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Erika Castaldo Nov 2016
Right in the middle of the busiest area of the Poconos, the group of condos sit in a large circle. The sky is dark, for it has been hidden from all possible sunlight by the many awnings and porches that join the different housing units. On one side of the condos the neon lights from the bar next door shine through the children’s windows, but the more occupied side the parking lot is lined with fast food restaurants- clumped together and riotous with large families that frequent them, juggling their small children and many diaper bags; and noisy cars speeding past with loud engines, pungent, murky exhaust spewing out of the back and police sirens constantly blaring down the street. In the parking lot encircled by the condos the tenant kids run around full of light yet somehow full of darkness at the same time. The older kids come out of the small houses to sit on the sidewalk in the evening, and the cracked sidewalks are covered with the faded chalk drawings left there by the youngsters earlier in the day, and with the sheets of crumbled up paper containing poetry no one would ever read, and with the old needles and discarded blunts of their parents who had left them there over the course of the day.

There is one unit in particular, a unit with a broken door from the many men who had tried to force their way in, a unit with holes in every wall that were put there by flying fists and thrown objects that had missed their true target- the oldest daughter. In front of the many holes in the their smiles are fake and their hugs are forced.
the sweet, innocent, happy girl
I used to be, only 5 years ago, is long gone.
Thrown away like a pile of garbage
& replaced by a zombie
Fueled by nothing more than fear, anger, sadness, & anxiety.
Not living; just breathing.
If she knew herself today,
She would be terrified of the monster she'd become
While her dreams were crushed right in front of her
& swept away by suicidal fantasies
And abuse of ecstasy
She saw.
She would probably be wiped away
Because she would have never guessed
She would become suicidally depressed
& at the age of 17, addicted to numbness
That eased her emotional pain.
Cutting, burning, drinking,
Taking so many pills she couldn't even think,
While almost by the minute,
Her anxiety and depression only got worse.
But what would surprise her the most
Was how she could even think of ending her own life,
Because she always knew suicide was never the answer.
But I guess after 2 years of constant anxiety,
Depression, hoplessness, & a life that didn't feel worth living,
It begins to feel like the only option.
Most painful of all,
She would hate to see her own death,
When the tiniest thread
Of the rope that once fully held her life together,
Bringing her hope,
Finally broke.
Crying, dizzy from all the pills she took,
She grabbed her blade and slide it across her throat.
Ending all hope for things to get better.
I'm sorry I'm not you anymore.
It shouldn't have ended this way,
But I couldn't live like that forever.
It had to stop
disclaimer: I haven't gone through some of these things, I based them off little things I went through and what others I know went through.
kate crash Jun 2011
...............his
between    chains & carnations
my silent disavowal to the night
the tethered  ropes of humanity
the pulp that ripens & rots
   before the first bite
    before he get’s to have it all
     the promise of an america   (lost era)
    we all fall
       amongst the bricks & poets
   the machines & hoplessness
     the starvation of the heart
            once we could all
  finally reach across
the earth
    it falls
it ruins of rhyme
with too much reason
  too much of everything
      left the future with nothing
yet here we lay
     dreaming of a big pay day
   ******* hope
    from between my legs
i love you
i love you
         ‘til I go away



6/12/11
b4 midnite sunday
The Calm Dec 2016
Dear Homeless man
I see you standing there alone
Empty and probably hopeless with no place to call home

The winter cold breathe's on you it's icy kiss
It adds to the pain doesnt it?
To the voice of hoplessness beckoning you to death's dark abyss

Dear homeless man, why do you make me so afraid ?
You're one of God's children and I should be lending you aid
Dear homeless man I don't even know your name
As I wait for a green light feeling selfish,  uncaring and ashamed.

Dear homeless man, don't give up hope
Don't ever become a hopeless man
You probably wonder, if God is so good why doesn't he answer me ?
The birds of the air and the fish of the sea he takes care of
But what about me?

Dear Homeless man, I can't describe to you the emptiness I feel
As I look at you and imagine what you go through, your struggle your world so...real.

My immediate response is to raise my hand and for you say a prayer
My physical response is for you to shed a tear
God said that I would do for the least of I do the same thing to Jesus and for you I did not take care of
Is this what I do to the Lord above ?
To his creation? That's the only question on my imagiation, as I drive home it's a steady fixation as I think, wow me, a christian , certainly this will lead to damnation....

Dear Homeless man I'm sorry,
I wish I could drive you to my home and take you in.
Tell you about Jesus, I know you know that life is tough but I'll tell you how through him you can win
How the cause for your dilemna is through man and his sin but death didn't win
I wish I could show you a new day right now but hopefully through my prayer at that traffic light , hope will reach in.
To the homeless man standing on Orleans street in Baltimore Maryland right after Johns Hopkins Hospital, God bless and I'm sorry I can't help. I hope God blesses you
Riot Jan 2015
this is my facebook
real facebook
instead of connecting with fake friends for numbers
i'm connecting with friends i never knew i had
people here pick me up when i'm sad
a community that breaks hoplessness and fads
a place where beauty doesn't mean perfect
my facebook is right here with everybody
theres no santas list
everybody has been naughty
and i don't put my life on display
i display my feelings
because no matter what
i know you won't judge
so i'll be the first to say

*i love you facebook
Mario Hamblin Nov 2010
I built these walls to protect myself.
Encase myself in steel to keep intruders out.
I ripped my heart out, pickled it and put it on a shelf.
Zipped my mouth and lobotomized myself to exsponge doubt.

I encase my house in a steel cage, bottle up my sadness, fury, rage.
My room sealed shut, locked with a deadbolt.
Strapped into my bed just me and my colt.
45 that is hallucinating and yet peacefully bliss.
A knock on the door.... What the **** is this.

Who's is this knocking on my door. I sealed myself in this world, never see anyone, anymore.
I peek through the window, can't believe my eyes.
In the wall lies a huges gaping hole, dynamite explosion marks her introduction.
Chainsawed bars from where the sparks flew, instantly I knew it was her kiss that broke through.
Her hug was the key that opened the door to me.
Smiling at me is what set me free.

Hopeless I stare, whowhatwhenwhere?!
Feelings arise deep from in there.
She found the jar, brought it to me empty.
Smug devilish smile, for some reason began to tempt me.
I ask "What did you do with what defined me"
She replied "Inplace of mine is where it shall be".
And we traded, easily I see, I'm still pondering how in the hell she got the key.
Key to my heart what leads to me, who are you? How can this be.

She: I am your desire whoever you wish me to be.
Me: you are perfect as you are, as long as you stay with me. I have no mind to think with so nothing can ruin us.
And in an instant she pulled it from thin air, without a care.
She: use this to please and entertain me for you are great, a caged king to be. You have been hurt by others this I can see.
But I hold the key, I belong to you, and you belong to me.

And with that she set me free, the ******* that I have set to be. Something to encage and enslave me. To such a low point and hoplessness for which light you cannot see. I am now whole and happy as can be.
Depression darkening.
I see our sin and it is sickening.
Every story is the same.
There is only one.
And it is true.

We all have a choice.
And we all choose the samest.
Thou mayest indeed.
Making mistakes over and over again.
Nothings changing.
Just new scenery.

We eat that apple every day.
And like God I’m feeling the urge for a flood.
But I want to live in a world without Him.
Without an excuse for our actions.
Humanity is illness
For every good a thousand evils.
Even with hope peeking out in
Timshel.
We choose evil.

I choose evil too.
I’m no better.
I feel rage, bubbling inside.
The glint in my eyes as I grasp at my sister.
If only I could **** her.
But instead it’s hits I give.
She’s begging for it.

Then there is the man.
Whose face and likeness I openly mock.
And I feel my place in society.
As those above mock me.
I don’t feel much pleasure,
Though I smile and laugh.
Only empty.
With a glint in my eyes shinning.

And as I take a bite of the apple.
And knowledge comes into me,
East of Eden.
Guilt comes into me.
And I see myself in them.
Now I’m just left in the sadness of life.
And I wonder if anyone thinks like I think.
If anyone else knows what I know.
If those people are still living.
Or if we are all continually dying.

For there are people cosumed in their own darkness.
And people hiding flaws in laughs,
And  people staring in the stars seeing tears,
But can anyone see the universal.
Can anyone see the hoplessness
Of it all?

That if it was just you, you alone who was with blackness,
Then it would be better soon.
But no it’s us all,
We all are hurt.
We all hurt.

Who knows. Maybe I just do not see the saints.
Or I see them and do not understand.
To me the balance is broken.
No yin only yang.
Hell, maybe I’m broken.
No happy ending.
Only continuing.
Sherrie Lee Hurd May 2010
I tried in vain to fill the void with pretty things as these
but my darkness lingers  beyond those old pine trees
my darkness, it does gather within the southern night
and brings to me my heartache within the moons light
I tried in vain to smile my love, and give you pure emotion
but some  of my virginity was lost in that cold ocean
I tried to write a happy song, but sadness got so mad
it said "you are the best friend that hoplessness has had"
I wandered far and near in time, but time was just so cruel
i listened to the silly speach , the constant mindless druel
I am sorry, I cannot be bright and offer cheerful glee
I am tainted torn and bruised, so what you get is me
the dark, it claimed me long ago , so good luck in your quest
If you bring me brightness babe, then I  agree...you are the best.
You know, this has been a cruel night...taking happiness back to where it belongs--the depths of despair.- From The Dark Faerie Journal
OneCorn Mar 2012
When there was nothing I could do.

I cried
tears of sorrow
tears of anger
tears of hoplessness

No one helped me
No one could

I screamed
words of denial
words of regret
words of pain

No one helped me
No one could

I cried til my tears ran out
I screamed til my voice gave out

No one helped me
No one could

What do you do when tears aren't enough?
What do you do when you scream to deaf ears?
What do you do when nothing you can do can bring her back?

When you look into her cold lifeless eyes and know shes not looking back.
What do you do than?
What can you do?
An attempt at describing the complete and total depression the confusion of losing someone knowing they deserved a longer life. I felt so lost unsure of everything.
Tom Higgins May 2014
There is a road to nowhere
To a place called Oblivion
It's the opposite road to Somewhere
Yet many before have gone,
And followed that road to nowhere
Without ever looking back
They just kept heading on down there
Along hoplessness's track.
And when they arrived in Oblivion
They never ever came to know
That if they'd chosen the road to Somewhere
It was a much better place to go.


Tom Higgins 25/05/2014
Scarlett Jul 2018
tomorrow all that you did today will just be a memory,
to soon be forgotten.
So what are we working towards?
eventually all is lost,
and left in a sea of hoplessness.
what are we living for?
is it that we crave the past,
or that we challenge the future?
What is the purpose?
Damien Dec 2019
"When one hasn't met death
Yet the other has
How are you supposed to feel?"

I'm unsure for the most part
But I'm filled with...
Sadness
Despair
Hoplessness
And endless pain

For although one of them isn't 6 feet deep
Does not mean the pain from the other isn't there anymore

The pain that arose from her death engulfs me and will do so forevermore

— The End —