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"hinges" poems
I was thinking of a son. The womb is not a clock nor a bell tolling, but in the eleventh month of its life I feel the November of the body as well as of the calendar. In two days it will be my birthday and as always the earth is done with its harvest. This time I hunt for death, the night I lean toward, the night I want. Well then-- It was in the womb all along. I was thinking of a son ... You! The never acquired, the never seeded or unfastened, you of the genitals I feared, the stalk and the puppy's breath. Will I give you my eyes or his? Will you be the David or the Susan? (Those two names I picked and listened for.) Can you be the man your fathers are-- the leg muscles from Michelangelo, hands from Yugoslavia somewhere the peasant, Slavic and determined, somewhere the survivor bulging with life-- and could it still be possible, all this with Susan's eyes? All this without you-- two days gone in blood. I myself will die without baptism, a third daughter they didn't bother. My death will come on my name day. What's wrong with the name day? It's only an angel of the sun. Woman, weaving a web over your own, a thin and tangled poison. Scorpio, bad spider-- die! My death from the wrists, two name tags, blood worn like a corsage to bloom one on the left and one on the right-- It's a warm room, the place of the blood. Leave the door open on its hinges! Two days for your death and two days until mine. Love! That red disease-- year after year, David, you would make me wild! David! Susan! David! David! full and disheveled, hissing into the night, never growing old, waiting always for you on the porch ... year after year, my carrot, my cabbage, I would have possessed you before all women, calling your name, calling you mine.
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27.1k
************ at Forty
I was thinking of a son. The womb is not a clock nor a bell tolling, but in the eleventh month of its life I feel the November of the body as well as of the calendar. In two days it will be my birthday and as always the earth is done with its harvest. This time I hunt for death, the night I lean toward, the night I want. Well then-- It was in the womb all along. I was thinking of a son ... You! The never acquired, the never seeded or unfastened, you of the genitals I feared, the stalk and the puppy's breath. Will I give you my eyes or his? Will you be the David or the Susan? (Those two names I picked and listened for.) Can you be the man your fathers are-- the leg muscles from Michelangelo, hands from Yugoslavia somewhere the peasant, Slavic and determined, somewhere the survivor bulging with life-- and could it still be possible, all this with Susan's eyes? All this without you-- two days gone in blood. I myself will die without baptism, a third daughter they didn't bother. My death will come on my name day. What's wrong with the name day? It's only an angel of the sun. Woman, weaving a web over your own, a thin and tangled poison. Scorpio, bad spider-- die! My death from the wrists, two name tags, blood worn like a corsage to bloom one on the left and one on the right-- It's a warm room, the place of the blood. Leave the door open on its hinges! Two days for your death and two days until mine. Love! That red disease-- year after year, David, you would make me wild! David! Susan! David! David! full and disheveled, hissing into the night, never growing old, waiting always for you on the porch ... year after year, my carrot, my cabbage, I would have possessed you before all women, calling your name, calling you mine.
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62
I reached up into the top of the closet and took out a pair of blue ******* and showed them to her and asked "are these yours?" and she looked and said, "no, those belong to a dog." she left after that and I haven't seen her since. she's not at her place. I keep going there, leaving notes stuck into the door. I go back and the notes are still there. I take the Maltese cross cut it down from my car mirror, tie it to her doorknob with a shoelace, leave a book of poems. when I go back the next night everything is still there. I keep searching the streets for that blood-wine battleship she drives with a weak battery, and the doors hanging from broken hinges. I drive around the streets an inch away from weeping, ashamed of my sentimentality and possible love. a confused old man driving in the rain wondering where the good luck went.
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16.2k
I Made A Mistake
it was on the 2nd floor on Coronado Street I used to get drunk and throw the radio through the window while it was playing, and, of course, it would break the glass in the window and the radio would sit there on the roof still playing and I'd tell my woman, "Ah, what a marvelous radio!" the next morning I'd take the window off the hinges and carry it down the street to the glass man who would put in another pane. I kept throwing that radio through the window each time I got drunk and it would sit there on the roof still playing- a magic radio a radio with guts, and each morning I'd take the window back to the glass man. I don't remember how it ended exactly though I do remember we finally moved out. there was a woman downstairs who worked in the garden in her bathing suit, she really dug with that trowel and she put her behind up in the air and I used to sit in the window and watch the sun shine all over that thing while the music played.
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15.2k
A Radio With Guts
When clocks strike twelve and trainings end — lurk not, they say, in school at night. Age-old stories tell of how there’re things that throng in fluorescent light. In toilets silence screeches loud, for when school’s empty, they arise: Ghosts of pregnant girls lie wailing, with cleaner-uncle poltergeists. For now I sit on chilling white, resounding prayers in my mind; my heart racing with dire wish a friend of Casper’s I won’t find — Then eeeeeeek! Is that a door creaking? Perhaps it stemmed from my own mind, Hinges sing as they fly open! Thou who entered, oh be my kind! A thud thud thud as shoes traverse across the glinting marble floor; and louder, louder as they get much nearer to my sacred door! THEN SILENCE or so I wish! But a loud knock takes my breath away. The unlatched bolt lies there lazing HOW’D I FORGET TO LOCK TODAY? A hand thrusts in so hard and swift, door’s open ‘fore I can react! I’m facing now a girl my age, She bawls at me with little tact — Eyes bloodshot and tummy bloated, “YOU DISGUSTING PIG! HOW DARE YE?!” I dash out of the girls’ toilet before she tries to castrate me.
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Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 12:19 PM UTC
COMEDIC TOILET GHOST POEM
Street lamps play As they have before Dim walkway Leading to a door Careful steps Strewn leaves Breathe between gaps Skulking like thieves Rustling trees Otherwise nothing Mind at ease Heart rapidly beating Usually stops here Usually I'd stir But still in slumber I drew closer Eyes on door Familiar scene Stood here before This dream I've been Up the patio Door was ajar Accompanied by my shadow Stretched far Tunnel vision Dripping eave Door handle beckons Hand raised to receive Usually stops here Usually I'd rouse Allowed to enter This time... This house Handle I seize Door seemed light It did not freeze Hinges did not fight Revealed the insides Scanned surroundings Unlit lights Stairs climbing Footsteps I heard Coming my way Sounds absurd But yet I stay Usually stops here Usually dream is done But still was clear It only had begun Darkened figure Descending on bare feet Beauty light as feather Ever did I meet She did not see me Planted at the doorway Impossible it may be Nothing did she say Walked right by My eyes followed Seconds fly In eternity they burrowed Usually stops here Usually I'd wake Yet still I'm here Chance I'd take Stood at the fridge Back towards me Under siege My mind set a flurry Fridge was opened Light casted her silhouette Her back darkened Curiosity grew fat Illuminating beams Accentuated her hair Like golden streams Flowing with flair Usually stops here Usually I'd startle Connection did not sever Continue I was able Spellbound I gawked Rooted like a tree Wide-eyed I stalked This siren before me She drank Not knowing I was there Stiff as a plank I was locked in a stare Finally broke free Shifted my weight She turned to me And then said... Then it ceased Then I awaken Surprisingly pleased Slice of heaven Who was she? Silhouetted face Perpetually... Mysterious grace Foreign albeit familiar Strange but true Now rings clear... It is you...
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Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 10:33 PM UTC
Mysterious
Street lamps play As they have before Dim walkway Leading to a door Careful steps Strewn leaves Breathe between gaps Skulking like thieves Rustling trees Otherwise nothing Mind at ease Heart rapidly beating Usually stops here Usually I'd stir But still in slumber I drew closer Eyes on door Familiar scene Stood here before This dream I've been Up the patio Door was ajar Accompanied by my shadow Stretched far Tunnel vision Dripping eave Door handle beckons Hand raised to receive Usually stops here Usually I'd rouse Allowed to enter This time... This house Handle I seize Door seemed light It did not freeze Hinges did not fight Revealed the insides Scanned surroundings Unlit lights Stairs climbing Footsteps I heard Coming my way Sounds absurd But yet I stay Usually stops here Usually dream is done But still was clear It only had begun Darkened figure Descending on bare feet Beauty light as feather Ever did I meet She did not see me Planted at the doorway Impossible it may be Nothing did she say Walked right by My eyes followed Seconds fly In eternity they burrowed Usually stops here Usually I'd wake Yet still I'm here Chance I'd take Stood at the fridge Back towards me Under siege My mind set a flurry Fridge was opened Light casted her silhouette Her back darkened Curiosity grew fat Illuminating beams Accentuated her hair Like golden streams Flowing with flair Usually stops here Usually I'd startle Connection did not sever Continue I was able Spellbound I gawked Rooted like a tree Wide-eyed I stalked This siren before me She drank Not knowing I was there Stiff as a plank I was locked in a stare Finally broke free Shifted my weight She turned to me And then said... Then it ceased Then I awaken Surprisingly pleased Slice of heaven Who was she? Silhouetted face Perpetually... Mysterious grace Foreign albeit familiar Strange but true Now rings clear... It is you...
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104
The smile of iceboxes annihilates me. Such blue currents in the veins of my loved one! I hear her great heart purr. From her lips ampersands and percent signs Exit like kisses. It is Monday in her mind: morals Launder and present themselves. What am I to make of these contradictions? I wear white cuffs, I bow. Is this love then, this red material Issuing from the steele needle that flies so blindingly? It will make little dresses and coats, It will cover a dynasty. How her body opens and shuts -- A Swiss watch, jeweled in the hinges! O heart, such disorganization! The stars are flashing like terrible numerals. ABC, her eyelids say.
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11k
An Appearance
2002: today i kicked the door to history off it's hinges my jealous frame: still too proud to say a word it seems my folks forgot to pencil in growth marks cause they thought their boy would never grow out of small breath ******* dead, years now buried and i bare his name too many syllables for my father to go back fish & play football to stand in the yard and play catch 1994: my mom, the bombshell in retrospect broke her back in her sleep a thousand times since the stairwell in 87' she still sits for spills post nuclear about settling now from the couch she's a weather report spouting nonsense that makes my father grow grey, crack remotes & slam doors to dark rooms abandoning ship for "cheers" & "scienfeld" while my mother sometimes forgets and sets his place at the table and my appetite is abducted by family photos my mother says things like "go see your brother today" -- Johnny's long gone don't you remember? we buried him the day your smile died 2014: you are inches from me ********* a stray hair caught in the fabric of your coat the last remnants of a dog we laid to rest last week and here we are in the hospital again people don't shake like dogs finality is found in the eyes of humans passing archways into shallow rooms where plague and prayer are the only songs sung round the stagnant clocks it makes me wonder if the clipboards cry over being the last thing someone ever writes on take a number, have a seat stay a while i am back, 7 years old & there are different doors now they buried the ones you kicked in that night in '92 when my lungs were filled with holy water you never stopped smoking i never grew out of asthma
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Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 12:39 PM UTC
it's the little wars that **** us
2002: today i kicked the door to history off it's hinges my jealous frame: still too proud to say a word it seems my folks forgot to pencil in growth marks cause they thought their boy would never grow out of small breath ******* dead, years now buried and i bare his name too many syllables for my father to go back fish & play football to stand in the yard and play catch 1994: my mom, the bombshell in retrospect broke her back in her sleep a thousand times since the stairwell in 87' she still sits for spills post nuclear about settling now from the couch she's a weather report spouting nonsense that makes my father grow grey, crack remotes & slam doors to dark rooms abandoning ship for "cheers" & "scienfeld" while my mother sometimes forgets and sets his place at the table and my appetite is abducted by family photos my mother says things like "go see your brother today" -- Johnny's long gone don't you remember? we buried him the day your smile died 2014: you are inches from me ********* a stray hair caught in the fabric of your coat the last remnants of a dog we laid to rest last week and here we are in the hospital again people don't shake like dogs finality is found in the eyes of humans passing archways into shallow rooms where plague and prayer are the only songs sung round the stagnant clocks it makes me wonder if the clipboards cry over being the last thing someone ever writes on take a number, have a seat stay a while i am back, 7 years old & there are different doors now they buried the ones you kicked in that night in '92 when my lungs were filled with holy water you never stopped smoking i never grew out of asthma
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71
She is the vindictive snow Beautiful, cold causing her chilling touch to leave me numb She creates an overload of dopamine for me But like I said she left me numb She compressed limerence upon me The concentric feelings I have for her  linger This contours her opaque heart Leaving her pliable words lay rendering in my mind She applies this solvent to it leaving me broken Forlorn she left me Yet, the tactile, numbing sensation keeps me going For she is the one I love Causing our hearts to be diptych artwork off our hinges.
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Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 12:02 AM UTC
The Pronoun Game.
Time passing - Is not the tick, tick, tick, of the movies. It is a barely audible, high-pitched ringing in your ears. It is the low thrum of a distant compressor somewhere. It is the sound of the long shadows brushing against the wall. Time passing - It is the fabric rustle of changing your position in a chair. A cat padding along the oak floorboards of the hallway. An electric cube powering a computer. The sizzle of speakers turned on with nothing playing. Time passing - I hear it from a silent telephone, From the idle doorknob and hinges. From wooden steps leading to my front door. Time passing - It is all of this, And nothing. So much nothing.
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Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013 at 2:42 PM UTC
The Sound It Makes
It’s been months since we last kissed and I’ve been trying to figure out why love sounds more like an apology than a confession when it comes from my mouth. I came to the conclusion it’s because I have been emotionally unavailable since I learned that no matter how much you love someone it will not make them miss you. I find myself surrounded by those who have left more than those who have stayed so often they start to blur together. You once said that loving me is like constantly struggling to come up for air without ever being underwater, but you didn’t notice I was suffocating under the absence of everyone who had promised to stay. Someone once told me “leave before they love you, or you’ll stay until they don’t anymore.” You were writing my name in cement and I was carving yours in trees marked to be cut down, saying “this is what happens when someone ruins you before you have a chance to ruin them.” I’ve fallen in love with you more times than I can count, and I’m not sure if that means I’ve fallen out of love just as many. I kept showing you the way out because I wanted to see if you would leave or find a way to lock the door. I was too busy tearing them off their hinges to notice you were desperately trying to bolt them shut. I guess it’s only fitting I’m left asking the windowpanes where you went. I think of the things I want to say to you like “it’s for the best” and “maybe it was never that good anyways” but when I get the chance to say anything I know all that will come out is I miss you, let me stay. I’m trying not to let this bitterness leave a bad taste in my mouth but you never saw the point of someone else’s lips on yours unless they made your teeth shake, and all I can ******* think about is you leaning in first for anyone but me. The weight of your absence is so heavy I can’t remember what it feels like to breathe without gasping. There are a hundred different ways to say I miss you but I’m stumbling over every single one and I’ve realized you can only write about someone so much before the only thing you can write about is the last time you saw them. They say you’re only as good as the company you keep, so I guess that’s why I haven’t been doing so well since you left me.
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Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015 at 6:34 AM UTC
The Company We Keep
It’s been months since we last kissed and I’ve been trying to figure out why love sounds more like an apology than a confession when it comes from my mouth. I came to the conclusion it’s because I have been emotionally unavailable since I learned that no matter how much you love someone it will not make them miss you. I find myself surrounded by those who have left more than those who have stayed so often they start to blur together. You once said that loving me is like constantly struggling to come up for air without ever being underwater, but you didn’t notice I was suffocating under the absence of everyone who had promised to stay. Someone once told me “leave before they love you, or you’ll stay until they don’t anymore.” You were writing my name in cement and I was carving yours in trees marked to be cut down, saying “this is what happens when someone ruins you before you have a chance to ruin them.” I’ve fallen in love with you more times than I can count, and I’m not sure if that means I’ve fallen out of love just as many. I kept showing you the way out because I wanted to see if you would leave or find a way to lock the door. I was too busy tearing them off their hinges to notice you were desperately trying to bolt them shut. I guess it’s only fitting I’m left asking the windowpanes where you went. I think of the things I want to say to you like “it’s for the best” and “maybe it was never that good anyways” but when I get the chance to say anything I know all that will come out is I miss you, let me stay. I’m trying not to let this bitterness leave a bad taste in my mouth but you never saw the point of someone else’s lips on yours unless they made your teeth shake, and all I can ******* think about is you leaning in first for anyone but me. The weight of your absence is so heavy I can’t remember what it feels like to breathe without gasping. There are a hundred different ways to say I miss you but I’m stumbling over every single one and I’ve realized you can only write about someone so much before the only thing you can write about is the last time you saw them. They say you’re only as good as the company you keep, so I guess that’s why I haven’t been doing so well since you left me.
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41
i breathe one breath at a time each inhalation linked to the exhalation before it yet every breath stands alone there's something tenuous about it this soft machine is on thin ice devoured by time in innocent increments like a moth nibbles away wool my heart little gorilla wearing itself out rubber glove with a hole in it weird luck my eyes are bright solar blue ball lanterns if you saw me you would say good bones river of envy yet all hinges on a muscular rhythmic pulsating machine like a determined jaw chewing jumpy mouth yet on the verge of betrayal a glitch karmic indecision   in destinies wheel house a red fist locus banging ones immense sense of self a vainglorious elaboration built over a small pulsating muscle innocuous dumb blood flesh knot drumming scarlet tribe throne of my very soul great sovereign old man in a crib splitting open of its own accord   a sudden rip from life to a dead sea eternity the final frontier starless night
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May 5, 2017
May 5, 2017 at 1:54 PM UTC
I BREATHE
Our heart burns broken at the ends, they fail us, keep building my lungs are wax inside my ribs, you’re burning, well I’m breathing this back breaks walked on from carrying friends, can’t stop now, still working your life’s like rain drops on my tongue, I believe you, keep raining and it’s alright, it’s alright, we are not right now complete and I’m alright, you’re gonna be alright, we might never be complete but the water keeps rising, it’s rising, everybody get into the water and hold each others hands and lives, let’s all push our hearts together.... we’re gonna leave these shores right now, be everything we’ve never been but you gotta swear to promise that we’ll never go back again, ever again and we’re not just islands lying beside each others shorelines we’re all bound with veins and hopes, we are not each others ghosts our hearts are abridged, let's build bridges to each other so this river won’t take us under filled with monsters and goblins, they keep dragging the bottom our life is a bridge, let’s build bridges to each other and pray we don’t go under, oh these careless waters I’m trying not to confuse: being used, with giving all I am by: being used, and giving everything I have, all I am so I’ll build a bridge with hollow bones filled with hollow teeth inside a hollow heart, with the insides carved and let the blood in these veins freeze let the water in these veins freeze and break and flood the dam we are all we have, this is all we need, hold on it may never end and I might have to drink my teeth again if I wash up on the coast so I’ll build a bridge with all that’s left, & not make any more new ghosts show me your life, wide and bright, I hope that patience fills the seams keep what’s inside, dry and right, you arch the frame I’ll span the beams our lives are a bridge for us to give, I want to build a better bridge from every wrong we’ve done to each other, if I forgive will you forgive? cause one day we’re gonna close our eyes for death or rest and abandon ourself, this weak mind and breath and the columns we made, and roots we grew down deep will be pulled and gathered in to firewood, and burnt for heat but when the tension shifts, and these braces turn I’ll try and build a better bridge and when all our piers burn, and the hinges miss I’m gonna build a better bridge our hearts are abridged, let’s build bridges to each other so we don’t take ourselves under Our heart burns broken at the ends, they fail us, keep building my lungs are wax inside my ribs, you’re burning, I’m still breathing this back breaks walked on carry friends, can’t stop now, still working your life’s like rain drops on my tongue, I believe you, keep raining our lives are a bridge for us to give, I want to build a better bridge from every wrong we’ve done to each other, if I forgive will you forgive? our hearts are abridged, let’s build bridges to each other so this river won’t take us under, so we don’t take ourselves under our lives are a bridge, let’s build bridges to each other and pray we don’t go under, oh these careless waters our lives are a bridge for us to give, I want to build a better bridge from every wrong we’ve done to each other, if I forgive will you forgive? our lives are a bridge for us to give, I want to build a better bridge from every wrong we’ve done to each other, if I forgive will you forgive? our hearts are abridged, let’s build bridges to each other so this river won’t take us under, so we don’t take ourselves under
0
May 12, 2012
May 12, 2012 at 3:26 PM UTC
BUILDING BETTER BRIDGES (the silver city)
Our heart burns broken at the ends, they fail us, keep building my lungs are wax inside my ribs, you’re burning, well I’m breathing this back breaks walked on from carrying friends, can’t stop now, still working your life’s like rain drops on my tongue, I believe you, keep raining and it’s alright, it’s alright, we are not right now complete and I’m alright, you’re gonna be alright, we might never be complete but the water keeps rising, it’s rising, everybody get into the water and hold each others hands and lives, let’s all push our hearts together.... we’re gonna leave these shores right now, be everything we’ve never been but you gotta swear to promise that we’ll never go back again, ever again and we’re not just islands lying beside each others shorelines we’re all bound with veins and hopes, we are not each others ghosts our hearts are abridged, let's build bridges to each other so this river won’t take us under filled with monsters and goblins, they keep dragging the bottom our life is a bridge, let’s build bridges to each other and pray we don’t go under, oh these careless waters I’m trying not to confuse: being used, with giving all I am by: being used, and giving everything I have, all I am so I’ll build a bridge with hollow bones filled with hollow teeth inside a hollow heart, with the insides carved and let the blood in these veins freeze let the water in these veins freeze and break and flood the dam we are all we have, this is all we need, hold on it may never end and I might have to drink my teeth again if I wash up on the coast so I’ll build a bridge with all that’s left, & not make any more new ghosts show me your life, wide and bright, I hope that patience fills the seams keep what’s inside, dry and right, you arch the frame I’ll span the beams our lives are a bridge for us to give, I want to build a better bridge from every wrong we’ve done to each other, if I forgive will you forgive? cause one day we’re gonna close our eyes for death or rest and abandon ourself, this weak mind and breath and the columns we made, and roots we grew down deep will be pulled and gathered in to firewood, and burnt for heat but when the tension shifts, and these braces turn I’ll try and build a better bridge and when all our piers burn, and the hinges miss I’m gonna build a better bridge our hearts are abridged, let’s build bridges to each other so we don’t take ourselves under Our heart burns broken at the ends, they fail us, keep building my lungs are wax inside my ribs, you’re burning, I’m still breathing this back breaks walked on carry friends, can’t stop now, still working your life’s like rain drops on my tongue, I believe you, keep raining our lives are a bridge for us to give, I want to build a better bridge from every wrong we’ve done to each other, if I forgive will you forgive? our hearts are abridged, let’s build bridges to each other so this river won’t take us under, so we don’t take ourselves under our lives are a bridge, let’s build bridges to each other and pray we don’t go under, oh these careless waters our lives are a bridge for us to give, I want to build a better bridge from every wrong we’ve done to each other, if I forgive will you forgive? our lives are a bridge for us to give, I want to build a better bridge from every wrong we’ve done to each other, if I forgive will you forgive? our hearts are abridged, let’s build bridges to each other so this river won’t take us under, so we don’t take ourselves under
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56
If there are infinite worlds, there must be one where umbrellas never close- hinges locked open like stubborn jaws, gape-mouthed against walls in patient herds. No one in their twenties owns one, their hamster-cage apartments too small for such luxuries. They ask for rain jackets on birthdays. Mary Poppins still drifts down Cherry Tree Lane, her umbrella never folding, only floating. Children carry slips home for violating umbrella laws, forging signatures in loopy ink. The Morton Salt girl wears a slicker, yellow as a warning flare before the flood. My mother walking me to kindergarten in rain, transparent vinyl dome above our heads- I, the opposite of a fish in its tank. Her hair plastered to her forehead by the time we reached the door. Everyone looks most beautiful with rainwater running down their face. In the open-umbrella reality, time can walk backward- you can unwater a plant, unpeel a clementine, un-kiss someone. Endings lift again, fabric billowing, as if the story had been left open in the wind. Heather and Mike find the road out. Rosemary tips the bassinet. There, perhaps, neither of us was born. What lay between us stays open too long, collecting rain until it sags, slow and certain, like sugar in the first storm.
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Aug 12, 2025
Aug 12, 2025 at 8:06 PM UTC
The Open-Umbrella Reality
Consuming useless videos and content Alone in my room To distract from the racing and hurtful Thoughts about you And it always works for a moment Or a minute or more Until the intrusive thoughts come back, Barging down my door I put it back up, re-screw the hinges And shut it And lay back down to consume more Mindless content
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Jan 15, 2022
Jan 15, 2022 at 7:27 AM UTC
Distractions
The oxygen secreted from the walnut tree, the snap-pole green beans growing up the side of the rusty garden fence, and bags of aluminum cans stored  in the shed with the old cash registers from the antique store. These are the golden frames caught and edited onto organic film, etched into grey matter, projected from a foggy lens onto reflective marble. We abandoned the clubhouse because of spiders; they took the place for themselves after a storm. Our new abode was the patch of grass between the walnut tree and the fence in the back corner of the yard; shady, rough terrain from fallen walnuts, and the grass always had a slight dew in places. "The place where the snakes live" is what we called it when we were sprouts; now we could catch them in both hands. One night, the wind blew over the shed doors; flimsy, sliding rail, aluminum thing. We slinked in and got to play with the old adding machines, foreign tools, jars full of door hinges, and rusty hand-crank egg beaters. Eventually, the roof of the shed collected so many years of twigs, walnut husks, and foliage fallen that tiny trees began to pop their heads up from the clutter. Crickets underneath the gutter guards- two types; the black singers and the ones you have to dig for that will draw blood if they get a hold of one of your fingers. Sometimes, if bravery was roused and boiling, we would drift closer to the railroad tracks in attempts to catch yellow jackets, or even hornets. One popped their stinger into the back of my neck.
0
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 9:06 PM UTC
Cousin Punches
The oxygen secreted from the walnut tree, the snap-pole green beans growing up the side of the rusty garden fence, and bags of aluminum cans stored  in the shed with the old cash registers from the antique store. These are the golden frames caught and edited onto organic film, etched into grey matter, projected from a foggy lens onto reflective marble. We abandoned the clubhouse because of spiders; they took the place for themselves after a storm. Our new abode was the patch of grass between the walnut tree and the fence in the back corner of the yard; shady, rough terrain from fallen walnuts, and the grass always had a slight dew in places. "The place where the snakes live" is what we called it when we were sprouts; now we could catch them in both hands. One night, the wind blew over the shed doors; flimsy, sliding rail, aluminum thing. We slinked in and got to play with the old adding machines, foreign tools, jars full of door hinges, and rusty hand-crank egg beaters. Eventually, the roof of the shed collected so many years of twigs, walnut husks, and foliage fallen that tiny trees began to pop their heads up from the clutter. Crickets underneath the gutter guards- two types; the black singers and the ones you have to dig for that will draw blood if they get a hold of one of your fingers. Sometimes, if bravery was roused and boiling, we would drift closer to the railroad tracks in attempts to catch yellow jackets, or even hornets. One popped their stinger into the back of my neck.
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32
Don't You Dare Speak, Your Words Trying To Make Blue Streaks, On The Monalisa Of My Soul, Black Graffiti Stains My Wishes, And Teeth Bare At My Well Being, Am I Daft? Or Sane? My Head Pounding With Lyrics, About How Cruel Life Can Utterly Be, Sharpie Crossing Out My Faith, Paint Vandalizing My Mended Heart, Rust Dressing The Hinges Of My Heartbeat Itself, And Golden Irises Reset, Back To Seaweed Green, Resting On A Bloodshot Background, Crayons Scribbling On The Coloring Book, Of My Dreams, Making It A Midnight Sky Mask, Flecked With Miserable Maroon Tears, Slang Covers My Intellect, Making It Foggy And Usless, You Can Thank Society, For Sculpting My Strength, From A Slab Of Clay, Burning It In A Kiln, To The Foundation Of Life, I Am Art, Sculpted From The Earth's Face, Yet I Sit On A Shelf, Collecting Dust, And All Of The Arrogent People, Doodle On My Shell, Colors Make An Ugly Mix, On My Bodies Skeleton, And What Is Making Me Special, Is Slowly Drowning, Underneath A Sea Of Graffiti
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Nov 3, 2012
Nov 3, 2012 at 4:05 PM UTC
Sea Of Graffiti
I am the Box Turtle, I shut you out, and sleep away in my shell, I am the Box Turtle, the only turtle who is safe from the world, the only turtle who can shut away the world, I am the Box Turtle, I'll hid for life, behind the hinges that cover me, I am the Box Turtle, Who will slam my door, on you and the world, I am the Box Turtle, I can live my life in my shell, while you continue creating this hell, I am the Box Turtle, I will not fight, I will live in peace not war, I am the Box Turtle, I'll lock the ones who try and hurt me out, to try and survive these battles alone, I am the Box Turtle, inside my hinge like doors, I'll be safe from the world, I am the Box Turtle, I must be safe from you, and any other fools.
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Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 2:41 PM UTC
Box Turtle
They gathered by Williamson Road at sun-up       from neighboring spreads across the Tioga valley. They came with carts laden with lumber stacks -       with saws, adzes, hammers and sundry tools. They gathered with the homesteaders bond.       to co-build their neighbor's' dreams. Sweet music of community echoed off the hills.      Chisels clanged into rock, shaping the foundation, saws sang into boards to frame a timbered skeleton.      The staccato syncopation of hammers fastened walls that soon would shelter plowshares, stock and grain.       A smithy leaned over his fire and forge - chiming iron into sturdy latches and hinges.      Children scurried about mixing squeals and laughter with exuberant fetching and lifting whenever called.      In two short passings of the sun the deed was done       and a handsome new barn, decked out in a wash of red was silhouetted tall and proud against the fading light. Homesteaders gathered at a celebration table       to share a hearty meal adorned by the music of fiddles, grateful smiles and easy laughter.    Then one by one they steered their wagons home       gazing back at what their labors had wrought - knowing to the depth of their communal souls       that we are more together than we are apart Listen up, America!  This is the music of community.       We are more together than we are apart. © 2016 by Robert Charles Howard
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Jul 31, 2016
Jul 31, 2016 at 10:16 AM UTC
Pennsylvania Barn Raising
My eyes are black holes Dead, deceased An ecosystem of decay a habitat for shattered souls My eyes are lifeless Lack luster Sparkled out Behind the wall, we are falling Banging out our heads and hearts against doors off hinges Against some mad buggers intuitions
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Aug 24, 2012
Aug 24, 2012 at 8:00 PM UTC
Black Holes Decay
Singing birds are often better off caged, and maybe I’m no different. Maybe it’s safer, biting my tongue and shoving my hands deep in my pockets when the urge to delineate my woes shivers its way up my spine, shaking the rust from the back of my teeth and loosening the hinges on my jaw. I’m constantly reminded that the world outside my mind is far too dangerous, too brutal for my fragile thoughts, for my feeble words. But every now and then those words get the better of me. They convince me that their songs are worth hearing, that they’ll survive the hell that awaits them. Then, eager and hopeful, they jump off my teeth like a diving board, spreading their wings and gliding out into the world of the unknown, the world of wars waged to divide and battles fought to conquer. I watch as they hang suspended in the air, wings spread, small and beautiful against the ominous background, innocent if only for a fleeting moment. But, of course, beauty has no place here. I cringe as the shots ring out from all directions, as everyone around me opens fire upon my winged thoughts. I shut my eyes tightly against the firing of guns, arrows, cannons: delivering the message loud and clear that the airspace between me and the world is better left unclouded by my superfluous banter. I try not to watch as they drop from the sky, my unsuspecting words, but my eyes force themselves open. Wings broken, hearts still, they crash to the ground, silenced. I want to gather them one by one, my feathered thoughts, gently in my hands; I would take them somewhere safe and give them a proper burial, for they were once so near and dear to me. But I’m afraid of what lies in the battlefield. I’m afraid of the landmines and the barbed wire and the trenches. So I bow my head, refasten the locks on my sore, stiffened jaw, and turn my back on the carnage, on the dirt and grass and the haze and smoke. I turn from my defeated birds, form the bodies of my barely spoken words, and I leave them.
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Oct 31, 2012
Oct 31, 2012 at 3:19 AM UTC
Words of a Feather.
Singing birds are often better off caged, and maybe I’m no different. Maybe it’s safer, biting my tongue and shoving my hands deep in my pockets when the urge to delineate my woes shivers its way up my spine, shaking the rust from the back of my teeth and loosening the hinges on my jaw. I’m constantly reminded that the world outside my mind is far too dangerous, too brutal for my fragile thoughts, for my feeble words. But every now and then those words get the better of me. They convince me that their songs are worth hearing, that they’ll survive the hell that awaits them. Then, eager and hopeful, they jump off my teeth like a diving board, spreading their wings and gliding out into the world of the unknown, the world of wars waged to divide and battles fought to conquer. I watch as they hang suspended in the air, wings spread, small and beautiful against the ominous background, innocent if only for a fleeting moment. But, of course, beauty has no place here. I cringe as the shots ring out from all directions, as everyone around me opens fire upon my winged thoughts. I shut my eyes tightly against the firing of guns, arrows, cannons: delivering the message loud and clear that the airspace between me and the world is better left unclouded by my superfluous banter. I try not to watch as they drop from the sky, my unsuspecting words, but my eyes force themselves open. Wings broken, hearts still, they crash to the ground, silenced. I want to gather them one by one, my feathered thoughts, gently in my hands; I would take them somewhere safe and give them a proper burial, for they were once so near and dear to me. But I’m afraid of what lies in the battlefield. I’m afraid of the landmines and the barbed wire and the trenches. So I bow my head, refasten the locks on my sore, stiffened jaw, and turn my back on the carnage, on the dirt and grass and the haze and smoke. I turn from my defeated birds, form the bodies of my barely spoken words, and I leave them.
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3
We're all human here, right? Why, then, is my side, most human, Something bidden I hide? --- Mockings chant their mocking things, Swinging from the hinges of reality. While, sneers and jeers born from, Overgrown fears, Leave small ****** in my ripe heart - Unceasingly. At the door, my mind assured me, go, And my feet, those dumb things, did listen. Went right into havoc, Wreaked solely by tragic, Souls, so pathetic, I can't even stand it. Who's ripping up my soul so darkly, Save, me and the audience I've made? Surely, the swift-sounding people, With valiant battles to battle - Are too busy to waste time at the gallows. You dug the hole, And jumped right on in, I merely picked up the shovel, And finished it. Though, now, my heart aches, So red and opaque, Curse you, For doing you in. 07.2011
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Jul 17, 2011
Jul 17, 2011 at 11:18 PM UTC
Secrets Don't Make Friends
And i sat Swinging on our bench Painted the color of the words i never said Your lies have crawled up the wooden support And wrapped around the creaky hinges Tired and flowerless You've made it harder to swing I begged you to stay But you kissed me as you left Leaving me sitting alone On our bench Your whispered goodbye repeats in my head Shaking the ground beneath my feet Like a 9.8 earthquake The bench beneath me collapses You told me you can't take the lies What lies? I was engulfed by the vines of your distant words And never even noticed And i, I'm the one who lies? They are your lies Your lies that aged and broke The bench that held our love You believed everyone but me I believed only you And that's where i went wrong Thoughtlessly swinging with you I went wrong You watched me cry You saw love fill my eyes and fall to the soil covered ground My heart broke You told me your heart was mine for the taking So i got up and ran Leaving our broken bench behind I ran But little did i know You were hidden behind the tree That was forever carved with our initials Your foot stuck out in front of me -You were always a step ahead of me- The entire time You had every intention Of watching me fall First on the broken bench And then in front of you And i did Face in the dirt I dropped your heart But it didn't break, It bounced You picked it up, And walked away Never looking back Leaving me broken I realized why you stopped meeting me at our bench Why you waited in the woods And why every kiss felt like the last
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Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013 at 3:49 PM UTC
Our Bench
And i sat Swinging on our bench Painted the color of the words i never said Your lies have crawled up the wooden support And wrapped around the creaky hinges Tired and flowerless You've made it harder to swing I begged you to stay But you kissed me as you left Leaving me sitting alone On our bench Your whispered goodbye repeats in my head Shaking the ground beneath my feet Like a 9.8 earthquake The bench beneath me collapses You told me you can't take the lies What lies? I was engulfed by the vines of your distant words And never even noticed And i, I'm the one who lies? They are your lies Your lies that aged and broke The bench that held our love You believed everyone but me I believed only you And that's where i went wrong Thoughtlessly swinging with you I went wrong You watched me cry You saw love fill my eyes and fall to the soil covered ground My heart broke You told me your heart was mine for the taking So i got up and ran Leaving our broken bench behind I ran But little did i know You were hidden behind the tree That was forever carved with our initials Your foot stuck out in front of me -You were always a step ahead of me- The entire time You had every intention Of watching me fall First on the broken bench And then in front of you And i did Face in the dirt I dropped your heart But it didn't break, It bounced You picked it up, And walked away Never looking back Leaving me broken I realized why you stopped meeting me at our bench Why you waited in the woods And why every kiss felt like the last
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59
The lonely notes flowing, falling, leap from The thin and flitting fingers of the pianist, The cup of melancholy, drained to the dregs, bittersweet in that the love of happiness and joy is tempered now, from longing for the delicate and pensive feel, that comes from dipping into the small and lonely pool of melancholy. Grief, a distant specter, hovering in the fringe of chance, is nearer now, melancholy, the doorway, slides open on silent hinges, and admits the crushing tide. High, high, and faster still, the pianist falls, slowly down and up again, grief, the storm, disrupts the flow of sound and silence, and incorporates itself into the threading melody, and so erodes the shores of joy and laughter, the violet waves of gentle melancholy, laced with the thinnest threads of blackest grief, sighing on, erasing so, youth and joy and light and life. The melody falters, stills. The pianist alone, playing for an empty quiet, rises, pauses, his fingers brushing, the cold steel of empty death, smooth beneath his touch. He grasps it, lifts it to face him, hands steady, gaze unfaltering. The man is still, pianists fingers gripping that instrument of death, and time passes, unheeded, ignored. In a motion refined to elegance by the passage of time and repetition, the pianist places that cold instrument of steel and intent gently, down upon the polished black. He straitens, slowly, and settling his black overcoat close around him, he turns, walks quietly to a closed and silent door, lifts the latch, and into a swirling night of snow and light, walks out, and closes the door behind him with a soft and quiet click. And all is silent.
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Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 8:38 PM UTC
Wistful Melancholy and Threads of Grief
The lonely notes flowing, falling, leap from The thin and flitting fingers of the pianist, The cup of melancholy, drained to the dregs, bittersweet in that the love of happiness and joy is tempered now, from longing for the delicate and pensive feel, that comes from dipping into the small and lonely pool of melancholy. Grief, a distant specter, hovering in the fringe of chance, is nearer now, melancholy, the doorway, slides open on silent hinges, and admits the crushing tide. High, high, and faster still, the pianist falls, slowly down and up again, grief, the storm, disrupts the flow of sound and silence, and incorporates itself into the threading melody, and so erodes the shores of joy and laughter, the violet waves of gentle melancholy, laced with the thinnest threads of blackest grief, sighing on, erasing so, youth and joy and light and life. The melody falters, stills. The pianist alone, playing for an empty quiet, rises, pauses, his fingers brushing, the cold steel of empty death, smooth beneath his touch. He grasps it, lifts it to face him, hands steady, gaze unfaltering. The man is still, pianists fingers gripping that instrument of death, and time passes, unheeded, ignored. In a motion refined to elegance by the passage of time and repetition, the pianist places that cold instrument of steel and intent gently, down upon the polished black. He straitens, slowly, and settling his black overcoat close around him, he turns, walks quietly to a closed and silent door, lifts the latch, and into a swirling night of snow and light, walks out, and closes the door behind him with a soft and quiet click. And all is silent.
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17
What joy calls Silent Noise plagues me too As the new love in young hides behind the sun The House of Monaco burns it is a simple matter and joy pretends in two and three She accuses that it is all in the eyes Loosely veiling self doubt in the idealism of love Complexity contradicts and she gives up Preferring to live inside It wants what it wants and Joy succumbs drinking water she knows is poison You are not a hopeless romantic Joy You are a Romantic You are all Woman And twice as amazing -The Zone Your **** has torn my hinges off..... obliterated my door
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Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 1:07 PM UTC
"Joy"