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"hobbled" poems
I crossed paths with a dragon today. Smoke blowing from the holes in her face. Suffering from the heat of her own exhaust. Instead of flying above me gracefully, she hobbled before me. Like her snowy white wings have long since given up on her. Once strong, leathery skin now grown soft with weaknesses. Like a piece of broken armor. Her eyes still held their draconic glow. Blue and forceful. Like waves crashing upon a shore.
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Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 1:52 AM UTC
Sickly Dragon
1   Grey sky greyer sea a litter of rocks balance coat bright hat blue mittens striped as on these November steps you collect the gifts of the ebb tide   2 Glint green this living tapestry echoes Jilly’s field with tractor not Devon but salt-flats rocky revetments moorland rising a map crossed by a chiromatic line our destiny marked out on this concrete wall?   3 Beached clinkered double-ender a bay-courser sjekte strand-crunched fit once for Viking raiders two abreast now daubed with tin ends of patriotic paint a sea-steed hobbled hard on the shore   4 Bow faced a sea helmet thrice rope strapped slow moulded over the boat builder’s ribbanded jig a spanglehelm of wood curved sheer straked plank bilged a tuck stern raising its proud head seaward   5 Viewed from the air a map rolls out north to the tilted curve of the horizon’s rim cloud scattered mountained red betwixt seas sun chalked wine-stained a volcanic isthmus provokes desert the western waste land of  a brooding city   6 Oh face of ropes knot eyed! you blue cheeked wide smiler wild wild your  head of hair beachcombed and splayed wrapped on the sternest post   7 She sewed sugar kelp on the sea shore a sporophyte with sheltered frond​ strap-like stem stiff and smooth of the species saccharina a spring-tide stalk set among substrates shells and stones   8 I the camera turned and caressed by her slight fingers (the pinky raised) my viewfinder close to her blue grey eye / I focus on this kelp-needled novelty feel her breath wait for the thumb press the electronic click   9 Here is the beach walked in darkness the fishermen shadows against the moonstruck ebb fingers laced the sea’s breath in our ears wave upon wave un-folding on the sand and  later we unfold then draw back in love’s relentlessness
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Sep 15, 2012
Sep 15, 2012 at 4:09 AM UTC
Gifts from the ebb tide
1   Grey sky greyer sea a litter of rocks balance coat bright hat blue mittens striped as on these November steps you collect the gifts of the ebb tide   2 Glint green this living tapestry echoes Jilly’s field with tractor not Devon but salt-flats rocky revetments moorland rising a map crossed by a chiromatic line our destiny marked out on this concrete wall?   3 Beached clinkered double-ender a bay-courser sjekte strand-crunched fit once for Viking raiders two abreast now daubed with tin ends of patriotic paint a sea-steed hobbled hard on the shore   4 Bow faced a sea helmet thrice rope strapped slow moulded over the boat builder’s ribbanded jig a spanglehelm of wood curved sheer straked plank bilged a tuck stern raising its proud head seaward   5 Viewed from the air a map rolls out north to the tilted curve of the horizon’s rim cloud scattered mountained red betwixt seas sun chalked wine-stained a volcanic isthmus provokes desert the western waste land of  a brooding city   6 Oh face of ropes knot eyed! you blue cheeked wide smiler wild wild your  head of hair beachcombed and splayed wrapped on the sternest post   7 She sewed sugar kelp on the sea shore a sporophyte with sheltered frond​ strap-like stem stiff and smooth of the species saccharina a spring-tide stalk set among substrates shells and stones   8 I the camera turned and caressed by her slight fingers (the pinky raised) my viewfinder close to her blue grey eye / I focus on this kelp-needled novelty feel her breath wait for the thumb press the electronic click   9 Here is the beach walked in darkness the fishermen shadows against the moonstruck ebb fingers laced the sea’s breath in our ears wave upon wave un-folding on the sand and  later we unfold then draw back in love’s relentlessness
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54
Come on over and sit right down The storyteller has come to town. So many stories I have acquired and that's a fact....I keep them hidden in my knapsack in a book that's white and black. This a story about you.......It was a day just like this .....a total stranger came to offer you A gift. It was wrapped in the most beautiful paper one has ever seen. The workmanship was awesome.....some would say prestine. He leaned on his cane .....due to a bad leg. He hurt it one night wrestling until the early morn......he also received a gift like a mother who cuddles her newborn. So ....as he leaned upon the cane and lit his corncob pipe ....and blew smoke in the air. The extravagant gift was placed on the chair. He said "This gift that is contained in this box is something that everyone wants." " You have have been chosen to receive this gift." "You don't have to take it.....you can give it to another.....if you chose. Although....it wouldn't be wise to make such a move." The gift is still sitting in that chair......should I open it or leave it there? A potential to change my life and end the strife I face on a daily basis. This isn't a deserted scene where you will see a thirst quenching oasis. My basis for this story is about choices.....you have so many voices guiding your every thought......sometimes we chose wisely......and other times not so much. These are the occasions when we lose touch or sight between right or wrong......the consequences for that wrong selection.......will have me singing a sad song. If I chose wisely the day will be a lot easier to travel...not a perfect ride.....but I will arrive with all my bags in tow. Chose wisely ........ So....he gathered his belongings and blew a smoke ring in the air.......and hobbled off into the distance. He hummed a jovial tune and yelled back that he would return soon. The Storyteller...........
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Oct 7, 2012
Oct 7, 2012 at 4:41 PM UTC
Storyteller
Come on over and sit right down The storyteller has come to town. So many stories I have acquired and that's a fact....I keep them hidden in my knapsack in a book that's white and black. This a story about you.......It was a day just like this .....a total stranger came to offer you A gift. It was wrapped in the most beautiful paper one has ever seen. The workmanship was awesome.....some would say prestine. He leaned on his cane .....due to a bad leg. He hurt it one night wrestling until the early morn......he also received a gift like a mother who cuddles her newborn. So ....as he leaned upon the cane and lit his corncob pipe ....and blew smoke in the air. The extravagant gift was placed on the chair. He said "This gift that is contained in this box is something that everyone wants." " You have have been chosen to receive this gift." "You don't have to take it.....you can give it to another.....if you chose. Although....it wouldn't be wise to make such a move." The gift is still sitting in that chair......should I open it or leave it there? A potential to change my life and end the strife I face on a daily basis. This isn't a deserted scene where you will see a thirst quenching oasis. My basis for this story is about choices.....you have so many voices guiding your every thought......sometimes we chose wisely......and other times not so much. These are the occasions when we lose touch or sight between right or wrong......the consequences for that wrong selection.......will have me singing a sad song. If I chose wisely the day will be a lot easier to travel...not a perfect ride.....but I will arrive with all my bags in tow. Chose wisely ........ So....he gathered his belongings and blew a smoke ring in the air.......and hobbled off into the distance. He hummed a jovial tune and yelled back that he would return soon. The Storyteller...........
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shuffled into the hallway the laughing ignorance stews in its bathrobe and cigar at the edge of its own manicured lawn with a pale eye it it calculates with a thin cold lip it ponders he makes his lazy way to his bed among the spilled leaves makes his way to the comforts of eyes closed visions the laughing ignorance proverbial fool in ragged cloth dancing a jig on a spring moon's grave flowers in hand and wreaths of holly adorning his head like a crown of soft thorns his skilful laugh echoes across the barren field littered with the passing of days strewn with the formulations of nights bitter embrace no mere words can delay or mislead the way that darkness creeps into the mind when alone with its own devices done with his jig he sits on the springs moons grave and sips at the christmas wine savoring its crisp life on his tongue the laughing ignorance still wearing the dancing fools leather shoe is a hobbled prisoner of his laughing jest no other time or place has room for his kind for his pantomime of long lost victory's on beachheads of distant sandy shore his rancid eye calculates me in all my rumoured mistakes and he speaks to that dream not to me so i will leave him here standing in manicured existence of his own sour pain the fall will find him sleeping sweetly on the spring moon's grave and it will renew him leaves swirling down as the world steals the crown of the tree above he will be a young man once again renewed by the promise of maidens dancing and the dance of winterlight on snowbound fields
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Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014 at 12:55 PM UTC
spring moon's grave
shuffled into the hallway the laughing ignorance stews in its bathrobe and cigar at the edge of its own manicured lawn with a pale eye it it calculates with a thin cold lip it ponders he makes his lazy way to his bed among the spilled leaves makes his way to the comforts of eyes closed visions the laughing ignorance proverbial fool in ragged cloth dancing a jig on a spring moon's grave flowers in hand and wreaths of holly adorning his head like a crown of soft thorns his skilful laugh echoes across the barren field littered with the passing of days strewn with the formulations of nights bitter embrace no mere words can delay or mislead the way that darkness creeps into the mind when alone with its own devices done with his jig he sits on the springs moons grave and sips at the christmas wine savoring its crisp life on his tongue the laughing ignorance still wearing the dancing fools leather shoe is a hobbled prisoner of his laughing jest no other time or place has room for his kind for his pantomime of long lost victory's on beachheads of distant sandy shore his rancid eye calculates me in all my rumoured mistakes and he speaks to that dream not to me so i will leave him here standing in manicured existence of his own sour pain the fall will find him sleeping sweetly on the spring moon's grave and it will renew him leaves swirling down as the world steals the crown of the tree above he will be a young man once again renewed by the promise of maidens dancing and the dance of winterlight on snowbound fields
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She bleeds ‘all tragic steam work blasted mists ‘All hobbled clamped free fall for ‘all seasonal depression slump She’s ‘all death knell cramp urgency and held back suffering kneeling on kitchen floors ‘all like boarding school broomsticks lessons with ‘all that theoretical **** the ***** save the man type schlock shock rhetoric shtick so ‘all I’ll be is her savage heretic wagon burner page-turner on the hot coal back burner ‘all boarded up sealed shut in the walls until she calls Expecting me to be 'all combat ready ‘all back with a vengeance while her thrift store hazard suit groups and droops ‘all over my haphazard dream sliced hang nailed hangover hands hiding ‘all derelict style while between the sheets confessional gets voided by social media air raid sirens bringing me ‘all too close to rocks and crystals and who ‘all needs another pathetic apathetic junk punk when ‘all and ‘all I'd rather die for you because I just can't live with myself
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Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 3:08 PM UTC
Noise Pollution
I crossed paths with a dragon today. Smoke blowing from the holes in her face. Suffering from the heat of her own exhaust. Instead of flying above me gracefully, she hobbled before me. Like her snowy white wings have long since given up on her. Once strong, leathery skin now grown soft with weaknesses. Like a piece of broken armor. Her eyes still held their draconic glow. Blue and forceful. Like waves crashing upon a shore.
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Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 1:53 AM UTC
Sickly Dragon
The Warden roused them early on this, their final day. He marched them out on hobbled feet- Grey trucks took them away. Doctors, lawyers, engineers, All captured in a raid. German Soldiers had been killed Reprisals must be made.. Fathers, Husbands, sons all caught within the **** snare. Among them was a carpenter Who bowed his head in prayer. He’d walk the hills of Rome no more Nor touch a lover’s cheek. Here, near the Via Appia He’d find eternal sleep. Five by five they entered in to the foreboding cave. There they knelt for benediction, the kind that pistols gave. The cave became a charnel house Each man shot in the head. It reeked of blood and excrement Flies feasted on the dead. The carpenter fell once or twice. Can blood for blood atone? . His killers coveted his coat and forced him to disrobe. By now they had grown sloppy with drink and hate and fear. The first shot missed completely The second grazed his ear. In seconds live eternities He said his final prayer: “Forgive them, Father, even this done out of hate and fear several shots rang out just then each found his noble head they shot him once more, in his side to make sure he was dead. Explosions rocked and sealed the cave With tons of rock and stone They didn’t think to post a guard The grey trucks drove back home.
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Jun 11, 2012
Jun 11, 2012 at 7:20 AM UTC
The Carpenter 3/23/44 Via Appia
Built a cage in a cage as an olive branch for those who wouldn't call her an animal, but won't call her a person. Built a metaphor to slay her sister, like trying to walk while hammering your own toes; hobbled herself to the master's home, and played with the master's playthings, and ate the master's food, and received the hard end of the master's humor with a smile. We are misinformed creatures- A bird with wings to fly, but no destination. A wildcat that hunts only to **** A serpent poisoned by it's own venom. She traded hands to beat herself to death; died with wrists broken, lacy finger bones strewn across her throat. No melody on her tongue. Nobody dying to meet her. Nobody is dying to meet us.
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Aug 12, 2014
Aug 12, 2014 at 8:01 PM UTC
"Shy Bird."
There was this guy Bart that I met in Prague, Told me his girlfriend lived down in a bog. “She’s big and she’s green, with long yellow fangs, And seaweed hangs off of her head like green bangs. The first time I met her she bit off my hand, and spit it out next to me into the sand. The next time I met her, this guy Bart he said, “If she bites you again, I’ll cut off her head.” Well this time she bit off my leg, and she even ate Bart, That’s when I decided that I had to start, Thinking of ways to get rid of this creature, So I hobbled to town to talk to the preacher. “It’s love that it need!” he beamed at me, “Just show it some love, and then you’ll see.” So to the bog I went with love to share, Bart’s girlfriend came out, and greeted me with a stare. I shouted at her, “I came to share love!” And offered her the preacher’s precious white dove. Well she snatched up the dove, broke it in two, Threw it aside and said “Now onto you!” I turned to run as fast as I could, But was bitten in half like an old piece of wood. My final thought before I had died, Was that love had solved nothing, the preacher had lied.
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Mar 22, 2012
Mar 22, 2012 at 6:13 PM UTC
Bart's Girlfriend
back in the day rocks could talk often they where casual, petty and small-minded just like us divinities platitudes every word a drop of manna its magic wow magic so out of conceit we made them gods deferred to their credibility and like idiot children paid attention to their great allegories a provident sea of wisdom from the skeletons of time we carved their faces from stones put them on pedestals and gave them names the great know it alls urns of heaven those oracles of old and so ensued the epic cycle of talking statues and thats how decisions where made back in the day the statues are strangely mute now sunken shadows into earths bowels and the age of reason has been transplanted by the age of *what the **** a new hobbled world soul of darkened consciousness to cope with tentacles of complexity and a forest of trials where depth of thought has been replaced and decisions are made by the exalted ennie meenie minee moe method an abstruse form of ritual magic so from now on all arguments will be settled by me sticking my tongue out
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Nov 12, 2017
Nov 12, 2017 at 3:16 PM UTC
EENIE-MEENIE-MINEE-MOE
He sat there, same table, most Sundays If he came alone, he did not stay that way long His corner table would fill, with nodders and smilers People with pint glass recognition of all he'd done His special tankard 'World's Strongest Man'; no year, for that would be cruel I watched him as I grew, from colouring book infant to The girl who stood a round for her father Each year he shrunk a little, those muscles softening to fat And still they came and asked him to bend their metal pipes And carry a man on each shoulder One handed him a rope for his teeth, and Asked if he would tow away his junker, they Laughed and bought him another round, mate, another pint For the World's Strongest Man He told me once, when I was 10 and curious, The stories of his ink marks, the places He had been and all the strange and wonderful things He had lifted and bent and pulled and Training with the Sumo, ice hole bathing with Inuit, wrestling hobbled Russian bears, the lion that left 'see, this mark here' A yawn when he'd placed his big, shaggy head In the beast's mouth because He too was a king I asked him once, when I had grew If he should have been More like bamboo Thin and reedy, bending in the wind No substance to speak off, yet With a strength belieing it's slender form He told me, as the acolytes trudged past In heavy boots and rough winter coats 'All I ever wanted was for someone else to take the weight, even for a moment, but now it's too late' I smiled sadly, because I understood Tested strength and how it withstood And yet I felt his heart-deep sorrow At looking back, not to tomorrow I did not buy him another pint, I walked with him instead Through the door he'd left a thousand times To his taxi, usual driver, 'home, mate?' Lean on me for now, I said. I'm stronger than I look.
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Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 12:57 PM UTC
The Strongest Man in the World
He sat there, same table, most Sundays If he came alone, he did not stay that way long His corner table would fill, with nodders and smilers People with pint glass recognition of all he'd done His special tankard 'World's Strongest Man'; no year, for that would be cruel I watched him as I grew, from colouring book infant to The girl who stood a round for her father Each year he shrunk a little, those muscles softening to fat And still they came and asked him to bend their metal pipes And carry a man on each shoulder One handed him a rope for his teeth, and Asked if he would tow away his junker, they Laughed and bought him another round, mate, another pint For the World's Strongest Man He told me once, when I was 10 and curious, The stories of his ink marks, the places He had been and all the strange and wonderful things He had lifted and bent and pulled and Training with the Sumo, ice hole bathing with Inuit, wrestling hobbled Russian bears, the lion that left 'see, this mark here' A yawn when he'd placed his big, shaggy head In the beast's mouth because He too was a king I asked him once, when I had grew If he should have been More like bamboo Thin and reedy, bending in the wind No substance to speak off, yet With a strength belieing it's slender form He told me, as the acolytes trudged past In heavy boots and rough winter coats 'All I ever wanted was for someone else to take the weight, even for a moment, but now it's too late' I smiled sadly, because I understood Tested strength and how it withstood And yet I felt his heart-deep sorrow At looking back, not to tomorrow I did not buy him another pint, I walked with him instead Through the door he'd left a thousand times To his taxi, usual driver, 'home, mate?' Lean on me for now, I said. I'm stronger than I look.
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So the other day I put on my big, black hat and hobbled down town (Yep, hobbled as I fell stupidly playing in the yard pretending as though I was a kid and tore a ligament) I donned my black chucks and I was hot **** again for a while I threw on that big fur coat my grams left me And a few of her gaudy jewels Anyhow, I went down to "L" street and sat on that bench again The one in that make shift "park" where they lined up a bunch of big rocks and called it good I sat and looked at that giant lady painted on the side of that falling down brick building for more than a bit "L" street, The bad part of town where you can get anything Not named L street because it's L shaped, but because of a pill that apparently makes you Tripp I guess you can or could get them there, the L pills I mean So I sat there thinking and being mad Staring at that giant, painted, brown woman She advertises tobacco from 80 years ago and she's almost gone Flaking and peeling, Pieces of her lost to the wind, and to time itself She smiles And she's beautiful And I hate her But since I was 15, She draws me to her That Tobacco Lady, with her smile, and red dress and feathered hair She always smiles When it rains, she smiles When it snows, she smiles Hell, when half the ******* town burned That ***** smiled I cry, she smiles.... That Tobacco Lady
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Feb 27, 2017
Feb 27, 2017 at 6:22 PM UTC
That Tobacco Lady
fifty trillion of them, give or take an exponential few, programmed to replicate, then die, ad infinitum spawning perfect copies to ensure molecular harmony their perfection could not keep their host from huffing on tar sticks, gobbling bacon by the kilo, or worshiping the sun's crisping rays until one of their eternal days, a perverse mutation occurred one at first, then two, then four, then more forgetting that all were once destined to die, in a crimson clockwork fashion apoptosis the new invader would hear nothing of this strange word, for it was the emperor of maladies, its geometric procession a spinning spectacle to behold, purloining space from the mortality hobbled trillions evicted by cancer's kangaroo court it will have its reign, this galloping ghost maker, until the host gives up the fight, and that which fed its gluttony   will starve it as blithely as the body gave it ******* birth
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Feb 7, 2015
Feb 7, 2015 at 11:19 AM UTC
the emperor of maladies
I've never eaten a salad so fast as when my best friend and I went to a restaurant where a man with one leg and a loud voice squawked about something artistic, and since I'm still a little girl in body, soul and mind I sit on my feet. My friend and I stopped talking about something artistic as well and listened to them. "I gotta take a **** said the one-legged man, and though my back was turned to him, I could hear how tall and broad he was. As he passed me- that's how I saw his one leg- he stopped at my table, noticing my insecurities and said, "I wish I could still sit on my legs like that. Hey get a load of this," he said to his friend with blue eyes and no teeth. "hah," said his comrade and the one legged man hobbled off to take a **** I guess, but now I'm left wondering Did he mean before he lost his leg or before he was that small? I thought it was a relevant question.
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Jan 12, 2013
Jan 12, 2013 at 11:19 AM UTC
Mentally unstable hobos
your hands were smooth in california but i miss them rough, on mine, in toledo and in far-off colorado where you decided you wanted to learn how to ski and i sat moody at the bottom until you flew down to meet me, and we swapped warmth and tongues and promises because flying with you is the only way i’d ever let my feet leave the ground. and your palms were scraped and charred in california but three years ago to date they were flat on my chest when we moved together - in and around and with each other and you’d whisper love into my knuckles as i hummed you to sleep because you might’ve learned to run but i’ve been hobbled with you my entire life and **** i’d die a thousand times over just to see you smile.
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Aug 17, 2012
Aug 17, 2012 at 2:08 PM UTC
consider the hairpin turn
To buy, or not to buy: That is the Question. Whether it is better in the end to suffer The moods and whims of some outrageous landlord Or take loans. against your future earnings And end up owning something? In hock, for years; Pay rent? And by paying rent to say we end The heart ache and the thousand natural shocks Home ownership is heir to. Reduced Consumption? No Politician’s wish! To rent? To lease? To lease, perchance to own? Ay, that’s a thought For in the grip of debt you’re paying bills Till you have shuffled off this mortal coil It gives one pause. That’s the aspect That makes calamity of adjusting rates For who would bear the years and years of debt Fine dining now reduced to happy meals, Buyers remorse, and the long delays. The Questionable title and the risk Your credit rating doesn’t rate the loan. When you yourself know if you lose your job You’ll end up sleeping in your S.U.V. To grunt and sweat under a heavy load Under the threat of something worse than debt The forced short sale, from which, once closed No equity returns. It puzzles the will. And makes us rather bear such debts we have And, if necessary, refinance them still. Compounding thus make cowards of us all. And so our youthful promise and ambition Is hobbled by the weight of student loans made by lenders judged too big to fail. In this regard the risk is very real we lose the house to auction.
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Nov 22, 2011
Nov 22, 2011 at 4:57 PM UTC
soliloquy of a first time homebuyer
See him make it Down the street Ricket legs And hobbled feet Him mumbo something Him jumbo back R X R with clacking track There him go Past weeds and such Full of empty Short of luck
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Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 9:50 PM UTC
***
Pretty little Penny felt worthless on the streets she got a petty penny when working backseat but maybe this dime piece’s time is spent. She thought as she got up off the park bench Smashing a bottle upon the cobblestone Time was coddled so she hobbled home She said, “I’m sorry”, in monotone “I need you two, I can’t hold my own. I owe you both way more than I have given. Find it in your heart, can I be forgiven? Cause living in the streets has brought out the worst in me I’ve been forced to do things, I’ve begged on my knees But if you take me back I can change, if you trust me.” And so she finished up her plea in a broken mirror in the back alley of the place that she ran from last year. © Matthew Harlovic
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Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 11:03 PM UTC
Pretty Penny
i have felt hanzi in my blood fireworks in my skin dragons in my bones i have looked at a cloudy sky and thought of guangzhou of shenzen of nanjing walls and death and power are my legacy i was born the descendant of a tyrant but i have changed it twisted it and now i am the ancestor of a diamond age once upon a time we bound our feet in rags and hobbled on dirt-packed roads but not anymore not anymore now we sprint full-out to the east the rising sun calls us like silken whispers and we laugh at those who would hold us back walls and death and power are the legacy of those who reach for it of those who write defiance on their chests in ****** pinyin and above all of those who take the fireworks from their skin and scream them alive
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Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 1:52 PM UTC
the middle country
Saw the apathy that hurt her, the want of nothing; a lust for sudden death, but staring it in the face I saw the pain of death. I was too caught up in dying. It usually takes years to just ******* see. I woke up to the sound of my name as a vulgarity. I left abruptly, defeated, disjointed, "If I stay here I will die." I walked thirty minutes with no destination, until I decided I would go to the beach. Did not prepare for the beach. Walked from downtown Cleveland, CSU, to Edgewater park. Burned. Gave a man my last couple dollars. Had no idea how to get where I was going, crossed a bridge, walked on the highway. I got there, took off my socks and shoes, my yellow and black plaid shirt, and walked backwards into the water in my jeans. Burned some more on the sand. Got sand in my pockets still. Decided I want to live. I could see the city in it's entirety from the pier, behind me; somehow conquered by distance. Visually smaller. Tamed? I walked some more until I hobbled and came to her. Held her. Kissed her shoulders. Just melted. I just melted.
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Jul 23, 2014
Jul 23, 2014 at 1:35 PM UTC
"Her Pockets Are Full of Solid Sunshine."
In 2008, I lay upon the floor,   disabled, pain hobbled, my back unable to properly space the Lego discs that keep a man upright king and absolute ruler, was I of the carpet. in the little blue room off the kitchen, where solace in loneliness, was my little heaven in hell. It was my blue period, When you decided to leave And try to take everything But hang around our apartment to practice, practice making misery your profession. It was the same little blue room, years before I ran to, for a few hours rest after tending to you, nursing your cancer needs, fetching, most fetching, I fetched and fluffed, shopped and tended, and comforted, after working all day. Now three years on, on the floor of the same little blue room, unable to move, weakly, wounded, brokebacked, I was a soldier, in a deep trench, almost paralyzed, caught tween desk and bed called your name, even though there was nothing you could have done. Role reversal, years later, roll reversal, roll from the bed to the floor, fallen, immobilized, I rued the morning light, for men must work and women must weep, work and weep, this morning, I was responsible for both. I called you name repeatedly, in a peculiar voice, agreed, the voice of wrack and ruination, after hearing you slippers shuffle a two step at 2 Am, outside the little blue room, oh for many a minute, in the middle of the night, calling, calling perhaps, you would help me to rise, oh yes, just to help me stand, on my bent back, my own legs Somehow one finds a way, is it not always that way? Later, I asked. Did you hear me call you name in the middle of the night? Oh yes. But your voice sounded so weird, I would not go in. Years later, I asked again. Just get over it, you replied, matter of factly. Today, years later, I ask again, right now, right here, I ask but a different question. Do you think I am over it now? Oct 15th 2011
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Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013 at 6:42 AM UTC
Do you think I am over it now?
In 2008, I lay upon the floor,   disabled, pain hobbled, my back unable to properly space the Lego discs that keep a man upright king and absolute ruler, was I of the carpet. in the little blue room off the kitchen, where solace in loneliness, was my little heaven in hell. It was my blue period, When you decided to leave And try to take everything But hang around our apartment to practice, practice making misery your profession. It was the same little blue room, years before I ran to, for a few hours rest after tending to you, nursing your cancer needs, fetching, most fetching, I fetched and fluffed, shopped and tended, and comforted, after working all day. Now three years on, on the floor of the same little blue room, unable to move, weakly, wounded, brokebacked, I was a soldier, in a deep trench, almost paralyzed, caught tween desk and bed called your name, even though there was nothing you could have done. Role reversal, years later, roll reversal, roll from the bed to the floor, fallen, immobilized, I rued the morning light, for men must work and women must weep, work and weep, this morning, I was responsible for both. I called you name repeatedly, in a peculiar voice, agreed, the voice of wrack and ruination, after hearing you slippers shuffle a two step at 2 Am, outside the little blue room, oh for many a minute, in the middle of the night, calling, calling perhaps, you would help me to rise, oh yes, just to help me stand, on my bent back, my own legs Somehow one finds a way, is it not always that way? Later, I asked. Did you hear me call you name in the middle of the night? Oh yes. But your voice sounded so weird, I would not go in. Years later, I asked again. Just get over it, you replied, matter of factly. Today, years later, I ask again, right now, right here, I ask but a different question. Do you think I am over it now? Oct 15th 2011
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I'll miss the day we were crawling down main-street at 4 a.m after we slept in the guest house and danced to CCR. Tossing our beer cans in the neighbor's trash, and singing with every molecule of our bodies at the passing train that deafened us from 20 feet away. We ran wild beneath the overpass, climbing the engines lying dormant on the tracks, pretending we could fuel them up ride across the nation in a rusted box car write our names between the colors of illegible graffiti and shout against the wind as we rolled through the hills. And what a shame we didn't chase that passing train the way we could have. What a shame we didn't let it carry us away with nothing but our flannel jackets and cut off shorts, the lighter in my pocket, and the thirst for a nice adventure. We sauntered back to the diner, exhausted by the scenery and faces, our buzzes vanishing to the neon signs of bars, seven bars on one street, and the smell of coffee as the elderly hobbled in with the morning paper clutched between arthritic fingers. Tomorrow, and everyday after, a train will pass through town at 4:45 a.m. and I can hop on the caboose any day I desire. Each birthday slithers by, flicking it's tongue in my direction, tasting my youth. And I glance again at the disintegrating old man sitting alone in the window booth wearing the face of a jailed old bird with clipped wings and the grievous expression of an ***** gent. He would pass one day, leaving a dusty, crumbling shanty to his children, a box of crinkled newspaper clippings full of obituaries, and an empty seat in the booth by the window, where someday I will collapse in the a.m. take my coffee black and cut my husband's name from the paper, wishing I was on that train shedding this loose blotchy skin for the rough hands I had the day I chased the engine to the edge of town and regretted the moment that I turned around and came home.
0
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 5:44 AM UTC
I'll unchain myself one day. (A personal little rant about this sinkhole we call home)
I'll miss the day we were crawling down main-street at 4 a.m after we slept in the guest house and danced to CCR. Tossing our beer cans in the neighbor's trash, and singing with every molecule of our bodies at the passing train that deafened us from 20 feet away. We ran wild beneath the overpass, climbing the engines lying dormant on the tracks, pretending we could fuel them up ride across the nation in a rusted box car write our names between the colors of illegible graffiti and shout against the wind as we rolled through the hills. And what a shame we didn't chase that passing train the way we could have. What a shame we didn't let it carry us away with nothing but our flannel jackets and cut off shorts, the lighter in my pocket, and the thirst for a nice adventure. We sauntered back to the diner, exhausted by the scenery and faces, our buzzes vanishing to the neon signs of bars, seven bars on one street, and the smell of coffee as the elderly hobbled in with the morning paper clutched between arthritic fingers. Tomorrow, and everyday after, a train will pass through town at 4:45 a.m. and I can hop on the caboose any day I desire. Each birthday slithers by, flicking it's tongue in my direction, tasting my youth. And I glance again at the disintegrating old man sitting alone in the window booth wearing the face of a jailed old bird with clipped wings and the grievous expression of an ***** gent. He would pass one day, leaving a dusty, crumbling shanty to his children, a box of crinkled newspaper clippings full of obituaries, and an empty seat in the booth by the window, where someday I will collapse in the a.m. take my coffee black and cut my husband's name from the paper, wishing I was on that train shedding this loose blotchy skin for the rough hands I had the day I chased the engine to the edge of town and regretted the moment that I turned around and came home.
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Disregarded,  no thanks. I no longer fall for the pranks. I withdraw my cash from the bank. On a scale of one to ten how do I rank? Poverty stenches & stank. Stale & untrusted. Broken,  abandoned,  & undusted. Defeated,  hobbled, & now rusted. Felonies & misdeameanors busted. Lawbreakers, corruded & crusted. Marry a man with a job & a van. Who does all that he can. My secret wish on a shooting star. To stop getting drunk at the bar. A walk to his momma's house isn't far. Work ethics get my kiss. Employment was my wish. Success is our bliss. Like jawbreakers dangerous & senseless. Civilization settlers & makers. Pioneers,  homemakers, waiters, bakers, & Quakers. The towns folk are usually broke. Different walks of life is no joke. Occupations & professions of a wife.
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Mar 3, 2015
Mar 3, 2015 at 1:22 AM UTC
Used & Discarded
I do not remember my father as a demonstrative man, but, hobbled though he was by a pre-war psyche, we never doubted the depth of his affection for us. His love of nature shaped our own perceptions of life and his love of sport showed us the path of true competition, that the essence is not to better others but to better oneself. He transfused the ocean into us so thoroughly that we will go to our graves with salt on our lips. At all the painful pinnacles of growing my father was there like a crampon you know will not fail you. A towering lighthouse in his hat and dark suit as he led me through the convent gate on my first day and gently cut me adrift in the cruel seas of education where the nuns patrolled the playground like killer whales in search of seals. He went ahead to each new town to make things ready for us when I started boarding school he let me go in confidence he bailed me out of scrapes with the law, he was as certain as the mountain of his beloved Taranaki and as solid as the beams of a whare runanga. When I returned from overseas my father and I found a space in our lives where we could really get to know each other. Through a winter that sparkled he led me on odysseys into his soul through the walkways, forests, rivers and coastline of the city of his birth which will, one day, witness his death. If I were allowed only one memory of my father it would be this: seaweed expeditions. The northeast winds blew a bounty for his garden onto the reefs around Belt Road and at low tide we descended with our gumboots and sacks to gather the fleshy harvest with its nitrogen-rich pods. He had a system. We heaped the seaweed on a number of high, dry rocks then bagged from first to Iast to allow time for the seawater to drain and the burden to be lessened. I watched him as he moved around and about as deliberately as a crab, gathering the morsels, bending to scoop the necklaces from the sea, the sun's purple fire in the white, white, white of his hair. He had seaweed in plenty at home, it was the experience he craved.
0
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 6:54 PM UTC
MY FATHER
I do not remember my father as a demonstrative man, but, hobbled though he was by a pre-war psyche, we never doubted the depth of his affection for us. His love of nature shaped our own perceptions of life and his love of sport showed us the path of true competition, that the essence is not to better others but to better oneself. He transfused the ocean into us so thoroughly that we will go to our graves with salt on our lips. At all the painful pinnacles of growing my father was there like a crampon you know will not fail you. A towering lighthouse in his hat and dark suit as he led me through the convent gate on my first day and gently cut me adrift in the cruel seas of education where the nuns patrolled the playground like killer whales in search of seals. He went ahead to each new town to make things ready for us when I started boarding school he let me go in confidence he bailed me out of scrapes with the law, he was as certain as the mountain of his beloved Taranaki and as solid as the beams of a whare runanga. When I returned from overseas my father and I found a space in our lives where we could really get to know each other. Through a winter that sparkled he led me on odysseys into his soul through the walkways, forests, rivers and coastline of the city of his birth which will, one day, witness his death. If I were allowed only one memory of my father it would be this: seaweed expeditions. The northeast winds blew a bounty for his garden onto the reefs around Belt Road and at low tide we descended with our gumboots and sacks to gather the fleshy harvest with its nitrogen-rich pods. He had a system. We heaped the seaweed on a number of high, dry rocks then bagged from first to Iast to allow time for the seawater to drain and the burden to be lessened. I watched him as he moved around and about as deliberately as a crab, gathering the morsels, bending to scoop the necklaces from the sea, the sun's purple fire in the white, white, white of his hair. He had seaweed in plenty at home, it was the experience he craved.
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