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affi Feb 2018
Why are we confident
In the sea of people
But drown
In the drops of intimacy
You keep saying everything's fine,
But honestly, I don't believe you.

I've been betrayed over and over again,
And set aside by those whom I thought friends.
I've been judged for being me;
and for wanting company.
I've changed my ways and habits to be to their likeness. They, in turn, spit in my face.

I've been forgotten by those whom I thought of as equals, as true friends, maybe even family.
And yet I'm here thinking about those who have wronged me, asking myself what I did to deserve this.

I've been declared guilty, guilty by association. Bound to be forgotten and never spoken to.

And all of this because I was innocently honest about one tiny thing,
That turned out to be massive in the eyes of mummy's boy.
mjad Aug 2018
Fun
Of all the fun Ive ever had
Almost all I've never told you
From beach days to movie nights
And pizza stops and wrestling fights
Almost all I've never told you
Car rides speeding at midnight
Walking on the frozen lake downtown
Scared that I'll fall through and drown
Waking up in his bed
To giving road head
All the fun I've had I've never told you
You never knew, never found out about
All the lies I hand fed you
Dozens and dozens of times I did what I liked
Instead of listening to you
And of all of those times of adventure and fun
I regret absolutely none
Except the fact I had to pretend I wasn't actually doing a single one
I'll tell them one day
Part 1 of 3
Dougie Simps Oct 2016
Dear insecure, emotional, overthinking young man

you've came a long way from way back then

you've lost a lot - but had to realize "who hasn't?"

your strong will seemed to be mistaken a lot from your passion

you've missed out on a lot of love by second guessing & never unmasking

why weren't you truly ever satisfied... nah, that's the question that I'm asking...

your abandonment issues pushed away the potential of something ever lasting

constantly fighting the man in the mirror

hopefully with your new life - you see things clearer

no one ever knew, with you...who they were gonna get

you've missed out on a lot of good times wanting to talk

instead of just letting it go and enjoying the time you had left.

Your favorite pills were self pity, self indulgence, ignorance and regret

you never stopped to listen - stopped talking - hopefully now you allow others words to be said

no woman stood a chance... you purposely acted a certain way to avoid the possibility of true love

discretely pushing them away until they saw nothing and had enough.

don't get me started on your lack of living

missed out on a lot of trips, chances and opportunities

I hope now you've filled that void that is missing

you swore happiness was wealth... power...a line of respect

little did you know it was the little things; the calm, the moments
the people and things in life worth it and willing to invest.

you gave up on a few dreams... figured why fight?

countless times your mind would just run... keep you up all night

you were so afraid of success... honestly, I never knew why

you never freed that little boy trapped - stuck in his father's grasp

he was begging for freedom, you left him struck inside

everyday was another day you thought was your time.

I hope you live now

I hope you see the beauty life truly is

I hope you found love

I hope you found this


I needed to write this letter to you - so you can see how far you have come

you can see that change is real

you can see all that you have become

Bland Douglas Simpkins,

that's the man you should be proud to be

no matter what challenges you were faced with

those obstacles were needed, needed to make it to this me

thank those who've came into your life - not all were meant to last

some forced you left - others showed you right

no matter what, some were needed in your past.

So...

Dear future self,

please understand - I'm sorry. For all that I put you through

the truth remains - that without me - just know...

there would be no you.
to the future
white bird Aug 2015
could you tell me everything
about your secret
that you've been buried
so deep in your mind

i want to make it lighter
i trust you -so you know-
i've told you for thousand times
can you open up?

let me be your safety place
your dearest diary
i will keep it secretly
just so you know

i want to release you from that chains
want to recover your wound
i know you confuse
so, please be honest with me
L Dec 2016
APF
i feel like the equivalent
of an abandoned paintball field.
I guess it could be peaceful.
But its a bit eerie to say the least.
Everything is all faded but you can tell
**** has gone down there.
You just cant know for sure what.
Like youre sure there were some great memories there.
But you also cant rule out
the possibility that
at one point in time,
someone has gotten an eye shot out.
Natalie Jan 2018
I could tell you the exact day I became complacent
I can recall the way he parted his hair and the way he touched a steering wheel and the color of his eyes
And how he cared enough about me to make sure I didn't drink and drive
But not enough to stop mixing my drinks all night
And since I can't stand up for myself, he watched as I fell apart
I am a marionette with a broken string but ****, he's a master in the art
Constantly moving me; bending my frame and pulling my wires
And keeping me onstage whenever he desires
But it's hard for me to play my part and keep up with my lines
When I come home smelling like a different cologne each night
When I am just an empty canister he keeps bringing to his lips
Begging and pleading me to offer him something with purpose

But it's always the same story:
He fabricates me
I break and I bleed under his idea of my self discovery
And my selfish idea of recovery
Out of every sweet name or ***** word he's ever called me
I think I've found that "Lonely" is my favorite thing to be


I haven't lit a cigarette in weeks, but tonight I'll light three;
One for him, one for me, and one for the person I swore I would never be

Listen;
My biggest flaw is that when I settled for feeling comfortable,
When I settled for what he told me I was
I never even bothered learning self-love
lX0st Mar 2015
Doctors say
Once you reach the age of maturity
You will cease to grow;
But how does that explain
The heights that I reach,
The expansion of my heart,
Or the width of my smile
When I'm wrapped in your arms?
It doesn't.
It is your love.
Cathyy Feb 2016
Truthfully I find it hard to write a song,
It takes a great deal of emotion just to write one..
I don't sound impressive singing under pressure to my friends
And I find it hard to know who to trust so I let everyone in

But if theres something great to appreciate about me, its this..
When I love someone, I love **** hard,
I cross limits and expectations for just a bit of their heart.
And none of them would have to love me back
Just smile..
Because when I love,
I always go the extra mile

Well falling in love easily might not
Actually be so great
But theres something tragically beautiful about an unintentional heartbreak
See me, I find it hard to just move on
But when I let go, it's like the past 12 months just proved my heart wrong

I find it hard to be on my own
But when I'm with too many people
I wish I was alone..
I find it hard to not be soft & soppy
I love myself i do,
But that comes across as cocky
Oh but the one thing you can appreciate about me..
Is that when I love you,
You become a walking masterpiece
And In my poems you remain beautiful
Aynjul Mar 2017
The day you let me go,
felt like I took off into space

Alone,
With nothing left but memories and unaware of whats out there..

& now
you fuel
The rest
of my
Journey
Forever
Into the depth of time.
My love.
Forever
Lyn-Purcell Oct 2018
My                                              
heart is                                                  
A LANTERN                                              
Inside, lives a                                              
fae                                                  
♡         ­                                       
g                                          
e                   ­                 
n                                      
t                       ­                       
l                                                
e                                          
♡                                
a                          
  ­   n                                
      d                        ­                  
      ♡                                       ­             
s                                                  ­  
w                                              
e                                        
e                     ­             
t                                        
♡                                                      

                  With
                   bright wings
                     G L I T T E R I N G
                     with love, life and
                     hope
                    ♡
                 f
           o
           r
                 ♡
                         p
                             e
                             a
                       c
                 e
                     ♡

As                    
I grow,                
S H E  R E M A I N S              
youthful, timid,              
safe                
♡              
a        
f      
r        
a                
i                  
d       ­     
♡    
t
     o

f        
l              
y          


                                        She
                   ­                     spent days
                                          JUST  CRYING
     ­                                     feeling so lost
                                          Hurt
             ­                             ♡
                                  ­        I
                                               '
                                                     m
                                                      ♡
       ­                                             s
                  ­                             o
                                        ♡
                     ­          s
                             o
                                    r
                                          r
                    ­                              y
                                 ­                   ♡

                                           ­                             The
                                ­                                         summer
                                                          ­                OF HER HEART
                                                           ­                  became winter
                                                          ­                bleak
                                           ­                            ♡
                                                               ­                 a
                                                                ­                     n
                                                               ­                   d
                                            ­                            ♡
                                   ­                            c
                                                             o
                                                               ­   l
                                                            ­                d
                                                                ­                   ♡

                        But
                       with time
                          SHE MANAGED
                        to pick herself
                       up
                      ♡
                  a
                  ­ n
                           d
                                  ♡
                           ­               h
                                        e
      ­                           r
                          ♡
              p
      e
          n­
                 ♡

With                        
the help                        
O F  O T H E R                        
fellow Kings and                        
Queens                      
♡                    
t              
h          
a              
n                        
k         ­                         
♡                                      ­    
y                                      
o                                
  u                        
♡  ­        
s
       o
       ♡
m    
u              
c                
h        


                   You                                                              ­    
all have                                              
A D D E D   TO                                            
my heart's inner                                              
flame        ­                                        
♡                                              
a                                                          
n   ­                                                       
d                                                      
♡       ­                               
h                            
o  ­                      
p                              
e                               ­       
s                                        
♡                     ­           

       Winds                                                            ­              
blow, wings                                                            ­      
NOW FLUTTER                                                          ­        
I'm ready to                                                               ­   
fly                                                              ­  
♡                                                                ­
s                                                              
i                                                      
d                                                
e                                                
♡                                                          
b                                                               ­ 
y                                                              ­  
♡                                                          
s    ­                                            
i                                                  
d            ­                                              
e                 ­                                                   ♡
I'm back!
So sorry everyone, the last few weeks have been... a strain on me.
I am still doing my media course and all, but mentally and emotionally,
I was slipping down into a dark place. My sleeping patterns have been messed up, my nerves have been completely out of control, my self-doubt, anxiety and depression drained me so much that I found it really hard to write, so I needed time to gather myself. It was so hard for me to pick up a pen. To do anything. My smiles were hollow and I just felt so lost.

I just wanted to apologise, I didn't mean to worry anyone. I'm truly touched by the out-pour of support for me. I got so many messages asking if I was alright. I can't express how much that warmed my heart. I'm so used to people being angry at me for my silence that it usually scares me to come back. By nature, with everything I've experienced, it's made me more and more of an isolationist. To all of those people, truly, thank you so so much for staying and just being kind to me...
Really. Thank you T-T
And thank you to all my followers, old and new.
245 followers... I can't even... T-T
I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record but thank you.
I'm back now, and I'm feeling better.
It's easier to hold my pen so I will resume spilling my ink.

I'll continue the Masked Bard on Thursday, I'm free the whole day.
I have no idea of my schedule the coming week.
Again, I appreciate everyone one of you.
Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
Thank you for staying with someone like me.
With much love,
Lyn ***
WordsHelp Sep 2018
i have so many tabs in the books i read
they are color coded and when you flip open the book
i usually have some sort of comment there
these comments range from witty to cynical to dark to brutally honest
either with myself
or a general statement about the world
no matter what it says
whether silly or serious
those comments are my secrets
the tabbed off sections of my mind that i keep for only myself
the bruises i keep concealed
the words i’m too afraid to speak out loud
secrets between myself
my book
and my future self
who will one day read those tabs
those comments
and think back to the reasons they were left
think about all the obstacles i had overcome
and all words i had once related to
my truest self lies within
the margins of books
highlighted quotes
and color coordinated tabs
that no one knows the meaning of
i am terrified of someone reading those sections
someone picking up any one of my books
and knowing how i really feel on the inside
it would be as if someone had stripped me of my clothes
and left me for judgement
one day
i’ll be able to let someone open my books
to let them observe my truest self
and i hope that person is willing
to show me
their tabs too
Benji James Dec 2018
So many elements
Make up this man
Let me open up
Show all that I am
Take a little insecurity
Fill these eyes with some tears
Take a little fear
Sew them into this skin
If I'm gonna show it all
I need to let you see everything

Open up this heart
Cut it in half
Let all the love bleed out
Just so they have no doubt
All I've got is yours too hold
Take these hands filled with hope
Come inside my mind
Where you'll see all these
Dreams on display
Sometimes this Imagination
Runs away

There is passion
There is inspiration
There is motivation
There is faith
Stitched into the fabric of my being
Strength and hope, open your eyes
And you will see
All these things make up you and me

Sprinkle some hurt
To fill the drive
There's a little hate hidden inside
Kept in the dark corners of our mind
But I choose love, that is where I side
Opinions could fly out from these lips
But that would be counterproductive
I'm just trying to be me
The best I can be
I'm just trying to see
A world in which I can exist
And be proud of all I've accomplished.

Take a little anxiety
A pinch of crazy
Pour a little jealousy
Over me
All these little things
With some humanization
That adds up to this creation
I'll walk this world
Arms wide open
You'll see every inch of me
Nothing to hide
No disguise
No agenda in my eyes

There is passion
There is inspiration
There is motivation
There is faith
Stitched into the fabric of my being
Strength and hope, open your eyes
And you will see
All these things make up you and me.

Sprinkle some hurt
To fill the drive
There's a little hate hidden inside
Kept in the dark corners of our mind
But I choose love, that is where I side
Opinions could fly out from these lips
But that would be counterproductive
I'm just trying to be me
The best I can be
I'm just trying to see
A world in which I can exist
And be proud of all I've accomplished.

Take a little self-control
Inject some humour into my soul
Drink down some bravery
Fill my warrior spirit
through a dance
Filled with fire
Fill these eyes with starlit skies
Feel power building inside
A determination to be great
Finding a way to new heights
Through freedom, Through flight
This is so raw, This is so real
You're inheriting all that I feel.

There is passion
There is inspiration
There is motivation
There is faith
Stitched into the fabric of my being
Strength and hope, open your eyes
And you will see
All these things make up you and me.

Sprinkle some hurt
To fill the drive
There's a little hate hidden inside
Kept in the dark corners of our mind
But I choose love, that is where I side
Opinions could fly out from these lips
But that would be counterproductive
I'm just trying to be me
The best I can be
I'm just trying to see
A world in which I can exist
And be proud of all I've accomplished.

Honesty soaks into my skin
Revealing truths
Layed out before your sights
And it comes as no surprise
All of these acts that take the stage
Are giving there all
No time for questioning
No time for dismay
Only came to display all it is they can be
With each opportunity that came there way
With belief in their talents shown
Audiences left with their minds blown

There is passion
There is inspiration
There is motivation
There is faith
Stitched into the fabric of my being
Strength and hope, open your eyes
And you will see
All these things make up you and me

Sprinkle some hurt
To fill the drive
There's a little hate hidden inside
Kept in the dark corners of our mind
But I choose love, that is where I side
Opinions could fly out from these lips
But that would be counterproductive
I'm just trying to be me
The best I can be
I'm just trying to see
A world in which I can exist
And be proud of all I've accomplished.

©2018 Written By Benji James
Aaron LaLux Sep 2018
"Can we make love,
at least a couple more times,
before we never see each other again?”,

Her voice is soft,
sweet,
almost innocent,
and adds an aphro-ambiance,
to the incessant crash of the ocean waves in the background,

her pleading eyes,
intercept my retreating lies,
it can be so hard to argue with the truth.

I am all out of excuses,
as we lay naked as the day we were born,
in this bed at this beachside bungalow in Baja,
clouds gathering outside for the coming post sunshine storm,

two tainted souls,
in a rare moment of purity,
as we lay there I can not lie here,
I can not tell her I will see her again,
I can not tell her everything will be okay,
I can not tell her I love her,
at least not in the same way,
as she loves me,
which of course is unconditionally,

we’ve just made love,
and as she’s mentioned,
possibly for the last time,
and though she wants to make love again and again,
until we both grow old,
wants and realities can compete in this existence,
and in this moment is where they both meet,

“Can we make love,
at least a couple more times,
before we never see each other again?”,

she asks me again,
shaking me from the depths of my thoughts,
she pulls my submarine from the dark depths,
and shakes me out to dry in the sunlight of her attention,
her question,
comes with a hint of offense,
honestly no offense was meant,
at least not from me,
it’s not that I was ignoring her in that moment,
at least not completely,

it’s just that it’s difficult for me to stay in the moment,
when the past keeps dragging me back,
and the future keeps pushing me forward,
and there’s a needy media monster that doesn’t want to be ignored,

where were,
we,
where have we gone,
and what has become,
of the innocence in which we were born?

We lay,
naked as the day we were born,
in this bed at this beachside bungalow in Baja,
clouds gathering outside for the coming post sunshine storm,

nothing covering our skin,
except a thin layer of post *** perspiration,
for even though the sun has already set,
the humid heat still sits there,
like the soon to be cloud covered moon,
that hangs lazily in the sky,
seeming neither amused nor moved by our human drama.

Her question,
is reasonable enough,
and she is,
beautiful enough,
so why,
when she asks,
“Can we make love,
at least a couple more times,
before we never see each other again?”,
can I not say yes?

Well,
for one,
I respect her too much to lie to her,
plus lying to such an honest question,
would seem so taboo,

reason number two,

they say,
we do not choose love,
they say,
love chooses us,
and I do not love her,
even though I may want to,
I do not love her,
because she is not the one Love had decided to choose,

I do not love her,
as amazing as she is,
even if I should love her,
for she is everything a mortal man could ask for,
she is,
a gorgeous and successful model,
with a sharp and receptive mind,
a big heart,
and maybe most importantly,
an undying devotional love for me,
so logically,
I should love her,

but love is not logical,
love is as passionate and irrational,
as the weather here in Baja,
one moment shining bright with clear skies,
the next moment dark and ominous with gathering clouds,

so when she asks me,
“Can we make love,
at least a couple more times,
before we never see each other again?”,

I simply say nothing,
for what can I say,
how can I explain the irrational,
how can I say the one word,
that will break her heart open,
then watch that heart break right in front of me,
how can I say “No”,
to the one question,
that the girl that has said “Yes”,
to my every question,
asks me?

So I say nothing,
I simply open this writing book,
as these skies open above us,
and write down these thoughts upon these pages,
as the desert rains fall down upon us,

I write this poem,
as we lay naked as the day we were born,
in this bed at this beachside bungalow in Baja,
as the incessant crash of the ocean waves in the background,
adds to the aphro-ambiance,
of this bittersweet moment in time,
so that even when I am gone,
and she is gone,
and we are gone,
these words,
from these thoughts,
will live forever,
immortalized in this verse,
forever resting,
somewhere in the collective psyche,
of our unified broken hearts,

as we lay there,
as we mutually mourn,
all that has been loved,
and all that has been lost,
in this impermanent moment called Life,

and she asks,
"Can we make love,
at least a couple more times,
before we never see each other again?”,

∆ Aaron LaLux ∆
My new book (Was a best seller) is now available FREE here: www.scribd.com/document/388173677/The-Holy-Trilogy-Volume-2-Mandalas
Jules Aug 2016
'i still love you,' i whisper,
an echo that does not echo back in the silence;
(it does not need to)

i still love you,
the most honest words to pass my lips,
and yet it is easy –
to admit this love for you even now,
not so much a confession as a simple confirmation:

i still love you; i haven’t stopped; i do not intend to.
it is as easy as breathing. i hope you know.
If  someone once cared about you.
and they disappear
What are they saying.
Yama Day Tinta Jul 2017
I could write you more, you know.
And I would, but it feels wrong to.
I could call you, too, but again...
Look, I love you, okay, and
there's no way around that,
no hiding from it.
I know that in this life
we can't be a thing.
That really makes me want the next life,
but I'm also scared there won't be one.
It's a ******* mess, really.
I'm a ******* mess.
I don't let you see it, though;
I pretend I'm good at being friends.
Have I fooled you?
No, of course not.
I am thankful, though, that you
don't rub it in.
You are kind.
You are a rarity.
And so I pine, don't I?
Spending so much time wishing while
spending so much time afraid of that wish coming true.
Reality is the biggest letdown and
I know that I am a close second to it.
And if you ever read this, isn't it attractive to see such a ****** man, complaining about things he could change but won't?
I hate this more than a lot of things:
my unwillingness to do what's best for me at the expense of others.
*******.
This isn't pretty or poetry,
but it's honest, and I wish you knew I write here.
Danish Zia Jul 2018
It's Dusk, See The Sun Is Burning,
And The Flames Of It Burning The Sky Too.
Sun "Why" Asked I.
"That's My Part Of Job, And I Am Done For Today"
Sun Glared At Me.
It's The Moon Who Has To Come Next To Heal  Burnt Sky.

Danish Zia | OldPen
ryn Oct 2014
Keep it honest, maintain it humble.
Let it show... From deep within...

Fabricate if you must, adorn with tassels.
First know the seed before you begin.

Let it sprout wings, in your cradle.
Let soar from emotions and thoughts akin.

Let honesty shine forth from the rubble,
Let humility speak in volumes of what we mean.
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