM UTC
Emotions are like bullets
Hitting faster than thoughts
They are fraught with danger
and by design cause wars
But battles are not won
by rashness and impulsion
it takes calm and collected thought
which wont bow down to coercion
feeling this
wont help you feel that
feeling this
means your actions are no act
so think if you feel
but don't feel cause you think
promoting false emotions
causes truth to sink
did this make you think?
or did this make you feel?
and if it did both
which one was more real?
Apr 23, 2016
Apr 23, 2016 at 12:43 PM UTC
Physical impulsion
oh, the sweet tension of seeing yer professor’s foot shaking ‘round and fro-
As some accented booble-eye
manly from the Amazon
comes into HIS Friday classroom
full of hungered heads & He
comes in and starts talkin’ poverty!
and an all-fix-this, animals and oh
he’s got a lot of wood-bead bracelets,
I admire their tight holy fit but
this Guy’s got somethin’ to prove!
Teodros watching admiring his beautiful
beloved, young students challenging “TRUTHS”. He took the reigns now!
Claiming his wild afternoon class right under that hardened commanding voice you know he’s trained you know he’s passionate, man
for good reasons!, you know he stimulated those thoughts,
Oh Teodros, I think of you...
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 17, 2018 at 10:04 PM UTC