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Kole J McNeil Apr 2021
sweet silent nothing
blank mind
no feeling
sweet dark bliss
no love no hate no pain no happienss
Dull
Grey
cold

Sharp
Deep breath
Color
Red
Pain
full of light
hate, happienss, pain
it all comes back for one sweet warm second

the its gone again in an instatnt

do it again
feel the light
feel the warm
see the color

Im not who i used to be

i want to stop
i have to stop
but i can't
this addiction brings back all the things that make me me

i dont want to be this

i want
i want to feel

Just a few more on they already rough skin
a few more cant hurt

Just a little deeper
feel a little longer

till it stops working
so you have to go deeper
It will help

no one has to know
no one has to see
its my own broken, ******, angry, hurt little secret
This is what its like in my mind while i self harm. Its and addiction that I have no idea how to quit
Becca DeMateo Oct 2013
When i think of happiness,
It's through someone else's eyes.
When i think of happiness,
It's with another guy.
When i think of happienss,
I see him buying me roses and things.
When i think of happienss,
I start to tell secrets and lies.
When i think of happiness,
i forget about your broken heart and tears.
When i think of happiness,
I think about that cool night in fall.
When i think about happiness,
It's when i look at old pictures while i seal them in a box.
When i think of happiness,
You got my note. "goodbye" that's all i wrote.
When i think of happiness,
I am free again.
But, then when i think of true happiness,
I hate myself because you were my happiness
Teenage Mess Dec 2014
Life, the pursuit of happiness.
Some will go insane trying to fine this "happiness".
They say its just a chemical in balance in your brain,
"Here pop some pills, tell yourself you're happy!"
But what if somewhere along the way we forgot what happy was.
How can we pursue something when we have no idea where to find it, how it feels, what it looks like.
Everyday we'll wake up and place a twinkle in our eyes, a 1000 watt smile on our faces so that those around us don't know.
So that even though the chemical imbalance is there,
And even though we don't know what it feels like, the others around us can go on finding their happienss , forgetting about any of our troubles.
I wrote this because I do it, I see it everyday, I see the pain behind the twinkle and the sadness behind the smile. Please keep fighting my little soldiers, you are strong and beautiful. But most importantly, you are not alone in this hellish struggle.

— The End —