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PEARL SMOKE Sep 2014
iJust Want To Escape From Reality once again.
Heartfull of Pain, Pipe Full of Magic
Im Having So Many
Racing Thoughts, wild emotions zoning i feel like
Im losing it Again, iwant Outs at this moment i want to
Scream "**** THIS" And Run Away again.  Icant cope
With this, its too much iwant to feel numb and forget.
PEARL SMOKE Sep 2014
**** *** Am iDoing
Making This Worse For My Self
iJust Begun
And Re Picked Up
This iS Were iT Starts.
Should Begin To Worry
iTs Way To Early!
Already On A Thin Line The Last Chapter iN My Life
till My Death Story.
iM Killing Me Slowly
By Taking This Substance.
My Times Ticking
My Hearts Beating
As iContinue To Use
More Like Abuse.
iCant Just Take
1 Line Or Smoke 1 Bowl
And Save The Rest.
iGo All About And Have To Do Every Last Bit.
Then iGo On Again To Finding A Way To Get More Of it
PEARL SMOKE Sep 2014
i Genuinely Just Cant Cope
With Recovery
iTurn into This Tearful pathetic
Mess and get more
depressed.
Krazie How One Thing
Can Change Your llife Forever
iTs Like iKnow All The Right
Things to do
To maintain sober
Ijust cant apply them To myself
PEARL SMOKE Sep 2014
iRun...
& iCant Seem To Get Away.
iTry Harder to
Escape.  
But iTs Still behind me, chasing.
iCant Stop To Catch Some
Air and rest
Its Quick and will get the best
Of me
iHide
Nomatter Whrre, it manages
To Find Me.
Im trying my hardest To get Away
And it always seems to get
Its way back to me
ICry About it
Whispers appear,
They turn into voices, remind me
Of how Much iHate life
And tells me if i stop and hold its
Hand it promises to take all
Misery away
Hannah Chin Oct 2018
deephate
lossand anguish
it all mixesinto onelargemess
somewords dont eventouch thisfeeling
myeyes areallout of tears and hanghalfclosed
or is it halfopen to you whofeel
myheart—does itevenbeat
hard totell
youcant know
whati befeeling
howcan you foolsunderstand
youwant tohelp then LEAVEMEALONE
theresnothing youcando
tosave mefromthis
pit
of
des-
pair
ilike theblack
ofthis smallroom
iusedto likepink
iwanted
tobe
apretty princess
andlive inacastle witha
kingso kind
butdreams dont
cometrue
learnthisnow
youfools
dreams
are
like
pa-
per
burni­ngin
theFLAMES
OFHELL
just
like
me
.
.
.
.
do
not
give up
myChild
I still loveyou
myChild
youvegone farther
than
rockbottom
butlisten
to
Me
listen
listenlisten
toMe
.
.
.
.
I
THOUGHT
I GOTRIDOF
YOU
HOWDARE YOU
COMEINTO
THIS
SOULOFMINE
LEAVEHER
ALONE
you are
so
alone
myfriend
cantyousee
noonecares about
you
theylie
when theysay
dothose fools
listentomee
tome
listen
to
me
.
.
.
.
thischaos
inside
ican­notcontrol
itatall
iwantto
SCREAMAND
SHOUTbut
icant
i wantto
crybut icant
letgo
of
me
setme
FREE
p
l
e
a
s
e
.
.
.
.
up
uplook
upMy
C­hild
iamnot faraway
letyourheart
beat
beat
beat
again
takemy hand
myChild
iwill
neverleave
younor forsake
you myChild
istill
love
you
.
.
.
.
is
that
alight
itsbeenso
dark for solong
imnot evensure what
lightlooks like
do i dareto hope
dare tolook
up
up
up
.
.
.
.
YOU
FOOL
thereis nolight
light doesnot exist
ithought youwould have
LEARNEDTHIS BY NOW
theonly waytogo is
down
down
down
.
.
.
.
here
iam
myChild
here i am
take my
hand
please dontlook
down
dontlook
down
i
still
loveyou
myChild
ido
i
do
.
.
­.
.
i
cant
lookdown
doi darelook up
amieven worthit
thelight
is
faint
butican
see
it
clear
as day
.
.
.
.
NO
YOUFOOL
you arenot worthy
you cannot hope
donteven try
hope
is
frail
youcant
trust
hope
.
.
.
.
i
surprise
myself
is­till
look up
ithink maybe
there is a littlehope
maybethere
is a little
hope
.
.
.
.
yes
myChild
there is hope
still look up and see
the light gets
bigger
warmer
see me here
I still love
you
myChild
I still love you
.
.
.
.
NO YOU FOOL
no you fool
no
you
fool
.
.
.
.
the
light
is warm
the light is
bright
i
like
the light
i like
the
light
.
.
.
.
no
dont leaveme
here alone
listen to me
one last
time
.
.
.
.
LEAVE
MYCHILD ALONE
myChild
you are
safe
here in
the
light
you are safe
here in the light
i still love you.
I originally wanted to write something about suicide but this came out in the end. This is about a battle that most people can't see. But it is a battle that goes on within all of us.
KnudsonK Apr 2016
I cant even try .
It makes me want to die.
I listen to you lie.
And I remember why.
Icant  have you in my life.
Your always causing strife.
Thats what makes you  HIGH.
Your always trying to pry,
And you manipulate my time.
Your always ******* with my mind.
I sit here and I cry....
I cant have this in my life.
I dont know how to say goodbye.
nesrine ben Oct 2013
If this life only gonna make me feel sad
If this life gonna show me only the dark side
If this life gonna bring me down
Sorry this is not me
I can't just go and hide
Sorry Icant surrender
I'm following the shining side
I was young
And everybody was so cruel
Everybody was so rude
I was so good just for their ego
I wanna change my life
I wanna leave so far far away
to a place where doors are open
AND NO ONE IS BROKEN
Ken Pepiton Jun 2021
Wage-slave, renter, debt-ower doer

of nothing now, but consumption
- I consume power
- I use power another might
- I listen to the news, I seldom read

I tried, I tried, said the tennis worker,
whose name caught my ear-
Stefanos Tsitsipas, sounds
like Sisyphus, my happy
reminder.

We push our way
to new places, or we may
pay our pointy gnosis snif ifery
attention to sign-if-icant curiosis
need, to know way to go. At tend to,
that, we all need that
one thing,
one needful thing, one thing
we do,
that none other may do, we
see one thing-   this is me, my bit of us,
we bubble with joy when doing this,
doing this, and that,
another doing that,
and, indeed, we do as we
see one thing…
form
a point to life, poetry, the mythic force.
Eustacy, joy's veritable power,

swells with a feeling now called pride.
Joy is not the pride that comes
before the fall.
Joy, heartfelt,
next-worldly joy, you know,
Joy bell bubbling soul joy,
sensational, subtle, so soft sometimes,

whispers wish wish wish
sweep away the first formed fear, now,

know the need to know
is not a treasure to be horded
omagod.. jagonnasayit jesu

save us, all the treasures, cried to the priest,
the host, cried out to Na'amah,
some tales tell,
is it true?

--maybe, but, it's a retell of a retold tale,
--In this story, Na'amah is Noah's wife,
-- she who bhor alone the knacks of Cain

--- live lyve liv e set free for future use
--- gibberish, you wish, but future use

telley-osis-echo-ist ping ping ping

scrub jay emphasizes, earth time, listen

there are maybes that never are,
scrub jay saying, here am I, there are you,
this is what we do.

-- then a breeze of if-I-knew asked me for a lift.
testing my will to be if not possible,...
T Mar 2018
The sun has been shining so bright
I know in my heart everything is so right
If anything goes wrong with this love
I know that it was not controlled by the lord above
The. Presence of my mind
For it was not unkind
For my will is strong and my love it is true
Why in the hell do I feel so blue
I know in the end it will all work out
I promise you baby I will not sit and pout
We both made a plan that we will sit and talk
Before we get mad and stand up and walk
I love you baby now and forever
Icant wait to spend the weekend together
90
i need to die before one of my cats die icant handle it
I mean I really try my hardest
But I still see you in lines in my books
And the endless stream of traffic in the grey light of the morning
And in my cereal
And my tv shows
And in every song
I'm walking down the street thinking of you
You're kind of a daydream yknow
Taking all my time
Total daydream *****
Gah okay the deficit is down.
Down.
Bad.
Up, i like when it's up.
Yeah that's what I want. The national deficit is ghaoshsadas down.
im so tired
i need me a ****** drink
im so unspired
i need me a goodgood think
altho im so tired
i'll put my face in the sink
and wonder what'll happen
if it starts to go schlink
clink wink link tink rink ink nink kink stink
me so hungry, me so chappy
tired tired wooooodooowoooooooooooooooo
im ready im ready im readyoooooooooooooooo
im ready im ready im readyoooooooooooooooo
im ready im ready im readyoooooooooooooooo
im ready im ready im readyoooooooooooooooo
im ready im ready im readoooooooooooooooo
im ready im oooooooooooooooo
im ready im ready im readyready im readyy

the electric spanking of war babies
im made im ma im literally made of cheese right now i can
icant even explain the euphoria im just pure cheese my word
Delton Peele Oct 2020
Ok dinnng..........Ding .........
da . da .  Ding...da da DInga dada DINgaah daDINGAAH AHH
(SHHH FLASH back. Uhhhh hey Kid .......
Look at me HEY...alright? Huh ? Uh?.ukay LISTEN
WEALLL KNOW he cheated and payed off everybody
Ur wife , coach,the ref .everybody.
A. A. Aaerrybudy. A aerrubuddy........aherrrybuhdhyyy.................)
BINK .UYHHH BIBINK OOH. YAH. IMA TAKE MY TIME WID YOU #bi bibibiBINK#
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF PAIN BOY
#!#!÷WHAAAM÷!#!#.... a..a.aAAM!!!!!a..a..am .......a.a.am
Bink
(Errybody .....I know how bad it hurtcha kid....
I greased every palm ...signed everything away raised every petition .....aneven. Commited a few unmentionables.
Im sorry Kid.
I did everything i could do to get you a rematch ...
ALLERGIES KID......whawd Um ..um...A.
AWE GEEEZ YA GOT ME CRYIN HERE.
SHUD UUP .....UPP.     UPPP)
Up on his feet again folks ....
Hey Jim. ..I take my hat off ...
After a contraversial drawn out fight im sure we alll remember.
The golden boy at his prime beatin and left for dead in the ally 2 days before his first title fight
I gotta tell ya.  I didnt think id ever see him in the ring again .let alone face the champ again ...an uh ..uh ..i need. A moment jim ....icant ...uh.    Uh.
Uppercut ...and the kids stunned.......
Und......unnd...undun n n
(Understand what im sayin Kid ?
Nobody said you wuz gunna get ta fight
Me an the boyz tried our hardest
That s the thing
Whys  im cryin here Kid
This title fight that you wanted so bad
We couldnt get you..........
Kid....no .matter nuthin at the end of this day
YOU ARE TA US THE CHA.PION OF THE WORLD
AN NUTHINS GUNNA TAKES IT AWAY.
I luv ya Kid .....its youre big night
An you......You earned it
You.....THIS FIGHT YOU EARNED .NOT ME NOT NOBODY BUT YOU ....
I M AT YOUR FEET IN AWE
YOUR DA MOST AMAZIN THING I.   ...
.AM .......JUST SO PROUD TO BE.  ...  ..
YA KNOW.   KNOW ....?KNOW ......KNOW.......)
OH the kid comes back an the crowds on there feet
Look at em go.......ohhhhh the kids taunting the champ
dddddd dinnint
Think think ink ink..ink...ink.....ink.............ink......
(Sigh .........shhhhh. .....bring it ....mmuuuhafukin)
Oooooooh nice swing ......doez it come in a menz size too?
Awe you doo remember me ee-e-eeeea..e-eeeea....e-eeeeaaahhh
(Shhhhh back pedal a little juke left bob bob bob right
Thats it thats it....keep yur. F.ffffff n gloves up ....hes head huntin)
STICK TA DEFENSE KID!
( CODE.      I GOT IT COACH.     MY Q......
Shhh bring iit to me big boy )
The kids stunned again he s just tryin to stay up right
The champs almost steppin on his toes

Toes.     Oes.   Oes.   Oes ..oes
(Over to the left bob bob bob ....he took the bait round house. Incoming .........the no no
Faaaaaaaaaaaade back hard all the way .....way back inta the ropez.    Push back *** hard *** you can till you run outa spring. Then you dig your toes inta the canvas as deep as they can go swing as hard azyou can let the rope sling shot ya and jump straight through to tomorrow Oh Oh OH OH )
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
K.O.HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH­HHHH
THE KIDS MANAGERS IN THE RING
OHHHHHHHHHHH
HES HOLDIN THE KID.        
I CANT SPEAK......................I CANT.........
OHHHHHHH MY ................
OHHHHHHMY ............
I CANT BELIEVE IT.        
HE S NOT MOVING ........I DONT THINK HES BREATHING......................
MEDICS CANT GET TO HIM ..........OHHHHHHH
I CANT BELIEVE
EVERY BODY TOLD HIM HED NEVER FIGHT AGAIN
HE DIDNT LISTEN
OHHHHHHH IM.       ...... THEY SAID IF YOU FIGHT AGAIN.   ......YOU WO.........AN HE JUST WANTED TO
THIS WAS WHAT HE WAS A FIGHTER
NOW HES CHAMPION OF THE WORLD.    
THE CHAMP IS BEEING TAKIN OUT ON A GERNY
THE KID WONT LET GO OF HIS COACH...
AND THE KID WONT TAKE THE BELT


OOOH HES GIVIN IT TO HIS COACH
I LOST my mom 10 years ago to non small lung cancer .....the greatest friend .woman.mentor and mother i could ever imagine it was a tough year and a half. She cried once .i bathed her cooked and cleaned ....she lived with me that while ......hardly slept .......an hour bout everythree days
She had a heart atack.  3 Am.    I was v
Gonna call another ambulance. For the emt's
I was gonna beat the brakes offn em
I was so in the wrong on that one ..sorry. My bad
Had to decline the surgery which meant shed probly be gone by the end of the week .i woke her up to tell her she said .......on to the next eppisode.....bout 6 months late 75 prescrption meds admin by me every day ..........they ............
Geezed her up with.      Phenole barbitol..... and .......and ......after that she couldnt hear anything i had to say.   And she ......she ...hardly moved ..at all. ...she died in my arms the next night ......my queen my champion my everything. On our favorite holliday .....new years eve.......it was the best thing i had done with my life and the best and worst year of my life and the beginning of the end of me........now that disease .........my most hatred muse is on my doorstep again ........trying to ****** my loving father the same way........so this is a metaphor for how i daydream it would be this time round thank you for reading
.and no matter what life throws at you .....take the time for whats real stay in touch and tell em. ........i love you

Tell em i love you
Tell em i love you
M iloveyou
Iloveyou
Iloveyou

— The End —