12/18/2014

months ago
walking to your dormitory room
i had asked myself
had i really taken this spurned summer
romance and spun it to this
thing that only breathed when you
touched it with a cautious finger?
a figure moves while i sit
in an empty parking lot at night in december.
we have not spoken in two weeks
and i think that is ok.
it is funny how
i’d **** for you turns without hesistation
into i’d **** you
provided the circumstances and whether
they are extraneous.

Desire or duty,
Love or lust,
Head or heart,
Want or necessity.
Over and over
i'm filled with emotion.
Unconditional coalition.
Brittle decision.
Feeling fusioned in a long-lived germination.
Certainty prevails, no hesistation.
On you, before men, i will make my jactation.
Your love shields me from labefaction.
Asunder, a mere machination.
Generations to come
tell our story

Prozac nation,
suffocating in frustration
while trying to save myself
from the life of living
under four black walls
alone in isolation.
i try to scream subliminaly
but no one can hear me-
thoughts running through my mind
i see my life coming to an end
with no hesistation to regain
a sense of purpose for the pain.
impulsive behaviors will lead me
to incarceration before i get the
chance to reconciliate with myself.
the past is all over me,
all under me and inside of me
manipulating my mind to believe
this interpretation of my life
is the one in which i die.

Nothing major to say
but hoping little stupid things
will suffice
Yet I find myself
always on the brink of hesistation
whispers, yells, and screams
practically pleading to find
their way out
but still, even then
My lips stay sealed
While my brain howls

i don't remember
having jealousy over other
because i  was not a topper
the seasons change and
i thought about it over and over
and  then i realized
that i had jealousy
of the big  gorilla in size
oh  my  my
did  she just said hi
**** it it was her boyfriend passing by
thought it was me but was not me made me cry
with anger and jealousy fried
he made  a new  delicious food
and i was laughing in a joyous mood
because i just added salt and  more spice in the food
and ran away from the dinner like robin hood
i wanted to finish him
chew him
but he ignored me like a bad meme
what do i do?
he is like Einstein and i like Winnie the pooh
he sees things like a new creation
and i think it like a bad sensation
cuz its maths and he answers without hesistation
when he loves
he loves playfully
when i love  caringly
she replies foolishly
when  he says i love you
she replies i love u too
when i say that
her reply brother i love u too
i am  jealous of him
i want to drown him and  swim
but i cannot
because its just my dream
i am crazy
his eyes are hazy
and i am lazy
because i am not fastest network idea 4g