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Ravenclaw:
The intelligent ones
For those who may be missing a few screws
Or are like no one else you have ever met

Hufflepuff:
The amicable ones
For those who aren't afraid to work hard
Or would give $100 to the homeless

Slytherin:
The cunning ones
For those who will do anything to achieve their goals
Or are willing to do anything to protect what is theirs

Gryffindor:
The brave ones
For those who will never give up
Or laugh in the face of terror

Where shall you go?
I'm a Gryffindor. What are you?
AavelinaJaden May 2014
Rest in peace to all the brave gryffindors
The courageous ones with hearts that soar
Rest in peace to all the smart ravenclaws
You left this generation in intelligent awe
Rest in peace to all the clever slytherin
without you, many of us wouldn't grin
Rest in peace to all the kind hufflepuff
I know our journey was tough

Avada kedavra to the other sort
Crucio on voldermort
imperious on the non deluxe
Destroy all of the horcrux

Shortlived were the cohorts
That tried to defeat hogwarts

we thank you
The death of fictional characters will always outweigh reality.
Amelie Jan 2013
Oh you may not think I’m pretty,
But don’t judge on what you see,
I’ll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I’m the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.

There’s nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can’t see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
if you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don’t be afraid!
And don’t get in a flap!
You’re in safe hands (though I have none)
For I’m a Thinking Cap!
harry potter fandom
Brycical Sep 2013
For years I've been trying to write
something that would cause the earth to shake--
maybe even slightly tip it off its axis.
Not because it possesses any eloquent grandeur
with words like "cataclysm" or "surreptitious"
nor due to any celeb-ritory status
that may befall my unkempt and ghostly pale person.

                      I just want people to think!

From the moment most of us
are pushed from our mother's dark, watery womb
it's like we're given a hardhat and a pick,
then told to find some gold in the mine
because if you want to keep working in the mine
you have to pay
and then as we try to explain that we're uneducated about mining
because we were just birthed we are told not to worry
because there are teachers who will educate us about the mine
and every so many days we're tested on what we learned about the mine
all the while being told to forget not about the gold in the mine
and sometimes we get a little tired or bored of looking for gold
so we're given a book to read about some guy named Mr. Brahmallah Siddhartahweh Christ
along with a few cigarettes, beer and lunch meat to relax
for a few minutes before it's time to get back to work to look for gold in the mine
to pay to look for gold in the mine
and lord help you if you can't pay to work in the mine because you need to work in the mine
to work in the mine.

                                                      Confused?­ That's the point...
Now, the metaphor above is a crude illustration
of what I'm talking about,
but I have confidence you understand what's gnawing at me,
AND what should be at you too.

                     Where is there time to think??

Even in scientific and philosophical occupations
there isn't much thinking these days.
Many take science as law
the same way extreme, right wingers from any religion
take their "religious doctrine" as law.
Our politics, technology and even reading is polluted
with derision and division into different schools of thought
from a Conservative Team Edward Apple supporting Griffendor Christian
to a Liberal Hufflepuff PC using Team Jacob Buddhist.
Now I understand why all these new agers
keep referencing The Matrix.

                           WHAT IS REAL!?
That must be a decent explanation as why people go insane;
suffocating on all the weighty labels
forcefully pinned to their soul.

And yet...
more people, like me,
are desperately clawing away at these labels,
attempting to find a little fresh air,
perhaps filled with the smell of paint,
graphite, charcoal, clay, **** and natural body pheromones
while sounds of music, chanting, cheers, sobbing, silence, giggling and *******
echo in the breathing room
as we feel the grass beneath our feet, wind matriculating through our hair, another warm and loving body embracing ours with cool water trickling down our backs...
People like me
wishing to be metaphorically, figuratively, theologically and psychologically digambara  
subconsciously evolving from sadhu to avadhuta
          preaching anekantavada
           while simultaneously revealing it all stems from ONE!

But...
many of us are caught in a dilemma best expressed by E.B. White:

[Arising] in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world, [making] it hard to plan the day.

These days, to the masses working in the mine,
if you're trying to improve the world you're a kook or a traitor,
just ask the SnowMannings.
If you try enjoying the world you're labeled lazy.
We all just want to be       FREE!!

Of course, Bill Hicks once said,
If you think you're free, trying going somewhere without ******* money.  

And when you THINK about that,
you start to get confused, right?
Maybe your head starts to hurt, right?
Because when you THINK about that,
and all the supposed enlightened people
from Siddhārtha Gautama who resigned from his royal trappings
to Yeshua HaNotzri who renounced material possessions with a needle
while the passive warrior Mahatma Gandhi thought western civilization a good idea.

Why are most children discouraged from being artists, farmers and the next far out thinkers?
Because      there’s        no          money        in         ­ it!  
Again, we’re back in the mine looking for gold.
But what would happen if you stopped?
What would happen if you got in the mine cart and said “**** it,”
then went careening down the shaft,
whirling and twirling faster and faster enjoying the ride!

But now I’m positioned in another quandary;
                       SOLUTIONS!  

While people like myself may have a few ideas
I think they are impossible to share at the moment
Because the majority of the population is too lazy
and complacent to do anything.
First we need to awaken!
First we have to get mad like Howard Beale!
We have to collectively reject the current frequency
and do like Tim Leary where we “turn on, tune in and drop out.”

Ok,
Let’s take five,
maybe more.
And when we reunite
let’s hash out some solutions,
**** out what does and doesn’t work.
If you like this, please share.
Ashwin Kumar Jun 2023
You are seen as weird
People often call you "Loony"
But they couldn't be more wrong
Yes, you are indeed different
But then, every individual is unique
And I like you as you are
With all your pros and cons
Yes, you may believe in things
Which do not really exist
But then, who doesn't?
What truly matters
Is the fact that you are a beautiful human being
With a heart of gold
Who doesn't judge anyone
Sees people as they are
Doesn't shy away from speaking uncomfortable truths
Is modest to a fault
And last but not the least
Values friendship above everything else
You know, I can relate to you
I am also different
And got bullied for that
Just as you did
However, your mental strength is remarkable
After losing your mother at a very young age
That too due to a freak accident
You have shown the courage and fortitude
Not to mention, resilience and tenacity
To carry on with your life
Do your best to excel at magic
Display the natural curiosity and aptitude for learning
Which is expected of every Ravenclaw
Develop and sustain friendships
And finally, put your life on the line
In order to try and make the world a better place for all
You are not only a true Ravenclaw
But also possess the courage, nerve and daring of a Gryffindor
And the loyalty and sense of justice of a Hufflepuff
You only lack the cunning and ambition of a Slytherin
Not to mention, you were kidnapped and held hostage by Death Eaters
That too for a few months
And somehow emerged almost unscathed
After such a traumatic experience
You really are an incredible witch
Please remain the way you are
No matter what people say
And I will be a fan of yours
Until, as Neville would say, "Hell freezes over"
One of my favourite Harry Potter characters
Jeett Ratadia Feb 2017
Hats and Hooves and Humming Birds,
Moulded cheese and strawberry Nerds,
Oh, Good Gracious Paper,
You are this poems maker,

The Lion kills, Gryffindor's dead,
the snake bites him, Slytherin lies on the bed,
The Raven caws, Ravenclaw is upset
The badger has a cold, 'Hufflepuff takes him to the vet."

"I am the Lord of the Rings", Says Mr.Frodo
Then Sauron comes out from Mordor
Gollum Screams, "Smeagol the Lord."
Boromir kills Saruman, using a sword

All ends bad, as is bad
Denethor in his house goes mad,
he burns himself and leaves Gondor sad,
Bilbo beats the old took, all because of that footpad

There is havoc, everywhere
Voldemort challenges Sauron to a dare,
Voldemort has the Elder wand,
Sauron wields the ring and jumps into a pond

They duel right there, wand and ring,
Sauron things Voldemort's a dumb thing,
Sauron wins and Voldemort flees
then Sauron boasts about his good deeds

harry's happy but Frodo's sad
and Bilbo is weeping over his lad,
Sams works for Sauron's evil garden,
and pippin lives in a barn with a hen

thank you, oh paper,
This funny poems maker,
unfortunately, I didn't write this poem on you,
I wrote it on a computer screen, nanana poopoo
Eleanor Webster Sep 2017
I never was a Gryffindor, I said.
Not for me the bravado of the every day,
The martyrdom of intersecting a bullets path
In fact, I did disdain of that reckless abandon.
I understood the slytherins and ravenclaws outwitting the shooter Before he shot
But whoever said you'd meet a hufflepuff in heaven was wrong,
Lord knows I wouldn't jump in front of a bullet for you
But I'd pull us both out the way.

I never was a Gryffindor, I said.
Not for me the pomp and prance of the self-assured, self-entitled Gryffindor,
In fact, I felt at home in any other house.
Ravenclaws do speak the truth, possess originality,
And slytherins are more trustworthy than you'd suspect.

I never was a Gryffindor, I said.
But there's a certain bravery in dancing on your own like everyone's Watching,
Because they are,
They're all watching you, some disdainful,
Some with humour in their eyes,
Some with their cameras out:
I winked at one, and stuck my middle fingers up at the other,
Because I look happier than anyone else in the crowd
And I'm with my friends
And God I love my friends
And God knows when our song comes on I'm going to scream it at The top of my lungs.
And soon we'd collapse but I said no
Dance like the world will end if you stop
Because it will
Because the glory will fade
Because they don't understand
This isn't a dance, it's a victory march
Showing everyone here
That I have dealt with their smirks and their cameras
And I have survived.
And I am unstoppable now.
Maybe I am a little bit Gryffindor, I thought, and smiled.
This is the first poem I ever wrote, so please be gentle! Context: I was about sixteen at a summer festival and me and my friends were essentially the only people dancing, so we got some funny looks; this kinda captures the Zeitgeist of a completely content and socially at ease me. This is a poem about self-acceptance and ignoring the judgement of others. Also Hogwarts houses. #hufflepuff4lyfe
Hannah Marie Nov 2020
I find
I do not know
what to think

Despite thinking,
A contradiction I know,
That I know my own mind

I am a walking contradiction
I’m pretty but I’m not
I’m thin but I’m not
I’m happy but I’m not

I’m a filthy halfbreed
The in-between
Half Slytherin, half Hufflepuff
Wondering where it all went wrong

It didn’t go wrong, as such
But perhaps just awry

I’m wondering how
I found myself here

Nice boyfriend
Nice parents
Nice life
Boring, but nice

How did I find myself
Being bored all the time?

I’m thoroughly capable
But a perfectionist too
If I can’t do it first time
It goes on the pile
Of things I can’t do

I expect
One day
I’ll get over this phase
But it could just be
The way that I am

Nice, but boring
Not good at much
But not bad at much
average, standard, middling

I’m stuck in the middle
With no way
Up or down
we're back on this ******* babeyyy
Rich Hues Apr 2019
He wanted to be an aryan
But wasn't blond enough,
While her lifetime ambition was to be,
Head prefect of Hufflepuff.
He'd never spoken to a girl
He was a beta, not a chad,
And her limited conversation,
Consisted of "Orange man bad"
And having given up on her boyfriends,
She sat on her ******* a lot
Whereas he was a virgineous incel,
If you didn't count his weebo sexbot.

Their relationship wasn't one,
You could describe as "love at first sight",
Because they hooked up with each other on Twitter,
Where they loved to fight together at night.
Note:  I based the 'He'  character on myself and Juliet is my imaginary waifu.  RH.
MuseumofMax Dec 2021
Lemon boy

Tuesdays on my mind
Walking through my brain
I feel insane

Are you thinking of me?
I can feel it
Your manifestations are immense
But I’m intense
Are you ready to handle me?
I’m not sure
I’m a witch and a bit of a *****
Biking isn’t always so easy
When you’re climbing uphill

I don’t need your protection
I just need your energy
But I still want to hold your hand
I’m in a girl band

I think we have synergy ?

You’re the Tyler to my creator
I’m the Thumbalina to your daddy issues

I’ve been listening to my instincts
Watching the signs and feeling my tics

They’re pointing to you
I guess it’s a clue?

I’m trying hard to show you,
What we can be
Will you accept or will you disagree?

Honestly whichever is ok
I just wanna stay around you

Hope you do too?

Did you you know I’m a Hufflepuff
I think you’re a Slytherin

You’ve got the brains, I’ve got the sass
Not to mention a pretty good ***

Keep trying with me
I know it’s tiring

But you’re breaking down walls
And it’s exciting

I’m enjoying this
Whatever it is

Is that ok?

I don’t see the issue
But let me know if you can’t handle it

One hand on my ****
The other on my neck

That’s right I’m freaky
Let’s get *****

I don’t want to ruin this but I don’t think that’s possible
You kinda make my heart feel full

I’m not used to this, this fast
But with you it feels like a blast

I still need breaks and late night walks
But if you wanna come along I don’t mind
Never know what you might find?

I keep thinking I’m done
But turns out I’ve just begun

Didn’t want love but it wanted me
You’re nice and I like your face
Do you like mine?

I know I’m a bit clueless
It might appear foolish

But I’m actually pretty cool
Let’s ride the waves
One day at time
Till the end of this rhyme

I’m not done yet
Almost there but not quite

Hold my hand when I need it
But don’t hold me back

The Ari to my Miller
My psychological thriller

It’s scary but good
Scary good?

I know what it’s like to deal with ****
I can take it but I don’t like it

Time to evacuate
Separate from the past
And start moving on
If you wanna come along,
I don’t mind

I see you’re hurting
I don’t mind learning
I’m a good listener

You’ve grown I can tell
But so have I
Let’s keep growing together?

……………………………………………

What a cruel world we live in

With you it doesn’t feel so bad
Why are you so sad?
A note to a friend who could be more?
Cassie May 2019
Here is my story,
Since elementary.
A girl who went threw, so many tragedies.

I started kindergarten,
Then no one was picking on me.
But after first grade,
There was just way too many.

I missed all my friends,
But I made Some at Delta.
I came back to that same school,
Then I started to get picked on.

They called me names,
at that age I ignored.
Until in seventh grade,
they started calling me a ****.

I  started dating,
I was only exploring
i found this boy,
Turned out he was a *******.

He's a Hufflepuff.
he can be cute and sweet,
then the anger filled him with rage.

He started to blame me for his own problems,
he hit me,
he punched me,
he scratched me,
he called me names,
and then i started to listen to his words.

After the last abusive attempt,
I said I'm done, but my best friend had to break up with him for me,
because I was afraid he was going to hit me.

I finally got out of this relationship,
I felt free,
and I finally felt like I wasn't tied down anymore.

And while all this is physical and mental abuse what's going on,
everyone was saying that I was sleeping with him,
I was pregnant by him,
calling me stupid for dating him,
which I kind of am stupid for dating him,
but I'm glad I got out of that relationship when I did.

Also while this was going on
my parents were fighting every single day
and my Mom finally handed my dad the divorce papers
and said that she's done so they got a divorce.

Also why this was going on,
I had to get surgery to get my gallbladder out,
even though I was only 13

Fast forward to now,
I have an amazing boyfriend,
my family situation is better,
my gallbladder incisions are healed,
and my depression is at Bay,

I still have nights where I can't sleep,
but I get through them because
I know that I will have a brighter day the next day.
TheKindling Jul 2021
Label me as you please:

Virgo.
Hufflepuff.
ENFP.
Liberal.
Democrat.

All of these are wrong.
I’m actually just
Broken.
Ashwin Kumar Sep 2023
What's life without a role model?
A Slytherin without ambition
A Hufflepuff without loyalty
A Ravenclaw without curiosity
And finally
A Gryffindor without courage

All of us have role models
Well, maybe not those poor souls
Who aim to achieve as much in their lives
As have done Bermuda
When it comest to cricket

Well, I know I will be asked
Who is my role model?
It is the one and only Harris Jayaraj
A musician who produces magic
Which sweeps you off your feet
And transports you into a whole new universe
Where all your dreams come true
And every unhappy memory of yours vanishes
With just a lazy flick of his wand
A wand that can be bested not
Even by the legendary Elder Wand

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
The key that unlockest the door
Beyond which, lies my true potential

The sheer variety of music
Which lies in your repertoire
Doth make proud
Even a Hans Zimmer or a John Williams
Therefore, it cometh not as a surprise
That one of them is your idol

Everyone heaps a ton of praises
On your captivating melodies
Which, of course, is thoroughly well deserved
However, it is your background music
Which, according to me, is the gamechanger
Because it doth transform even the most boring movies
Into a spectacle of entertainment
Recall the famous India vs Australia Test match
At Eden Gardens, Kolkata, circa 2001
From a certain innings defeat
To a glorious victory
Was a transformation par excellence
Thanks to the sheer magic produced by three people
For whom the word "impossible"
Doth not exist in the dictionary
Thou hadst achieved the same
With a snooze fest of a movie, known as "Vaaranam Aayiram"
Thy BGMs playing the role of the Pied Piper of Hamelin
A movie that deserved to be a flop
Ended up becoming a hit
Thanks to Harris, the one man army

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
Not because you have achieved many a success
But because you give up not
In the event of a failure
And even that has happened not
For want of trying

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
Even if your fame has reached the mighty skies
The word "pride" doth not exist in your dictionary
Your greatness truly lies
In your sheer simplicity
Not to mention, your acute awareness
Of yours strengths and weaknesses

Dear Harris Sir,
You are an inspiration
Not only to me
But also to millions of aspiring artists
Because there is so much to learn from you
And it is not all about music
Your hard work and dedication
As well as your willingness to learn
And keep on learning
No matter how far you have progressed in life
Sets an example for all of us
I would like to end on this note
Once a Harris fan, always a Harris fan!
Poem dedicated to the inspiration of my life - music composer Harris Jayaraj.
Nadia Oct 2019
In this wondrous world of ours,
What if kind was enough;
What if we all wanted
To be sorted into Hufflepuff;
What if compassion counted
Far more than being right,
More than being the best;
What if, in kindness we unite


NCL October 2019
Brandon Apr 2021
Jabberwocky hip hop doo ***
It don’t stop
Til the Hufflepuff huffs and puffs
And shatters the glass slipper
Watch your step on yellow brick
It may be the same advice for yellow snow
Don’t you know
If you tip the magic hat
The rabbit will jump out and hippity hoppity
To a late, very important date
With a snake offering an apple
To the fairest one in the land
Take a bite, it will be alright
You’ll see things so far out of sight
Just one bite will take you higher
Another bite might be like dancing with a sprite all night
Oh the things you’ll see and oh the things you’ll do
If you listen to my advice
And dance the jiggly jig
Of the jabberwocky hip hop doo ***
Poetess
Hufflepuff
Christian
Coffee addict
She loves like romance is a bad habit

Female
Friend
Wife
Advocate for choice
She plays not to win but to enjoy

Honest
Open
Forever on the outside
Brave
She'll linger in your vision even when she walks away
she will linger in your vision
Classy J Nov 2023
Sliding, huff and puff, just minding;
My own, getting high ain’t nothing;
Till it’s something, like momma when she see me mumbling off.
Under the tongue, thinking I’m sly enough.
Till I meets them ***** cuffs, that smack down, **** gets rough.
But I ain’t no hufflepuff, i’m a man, and my experiences helped me understand.
How to work them cards in my hand.
Gotta to fake it to you make kid,
In other words this **** is a scam.
Gotta avoid the beats that turns into the heat of the man.
Yeah that, Red and blue that’ll turn you black and blue;
Cause they don’t hold back unlike your old mam.
And prison ain’t no better, get tagged, then leave with a gun and lives in your hand.
But by then will ya even give a ****?
Uh!
Like the window to my soul, step back and watch me juxtapose.
Got break through this pane, the shackles left, raw and exposed.
Cause I Couldn’t cut it any closer if I chose.
Just Reaping what I sowed, as the reapers coming close.
I will never show, I will never slow, when I come face to face with my foes!
Cause Being Steadfast is all I know!

Steady hustlings all I know.
It’s all I know, it’s all I know.
Making something outta nothing;
Man that’s how I roll, that’s how I roll.
Real recognize real that’s how it goes!

Ride or die, steady hustlings all I know.
It’s all I know, it’s all know.
Making something outta nothing;
Man that’s how I roll, that’s how I roll.
Real recognize real that’s how it goes!

— The End —