there are yellow spots in my vision
i should porbably lie down
^probably
“porbably”
hee hee
then do
:P
fine, i shall
hmph >:
…
…
…
…
where were you yesterday anyway?
you’re back?
yeah
but, anyway,
??
oh you know, out and
stuff
stuff?
yeah
what stuff?
just
…
?
revisiting that place
by the park
where those trees overhang the river
that we used to climb as kids
oh.
when our mums met to chat after work
yeah.
i’m not sure why
it felt like we were venturing towards something
we won if we ever got to the top
i know.
i was there.
sorry
and then that day..
my brother won.
yeah.
and the branch..
yeah.
….
can we talk about something else?
yeah, sorry
it’s just…
i’ve been feeling that way a lot lately
what?
that i’ve been striving towards something,
but that in spite the yearning,
all it leads too is
snap, crack, gone?
yeah
...you’re really comparing your ennui to the death of my sibling?
you ******* degenerate.
stop ******* complaining
get a ******* job.
sorry, sorry
…
i didn’t mean-
no, it’s fine.
i know the feeling tbh
but i still resent the comparison
yeah no,
yeah,
fair.
why were you there anyway?
i mean, it’s a nice park
they put a plaque under the tree, you know
yeah, i know
it’s what happens when your mum knows the councilman
what did it say again?
that’s the thing
i mean, there Used to be words there
Used to be?
did it fade?
no,
i mean, there’s still symbols
bound into rows
and such
and such?
but
they became unglued
unglued?
the thing that makes symbols words,
ran out
ran out?
yeah,
t͚̺͗̿̽̀̀͢h̨̖͇̫̳̹̿̏̄̂̄ḗ̜̜͈͇͕̘̓͒ ̴͕̂̆͒̓̀͘ŗ̳͔̩̭̈ͭ̾͝ẻ̛̌ͨ̽ͫ҉̳̞͓̪̕f̼̹̞̠̟̫̉̆̋̆̋ẹ̸͇̬̩̗̻̆̔͝r̺͖̿ͣ̒͊̅ͤȩ̷̲̣̝ͨņ̗̼̞̰̥̿̓͆ͥͫ͟c̨̛̪͇̗͇͚̤͑͒̑̃ͥͮ̃̀̀ë́̍͑̈͗҉͓͖̰̖̯̗͉͔̭͝,͔̬ͦ̊͊̾͘ ̵̸͙̼̣̮̩ͨͫͧ̀ͥ͋c̦͓̯ͤͩ̀̓o̵͚̫̠ͥ̍͐̾͂͘͡r̡̮̱̠̟̼̖̗ͤ͑̓̎ͯ̽̎ͮͦ͠r̷͖̰̞̭̰̩̩͖̯͗͒̊͜ẹ̺͒͐ͯ̈̇͂͗̇͘ș̸̼̹͔ͫ̇ͦͩ̾̎͝p̴͉̰͈ͣ̓̂͂ͭͪ̏ơ̶̭̝͔͚̭̻̟͕̼̅ͪͭͥ͛͋ͪͦ͗n̰̘̲̯̠̺̜͐̇́͜d̝̼̋͒ͨě̯̅͟͠n̢͙͗ͯ̊͋̾̊ͯͬ̐c͊̽̇ͅe̪̜̫̎̃ͤͨ͘͢,̶͉̼̹̥̙͎̻̜̈́̐̄͒ͮ̓̇͂̽
̡̗͔͎̟̦̝͖̝̲̍ͣ͗ͤ ̡̬̯̰̦̘̈ͯ̉͗ ̴͎̠̈́̋ͭ ̛͚͚͖͓̿ͤ͞ ̦̺̜̻̖ͪͭͣ͆ͧ͊̄̓ ̼͍͇͔̺̟̓ͯͯ̃ͅ ͎̘̟͚̮̗̙̌ͩ̂͛͋̀̚͢ͅ ̾͑ͩ́̚͏̳̹̼̩̱̳dͦ̎̈̃̑͠͏͍͎̻̳̩͕ͅi̛͈͔̲̥̝̮̼̳ͤ̒͌ͥ̆f͌̄̆ͩ͗ͣ҉͚̹̟̫̬̗f̧̻̞̠͔͔̘̻̳̂̍̓̓͐͘é̹͖̃̿̆ͭ̐̀r̴̦̳̳̪͐͋͘͟ȩ̈̉ͪ̕҉̳͕̩n͕̤̳͔̖͉͎̣̯ͣͥ̓̅̔͗ͦ̈́̚c̷̭͔͓̮̖̯̒̽͊e̗̟̞̟̼̓̋̋ͬ́̚͠,͕̙̰̐̈́́ ̯̣̖̗̠͓̼ͮ̆̅͜ ̈̾̍͏͉ā̿̾̑̍͐ͣ̿̓͏̶̥̰͖̤̟͘l̢̥͔̦̜͕̄ͣ̃ͯl̟̩̤̤̺ͧ̐̽̈́̑ͤ͟ ͉̦̮̟͕̯̦͌͗͛̀ṭ̵͈͕͍̙̲̅̓ͮ̃ͮ̃ḣ̴̺̹̙̌̕ͅa͐ͬ̄ͦ̈͌̀ͤ͏҉̣̱̳t̴͉̠̐̾̎͛͜ ̨̫̳͈͔̯̩͖̺ͩ̇̆̍́̃̕͜
huh?
sorry,
it’s just harder to find these days
find what?
the glue.
glue again?
yeah,
that’s the term she used, anyway.
she?
someone else fell from there
that tree?
yeah.
just last year
what happened?
she was concussed, hospitalised, but lived
that’s nice, i guess.
anyway, she claimed she could read it
the plaque?
yeah.
and other things.
other things?
walls
power poles
the ruptures in the pavement,
the gaps between houses
the lost words of derelict places.
what did they say?
she said she couldn’t say
the meanings don’t translate?
something like that,
but also,
kinda,
it’s words weren’t words per say
but the murmurs of the glue itself
hmm.
what poppycock.
i mean, pretty much.
but,
you don’t remember, do you?
what your mother had had inscribed that day?
ah..
no.
sorry.
you couldn’t ask,
could you?
...
sorry, i don’t mean to pressure
its just been bugging me.
…
sorry.
i’d rather not.
i’m not..
not really sure how to broach the subject.
fair enough
it’s fine, i’m in two minds really.
oh?
yeah.
i mean, i want to reach an understanding,
but i feel if i do, it’d be
snap, crack?
yeah.
..yeah no, sorry.
mum, and, i…
i dunno.
dfsjgksdfgjldfkjgdfls
do you sometimes feel you can’t get through to others,
or rather, that there’s no way to say what you feel you need to say?
don’t worry, i reckon the feeling's universal
thats not actually that reassuring.
ha, sorry.
but at the least
i suspect it gets easier,
as it becomes less immediate
and more over and done with
...yeah.
i guess
i wrote this a while back. not exactly sure what it was meant to be about anymore
but that's fine too, right?
yeah
