It was a long long ride
To Carrollton, Georgia
From Bad Hersfeld, Germany
Where I started from
Does she smile the same smile
I fell in love with
There's  been longer spaces
Between our communiques
Before leaving Bremerhaven
And making that ten day ocean trip
I still missed the warm closeness
Until the last phone call
She told me  she wanted one more fling
One more so she could squeeze
The last sweet drop from college life
Before we went on the marriage tour
Where she longed to make
All we could of another day
Ringing out our church bells    
But I felt a little cheated
For her to have a relationship
And me to feel the anguish
To always  wonder why
She couldn't hold on
Just one more whisk of time
Still it's so poetic in its justice
That she'll see no one here
To say goodbye to

What if we never met?
what would then life beget
Would the suffering of you parting ease
Would not your existence please
like it does always to me
though countless time i went heartbroke
But now I am more, as off you go
and i am broke
Across the sea shall you be
would i never be there, letting you know
How beautiful you really are so

What if the pond we met at was never a part
of our lives which we cherish equally although apart
and the half moon on top of the football field
was like another regular moon, hidden with stealth
What if the colors on our faces never changed that day
and there was no water to wash them away?
What if i never told you how beautiful you really are
but i guess a million would tell you far,
a lot far from where i lay
where with you my heart stays
but would it not go so beyond
would there be no bond,
if we never met?

Isnt it beautiful to think though
you bring me sunshine on every morning
and i remind you of things you ignore
perhaps i would never bother you with them
if we never had met before
but i guess we had to, synchronize with the harmony
as dancing to the rhythm of life's own irony
fate called and would call but i guess
to have met you made me myself

She's got needs.
His heart bleeds.
She deserves the best.
He can have whats left.
She can live at home.
He's out on his own.
Without a job She's fine.
Jobless he's not worth the time.
She pulls all eyes.
Invisible he dies.
Heartbroke she finds another.
Six feet under he's a number.
She's always the victim
They don't care she killed him.

Without warning
Your words pierce my heart
Like a knife

Sharp
Unforgiving
Cold

Right through my back
Between my ribs
Into the muscle that keeps me alive

Quick
Discreet
Fatal

I am gone before I even know it
Suddenly ceasing to exist
All because of

You
And
Your
Words

Heartbroken
Heartbroke
Heartbrok
Heartbro
Heartbr
Heartb
Heart
Hear
Hea
He
H
Hu
***
Hung
Hungr
HUNGRY.

The radio glows filling the
darkness with phantoms I call
old friends.

They gather to haunt my thoughts
along with you.
And I recall that dance so long ago.
It's become a fine wine Id rather
admire than taste again.

As that look I remember so very well.
We erase the parts that get in the way
of are dellusion filled spell.

The leaves change only to fall
apon ***** streets.
Where others trace thoose same steps
as you and I.

And in the darkness I remember.
as a heartbroke soul's voice calls
through the night.

As shadows  dance and the whiskey
glimmers within the glass.
She's there but a ghost within my lap
her chill brings warmth.

That memorie calls to me as the bottle
is better admired than cracked.
It's passion contained  for another.

Life does fade apon the gleam
of a blade.
Candles are better for birthdays
and little kids cakes.

Fire is shared between two in a kiss.
Reflection mixes well on just another
night like this.

Your name was called in Heaven's roll,
   one moment far too soon;
I miss you more than words can say,
   each moning, night and noon!

I've tried so hard to just move on,
   though long as we're apart;
There's just no hope to live again,
   with such a broken heart!

We more than made a matching pair,
    we made the best of teams;
But now the only thing I've left,
   is shattered hopes and dreams!

Since now you're walking streets of gold,
   behind those gates of pearl;
I know you're blessed more than I am,
   still strolling this olé world!

I guess in words I'm tryin' to say;
   you've left me on my own;
I'm glad to know you're doin' well,
   not heartbroke and alone.

Just know I'm lookin' for that day,
   to see you once again;
To stroll those streets of gold with you,
   to be whole with my friend!

Life was good.

I liked him.
He liked me.

He caught me
As I fell for him
We were in Love
Or at least I was.

Soon he grew distant
And I felt the pain of
Ignorance at times.
And then he finally admitted
He just wasn't in love
With me.

Dropped,
I was desperate to
Hang on.
Only being held by a hand.
I felt stronger
But I started to
Slip when she came along.

You caught this other girl,
Who must have fallen for you
And yet you never
Let go
Of me.

Or maybe you tried.
Though I still hung on.
Desperate
And
Heartbroke.
I need you now more than ever.
I hope you won't let go.
But now I seem to
Fear
The end of a friendship is
Near.

I wish for you to,
I hope you will,
I need you to
Hang on.

I'd be
Lost
Without you.

It's not an
Obsession.
I just
Love
Too much.
And I hope you
Understand that.

I'm desperate,
Dear,
For a good friend in my life.
Don't leave.
You almost left
With too much
Hurt before.
Please, don't do it again.

I still need
Your help,
In guiding me
Through this,

For it isn't over
Yet

We met my sophomore year
This I shall never regret,
It started when we ran across that field
With you on my back,
Laughed we did as we chortled with joy
Everyone laught....... We did not care

My feelings grew for you
Our bond grew close,
We became best friends
Friends forever I still hope,
My love grew stronger,
As the year grew longer,
I helped you up when you were down
Decided not you did to push me around,
I carried you to class
In my arms as you wept,
I wiped your tears,
This I'll never forget,

Then one day you met a girl,
You chose her over me
That day you destroyed my world
Loved you more than a brother I did
My love lasted longer than you would have known
Yet she took you from me
For this I was heartbroke.........

I told you off,
Hurt you I did,
Please know I didn't mean to say
All that was said.......
And please know Jeremy I'm sorry for what I'd done
Will you find it in your heart to forgive me
My rising sun......

Right now I found what I've not had,
    just since I found my place;
It's holding her so close to me,
   to see my angel's face.

You see, she's saved me many times,
   once heartbroke and alone;
She's mended now that broken heart,
   to soften heart of stone.

She means much more than most to me,
   my angel from above;
A package sent from God Himself,
    for only me to love.

Now when it comes a long days end,
   to keep her safe from harm;
I wrap her up and reap the joy
   of Heaven in my arms!

The Eve watching Flash Gordon together
through gaudy chocolate wrappers
that made no difference to the crackling lunacy

The Eve as a coiled-spring eighteen year old
tumbling hoarse from the pub, through shining cold,
to the timed warmth of home and snuck pastry

The Eve lost to tears as a young man
penniless, heartbroke, falling,
safety-net caught, in hindsight

Tomorrow there will be another trail left,
from pillowcase to clues written in wit and love
that lead to presents I still hold tight

sparking up a joint i look out at the field where i spent my summers as a child
the fence where i tore my hand on the barbed wire
the greenhouse with the window
still broken from the baseball thrown a little too hard
it all seems so far away
as if it were from another life
and in a way
it is
no longer am i a child
awaiting recess and nap time
now i await my nightly smoke and another day of being heartbroke

You've left me here all by myself,
    to find a way to grieve;
It shreds my heart to think right now,
   you're happy without me.

I feel at times like nothings real,
   so hard to just move on;
Each breathe I take is crushing me,
   so heartbroke and alone.

I know you're happy Home sweet Home,
   just strollin' Heaven's shore;
But living here without you now,
   breeds pain I can't ignore.

I'm sorry that I feel this way,
   as sad as one can be;
Still tryin' to deal with one small thing-
   you're happy without me.

We are too busy searching through eachothers souls like we do in our rooms, to find the secrets we are hiding and let them be known. Little do they know the secrets come out in the actions we do and words we speak. Everywhere i look i see the scars beneath the smiles, the im fine. We spend every minute of our sad lives pretending.
I was pretending when i told you that i wasnt disappointed you crossed the line. Ive lied every minute to you telling you i had the illness under lock and key, i had finally put a leash on him and told him goodbye. The pain we feel inside is not metaphorical, its real. Its not all in our mind. You can see it every time i try to hide my skin. Or every tear i shed. I am a broken record, i say that proudly no fear my audience will get sick of me i am simply a musician playing my heartbroke melody for all to hear. I no longer lurk in shadows hiding my sins they are written in my eyes and among the stars my body lies. I made my choices and i live with the remorse and painful reminder everyday.  They are too busy searching in my room to find my innocence under my bed and the lies carved into the walls to ever notice the me that slipped through their fingers.

I've been through more struggles this year than I ever could imagine
Betrayed, homeless, heartbroke, decieved and abandoned
I found some hope to turn around from this negative vibe
I've finally preservered, to restart and make a better life
I went through hell and back and came out ever stronger
The past and pain I've been dealt will hold me down no longer
I rose up tall and can now shout out from the mountains peak
I can accomplish anything and everything and be who I've wanted to be!
There's nothing and no one holding me down, I'll keep rising up and tall!
Because I came from rock bottom and suicidal, just to beat it all!
Theres still goals I've got, and desires i plan to obtain,
But to turn around and see my path, I'm proud of what I've gained!
My path has still more length, and I look forward to every stride
Ill have more rocks, and stumbling, even stop and cry
But the one thing I'll hold dear from the cards that I've been dealt,
Is never again, will I, allow to lose myself!

D. Scaggs

"Twenty-one"

You're there,
gorgeous, teasing,
playing unfair.

And I perish,
heartbroke, whispering
my dying wish.

Keep losing you every night
every fight.
Struggle, which is infinite
lost jigsaw bit.

I miss your breath,
your waist's breadth,
your witsful moan,
your playful groan,
your worries even,
all waking me in Eden.

Doomed forever, kept away
lusting for one happy day.
Awhile together in embrace...
then never see each others face.

For I know, my dove,
from Hell came our love!