You didn’t even call...yet
I told on Monday how I’d only had a couple days till I was gone.
But that wasn’t enough for you
I’d have to be dying in order for you to call
Little do you know I am, it’s why I must leave this place that is killing me slowly.
But I still have hope
A dream
You’ll be standing there at the end of the aisle right before I  board.
I will drop my bags and run as fast as I can into you
You’ll be the excuse I’ve been looking for to stay
But the reality is
You’re the excuse that makes me have to leave.
Your silence screams leave more than goodbye
GreenTrees Aug 2017
Sand castles drifting into the wayward sea.
As the last tower falls I feel complete.

My spirit escaping to unknown shores...

© Karl V. (2017)
Pagan Paul Jun 26
.
Uplifting shift
     caressing the sky,
taking pleasure
from freedom
          on the wing,
lost in blue
facing the sun,
a safety
over azure waters
     in flux,
a birds eye view
          marking horizons,
viewing a serene world,
     gliding
at a hundred miles an hour,
     floating
faster on thermals of air,
warmth pervading a span
and more,
               soaring with the care
of nothing.



© Pagan Paul (26/06/18)
.
Sun God shine on me;
Every hour I darken your alter,
with thoughts of loving you in my prayers.


Sun God shine on me;
You  bless me with your company,
And I bask in its radiance.


Sun God shine on me;
In your church,
I am the most loyal devotee.

Sun God shine on me;
For if you are the sun,
I am the moon dancing in the sky alongside you.

Sun God shine on me;
Because if you do,
Baby I will shine for you.
Lexie 4d
What could I say that would change your mind?
Would it be easier to tie a string to the moon and pull it to earth?
Still I speak into the unknown
My own voice, in solitude, returns to me
Though not as it was when she left
I have had days where words have bubbled out of my mouth as quickly as the regrets could follow
Days also, where not a word could be pulled; by any hand or persuasion, through teeth gnashing in my mouth

Silence she is a queen
Though she does not always sit upon her throne

It seems my mind, these days, has to many pages, but none to turn them like wheels in a stream
This ache in me eats away at rest and resolution
Soon she will go hungry
And I can feed her naught but contempt and dry, empty, hopes
Oh that you would come to me
In any hour of the sun
Find me as I am
And speak to me as such;
One whom you have missed in the abundance of a field, flooded in Spring, only so that the bounty of the harvest would be overflowing

Find no fault in me
As I find no lack in you
Joliver 6d
Chapter 18 is coming to a close soon
And with it comes
The beginning of the next
Featuring a new setting
New characters
And new potential for growth

When I think of the novel of my life
And how short a story it could have been
And how the main characters
Have changed over the years
I always end up
Back in study hall
During lonely chapters 15 and 16
And think of how
The only thing I studied
In that hour and a half every week
Was a dark hallway in my mind
Where each door I opened
Lining the walls on either side
Held the darkest thoughts of my life
Thoughts of how I could end it
All too soon
My study hall was filled with studying
All the ways I wished I could just stop breathing
And when I look back on it now
All I think of
Is how the one person who was there for me
Can't stand me
Because I was a mistake
Our two years together was a mistake
She says
And I don't want to believe it's true
But deep down I think I was a mistake too
And my own parents didn't notice
The numb machine their son had become
But they get worried when I stop talking to them now
Because I realized that I have nothing to say
To the people I share a home with
Because they
Know nothing about me
And the person I've become
But they try to enforce
Their irrelevant morals
While invading my privacy
And destroying any trust
I can't wait to get out of this house
And for someone to finally tell me
That I can breathe
Because
I am suffocating

Whenever I try
To reach out to the people who raised me
I am always
Always
Always
Reminded of why I don't
I reached critical mass the other day
Finally had enough
Of the way my brain works
Like a broken record
Playing nothing but white noise
And reached out to get the help
That I can't provide myself
And they swatted my hand away
And gave me a band-aid
In the form of a five minute talk
To cover a wound
A lifetime long
That I have been trying
To stitch together
On my own
For years

But it's fine
In the classical story arc every character
Faces hurdles along the way
And soon the next chapter of my life will begin
Just please
Won't someone
Just tell me that I can breathe?
I can't wait to start college...
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