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"impasse" poems
right in front of me but out of reach windiness tests upon tests you teach me patience i’m weary but i keep chasing and i just don’t know if i can reach the top collecting pieces of facts like rags i shape opinions, secrets map trust impasse. i may never know the mountain shade unearthed in doubt from years of pain but for it all i love you more you teach me strength and i’ll plant my flag and print my foot drag my wooden, peg-legged soul lose my voice, foretell my wake altitudes high and immense please believe what i can see let me teach you acceptance everest man i am shrinking as you hide the sun behind your back as you hide the sun away from me
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Mar 28, 2017
Mar 28, 2017 at 4:06 PM UTC
Man Everest
i. I’ve heard people say on various occasions “if it’s meant to be, it will happen.” I don’t buy it. Lots of things never happened that should have. ii. Talking to Jimi was like having a conversation thru the plexi-glass of a prison visitation room. They could see each other, they could almost touch each other, but a layer of bullet proof glass stood between them and true intimacy.  Yet, there were times when the wall was more like the shell of a bubble—thin and pliable and sticking to her fingers when she pressed against it. And Jimi’s shape would begin to take form with her touch, and the reality of his true self would show in defiance of his expectations. iii. Jimi just didn’t seem to get it. It was like he thought every word Mango uttered about her crushed spirit and just trying to survive was some sort of manipulation tactic.   “You don't act like you did before.” She said. “I'm sorry for that, you never leave my mind though.” “The things going on in your head don't talk to me or spend time with me or hold me....they just stay with you and I am all alone.” iv. “Jimi, I can’t focus, I can’t concentrate on anything! The sound of my thoughts are so loud that reality is just background clamor and white noise!” “I’m trying, I’m doing the best I can. What more do you want me to do?” “Move out! Make the leap! If you’re not happy there, if you don’t want to be married to her you shouldn’t be there. If being with me isn’t enough motivation to leave, then leave because Lizi deserves more than a fake husband.” “I’m **** I’m just a coward. I don’t like myself for what I’m doing.” “The only one who can change how you feel about yourself is you. Sitting around thinking about how ****** you are isn’t going to change a **** thing.” “Neither is yelling at me.” “Then I guess we’re at an impasse.” v. Something in their relationship had died. Not unlike the many times Mango’s heart had been broken and her hope had been lost. But it was harder for Jimi, taking that leap of love in the first place was the most difficult thing he had ever done.  And now, he had never experienced such intense levels of pain, he thought his heart would literally stop beating, and he would be swallowed up by the enormous cavity in his chest.  Mango wanted to know if he could love her again, and he didn’t know, he honestly didn’t know. He wanted to, but now the part of him that feared he would not be enough for her had taken over, and his sense of fear and overwhelm was too much for him to bear.
0
Jul 17, 2013
Jul 17, 2013 at 2:45 AM UTC
Jimi and Mango iii
i. I’ve heard people say on various occasions “if it’s meant to be, it will happen.” I don’t buy it. Lots of things never happened that should have. ii. Talking to Jimi was like having a conversation thru the plexi-glass of a prison visitation room. They could see each other, they could almost touch each other, but a layer of bullet proof glass stood between them and true intimacy.  Yet, there were times when the wall was more like the shell of a bubble—thin and pliable and sticking to her fingers when she pressed against it. And Jimi’s shape would begin to take form with her touch, and the reality of his true self would show in defiance of his expectations. iii. Jimi just didn’t seem to get it. It was like he thought every word Mango uttered about her crushed spirit and just trying to survive was some sort of manipulation tactic.   “You don't act like you did before.” She said. “I'm sorry for that, you never leave my mind though.” “The things going on in your head don't talk to me or spend time with me or hold me....they just stay with you and I am all alone.” iv. “Jimi, I can’t focus, I can’t concentrate on anything! The sound of my thoughts are so loud that reality is just background clamor and white noise!” “I’m trying, I’m doing the best I can. What more do you want me to do?” “Move out! Make the leap! If you’re not happy there, if you don’t want to be married to her you shouldn’t be there. If being with me isn’t enough motivation to leave, then leave because Lizi deserves more than a fake husband.” “I’m **** I’m just a coward. I don’t like myself for what I’m doing.” “The only one who can change how you feel about yourself is you. Sitting around thinking about how ****** you are isn’t going to change a **** thing.” “Neither is yelling at me.” “Then I guess we’re at an impasse.” v. Something in their relationship had died. Not unlike the many times Mango’s heart had been broken and her hope had been lost. But it was harder for Jimi, taking that leap of love in the first place was the most difficult thing he had ever done.  And now, he had never experienced such intense levels of pain, he thought his heart would literally stop beating, and he would be swallowed up by the enormous cavity in his chest.  Mango wanted to know if he could love her again, and he didn’t know, he honestly didn’t know. He wanted to, but now the part of him that feared he would not be enough for her had taken over, and his sense of fear and overwhelm was too much for him to bear.
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25
The hole is deep enough for the two of us And yet we keep on digging! To haul each day a heavy load Is this the life worth living? I hear the wailing in the distance I feel the heavy hooves beating down The stubborn mule never listened And the steed chased but never found The gift of life can give or take Like crops in a drought mid harvest Sugar cane can grow in numbers Or growing hunger serves to starve us So when the wind no longer howls We will see the trees stop flailing And when the eyes can see the sea We can trust the sailor sailing.
0
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 4:53 PM UTC
Impasse
Remoaners to the left, Brextremists to the right, Theresa “Maggie” May has an uphill fight. I can’t see her lasting many more days, Unless she changes her stubborn ways. Theresa is an immovable object. Her hubby must be totally henpecked. Trying to please just everyone, Annoying all is what she’s done. Right now she is UK Prime Minister, But her own back benchers are getting sinister. Some say she’s sold us down the river, A thing for which they can’t forgive her. Others claim she’s gone too far, As we should stay just where we are. Some see Europe as our friend, But others say the UK we must defend. Ireland is a sticking point A thing that’s gonna rock the joint. They don’t know where to put the border, Without causing grief and disorder. What an impasse, feels like stalemate, Are we heading to be a slave state? Who knows what’s going to happen next? No wonder we are all perplexed. Paul Butters © PB 17\11\2018.
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Nov 17, 2018
Nov 17, 2018 at 6:19 AM UTC
Stalemate
All summer we moved in a villa brimful of echos, Cool as the pearled interior of a conch. Bells, hooves, of the high-stipping black goats woke us. Around our bed the baronial furniture Foundered through levels of light seagreen and strange. Not one leaf wrinkled in the clearing air. We dreamed how we were perfect, and we were. Against bare, whitewashed walls, the furniture Anchored itself, griffin-legged and darkly grained. Two of us in a place meant for ten more- Our footsteps multiplied in the shadowy chambers, Our voices fathomed a profounder sound: The walnut banquet table, the twelve chairs Mirrored the intricate gestures of two others. Heavy as a statuary, shapes not ours Performed a dumbshow in the polished wood, That cabinet without windows or doors: He lifts an arm to bring her close, but she Shies from his touch: his is an iron mood. Seeing her freeze, he turns his face away. They poise and grieve as in some old tragedy. Moon-blanched and implacable, he and she Would not be eased, released. Our each example Of temderness dove through their purgatory Like a planet, a stone, swallowed in a great darkness, Leaving no sparky track, setting up no ripple. Nightly we left them in their desert place. Lights out, they dogged us, sleepless and envious: We dreamed their arguments, their stricken voices. We might embrace, but those two never did, Come, so unlike us, to a stiff impasse, Burdened in such a way we seemed the lighter- Ourselves the haunters, and they, flesh and blood; As if, above love's ruinage, we were The heaven those two dreamed of, in despair.
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3.2k
The Other Two
All summer we moved in a villa brimful of echos, Cool as the pearled interior of a conch. Bells, hooves, of the high-stipping black goats woke us. Around our bed the baronial furniture Foundered through levels of light seagreen and strange. Not one leaf wrinkled in the clearing air. We dreamed how we were perfect, and we were. Against bare, whitewashed walls, the furniture Anchored itself, griffin-legged and darkly grained. Two of us in a place meant for ten more- Our footsteps multiplied in the shadowy chambers, Our voices fathomed a profounder sound: The walnut banquet table, the twelve chairs Mirrored the intricate gestures of two others. Heavy as a statuary, shapes not ours Performed a dumbshow in the polished wood, That cabinet without windows or doors: He lifts an arm to bring her close, but she Shies from his touch: his is an iron mood. Seeing her freeze, he turns his face away. They poise and grieve as in some old tragedy. Moon-blanched and implacable, he and she Would not be eased, released. Our each example Of temderness dove through their purgatory Like a planet, a stone, swallowed in a great darkness, Leaving no sparky track, setting up no ripple. Nightly we left them in their desert place. Lights out, they dogged us, sleepless and envious: We dreamed their arguments, their stricken voices. We might embrace, but those two never did, Come, so unlike us, to a stiff impasse, Burdened in such a way we seemed the lighter- Ourselves the haunters, and they, flesh and blood; As if, above love's ruinage, we were The heaven those two dreamed of, in despair.
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35
or EGGSISTENTIALISM I put eggs in a *** with some water to cook turned the heat up to hot then the egg-timer took and I gave it a spin so the sand was on top and an aperture, thin, let the grains start to drop like a little landslide that just in a short while had begun spreading wide from a conical pile then I saw myself there in the egg timer's glass and returned my own glare just to fill the impasse but my face looked obscure seeming bulbous and stout with my chin on the floor and my brow at the spout as the sand tumbled south to the hour-glass base down my nose to my mouth just like tears on my face then I had this strange thought as I took an egg cup of how time can run short while it's filling right up now a thousand yard stare in those eyes, I could see existential despair facing infinity they left no room to doubt that we'd both been misled that time doesn't run out - it falls right on your head 'til you're buried alive with a mouthful of grit you might think you'll survive but it's not prone to quit then your eggs are all done time's caught up and been spent by the end of the run your not sure where it went but time waits for no man that much can't be denied so boiled eggs? change of plan - in the end had them fried.
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Dec 3, 2022
Dec 3, 2022 at 5:02 AM UTC
BOILED EGGS & EXISTENTIALISM
**** mit ein(e) gernierung of... ****** MACDONALDS for the protestants MCDONALDS for the catholics... and **** the rest of it whoop di do d'ah whoopsie!    **** it...   i always called the IRA the ginger ninja brigade... ******* ***** ha ha! is that even permitted? like... oopsies?!    oh **** the steam-roller is giving it a shot at reading the earth,.. flat...    map on paper? **** me... no app....              ****** you ever navigate a car through the German Rhine roundabout? what's in it? Dortmund.. Essen...              you know that constipated part of the road map of Europe...                ever navigate that trippy conundrum ******** of navigation? beside me...               can't speak german, won't navigate in german, no matter how many Mercedes-Benz they pump out from the Henry Ford institute of the reclining chair, supposing    die krupps to be squidgy clean... i think the european translation reads: die Dortmund Ringe... das Rhine Ringe... **** allocating yourself to a rally car...    navigate through that sort of German ********           achtung achtung... autobahn ende!                vorwärtskreis might as well salute for a second coming of... hítlear!     shaking Stevens?   huh?!                knee on the no contra the know: bother... the english won't know... isn't that nay?    i listen to too much lawyer jargon...              i'd love to listen to poetry... but... i figured...    lawyers play the slight of the sly of hand that poets exasperate into toying with words to accomplish art... lawyers? the impasse of judgement?   **** me!                   apparently the argument goes: down syndrome... psychopaths... 'ere by god's grace...    much grace, my lord...              too much grace...          two salvation pointers: (a) i won't drink with them... (b) i won't eat with them, (c) there is no "c" that isn't a "d" that isn't an "e" "f", etc! you get a zebra... you get a null bonus! a ******* safari of an automated anti hamster Boston outfit!
0
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 8:23 PM UTC
schlang
**** mit ein(e) gernierung of... ****** MACDONALDS for the protestants MCDONALDS for the catholics... and **** the rest of it whoop di do d'ah whoopsie!    **** it...   i always called the IRA the ginger ninja brigade... ******* ***** ha ha! is that even permitted? like... oopsies?!    oh **** the steam-roller is giving it a shot at reading the earth,.. flat...    map on paper? **** me... no app....              ****** you ever navigate a car through the German Rhine roundabout? what's in it? Dortmund.. Essen...              you know that constipated part of the road map of Europe...                ever navigate that trippy conundrum ******** of navigation? beside me...               can't speak german, won't navigate in german, no matter how many Mercedes-Benz they pump out from the Henry Ford institute of the reclining chair, supposing    die krupps to be squidgy clean... i think the european translation reads: die Dortmund Ringe... das Rhine Ringe... **** allocating yourself to a rally car...    navigate through that sort of German ********           achtung achtung... autobahn ende!                vorwärtskreis might as well salute for a second coming of... hítlear!     shaking Stevens?   huh?!                knee on the no contra the know: bother... the english won't know... isn't that nay?    i listen to too much lawyer jargon...              i'd love to listen to poetry... but... i figured...    lawyers play the slight of the sly of hand that poets exasperate into toying with words to accomplish art... lawyers? the impasse of judgement?   **** me!                   apparently the argument goes: down syndrome... psychopaths... 'ere by god's grace...    much grace, my lord...              too much grace...          two salvation pointers: (a) i won't drink with them... (b) i won't eat with them, (c) there is no "c" that isn't a "d" that isn't an "e" "f", etc! you get a zebra... you get a null bonus! a ******* safari of an automated anti hamster Boston outfit!
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90
Going in Circles seems like I've been here before is it deja vu or really something more when I feel I have left my comfort zone here I am again in the looking glass is it me or just a figment of mind searching everywhere trying to find the road that leads me from the garden path nothing changes only time will pass the lady that has stolen my heart she has a smile that sets her apart but she only comes to me in my dreams such an unsettling confusing morass now here I am I have come back to begin going in circles in a heart wrenching spin one more time around the trap in my head have I reached my life's impasse round and round and nobody knows I wonder if my pain truly shows going in circles will this ever end one last swallow to empty my wineglass Gomer LePoet....
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Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013 at 6:40 PM UTC
Going in Circles
As the last waltz playing in my jacket ceased, Loneliness and longing spilled out, Along with a few coins and a recorder From my roomy coat pockets. The phone booth stood there, Frosted by icicles of promises Never thawed to life, Yet a haven from my impasse; A womb for the stranded & unwanted. I closed the door behind me, And fed the phone a few coins, Punched your number with numb fingers And fogged up the insides of the glass, As I waited to hear your voice. “Hello?” You said, but where were my words? I must have lost them on my way, I must have fed them to the phone Along with the paltry coins, Could you hear what I wanted to say? “Hello?” You repeated, a little alert, I listened to your silence, trying to smile, It sank like warm music on my heart, Waltzes and sonatas were so cliché. Where were my words? Just one would suffice, Couldn’t I sum us up in a single word? I couldn’t find the kigo to our season. I had lost it, left it with you, That and my voice In the world I was forced to leave, And all this while I was held, Tenuously to you by this phone call, Till I heard the strained dial tone again, In this silent world I’ve come to inhabit.
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May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 10:11 AM UTC
Phone Booth at the End of the World
Winter's unsteady weather cold, cold, hot desert on this walkabout with severe angles of sun icy mornings drip into the sweat of day the impasse of giant stones the gods have laid to stop or climb another way egos travel irretrievable, sink into what is real here we scale thorny towers of denial revealed, peeled in layers - to cry, to smile meanwhile awakened, shaken from the sleep of our amnesia.
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Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 9:24 AM UTC
Amnesia
Sometimes I feel like I'm just frozen in space, Stuck in the fabric of time Without a purpose, simply static Not quite floating, Not actively moving but not stopping either Hurtling through the stars, Simply dancing in the dark. I don't act, I don't try; I just find myself in the sky Waiting for you to come, though you never do. Give me a reason to stay, to leave, Something to hint that we should be complete I just want to stop being alone, Stuck here, Dancing in the dark. It's such a shame to be alone Here among this beauty that I can't appreciate My mind won't stop focusing on you, And your inability to reciprocate So I will remain, Swirling in this nebula of stars, Dancing alone in the dark. You don't want me here But you can do nothing to stop me So we're at an impasse, love-- Unable to continue, unable to desist I just want you to end up in my arms, But you know this will never work So I'm frozen here Forever in love, forever broken Simply listening to your voice as it shatters the silence, While we're dancing in the dark. The sky is lit with a million stars The void is painted with their light Space screams with everything left unsaid For I will, here, remain, Crying into the nothingness as I am spent I don't want to keep dancing in the dark. Stop shutting me out. You may think you hide it so well, But I see you, love. I may be blind in the daylight, But I hear you loud and clear You think you wear that mask with such aplomb But I know you're really a ticking bomb You're just like me, love We may hear different tunes, we may not feel the same drums But you are here too, dancing in the dark. We're not so different after all. I don't wanna cry after you, But I know I will. Here among the dying stars, As the sun begins to overtake the sky I'll keep dancing in the dark until the very end, Until there's nothing, of me, that's left. For, after all, It was you that sent me spiraling into the night, Awaiting death, As I danced in the dark for you.
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Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 1:11 AM UTC
Dancing in the Dark
Sometimes I feel like I'm just frozen in space, Stuck in the fabric of time Without a purpose, simply static Not quite floating, Not actively moving but not stopping either Hurtling through the stars, Simply dancing in the dark. I don't act, I don't try; I just find myself in the sky Waiting for you to come, though you never do. Give me a reason to stay, to leave, Something to hint that we should be complete I just want to stop being alone, Stuck here, Dancing in the dark. It's such a shame to be alone Here among this beauty that I can't appreciate My mind won't stop focusing on you, And your inability to reciprocate So I will remain, Swirling in this nebula of stars, Dancing alone in the dark. You don't want me here But you can do nothing to stop me So we're at an impasse, love-- Unable to continue, unable to desist I just want you to end up in my arms, But you know this will never work So I'm frozen here Forever in love, forever broken Simply listening to your voice as it shatters the silence, While we're dancing in the dark. The sky is lit with a million stars The void is painted with their light Space screams with everything left unsaid For I will, here, remain, Crying into the nothingness as I am spent I don't want to keep dancing in the dark. Stop shutting me out. You may think you hide it so well, But I see you, love. I may be blind in the daylight, But I hear you loud and clear You think you wear that mask with such aplomb But I know you're really a ticking bomb You're just like me, love We may hear different tunes, we may not feel the same drums But you are here too, dancing in the dark. We're not so different after all. I don't wanna cry after you, But I know I will. Here among the dying stars, As the sun begins to overtake the sky I'll keep dancing in the dark until the very end, Until there's nothing, of me, that's left. For, after all, It was you that sent me spiraling into the night, Awaiting death, As I danced in the dark for you.
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59
True tangled Gordian thoughts entwine Amid labyrinthine paths that wind Sliding sledding serpentine To assay value and extent Braid a mind a shoreward end Seeking weeping thrashing send Infused with knowledge deep and sound A consciousness cogitabund Within the portals self confined Disconnected judgements breed Diffuse journeys often made To darkened places Where no light Of vision lucid sparkling bright Will penetrate and seem so safe Writhing heavy leaden womb Elusive dissolute abound Reclusive and so moribund But in the darkened space there seems A distant tendril sparkling white A reaching focal point to strive To make that leap Great grasping bound Wrapping arms so safe around Clasping forgone lines abandoned Sublimating impasse upward Strength of purpose Welling forward Great eruption spewing outwards Lava flowed eureka moment Spreading outwards Flowing downwards Cogent sentient live born Brewed in darkness Drinks the bright With clarity and strength unite Dazzling brilliant shining moment Cleft asunder glorious light  ....!
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Oct 14, 2009
Oct 14, 2009 at 2:13 AM UTC
Decisions
You twist my hands, and my mouth kept still. Again and again. Turning blue and purple, they are dying. And I thought: Is this the way holding hands feel? Suffocating, and miserable, I don't think this is right. We stayed statuesque, out of sight of crazed eyes, and my mouth kept still. Vibrations stuck between the walls of my throat. Under my mind, above my chest. And your hands are still on my hands. And now they're turning into the early night. This is how we die, you say. Even nothing has been forged into my memory. Your hands had killed mine. Over and over, i cling to the possibilities. And you let go when my hands are gray walked back into your skin. You are nothing but a murderer. And this is how I cannot go back to you. You are smart I applaud you. That's the thing anger is an impasse. As you are. And now, i wonder why I didn't think this before You were killing the very thing that i could hold you to keep you mine.
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Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 12:10 PM UTC
hands
freedom is a funny thing what would dreams bring but calamity (and loss tears superfluous waste of water) slow treading in treacle hold absent flora to the wind face cross eyed glory on a pale mask no extending big hand to the child who doles out water to babes from ***** papercups scratching scoops of brown mess amid domesticated fauna in the middle of nowhere land feet rubbing for warmth an ever going stipple wagon a small blanket the only cover one scooter holds too many open beauty closing too soon supply demand coercing blank stare impasse holds the keeper hostage some up - some down no break from unbroken cycle the dreamer lives forever on inside the tightest cage and knows there's little cure yet within full ironic view lies the priceless key to unlock dark eyes implore me to take you anything is possible                                                                       yes                                                                       anything dreamer, dreamer open dreamer open your dream wings
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Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013 at 11:38 AM UTC
dreamer
I am a weary traveler, yet I fatigue from sitting still I've been on this trail, seeking medicine for my disease Not sure if I'm still alive, or merely ill I am lukewarm water, yet I burn from the cold inside I stop at every impasse, pushing rocks out of my way And wondering if my legs are broken, or if they overstride I am a rudderless vessel, paying no mind to signs As I drift from place to place, from dream to dream Retreating from this world without a finish line I am a weary traveler, yet I fatigue from sitting still I've been on this trail, seeking medicine for my disease Still not sure if I'm alive, or merely ill
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Apr 18, 2016
Apr 18, 2016 at 9:59 AM UTC
Weary Traveler
Sleeping. No. Not sleeping. Hands in the dark. Arm/Arm. Next to each other, on top of each other. Legs. Legs. Foot. Tracing your leg. A hand in the dark. Fingers take my fingers. Touches my face. Kissing. Suddenly. You’re there. So am I. Should we be doing--? --Kiss. Never mind. You’re supposed to be on a plane right now. You’re not. You’re on this bed. Where I am too. You kiss me again. Hard. Hello, tongue. Wait. What? Doesn’t matter? Okay. Keep kissing. Yes. I know what this is. I’m everything she’s not. You call me beautiful. No, I’m not. My, you’re insistent. I really don’t think I am. You stare at me: I’m the only woman in the world. No one’s ever done that before. Hands are going places. I don’t want *** Well, I do. I want *** with love. You love someone else. And I love you. I am not an Equal Opportunity Provider. Is that okay? God, you’re so sweet. You kiss me again. I kiss you back. Stroke my hair. Scratchy beard, Rubs my chin. God you feel good. Ugh. My willpower is diminishing. Stop. Let’s talk. Not about…her. I mean. About whatever, really. Your back porch in Atlanta. Play them blues. Drink your Manhattans. You and your gin. Sounds beautiful. You want me to know I’m beautiful. No I’m not. Why do I think that? I’m just not. It seems we’re at an impasse. I don’t know I’m beautiful. You don’t know you’re quite a catch. You’re fanfacking tastic. How do you not know it? [It’s a cruel game; that the universe made you love someone who just can’t see that. That the Gods would laugh at our human folly seems unfair. That they gave us love and then gave us no directions on how to use it. That this man is tripping over his own two feet trekking mountains traversing deserts stealing the stars right out of the sky Trying to re-win the love of his life. She doesn’t even bat an eye. She doesn’t know that he is the rarest form of species. And she is a ******* poacher.] Now I’m falling in love with your soul. The very depths of you. The secret rooms. The inner dialogue. You just get me like no one else does. Sleeping. No. Getting there. Pull me in tight. Body on body. Safest place in the world is right here. My head on your chest. Arm/Arm. Hand/Hand. Tonight you’re mine. Tomorrow you were just a dream.
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Jun 13, 2012
Jun 13, 2012 at 2:46 PM UTC
Arm/Arm
Sleeping. No. Not sleeping. Hands in the dark. Arm/Arm. Next to each other, on top of each other. Legs. Legs. Foot. Tracing your leg. A hand in the dark. Fingers take my fingers. Touches my face. Kissing. Suddenly. You’re there. So am I. Should we be doing--? --Kiss. Never mind. You’re supposed to be on a plane right now. You’re not. You’re on this bed. Where I am too. You kiss me again. Hard. Hello, tongue. Wait. What? Doesn’t matter? Okay. Keep kissing. Yes. I know what this is. I’m everything she’s not. You call me beautiful. No, I’m not. My, you’re insistent. I really don’t think I am. You stare at me: I’m the only woman in the world. No one’s ever done that before. Hands are going places. I don’t want *** Well, I do. I want *** with love. You love someone else. And I love you. I am not an Equal Opportunity Provider. Is that okay? God, you’re so sweet. You kiss me again. I kiss you back. Stroke my hair. Scratchy beard, Rubs my chin. God you feel good. Ugh. My willpower is diminishing. Stop. Let’s talk. Not about…her. I mean. About whatever, really. Your back porch in Atlanta. Play them blues. Drink your Manhattans. You and your gin. Sounds beautiful. You want me to know I’m beautiful. No I’m not. Why do I think that? I’m just not. It seems we’re at an impasse. I don’t know I’m beautiful. You don’t know you’re quite a catch. You’re fanfacking tastic. How do you not know it? [It’s a cruel game; that the universe made you love someone who just can’t see that. That the Gods would laugh at our human folly seems unfair. That they gave us love and then gave us no directions on how to use it. That this man is tripping over his own two feet trekking mountains traversing deserts stealing the stars right out of the sky Trying to re-win the love of his life. She doesn’t even bat an eye. She doesn’t know that he is the rarest form of species. And she is a ******* poacher.] Now I’m falling in love with your soul. The very depths of you. The secret rooms. The inner dialogue. You just get me like no one else does. Sleeping. No. Getting there. Pull me in tight. Body on body. Safest place in the world is right here. My head on your chest. Arm/Arm. Hand/Hand. Tonight you’re mine. Tomorrow you were just a dream.
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108
Listen, I wanna embrace a blanket of your sensuality. I wanna abandon all rationality and create our own boundaries. I wanna become in tuned with the vibrations of each other's souls. Want you to climb so steeply within me that you can't find the way out of me. See I don't wanna make love, I wanna  create precious poetry. While breathing the same rhythm. You **** every stanza out of me. Two pair of eyes undivided, two bodies ***** vigorous, exuding of familiarity. Make a story out of me. Feed it descriptions of true beauty. Not shrewdly,  but do it smoothly. Let's co write a poem based on our union. We can be a masterpiece. Ink stains left in my bed sheets. I'll lend you my body to use as a diary. Release all frustrations as you lay your fervor out on me. Send a chill of suspense intensely towards the inside of my thighs, just where the margins would be. Our minds are deadly. Their correlation, deadlier. We're writing words so compelling, while releasing showers from hearts too heavy. Our poetry is nothing to compare to the regular. Every inch of my body manifesting your touch readily. I recede as you synchronize my private visions of a flawless fantasy. Basking in this radiance as you guide your pen to an astonishing ****** Inducing my body to impasse in ecstasy. Leaving me dripping with your artfulness. As if announcing all expectations surpassed. Drowning me in words that mirror ardor. Each line so passionate, I have no such memory of felicity that neither compares nor contrasts. Every part of my skin left sensitive, tender, and fragile. My body fluently floating, light as a feather. Skin now designed and decorated with such puissant letters. And God forbid we begin to forget the significance of our coalescence. You can lay me down, As you read it back to me. This way, we can reminisce on the angelic medley. Listen, I don't just wanna make love, I want our bodies to intertwine and invoke aesthetic  poetry.
0
Feb 20, 2013
Feb 20, 2013 at 4:37 AM UTC
Poetry
Listen, I wanna embrace a blanket of your sensuality. I wanna abandon all rationality and create our own boundaries. I wanna become in tuned with the vibrations of each other's souls. Want you to climb so steeply within me that you can't find the way out of me. See I don't wanna make love, I wanna  create precious poetry. While breathing the same rhythm. You **** every stanza out of me. Two pair of eyes undivided, two bodies ***** vigorous, exuding of familiarity. Make a story out of me. Feed it descriptions of true beauty. Not shrewdly,  but do it smoothly. Let's co write a poem based on our union. We can be a masterpiece. Ink stains left in my bed sheets. I'll lend you my body to use as a diary. Release all frustrations as you lay your fervor out on me. Send a chill of suspense intensely towards the inside of my thighs, just where the margins would be. Our minds are deadly. Their correlation, deadlier. We're writing words so compelling, while releasing showers from hearts too heavy. Our poetry is nothing to compare to the regular. Every inch of my body manifesting your touch readily. I recede as you synchronize my private visions of a flawless fantasy. Basking in this radiance as you guide your pen to an astonishing ****** Inducing my body to impasse in ecstasy. Leaving me dripping with your artfulness. As if announcing all expectations surpassed. Drowning me in words that mirror ardor. Each line so passionate, I have no such memory of felicity that neither compares nor contrasts. Every part of my skin left sensitive, tender, and fragile. My body fluently floating, light as a feather. Skin now designed and decorated with such puissant letters. And God forbid we begin to forget the significance of our coalescence. You can lay me down, As you read it back to me. This way, we can reminisce on the angelic medley. Listen, I don't just wanna make love, I want our bodies to intertwine and invoke aesthetic  poetry.
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42
{ impasse } Non action –again Under a dim sun I read the world and miss the encounter Di nuovo inazione Al sole fioco di lucerne leggo il mondo –e non t'incontro
0
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 4:37 AM UTC
Le Pendu
What he will give is the incipient  bare minimum of his heartbeat He’ll reveal just  the washed out clamoring of his  horded desire all because there would be nothing left in his own perception of a universe that may reduce his secret lust to nothing. implode like terrorists on the fantasy of his greatness yet to come… although we are born magnificent;  which then gets blinded out by all the hearsay of our original sin he won’t go too far with a notion of blissful ‘otherness’ nor squeeze too many lemons he’s got no room for confidence sugar stored on his empty shelf *however negative space can be a good thing* (he has heard) he’s dumbfounded when he wants more from someone and expects the best of their yet to be born mind reading abilities to: just understand who he is or “be gone I say!” …(hehehe) -writer could not help it- scathed in baby blisters by his choices so far... it was of course! all the: ****** babble of growing up in his _Family of origin_/original sin where he learned to swim so comfortably in precious Aloneness -----  -Aloofness- and  there he became more real than ever ---Ahh well...it’s the grand excuse for most of his life until he feels the scratch of his riotous ‘settling for’ is bleeding ****** ****** and then one day he looks in the mirror and a ghost like stroke (not yet manifested) spotlights his over bearing mind to feel what it has ~done did~ disconnected with deeds of the heart and foresight/manipulation for naught he then finds out his heart needed more than a cup of tea and a scone (mid 40's) he finds out his emotional impasse was so **** false  (almost 50) and that his lack of allowing others in was truly a waste of mental constructs (Solid 51) this I know like my own dry eyed nodding I was him (the now pleasure of hindsight... 55) but all the 'do right' stuff is cohesively on time all the contrast that created a calling for again and again   this leaning to love Linaji 2011
0
Nov 9, 2011
Nov 9, 2011 at 12:58 AM UTC
original sin
What he will give is the incipient  bare minimum of his heartbeat He’ll reveal just  the washed out clamoring of his  horded desire all because there would be nothing left in his own perception of a universe that may reduce his secret lust to nothing. implode like terrorists on the fantasy of his greatness yet to come… although we are born magnificent;  which then gets blinded out by all the hearsay of our original sin he won’t go too far with a notion of blissful ‘otherness’ nor squeeze too many lemons he’s got no room for confidence sugar stored on his empty shelf *however negative space can be a good thing* (he has heard) he’s dumbfounded when he wants more from someone and expects the best of their yet to be born mind reading abilities to: just understand who he is or “be gone I say!” …(hehehe) -writer could not help it- scathed in baby blisters by his choices so far... it was of course! all the: ****** babble of growing up in his _Family of origin_/original sin where he learned to swim so comfortably in precious Aloneness -----  -Aloofness- and  there he became more real than ever ---Ahh well...it’s the grand excuse for most of his life until he feels the scratch of his riotous ‘settling for’ is bleeding ****** ****** and then one day he looks in the mirror and a ghost like stroke (not yet manifested) spotlights his over bearing mind to feel what it has ~done did~ disconnected with deeds of the heart and foresight/manipulation for naught he then finds out his heart needed more than a cup of tea and a scone (mid 40's) he finds out his emotional impasse was so **** false  (almost 50) and that his lack of allowing others in was truly a waste of mental constructs (Solid 51) this I know like my own dry eyed nodding I was him (the now pleasure of hindsight... 55) but all the 'do right' stuff is cohesively on time all the contrast that created a calling for again and again   this leaning to love Linaji 2011
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58
the setting moon slips close to its watery grave and she finally appears walking slow carrying her broken shoes she says that the night jumped her and she had gotten lost in the vast differences between what she hoped and what the world always left her longing with tears spread from her still young innocent eyes i held her to reassure but as i wait for our fears to subside i see the lights approach of thouse who would claim lordship over her wallet and over her soul bankers of the material world doubling as demons from hells coldest corner no fleeing the version where you need to change batteries they are dead as the souls who manufacture them she slips a pair of double a's from her pocket rocket personal massage device and plugs her mind back into the need to get on with her day the moon has reached its last gasp and she has romanced her way out of her dress and you out of your noble intents we all reach this impasse with our pen and page having sold off our forward momentum for a desperado gamble at claiming that elusive perfect written word we flounder at waters edge unable to pull ourselfs back unable to manufacture method to crawl further we make mad dashes round and round the proverbial gallows pole hanging on a single idea or ideal trying to express it clearly it need not more clear than it is in mind's eye but her face lingers in your soul urging you you recapitulate your dire love to craft a better master plan for tearing yourself down the moon has reached its invisible zenith on the worlds opposite side and you have yet to reconcile your good natured laugh to her dark predictions she slips away again to seek her rightful place in her world view and you are the captain of your sinking rowboat once more sexton in hand plot your thoughts and row king james home the moon will rise soon and you need to be home when she comes in need of a hugs and a shoulder to weep on
0
Oct 12, 2013
Oct 12, 2013 at 1:25 PM UTC
dead batteries
the setting moon slips close to its watery grave and she finally appears walking slow carrying her broken shoes she says that the night jumped her and she had gotten lost in the vast differences between what she hoped and what the world always left her longing with tears spread from her still young innocent eyes i held her to reassure but as i wait for our fears to subside i see the lights approach of thouse who would claim lordship over her wallet and over her soul bankers of the material world doubling as demons from hells coldest corner no fleeing the version where you need to change batteries they are dead as the souls who manufacture them she slips a pair of double a's from her pocket rocket personal massage device and plugs her mind back into the need to get on with her day the moon has reached its last gasp and she has romanced her way out of her dress and you out of your noble intents we all reach this impasse with our pen and page having sold off our forward momentum for a desperado gamble at claiming that elusive perfect written word we flounder at waters edge unable to pull ourselfs back unable to manufacture method to crawl further we make mad dashes round and round the proverbial gallows pole hanging on a single idea or ideal trying to express it clearly it need not more clear than it is in mind's eye but her face lingers in your soul urging you you recapitulate your dire love to craft a better master plan for tearing yourself down the moon has reached its invisible zenith on the worlds opposite side and you have yet to reconcile your good natured laugh to her dark predictions she slips away again to seek her rightful place in her world view and you are the captain of your sinking rowboat once more sexton in hand plot your thoughts and row king james home the moon will rise soon and you need to be home when she comes in need of a hugs and a shoulder to weep on
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56
*The die is cast to die at last Envision the vast everlasting We live in the past too fast Forward-fast future impasse Intentions to pass and repass Notwithstanding Elusive are the ticks of tock That take place in the mind Marinating for meaning And a design to define in art Whether it be mind or it matter At an epoch that unlocks where life starts Present past, future tense Beginnings and endings Instantaneous events The secret of the clock Is that it can never count The mystery of the sands Remains on higher ground Wait a second, forever and a day Columns of sand pillars wasting away With a time well spent in thought Immortality and perpetuity Illusion of continuity Momentary lapses of universal ambiguity*
0
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 2:55 PM UTC
Extemporaneous Combustion (collaboration with Cné)
Forevers not a promise, It’s a fact. Although, my heart is hurting. And yes, it may be cracked. Every second that I’m near you, I’m on the mend. Distance is illusion, And so I play pretend. Before we arrived here, We made a pact. A lifelong journey, A soul contract. A story so grand, Through time and space on land. How could you have forgotten? We came here to expand. The healing of this nation, Relies on you and I. I plan to act this out, Before our bodies die. I’ve chosen this path and you along with it. I wish you’d stick it out, And fight to the finish. I’m ever so patient, I know you’re not ready. I’m giving you space And I’m keeping things steady. I’m not the enemy, But still you attack. It isn’t my fault, I possess what you lack. The whole point is to balance What’s alike and what’s different. You seek accountability, When we’re meant to produce it. I know that you’re not ready For this or for me, But we are right in the thick of this And I’m feeling lost at sea. You’ve done this to me many times, I know you can’t remember. I just have to re-walk this path. (We’ll touch base in December.) With everything I practice and everything you preach, I thought that you could figure out, what they sent me here to teach. I tried to exit this journey, But every time I do… The universe keeps pushing me Right back into you I’m growing quite weary So I’m letting God steer me I wanted to communicate, But fail to do so clearly I’m stuck at an impasse Because I am an empath I know I should be more assertive, Nice guys always finish last But with you there’s a soft spot It’ll be there forever I’m hoping that you’ll notice soon Better late than never You string me along I put it in a song I keep on fighting tooth and nail I always seem so strong My strength irritates many Who know not what I’ve been through But they pass their judgment as they see what I give into It’s been this way forever It’ll be forever more But nobody sees me When I’m crying on the floor I never let them see this side Because it is unpleasant I work so hard to heal myself And remain in the present I speak on what I’m thinking Without revealing much I write what I can’t speak about My journal is my crutch I keep the darkest parts in there So no one senses my despair The pain is there forever though And so you reap, so shall you sew Forevers not a promise It is a fact. You’ve shaken up the universe, Brace for impact.
0
Jun 3, 2023
Jun 3, 2023 at 12:33 AM UTC
Forever
Forevers not a promise, It’s a fact. Although, my heart is hurting. And yes, it may be cracked. Every second that I’m near you, I’m on the mend. Distance is illusion, And so I play pretend. Before we arrived here, We made a pact. A lifelong journey, A soul contract. A story so grand, Through time and space on land. How could you have forgotten? We came here to expand. The healing of this nation, Relies on you and I. I plan to act this out, Before our bodies die. I’ve chosen this path and you along with it. I wish you’d stick it out, And fight to the finish. I’m ever so patient, I know you’re not ready. I’m giving you space And I’m keeping things steady. I’m not the enemy, But still you attack. It isn’t my fault, I possess what you lack. The whole point is to balance What’s alike and what’s different. You seek accountability, When we’re meant to produce it. I know that you’re not ready For this or for me, But we are right in the thick of this And I’m feeling lost at sea. You’ve done this to me many times, I know you can’t remember. I just have to re-walk this path. (We’ll touch base in December.) With everything I practice and everything you preach, I thought that you could figure out, what they sent me here to teach. I tried to exit this journey, But every time I do… The universe keeps pushing me Right back into you I’m growing quite weary So I’m letting God steer me I wanted to communicate, But fail to do so clearly I’m stuck at an impasse Because I am an empath I know I should be more assertive, Nice guys always finish last But with you there’s a soft spot It’ll be there forever I’m hoping that you’ll notice soon Better late than never You string me along I put it in a song I keep on fighting tooth and nail I always seem so strong My strength irritates many Who know not what I’ve been through But they pass their judgment as they see what I give into It’s been this way forever It’ll be forever more But nobody sees me When I’m crying on the floor I never let them see this side Because it is unpleasant I work so hard to heal myself And remain in the present I speak on what I’m thinking Without revealing much I write what I can’t speak about My journal is my crutch I keep the darkest parts in there So no one senses my despair The pain is there forever though And so you reap, so shall you sew Forevers not a promise It is a fact. You’ve shaken up the universe, Brace for impact.
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89